Autism in girls EXEC. FUNCTION 

As I watch more & more videos like this (and THANK YOU btw yours are great) I’m realizing that what would be REALLY curiously fascinating is seeing what life is like for a neurotypical person. Like....there’s people who DON’T feel like this??

I can't do new tasks unless I'm absolutely sure of what I'm doing. If someone tells me to do something I can't do it unless they tell me exactly what to do. Like my teacher told me to get a new book from the prep room and I really couldn't bring myself to it so I asked her to tell me which room it is , tell me to nock on the door and tell me what to say word by word because I couldn't do it otherwise. It's like a fear of the unknown and just being uncertain.

This is EXACTLY me. I just got offically diagnosed yesterday so it's very validating that these problems are just my autism. I used to think that sometimes my brain just just "dumb" and I would get worried I was slowly having my brain turn to mush.

Fire video dude 💚💚

anybody else felt like staring a mirror?

I literally took a demotion at work because I was constantly needing to use executive functioning and I was always soo exhausted. It was a huge relief not to have to use that all the time!

Have you ever blacked out while driving? Like brain shuts off when someone or thing triggers you

This explains almost my whole life.

I have finally decided to make myself laminated *memory cards* for showering, cooking (...everything really!) so that I can then just check the cards and not stress about, am I remembering all these steps! 🤍📝

I used to struggle to eat because there were too many steps. Even making a sandwich I would think I'd have to get up, get the plate out etc it felt too much

Listening to your videos makes me feel so valid. ; __ ; I haven't been diagnosed with ASD, but everything you're saying clicks with me. Especially the part about forgetting or getting lost in doing sometimes simple tasks like making tea. I'm 24 and really trying to learn how to cook more diverse, healthy meals rather than... basically spaghetti every night, but, no matter how hard I try, recipes that are listed as taking 45 mins often take me 2 - 3 hours. There's no 'whipping up dinner when I get home and relaxing', if I want to have lunch the next day I spend the entire night trying to make one thing (and often still messing it up. :/ )

I'm enamored by your descriptive ability, fond of your mannerisms. Your interfacing ability seems highly refined. Good stuff - next vid click lol.

Hi Charl. What is your concentration like? I was diagnosed twice with ADHD but I strongly suspect it's ASD. I didn't realise that EF was related to ASD too. I feel like I am autistic + EF/Concentration issues. I don't necessarily identify with ADHD outside of that, although it's clear that most people with ADHD seem to have a significant portion of ASD traits.

I am on the spectrum and struggle with background noise. It is hard for me to listen to someone talking to me if there are things going on around me and I also find that I need silence if I am drawing,also I noticed that i don’t know my own voice volume and not realise I may be speaking too loud.

Another great video! You've clearly explained exactly how executive function impacts my life as an Aspie. I've shared your video with my Occupational Therapists. You've explained it more clearly than I've been able to so far. This will really help me feel I've clearly communicated this to my OT team, which will help them, help me. So thanks for your help Charl!

this is the best video about EF in terms of it describing how i live with it.. that example about the cup of coffee,, yeah i get that

It was like listening to myself..

Hey charl I'm Danny and I'm autistic to very nice to meet you I love your autistic videos on RU-vid they are great and you are such an amazing person and you're videos on RU-vid have been great to watch and you have done absolutely amazing to I've just subscribed to you're RU-vid channel to keep up the great videos they are brilliant

I’m learning more about myself listening to you. Thank you so much for sharing.

Ive been searching for the reason why I hate cooking for like 5+ years. And why certain things bother me in the before, during and after process. Just wow, thank you for making this.

Hi, as you can tell from my name, I'm Robin. I was diagnosed with Autism as a kid, I'm 25 now (will be 26 in December) and they took me to get diagnosed because it was kinda obvious that something was "off" (I'm technically in the high functioning/Asperger's range, but I'm a little more "obvious" than many). I've found that I can hold onto information by storing it into long-term memory, which means I can remember a lot of useless things because I trained myself to do that. For example, I can remember a random grocery list my parents needed me to remember five years ago, Eggs, milk, butter, Chips Ahoy, hoagie rolls, bananas, 12 pack of Pepsi (it was on sale for $2.50 a case), potato chips. I only faintly remember actually being at the store with my parents that day and I needed to remember it just in case they'd drop me off with the money to get the items if we didn't have enough time to go to the other place we needed to go (I forget where). However, my ability to force myself to remember things may be a rare benefit to a problem I've had all my life. Something I wonder, as I can't find any answers, is if my problems with my saliva are a specific symptom of autism in me or just something unrelated. My entire live I have lacked an automatic swallowing reflex, so I have to actively remember to swallow my saliva and do it completely with thought on the action. I didn't realize as a kid that others have an automatic swallowing reflex until a doctor found out and diagnosed a swallowing disorder. I can swallow okay, I eat and drink just fine, but sometimes I forget to swallow before taking my first bite and I'm making this loud sloshing sound as I chew and I become self-conscious. It's especially obvious when I'm talking. I find that I sometimes accidentally gross people out without meaning to because I foam at the mouth severely much of the time. Sometimes I struggle to speak clearly and I have to repeat myself so people can understand or I realize that I have to swallow and do so. It sucks because I like to be friendly and walk up to random people and talk to them and luckily they often don't notice (or they're polite about it). Sorry if this was too much information, but it was something that came to mind.

