Actively Dying: Breathing, Real Life Footage Trigger Warning 

My great grandma was 93. She took a nap on the couch and never woke up. We didn’t even realize she had died or was going to die at that moment. She was not on hospice. She had a wonderful relationship with the Lord and she had such a peace on her face, just like taking a nap.

My father had this breathing pattern. He was in ICU with a catastrophic brain stem stroke. Mom and I refused to have him put on life support. I held his hand as he left.

My husband had this. My father did too. I knew what it was, and was comfortable with it. I hope we will begin to know this is 100% normal. And accept it. God is there with them. My husband sat up about a half an hour before he started and said “ my Father”…. And died. I knew we both knew, God was there with him. It’s so normal

My Dad died 10 days ago. I started watching your videos after I was looking up information about Hospice. Thank you for producing these. You helped me understand what was happening to him and why it was happening as he was dying. I wasn't as fearful or worried about Dad's pain or suffering. I recognized definite stages and could kind of predict how much more time I had with him. Much appreciation to you.

Thank you for sharing your knowledge of the dying ways of breathing. Knowing what it looks and sounds like can wipe away the fear we all feel about the final moments of life. You have taught me SO much. 🙏🏻🌹 Thank you! 🥰

Dear Julie .... Our 34 year old daughter died October 27, 2023 and of course as her mom I am devastated. My husband and I are really struggling (Grief counselling starts at the end of this month) - I have literally watched now about 70% of your videos either here or on TikTok and find them very informative not only for myself and my own inner peace but because some of them give me greater hope that she is Okay and at Peace and no longer in pain. Thank you for what you do. Our hospice nurses were AMAZING. Truly angels on earth. You are too! Your video about the solid powerful cream coloured angel and the one titled "I don't fear Death and Dying" have really brought me some peace in my heart. Truly I've felt that if I was going to die soon it would be from a broken heart and your videos just alleviate some of that "brokenness" that I feel. God Bless. She had triple negative metastatic breast cancer complicated by Leptomeningeal Disease for the last month of her life. Can you speak or do a video on Leptomeningeal Disease? Was she confused at the end? Did she hear what I was saying to her? I was just wondering. God I'm crying yet again just writing this. I am a woman of Faith but also a retired RN (my specialty was Labour and Delivery and Maternal/Infant care) so helped usher life into this world and you so lovingly help people leave this world. Again, God Bless you.

I mentally can't watch the video because I've gone through this a few times with my immediate family. I just wanted to comment and say thank you for what you do. Hospice nurses are a different breed and are the best. Thank you.

Julie, thank you for what you're doing... educating people on what is a natural process. People need to understand that dying doesn't need to be scary and that it's mostly a peaceful transition. You're awesome!

Nurse Julie, I really appreciate the videos that you have posted because it helped me learn and understand how the death process happened. That way, I could support my family when my grandmother passed away while in in-home hospice. Because of your videos I was able to predict when my grandmother was minutes away from passing and was able to call my brother into the room before she passed that way he could say his goodbyes❤

My father was in a coma for a month due to a brain stem stroke. He had a do not resuscitate order and he didn’t want life support. The last few days of his life he experienced agonal breathing and I had experienced many people going through this due to being a first responder back when he passed. I was able to comfort my mom by explaining that he was not suffering. Thank you for these wonderful, informative videos Julie. I hope they have helped many people not to fear death. ❤

Before my partner passed almost a year ago I had no idea what to expect. Thankfully I became aware of your videos during his illness and they helped me so much. You were actually my main support as no one told us much and I wasnt in much of a state to ask. I held on to the information you'd given and that guided me through his peaceful death. You are helping so many people around the world. Thank you Julie so much 🇬🇧❤️

Being a veterinarian, I often don’t see the active, “natural” dying process, but appreciate the importance of education and normalization of certain behaviors surrounding death. There are many similarities that I discuss with pet owners in what to expect if they choose to be present for the euthanasia process. People are so much more comfortable and at peace when prepared for the process and what they may see. Your videos are SO important because they help normalize death and the dying process, and give comfort to relatives who may be going through this with a loved one. Keep sharing, please!

