I read a "charges" allegations or whatever and my facepalm is not strong enough. she expected Ansari to know by "non verbal" ques that she wasn't into his sexual advances.he didn't rape her or drug her or do anything,she just didn't dig him and finished the date disappointed.This is attention whoring in the extreme and I can only imagine would offend women who have been abused.
Randy H 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 this gurl just wanted attention! The next day she texted him and said she felt uncomfortable and he said he apologized and told her he didn’t read that from her at all. The chick is tripping! I agree 100% with this news anchor.
Connor Randall So walk the fuck out! He didn’t rape or moleste her! She never said NO! She allowed him to perform oral sex and continue foundling her. It was a date! Walk the fuck out! Nothing he does will affect her livelihood! She’s garnering attention and trying to destroy a whole movement!
You have to listen carefully what she said Peter. She said that a girl shouldn't ruin man's career, only because she had bad date with him. She is saying actually something kind to you guys.
Alpine Andy Really? So because you disagree with the original comment on this thread you call someone the N word??? You're a disgusting racist, bigoted piece of trash!
FINALLY. I'm extremely uncomfortable with anyone being able to point the finger and someone else loses their entire career without any due process. That is every bit as bad as sexual harassment.
Julia Belk because it’s no sexual assault. That’s why! It’s a lie she’s a liar for saying she was assaulted when she willing gave him a blow twice when she could have left. No where in her story did she state he forced or coerced her. Dumb ass comment
chewyfsu She didn't blow him. You don't even know the full incident She said "not tonight" when he tried to get her to hook up. She said "I don't want to feel forced". Both of those mean NO. They are synonyms for NO. She removed her hand from his crotch repeatedly after HE FORCED HER HAND. She walked away from him repeatedly and tried de-escalating the situation, but he kept going.
@James Chiofalo None of those are sexual assault or rape. And just like this lady said, she should have and easily could have left. Furthermore this is all alleged and there is no proof other than he said she said. Women are currently in a position to ruin a mans' life by simply naming him, without any proof. That is wrong and extremely dangerous.
THIS is a quality editorial. She is being honest, she is being frank, she isn't being overtly partisan on the matter, she is calling for responsibility. Mrs. Banfield, I hope you use this level of conviction to continue reporting in your career. Bravo!
Jagjit Sandhu It really does. It just paints women as bloodthirsty bitches who want to watch men burn in hell for the smallest of nothings. There are women out there who actually suffer everyday because of REAL sexual assault and harassment. It makes me sick how some people would be willing to destroy someone else’s career for their own personal gain...
It wasn't nothing. Aziz sounds like an asshole, but it wasn't Rape or abuse either. I can see how she'd be upset, but being upset isn't the same thing as having been raped.
@A86 It was nothing. Because if the date was so bad, why blow him? Why let him go down her? And why blow him again? She's a female, she knows that "non-verbal" cues are absolute bullshit. Yet, she didn't say anything until he texted her that night? The next morning? She's nuts.
N. Kreig No it's just that the Aziz incident was even a freaking crime. It was just a bad date and blew up the fucking pot when it came to bullshit accusations. Cause if this is the standard then everyone is a abuse survivor apparently. It's retarded.
I actually am not a fan of Aziz as an actor/comedian - however, I'm 100 percent on board with every single solitary word that came out of Banfield's mouth on his behalf. WELL DONE.
this is damage control. She doesn't give a damn about Aziz. just her movement. How about all the other innocent men where women ran to the media instead of the police. This movement is about a bunch of scorned vindictive women. Well scripted.
