ADHD Energy Management: End the Battle of Burnout & Exhaustion 

Everything takes more energy for those of us who are neurodivergent. Neurotypicals absolutely do not get it. I've been trying since my diagnosis 3 years ago, at age 58, to convince my wife. She still sees it as bogus. (Though she won't admit it. "We all struggle with those things!" Um, not the way I/we do....) When I look back at jobs, our relationship, lack of friends, my current work and struggles and the rest of my life, ADHD explains ALL of the struggles. And anxiety, depression, burnout, straining towards goals, losing focus, hyper focus, shiny new objects, trying to fend off demanding neurotypical brains, being constantly worried about failing and getting fired, exhaustion... all these and more seem to be normal for people with ADHD. Both hands raised on the procrastinating thing. I'm a professional level procrastinator.

Burned out…and still getting nothing done- its like, What am I doing?

I never made the connection between interoception and some of my hyper focused state. It makes so much sense. Yesterday at work I had to get things done and any interruption was upsetting me because I was afraid if I stopped or walked away I wouldn’t be able to refocus. I disconnected from the need to use the restroom, drink, move my body etc. when I got up, it all came into my awareness.

When i reach the end of a Burnoutcycle, when i CRASH, nothing feels good from the list of positive things. When i look at that list all i feel is TIRED. And then i get scared that the Positive List has been broken somehow. 😣

Yes! Thanks for mentioning dealing with cluttered spaces that drain your energy! It also gives me energy to declutter it, and also gives me energy to help others do their spaces , but it took me many years to catch on to this. It is such a tax on us. Having functional home and work spaces is huge for us ADHD folks. It allows more space in our brains to take care of other things we find challenging. Solving a clutter problem can be a huge confidence boost as well. For me, because I was finally successful decluttering, I know it is possible to problem solve my other adhd issues.

issues with emotional dysregulation can also be due to emotional trauma causing ADHD or similar symptoms that led to the (self)diagnosis

I got hit with diagnoses of autism Aspergers and adhd along with stage 4 cancer It about did me in

..."busy ambitious brains"...so perfect! 😘

I have just self diagnosed with auDHD in the last couple of months, and waiting ifor a diagnosis. I feel like everything is a drain right now. I literally can't think of anything to put in the list for energy giving. There has been constant change in my life for the past 5 or so years and I just can't function anymore. There's plenty of stuff I used to do that energised me, but every time I try any of them right now, I'm done witin about 10 minutes, maybe half an hour max. Has anyone else experienced this or have any suggestions? Or do I just keep going with things no matter how short the time and hope it gets easier?

My fight or flight is so active most of the time. Only family/friend camaraderie or THC calms me down. I’m definitely writing down your suggestions to practice. 💃🏽🧘🏽‍♀️

All good advice. We all have to learn to make time for ourselves. I rarely schedule any of the positive stuff but I will from now on. Procrastination still eats up a lot of my time, but I'm getting a handle on that too. 🙂

I’m so happy I found your videos. You’re like an angel sent from heaven 😊

I am 51 and was diagnosed in November 2023. My teen has it too.

The "Think about a time when things were going great" is such good advice, yet it lead me to a bitter realization. I can remember very little about my life before starting high school (I had a rough high school, and especially the beginning of going there was definitely a trauma for me), and afterwards things were just never really going great. :// And I'm now 40...

Thank you. This explains so much. I rarely do any of the things that pour back into me. I just work until I collapse and then can't do anything else.

Perfect timing! I am listening while I am currently exhausted from the work week. Looking forward to the advice 💜

Thanks Caren, these always seem to be timed perfectly to what's going on in this "broken" brain. Cheers

I always love your videos @carenmcgill ! Thank you so much for your content. I've just completed my lists 😊 3 points I'd like to add in case anyone finds them helpful: - Try reframing your energy suckers as positives if you can (eg, Energy suck = cluttered room *becomes* Energy booster = tidy room where everything is in it's place), your Energy Suck list will be much shorter and far less depressing! - Distinguish between the original boosters and the new former suck list booster with an identifier eg, + for booster OG and ++for the new framed boosters. Chunk the reframed boosters down to micro tasks, eg the tidy room *might start as* ++tidy paper on office desk, ++organise pens on office desk, ++use anti bac cloth to wipe clean office desk. Put all other room tasks in the 'car park'. Tackle 2x microtasks plus 1x maintain area (eg, table) per day. Have tools such as anti-bac cloth in the area for ease. - Personally I love chalk pens . They're bright and eye catching and can be used to write your tasks on your windows, mirror or on the glass of a nice stylish empty picture frame. The writing wipes off with a microfibre cloth.

Great video! I'll definitely journal on those exercises when I get time later today. Lots to ponder. ☺️ Question: Have you read the book Stolen Focus by Johann Hari? I think it might be useful to ADHDers. It's about the 12 things that make it harder for people today to, well, do stuff. ADHD is only one of them. It's very well researched. I'm only halfway through the book, but it's helping me reframe a lot of things.

