Are you transgender? Male to Female/MtF Part 1 

I wish it was as easy as waking up the way I see myself

"Imagine you could never change it" *Waterfalls in my eyes*

WOW I am 72 years old and only began living as a woman 4 years ago. I was diagnosed Transgender when I was 28. i tried and tried constantly to be a complete woman. The past 4 years have been some of my happiest years. Everything she spoke about is very true. Thank you for that

this didn't only help, it basically confirmed it. thank you so much

I've always thought my want and desire to become a girl wasn't severe enough to be considered dysphoric, but this video proved me wrong. This video was extremely helpful, thank you! I feel sorry that you have so much student loan to pay off, hope you finish it soon!

"Imagine that you could never change it" My brain: no, bad, go to the corner, ew

im not trans, nor am i questioning, but this was still helpful in learning how to relate to my trans friends' struggles.

"Imagine you could never change it" I wanted to cry as she said that...

DAMN IT! How am I going to explain this to my family? I’m 14, they’re gonna think it’s a phase or something! Help!

I have felt that I am a girl ever since I was little and up until a few years ago I have suppressed the feeling deeply. When I was little I loved to dress up in girl clothing, I would play dress up with my sisters and I wore a dress, make-up, a wig, bra-inserts and high heels and I felt so happy at that time. It's been so long since I have felt the way I did when I was younger, I haven't been around many girls and I am certainly not allowed to wear girl clothing. It's been a few years now that the feelings of being a girl have come creeping back up and I don't want to fight it anymore, sometimes I cry and when I go to sleep I say to myself "if only I could wake up looking like a girl tomorrow, all of this dysphoria would go away" and of course that doesn't happen. My biggest fear about telling anyone that I am transgender is losing my dad as I'm his only child and he's always wanted a boy. I still look like a guy today, I am twenty-four years old and I am struggling with the idea of being a guy for the rest of my life, I know suicide isn't the answer but I feel stuck, trapped, I am suffocating in my own body, I want to leap out and express myself and I can't and I want to crawl into a hole and die. Why did God allow this to happen? (now I'm starting to cry). I'm sorry. I want to transition so badly but I don't know where to turn, how do I tell my parents and my friends, I don't want to not pass either and I know I am fairly masculine. I'm afraid that if I don't do something soon I am going to dig myself a hole and live there until my time is over. Please God, turn me into a girl, please!

I'm 6 weeks on hormones and out to all my friends, family and coworkers with my new name and pronoun. I found this video a couple of weeks ago and I rewatched it today. I'm very sure of my decision and don't really *need* to confirm it. But this video is so affirming and comforting, thank you!

Thank you so much! After watching part 1 & 2 it feels like a fog has been lifted and I actually laughed at myself because my doubts were so stupid! I am transgender and your videos have helped me more than any others. Thank you so much.

I love how calming her voice is

ive been questioning if i was a woman for a while now. this helps, thank you.

Walking through these things really helped me to identity my dysphoria. I now see I have mild dysphoria and it makes me feel better knowing for sure that I am trans.

3:36 "And by the way, feeling better at the conceptual change, just imagining this change, does mean that you have dysphoria, it's just less obvious." Oof. That kinda hit home right there.

I have this disphoria but sometimes I feel okay like I am fine with it. I don't know what I want.I am confused.

I have dysphoria but mainly about my face, body hair and being perceived as male by others.

I would prefer a different gender, but I'm fine with what i have. It doesn't feel wrong, but it's not all that great either. Oh well, being a guy is alright.

Thanks! I really appreciated how clear you were to understand, and how clear it was to follow your instructions

Alexis has been so great with me. She has been my therapist for several months now. She helped me get on HRT and has given me so much support in my transition. Thanks to her, I am now living and presenting as a full time girl. I am on top of the world. I had no idea it would be this good. I love it. Ill never go back to being a boy. It is such an amazing feeling to have the world look at you and treat you like a girl. This was the hardest decision of my life, but also the best decision that I ever made. I finally feel like myself. At 48 years old, I am so happy, free, and peaceful. I'm living a dream. Thank you, Alexis !

