A Song of Ice and Fire: The Purple Wedding 

Genius!

This is reality to me until decisively proven otherwise

Hoisted upon his own custard.

You know that would fit. Given what type of murderous monster Joffery was. He could legitimately come up with something like this. But get too drunk to remember it or think that he's safe from the poison. Due to not eating the lemon cream directly. Its unlikely we will ever know for certain. But I adore your idea just for the sheer lols of it.

What else can we expect from that Foolish Joffrey Lmao

Bram Reichbaum i would love that

"You idiots, you ALL poisoned Joffrey! In fact, Tyrion might be the only "person" at the wedding who didn't spike the little bastards cup!"

@@adrianramirez8882 That would actually make sense. Little bastard or not Joffrey is still his nephew and he did try to discipline him early on for his horrible behavior. He probably believed he could at least straighten the boy up before he could do too much damage as king.

Oberyn poisoned Joffrey because he is a Lanister ,Tywin poisoned Joffey to get rid of Tyrion and raised Tommen as king ,Varys poisoned Joffrey to destabilize the kingom.

the whole of kings landing hated him anyway

shinespider *dons tinfoil cap* Alright Preston, what do you have for us today?

You got him there

exactly, we overthink stuff, but not to that level

@@lorettoponton7218 It's a parody of the Deadpool movie - both the credit crawl and the opening line

Vccc,

Wow! That is possible! He did sent the catspaw to kill Bran using a VALYRIAN STEEL knife, so him doing another drastically careless thing is possible.

@LeadFaun but he did send Kingsguard to kill Tyrion during the Blackwater, if I remember correctly

@LeadFaun It's still a possibility though, isn't it? Kingsguard take orders from the king, it's still a possibility that joffrey ordered the hit

Dun dun dun

That's what I thought too

Yotaz C I dont think it has much to do with Lysa. She was just an easy play. Tyrion is intelligent. He not only knows the game of thrones, he likes it. He is a threat to Littlefinger. Tyrion has proven that he is far more clever all by himself.

Kelly Marie That was before both Littlefinger and Tyrion both knew that Tyrion could play the game well. Back then he was just a spoiled rich kid who was smart as a defense mechanism. Could it be that Littlefinger thinks that Tyrion is a targaryen (or blackfire), and that is what he sees as a threat to his plans of being king some day?

Littlefinger had a sketchy dwarf uncle.

@@summer8856 few times that Tyrion questions LF when holding the dagger but he holds of for a bit he needs him to make his plan successful to see who is spying for Cercei or with her I love when he tricks them all at the time I think he wanted to be LF he seen that he acted alone without anyone help but his own I really did think he was going to bring him down but didn't bother which was a shame would of loved to seen that LF poisoned joffery but was aiming for Tyrion because he knew too much

@@jonathanc6954 or he wanted him dead to make Sansa free to marry in theory Sansa can't be married unless Tyrion is dead which he was hoping for but can be annulled which would be hard to do

So far the books have come out AGOT 1996 ACOK 1999 ASOS 2000 AFFC 2005 ADWD 2011 Suppose TWOW comes out this year, 2017 Then you have these times in years between books. 3 1 5 6 6 So it's reasonable to expect ADOS in 2023. At which point GRRM would be 75. He might make it to 75 but it's not guaranteed. Also it's not out of the question that working on the TV show, doing press events would delay things even further. Then again someone once joked that the first page of ADOS and or TWOW might well be "Adapted from the HBO TV series'. Whether that counts as the series being finished is matter of debate.

"Then again someone once joked that the first page of ADOS and or TWOW might well be "Adapted from the HBO TV series'. " dude... don't even...

He's stopped working on the tv show, as well as editing anthologies.

That's a funny joke.

Vberg56 At his current rate of writing he's going to be 90

It is known,

it is known

idk why but i fcken loved this

Finally a real theory.

It is known

Would you trust your daughter with Joffrey?? No way. The smart way is for them to marry but never consummate the marriage. And Protocol says that the next son will be in line to fulfill the marriage agreement. Tommen can be trusted around your daughter. Its the one safe decision for oleanna to make regarding her granddaughter Margaery.

