I feel so lucky to have stumbled upon your channel. You are an inspiration, and your words are so meaningful to me, and I wish I could say something meaningful to you also. I can't seem to find the words. Thank you so much for your honesty in sharing your journey. I would love to go to the chicken farm with you, please do make a video, if you can. I am so glad you know you are not alone and wish you all the best in finding the medical help you need. I will definitely check out your funding campaign. Sending love and light 💕
I'm praying for you to be strong through this and that you can be admitted to a hospital quickly. I can't imagine how much physical and emotional pain you are going through, I wish I could hug you. Internet hug from USA. ❤️
Your voice is strong today. That's good, anyway. Congratulations on renting out your apartment! That can be difficult even in person. You're in the flow.
So glad to hear from you! Right about an hour ago I was thinking about you and hoped you were doing fine😊 I'm struggling a lot with my own illness right now and I'm longing for better days to come. I'm always happy to watch your videos, they help me keep going.
You look so much better🥰 God is answering our prayers 🙏🏽🙌🏽 I can't fully express how grateful I am to have stumbled across your channel. Your faith and strength encourage me. I will continue to pray for you🥰💕 soldier on
"Met" you just today through 2 of your videos. Your encouraging words are so heartwarming. Thank you. You've inspired me. I pray you get the care you need and wish you complete healing.
We completely understand you waiting to upload. Take your time, we will be here when your ready every time 💕 I’m sorry that money is an issue. It’s the last thing you should have to worry about right now.
It's so frustrating that money is a priority in medical treatment...the world really is an unfair place. Times are very, very tough and right now you need to devote all your energy and focus in recovering, so don't worry too much about updating us on time. We love hearing from you, but please don't put us over yourself. Seeing you happy makes us 10 times happier!! That pillow, mirror, and the messages they both put across are all amazing (It really is true that you are perfect just the way you are.). Very glad you were able to have some fun during such hard times with the doggies. Thank you for this update and I really hope your intestine and health get better overall so you get to visit the farm next week. Perhaps even bring little chickens to your room ;) Stay strong because we all know you can do this and live a happy and fulfilling life ♡
I would love to see your visit to the chicken farm. I have three small dogs and they are my reason to keep moving forward when things get tough. They are also great snugglers and provide so much physical comfort. I always say that my pets have taught me the meaning of unconditional love. Humans have not. I think hospitals should incorporate the healing power of animal companions for their patients. It would have such a profound impact. When I listen to you explain the difficulties you have, I am reminded of a personal challenge that I struggled to recover from for decades. I experienced sexual abuse as a child and for years after that I was unable to use a public bathroom. It just didn't feel safe. My body would shut down. I would have a full bladder and still be unable to pee. I once went 24 hours without being able to relieve myself. My coping mechanism was to completely withdraw from the world. I had to plan every trip or any excursion. I was so ashamed. I lived with this fear in secret for decades. I eventually figured out that the shame of this phobia was keeping me stuck. I started to tell anyone who would listen about my bathroom phobia. Most people were kind but didn't really understand. A few confessed they had the same problem. At any rate, just talking about it slowly started to ease the tension around this issue. I slowly started having more and more success in using public bathrooms. My friends even helped me out by saying, "Don't worry. It you can't go here we'll just keep looking for other bathrooms until you find one that is private and feels safe." That was really powerful. I wasn't in it by myself any longer. I occasionally have a relapse, but for the most part, I don't even think about it anymore. I wonder if in some small way this is similar to your experience. I am sure you have met people who tell you just to eat. How hard is that? However, I know what it means when your body won't cooperate. People told me to just go pee. How hard is that? It was impossible. I couldn't get my body to work. The subconscious fear overrode the wiring in my body. I wanted so desperately to be normal like everyone else and I simply couldn't get there. I think fear, judgement, shame, self criticism--all those things can paralyze us. I believe by sharing your journey on this channel and welcoming strangers into your life you just might be onto something really powerful. I pray you will be uplifted and encouraged to keep fighting. I can only imagine how exhausting this must be for you. I am praying that God will restore your health and heal your beautiful heart!