Ding Dong "How about all the other innocent men where women ran to the media instead of the police." -Eh, much of the harassment doesn't warrant police intervention. But it does warrant at the least disciplinary action. Unfortunately, there are a lot of highly documented reports of these guys actually getting those women fired or bullied out for merely trying to be left alone. The most obvious is Bill O'Reilly, where the company stood by him even as many millions of dollars were paid out in settlements. There isn't a thing in any of that which calls for police action, Ding Dong. And those women didn't even go public; the Times surfaced it. But what are you proposing? If some guy tried to pressure you to suck his dick, and then caused you so much trouble that your career ended, would you go along with your own position, that you should keep your mouth shut? I don't believe you would ever take that position, to be quiet, to not be allowed to talk only because some idiots on the Internet are criticizing you for opening your mouth.
After dinner, he invited her to go to his apartment, she must have taken that as a cue to do exciting crossword puzzles. Totally not expecting it could become sexual.
What I noticed is that usually goodlooking/hot/pretty/cute girls that are feminist have a better attitude about equality and arent bitter towards men.Average to Ugly girls that dont get flirted on by guys who they find attractive are bitter towards men and hate them with a burning passion.
You know what sucks, when I agreed with this person on face book even posted it I got people talking shit about me like I wasn't even there. I had a former friend take my words out of context screen capture it and have her friends just blast me on Facebook. I'm thinking now fuck feminism.
You all are so easily swayed. If I state a fact, or a true story, am I a bad person? That's all the girl did, tell a story. If Aziz comes out looking like jerk, then that's what he is, because that is truth. And the girl is not a judge, or a jury, or an executioner. The public is. The girl is only a witness to a true story. She told the truth. If people are uncomfortable about the truth, then ask yourself why, but don't say, "you should be ashamed because you told the truth."
She deserves to be called out on every word of her embarrassing interview. The fact that she chose to remain anonymous while attempting to publicly destroy a famous man's career says everything about how pathetic she knows she is.
Alfredo C You are exactly right!! I'm kind of upset that Bari Weiss isn't receiving the same credit for initially calling out "Grace" on her BS. Did you read the op-ed in the NYT? (15JAN18 if you're interested.) Please do if you haven't already. When "Grace" tried to make a big deal of the wine choice, I knew we were in for it. (Note: "Grace" never said whether he told her that was all he had. He probably offered to go get some and she refused that too, because she really does sound like a person who wouldn't want you to go out of your way for her. NOT!) Fascinating piece of fantasy fiction. She comes across as someone who's UPSET that she HASN'T been sexually assaulted. He knows who she is, and I hope he points her out to everyone he's with when/if he sees her in their circle. On the other hand, he's probably too much of a gentleman to do that. Whoo! Thanks for allowing me to unload Alfredo C. LOL!
No problem, Patricia. We're 100 on this. I did read the Times editorial. What I found especially hypocritical was the fact that she insisted Ansari either didn't get or ignored her "nonverbal cues" but at no time did she ever say she was going by his "nonverbal cues". He told her very directly what he wanted every step of the way. All she had to do was tell him what she wanted too. And when she finally did, he complied. The girl is clearly immature and not-too-bright. I'm glad the writer of the article is also facing a lot of well-deserved backlash too.
Hollywood is full of power hierarchies and vulnerable people(male and female,corey haim for instance) but so is most of the country.thats kind of what the me-too movement is about.
I am a survivor sexual assault and this girl makes others not take us serious. Aziz was annoying, yes, but he is not a rapist or sexual abuser by the descriptions in that Babe article. I hope his career will recover from this.
James Mathews: Same here. Ashleigh Banfield is a straight-up bad-ass. She was one of the FEW who spoke out against the U.S. going into Iraq. And she paid a penalty for that. But here we are, 15 years later, and everyone now realizes it was a mistake. Should have listened to her then. I hope folks will listen to her now.
Ashleigh stood up for Aziz. Hillary Clinton stood up for Al Franken. We need more strong prominent women to draw lines. Due process. Self-responsibility.
I agree with Ashleigh on this one. It sounds like an unpleasant sexual encounter. Aziz didn't force himself on her or lock the door and refused to let her leave. This is not a #metoo moment. Glad someone had the guts to say it.
