ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME - Finally ready to talk about this | Lydia Elise Millen 

I choose to not have children I know I would make an excellent parent based on the values that have been instilled in me by my grandmother and those I've garnered for myself. I too am also a godmother and the cool aunty. I have not regrets about living a child free life.

I totally agree with you. We take a test to be able to drive, but nothing to determine if we should or are ready to have and raise responsible human beings 🤦🏻‍♀️. I think some people don’t even consider ‘not wanting to have children’ as an option to consider. There are sooo many different ways to have impact on the life of a child.

Agreed. I made the decision not to have children early on in my life and I can say with assuredness I have NEVER regretted it. Best decision I've ever made. I'm in the entertainment business, I teach others and live with a sweet (and naughty) cat, and feel I'm exactly where I should be and incredibly fulfilled :)

She is not very self-aware

Its good to be aware of the non capacity to manage child rearing...

Her husband has said that he wants multiple kids though..

I agree I felt like she didn’t touch on this at all and kind of twisted the narrative to make her look better rather than actually addressing the root issue which was the main reason people were asking for statements/apologies.

Please do teach a class on how to build a successful brand with your own brand launch as the example. Would love to see how well you did.

@@sonnylovesfreddy340 I actually do have a successful business. Speaking from experience. It's very important to do market research on your target customer before launching a brand/business to avoid the risk of loss. I would recommend the Mom Test, it's a very good book on this topic.

@@leahdavidson4684 What is your business and what are your business metrics? From your comments it seems as if you have a lot of insight into Lydia's product launch and know her KPI's intimately. How much did Lydia actually lose in terms of revenue? How does her business compare to your business? I'm sure we, if not the entire internet, would benefit greatly from your stupendous success. Perhaps I would have seen you on CNBC, or the cover of the Inc. Magazine? If not, then surely on the cover of the Wall Street Journal?

@@sonnylovesfreddy340 Your comment is embarrassing. Anyone could tell Lydia’s brand (if you can call it that) was an absolute failure due to decisions she made. You didn’t have to be an insider to see that. Nobody has to own a business to spot a good business. It’s like saying to someone “how can you say that food tastes bad, you’re not a chef”.

@@user-ii4rq5ko3x Also, your analogy is garbage. If someone has direct experience with something like eating a dish they don't like, no...they don't have to be a chef to know they don't like it. They have first-person knowledge. You, on the other hand, who only knows what's rumor, conjecture, or third-party snide garbage does not have any direct knowledge and your opinion is worthless, uninformed, and irrelevant. Oh, and you're also a tad dim for having used the chef analogy in the first place.

best comment of the reality of having kids ever!

best best best comment.

I feel you… the only thing that bothers me is that it’s fear that’s limiting her from considering it. I hope she can push past the fear in order to really make a decision that’s right for her. I’ve spent a lot of time around elderly people who were dying and it’s a common regret you hear… they always wished that they hadn’t let fear or doubt limit them. Lydia if you choose to never have children- let it be a clear headed logical decision, and not be clouded by emotions- because emotions do dissipate.

Great message of total truth. So well said.

Fantastic comment, well thought and honest, other comments under this were level headed, I have never had children, and never have been maternal, again if you aren't sure don't commit, not fair on yourself or the child, xx

You guys make me realize my feeling terrified with becoming a mom for many years might actually have come from the relationship with my mom (that I didn’t know at the time was damaged at all)

Me too. I've always known...they kept saying you'll change your mind...I'm 39 and haven't changed my mind yet. Listen to your body, that's it. It's not that you're not whole if you don't have kids. I know that for sure.

@@MrVikingsandra same for me

Me too. I’m now 64 years old and still don’t regret it.

Same. 33 and no intention of having kids. I’ve always known.

@@MrVikingsandra it’s not for everyone, and there’s no shame in not wanting children, or of being afraid to have them. It doesn’t mean you hate children. People are way to judgmental on this subject. It’s sad that society makes women so afraid to openly say “I don’t want children.”

That is very understandable we are mothers for whole life,

Very true. I'm 40 and I don't know what I would do if I didn't talk to my mom at least once a day. I'll always need her input and words of encouragement. Cry on and laugh with. I'll always need my mom until the day I die. Being a mother is a life long commentment.

That’s so true! I‘m turning 21 soon and I value my parents input over anything else. I always consider their opinion and I still seek their help for so many things in my life. Being a mom doesn’t end the moment your child turns 18!

You already are-by speaking freely about your true and authentic feelings about having/not having children. Women have come a long way from the times when the response to being asked when not if you were having children was an uneasy smile and rapid change of subject. If there’s ever one single subject NOT to allow yourself to be pressured into, it’s having children and that includes a partner/husband. You can laugh about being pressured into a bad hairstyle (shaggy perm 😬), an unflattering outfit ( denim dungarees 🤢) or even following a certain musical artist (no comment 😜) but it’s difficult to laugh when you could potentially be ruining two lives.

