So true as a guy that was friend zoned by a lot of women for a couple decades we are patient we will look for any opening...we will wait months years even. One way you can tell you've overstayed your welcome as our friend is when we start getting mad for random things its because of the lack of sex.
Plant you now. Dig you later. If I wasn't checkin for outta pocket pretty faces who wouldn't grind for a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of when we linked chances are you're only at me because you need something. When I go out of my way to do real ish in your life just off the strength expect to hold me down or solve a problem somewhere along the line. Preserve the fabric you're cut from.
Best to make up for it by staying for a week max. Cook and clean (as “payment”) and look for another place to move to. Let him know in advance. Have a backup plan to stay in a hostel or something if the arrangement does not last the week. Need to cover all bases.
The only exception I can see is if he's rich and has houses everywhere. Then it's just like yeah, you can stay there because i'm gonna be at one of my other houses.
My father taught me so much; 1) men don’t hang around nothing they don’t want, 2) sex is always on their minds, 3) rap is an option, 4) do not drink from your cup if you leave it to go dance, get a fresh cup, 5) if the man you just broke up with says he needs to speak with you, meet him in a restaurant, bar, or busy park, never at your home or his.
When I ran away from home in highschool my friend let me sleep at his house at night, but literally a couple minutes after his parents left he whipped it out...I thought he wanted to help me out cause he never tried anything before. smh, steve is def telling the truth! I just never understood how people can pretend for so long, when they truly have a motive...
And some are simply opportunists. They strike while the iron is hot. He may have set out with good intentions to help but when the opportunity presents itself, empty house, girl on his couch, both of his brains started thinking real quick!
It's neither good nor bad. It's in our nature. I have female friends who I can hang out with, in my car or at their place, for hours and hours into the early morning but they'll never stay at my house because they know what's up lol
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Steve you got it right and wrong. Men can be generous and do good deeds for women for the sake of God. I have helped women without even looking at their face and did not ask their name. I just saw they needed help and I did and moved on like she has never met me in her life
Helping someone and letting someone stay at your house rent free aren't even remotely the same. Having someone live in your house for nothing is essentially taking care of them. How many people are volunteering to take care of another person without getting something out of it?
Consider the crowd and the orientation of the questions he's asked. I can also predict what a dog's thinking when it hasn't been fed in a week, but does that make me a Dog whisperer?
There's no such thing as being an overprotective father who has daughters.. Boy u sound like a player... Steve been there done that, he a man.. He is telling the truth and nothing less.. Its not being overprotective...
Or he is calling out the fact that she WILL use him for as long as he will let her. She should offer to pay something, but she does NOT even think to mention it. She wants to USE him.
I recently lost weight. Have noticed a lot of people being nicer to me. Especially men. A few weeks ago, some guy ( stranger, didn't know him at all and I've never seen him before ) paid for some groceries that I had to put back, because I didn't have enough food stamps to pay for it all. Have me $8 and heading out the door. Yes I looked really good. But he also didn't stay to find out who I was or my number. Nothing. He was in front of me in the check out line. So it wasn't like he needed to. I have never had some random stranger pay for my groceries. I have noticed that guys are far nicer to me now that I have lost weight. Even friends and family are nicer to me now that I have lost weight. I am still the same nice, honest and politely respectful person I have always been. I wonder why my weight matters so so much to mostly everyone.
My sister was always the good looking one, and she reports that now that she is in her fifties and us less attractive people are less nice. You are not imagining it! ☺
Like women would just do stuff for you for free. I bet you anything if you were crash at a girlfriend's place for free, she would be asking for rent in a matter of weeks.
No one does anything for free. You think her girlfriends would just house her without asking for rent? Maybe for a little bit, but months later they will be asking for rent.
For me the deciding factor (and I believe the same goes for a lot of men), is am I physically attracted to her. If yes, then there will always be another motive. If no, then that means I really do see you as a bro.
I've done things for free for people wanting nothing in return. But in this situation I believe the guy had ulterior motives. Hope she's doing alright.
would you continuously spend time and money and resources for a female friend, that you never get to touch, meanwhile she's giving it to someone else for free?