"didn't force himself on her or lock the door and refused to let her leave" Hardly any of the guys who have been put on blast and lost their careers did anything remotely close to this. Louis CK lost his career for simply just asking for permission to jack off. Yes that's inappropriate because he was in a position of power relative to those girls but so is Aziz. If he gets a pass then so should Louis CK.
Idrissa Preval she probably didn't want to unfairly imply associate every woman who is really named Grace with the accuser that was using an admitted pseudonym.
The girl is just standing out to tell people how fake hollywood is. Aziz self proclaimed to be a feminist. Aziz pretend he is a supporter for the meetoo movement. That is like Trump saying he is not a racist. Stop supporting this douche bag.
KeyeGamer I see it as more of a courtesy than anything else. Also as Jessiethelookout stated, it could also be to draw attention to the fact that it's a pseudonym and the account is basically anonymous.
Saying "Use google" is the quickest way to have your point stomped into the ground and ignored. It is you that needs to be a damned adult and provide proof if requested, not send someone on a random meandering search.
go on reddit and ask a question that can be googled, people hate that. i'm not going to do your work for you. and youtube has a spam filter for most links. if you had half a brain youd know that. if you cant use google then i dont care. also im not here to convert anyone im stating my opinion. there is no point to be made thats a fact and saying its stomped into the ground made zero sense. don't type extra non sense for no reason. learn to be articulate
Yes, this was irresponsible journalism. If she were assaulted, why not go to the police? An anonymous accusation? Really? That's like throwing rocks and hiding your hands.
Wholeheartedly agree with her sentiments. There has to be a silver lining in all of this. These heap of allegations coming out aren't a bad thing, however we can't allow it to lead to a slippery slope such as this case. A female describes an unpleasant experience with Ansari, yet she still consents and engages in the sexual conduct - that isn't criminal nor unethical on Ansari's part. Trying to exploit this movement by framing yourself as a victim when you have an unfortunate encounter during a date doesn't help the movement.
That's just it - I don't think these young girls like "Grace" care about the movement at all. There is REAL power disparity between men and women that can be harmful, from workplace harassment to rape, it is REAL. And this movement is long past due. And then comes these dippy girls who want to join in the group hug, with basically stories about how "one time I dated a creep." NOT the same thing ladies. I'm older than "Grace," when I was that age, we knew how to say NO. Somewhere along the line, we stopped teaching girls how to take control of their own sexuality. We have a new cultural dynamic, VERY dangerous in my view, that thinks the way to solve sexual power inequities is to desexualize our culture. For one thing, look around the world at the desexualized cultures... It pushes sex into the home, a private and "dirty" thing, and the result is women turn over their sexuality to their husbands. Not helpful. If you want to empower women sexually, we need to build a sex positive culture, not criminalize normal sexual behavior until no one knows what the hell they are doing. And that's exactly what I see with this girl. She's 22, with the sexual maturity of a 13 year old getting finger-banged in the backseat of a Camaro. Jesus Christ, when are we going to admit that we are moving backward, not forward, with female empowerment? My mother taught me how to throw a drink in a man's face. With STYLE. Maybe we should get back to those basic, common sense tactics, and not expect men to be mind readers.
Guys don't sweat it. Most women would just roll their eyes with Ansari accuser. Self-important bitch crying for the whole planet to go nuclear on her regret purchase.
Mark Raymond Mark Raymond that’s not at all what it’s about. Both porn and Hollywood have their fair share of unsolicited sexual misconduct. People like that need to go And you’re sorely mistaken if you think both are the same. Why is it so hard for people like you to just view everyone as equals, as humans?
I care about the movement even though I was not raped or sexually harassed. I guess this movement is only for victims and people that continued after telling the perverts no? I mean how do you know if he did not get her hints or whatever. Maybe aziz does not really know how to be around a female but it’s all about controlling yourself. Idk y these women r discriminating against her tbh
Most rape occurs on a date for a reason. Aziz is obviously pressuring her to do something she don't want. It is unethical. Stop pretending the guy isn't being a total disrespectful jerk who think he can do anything just because he is famous.