It is still a taboo, chosing not to have kids. We chose not to, and are still met with comments, usually along the lines of "isn't that selfish?" And my reply is along the lines of no more selfish than choosing to have kids. But mostly I don't offer up the info, mainly because there are an increasing amount of people who can't have kids, and I feel like I'd be rubbing their face in it - of course there's no guarantee my husband and I could conceive if we were so inclined.

It is really insane for 'society' to pressure women into having children when domestic abuse is rampant all over this world, and statistically, having children lowers a person's satisfaction in the marriage while simultaneously making it more likely for the couple to stay in the relationship that they otherwise would have ended. And it is also mindblowingly insane to pressure women considering how rampant street and workplace harassment are (so having children means those children, particularly the girls amongst them, will grow up to deal with so much trauma and life threatening situations. So why pressure women into having children who will grow to deal with all of that? Really senseless, heartless, and selfish for anyone to pressure women into having children).

@@skywalker6648 -- Perhpas you're very young, because there is an international women's day, already. And really, regardless of the existence of such a day or not, change for the better can happen if 1) people consciously and actively continued to speak out against the injustices women and girls are dealing with; 2) by voting for genuinely progressive politicians and representatives so that policies that are helpful to women could be enacted; and 3) reminding males that they managed to have both of their arms, eyes, etc intact, is because some woman watched over him when he was most vulnerable (first 6 years of a Male's life is when he is most vulnerable, since he can hold a fork or a knife and stab his or some other child's eye with it, if a woman didn't make sure to take the knife or fork away from him, or he could go down the stairs and break his skull and leg if he didn't have someone, usually a woman, assisting him), so males are really sick and ungrateful whenever they try to abuse, disrespect a woman or a girl, since it is thanks to the gender of women that he didn't lose his eye, arm or leg when he was young; 4) To remind males that a man is fair, so just like a man doesn't accept for anyone to harass, bother or abuse him, then fairly, he shouldn't harass, bother or abuse others; 5) Force the progressive politicians and representatives to make sure that the police is helpful to women and girls who've been harmed by males (so many police officers are misogynist and so, they should be fired and never allowed to work for any police station).

@@skywalker6648 We already have a womans day.

Hello Hazel, how are you doing today?

Definitely not alone !

@@user-od8qw7ti8k thank you so much xx🤦🏻‍♀️

What a true comment, I could not have children, at first I was sad, but years later I agree with you, I think it's a cruel world and I am happy with my animals, I love them to bits, like I would a child.

I have a toddler. I hate commitment so having a pet (especially a dog) is absolutely terrifying. LOL😂😂😂

So you think giving birth to your child is the same as adopting? Why would u prefer that?

Totally agree. It is not looking great for this world right now. Climate change means that people will be suffering a lot more in the future. That means our children. I don’t want to bring a new child into this world that will see climate wars, food and water shortages, deadly weather hazards to name a few. The world will be a challenging place to live where a lot of people will be trying to migrate. It wouldnt be fair to bring a child into this, do Ive decided that one day I will adopt:)

ahu I think bringing a child into this world is 'your' choice, and something she doesn't want to do because of how the world is, adopting a child is giving a child a loving home that some other person didn't want to do, if no one adopted all the 'unwanted' or ' accidental ' children that are born, because their parents decided they didn't want them or couldn't raise them, what sort of life would they have, at least Claudia has chose that decision for her own reasons, it's the same as animals, some people breed them correctly, and some just do it just for the money, thank goodness there are shelters that can find them loving homes, it upsets me for either babies or animals that are unwanted.

Completely agree. I am I awe of people who decide to go for it. It is literally the biggest decision of your life and women pay most of the price should things go bad. Either with their careers, their financial security, and sometimes their lives.

Unfortunately, for small business owners, it costs more to have them produced over here and in Europe.

@@carinaadams6797 yeah which I completely understand however Lydia was hardly selling cheap products! I put small in inverted commas because as she mentioned herself in the video, Lydia already has a huge platform to sell products. It's hardly the same as someone starting a business out of their own bedroom from scratch. We see how wealthy Lydia is in her videos so I'm sure she could have manufactured in the UK should she have wanted to.

@@HelenMason463 That seems true. I’ve only just recently started following her and had to look up what the business was.

Do you still think it’s the best thing in the world?

That s such a smart comment - I was a very reluctant mom and I feel my being scarred by my own mom makes me watch out to not unconsciously damage my child

Most kids grow up and don’t even care about their parents so having kids because you don’t wanna be old and alone might not be a good reason to have kids.

No guarantee that the kids want to spend time with you when you get older either. So I agree with Carmen.

My advice, is to not have children if you do not want to. You can always volunteer in your community and offer to mentor teenagers or even become a foster parent later in life.

