Before It Gets Too Far - WATCH THIS | by Jay Shetty 

"Being alone may scare you but being in a bad relationship will scar you." We should never forget this.

"Sometimes we want to be loved so badly that we can't even tell it's not love." LOVE YOURSELF MORE.

‘’You don’t let go of a bad relationship because you stop caring about them, you let go because you started caring about yourself’’. - This guy is truly remarkable.

There is a very misunderstanding between Love & Possession... Love says, " Let's be happy *together* " Possession says, " MAKE *ME* HAPPY " Love gives. Possession takes.

This video hits so close to home. I escaped a relationship where there was every abuse possible. I thought he was the ‘love of my life’. He was in reality the ‘nightmare of my life’. The physical abuse has healed but the psychological abuse is something I don’t think I’ll ever totally recover from. I’m not me anymore, I miss the old me that was happy, carefree and trusting 😞

It's tough to decide whether to stay or to leave . We keep giving chances or take chances . SOMETIMES IT'S SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES IT'S FRUSTRATING.

Dam this hit me hard I was the one who treated my ex really badly called her down said mean things did mean things, but I’ve never hit her at all but I hurt her emotionally and that is right “it’s better to break your own heart then be with someone who will do it everyday”I learned the hard way so if men right now are treating there wife gfs badly she will realize that you are never gonna change, and there are better men out there and if she wears makeup or puts on a nice outfit tell her how beautiful she is cause at the end of the night she’s gonna be coming home to you. I hope my ex gf will find someone 1000 times more better then me and I know she will. So real men out there treat your beautiful wife , beautiful girlfriend a lot better before it’s to late.

"There are wounds that never appear on the body that hurt more than anything that bleeds" That hit me.

Reminds me so much of my ex. Makes me so emotional. Four years of emotional abused, lead me to depression and anxiety disorder now. While there is time, please don't let anyone abuse you emotionally or physically. Please that person don't deserve you at all.

It's better to break ur own heart by leaving rather than have someone else break ur heart every day while you stay with them👌

Being alone may scare you but being in a bad relationship will scar you.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

This is why I CHOOSE to be alone and it's not scary at all. Liberating 👍

Emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse

Powerful message! Sometimes by the time you realize you’re in an abusive relationship you feel like that person needs your love, so you stay hoping to help them. This is not a good thing, ever! The love that matters most is the love we show ourselves ❤️

Well Jay, my life has a part of emotional abuse. My husband sometimes gets out of his control and lashes out on me. I have slowly started developing thick skin abd their was a certain point where i could close my ears and he was unheard. Then came one point where he was diagnosed with 'Bipolar disorder'. That changed my perspective completely. I slowly started understanding him, and the change worked. His rage side is getting cured without medications. He is not as abusive as i was seeing him. He slowly started enjoying small things and enjoying the life. It was last week i saw him getting wet in the rain with my son ☺ The best part, he accepted that he has Bipolar. But the question still remains, was i the victim or him?

I was fully depressed from my life...Looking at your videos I m inspired..💘💘.I started to love my life...Thank u sir💕💕💕

The hard part when u had been in that condition was you keep telling your mind that it's ok...it will be okay...only to survive another day. And it was really hard to cut yourself out of the relationship because the other person just dont care of how ur heart was torched or how much damage he had made. It wasn't a pleasing journey for me, but Jay is right, it's not love. And you just gotta have the courage to start loving urself more and leave the situation.

You're right. I refuse to look back on the past 8 years. Some of the experiences were the darkest of my days. I have no idea how it has probably changed me. Just yesterday I had our car kicked, I was kicked, repeatedly sworn at and called an f ing idiot, useless, loser and had my hair pulled repeatedly because I did not answer her phone for more than 5 mins whilst I was driving home. She needed the car for work and I told her I would be back in half an hr. I forgot to pair up the bluetooth so I couldn't answer the phone (didn't want to risk getting caught by the police holding a phone). I was literally around the corner from home... She always blames me for her hitting me and using very inappropriate language to describe me. If I was really a loser or such a bad husband, I'm sure she would have left. Once she cools down she becomes loving again. An AVO, psychologist and courts haven't been able to convince her that her expression of anger is so destructive. It is so embarrassing and I have to be very careful as she has put our son into the middle of this before and also tried to stop me going to work on my night shifts. It is hard and I can tell you that I have been through some very difficult moments. We have been planning to go to Europe together. Last year the courts etc upset her so she went overseas again without me. I have been waiting 10 years to travel with her overseas as she always goes with friends instead. Even now she is threatening me and so I won't get excited or try to plan anything because she hold it over my head with threats of going without me. It's sad because in a normal relationship, the couple would be getting excited about seeing Europe for the first time. But instead I am refusing to get my hopes up. Last year she disappointed me because she had promised to travel to Tibet with me at the start of our relationship. She was so angry that she just went with a friend instead. During our first year of marriage she went with her friend back to China and refused to wait for me to get the time off work. Some things just don't change.