Thank you for this clear and string response Ashley. What this anonymous woman did to Aziz Ansari is unconscionable and harmful to the Me Too Movement, which I also support. This woman should apologize to Aziz and retract her article about this date with Aziz.
No this women should be legally punished. No apology will EVER undone what she has done to this innocent mans career. The law should set an example by punishing this "Grace" so any women who feels like they can do the same thing that she did and get away with it will have second thoughts.
Accusations have already brought down numerous liberals. The world isn't just some big conspiracy designed to bring down everything you support. You seem to have quite a victimization complex, like some of these women.
Thank you! As the victim of the most horrific sexual assault anyone could ever imagine, hearing this story made my blood boil. How dare you! How dare you put a man, as badly behaved as he was, in the same group as the some of true monsters of this earth. What Aziz did wasn’t the best, I agree, but he, according to the evidence shown by the ‘victim’, whole heartedly apologised when he realised what he did and made it clear that she had been unclear. Considering having sex then changing your mind half way through because it’s a shitty lay is not rape, my darling, and I hope you never ever have to deal with the agony, humiliation and terror that rape causes and will haunt you will for the rest of your life.
fai365day I guess Aziz might have had a case of nice guy syndrome. But he still doesn’t deserve being called out publicly because a woman has a bad date with him.
I’m so relieved that many women are being rational with this whole Aziz situation. It was definitely blown out of proportion and many ladies on social media were just blindly siding with the accuser cause she’s a women.
Me too me too. I am also tired of opportunistic cryvirgins. It's one thing to hijack MeToo to avenge their bad casual sex experience, it is another to destroy the life's work of some prominent guy because you now feel he should've respected you more. To these cryvirgins I say, grow the F up. Aziz and Al Franken won't bite you if you slap them in public. Leave the MeToo TIMESUP to real victims who faced mega predators like Weinstein and Donald Trump. WE HAVE BIGGEST BEASTS TO FRY.
Da Boss2005 The woman sucked his dick twice then was surprised when he suggested sex. She took offence that he offered her white wine instead of an option of red (apparently this was a big part of the assault??). She didnt say shit about not wanting sex, she went back with him to his place and got naked. Her case was built on him not reading her "nonverbal cues" which involved sucking his dick twice. Women arent pathetic weak vulnerable morons, if you dont want something say it, if you dont wanna be somewhere, leave.
Same here, I was called insane on social media for sharing the same sentiments as this woman. It was disappointing to get jumped on by the mob in a FB post.
James Nail Your tantrum is so pathetic I don't even know what to say, all I can do is laugh hysterically. You seem like a safe person to be around. Seek help.
It’s a shame that this accuser got away by being anonymous while Aziz got punished, despite being proven innocent, by being cancelled. That’s unfair. Society is warped! Punish the innocent, reward the guilty! That’s the lesson
Perfect Jelly the victim here is Aziz. No assault or harassment occurred by her own description. What she had was ‘an unpleasant date’, not one with assault or harassment.
Danielle Johnson Hello, Danielle. How are you? Both your pic icon and your name are very beautiful. And yeah, I love it when the truth is said. Unfortunately, people don't want to hear the truth, but just want someone to agree with them, and I don't do crap like that.
Danielle Johnson Hey Danielle. It's great to meet you. I also want to wish you a Happy new year as well. I hope we can get to know each other sometime.
I still to this day do not understand why she chose to stay there for 4 hours after the moment she said she felt uncomfortable.... some people are just terrible at being human
Smells an awful lot like a setup. The photographer ("Grace") and the reporter (Katie Way) work for a company financed by Rupert Murdoch, who was lambasted on social media by Aziz Ansari. Had Ansari responded in anyway other than the way he did, it would have been taken as an admission to a crime that there is no evidence he committed.