Holy cow... This video just gave me closure about my sister's hospice care and her passing on. Thank you for all the great information.

Am I the only person who didn’t see any long pauses in the first video of the person breathing? Watching his chest move, there were practically no pauses? It was very rapid constantly apart from the time they were swallowing.

I am so grateful for your channel. I learned so much from your videos. I lost a loved one in January and I was able to stay by his side as he died with no fear and no stress because of the knowledge you've shared. The work you do is so important, and I appreciate you sharing all you know with us.

My grandma passed from dementia. I was told she was having trouble breathing, so when i went to visit her in hospice, I found her sitting upright with a mask on to provide oxygen. To this day it has left me confused, as i saw her struggling to take breathes and breathing rapid while she seemed conscious. This actually lasted a couple days before she passed. The experience left a tremendous fear in me about dying like that. I find your video to be comforting, because i want to believe that the dying process is made to be easy for us on the way out. My memory of that day is haunting, but i hope its just because I didn't understand what I was seeing. So much so that I told myself I would never let myself get to that point. Your videos are very important for awareness. Thank you.

Thank you very much for this video. My Mom died 23 years ago and exhibited agonal breathing gasping for breath. I always felt that she suffered at the very end. You really made me feel better. Thank you.

My brother’s breathing was just like that. Mouth agape, eyes opened. It looked like he was struggling but I now know he was not. The nurses knew those signs. They asked us if we wanted to gather in his room as he passed. The breathing slowed and I watched the monitor as his heart rate dropped very quickly. And then it was over. Minutes, and then silence. Haunted me for a long time but I feel now that I can let it go. I watch your videos because I’ve lost both parents, my in-laws and four brothers and that shit will stick with you if you don’t try to find some understanding of it. I try to replace that image with the one at the funeral home when his mouth and eyes were closed and he just looked like he was asleep.

Thanks Julie. I lost my sister in April. She was on dialysis for 3 yrs. I saw alot of what you explain in your videos on active dying. She was in hospital on palliative care. Drs were awesome as they kept her comfortable and i ccould see she had a peace about letting go. God bless you .

We lost my mom on November 18, 2023. I so wish I had known about this channel then. She had been battling clear cell carcinoma for just over a year, then unfortunately had a stroke. We wanted her to come home so Hospice was brought in to help but only for short periods of time during the week. Any time there was a change in her condition, the family would worry that something was wrong. Even when the nurses say it’s normal, as you are living it with your loved one, it’s hard to comprehend that it’s normal, because we are not used to seeing our loved ones in that state. Had we been able to see others we are not attached to going through the same thing and getting to hear you explain how relaxed the person is how they’re not in pain and be able to apply that information to our situation would have brought more peace and less anxiety. Thank you for making these videos. I agree that the information should be shared. It had helped me a lot since my mom’s passing. ❤

Thank you Julie for educating us all, you are correct in saying that the public need to see the reality of the dying process, I have learnt so much watching your videos and I'm not afraid to die, hopefully not for many years to come yet 😊, you have yourself a great day and stay safe ❤

Thank you so much for putting out this information. My mother died 14 years ago from pancreatic cancer after being at home on hospice for two weeks. We were pretty much on our own taking care of her and not knowing the dying process and what to expect, was both terrifying and traumatic. This information upfront would've certainly helped all of us. You are an angel on earth, and thank you for all you do!

I work for the NHS and I was recently on an elderly ward, a patient in a side room displayed these exact breathing patterns and because of your videos I knew the patient was actively dying and it wasn’t as big a shock to me when they finally passed. So thank you for educating me and preparing me for these things 😊

As a nurse in oncology I would inform the family of this so they would not be surprised or frightened.

I wish there were more people like you on RU-vid. Why are we educated about life, but not about death? Education about death can remove a lot of those who fears about death. Thanks for contributing to our education of the full life experience that includes the dying process.

