This is like going up to someone who escaped the Twin Towers as they were under attack and saying "I had traumatic times during a terrorist situation too, a guy once yelled allah uh akbar at me!"
Ana makes the point that it was outrageous for that lady to “expose” Aziz while keeping her identity concealed, potentially ruining his career over nothing. I couldn’t agree more with Ana, and thats refreshing, it’s been months.
It should be illegal to accuse someone of a criminal offense from behind anonymity. In fact it should be part of the slander/libel laws that you can't accuse someone of a crime (at all) unless you file a police report and accuse them in front of a judge and jury, if it's outside the statute of limitations too bad!
Then the same law would shut him up. It's not right to be able to destroy careers like this. It's really a sign of how serious some (SOME SOME SOME) of these supposed assaults are that people are posting them on twitter and blogs instead of actually filing a police report
+Jae Jinn she os 23, working in a world of huge success , to go there ppl have to spend a lofetime, some ppl jist don't appreciate the hard work it takes to het into thay world, specially who didn't work hard for that
As a women who has been in many situations just like this, I completely agree with Ana. I am not a victim and neither is this “Grace”. She has tainted this important movement. It’s a shame. My heart goes out to Aziz.
No it doesn't, it just shows what a great part of it is: An often unjustifiable abuse of the individuals by media, bypassing jurisprudence in favor of going directly to punishment. Shame on the "movement". Use the legal ways.
Most of these metoo stories are either of these two categories: 1. Young woman making shit up for financial gain. (that's the deal with mr Ansari) 2. Old hag reminiscing an age-old "incident" because she's pissed of for not getting any attention from men anymore because she's old and ugly.
This girl sounds like a nut. He acted completely appropriately. She said no, he stopped. I'm super proud of this guy. She really thought he could read her mind??! You don't get to say me too. This is a slap in the face to real victims.
I'm gonna cut to the chase. I'm female and I'm listening to all of this. AZIZ DID NOT SEXUALLY HARASS THIS WOMAN. AND IT'S NOT FAIR TO HIM. THIS IS SO DISGUSTING WHEN WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY SEXUALLY HARASSED AND HAVE BEEN RAPED OR NEARLY RAPED. THIS IS NOT THE CASE HERE! AND THIS IS FROM SOMEONE WHO WAS HARASSED AND ALMOST RAPED!
The dudes not a mind reader. How would he know she wanted to have her hair played with to calm her when she avoided his advances the whole night? Ladies, WE ARE NOT TELEPATHS.
You don't have to be a mind reader, which is probably why it's best to ask your partner. No means no and yes mean yes. She could've been more forthright and said no emphatically and he couldn've been the same and waited for her to say yes emphatically. None of these things happened, which makes this ordeal very murky for me. I lean more toward her side, but I keep finding myself going back and forth.
I genuinely don't wanna go find a date cause I dont even know what's consensual or not. If "Hey, I think you're cute with those boots," is suddenly sexual harrassment, how am I supposed to converse woth women with an intention with a relationship or even a fun fling we can have together? I had more fun in high school before these SJW crazes and now I'm in college and it's just.. anxious to continue a conversation intended to flirt a little. Maybe I just need more time in my classes to know everyone, but shit man, this radical feminist wave is hard for men who are First/Second wave Feminists(like me) who actually are genuine about how they feel about women and their rights to their bodies and freedoms like men should. We're equals, as in we're humans. However, there is a strong social divide in "gender roles" in today's society that's needs to be countered with Progressive values. Because these people arent Progressive. They're Regressive.
Rape and Sexual assault is complex. If body language is repeatedly giving you indications that they are uncomfortable, then you should discontinue what you are doing. It's pretty easy to tell how a person feels before, during & after sex. With Aziz, it just seems like he didn't give a shit and thought he would get away with it....Just like everyone else in RapeyWood.
Blackbeard Thank, someone with sense. Not to mention she told him to slow down at several moments and he would shove his fingers in her mouth two minutes later and she details him chasing her around the kitchen for 30 minutes (things Ana conveniently left out). This situation is nuanced, but it's pretty clear he was acting in a sexually predatory way.
i guess she's never had any relatives die or have a cancer scare yet. if her name ever comes out to the public than i'll bet that day will top the one that she described 1 million fold. lol
She went on a date with him, then he paid, she chose to go back to his apartment. He make a move she shut him down. He stopped. No violence No assault No rape. Asis you are fine. This will not destroy his career.
Man: "I want to have sex." Feminist: "I don't want to have sex." Feminist: "Worst day of my life! It was practically rape! I didn't even get the kind of wine I wanted!"