Xeranx lol I know right the leftist machines head almost imploded when they realized one of they're lib puppets were accused damage control quickly ensued
Feminism is just about equal rights , by taking away the constitutional right of " innocent till proven guilty " from the whole male population and making legal to destroy the men jobs and reputation before a legal trial just by a anonymous acusation in twiter metoo movement , how can you guys be against that ? Its probably because you are sexists .
Dan D that’s not correct. The term you are looking for is Feminazi. Feminists just believe in equal rights for men and women e.g. equal pay. If you hear a woman/ or man who says they hate men or that women should have more rights than men then they are feminazis. Feminists don’t support the views of feminazis.
If was just hate towards men wouldnt be so bad , in our days is about taking away constitutional rights and enabling people lifes and jobs being destroyed before a legal trial , just by the act of a random anonymous acusation on twiter. This is not just hate anymore, this is terrorism .
Ill be straight up, and yes Im bringing race into it. The white woman, enjoys a privileged place in society right below white hetero men. Above people of color, man or woman. Above gays. Woman can be just as vile and destructive. The world isn't bad because of men, its bad because of people. Me too is a phenomenon but don't let it distract you that women destroy women.
Alex Clark-Thompson But this isn't even about whether or not her story is true or false. Everyone, including Ansari, seem to be in general agreement that this event occurred. The problem is she brought this story to the press in an apparent attempt to ruin Ansari's career, when- based on her own account- such a punishment would be unwarranted.
Kiara Palmer The sexual misconduct bit is a false accusation is it not? Acknowledging that this is the case is talking about false accusations and how 1) they can exist & 2) making sure we clearly define the boundaries so that what could have happened to Ansari stops happening to other people.
This wasn't a case of false accusations though. Everything pretty much happened the way she described it. This is more of a case of making a mountain out of a mole hill. Because she was upset by it, she felt the need to tell the world. She didn't take into consideration his feelings or how it could harm him professionally. That is the mistake she made.
faro0485 No shit, but a lot of you people in the comments act like this was directly from CNN -- that the reporter who was in the video works for CNN. All CNN did was turn it into a video for RU-vid, which is a good thing. A lot of the fools I'm seeing in the comments are acting like CNN is attempting to redeem itself by having one of their reporters di something like this when she's not even one of theirs. They act like CNN is the bane of their existence, but meanwhile, they'll suck Fox News dry. I don't like either, but at least I'm fair to both.
Think about it , watch anti feminist videos on youtube , watch who are the lunatics from the vagina cult that uses vagina hats on women march , search about historically famous false rape accusations , look who is on twitter right now asking for aziz head over a bad date ,search who were those feminists that wrote things like " i dont care if inoccent men go to jail over false acusations " all this have one thing in common , feminist sociopathy has a white woman face . Iam not saying you will never find a crazy narcisistic bipolar black or asian girl , but you have a better chance of finding sane women among black and asian .
I would like some numbers to back that up. I guess most of them are white just because this feminist shit is going on in the west, were the vast majority of people are white.
sure , numbers about race research and women sociopathic behaviours , its not like we live in a orwellian distopian politictal correct gynocentric era, where this kind of research would be prohibited as thought crime. There are no research about this for obvius reasons , but look for yourself, i gave some examples, there are more .