The perfect balance of self deprecation, hilarity, and talk of masturbation. 10/10

I've played it at least 10 times now...make that 11

Wanted to add that it is inspired by Deadpool's intro... Which is awesome.

miodragniss dude....I masturbate to all these videos 🤔😤

There's just something about Preston's voice...

But it would be a little bit boring if in _both_ cases the same plot twist happened...

Kind of simultaneously ruins the theme that brutality only has short term gains and will eventually get you killed though.

Yeah but its foolish to poison someone in such an uncertain way. Im not buying it... Especially because the monarch situation. You'd never risk it

@@a_mage_as_old_as_joe1598 burnt bones proving nothing is only relevant And slaver's Bay and not at all at the wall.

@@wisdommanari6701 sorry I think I don't understand, what does this have to do with the wall? I'm tired at the moment btw so that could it be... 😂

And Shae was REALLY insistent about serving at the wedding... 🤔 Now, does she just want to be apart of the festivities or was she playing Tyrion for longer than we think??? Imma have to reread ASoS now.

Strictly speaking, Shae didn't need to be a part of the scheme. Highborn ladies like Sansa don't do their own hair and garments before big events. Even if Olenna hadn't touched the hairnet Sansa would have remembered her maid arranging her hair that afternoon.

Replying to a 3 year old comment lol, but i think the plan was for tyrion to be blamed for the poisoning. This would still free sansa up for marriage because tyrion would be executed.

@@1980999chris replying to a response about my 3yo comment, you might be right! It’s kinda surprising because it seems like a slip off from the QoT who is otherwise very poised and in control.

Weren't some of the pearls or gems missing when sansa got out of kingslanding? I remember sansa making a comment about it right after she got out.

I personally thought Olenna's proposal for Sansa to visit Highgarden meant Olenna had known Tyrion would be framed for Joffrey's murder and so out of the way.

​@@TheKadanza missing black amethyst that she worried with her finger like a missing tooth. She knew it was no gem when a black mark was left on her finger

Especially because it’s not hard to see how it could be “Tyrion’s fault” in her mind, if by Tyrion not eating his pie and letting Joff eat it, Joff died.

Also she blames Tyrion for her mother’s death, which is nonsense.

@@jazwhoaskedforthis the fact that i've experienced people as nonsensically hateful as that woman is sad, some people refuse to be happy unless it involves the suffering of others.

Ok I'm just going to say it. Cersei did poison joffrey. It was the pie that was poisoned. As joffrey was coughing and gagging he said that it was the pie he was choking on. Littlefinger was telling the truth and had planned on Olena Tyrell poisoning Joffrey later on in the feast, perhaps when people were more drunk, but Cersei had planned on killing Tyrion and joffrey ate his poisoned pie before Olena could poison him herself. Jofrrey drank the wine and got out a few lines with no trouble, it wasn't until he ate Tyrions pie that he began to choke. Everyone in the feast thinks that joffrey choked. That is everyone except Cersei. She knew he was poisoned immediately after his death. Cersei being the narcissist she is will lie to herself as a way to cope as hardly any woman could live with herself knowing she killed her own son by accident. Lastly George Martin said the strangler was used to make it look like he choked. You cant choke on wine, but you can choke on pie. Case closed.

@@KingSlayer_.that would be so sad and hilarious at the same time. And now Cersei is getting her comeuppance for being a kinslayer for killing her favourite son. You can’t deny, her luck has been pretty terrible since Joffrey’s death.

You can use different strengths of poison. A lower dose would increase onset time.

but cressen was a very old man and joffrey young healthy teenager could it be a difference that made that little shit struggle so much?

but some things are the opposite. Ygritte for example

Bel Exel Tyrion, too. Hideous in the book.

I love this fandom

@@sapiensursus3034 the characters became more attractive, the scenery and objects became less.

@@alexturlais8558 Huh. That actually says a lot about the show as a whole, now that I think about it

Jacker Eightyfour He had me at me

The lemon would also make sure that Sansa wouldn’t eat the cake. As she openly said that she doesn’t like it.