This is beyond ridiculous, there is nothing that remotely assaulting in this situation. This is a non issue & the woman probably just an attention seeker. Made me wonder for the future that people need to make/sign contracts before dating someone.
i am grill You've hit the nail on the head. This chick sat down naked just next to the couch expecting him to play with her hair, rub her shoulders. She wanted sex, just to take it slow, and he didn't. That's not even mismatched intentions, it's mismatched expectations. As you say it's a bad sexual experience, not a forced sexual experience. And to ruin a guy's career over it is criminal.
It's like you planned a trip, took off work, bought the tickets, packed your bags, waited at the airport, boarded the plane, buckled your seat belt, and decided you didn't wanna go on the trip and the airline should've known and not let you book the flight...... ugh
This woman wanted him to romance her and he didn't. Since, she didn't have the date she imagined, she was disappointed, and her feelings were hurt. Sorry Grace, all dates are not like what's in those romance novels. If you want something, ask. If you don't want a sexual advance, reject it! It's not that hard; use your words! If you don't know how to speak your mind around a man, maybe you shouldn't be dating, yet.
i think you nailed it on the head. she wanted to be treated like a more important person than she was when aziz probably just wanted to nut. hence why she said "all guys are the same" because shes probably a super shallow person and the only men that are interested in her are men that wanna nut.
bob zimbobway Exactly! She had expectations in her mind that he didn't live up to. I just can't believe people are defending her nonsense as if he did something other than give her a disappointing experience.
Wow, this is frightening. I understand misreading people and everything, but she went for the kill without even talking it out with him. He was obviously concerned for her, and it seems like she didn't give him the chance. That settles it, I'm investing in Sex robots.
And I hope it is a kill. That bullshit made up "movement" has shown his true colors. If the super liberal dream boy Aziz is a victim of the crazy left, so much better. He did nothing wrong, besides apologizing for something he did't do. that was his mistake, and if it costs him his career, so be it.
everybody seems to be siding with him so i would imagine he will. still that does sound really embarrassing to go through. i suppose it could've been worse and she could've made up a story that would've been real sexual assault or rape if it had been true and then......
J Rangel I think it is. I'm a forensic doctor, and I deal on a daily basis with the unfortunate consequences of the unchecked power trips of many deranged individuals and organizations. Anzari is innocent by all accounts, yet this "movement" is so out of control that has exposed and condemned a clearly unharmful man to having to explain the inexplicable. It is a tactical moved used many times before by the same ideology, and in my opinion that turns this into a political matter too, not just a stupid and senseless character attack.
@something similar to the "do you still beat your wife" question when the person being asked has never beat his wife? i've seen fox news do this for many years now. once it's put out there......even if most people think the accuser is lying and are proven right, the accused still has that "he was accused of......" guy to have to live down. he's a celebrity and he wants to be known for his comedic abilities and not be known as the........
To all women DO NOT GO TO A GUY'S HOUSE!!!!!! If you do not want to have sex just end the date in a public place and go home and shit like this won't happen
Women also do have a right to be interested in exploring the possibility but then decide at a later point that they do not want to engage in sexual activity. If men cannot deal with that reality, they should not be dating at all.
Why would you think that after you shoot a guy down for sex, he's going to feel comfortable giving you a massage? Play with your hair? How does that make sense? You can't say sexual touching is not ok but intimate touching is? That's really weird mixed signals.
Another innocent woman accused = standard daily experience of half the world. For every innocent man accused there are 99 innocent women crucified. Damn they do damn they don't.
As a now nearly fifty year old adult woman who suffered through childhood Sexual Grooming and Molestation... and outright Sexual Assault as a young adult, it has taken me a lifetime to work on healing and it's still a work in progress. But I can say very clearly that while Aziz may have behaved in a way that was a bit dense Nothing, Absolutely Nothing he is described as doing qualifies as SEXUAL ASSAULT, it simply isn't. It may have been inappropriate of him to take one more crack at seeing if she was interested in having sex, but ultimately he was genuinely respectful of her saying NO... that is the simple truth. Do not blur the lines and blunt the razor edge of what real Sexual Assault is about, if a female (or male) says no and it still happens, that is Rape. This chick said no and no sex happened.
How is she looking to get paid if she's anonymous? That's a really stupid claim to make. Also, no one said this wouldn't happen at any point with this movement. As long as we can identify that's what's going on with this individual case, then nothing about the movement diminishes. It's still an extremely important movement.
He stopped as soon as she verbally said "no." She could have said that at any time, including before she undressed. This is a non-story and diminishes actual sexual assaults.
I actually have to applaud TYT on this very sensitive reporting on this subject. So many people love to strawman them and call them SJWs. This was a great segment.
Pretty much. TYT constantly get called crazy SJWS but in actuality they can be very reasonable in many subjects, Anna and Cenk specially. Even Sargon of Akkad had to admit recently in a video regarding the justice democrats fiasco. Anna in particular is not by any means a “crazy feminist”, in fact she is consistently fair and balanced and has often even defended men when she they were being unfairly maligned. But everyone is too committed to their side so they pretend they are just as bad as the craziest SJWs out there.