LOL IM OF ITALIAN DECENT AKA ROMAN DECENT ;))))) ( NOT ROMAN CATHOLIC ) ;) IM DEFENDING RIGHT AND WRONG , WHAT ARE YOUUUUUUUUU DOING.......? WELL THATS WRONG , NOT ALL MUSLIMS ARE ARABIC, YOU DO KNOW THAT RIGHT ? NOT ALL CHRISTIANS ARE WHITE ,YOU DO KNOW THAT RIGHT ? IF YOU KNOW THAT THEN ,THEN THINK ABOUT YOUR COMMENT ;))THE DIFFERENCE IN A ROMAN ...........I DONT GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT YOUR LIL DUMBASS COMMENTS;)))))))))AGAIN IM NOT ROMAN CATHOLIC OR MUSLIM ;)))))I COULD SHIT ON A MOSQUE, CHURCH ,OR JEWISH TEMPLE AND STILL LAUGH MY ASS OFF;)))))))) I KNOW YOU PROBABLY THINK THATS EVIL ? WELL DEFINE EVIL , YOUR DEVIL, SATAN, LUCIFER ..................IS MY BITCH....... GET IT ;))))))LOVE MARS THE GOD OF WAR ;))))
This has gone way too far, Ansari should demand an apology from her (which she can do anonymously through same source) or threaten legal action which will expose her.
You have no idea what Feminism means. It doesn't mean what you think it does. Feminism means death of the family. When it's said that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, what do you think the implications are? Charles Fourier coined the term in 1837 and said marriage was a prison for women. Imagine such a prison that women aren't finding themselves in, but men who try and marry face jail if they have children and can't afford child support. "Learn what Feminism means" indeed.
When she included being served white wine (at Ansari's place) then adding "I didn't have a choice" even though she's a red wine drinker. LOL She equates everything from there on with the wine thing. I'm not a conspiracy theorist but if someone wanted to put an end to this #metoo movement, this is a stellar way to do it.
l???? This was on HLN not CNN. And iff you think left wing idelogy has something to do with 'man hating' then you're no different than the flat-Earth movement. Grow up and learn a fucking thing about the political spectrum.
I was thinking that it was a little weird that she went straight to the media. That blue balls line was amazing hahaha. Amazing way to end her open letter.
This is brilliant!!! Thank you for this, absolutely smashed it - women calling rape over nothing mean it is a hell of a lot harder for real victims to be taken seriously.
That's a fair point about the lack of attention to men's issues but that does not discredit the problems women face, your example is also sort of shitty because testicular cancer is not caused by anyone - all devastating diseases deserve support in combating them. Your point on womens issues being taken seriously - the whole reason there is a 'me too' movement was because it isn't. There isn't enough institutional support in many industries where sexual harassment is intrinsic unfortunately. And in a world where the majority of power belongs to men, I think the issues men face are more than just a gender issue, it's more of a class issue - issues affecting men that are not addressed, are usually present in lower classes to those holding the power, hence the lack of movements. I'm sure if a movement emerged focusing on genuine issues men face, people would rally behind, we just need someone to light the spark.
It's not called naivety, it's called optimism love. And it's not masculinity that's shamed, it's the fact that men are called gay if they're even slightly feminine. And I had heard of the movement, although for the wrong reasons. The publicity that the MRA movement gets is from those who think a total dominance of men over women is appropriate, because they've had privilege for so long, equality or fairness feels like discrimination. Your comment on consent - i'm not bezzies with the accused so I don't who is telling the truth so that's not something I can comment on and i'm pretty sure you can't either.
Aww, women are standing up for due process now, are they? Is it because men have had enough and are going their own way in ever-increasing numbers? You can't put the genie back in the bottle. More and more men are waking up to the fact that dating, relationships and marriage, and yes even sex, aren't worth it. Women are a liability.
No. Because idiots like you still have no clue. Because real female victims who faced FAR MORE SERIOUS daily threats from O'Reilly Weinstein and Donald Trump in the workplace, whose livelihood are CONSTANTLY at stake, are fed up with a few dumb irresponsible princesses crying about their petty lousy date shit. GET IT, you self-pitying brat?