@@carmenpeguero580 I agree. I don't want children and I made a comment about it on another video once and someone replied saying 'but what about when you get old' and I was quite surprised by the question. I said that that isn't a reason to have kids and you shouldn't burden them with putting their lives on hold to look after you when you're old/ill. It's not right in my opinion.

That’s a very honest comment. I‘m now 44 years old and there was a time when I also thought that I need to have a Child. But then I realized it was because of society‘s pressure. Now I‘m absolutely Happy the way I live....

Same. The amount of haters who regularly watch/stalk her channel and jump on the opportunity to bash her when she has a faux pas and isn’t perfect is mind blowing. On top of that there are those who watch her religiously and when she doesn’t even do much more than the average lifestyle vlogger they’ll comment about how frivolous she is with her money or how they can’t relate to her content. It’s beyond any rational reasoning at this point. The people telling her she didn’t deserve her dog because she didn’t spend 5 full minutes on camera gushingly saying hello to her dog (who they say was imprisoned in the kitchen lol) the second she walked through the door on that same video was the point that solidified it for me: They border on insane.

👍

Absolutely!!

I’m 39 in a loving relationship but I just don’t know. It sucks we as women have a window of having kids and men can until theyre 100. The pressure I feel is UNREAL. I’m not ready, physically especially and it just stresses me out beyond belief. Do I want them? Can I even have them anymore? It’s all so much.

@@ashalex307 and @molly SAME! I just turned 40, and the bandwidth in my brain this question has taken up is exhausting. I just need another decade to decide.. :'(. Ultimately, I think it will be No, because if I don't feel a strong YES, then if there is any struggle (a healthy child is promised to no one let alone my own mental health, body, and generally how women are not always supported/general gendered inequality!) I don't think I'd cope with likely resentment that I just did it because of external pressures or doubts. I also love cats, so I'm happy with 'crazy cat lady' life for ever more. So that's reassuring for me ha

@@ashalex307 Hi. I really feel for you and the pressure you feel but please think about this: I would say there are more women who are not sure about having children than there are ones who are certain it’s what they want. I never ever felt maternal in the slightest bit. When my older sister had her children I was in my mid twenties and I thought our lives were over! I thought things will never be the same. Things weren’t the same. They were better. Life won’t stay the same forever. You won’t be a 37 year old for ever. I decided to have children ultimately because I knew that when I got to 50 then I wouldn’t have the same life I had at 30 anyway and it would be lovely to have a different focus in life and I wouldn’t want to feel regrets. When I had my children I felt totally different about them than I did about other peoples children. I loved them beyond all imagination. It was and is hard at times but life without kids is hard too sometimes. My advise would be to do it. Having had them and knowing how I felt about them before and after I would not have missed it for the world. They are your new family. It’s a whole new world with them. Treasure the memory of life without children and then dive into a new life with them. It’s a scary, exciting, rewarding experience. Wishing you all the best. ❤️

Hi Jennifer, I too am a fellow Social Worker in the US, and I totally agree with you. Lydia displayed such strength and honesty that just illustrates how truly lovely she is. I’ve been following both she and Ali since before they got engaged; I’ve admired their growth and successes. There will always be naysayers, as there has been since the beginning of time; but we all have our own issues that we are dealing with, which impacts our perspective on life. Her eloquence and honesty is so refreshing, and I also couldn’t be more proud!

Couldn’t have put it any better, so I’m not going to try 😂 Lydia looked so comfortable with herself and displayed how totally genuine she is as a person. That’s why I’m still here for her content-and will remain a subscriber of both Ali and Lydia”s.

You can change that by making sure you have a good relationship with your children from the word go. Parents can be selfish. Only have children if you want them but if you really do them cherish them, spend time with them. 🤗

I want children but do not have any yet. Children are the heritage of the Lord. He is the only one who can bless you with children

@@MinJi_Scarlett seriously...me too! I never usually get involved in comments because it is just inane blabber but for some reason today was different. I don't get the urge of someone to go to a channel and then crap all over it, it is pathetic. But I certainly do get the urge to want to tell those people to eff off. :)

Your use if the word terrified is so..encouraging that I'm terrified!

No, you are not. I was crazy about to having kids with man I loved so much! So, I gave birth to four, and I am so happy and satisfied with my life! Five years ago my daughter gave birth to her daughter and I am a grandmother, too! I wasn't worry about my life or body changing, nor about about responsibility. I knew everything will be as good as well! Not over thinking about babies! Having children is so naturaly and normally to me! 👶💟

@@JT-qd2sk because you are lucky to have that kind of family. Some of us have horrible toxic family members so it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

Am sorry to hear about your cat 🐈 I will keep my prayer with him

@@asmaali7123 That's a beautiful thing. Thank you x

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PREACH IT!!!!