Many parents "live" through their children. Especially if their child has a talent that they wish they had. I've seen it so many times. Like parents watching a Tball game and acting like it's the world series on the line screaming and yelling at the umpires.
I distinctly remember fathers yelling at their child while I was on the field. If they act like that in public I can’t imagine how they act in private, It’s terrifying.
I had my kids in several activities and i cut them back drastically. I was becoming a driver to all these things and i was tired. If mom is busy doing all this then the house falls apart and the kids are not home learning how to run a house themselves. They need to learn life skills.
I wanted to take riding lessons so at 14 yrs old I worked at a horse farm and earned them. My parents would not support that so I made it happen. Growing up in the 70s, kids worked for what they wanted. I learned what hard work was, I learned to take care of horses and drive a tractor. Best of all, I became a good rider. Let them earn it, they will thank you later.
My son use to play a lot of tennis. He took weekly private lessons from 8-10 yo and we played all the time. One day his eyes looked blank, I asked him "hey bud, are you having fun? He said no dad, do you mind if I stop." I said "no bud, you never have to play again unless you want to." He's 14 and we still haven't played since. I'm definitely OK with it. I can see that I was into into competitive tennis myself, and I think he just wanted to please me. He was just naturally gifted and doing very well in tournaments...but his heart was not in it. He mainly plays video games now, but he will shoot BB guns and wrestle with me at times. If I'm being honest, I miss the bonding, but I can see it was from a selfish motivation. I try to embrace his video games, but I'm 51 yo, from a different generation, always played sports, don't understand the hours he puts into it....but I love him and try to honor him as a person vs putting my belief system on him...not that I don't have concerns about the technology consumption...but I know him as a person and truly believe he will succeed at life when the time comes...It's just kind of hard connecting the old school with the new school I think.
@@retirementbudgettravel699 not so sure about that, but I try my best. It's really hard knowing what to do most of the time, but at least I"m doing the best I can at the time.
I loved playing sports as a kid, but was never pushed into them by my parents. And paying big money for sports was unheard of back in the day, as few families had that kind of disposable income. In today's world, however, a lot of kids are pushed by their parents (or allowed by their parents) to turn it into an obsession. And this can be extremely dangerous. Two of my friends kids (who aren't even out of college yet) have had multiple sports-related concussions that have completely derailed their lives (severe headaches for days on end, depression, re-occurrence of concussions with only slight impacts causing them, etc.). Now, they can't play any kind of sports for fear of it triggering more concussions. They should not be dealing with issues like this at such a young age. And their parents (also big into sports of course) have had numerous sports-related surgeries that most people will never need to have or will only have when they are elderly. Many get arthritis 20 years sooner than you would expect. Sports is held up as a kind of holy grail for kids to aspire to, but it has a dark side that is seldom talked about.
This whole countries stupid obsession with sports are screwing up young kids and society. So many kids who aren't interested in sports and choose not to play feel like there's something worng with them or are miserable after being forced to play.
I’m a grand mom and I’m scared my son and daughter-in-law are really close to going overboard with kids activities. My son was not overly athletic growing up but his wife was and has a competitive personality. I see them being so into the kids winning and playing all the time that I’m always telling my son to let it go and that it’s all about the kids just having fun. I worry about it.
What ever happened to getting a football and going outside playing with the neighborhood kids. Costed my parents nothing except the $5 football they bought me. And school sports are free or close to it as far as I can remember, just have to make the team, maybe it’s different other places.
@@jeffb.4800 just a guesstimate of how much a nice football costed back in the 90s lol. You can still buy some okay ones at five below for $5 bucks today tho.
Diaper sniffing has become waaay to big of a bad habit. It's one thing to love, encourage, and support your child well, but it becomes ridiculous when those actions start causing problems such as debt, malnutrition ( pandering to overeating for one example just because a kid whines and screams wanting more Dortitos when he's already had plenty), and never spanking him or her when he or she is acting like a loudmouthed-disrespectful brat in a grocery store. There must be a reasonable balance of awards and " No...not today" or " no..not ever "
As a teacher, I see this all the time. Many parents are darn sure little Timmy is going to make it pro and that he only needs the best gear. They spend lots of money on “Pro-stuff” (like a $600 dollar baseball bat for a 13 year old)
I grew up with no extra curricular activities because my family was poor and we were refugee minorities and didn’t really care for that stuff. I wish I did join a sport. I think it would’ve disciplined me to be more active and have more confidence and be more independent.
My son takes private swimming and basketball classes because he is autistic and was isolated in group classes; he was distracted. In private classes he is doing amazing. All the distractions disappear during those sessions. I am happy to go broke if I can add more sessions
@@auroramothergoddess Going broke to pay for lessons you don't have the money for is stupid. If it is therapy for a disabled child then some insurances will help pay for some or all of the cost. Sometimes charities and family will help pay.
@@marywebb9127as someone with an autistic child and a high income we don’t get subsidized for anything. I went into debt for therapies and medical expenses and I honestly don’t regret a minute of it. I did Dave Ramsay at 25 and owned a home at 35 and then went into debt by 40 and I could care less. My daughter who didn’t speak until 5 is thriving. Unfortunately debt and a career pause required this. Nobody warned me I could have a kid with issues, nobody told me how expensive a disabled child is, nobody told me how society would reject a small child who is different. Maybe Dave needs a senate plan for what to do when a child is different, but he doesn’t. I used to be so obsessed with money and being in control of it and realized a baby saying “mama” is more important than any dollar
We spend on both our girls in the hobbies they chose. Soccer and Dance, both my wife and I love their selections and fully fund and support their interests. It is AMAZING watching them develop and grow as well as the discipline and friendships they are making along the way.