Well, just wait a few years. In a few years, those men will be dead, and the only men left will be totally uninterested in you women. Today's young men are the first generation of men to have woken up before getting burned by women. I'm actually not self-pitying. I have not been burned by women. But, I'm not arrogant enough to think myself immune. Previous generations of men woke up only after having been fucked over. Feminism is shit. Traditionalism is shit. Even the men's rights movement is shit, because its strategy is to give women everything they want while complaining about it and then expecting things to change. For us men, going our own way is the only answer. #BoycottWomen #ToxicFemininity #FemalePrivilege
There are many differences, but perhaps the most important one is that MGTOW don't initiate force (use violence), while feminists do. If you believed that feminism was bad, you should've done something before. It's too late now. More and more men have simply had enough. The men like Jordan Peterson, whom the mainstream media are now wheeling out, are the generation that could have been bargained with. It's a desperate attempt to divert from MGTOW.
Absolutely spot on. Would women prefer men make no advances? Should there be written consent with understood details written in like a contract just in case? Just say you don't want sex at the beginning.
It's ironic feminists keep pushing "female is strong too" agenda, but they cant even say a clear "no" in this kind of situation. After reading her story, i cant believe she actually expected him to understand her body language (while spreading her legs 😂)
Every encounter or pass by a man, or even sexual activity is not a rape. Do we really want a country where a sex contract is required for sex? Banfield is speaking well to this issue and to responsibility of both men and women. Women are not always the victim. As in the Aziz case sometime they are clearly the predator.
CNN has ALWAYS been fantastic. You have just been deceived and lied to be a President and movement whom wish to undermine and silence their critics. This video is proof enough, and I bet if you watched more you would understand the American Right’s obsession with totalitarian rhetoric
I actually lost my job for complimenting a customer... it wasn’t a sexual compliment, it was regarding her woman cave. I do home deliveries, used to, and it’s not uncommon to compliment the customer’s home. She took it as a gross misinterpretation of her single status and her own mother’s status... on top of that, she said she felt unsafe AFTER the delivery was completed. Had I complimented a guy on his man cave he would have laughed and said thanks. This just happened on the first week of 2018. I never denied what I said to my employer and I also stated she has the right to feel offended but that letting me go when I’m still innocent (she never filed the harassment charges she described in her email) reflects poorly on the company’s moral obligation to their employees. Never touched her, never flirted, and never put her in any danger. It was all in her head. Meanwhile I’ve had hundreds of awful experiences with similar customers yearly and I never personally filed a complaint or pressed charges. From my own experience, the women I have dated are oblivious to the struggle first/second wave feminists faced. They only embrace the rotten behavior of weak men and are incapable of showing accountability like real men- in relationships, workplace and public. Seems like this movement is willing to sacrifice their own gender while simultaneously degrading humanity. “I want your ugly, I want your disease [...] as long as it’s free.” -Lady Gaga I’m not just quoting a song, it’s seems to be reflecting the very same toxic lifestyle you see on social media- you know the digital extension of people’s souls... who needs augmented reality when people live through their digital persona?
V IE A similar thing happened to me. I hug everyone, especially if I see them as family. I saw these two coworkers as family (sisters) and hugged them repeatedly. I didn't hear or see any sign they disliked it since we always got along well and I asked one in particular if I could call her "Sister" in her foreign language. She said yes. Next step up is hugging of course, right? Come some time later I'm slapped with a warning that I'm sexually harassing her and flirting with her, making the workplace toxic. They told me I shouldn't say innuendo, touch inappropriately, grope, sexually proposition, comment on her looks, demean her based on her sex, and I state I never did any of those things. I only hugged her and patted her head. Eventually things blow over as it comes out that I'm just a friendly person. We're cool with each other now, but those months until then were emotionally distressing to me. Again, at no point in time was I informed by them (practising their agency) that they were uncomfortable with me. And then they just report me for harassment wtf. It's fucked up how I do the same with one other women and she LOVES being my older sister at work. Or another who thinks I'm an adorable son. These were the ones not born or raised in Canada.
ReasonX X - this is very true and one of the possible repercussions of the movement. Sure, we get rid of the creeps (which is great), but I'm afraid we may move too far to the point where 1) women are less likely to be hired because of the concerns around sexual misconduct, or 2) interactions between genders in the workplace are stifled, including happy hours, weekend co-worker hangouts, etc.