Thank you for educating us on what to expect! I watched several of your videos about a month ago, and things took a sudden turn for the worst with my grandmother last weekend. I was able to be there for her and support her through the process of her final hours without being overtaken by the unease of what I was seeing and hearing. These videos are a real service to us all! Thank you for all that you do!

I wish I would have known any of this while my dad was actively dying. Shame on the nurses and doctors for keeping our family in the dark.

This is very helpful. My mum told me how she panicked when my father started to breathe this way. He was in the hospital and never made it to a hospice. I wished someone in the hospital had told her what to expect.

Your channel helped me help my friend with her mother. My friend was frantic but when the conversation was over she was at ease. My friends mom had her rally 4 days ago she's seeing more of her dad that died in 86. In her rally she digressed to a that mindset of a 5 yr old. Thanks for your channel

Got to say, you're amazing..and give you my outmost respect and sympathy towards all you live throughout your career. I know from my own how it is .I love the way all is explained in your videos with respect and honesty .thank you to all special people who's working in hospice care .thank you ❤❤

Thank you for your knowledge and experience. I was in health care and was present for a number of deaths. Every experience can be a little different but everything you share from the months before to the final moments can help prepare families and loved ones of what may possibly take place. Well done.

My father was breathing with very long pauses at his end. He was living with me the last year of his life because he kept falling and couldn't take care of himself. My ex-wife took care of him during the days and I took over when I got home after work. At the very end he was under hospice care at my home, hospice workers/nurses were coming in daily. I came home from work and did the hand off with my ex, she said he was sleeping and I could wake him up for dinner later-though he was hardly eating at the end. I went in to wake him after awhile and couldn't wake him up, called him and shook his shoulder a little-no go. I went down the hallway and called my ex wife-asked if the hospice people had given him a tranquilizer or sleeping pill and she didn't know. I came back down the hallway only about 2 minutes later and he had just passed, I saw his hand slowly closing in increments. This was 20 years ago, but I was glad I got to spend the last year of his life together-we had a chance to do some talking about things we rarely discussed in the past. Many thanks for the knowledge and comfort your videos provide, Julie.

This was my father's last three days exactly. It was tough on me, but I feel very blessed to have been able to help him in his last moments: I held his hand as he died, and it broke my heart and unexpectedly comforted me at the same time.

The Transitional experience is so very beautiful to be a part of. The release of bondage is very liberating to witness. You are a Blessing to many, Julie, for sharing these segments of true Light refreshments. And again, CONGRATULATIONS on your book.

Thank you Julie the hospice nurse, your informational videos were very educational and informative. They helped me understand and help my Mom while she was dying. She’s gone now. I don’t need your help anymore. I am emotionally devastated 😢

Hi Julie - thank you so much for creating this channel and for you content. I think it is so impotant to treat death as a normal part of life, and the more we know the better we can deal with it when it comes to our loved ones. My mother is in a bad condition after a stroke, and 4 times in the last 4 months I have been getting the message form the care facility "we think she will die within hours or a day or two". Every time she has bounced back. From your videos I can see that the personell at her care facility may not know very well the signs, as she has had none of the ones you decribe, except periodic fatiguie (Which the stroke specialist in the hospital told me is normal - this was before she was placed in the care facility). So assessing your videos and understanding better what actually happens when people are close to death is really helpful. I had to push for the facility to offer her food and water again afater the first incident ( The stroke has left her with difficulty speaking full and clear sentences, so she can't always make her wisher clear.), and get a new doctor assessment, instad of unqualified helpers that think they are doing the right thing by withholding liquid and food because they think she is dying, and it is the best for her. The result is that my mother is actively starved to death over time, and without water and nutrition she will ofcourse decline, causing a viscious circle. It has been veru helpful to me to understand more about what "near death" acyually looks like, so I know when I need to continue to fight for her, making sure she gets proper care, hygine, food, water and medicine every day, and when to let go, and let nature takes its natural cause. Thank you!

You are so right, Julie! Education and knowledge is so helpful in understanding what is happening at the end of life. It doesn’t make the loss any less profound, but understanding the process takes away some of the scary things seen and interpreted as suffering.