I kinda feel nostalgic when I found this video in my recommendation. I watched this video when I was younger when I was trying to figure myself out. Makes me really happy I figured it out and I hope other people feel the same

Yes , I'm a transexual woman in Canada ,I've fully transitioned many years ago , great Chan by the way 💖

I can’t wait to start my hormones and I needed to hear this!!! Thank u so much!!! Sooo detail and so much help! U are an angel! Stay blessed..!!

I could not have made it without you. You are not making a mistake if you ask Alexis for help. Whatever you decide do not go it alone.

I see my body as disgusting every time I wake up and also when I see the mirror I hate being perceived as the gender I was born with and I feel relief when I imagine being the opposite gender.

so happy that I found this video. It's definitely helped me to understand it abit better now. My mind is slowly coming to peace as I now know I don't have to be overwhelmed by gender dysphoria to be trans

Wow, I knew I had dysphoria but the 'imagine you could never change / imagine you had perfectly transitioned' exercise at the end was such a huge rollercoaster from despair to a warm comfortable place it really drove the point home to me. Even though it was clearly just a thought, it exacerbated and soothed things much greater than I had thought it might.

I have dysphoria with my face, hands and feet, and body hair

Thank you, so much, you cleared up a lot in my mind.

I so need to Transition someday, Lord willing?! This is killing me inside.

Thank you so much for your videos!

This video was incredibly helpful!! Thank you so much!

My height makes it obvious im transgender and I hate it

I just found out that I'm trans gender mtf and I'm currently on hormones and have blockers and I have not regretted this I keep to myself and it works so easily your videos have made me proud for who I am and make me feel happy

Literally answered my whole life questionings thank you soooo much

Very good videos. You have a promising future and will be a great asset to the community. Thank you for these. I will be sharing these w people that do have these concerns. I would be proud to have you on my therapy team. Don't worry about the ones that give you negative feedback, we already know they have issues;)

Yes! I am/have been for a long time Transgender! Unfortunately I haven’t been able to start Transitioning yet 😭 this truly sucks. I’m so Not happy in my current situation/body/life 😢Prayers appreciated. Thanks! I hope someday I’ll be able to be my True Authentic Self as Milena!!!

A lot depends on where you were raised. I realized I was trans around the time I started High School, but because I grew up in an EXTREMELY conservative, small, rural, southern town, I was too terrified to say anything and had to repress my identity for years just as a survival mechanism.

this cleared it up I go through stages of liking one thing to liking the next and sometimes it's weird but I have always had dysphoria and this made it clear but still no courage to tell my parents

Wow, I find myself smiling just hearing question number 2

This was genuinely helpful:)

These videos made me 100% certain that I'm a transwoman. Thank you!

This video gave me the courage to start hrt 6 months ago. I waited until I was 33 to start. I tried living according to society and was very depressed for a very long time. Since hrt I haven't had many sad days

I’m so glad I found this video

Huh I guess I am trans after all. It's really sad tho knowing I''ll have to go through this discomfort until I go to a more trans accepting country.

This has really really helped. Tysm!

this video just pops up on my suggested videos again brought me back a lot of memories. The first time I watched it is sometimes around the end of 2017. I still remembered I was crying a lot during that time almost every night, usually after laying on the bed. The struggle was real and big and the feeling of killing myself was just so loud in my head. Sighs... not so long after watching this video, about a month later I bought my very first hormones on Amazon, which didn't really work but was helpful w my mental health....sighs hope everyone here will find themselves what they need..

When my lawsuit comes through I'm going to send you some your videos are the best I've seen true in every sense you are an awesome person

Hi, I have watched parts 1 and 2 and I agree if I did not have gender dysphoria then I would not be viewing them. You suggest trying out hormones for a month or two at the end of part 2, and I am very interested in that. My fear has been of the blood clots that can happen. I saw a documentary about a transwomen in San Francisco - she suffered a pulmonary embolism and was rushed to the hospital. Thankfully she survived, but it was very scary to see that. I still want to try hormones, but the risks do scare me. Thank you for your excellent videos!