@@squattingheads I thought Sansa loved lemon cakes though?

@@donaldjgumpofficial5754 Jesus

Agee 100%. It seems to me that George knew there would be debate on what killed Joffrey and this was his subtle hint to attentive readers that it might not be the wine that was poisoned like most of the characters in the story and the fandom believe.

@@Jari_Sanou im surprised Preston didn't catch this to.

@@akeelbrown7675 I guess nobody is perfect ;)

Honestly, the fact that the guards are talking so much about the wine makes it look a lot like it wasn't actually the wine.

JOFFREY KING

King Jofferey the Little Shit first and last of his name.

THE MOST NOBLE CHILD THE GODS EVER PUT ON THIS GOOD EARTH!

Really ???? He was a monster! No king !

It is known.

If so, wouldn't the poison be extremely easy to be noticed? Why would the poisoner choose that in the first place?

@@junyulu4648 Everyone hated Joffrey that much.

​@@concept5631The Joffmeister makes it real easy to hate on him

@@FarmerSlayerFromTheEdoPeriod True

good point actually

Exactly plus the Ghost of High Heart says " I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, dripping venom from their fangs" which is meant to indicated Sansa having the poison on her. Smuggling in poison on a hairnet to kill a King might not be the smartest assassination plan, but as Preston pointed out in his Littlefinger Science Mistake Update "Our author is a hippy writer" so we have to put real world feasibility aside and go with fantasy improbability instead.

Dontos as false hope for Sansa to resign her to Littlefinger's control &/or a fallback plot set up as a catch-all means of getting Sansa to Baelish. alternatively, the KETTLEBLACK was supposed to get Sansa to Littlefinger but Dontos got there first. Dontos was then adapted into the plan because Sansa trusted him & killed to ensure she didn't question anything. Olenna's adjustment of Sansa's hairnet + magic stuff convinces me that it held poison. the poison in the pie could have come from the net or both it AND Tyrion's pie could have been poisoned independently. i am more inclined to thinking hairnet -> server -> pie, however. Olenna's adjusting the net was likely her confirming a suspicion that she then warned Margaery of (thus the bride's repeated efforts at getting Joffrey AWAY from Sansa's end of the dais). that Olenna did not walk up to a Kingsguard and go "yo, that Stark girl got shady hair accessories" is entirely justified: it would interrupt the wedding (bad), draw attention to herself (bad), potentially endanger Sansa (distasteful), or endanger her family to Littlefinger or Cersei (VERY BAD) for thwarting their scheme. relying on poison already present in Tyrion's pie seems risky: its placement could change at any time and Sansa (or Joffrey, as it happened) could end up eating it by mistake. that leads me to thinking that the pie/lemon cream was not pre-poisoned but during one of the Distractions. Servant X was to wait for the right moment to slip poison (via Sansa's hairnet or in some lemon cream spread). while Sansa only noticed her hair being adjusted ONCE, she (and Tyrion) was sufficiently distracted & out of the way (end of the dais) for any decent pickpocket to nab some poison without realising someone had brushed against her intentionally.

Another questions is, what became of the poison missing from the masters chamber? Was it a lie?

@@squattingheads I thought that was from when Tyrion had Pycelle arrested in ACoK. He stole some poison to make Cersei unable to discuss terms with the Starks. Pycelle then used the half-truth against Tyrion in court. Tyrion arguing he _only_ stole the poison to use on the queen would only make things worse, so Pycelle rubbed as much salt in the wound as possible. I doubt Pycelle even had Strangler on hand, but who would be able to confirm that? The other maesters are more likely to conspire together.

Like Ron Paul

I heard Joffrey had a pizza parlor that was a cover for some unsavory business.

That’s some CIA taking out the president level theory

The Joffrey administration was working with pro-Slavery Ghiscari to smuggle and sell Shade of the Evening in Westeros and using the funds to hire sell swords to fight Dani.