I have been struggling with my mental health for a while, and your words inspire me to keep going. You are in my heart every day. I check to see if you upload every other day. Sending so much love to you. You are a light in this big world x
I was thinking about you today and now an update just in time. You are such a good person renting that apartment to those people who were in need. Keep shining bright.
You are so brave! I can see how beautiful you are in each video, speaking truthfully about fears, anxiety, self care, love, and getting better. Thank you for your updates. Also, I so hope you can get your intestinal infection cleared soon.
Much love, chiquita. I do so very, very much believe you will get the help you need and am sending out the best energy I can into the universe to help make it happen.
You have got to be the sweetest person I have watched on RU-vid. I am so sorry for your struggles! I enjoy hearing you speak. You have a very soothing voice. I'm sure you are helping others just by sharing your story. If you lived closer to me( I live in the U.S) I would certainly be your friend in person, not just here on RU-vid! Please do what you need to do to stay in the facility. You are worth it! You fight for your life girl, you will be missed if you were not here on this planet!! You have a lot of people who love you and we are all rooting for you! Yes please make videos more often! I will be looking out for you.💜❤️
Angelique, it's great that you have the courage and the strength to share your journey and being as positive as possible. I am so sorry for all the healthcare and practical problems you have to fight but hold on! You are a strong woman who never gives up and l am sure you can recover and that you will manage to have a place at the hospital so that they can support you during the process. I greatly appreciate your positive attitude. I had some struggles myself some years ago and that helped. Be confident and hold on. A big hug from Italy ❣️ obviously can't wait to see the chickens (if you manage to go). Take care 😘
Thank you so much for your support! And so happy to hear you got through a rough period in your life already 👍🏻 look forward to take you along to the chicken farm 🙃
It's good to see you, I'm glad to see that new things are happening for you. Regarding your intestine relapse, I can only imagine how stressful it might be, but I'm confident that it is only a bump in the road. Keep going!
Hi Angelique! Great to see you're still with us and fighting and I'm so proud of you. I think of you daily as we're in a very similar state of illness. I love your might and your refusal to give in. I don't mind what kind of videos you will do, but would love one about how you spend your days at the hospice and if you like to do things like art or craft or anything like that. Also interested to know more about your family and friends if you would be comfortable sharing. Okay if not. Lots of love!!!
Thank you for the update, it’s always good to hear from you! :) I love those tiny chicken. I really hope you are able to visit them! They look so cute and soft, now I want a pet chicken myself :D Also the flowers in your room look so beautiful! I hope you recover fast from your infection and have a wonderful week!
So glad to see you again and with such determination and strength! I am honestly appalled at the lack of resources available to help you. It is really disgraceful. You deserve health and happiness, and you have the drive to get there. I know how destructive this illness is. You do need the support you so deserve and I hope with everything that this comes through soon. Just keep fighting as you are. I think you’re absolutely amazing. 🥰
I have had eating disorders and severe depression since I was 12. I'm 50 now. And animals have always been a huge part of making me feel better. I would love it if I could go to the farm with you. I'm in Arizona USA. It's so dry here, no rain for so long, that I wish it would rain here like it is there.
I just want to tell you how happy I found you, I enjoy listening to you and you have a sweet laugh, chuckle. I'm trying to go to your videos in order, it's hard. But I keep at it. AND! I would love to go to chicken farm with you. ❤
So sweet of you Cathie! I made a playlist of my videos chronologically by the way… does that help? Havent been to the chicken farm yet… but would love to take you along with me 🙂😘
It's so good to see you!! Sorry to hear that you are dealing with an intestinal infection. Sending you healing vibes💕 yes I would love to see more frequent videos and to see the adorable chickens if you can.