I was afraid at some point some messed up person would take advantage of the movement and try to bring others down and tarnish the #MeToo movement as well as wrongfully accusing someone of sexual assault/harassment. Clearly she needs to look up the definition. I agree, this reporter killed it. If you're not a victim, don't pretend you are for the attention - it makes those who are true victims seem small when they should be heard for the real events and should not be looked at as a "joke" or undermined like it has been before the movement.
BRAVA! L'affaire Ansari (le non-affaire?) has disturbed me a great deal--some of my feminist girlfriends and I, all of us veterans of the very things #MeToo has been calling attention to and fighting; all of us a fair bit older than Ansari's anonymous accuser--have been discussing this offline. And we are grateful that Ashleigh Banfield went on the air and essentially spoke for us. Rape is rape. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. But the "Grace"-Ansari hookup was a case of two people who did not know each other long enough--they'd exchanged what, one week of texts, not even spoken face-to-face after the initial meeting at a party?--to be able to read one another's nonverbal cues. A case of two people who were, for all intents and purposes, going to dinner, drinking wine (ahem) and then hooking up that very night. I'm not passing judgement on women or men who have sex on a first date, or sex despite no date at all; rather, I'm saying, if you *do* go up to a man's (or woman's) apartment after only meeting in person once and having communicated with him or her through a few texts over a week, you have very little mutual trust, respect, or history together on which to build things. So the sex will be completely free of all that, as well as devoid of the kind of cue-reading, sentence-finishing familiarity that a couple develops after getting to know each other. It might be surprisingly hot and fun! Or it might be disappointing and weird and not what you expected. Men and women alike can feel "used" afterwards. Or not. What it isn't is rape, or assault. Ansari's accuser is upset that he did not read her nonverbal cues. But what about *his* cues to her? When a date is over, and the person invites you up for "a nightcap" (we used to joke "hey, would you like to come up and see my etchings?", which really shows my age, but I digress)--what about *those* cues? He was nonverbally saying to her, I'd like to have sex with you. DUH. We "older" feminists have worked too long, and dealt with far too much sh*t, to have an important culture-shifting movement like #MeToo derailed by this disingenuous kind of stuff. We believe women have agency, and that this young woman, "Grace" had agency, too.
Absolutely. A close male friend of mine was in a similar situation and lost friends over it. I'm mad that she claimed assault when she could've said no, got up, etc. She says she was blacked out (so easy to claim that) but she was comprehensible and was able to talk to friends, even call for an Uber if she wanted to. (Oh and of course she hasn't reported it to authorities...)
It still does not address all the young men who have been victims of sexual harassment from women in the workplace. I have suffered from harassing middle-aged women. Bum pinching. All the women in my workplace came to my desk to ask how large my organ was. Opening the washroom door, so I had to cover myself and was afraid to use the washroom. But I am not allowed to speak, because I am a man. Why can't we hear about male victims? That is the feminist version of equality.
True, but I already know. Men are told that they are "lucky" to get sexual attention from women and that they should be receptive to it whether they like it or not. Otherwise, they are called gay. We do not teach boys to respect themselves and demand respect from women. Because of that, any statistics would grossly understate the number of male victims.
Amelia_James don't compare between the two. Harvey Weinstein ruined and a lot of women's career than Aziz Ansari. What Ashleigh Banfield said it's all true.
Amelia_James I know. I am annoyed that one bad date ruined Aziz Ansari’s career and that it overshadowed Eliza Dushku’s sexual abuse claim. Link as proof: www.washingtonpost.com/news/act-four/wp/2018/01/15/babes-aziz-ansari-piece-was-a-gift-to-anyone-who-wants-to-derail-metoo/?.a6fb59525207 I really hope Babe.net must be proud of themselves to overshadow Eliza Duskhu’s sexual abuse claim.