You don't just audit master of coin It's like 9/11

Kekekek I believe it

That’s also why she calls him out right away

I could definitely see her being in denial and delusional about it, but I find it a hard pill to swallow without any kind of hint. It's very possible, but if it came to be true I'd be less happy about it, at least with what information we have now.

Blu Dreem years late but I LOVE this theory!!!!!!

That makes sense considering Cercei blames Tyrion for his mothers death similar to his fathers and to Joffreys death. Blaming Tyrion for his mothers death is as far-fetched as blaming him for Joffreys death if Tyrions pie was poisoned.

Thank you for singing it! You have quite a voice!

Kayley!!! 🤗

@@PrestonJacobstheSweetrobin Pin this comment, lol! 🌼

What do you guys think of this theory? This directly goes against your Littlefinger - Doran alliance theory. Love to hear your opinion , Dave and Mary Ellen. Huge fan of PJ and TOOTGH 🔥

Good catch. I didn't notice that. (She talks about the Sealord later, so I assumed she was in Braavos, but yeah, she says Pentos). Hmm, that is weird. I currently suspect that Penny is still working for Littlefinger. She did try to kill Tyrion in Volantis before the weird turn of events (that don't make any sense) at the Merchant's House.

Preston Jacobs Volantis is not a safe place for dwarves.

She also says that the Sealord gave her and Oppo "a ... a grand gift" but doesn't say what the gift was. Suspicious. Perhaps the gift was putting them in touch with Oswell/Littlefinger.

@@PrestonJacobstheSweetrobin Which events are you referring too? Genuinely curious, trying to make note of things of importance I didn't think about when I first read the series. I'm starting my first reread in a couple of weeks

@@whinemax i think he means, that after the assassination attempt by Penny, the hostess has her taken upstairs to be cleaned up. that is a weird thing to do with an assassin. Also after the attempt she is willing to help them, while before she wasn't.

it's easier to count things that were worse than season 6.

^ Not really, considering even Season 6 of Game of Thrones is better than 99% of the other shows on air at the moment.... so....

Maybe in terms of Production value, music, acting, VFX, and directing....but writing...no.

Yes, even in writing. You can't seriously be telling me that you think Season 6 of Game of Thrones was not better than 99% of other currently running television.

Helldog6 Not really, the writing is incredibly flawed, full of continuity errors, plot holes, predictable as ever, and cliche. There's way better written shows: -House of Cards -Bates Motel -Stranger Things -Daredevil -Vikings -Hell, even the Walking Dead sometimes

It's safe to assume that the bells have different rhythm and cadency for different things. What's the point of ringing bells if nobody can interpret what it actually means.

While its true that he did write the Purple Wedding, the QOT's confession was in the next episode.

Ah that's right.

+RiceDuke Just because he wrote the episode doesn't mean he had freedom to represent his books. He still had to answer to D&D, and whatever their interpretation would be (which is QOT being the culprit).

Possible, but it's open to speculation.

im gonna lose my shit if GRRM just concludes everything in the most simple manner and most of the theories and conspiracies go to shit lmao. just watch all of yall lose your minds. i would be disappointed thought, cuz i would like for some of them to be true..

It would be excessively stupid of the tyrells to kill Tyrion by poisoning the lemon cream , because Sansa could have easily eaten the cake too. Whoever wanted Joffrey dead also wanted/didn't mind Sansa dying as well.

@@henryrice9263 the pie isn't the first dish, far from it. And LF makes it clear he knows sansa is a delicate youth with "a little tummy" in Sansa VI. I d say there isnt much risk she eats in tyrion's plate, having server x putting another slice of the pie before her.

@@HH-cm5rp Most likely the server slid it on Tyrion’s slice and then covered it with the cream.

@@HH-cm5rp Although given Sansa's known love for lemon cakes it would be stupidly risky to hide any poison in lemon cream. Ollena and LF are both highly interested in Sansa and should know she can't control herself around lemon cakes and frequently over eats them. If either of them put poison on Tyrion's pie their just asking for him to share the first bite with his lemon loving wife.