I wanted to recommend an app here that i use, called AloeBud. It’s free and on the App Store. It gives you gentle reminders to do basic self care things, and you can set these reminders yourself. Definitely helps me with brushing my teeth, eating dinner, etc.

As an autistic, I struggle with following through with tasks as well, but it's not particularly that I forget things but rather there are a lot of things going on in my mind that I can't process. This usually happens when I'm at work or if I have a lot of things to take care on a particular day. Most of the time I get really stressed and worked up by it that I'll feel uneasy for either a day or more. But what I try to do to coup with it is either listening to music, walking, or running; in order to give my mind a rest and focus on something else. But anyway, thank you Charl for posting this video. How you share you own struggles with Autism really makes things more relatable and helpful for others on the spectrum. Keep up the good work.

thank you for this video, i found it really easy to understand and helpful! i have always struggled with all of these things! i didn't know it was called executive function, but now i do, so thank you! i am currently being assessed for autism at the age of 29. despite battling depression, anxiety and ocd since my teen years, it always felt like something different and fundamental was going on with me that i had been experiencing my whole life. it was like something wasn't making sense, and when i tried to describe it i couldn't even put it into words and i would get really emotional. there were so many different things i struggled with, and things other people would comment on, like my complete inability to concentrate as soon as i noticed a noise, and no one else would notices these noises until i pointed them out, but to me the noise was impossible to ignore. or certain tastes or smells making me upset or angry or giving me a headache or stomach ache or making me feel nauseous. being 'awkward' with textures or complaining about bright light that no one else even thought twice about. multiple things at the same time gets me worked up or confused and i lose track of everything, even if it's just doing simple tasks or trying to conduct a conversation whilst doing a task. i either do something or talk - i can't do both! i struggle to see people's intentions like when people are flirting with me or trying to manipulate me, and i just assume that because i always allow myself to be vulnerable with people that other people must be doing the same when they're actually being more duplicitous or subtle. and being the last to get the joke. and even though i make people laugh, i don't think i always understand why! i'm just happy people are laughing! also not to mention the fact that social situations are just not on my dream schedule at all. i am happy to not see anyone for weeks. i actually haven't left the house in over a week as i'm typing this... there are so many different things, i can't remember everything in one go and this is already turning into an essay. speaking of forgetting - forgetting to eat/stay hydrated/all those basic survival tasks! for all of my life up until recently, i didn't know that so many of the different struggles i was having were actually all traits of autism! and now it seems that i can string them all together into one big thing and it's not just a mixture of ways i feel like i can't function when others seem to be able to do these things naturally. and it is nice to just know that and relax. moving closer towards a diagnosis is helping me to understand myself and the way i work better than ever before. it's prompted me to do some research on autism and i am so glad i have. even if i'm not diagnosed, it's just good to do the research. additionally, the psychiatric consultant asked me about other autistic traits I have, such as musical and creative tendencies and abilities, and getting obsessively into things, and enjoying categorising said things. i also learned that sometimes people on the autistic spectrum will talk a lot, which i was definitely doing during that assessment, and am definitely doing now. :P anyway, it's been really helpful seeing on youtube/social media that there are so many other people who go through these experiences and are happy to put themselves out there and share their advice. i have found videos by some very smart, talented, kind, inclusive people and it just makes this experience of assessments so much more... relaxing! i overthink all the time and this has helped make learning about how life is with autism really accessible. thank you!

Charl - is it more helpful for you to have less stuff in your home space?? My daughter LOVES knick knacks and her special treasures.. but her bedroom becomes chaos and I feel stressed in there. . I want her to learn how to get her stuff in order on her own, but then I wonder if I am expecting too much from her? Should I not allow her to have so much stuff in her room? Would it benefit her to have less stimuli, or what are your thoughts??

What app do you use? Sorry if it’s in the comments. You and I both know the energy it would take to read through all them, unless hyper focus sets in!

I am exactly like this. thank you for talking about this.

I do get some of these myself. Like the distraction part, happens at the worst of times too. I even forget to lock my front door.

Perfect explanation with so many personal examples-this helped me understand myself and my daughter so much better!

Hi it's Ariana again I do deal with a lot of this and thought it was brain fog as well as an outcome of events in my life that have made me feel incompetent we're different. I was wondering where you are diagnosed in what age

Wow. Charl put words to what I go through all time, at home and at work. I do have to do what seems like actual serious deliberating and planning to get myself to do the typical day-to-day things like washing my hair or going outside to get the mail. It's important for me to sequence things efficiently and without outside interferences or distractions. At my job the people I work with will continually want to explain to me how they do things and what this does is interrupt the flow I'm TRYing to get into. When they keep talking to me I keep having to start over mentally with how I'm going to execute these tasks at hand. Honestly I've gotten to the point where I don't care to try to keep up socially, I just want to be able do my dang job! lol. BTW I'm a line cook.