I have been dealing with feeling of being transgendered for realy all my life. I know at 17 that is not a relatively long time, but for me it has felt like an eternity. I cannot go a day without feeling that my life would be so much better if I was a woman. This makes me mad because there are so many people with worse lives than me, so why am I wining about mine. I feel like when I realy had a chance to be myself I let it go. Now I worry if i'll ever be happy or if I will be able to build up the strength to stand up for myself. I just do not know yet.

28, never even suspected it consciously until a few days ago. Now watched this and am crying at pretty much every single thing she says.

After watching both videos - part 1 and part 2 I can honestly say I meet the criteria to a tee. I knew I would deep down and was almost too afraid to watch this video. It is both a blessing to finally be able to answer this question that has plagued me for years and at the same time a curse to know. I didn't ask for this. Why can't I just be normal? Is there a drug that can reverse it or take it away?

I had no concept of the male gender till I was 12 when my family noticed that I only manifested female traits and used female words to describe myself. It was then that I was practically forced to identify as male. I accepted my fate to the degree that I was willing to acknowledge that I had male body parts but I couldn't understand (and still don't) why if I'm male that my male body parts is the only thing I had in common with other guys. As I grew older I never butched it up other than fighting back when I was bullied in grade school. (By the way I lost every fight. I hated fighting.) But I never learned to be really feminine either. My refuge was always my imagination. In it I lived free to do all the things I saw girls my age doing but was always excluded from. But in real life food and sleep was my only comfort (they were and still remain my coping mechanisms) Now mostly only food since I'm over weight and have sleep apnea and even food I need to find a substitute because of my weight but I don't know what? I entered into adulthood attracted to assertive females and married that type of woman as well. (I think my mom was gay but never came out the closet) I've always seen myself as the passive partner in the relationship and this has always caused me trouble because no straight woman regardless how assertive wants a delicate submisive man. The trouble is that not only was I passive and delicate but I didn't want to play the male role either. I didn't know that what I was was called transgender. All I knew was that I wanted to cook, clean, tend the house, be pregnant, breast feed my child and make my wife happy. Yes I always saw myself married to a woman. Some of my main celebrity crushes were Ellen Degeneres, Grace Jones,K. D. Lang , Sinead O'Connor, Tracy Chapman. Do you notice a pattern? Regardless of this I settled into married life (more than once) and once again retreated into my fantasy world to live the life I felt I ought to. While in the real world I let the world see me as a less than masculine somewhat effeminate man. I was and still am often hit upon by gay men. I politely decline their advances, secretly wishing it was a gay woman that hit on me. Just recently I pieced all this together and want to do something about it but lack the resources to do it let alone by myself because I know my wife will not be supportive. I know the path I must take but I fear it will take me the better part of five years and by then I feel I will just appear to be just another weird middle age man in his 50's trying to dress in drag. All I've ever wanted was to look in the mirror and see a female looking back and if I could experience that I think I would finally feel at ease. I would even dream about my penis falling off, so I know that playing dress up is not enough. I want a smooth hairless female body complete with all the curves and none of the male appendages. I don't mind growing old as a woman, in fact I prefer it. I have no fetishes or illusions of looking like a a young woman. Those days are past but I want to pass as a female. I don't want to shave any facial hair other than pluck my eyebrows. I don't want a broad square masculine face or features. I don't want to be obese either. I don't care if my breast remain an A cup so long as I have a svelte lean figure. I have an image of beautiful graceful older women that I would love to look like, Susan Sarandon, Wookie Mayer or Dianne Sawyer just to name a few. I can still live a productive accomplished life if I transition now but I fear my time is running out and I don't have the courage to strike out on my own and possibly hit rock bottom in order to be a strong independent woman. I've always leaned on the straight assertive women I've been with to define me since they saw me as the guy society expected me to be. So how do I reach out from under that and be bold enough to trail blaze my own path? It's almost ridiculous to consider because at the end of this journey what I hope to end up as is a refined, healthy, professional, gay female in her late mid years when all I am now is a poorly educated, morbidly obese barely passably straight male which is a construct which I allowed my self to become when it was never my desire or intention.