@@tycoughlin735 but..if it were Cersai trying to kill Tyrion and it ended up killing both Tyrion & Sansa, that would probably just make Cersai happier.

Wait, you mean this isn't his shitposting channel?!

Damn! Bring some water for that burn

omg yes we need more Preston memes

@@bennmapus8788 you suck lol, we want proof to what he says.

Melkor. Why don’t you just go somewhere else?

Right? Being “barely worth note” has nothing to do with whether it occurred, or whether Littlefinger knew about it. Does him knowing about an insignificant event make his story less credible? Wtf

And how about this sweet moment Sansa tells Dontos about Wyllas and all the fandom goes nuts with victim blaming once again. And then Martin gives us one little detail, how at Sansa and Tyrion's wedding Margaery's ladies turn away from Sansa as if they don't know her. And Sansa thinks bitterly: "My friends". Which means their usual manner with her was visibly friendly and close, which would have never gone unnoticed by Littlefinger. So Dontos or not, Baelish would have known about the Wyllas plan anyway, and whatever Sansa did would never change her fate.

Pycelle didn't need to be directly involved in the assassination to want to Nope Out from Cersei's notice, post-regicide: if the poison was bought off, stolen from him, or completely unrelated to him, his "negligence" in keeping track of his stores/failing to report them throws suspicion his way. There are several moments where Pycelle Lets Slip his being Actually Competent and his connecting dots to The Strangler at the Purple Wedding is one of them.

Isn't Pycelle Tywin's man though? Does that mean Tywin worked with Littlefinger here?

@@donaldjgumpofficial5754 Not necessarily- littlefinger could have approached pycelle privately. Tywin wouldn't have signed off on murdering his son in all likelihood.

Tywin was already poisoned.

Thank you, Lucrezia Borgia, for the poisoning refresher.

Olenna's plan is to use Sansa as the key to the North. Littlefinger's plan is to use Sansa as the key to the Riverlands, the Vale, and the North.

Also, theres no 'ea' in Olenna Tyrell's name. Where does he get the infinite gall to pronounce it like that?

Corey Micallef He is a god among boys...since he is like twelve.

That's practically an old man by the standards in these books. It a non-trivial accomplishment he's still alive in the books (I think, I rereading them at the moment).

It's unclear if he is still alive I think. He was getting hung with Brienne but I don't think his life is known

Corey Micallef dude That was Preston Jacob's point

samuel huckaby Yeah I know, I wasn't being serious or anything.

"Littlefinger is an agent of chaos" Poor excuse. There's no reason he should trust Dantos to deliver it to Sansa, so Olenna can put it in the goblet so, hopefully, only Joffrey drinks it. There's more chance of the plan going wrong and them being implicated in it then any benefit he would get from chaos. Why would Olenna want Joffrey dead before the marriage is consumated if she wants Margery to be queen? If Joffrey dies she needs to mary Tommen and then wait so he can get her pregnant. That doesn't do anything for her or her house, only complicates things further. Also, you said yourself, Littlefinger is an agent of chaos, that's precisely why she wouldn't trust him. And then you say she put the poison in herself to avoid suspicion and keep the plan simple, without to many people. Did you even read the book? Olenna trusted a drunk lackey, to give a hairnet to a 13 year old girl, and then trusted that she would wear it and that there would be an oportunity to remove the stone and then put it on Joffrey's goblet and then trust random chance that Margery wouldn't drink from his cup after she put the poison in. The two things she did herself were trusting Littlefinger and placing the poison in the cup, some of the most dangerous parts of the plan, since Petyr isn't trustworthy and anyone could've seen her removing the stone and/or putting it in the goblet (this part would definetly make people suspect an old lady). If she wanted Joffrey dead she could've waited a few months until they have a kid and Margery has secured her place as the queen, and then murder Joffrey without so many complications, like trusting Littlefinger, the drunk guy and a teenage girl, and also without the risk of accidentally killing her granddaughter. There's no logical reason to believe the plan was as it is presented to us. Either it happened differently or George did some real shitty writing.

this is the toll, not the fast-ringing joyful bells.