Thank you for posting these things. It really helps soothe the spirit in difficult times.

Julie, thank you for sharing your knowledge. It takes the fear out of watching a loved one die. My mother had agonal breathing at the end. I had learned enough from you that it wasn’t scary and it helped me to prepare my dad. I had called hospice a few days before because of what I had learned from you. Hospice was the best decision and I would not have called them if I hadn’t been watching your videos. Thank you thank you thank you. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

It would be soooo helpful for families to see this before they have to experience it with their loved ones❤

Thnk you.. I was well educated with your videos.. My father passed and noticed all of his last everything you had mentioned.. You are an angel. Thnk u for making it more easier for me..

Hi Julie,I have been watching you for a few years now,my father died nearly 14 years ago from esophageal cancer and his mouth was open when he passed which was not at all surprising to me ,he was no longer awake for some time before his passing as well

Oh i do wish your channel had been here when i watched my Grandmother pass, because you make it all ok. It was very traumatic for me 😢

Gosh, i just love you for everything you teach us!

Julie, thank you so much for sharing. My dad has Alzheimer’s. I have not been prepared for his end of life. Your videos have educated me so much in recognizing the stages of dying. You are a blessing to so many of us.❤

We were so fortunate to have an experienced nurse with us when dad was actively dying. She let us know what was happening and what to expect. She was the only one awake when dad had that last inhalation, but knowing that he was likely completely unconscious helps.

I really thought I knew what to expect while my Father-in-law was passing. He managed to surprise me though. When his wife and children left the room together to discuss details of his final arrangments, leaving me and another spouse to sit with him. He suddenly stopped breathing entirely. I waited about 15 seconds before I left the room, tracked down the nearest nurse, walked outside to inform the others and slowly headed back to his room, feeling bad that they had missed his passing. I can't say exactly how long it all took but, it definatly took a decent amount of time to do all of that and walk back. Yet, somehow, he managed to draw two more breaths before he passed. One a few seconds before I got back and another as I walked through the door. According to the spouse who stayed with him the whole time, he had shown no signs of life between the last breath I saw him take and his final two. I had no idea that it was possible to go several minutes between breaths at the end of life.

Thank you so much for what you do. It's important people understand what the dying process looks like so they are not more distressed. So often family members and loved ones are at the bedside when someone passes. They become faced with a situation they don't understand because no one has ever explained it to them. Education is key.

It was many years ago now but when my grandmother was dying she'd stop breathing for what felt like a long time, then start breathing shallow again. This happened many times. She was mostly comatose.She wasn't in hospice care but in a nursing home. The I think nurse kept pronouncing hear dead over & over whenever she had the long pauses in breathing. That was a horrible experience. It seemed back then anyway, they weren't trained in this area. I wish she'd have had hospice care instead. I'll always be grateful that I got to be there with her & hold her when she did finally pass away, but the roller coaster of she's gone, she's not was hard. Thank you for sharing these video's with us. They're definitely helpful

I love that you do these videos. I’ve worked in the medical field my whole life (love it!), but not as a nurse. My Mom is in hospice and this is so comforting and teaching me so much. We need this and I am very thankful for you. God bless you 💖

Appreciate the people and families that shared these intimate moments for our learning. 🙏

My mother had this in the last 30-45 minutes, and the hospital hospice nurse said it was because she was in pain 🤦🏻‍♀️. Thank you so much for this. 🙏🏻

You offer an incredible service to those of us who have done home care hospice. My husband went through this. It was just the two of us as he took his last breath and his heart stopped. While I know that I along with our paid caregivers, provided the best care that we could, those final moments were very hard for me. This and your other videos have helped me better understand.

I believe the information you are providing is very important to know

Thank you Julie! Congrats on your sobriety! I hope you are celebrating today on your sobriety day! I am 12 years clean from pain killer’s.

Thank you for all you do and care you provide, your videos have answered so many questions that were in my head from my father who recently passed away.