Alexis is still active, if you want to book a session, you can email Staff@thetransitionchannel.org

Going through part 1 and 2 everything made so much sense to me, Questions ticked all 7 made me look back through my life and it was all there I am transgender, so only question left when do I transition.. That might be the hardest thing to do in my life, but hey will be worth something to be true to self eh

big ooof - thank you. I'm in tears, at 36, overcoming years of struggle and repression

Thank you for the help!

Thanks for this video, it helps me gain some clarity. I'm much more open to the possibility. I didn't know you could have milder gender dysphoria and still be considered transgender. A big part of why I named my youtube channel and other personal online accounts this female name is because it puts me more at ease. It takes the edge off some of this discomfort and discontent with my current gender of being a man. Although I don't "Hate" my body, I feel it's simply just not for me! As such I do have a very difficult time looking at myself in the mirror, and I can't go on more than 15 consecutive minutes without fantasizing about being an attractive and tall woman. This has been happening more and more. My discontent is one reason why I've gotten interested in 3d modeling; I want to create a female alternative body that I can use in VR so I can express my desire to be a woman. When I see transgender rights attacked, especially reading sicking comments from Authoritarians wanting to been transgender surgery, this discontent with being male dramatically increases. Because an attack on today's transsexual's morphological rights can be an attack on my future rights. I'm much more open to the possibility that I am transgender, and after watching your second video I'm over 80% sure that I am transgender. I had no idea that you don't need to have extreme discomfort in order to have the condition considered gender dysphoria.

oh... oh gosh... these videos may have changed my life. thank you so much.

It's a long comment, but I really need help in understanding some stuff... I am sorta confused between what gender identity actually is, what does it actually mean to be feminine or masculine, and gender expression. Please correct me if I am wrong, but this is how I currently understand things... When you are born, you either have a penis or a vagina (NOTE: I am not considering intersex for simplicity...) And based on that you are addressed as a boy or a girl respectively. Now over years of human civilisation, we have culturally assigned roles to the two visible categories: ->Man - hunter, protector ->Woman - gatherer, mother And again over years, this categorisation has further assigned expectations of how a man and a woman are supposed to behave: ->Man - strong, confident, aggressive - masculine ->Woman - reserved, graceful, soft - feminine But then there are people who are born with a penis but possess characteristics that are traditionally feminine, thus being able associate themselves better with the idea of femininity that society has constructed - being mentally a female. Now being mentally a female, they would like to socialise more with other females, or indulge feminine activities, but being physically male, they are not exactly accepted, and are punished so that they would conform to being male. The only way they see they would be accepted for who they really are is if they physically too become a female. So they would now detest features that make them identify as a male - broad shoulders, defined muscles, facial hair, penis... and want feminine features. Having male features distances them from femininity, hence dysphoria. The above discussed was the idea I have about gender identity. And now gender expression... it's how a person present oneself to the world - how they dress up, how they walk and how they interact...? Acc. to a video online discussing gender expression, it was said that a man can be a man and wish to wear a skirt and put on make up. (!?) But isn't society restricting them to be how they want to be why they wanted to become physically female too? So basically gender expression being a consequence of gender identity...? I know I am wrong, but I am unable to wrap around the difference between gender identity and expression.