I’m glad I found your channel, I hope your doing well and managing to eat as well as u can. I’ve had a ED since 2013 after trauma with a ex partner and a controlling relationship. I’ve only recently become in a place of good recovery. I’m now a healthy weight again, my disorder is EDNOS, I believe I’ll always struggle with it. I don’t enjoy food or eating at all so eating each day is a challenge. I’d love to make friends as like you I have not many, I don’t have family support either and left a DV relationship in august. Since then I’ve struggled with my MH also. But I’m finally in a much better and healthier place. Hoping for a update from you soon. New sub. I feel you and I am with you on your journey of recovery. Please don’t give up as you and your faith and help and support will get you through this. I’m always around if u need a chat my emails in my description on my channel also. Hope to see you here again soon much love to you x p
Thank you for your bravery and honesty during this battle! This video brought me to tears, I feel your humanity and your WILL! Keep fighting! From one ill person to another, you make me feel less alone. Bless you!! (I hope the chicken farm visit is a wonderful experience for you!)
So glad to hear from you, I've been watching your journey and you have been in my thoughts. Sorry for your recent struggles but glad you are feeling well enough to update now tho don't push yourself too much just to update us if you are feeling like it's too much, focus on you first! Your voice is strong today, I'm so happy for you tho sorry for your pain with the intestinal issue that you have re occurring. I feel your pain that some of the things they are asking of you are difficult but you have this, you are so strong lovely, you've got this💜
More often updates and perhaps we can watch you eat to help you stay motivate? People record “work with me” videos - you can record “eat with me” videos x
Writing to you for the first time. You are such a wonderful and intelligent human being. I pray and hope for you to get through this all every day. Please stay strong and keep on. Yes, we will all stay with you through this. Greetings from Switzerland 🇨🇭
Even though you are in so much physical and mental distress, your warm, kind and generous heart always shines through. You are not alone. There are many of us who are with you and will be with you until you recover!
So pleased to hear from you Angelique, and delighted that you have another month at the hospice. It is so sad that it comes down to money. In the UK we have the NHS which means that care is free but most units are short of beds and there are long waiting lists. Good news about renting your apartment. I am so sorry that you are so stressed and exhausted. I am sending you 💕
Sadly the NHS has devolved so much that it's really only excellent at emergency care and physical fatal conditions. It's woeful with chronic conditions (I know so many people who order their meds online because the NHS offers so few options for chronic illnesses).
You are lovely woman, I wish I could be your friend in real life. I send you a huge hug from Spain!!! Please do not forget that you are very special person and that a lot of people like you a lot (+ admire you!) and root for you. You are not alone!!!
Thank you so much for your update! I’m so happy to see and hear you! My answers to your questions are: YES, please upload more videos and YES, make a video of the farm and the fawls! You need to talk to us, and we need to hear from you! Keep on living my dear 💖💖💖
yes more videos and I don't mind your talking. I could watch/listen to you tell your story and your recovery for hours. hope to see more regular updates
I’m thinking about you often❤️ I know you are in a very scary place right now with your living situation, physical health, mental health, and future. But I’m rooting for you and I’m so so thankful that something led me to connect you and Ella 🙏🏼 She will bend over backwards to figure out a way to help you, that much I know❤️ You’re not alone anymore Angelique.
I have chronic diarrhea too! I eat and go within 20 minutes each meal! I can’t even go out to eat being in a wheelchair I hold up the restroom for others to get in. So I understand that even though we are on the totally different side of the scales.
Hey you're looking better :) I believe in you and your recovery! I'd been moderately/severely underweight as a teen due to anorexia, and i made the weight gain recovery as enjoyable as i could. I made my favorite sugar cookie cutouts with icing. They were butterfly shaped (which i had no idea it was related to anorexia at the time). But it made my life more enjoyable.
You are one strong cookie. I don't much care for mirrors either BUT I have learned to not focus on my wrinkles or my skin n bones...I try instead to see the little child that still looks to me and needs me. She needs someone to see value in her...to see promise in her...to feed her, love her, nourish her with silky chicken type delights. I hope you look at your "child in the mirror" today and reassure her of your love. People telling you to toughen up just must not realize how tough you had to be just to get this far in recovery, given your condition when you entered hospice. You have taken amazing steps toward healing yourself AND the child within. Blessings and great hope from California USA!