Madness Ends TYT now realizes that they cannot side with the over the end craziness of the Left. unlike how they were during the election up to a couple of months ago. TYT is slowly going more centrist.
Madness Ends they well and truly believe in social justice and push it as much as they can. They openly lie and mislead when talking about stories regarding black people and police in order to form an argument for social justice in favour of black people. They are, by definition, social justice warriors. Although in certain issues they can be reasonable and moderate, there are the odd few in which they fly off the sjw handle.
Cenk Uygur put it perfectly when he said "When you say no he puts on his clothes and he stops. If that guy is equally as guilty as the man who doesn't. Well then you've diminished what rape and sexual assault means and you've done great damage to the movement."
Dee’s World Lol He suggested they put on clothes after she said "i really dont want to do it," then after they were clothed on the couch he still tried to kiss her, put fingers down throat, and undo her pants. Please read the article before being a dumb bitch in my direction, please. Xp
She gave oral sex the second time AFTER she told him to "slow down" she never actually said NO. It's her prerogative of course to give him as much oral sex as she wanted, but it would definitely confuse a guy he's hearing slow down, and then she gives him oral sex again. He acted like a jerk here don't get me wrong but she also gave him incredibly mixed signals. When she finally him a hard and firm "I want to go home now" he called her a cab and let her go. A rapist wouldn't do that. In an actual sexual assault nothing she said would matter. I've been attacked. I said no 50 times it didn't mean anything.
Well, these things are a bit complicated. When I was young, I had reactions like that to guys. I blamed them for putting me in situations I didn't like and trying to touch me sexually while I was feeling off-balance. Most guys do tend to move faster than most women are comfortable with and being on the receiving end of that is a terrible feeling, really. Now that I have more life experience, I understand more about what's going on in these scenarios. It takes time and experience for women to overcome their childhood training that they have to be nice to everybody all the time and never hurt anyone's feelings. And for guys it take time and experience to understand that silence doesn't always equal consent. Hopefully, they gain the ability to read the subtler signals or if in doubt, ask outright. Both sides in this situation didn't communicate well enough, in my opinion.
What's even more disturbing is that she has clearly had time to reflect on this, and that he has apologized (more than once), and yet she still went ahead and did something she knows can destroy his career and his life. This story shouldn't be circulating the way it is, but at least people are calling it out for what it is.
Just like women say men need to be vocal and support victims of sexual assault in order to enact change, women need to support those men who are wrongly accused of sexual misconduct. Aziz did nothing wrong, if you don't want to hook up with him, don't go to his apartment, or just say no. Men cannot read minds and your "non verbal" cues. Allegations like these only set back the me too movement and distract us from helping real victims of sexual assault.
TYT misreported. After she said no and they got dressed he tried again to strip her. Then she left. That’s the issue. “While the TV played in the background, he kissed her again, stuck his fingers down her throat again, and moved to undo her pants. She turned away. She remembers “feeling in a different mindset at that point.”” it’s very clearly stated in the article.
Urgh, I hate this story. Really what are we, helpless girls unable to affirm ourselves? Is it to men to always guess how we feel? I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for her. Grow a backbone instead of calling yourself a victim because a man couldn't read your mind.
Omg... Ansari was a gentleman. He even sent txt message the day after AND apologized for misreading the situation. Whatttt? And this girl still went public with this? I hope SHE faces legal issues
Had the same thought, reminded me of a piece I saw on TV long ago about a couple who had a written document of when they have sex to when they clean the dishes.
Women wanted sexual freedom. Freedom comes with responsibility. If you have a right to say yes, you have the duty to say no when you feel so. We cannot have system where men have to read women's minds and interpret their non-verbal communication.
Swang Persona B leaving or not doesn't diminish another person's actions. "This is not murder, that person could have left the suspect's home at any time."
WAIT???? They left the bedroom naked, He sits on the couch, BUT she goes down to the floor in front of Him???????? And then Shes pissed He didnt play with Her hair? 100% team Aziz.
Bossy Tweed-I want to sue her! As a bonafide victim, I want to sue her for everything she has and everything she’ll ever have. Every one of us should sue her.
First off, I don't like Aziz. He's a shit comedian who doesn't make me laugh. That said, he didn't do anything wrong here. He followed the rules. He stopped when she said no. Ladies, No means No. Mumble Mumble does Not mean No. It doesn't necessarily mean yes either, but it doesn't mean no. You're a grown ass adult, use your big person words if you're uncomfortable. You're not going to hurt anyone's feelings if you're not up to it.
"The worst night of my life" - i think we solved it. This girl is just so incredibly privileged that spending a night with a guy who couldn't read minds was literally the worst experience of her life.
Of course. Shes 23 and living on her own in nyc? On a photographers salary? Thats some striaght up SATC/Girls shit where its totally unrealistic or her parents are floating her.