Love this video! There are many reasons why ADHD symptoms show up for so many people. As someone who has lived with ADHD all my life as well as being an ADHD therapist and a parent with ADHD children, I help people understand why we think, feel and behave the way we do. There is an answer! There are many more ways to treat ADHD other than being diagnosed and given medication. Other ways to help understand who you are and how to nurture those qualities. More importantly, there is nothing wrong with us! In fact no two people in the world are alike. We are all unique individuals and that is why my mission is to help people discover their unique gifts. Go discover your gifts!

Well the best i felt in the last years was having a job without responsibility... But the pay wasn't enough to sustain my cost of living... I really miss that times... 😢

Anyone else got the opposite issue with interoception where they're overly aware of their body and all the processes and sensations and find it massively distracting? I've been working on distress tolerance in regards to that stuff and I do see a difference but I just dont see it spoken about so much. Although i was working on getting myself used to the feelong of needing to pee cos i was overly aware of my bladder and it ended up at the opposite extreme where i couldnt tell and ended up getting kidney pain because I went so long without peeing 😂🤦‍♀️ we are a weird bunch of grapes, aren't we?

I'm getting so many great new ideas and revelations/realizations from your videos, thank you Caren. It often happens that I need to stop the video to take notes and explore the new idea that I've gotten.

This was good. For people with constant focus aiming disorders, this helps improve our overall ability to stay awake, less burned out, and more able to get important tasks done.

Having diagnosed complex, PTSD and just recently diagnosed ADHD. There is definitely an overlap in some areas. I have been disregulated since childhood so I’m used to being so burnt out. Would you ever consider doing a video on CPTSD and ADHD. I know with CPTSD sleep deprivation can attribute to burnout and then everything on top of this is so difficult to function in life.

Sooo true! The struggle is soo real!

Was recently re diagnosed and I got back on medication. Helps so much.

I will be honest... Listening to you about the list you mention that drains my energy, and for me it's my flat... Its cluttered and messy... And just thinking about it is draining me. Most days I sleep... I sleep all day and at night I'm awake trying to sleep... Nothing gets done and I'm in this cycle for a while....

Your videos are helping me so much! Thank you for seeing me

I can’t thank you enough for being so relatable and engaging, this makes it so much easier to listen and learn. Your videos have helped me to improve my wellbeing and I appreciate you for this. ❤

In addition, the more you’re disregulated, the more that seems normal. For years I didn’t understand everything I was going through on a day to day basis wasn’t “normal”. Normal in quotes because I understand everyone’s experience is different. Also, using chat gpt in that way is a fantastic use of ai. Chat gpt has been a game changer for me, but I never thought about using it for something like this.

Just began Vyvanse and for the first time I experienced conflict with my husband WITHOUT spiraling into the darkness of RSD! Oh my word. Is this what normal feels like?

What do you do when your kids are the main thing that takes every bit of energy and you don’t enjoy parenthood most of the time . I just wish sometimes that as much as I love them I wasn’t their mom and that I am the worst parent they could have had because everything I do for them feels like obligation and I don’t enjoy any of it.

I really like this, just found your channel. Thank you!

Can your channel also be for adults who have had a diagnosis for a loooong time but never understood it fully, just thinking it was an inability to focus. Doctors never bothered to dig deeper. Only prescribed medication. I’ve felt like the biggest failure for so long but I understand now that I can’t look at it or myself that way.

I only realised that I’ve got adhd because I had chronic fatigue that ended in burn out, and there was nothing else that was really wrong with me. Other than sleep apnea, and previously diagnosed anxiety

Understanding is a cognitive process related to an abstract or physical object, such as a person, situation, or message whereby one is able to use concepts to model that object. Understanding is a relation between the knower and an object of understanding. Understanding implies abilities and dispositions with respect to an object of knowledge that are sufficient to support intelligent behavior.[1] Understanding is often, though not always, related to learning concepts, and sometimes also the theory or theories associated with those concepts. However, a person may have a good ability to predict the behavior of an object, animal or system-and therefore may, in some sense, understand it-without necessarily being familiar with the concepts or theories associated with that object, animal, or system in their culture. They may have developed their own distinct concepts and theories, which may be equivalent, better or worse than the recognized standard concepts and theories of their culture. Thus, understanding is correlated with the ability to make inferences.

Thank you so much for this video I have researched a lot of things for bournout and it’s been difficult find Someone who is actually talking about it for people with ADHD. This method and the way you explained it. Makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much 🖤🖤🖤

I don't think I have ADHD but I've never related to anything more in my life.

My cats are ADHD MORE THAN ME 😂. My career in engineering and management helped me a lot. With Ashwaghanda and ginseng I manage short, intense projects, then crash and rest.

Oh, thank you. I am looking for self-help informations but it seems the moat people prefer to talk about symptoms.

I also think the 5 days is just not a balance that works for me I've found what helps me and part time is definitely way better but finding the right work and work environment is also crucial but a never ending struggle honestly give me a block of land with some animals a veggie garden close to the ocean allowing me to channel my creativity time in nature for grounding and moving my body meditation a simple life is all I desire that what resonates with my soul my values the rat race is honestly not for me it's chaos and makes for a miserable existence ✨🦋 🌊🐳🌞

Do you have any thoughts about dissociation as a coping mechanism which makes it difficult to recall anything?