Angelique, you are beautiful in soul, spirit and your resiliency is amazing. I know you can recover. I am going thru many mental and physical disabilities and its a shame that money and the doctors really dont care :(. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I think every 3-4 days would be good. Especially since we are here to support you and that helps us know how you are doing. Your videos don’t have to be very long, if you’re having a bad day. I have intestine damage too and must eat a specific way. It is troublesome.
Happy to see you again hoping everthing will come together and get better for you in time, when that time comes I will be excited to see you live your life!
You should try to see if there are any organizations that you could apply to for grants!! I did that for my piccline for lyme treatment. It didn't work but they for sure helped with all those expenses.
Lovely to see you again and get an update. Aww have fun with that chicks . Would be great if you could film inside the chicken farm ❤️ keep fighting and keep the faith. Your energy is so beautiful and your higher powers will look after you xxx sending you so much positive energy and love and light. Well done with the improvements in your editing!!!🙌🙌🙌 Really hope you recover quickly from your intestinal problems xxxx We're definitely in this together 💪❤️💜🌈 you're not alone xxx
Hi Angelique! I'm so glad to hear from you again! ❤️ I've been wondering if maybe you could order some of the food you need for your intestines to be delivered there, or maybe ask a friend to take it to you, and also if you can do the same for medicine to care for this infection... I hope you can keep your head up and focus on your nutrition! hugs!
Hey dear, so glad to see you. Thank you so, for share your life with us. At Wednesday I'll go to Therapie also. We can fight... We are strong and we are winners... Send you love and positiv vibes from Germany ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I have Crohns disease (for last 24 years) and I understand the brain gut connection, and ties to behavior and mood. This is why you have to override your brain with tricks, like breathing exercises and physical exercises too, both and either. You have to make yourself do things that are hard and difficult to retrain yourself to think and be different. I've had to discipline myself and my choices to center around what is good for me. It sometimes makes one rebellious to be "too good" so have to be careful there. But it seems you have told yourself that there are reasons why for everything and thats true but at the end of the day sometimes we have to trick our illnesses or go against parts of ourselves in one area or another. It feel impossible but try and take the advice given from good sources! Best of luck
@@liquefaith I am not that special, only taken the good advice, maybe not the first time I heard it but eventually! Be encouraged to do the same, it comes in many forms from the most unlikely sources but one can learn from anyone!
Please don’t take the less supportive comments to heart too much. I’m afraid that goes with the territory when you expose your soul on the internet! Believe that you aren’t in this alone. Many of us are in awe of your strength and resourcefulness and are behind you all the way. I hope your health improves soon!
it is Heart breaking and it should never happened this way No Matter If you are in a hospice or whatever..i mean..they know that this is For living For Waiting For the right clinic and you have to Defens your Life..you deserve soo deeply to be cared, Like a Child when its needing Help,too..or Like an old one,that needs Loving Care,or..or..or..in this world!!!! So glad about the doctor, that should be the Life in which people deeply Care about each Other, especially people Like you in your Situation!!!!!💞
Hi beautiful soul ,your in such a challenging situation but yet handle it with so much strength ,wisdom and determination. I'm sure there are times where it's completely overwhelming especially being in a place that is not supporting your health. It's awful to think in a place like a hospice money comes first and not helping someone with care and compassion unless funds are available. I wish I had something to give the best I can do is send prayers of healing and peace to you.From the health perspective please consider looking up Dr Robert Morse ND you can find him in you tube. He's helped people in some really dire circumstance where no medical Dr has helped .It's totally possible to heal your intestines using his protocol. It's not an overnight process and the sicker the person is usually the harsher the detox symptoms .You are such an inspiration of how you keep going through this incredibly challenging situation ,especially since you show gratitude for the small things others don't notice .I'm sending a big hug to you and yes animals are incredibly healing x
I understand the struggle you are living with. I lived it and still do although I gained the weight back, my mind is still fighting and I am sure you understand both ends. You explained the neurotransmitters in a clear way which is good because I don't think a lot of people understand what is going on in the body. When I was at my worse weight, I was admitted to the hospital but I couldn't go because I was alone and had no help to pay rent etc. so I fought real hard and managed to gain weight and continue working. My youngest son at that time helped me mentally because he was a cancer survivor and he fought his cancer to live. Well two years ago, he died from fentanyl and my will to live is gone. My heart is broken but I still fight to stay afloat. I will pray for you...BTW I hate mirrors too. I believe God can intervene regardless of what the condition. Keep fighting! Megan
Hello my lovely, l've been watching you from the start and donated about three weeks ago. I'm praying for you. Would love to see a photo of yourself before your eating disorder got bad. Would you be happy to share a photo at some point? God bless, you are an inspiration x
I have an es since my tenth… I dont have digital fotos when my health was better. That was pre iphone time 🙃 Do have them as a old fashioned photos. But it hurts me tremendously to look at them so I wont share them now 🙄
So happy to see you! I am a huge animal lover and would absolutely love to see the chickens 💖 I used to help with taking therapy dogs to the hospital where I live, to visit patients once a week. Maybe they would have something like that at your hospital so you could still spend time with dogs? Sending love!