My dear mother had the ‘ death rattle’( loudly) for 24 hrs before it suddenly stop and she was gone. My Dear father just said ‘ sit me up’ I leaned him forward rubbed his back ,laid him back on his pillow,he gave two big gasps ( air leaving his lungs) and he was gone. Each death can be different, just hold their hand and tell them you love them it will be the last thing they hear. 😔🙏

You are a lifesaver! I work in healthcare myself and currently have an intern that is VERY curious and ask alot of questions. I absolutely love having him tag along since he is so active. I work in home services, we travel home to people who need help with all sort of things within medical care. My problem is that he is so nervous and curious about the end of life for patients. We currently don't have any terminal patients and if we did I don't think throwing him into a situation like that (he is 17 and want to be a nurse). I'm going to show him these videos. Thank you!

I watched this video when you first published it. I'm watching it again days of my 96+ year-old fathers death. I realize now, though that this video prepared me intellectually, but not emotionally for my father's final day. I think I'm actually dealing with some PTSD from being there in the room with him for his final moments. Thank you for sharing this and helping me mentally prepare.

My mum died two weeks ago at home. She struggled so much,agitations and loud noises, she was on the sharp edge. We were only care givers. She didn't react well on morfine 😢😢😢 we were increasing the morfine every 4 hours...

Thanks, Julie. These videos though hard to watch are comforting. I lost a dear close cousin yesterday. Long cancer battle and she came home on Hospice this past Thursday. Gone Saturday. She's a peace so I'm comforted by that. On a lighter note, how's your dating life going? 😊 Haven't seen a recent update ❤😊

First. You are wonderful, Julie.

Thanky for this video hospice nurse Julie. Thanks also for too the relatives of the people who shared thier footage with us. RIP to the people shown in this video also! Informative info like this make death of a loved one just a little bit easier to handle!

Thanks, Julie! Another great post. Sincere appreciation.

When my mom passed my sister, brother and myself were all with her. My sister is a nurse and I was so fortunate to have her there to explain what to expect before it happened. I'd never seen someone die before. To have my mom be the first one made it all that much harder. Yes, watching your loved one die (especially for the first time) was scary and overwhelming. But, more than that it was such a deeply spiritual and intimate moment. I shared my mom's last moments on earth with her. With this women who gave birth to me and filled my childhood (and adult years) with light, love and magic. Even my brother, who is definitely not a spiritual person, yelled out and pointed above my mom's head "do you see the angel". My sister and I didn't, we had our faith. My brother needed something and God gave him a very special gift. I've since gone through this several more times. I won't say it's easy, but I'm no longer afraid and with that comes comfort and peace. Julie, thank you for all you do, you're one of God's angel right here on earth. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

My precious Momma started the Cheynes Stokes breathing on December 2nd, 2022. I sat at the foot of her bed and recorded it for a few minutes on my iPhone. This breathing pattern continued for another 9 days until she started the "fish out of water" breathing on the morning of December 11, 2022. That lasted no more than 10 minutes and her breathing stopped forever.

As someone with severe asthma, it did kind of trigger my lungs to tighten up a little. It's good to know they are not struggling to breathe. ❤

Hello, Julie❤ I wonder if these kinds of breaths are the same in young people at they're end of physical life -? (I say physical, as my own death showed me that one is either in a physical, or in a non-physical, state of conciousness.. The experiance turned me from religion, to science and spirituality, and it has given me and my family so much comfort knowing that we do go on, and that we don't really lose anyone - except for the physical material/atomic parts of our loved ones.) Keep up the good work, beautiful, much love from Norway 🇧🇻💝

Just lost my dad with same breathing pattern. He was 92. Our hospice nurse had the same message. Thank you for your video.

Thank you for showing this. I was a nurse for over 25 years but I could never bring myself to do hospice nursing. I was familiar with the types of breathing you showed. I watched my sister-in-law die from breast cancer while I was in nursing school. I watched my cousin die in hospice about 2 years ago. They both exhibited the same breathing patterns. I am glad I knew what to expect but it is hard to make family or friends understand that this is the end when you know it's coming.