This does help. Thank you

I dont see me in the mirror at all. Its very simple.. and another AWESOME video.. :) Youre right on..Totally

I am a MtF transgender 13 year old. When I told my mom this, she said it was because of puberty and I am just going through a "phase." I've never been so hurt in my life, and I even cried when she said it. :'(

I've always kinda wondered what it would be like to be a sexy gamer girl. I don't entirely know if I wanna be trans, cuz being the bullied kid all my life I feel like that would make it worse, and looking at pictures of people who are trans (male to female), they aren't attractive at all, also I normally pee sitting down cause it was a sort of Learning curve for me and it helped me when I was young to poop. I've always kinda had a feminine touch to me, I like cross dressing, wearing makeup, painting my nails, but I have no problem with this body I'm currently in.

I'm a questioning trans girl. I have only really started to wonder if I was trans for the past few months. I have and enjoy using makeup, which gives me a sense of pride. However, I often feel like I'm not feminine enough to be trans. 70% of my friends are guys, and I am attracted mainly to girls. I also never really wear feminine clothes. I don't know if this is because I'm scared how I'll be perceived, or if it's because I just enjoy those more. I also feel rushed in figuring out if I'm trans, so if I am, I can start puberty blockers before I have irreversible masculine features, like an Adam's apple. I would love any help or guidance anyone could give me....thanks

Yes I am! But haven’t been able to start transitioning yet due to my financial situation and lack of a good support group/system.

I clicked on this video, and immediately felt like this woman knows me on a personal level or sum. Tbh being male sucks and I’m looking to transition through subliminals for the next few years, when I’m 16 and can move out and live by myself is when I’ll consider paying for surgery, it’s just too expensive and I don’t want to worry my family about that money, I can do it myself, but I also feel it would be too awkward, since I’ve denied being gay to my mum when she asked me. (I’m bisexual) and she know absolutely nothing about me wanting to transition. I do have gender dysphoria, I know I do. I’ve taken tests and whatnot, and I’ve even imagined my female counterpart, and what I’d want to look like. I have most of my future planned out.(besides a career obviously) Idk if there’s anything wrong with me, I’m 12 and for a few years I’ve had thoughts about becoming trans. Is it weird for me to think this at such an early age? Regardless, I’ve taken this video in, and it does help me understand my dysphoria better. 100%. Thank you for making this. Even though it was 6 years ago...

I've honestly never been too uncomfortable with my body, to be fair though, I've always been skinny and wimpy

i have been transgender most of my life everything about my body feels very wrong to me relationships with a woman as a man feels just wrong including sex i dont want to be male and i cant live that way i cover up my idenity and i keep to my self i took the gender test and scored 83 % female so i'm living a form of hell

Thank you!

taken me 20 years to accept and embrace my fem side. my male side still causes discomfort, but I think I have adapted to when I present male. I identify as bigender although more comfortable as my fem self.

I'm not comfortable with being male I have depression as if I felt empty in side and feel like I'm nobody till I'm sure what I'm ok with but my parents will not believe I'm trans and I need help

Wow, this is hard hitting, everything she says in part 1and part 2 hits home and hits hard..... now I am scared and I don’t know what to do now, this has tuned me inside out

I'm getting the help I need. the disphoria is going away but lots of challenges still lye ahead emotionally & physically

I really appreciate my boyfriend. It was hard for me to tell him, but he was so much morr than supportive. He calls me his girly and really makes me feel like a girl, and I dont even have girl clothes, make up or hormones yet! My parents knew before I even knew what transgender was, because i loved girly stuff(which doesnt mean youre trans btw) but they saw how happy being girly made me. I know that I am extremely fortunate, and i can never take that for granted. I know many people struggle in those ways, i even have a friend that does. Stay strong everyone.

Hello,I have just finished watching all the videos that you have posted to date.In the one,(Are you a cross dresser or are you trans), you stated that a trans person feels that they have a desire to dress to a point that they can no longer dress as male and go around in the gender that eases their disphoria.My question is,what happens when you are married and never told your spouse prior to your starting to transition,as I myself has,and am trying to keep everybody happy.I am finding it extremely difficult.I do have a support structure in place,Pyscologist,endo and trans councillors,plus a place to go out to when I need to.I have always felt different,supressed it and 3 years ago broke out and fell into a big heap and sort help.I have been on my meds for 2yrs now,love my boobs,love my smooth skin,paint my hands clear and my toes coloured,epilate my legs,I don't need to do my arms as they have slowed down,growth wise.My wife hates living with a trans husband,but due to financial constrants we live together.To make life bearable I live in male mode at home,from time to time go out dressed.Sure I get depressed but as it wasn't her fault I feel responsible to live whilst were under the same roof to present as male.I just live and take my meds each day. Regards Emily

Yes, this video brought more clarity. Thank you Transchannel.