My parents said good grades & sports were a “full time job” to us, growing up. They supported us, within reason (buying us the $100 shoes instead of $30). We all make $100k+/year. I’m actually the loser of my family… I make $135k/yr. no debt outside my mortgage.
Not a lot of parents are thinking their kids will go to D1 colleges or even pro. Stop bashing those travel parents who support their kids' dream(even it's not realistic, YOU have NO right to say it's not going to happen!) and build their core memories by traveling as a family and interacting all the other travel families. Just because you didn't have those experience, or you might have a bad experience, that doesn't mean others will have the same experience/opinions. Let the people live what they want to do with their hard earned money. It's their decision to do! If their kids don't want to play and parents are pushing them to play, that's problematic. But if that's not the case and they have money to spend to "live through" their children- in fact, you don't know how wonderful to see your kids have the same passion to the sports you love- let them be! We don't expect to say those kids who study hard and getting those extra academic tutoring go to HAVARD or any other prestigous univeristys or be something bigger than what they can be. Same concept with the sports. I've seen lots of talented athletes are also very smart! All around students are not hard to find! So many precious memories and life lessons you and your children will learn through sports. It costs money but that's their choice to spend!
Kids have so much stuff and activities thrown at them. They never have a chance to rest and sit and reflect and just get creative to allay boredom. All this “stuff” gives them some sort of high and they need more and more to get that high. Soon, they cant get high enough and I think turn to drugs and alcohol to get that next high. It’s a mess.
There is a better chance the Govt will forgive your student loans than there is your child going pro. Use sports as a way for your child to socialize and build character. Ensure that they aren't playing the same sport year round as it leads to injury. I use the principles and skills from my youth and high school hockey days now as an adult. As Colin Cowherd always says, "Love your family and like your sports".
And if they do go to college to play baseball or softball, scholarships are normally 25%-50%. Way less than a full ride like in football or basketball.
And even if they get a full scholarship, the amount the parents spent on the child's sport(s) throughout the years is often more than the value of the scholarship.
I do think many kids sports and activities go way too far..and can burn kids out and sometimes take up so much of the parents money, and take up so much of the kids time that it’s hard for them to be well rounded. But, also kids in a lot of sports who are focused on them “may” stay out of trouble because of boredom. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from group activities and sports also. I just think it’s not good when the activities are draining the household budget.
That's why I refuse to do any of them....I'd rather stay home and do what my mom tells me to do! I stay busy as she never has to lift a finger when I'm home!
You sound like a very thoughtful person! You probably have no idea how much your parents appreciate you for being so considerate! We need more kids like you!
People hate their lives and the various sports are an out for everyone. We have no meaning besides being competitive with Johnny and his dad. It's a cultural problem.
My son loves basketball. I encourage him in it and play basketball with him. We don’t spend hardly any money on it. He spends a lot of time developing his skills on the court. He’s so self-motivated and a straight A student. School work comes first and when he’s done he can play basketball. I would much rather he do this than play video games. Video games are much worse addiction!!!!! You should talk about Video game addiction among the youth Dave and John
But the one thing that I do like is supporting not just kids hobbies but hobbies in general most people out there have hobbies on the side and they earn side money because they choose to make a business out of their hobby That's the one thing that I want to know about my kids I want to know when I have kids whenever that is will they want to make a side business or full-time business out of their hobby if not okay I'll put more budget cuts on it but if they do I will help them and guide them but if they say I don't know then I will hold off on spending any type of money for their hobby or activity. Not everybody needs college okay everybody needs schooling but after high school it's their choice okay yeah have some money left over for college but don't put your whole freaking life and the freaking college funds just for your kids do you want to know what most kids despite how they're raised treat college they only arrive or intend one or two classes the most and waste rest of the college classes and times doing God knows what okay
So I'm going to finish off with this I respect you Dave Ramsey and I agree with what you're saying but I just agree with how you're saying it meaning your kid should also have a say in their future too My dad not just has a Christian but as a teacher long time ago said that to his students too no kid should have to live the life that their parents want them to live okay if the kids don't want to go to college they don't have to Yes they have to figure out how to live on their own survive yada yada all that yes I understand but everybody goes at about their own pace okay The one thing that I have trouble with is patience and there's that God bless and God speed.
I'll never understand these people who spend the day watching sportsball who jump up and scream cheers or outrage at a bunch of grown ups _they will never meet_ playing a game for children. Generally they refer to their favorite teams with words like "we" and "us" as if they are part of the team. I guess these are people living vicariously through the team they imagine themselves upon.
He does mention cheerleading at 1:38. But I must add that it's not a true sport. And all-star (non-school) cheerleading can cost a fortune! All-star uniforms are far more expensive than school ones ($400+), then there is gym fees, travel expenses to competitions, just to name a few. And what benefit will the girls get out of it long-term? What happens when she becomes an adult? Her cheerleading days will be over, and time to get with the real world.
Goodbye the days where kids are seen and not heard nowadays even I want my kids one day to be heard and seen at the same time I don't just want to teach them common sense but add to myself I don't want my kids life to be better than mine because I don't want them to be spoiled like me well that's true but I also don't want my kids to actually hate me but I don't mind my kids kind of metaphorically hating me wanting to get on with their own lives
@@jrwntctv8091 never understood the hatred for video games. a very high % of them teach at least some good skills and ways of thinking and many of them are great at building logic and reasoning as well as spatial reasoning, math, reading, and plenty of other things.
Dave Ramsey: I'll tell you what my dad tells me in both of us were Christians so I'll give you this Dave Ramsey you may have not said it but it definitely came across like that.