Thank you so much for making this video !!!!!!

Thank you for your knowledge. Makes me feel better about my grandma’s passing.

God bless you for what you do, probably the most compassionate people that do this kind of work.

I have no words, I cry all the time.

We were still left in the dark with Mum at the end but i told them i knew and to be more straight with familys in future, i told them to watch Nurse Julie. BTW it was just like you said it would be Thankyou i am more at peace than when i lost my Father has i did not know any signs

Thank you so much for your guidance and your video’s really helped me this week. You are a blessing.❤

Thank you Nurse Julie ❤

Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. It's much appreciated.

my sister didnt have this so much as an extremely mechanical breathing. She would inhale no matter what like she couldnt control it. Even if she was able to swallow a pill the breathing would happen. Very scary since I was concerned that she would inhale the pill or the water. I really felt like this was the brain stem taking over the act of breathing. This was immediately before she became unconscious. She died a couple days later.

Great vids Julie, learn a lot from them. One question, are you just early for Xmas this year 😁😁 Cheers from Oz !

Thank you for what you do. Keep being awesome 💕

My great auntie I unfortunately wasn't with her when she passed away but one of her carers was as she had 24 care going into the bungalow for her, she had what I've always known as the death rattle so her breathing you could hear the secretions building up where the swallowing muscles stop working and the carer said her death rattle was audible in every room it was fairly loud. When me and dad got there she had already passed and her mouth was open and her eyes were both half open but even then she looked peaceful and we managed to fulfill her last wish which was she wanted to die in her own bungalow at home, which she was able to do. She reached 98 years old so her death was alittle easier to bear knowing she had lived and done everything that she wanted to do in life. Thank you for your videos too They are very accurate and it brings me some comfort knowing everything my great auntie went through at the end of life was very normal.

Thank Your so much ❤from Netherlands

I GREATLY appreciate you sharing this necessary knowledge . Thank you

Thank you Julie.

There is often a lot of pain on being brought into this world and there is often a lot of pain on exiting it. But the pain is followed by joy.

Loved this educational video, thank you!

Yes. My Mother had that breathing pattern a few days before death. It was disturbing. We isolate our society from the normal course of death. In the past, the family and community was present when a person died.

Thanks for all the information!

So appropriate to share this. Thank you.

Hi, my fiancé Josh died last October. He did not do any of that kind of breathing at the end. I watched my father die and he did do that. I was confused with Josh, his breathing was a little noisy but otherwise he seemed relaxed. I stepped away for a minute and he passed. His eyes were closed. He had a slight smile on his face.

Thank you Julie, you are a real Angel, plus your videos are incredibly helpful

Nurse Julie, I have lived with something for 12 years now. 12 years ago, I had to make the decision to, to turn my mother off of live support. I have been struggling with my decision all these years. Her physician ordered morphine, every hour. I would not allow them to give her it, until I felt she needed. You know why the morphine order was given being a nurse. I struggle with the fact, did I make my mother suffer, because I was not willing to let go. I did not witness, any of the signs that you show, but I wanted to keep my mother with me, was I shellfish? To this day, I still wonder why I made the choice I did. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your videos; hospice has assisted with five of my family members, during their end of life. What a wonderful job Hospice does not only for the patient, but the family members also. Thank you, Otto A. Gray

Before I watch the video, I know what video you are talking about. I will come back and tell you if it was.. Nope that is not the video, there a better one. If I could remember it, I will post, it is here on RU-vid and the son is holding his dads hand during the very end.

Hello Precious Nurse Im wondering about your personal outlook on the dying process.. Do you think there is a spiritual element involved? and do you personally believe that the person dying has or is a consciousness that will continue after death? Just curious about your views.. 🙏❤

I'd love to see a video of someone having a vision. Apparently my grandpa saw one just before he passed and i was too young to be therr so i never got to see the expression on his face. My mom said it was amazing.

You are awesome love your videoes. Thank you

Thank you. 🖤

Thank you ♥️

Thank you