Autism Differences in Girls on the Spectrum  

Another great video. I had alot of shame and trauma in childhood . Even adulthood I would say. This video touched on alot of similar experiences.

Hi Jenny ! Oh yes ! I internalised everything ! And I still do, I'm working on this, but it's really hard. As a child, I didn't think some clothes could be comfortable, I thought they were all itchy... The 80's too... I've heard that a female australian autistic psychologist is working on a female autism test, I hope she'll be able to spread it all over the world ! I'm still working on healing from CPTSD, undiagnosed autism as a child and teenager can be very damaging for the rest of our lives, even more to people who never get diagnosed, and I'm sure there are so many of them... I think the most difficult part for me was that I could know people around me quite well, because I was observing them a lot, but they never really got to know me, because of masking too well and internalising everything. This is a great video, Jenny, very profound ! Thank you ! Have a nice weekend and wonderful holliday !

Great video. Thanks Jenny! 😊

I find this really fascinating, because I am a man that was diagnosed at 43, and I believe I identify with this perspective quite a bit. I internalize most things, I work hard at social integration with self-conditioning (scripting, practicing facial expression, observing interactions, etc.), and I am deeply concerned about what I say and how it affects people. I never wanted to draw negative attention to myself so I employed a strategy of manufacturing reactions (laughing along at a joke I don't get, for example). I used my experiences with role playing games to better understand different character types, and to employ the most approachable (or exploitable) facade. My brother was part of my assessment and he told the doctor that I would put on an act in some cases. He's 13 years younger, so he saw right through me. Really interesting stuff!

As a guy (47xxy albeit), when you exhibit mostly female Autistic traits, I feel like you can forget about getting an official diagnosis. I tried to unmask with a Clinical Psychologist and she just couldn't understand it. When I initially saw her (before I self diagnosed) I was masking heavily (while being clinically depressed) and seemingly told her completely different things than what I actually felt. And then I suppose with her help in a round about way I self diagnosed as Autistic. I aced all the tests without trying (or studying lol), and she then thought that I was 'masking' to appear to be Autistic. She still said the common things like you can make eye contact; and I explained to her that while I could make eye contact, the chances of me retaining any of the information she told me were minimal as a result. While I can make eye contact, that didn't mean that I was focussed on what she was saying. If anything it made me feel uncomfortable and distracted, but after masking eye-contact for so long as a social-norm this was something I couldn't just drop. I also explained to her how I was very self aware of how I was sitting so as not to appear to be closed off etc. That I limited my stims to my toes inside my shoes - and that I even have to fit extra material inside the toe area of all my shoes otherwise I wear a hole strait through the top after less than a month typically. I actually did a subject at Uni on behavioral analysis (for customer interactions) and used most of what I learnt to mask my Autistic traits, unknowingly at the time because I knew that a lot of what I did didn't actually describe me properly, so I masked to fit in. Another Rant, I'd better stop now.

Hey Jenny, I am going to share an experience, I just had a few days ago. We were visiting my Mother-in-law, who is in a home now. Different people come to play music for the residents. This time, they had a fellow from Newfoundland, playing old Irish jigs. I couldn't sit still...it was jigging music! My husband, couldn't sit still either, and we were the only ones clapping and stomping our feet. Sometimes, it's a hard sell, for the old folks, who just had lunch. Anyway, this fellow was full of jokes and stories about Newfoundland , and wwas very entertaining. I, however, could nnot make eye contact him. What if he throws a joke my way? Horror!! I knew if I shut my eyes, and listened, I would be okay. So that's what I did. I felt odd doing it, but it helped me to enjoy the music, and not freak out, about making eye contact with this super friendly, and jovial person 😄💖🙏

I just wore whatever clothes were given to me as well. I don't mask a lot because I am a terrible actor. I do copy people and mimic their way of talking. I don't know if that falls under masking or not. I rarely do scripts unless I am having a big conflict with someone. I was diagnosed at age 47.

Hello Jenny. If you thought clothes in the '80's were "itchy" you should've grown up in the '50's & '60's! Horribly itchy wool coats, jackets, sweaters, etc. And crinoline slips that were worn under skirts, mostly for church, that were a mild form of torture for me. Does anyone who's not ancient even know what crinloine is? Lol. And school clothes, with rigid dress codes, were almost as bad. Shoes were often thick, heavy, hard leather---or were formal, tight, impractical high heels that I simply could not wear. Diagnosed at age 71---a lifetime of masking and feeling out of place and weird, and depression and anxiety and winding up hospitalized because of it when I was in my 20's. My love of nature and my passionate hobbies & interests are what got me through---along with one best friend who stuck by me all those growing-up years. I have a good therapist who is in my age group, but I am his only autistic adult female, and although I try not to, I even mask with him. It's so ingrained.