Answering Machine (2012) by Paul Spooner 

A new one-off piece from Paul Spooner.
It's a machine for undertaking thankless tasks; useful for refusing loans and favours of all kinds, invitations to dull parties, requests to take part in surveys, to look after neighbours pets or children, to rescue victims of crime, to take part in the democratic process, to become a collector of automata and to deal with all other questions to which the answer, in our heartless hearts, is "no".