"imagine you can't change it" *anxiety and almost cry*

thank you for this....

I had these feelings for a while and *luckily* my parents are great! I confessed and they support me and even accept my name change (Isaiah to Krista, ik normally it would be Isabel, but I have multiple fake personalities and I loved being Krista and responded to the name so I chose it instead) my friends also accept me, minus 1... still I was EXTREMELY lucky and I'm just so happy I was born into this family and chose the right friends.

I am a transgender , I feel that your statement about a transgender was for me . Your every word was for me I feel that my dear

I would one day like to be accepted in public as a female rather than a male. I would also one day like to accept my self as a female rather than a male. I think that your videos have pointed me in the right direction and I just want to say that you have changed my life completely and that I cant thank you enough.

I have been confused as to whether or not I really am transgender or not for a long time. I have been unhappy with my physical appearance for a while and constantly shave my body to keep both body and facial down as best I can. I feel like I act more feminine that a guy (especially in my area) ought to, and when I used to play pretend I would often be female ppl and I did use to play with girl toys once. I think I even owned a dress long ago. Overall though I am very confused about my life and whether or not I am transgender as a whole. I don't really know if I would be happy in the opposite sex, but I hope this video will at least educate me and answer some of my questions.

Does vaping low nicitine such as 3mg affect my development any if I'm on Estrogen injections?? Or does nicotine affect medroxyprogesterone development? I only see blood clot medical literature not anything on affecting these too medicine..

Very informative it comfirms all lot about myself

I had all of these. I have always HATED body hair, masculinity, all of it. I covered it up by being a gym rat and other means. I still have the WRONG genitals.

Also uh, I cried when you started to tell us to imagine our body differently

Thank you

Physically I am more masculine than feminine. Mentally I am more feminine than masculine - and I loathe the mismatch. It doesn't case me mental pain but when I deep imagine myself as a female, when I act out the female role, when I allow the female me to be dominant in my presentation, then I feel so much happier life has more meaning and my outlook is much brighter.

After watching you're mtf 1 and 2 it has opened my eyes a little. Iv prayed to wake up a girl and i tried on my moms underware . I also prefer female avatars in video games. But iv never played with girls toys or play dress up. at the same time iv awalys felt something was not quite rigth. So maybe im transgender of im not i dont know.

Please tell me, what is a "safe place" and how can I find one?!? ---thank you Renee

The more i educate myself the more im sure about labeling myself bigender recently. I get some dysphoria from the idea of looking strictly male. Yet it does not bother me in the slightest that others perceive me as male.

I watched both this one and the one for trans men and when I answered the questions for myself I felt my answers applied to both

And here I was thinking for the past 10 years I couldn't have dysphoria bc I don't hate my penis while simultaneously wishing I had a female body every single day

k well now im more knowledged an less conflicted thank you

I straight up got goosebumps watching this idk why

I have bad dysphoria as a male. It's both physical and social. However I don't know that I'd be content transitioning I feel that the only way I could truly be eased of dysphoria is if I were a cis female. I don't feel comfortable with she pronouns because if I don't transition physically ill never be able to pass as female. And so I'm stuck with a masculine body that I don't feel right in and no way to ease my dysphoria. I Identify as a demiguy btw. This video did help me to identify my dysphoria and ensure that was what I was actually feeling so thank you.

Well my maleness took another beating this week. Someone thought I need to wear daisy dukes. One of these days I'm pull off a shocker

I always feel better when I dress as the gender I identify with. Even if it's just around the house