What if I cant find anything that gives me energy/"fills my cup" anymore? 😢

One of my main "tolerations" is working at my job with ADHD. How do I apply your strategy with something that has to stay in my life.? How do I get rid of a toleration in this area? Another question I have is what if one thing that drains me, is also something that buffers me? For example social media. Thanks

I peed my pants in the parking lot yesterday. I half did it again today. So embarressd because it happened infront of my 3 year old who was potty trained by 18 months😢😢😢😢

I really appreciate this video! Thank you

I really want you for a coach! What medication wise do you recommend or not recommend?

1:59 I found this but very interesting... and very intriguing. So... one question. When this "buildup" stage is engaged in a spiraling-down consequence of negative mental content, it is quite accurate to point out our issues in the Problem Solving department, don't you all agree? So... 🤔 why the hell we ADHDers are matched with Programming/Software Developers job functions where Problem Solving and challenges are... engaging? 🤔 PS: of course, I understand I already gave the answer to these questions, but my point was actually... pointing out how interesting these sort of incoherences are.

Nice info! Thanks

Journalling does not work for me because i have alexithymia.....

I’m not I just get hyper my brain can feel it but I just learnt I have it.

im SERIOUSLY burned out from school , like every type of burned out from every reason , its SERIOUSLY bad ,and i have both autism , adhd and went to school 1 year earlier than most kids. its so bad in fact recently i wanted to self harm becouse of it , thats when i knew it was time to QUIT. so i did , but i still experience stress at school , and the only way to get over this is getting 10k money during vacation so i dont have to go to school at all , i wont get a job sure , but if i know how to earn 10k , i can do it again , and if i can do it again , i will eventually be able to earn more money , and survive without school , i would need to earn 10k everytime they charge me anyway , and that seems MUCH easier than school , and im MUCH MUCH MUCH more commited to it

What if what gives me energy first creates more things on my to do list and then I feel overwhelmed!? 😮😂 Like brainstorming new ideas and new fun stuff to do... but then I have 10 projects on my plate. 😢 Yup... that's the reality of an ADHD Capricorn! 😅

Great video!

Thank you very much.. You are amaizing ❤🤗😘💐

I would like to connect the information and advice in this video with the info and advice in this one: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7VfSCQnGfk4.html It's about overwhelm and how it is related to the ratio between one's passive challenges and active challenges. I see a very strong connection between active challenges (that one is choosing for one's self) and things that give you energy (that Caren talks about in this video), and subsequently a relation between passive challenges and things that drain your energy. Thought to share this, as it may help someone to combine these two ideas, as it did help me. I have issues with feeling stuck and hence feeling frustrated, and procrastination. I've noticed that if I manage to tackle a smaller task, that by no means is an important one, it can get the ball rolling, and may help me to shake off the frustration and start to make progress with the important things as well. I feel like this video, and the video I linked above are giving an explanation to this. And also more tools and ideas how to better work on the issue.

Does anyone know of yes medications to help to focus .. the suggestions here are good!

I cannot imagine telling my asian parents this. "You are always lazy and energetic in school how can you be tired?" No hate on them! They are uneducated on ADHD, so I really don't blame them.

Nice to meet everyone!! Are there any business owners here?

Good.

Thankyou

I found this video useful

Which tool can take my voice recordings and using ai make sense of them? 🙏🙏🙏

Wish I had enough attention span to get through one of her videos ...

Thinking of a time when everything worked well for me? Well, that never happened.

The fear I felt seeing this was a 15 min video when I have problems with attention 😅😂

Caryn, do you have a workflow/app you like for dumping your vms into ai?

Saying that doing X or Y is your choice... Yeah. Not really helpful, is it? Because I really want to choose being exhausted and burned out. Thanks for guilt tripping people, coach 👍

❤❤❤

Where do I certify to be a ADHD coach?

I drain me!

I never did well, only when I was an alcoholic left wing fun drunk droug addict blogger.

Or you can pound whiskey until you numb yourself to sleep

Great stuff, but as a creative, AI = instant negative thought spiral. It's hard to watch your content when you're recommending something that's actively being used to steal from creatives, a large percent of whom are ND. Could you please avoid encouraging the use of something many of us see as a dehumanizing product built on stolen material?

You speak so loud and fast. My brain can’t handle your information because of this issue.

Since you are a coach, you are probably fine with feed back: You are sitting close to the camera, speaking intensely and moving your hands around. Ie: you are making me focus on anything BUT what you are saying. This is a very common mistake made by people making videos about adhd. Unfortunately it’s a sure sign that the person making the video may be diagnosed with ADHD him or her self, but they don’t understand even the basics of it and should not be listened to.

You’re out of this world, thank you for the tips and I’m gonna start to do these tips. I really hope that this helps to decrease my burnout cycles 🥲