As a woman and a feminist this is absolutely atrocious behavior on the part of 'Grace'. You told him you weren't interested in sex, he stopped making advances on you, helped you get home, and the next morning apologized to you when you told him he made you uncomfortable. Non-verbal cues? Aziz Ansari is not a mind reader! As soon as you said no it was shut down. If you didn't say no before that's on you and that's the line where it is assault or not. Use your brain.
This woman sounds immature and emotionally unbalanced to me. If she considered it an assault against her just about him ordering the other wine, why didn't she leave then with her nonverbal cues and calling him simply a jerk in her head. Oh, and certainly not contacting him the following day. Her accusations are not only ridiculous but very unfair and more indicative of her own personal dysfunction.
- Well guys, now it's assault, if it doesn't measure up to her romantic visions, or your performance fails to please, (in retrospect, of course). You are now required to read her mind, or at least her "non-verbal" communications. You may be dealing the next day, (week/year/decade) with buyers remorse, and maybe arrest. Happy dating!
I've always had trouble understanding women totally sometimes. True story : I was dating this girl and one night we were making out for the first time on the couch watching a movie and I started moving my hands and she said no. So I turned around and started watching the movie. All of a sudden she pretty much attacked me passionately wich led to you know. I'll never understand women.
@wiseass, sometimes no's don't always mean no, they can mean try again later, try something different, or just a playful no and wanting you to continue.
Simon Winn yeah unfortunately. and sometimes no just means no. Since each woman is different (as ToBe Fair has said correctly) they also use 'no' in very different ways. Depending on situation, tone, person...
Girls please. Never expect a man to pick up on non-verbal cues EVER. My husband of 10 years, who knows me more than anyone else does, STILL cannot pick up on any of my non-verbal hints when i want him to. If you don't say no before it's too late, then it's your own fault!
this woman is Young and the epitome of privilege 1. You don't pair red wine with oysters you pair wine with your food that's why it was white 2. oysters are known aphrodisiac 3. living alone in New York City on an artist much less a photographer salary that's highly unlikely and unrealistic that's some sex in the city type of stuff or girls where her parents are floating her 4. if this was the worst out of your life you lived a very privileged and sheltered life
So, why would she have expected him to stroke her hair or rub her shoulders after she stopped his sexual advances, Thats what I cant understand @all. Surely he wouldnt have felt she wanted him to do that and she sounds like a bit of a flake anyway, sorry...
I get feeling uncomfortable in a situation. Everyone has felt that way, but we seriously need to stop pretending like women are helpless, impotent sheep who cannot verbalize their wishes. It pisses me off because it’s so demeaning, and then we drag the guy’s name through the mud. And by the way, Liam Neeson and Matt Damon both in essence spoke about the lack of nuance, the refusal to hear the other side, the witch hunt that the MeToo movement propogates and they received backlash. This is what happened with BLM where the initial core message about police violence was one many were on board with, but anyone who held any criticism was ostracized and the movement radicalized and turned even more people off.
She sounds like a high conflict person who uses passive aggressive language that hints at what she is going to smear you with later. She also seems outraged that she wasn't treated as she felt she should have been treated and people like that live for revenge.
Women are accountable for their actions, they aren't to be wrapped up in cotton wool and shielded from the world. If you wanted red wine then buy yourself a bottle of red wine. This woman is flat out neurotic. Aziz Ansari is not a mind reader, he is not to blame for how you feel about the interaction you had.
calvin624 Stories like this only serve to reinforce societal notions that women are weak and need protection. That writer should be ashamed of herself.
One thing I don’t get is why the woman desired and even expected him to comfort her afterward on the couch by massaging her back or playing with her hair.. Because if he had, she probably would’ve used that behavior to say he continued with sexual advances rather than he was comforting her... “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type scenario.
My response to Ana & Cenk: Oh, thank gawd. I was really thinking that the hysteria surrounding the fringes of the MeToo & TimesUp movement could have infected these too. I honestly have no sympathy for the woman beyond feeling she has emotional/psychological issues and needs to see a counselor. The "reporter" just fails the human test, and that's it.
TYT has common sense?? I challenge that notion but on this issue YES!!! They can at times be correct, i'm strictly centrist Libertarian and surely not a conservative but when Cenk captioned the "if I was conservative this story would have flipped" that's total nonsense! Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson's narrative pretty much fits this one.
I can't give that woman any sympathy. She actually participated in this "hook-up." She had no problem being naked with this man. Shit like that is fucking confusing. She just didn't know WTF she was doing or what she even wanted. *THAT AIN'T HIS FAULT!*
Sometimes an uncomfortable sexual encounter is no ones fault. If you can say something at the time and you don’t say anything it’s not the other person’s fault! Calling this sexual assault just trivializes what other women have gone through.