WOW! Steve, I've just watched a lot of your short vids with tons of advice. You are goooood! Haven't made any comments till now. Really nice of you to make people understand how the whole game works. I bet all the guys watching now must be pissed off with you because you are sharing their secrets. It's a huge help. Thank you. 😉👍🏻
@@josephtutu391 the thing is you think that sex is going to happen when steve say men dont do anything for free maybe you can help us when something happen on the future is not about sex
Don't trust a single male friend who let's you stay for free in his home or his hotel... it's a trap. And they will do anything to get in your pants. Don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position, no matter what. Better to be safe than sorry.
Respectfully, don't be stupid again. They are USING you, and no kind of MAN even ASKS any woman for money. Ask your brothers and your father. Watch the look they will give you. Looks like this: :/
You're a friend so you get a friends treatment. Men ain't jumping up at the drop of a hat to give their friends rides. Ask any man if his friends are doing this and you'll hear a resounding no. You want to be just friends, then don't expect special treatment like you're more than friends.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 ehm... what exactly does that mean? no man asks women for money? WHY? then women should never ask men for money. I can't stand these double standarts. If you out of your gender role then I am going to also stay out of my gender role, you can do your heavy lifting yourself. You can change a tire yourself and you are paying your half on every date. so on and on. Which is it then?
I think it really determined by the length of the stay . I mean for me , if you are my friend idc if your a man or a woman , you can couch surf all you want for a week or two but extended stays mean you got to help around the house some what . Idc if its money or just doing dishes and cleaning up but if you are staying long term you got to help . That being said , family going through hard times i wont ask money from , just clean up after yourself and we are good .
I agree. Be respectful and sisterly. Keep communicating and offer to pay something to cover room and board until you find your own place. Maybe he paying it forward. Someone helped him so he is helping her get set up in a new place. L.A. is huge and expensive.
@@jerijz9825 Your idealism will take a turn one day! It's not about 'love', but a strong sexual libido esp men have that drives them to do these things! Your parents decide for you who you will spend your whole life with?? Shows your lack of maturity and lack of independent reasoning skills! It's one thing to ask your parents' opinion about someone you care deeply about, it's quite another to marry a complete stranger! That's how many women end up being abused and killed! Good looks, good resume, good job, respected family, etc do not guarantee a good, loving, faithful husband! It takes a lot of time to get to know someone! Men can be charming to the outsiders, and devils at home.. Either way, I wish you well!
Steve right he just looking for the right opportunity all men do this especially if you are fine my favourite line is you my first my last my everything lol...ladies just be careful on who you trust..
As a man, I disagree. If a friend needs a place to stay, you help them out. Having said that, if he's single, there's still a good chance that any female friendships is open to a potential relationship
Yeah, like its really a matter of the character of the guy. If she trusts him and hasnt been creeped out by him before then chances are shes safe physically. Then theres just the question of whether he will use the opportunity to try and make a move, and if he does all she then needs to do is have a backup plan like leaving and going to a hostel or something.
From man to man, you are a liar or simply disingenuous, you would never "help" an unattractive 50 year old overweight single mom with your time and money. But you would absolutely do it if she was a hot 20 year old.
sometimes girls "act" naive just to get the benefit from a "friend" once they dont need em anymore they cast him out, or say "we are just friends" im not saying she has to do anything with the guy, but she has to know it can get weird real quick by accepting the "rent free favor"
Actually no one does, nobody does something without receiving something in return. Whether it be sex, money, a favor, love or attention. We all expect something in return, whether we're aware of it or not.
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Ladies!! Ladies!! Ladies!!!! Stop fooling yourselves. If you are as hot as this fine young lady, then there is not such thing as "just friends." Her male friend definitely has other motives, without a doubt! If she wasn't so attractive then it's easy to be just friends and do stuff for free, but not when you are as gorgeous as she is!
***** I agree. More often than not that is the case. If at least one of them is heterosexual, then there is usually something that attracts that person to the other, and many times it leads to some form of sexual attraction.
And if so, women find a gorgeous man and do the same thing. Women are eyes in our heads too. But when it's friendship, men aren't all looking to score. Give men more credit than that.
***** I get your point, but let's be real; if they both are single, and she is very attractive (the guy knows this), he may not overtly seek to score, but one thing is sure: he definitely wouldn't mind it happening. I just consider this as sage advice to ladies.
Giovanni Vernon The whole premise though isn't giving room to the individual. Steve makes all men, sound like animals, this is sexist against men. Each man is his own person. There are women who think it would be good to score, there are a mix of people out there, each thinking their own thoughts. What if the man is very attractive? It can go both ways, and Steve doesn't seem to think it's possible for women to be thinking the same.
