ADHD dynamics that can contribute to affairs include impulsivity, conflict avoidance, people pleasing, and object impermanence. Yup, that sometimes extends to people. An explanation, NEVER an excuse!
While it makes sense, I bristle at how this seems generalized. The flip side of ADHD is a massive sense of justice and empathy. As a person with ADHD, I do get bored of partners after the dopamine of early love wears off or have the past trauma issues, but if I start to feel like I should leave, I leave. I don’t cheat. Or I don’t commit in the first place. People with ADHD are usually honest to a fault. We get used to tamping it down to get along, people pleasing, fawning, but we can be explosive and confrontational when we can’t take it anymore. Romantic partners do not usually leave you alone long enough to forget them. Or you are hyperfocused on them so much it drives them crazy instead. 😂
A person with ADHD can have an affair and when or if confronted would probably break down and feel some guilt or remorse but when a Narcissist has an affair not only do they feel NO guilt or remorse but would never fess up or volunteer any information about the affair even if you had video proof and 10 witnesses, they would never admit it
Affairs are deal-breakers. Don't accept cheaters. And you NEED to make it known to your partner, in advance, that if they cheat it's OVER. A good deterrent like this helps. I have ADHD and I take steps to make sure I'm not in positions where affairs can occur. My religion supports that with common sense direction regarding inappropriate behavior: Don't have close friends of the opposite sex, don't be alone with opposite sex, no flirting, etc. Society had been gaslighting us to say it's insecure for a partner to express dislike for these things, but really it's highly inappropriate and disrespectful to engage in this behavior when in a committed relationship. If you want to flirt with others, stay single or beat it. Don't tolerate disrespect people
This makes me make a whole lot more sense. And then when that impulse and spontaneity is gone and the consequences of the actions shows up the guilt is unbearable.
I've been recently diagnosed with ADHD and since I was younger I have an urge for "the hunt", the challenge of conquer someone, it was ever like game, "Get in, take it and get out", like a trophy on my desk. But now that I am marriad, this slighty start to become a problem over the last year (we're 6 years together) and getting worse over time. A lot of drastic humer changes, like "Ok, I'm fine" then in the next second "Don't you fucking talk to me". Ever knew I was different, just didn't know what it was. After the diagnose I can spot when the simptons happens.
@@evo888_4 It's wild when there's finally an explanation to the things that we do. I was recently diagnosed in 2020 and I'm in my 30s and I've had a bit of an existential crisis. lol It's like I'm not hitting my head against this wall I don't know really exists, now I know that the wall is ADHD and suddenly I can see the bag of tools next to my feet and that there is writing on this wall from other who have been dealing with this. I do feel what you're talking about and I struggled with that too...but it's finally recognizing it will you be able to control yourself better (if you want to) instead of feeling like you "just do this" or "this is what I'm like".