I dont think so but I hope to be able to arrange something myself if I can. Animals are sooooo healing! They make me so happy 🥰 Love it that you want to join me on the chicken farm trip as well! Really hope I am able to go 🙏🏻
@@liquefaith they are so healing!! Anytime I'm not feeling well or my mood isn't so great, spending time with animals instantly makes me feel a bit better!
The thing with the gut sems very logical. I suffered with gut issues since i was 3 month old and i suffer with mental health struggles as long as i remember. A friend of mine with severe mental health struggles also suffered with gut problems his whole life(also developed ibs after his ed, but that was over 10 years into his bad mental health). I wish you all the best❤️
Praying and hoping your infection is getting better. I'm thinking of you regularly. Is there any way I could send you a card? I loved receiving letters and cards when I was in hospital. I still do! Lots of love ❤️
It always shocks me that someone wouldn't fight to live. I don't understand suicide. Anorexia seems to be a form of seeking control or suicide. I'm sorry if this sounds mean.
Appreciate your honesty Paulette! And if you see my videos, you’ll know I totally want to fight and live… but I do need help to survive. Keep looking for that 🙏🏻😏
I have no doubt your intestine issue is messing with your neurotransmetters, and therefore your hormones. It happens to me also with my own disease, which is narcolepsy with cataplexy. That’s a neurological sleep disease and the problem starts in a part of my brain that I don’t know how it’s called in English, but that’s the part of the brain where sleep/wake cycles, emotions and appetite are regulated. I would like to see you experience the soft feeling of these special chickens 🙂❤️
(Sorry for my bad english, it’s not my first language) I just found your profile and I am amazed by your will to live and how you don’t give up. You are such a wonderful person and I wish you all the strength you need to keep on fighting. ❤️ I really wish I could donate you some money, but unfortunately I can’t afford it right now. But what I can offer is (only if you need it, I don’t want to take something away that you like/love doing) maybe my time and help with editing your videos. I have a bachelor degree in media and communications and did some video editing stuff in the past. I am definitely not an expert, but I got the basic skills in editing, animation and right now I am teaching myself Photoshop and Illustrations. I don’t know how much time I can spare but I love making videos so I’m pretty sure that I will find the time for a few hours a week. So if you need help with your videos (or social media stuff) just tell me. You don’t have to fight alone and maybe I can take some weight of your shoulders.
First of all: your english is great! But if you prefer talking in German: ich rede auch Deutsch 🙂🙃 And what a great offer for helping me out with editing!! I could certainly use some tips and tricks 🙂🙂 I would like to keep learning it myself to (am a real autodidact) but helping me out with advice would be a great gift 🎁 🙏🏻👍🏻
Sometimes a person can actually know too much and its their down fall, its all how the knowledge is used, it can be used as manipulations that may harm, or used w/full intent to get better, starting very quickly due to time running out. W/so many years of such said illness, the mind/brain has already been "played" rationalized, lied to us or vice versa, everything is connected. We can not continue the same rationale, the same stories, the same lies and manipulations, the same cons and expect any different.