+Franklin Evans Um, possibly because not all women are prostitutes who exchange resources for sex. I won't speak for every woman, but I don't expect anything from anyone. If a man wants to voluntarily give me a favor, I'm not giving him sex in exchange.
Here is the litmus test: If we wouldn't do it for our closest guy friend(s) (in general we never give gifts of any sort) then why do you think he would do it for a girl "friend"? If you know this and still take it, you know exactly what you are doing.
I like the argument but I don't agree. As a man, I don't want that stigma attached to me. Why would you want to be seen or known as that guy that requires sex in exchange for favors? Certainly not me! We're already known for wanting sex a large portion of the time anyway so why make it to where women are skeptical to ask us for anything?
It doesn't need to be sex in this case, there's a limit to generosity and sooner or later couch surfing is gonna turn into a sexual relationship or a roommates deal to subsidize the price of you staying there (since odds are in this scenario the woman is eating out of his fridge.)
***** Of course male friends do, but if they are not offering a relationship to the woman, the sex never will happen. Women have a right to want what we want as well. That's is why they wait for an opening because they don't want to offer a relationship to get the sex. The men just want the sex. If the male friend is not willing to GIVE her what she wants, then he doesn't GET what he wants. Tit for tat is not robbery.
Ashbringer36 It doesn't need to be sex but it almost always is sex. That is why I don't ask men to do anything. I don't trade sex for favors. Sex is for committed relationships only.
I think he's definitely got it in his head that their relationship will get past just being "friends." She she is cold to him or dares dates other guys while she's staying there, best believe her welcome will come to an abrupt end.
Yes, that is definitely true that men do not do anything for free because I have experienced it when I was in my early 20's. Very little in this world is truly free. This was a former male friend who I went to to school with, we reconnected years after high school graduation in our hometown. I genuinely did reunite with him as a friend, however I started to figure out the signs that he had other intentions by wanting me to visit him in Los Angeles, he wanted to buy me an iPhone, a gift, go to Universal Studios and the beach, buy me a gift, offered to pay my trip to and from LA. I did not feel comfortable with those ideas, and definitely did not go visit him in Los Angeles and did not accept his other offerings because it that is a bit too much, and I knew that he started having feelings for me especially when he brought up these gifts and outings as his intention to get something in return from me by winning me over.
Exxxxxxxxactly thank you for clarifying again. Say it a little louder Uncle Steve. Invite me on the show let's hash this thing out in 2022 for us Ladies
Can't agree here Steve. It doesn't matter if she's been my friend since we were kids or if I just met her, or EVEN if it's a dude, as long as we get along great they can stay for free no strings! However I better not be doing the cleaning..someone's gonna be pushin that broom and mop and it aint gonna be me!
Steve’s right, this guy sees an opportunity to get you out to LA where you have no other friends, maybe no job and no apartment. What happens if he comes on to you and you don’t want that? You have nobody to run to and no place of your own. Wait until you save the money and go when you can afford an apartment and be independent.
she can stay with but she will have to split the rent with me....or at least cook OR clean....at least offered to help with something because if it was the other way around she would expect the same......and like I said...women wouldn't let woman stay with them free.....
Lmao "women wouldn't let women stay for free" yes we....would I would definitely let my friend who is in need stay but ya I agree she will also have to help in the house
I have to disagree with Steve Harvey, but then again I get his point in some cases. People actually do stuff for free. Their are plenty of volunteering jobs that people do willingly free out of the kindness of there hearts to help others in life. For example, Okay my mother gets free cab drivers to her cancer center weekly. Also, I've let plenty of friends live with me at my place for free in the past growing up when I was younger, when of coarse my mother and father split up and left me and my brother for dead in a house that was in the process of foreclosing.
Yeah I dont get why everyones acting as though the dude could only be looking to get something in return. If they are genuinely friends and have a decent relationship with each other then its most likely that hes doing it to help a friend out, because really how hard is it to let a friend sleep on your couch lmao. He might also be hoping that something happens but I'd say theres a very low chance it would be any creepier than him just making a move that she can refuse
Steve is right.... They want you to cook, clean( I mean really clean), dishes, laundry, vacuum, clean appliances the whole place. You're there for what he wants. Waiting on him and so much more.... "more", friends yeah.... Listen to Steve ladies.... "Listen to Steve."
