IFS Model helps. First we need to know why RSD happens and where it comes from. RSD stems from exposure to relentless criticism over long period of time, during childhood (ACoA and ACE). This is called Complex Trauma. When we are exposed to relentless correction and put downs - our Self will be destroyed. Without Self - we don't know who we are, what we like and where we go in life. Instead - without Self - we depend on other people to approve us and be happy with us. This is called Trauma bonding. So the solution is - building up Self, our persona, our character - which we will notice will start to clash and crash with reality. Other people will criticize us when we say No to their demands, when we choose to dress like we like, when we admit our sexual orientation, when we do things we like (without being selfish of course) - other people will find errors and try to control and manipulate us into their agenda and their norms and beliefs. During growing up - we had no rights to say No nor to run away - and instead we developed self rejection and we build up wrong fake persona - that is adapted to toxic people and toxic ambient : the one who suppress own anger and dislikes.
Thanks……when you are experiencing RSD from an interaction with your friend…..that tribe is also lacking….but I guess you just have to suck it up for a bit because they probably don’t hate you……