What age were you diagnosed?

Thank you so much, I love your videos and calming vibe 💗✨🙏

I do think I have those issues, but idk to what degree

I even thought I am becoming dumb day by day! But it was my autism😅

So if you're just finding out about this, and resonate deeply with everything spoken about, what do you do? How do you get help?

These are my same problems!!!! I hope you make more videos

Wow you nailed it perfectly! Watching someone as beautiful and successful as you talk about things I have struggled with and beat myself up about my entire life is sooooo comforting and brings so much inner peace and acceptance. Thank you for sharing so selflessly and courageously so that others of our kind can benefit and feel less alone, you are such a hero to so many of us and I cannot stress just how amazing and wonderful you are! Xxxxxxxxx

Hmm a lot of big fancy words used here. I'm not sure if I have this particular issue.... I do struggle to remember when people ask me to do a list of things - by the time they get to the 3rd item on the list - I've already forgotten what the 1st one was. I put this down to the fact that I don't really want to be doing those tasks - i'm not invested in it and therefore my brain simply ignores it as being not important (comparatively to other things that are concerning me).

Yes, experience it all.

This describes me exactly. I feel like im autistic or have adhd or add or some form of these but my parents dont see it and i am struggling so much with it and its making make grades so crappy. I really need help.

Hi Charl! I am also 27 and aspie girl diagnosed two months ago. I've been following you and "The aspie world" since then. Also had trouble with masking but did not know even it had a name! My doctor said that I was a really good actress and could not believe I was autistic. So I'm learning a lot and wanna thank you for your work. Cheers from Spain! (Hope my English was good enough :) ).

This.

You are brilliant. Thank you for this. It’s novel information to me and explains so much. Subscribing to you.

Thank you so much for this video; it helps me understand myself and others better

During my teenage years I had a hard time getting ready to school (as a hostler) like I would just go back and forth atleast 10-20 times from my dorm to the common bathrooms while I was preparing to take bath because I used to forget things that are needed for me to take bath! And I used to take a loooot of time taking bath because I guess I had a tough time keeping a track of thoughts like in which order I need to clean my body parts and stuff like that( like I would be inside the bathroom for abt 45mins to 1hr and if I am washing was hai then more than 2hrs). And by the time I am ready for school I am already mentally exhausted! I have always been a late commer in my school while I was in a hostel. And I had been believing that I was a child who lazy and a problem causer. Now I am in my 20s and although I don't spend that much time "in" the bathroom, I do spend a lot of time in preparing to go to take a bath. And have a tough time organizing things. Eg: I have problem packing my bags for travelling, packing items while shifting. It took a lot of time and effort

I hear you. It was difficult at work, because if I was really focused and someone wanted something...it was hard for me to transition to really hearing them. My mind would literally go blank (and lead to some co-workers thinking I was stupid). I had no "initiative". I was fine if instructions were written down, but if they were said to me, it was like "in one ear and out the other." Planning for time issues...yes, time management has always been a big problem, too. Oddly enough, I never realized that I might be autistic until this year (at nearly 61!). So...am looking for all the info I can...and reading and watching videos has been releasing memories in me that are literally decades old...from childhood. Lots of tears...but truly? Happiness...because in all of your stories...I see myself....and I am NOT stupid or lacking...I am simply different. Thank you!!!

This hit home for me, I can do a fair amount but when it comes to cooking sometimes my wife asks me to cook a certain thing I don't know how to cook, and then she ends up taking over because I sit there thinking how I'm going to make it, or I start but it's not according to plan. I need to dig into this more.

I didn't realize that they had a term for someone that has what u just described or what a few other females that I just started following today on RU-vid discussed about autism. I'm beginning to really think that I might just very well b on the autism spectrum cuz I've been doing a lot of research since I my son's have been diagnosed w/it & I have a lot of the signs that of what a female who on the autism spectrum like urself that has been diagnosed. I actually believe that I might even have this trait.

Loving your videos charl as a dad of a now 20 year old son with autism your videos have helped so much 👍

Didn't know executive function meant all of those things...I struggle with pretty much everything you talked about!

Very insightful video Charl! I also struggle with some of the things you mention. I have days when I become so overwhelmed that it is very difficult to focus on specific tasks and execute them. Thank you for your honesty. I am looking forward to your next video! 👍 Emily

Thank you so much. Good video ;)

I love your channel! It's so good to get a perspective from a woman. Looking forward to more videos :)

You are so warm and friendly, feels like I’m chatting to a big sister when I watch your chatty videos 😊

Thank you so much for your videos, i am on the spectrum and i feel so good that there are other females like me out there

Love your videos 💕 I got a diagnosis 2 months ago, I told it only a few people who I trust but no one believes me. It feels even worse than before the diagnosis when no one had believed that I had problems.

this video is a validation IV.