Love everything about your videos sir, it touches every aspects of life....

Better to be alone than live like that. It will destroy you

Why is it that men are always shown as the abusive ones? It happens the other way round too.

...covert narcisit... They are the most difficult to figure out. Controlling in a pretence of "I want what's best for you, I appreciate what you have to say but BUT, this is the way it's do e best" (patronising you)...."how dare you didn't ask (refused) my help" = translation "I'm not good enough for you?" Some of them are not jealous because they feel "there can't be anyone better than them" . They comfort this behavior in their EGO. When they apologize they tend to say "I'm sorry, BUT..." The moment they say "BUT" understand, they are NOT apologizing, they are JUSTIFYING their behavior/action, so mentally they can "move on". They are pleasant and lovable by those who know them superficially, but only the closest to them (family) know truly who they are. They tend NOT to have big circle of friends, they don't care for close friends. They feed of their closest family members. It took me a good 25 years to figure it out, with help of people like Jay Shetty, Mel Robins, Dr. Les Carter (covert narcisist videos) and a good friend, who came to open my eyes when the time was right. I'm getting out. It is NEVER too late to start a new.

this is so sad. i can't let go of my relationship because i love him way too much...but i'm also sick of crying everyday... i really don't know what to do..

So scary when you have a partner like this

This is so sad...a reality that is not easy to face because the people looking from the outside just see a loving, caring, protective spouse whose always checks up on their partners every move..wants to know & approve of the company of people you keep around. Thanks for making this video, most people only recognise/identify incorrect behaviour when they see it on visuals.

Everything is right about your videos except for that you really never make videos of women being abusive... Sends a wrong message. Men suffer as well. Why can't you just put it up both ways??

I would rather break my heart because I plucked up the courage to leave rather than put up being treated with no respect whatsoever

Who was held guilty in the video?woman who was flirting or the man who was getting angry just to get her Love?

My God..I know this and more..all too well.. Now free..no longer afraid.. Forgive him but want 0 to do with him...

I tried and i tried to explain and show my best frnd how she is being used and abused by her boyfriend and She won't listen she won't understand. Just because i have told her parents about her abusive relationship she stopped talking to me and ended our 8 long years friendship for that guy... They don't listen i don't blame a guy i blame a women who stays in an abusive relationship and tells everyone that how bad he treats her and doesn't take any action abt it :) Sympathy doesn't last forever and it doesn't make u better :) they need to realize that...

Been to this not exactly all but more worst than this. Physically and emotionally abused wether in public or in private. Did try to bear for a year just to save the relationship since he is my first boyfriend after leaving consecrated life and having the strong faith in God's intervention to every person to change through prayers but no cooperation on his end so i realize it was an ineffective choice to allow myself being in pain and abused. Early decision to let go of this type of relationship is the best option. Love yourself first. Know that you deserve what is best and never settle for less. Thank you Jay. More power to you.

For any man to act like that, that indicates he is insecure. If you love someone, you trust them. Love cannot exist without trust

What if its ur own mom that's being controlling and abusive... Cant let go of my mom.. What do i do in such situations??

This came to me in the perfect timing. Just broke up with my abusive boyfriend of a year on Saturday. The healing has been hard, the waves really crash down sometimes, but I know it was worth it to leave bc I would’ve never been happy. Thankyou for videos like this that can open other’s eyes.

May I please request an upload for addiction? Your videos are really motivational and it helps me a lot, I can relate to most of your uploads and most of them really touched me

Internal scar can't be seen and hard to heal

Begging for love is one of the cheapest acts. Sometimes we pay attention to others so much that we forget to love ourselves. Fore and foremost thing to is to love yourself first. Caring about mental and physical health. Apart from that fighting,struggling and growing to keep the relationship going.

Love yourself, then trust , its not scary being with the best version of yourself...

I was with a covert narcissist. Very hard to spot and hard to figure out. He kept a very good public figure while I became neurotic and withdrawn. I did finally figure it out and by then I was quite dead inside from the emotional abuse and finally left. From the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri: It took so long just to feel alright Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I'm a male victim of emotional abuse and I do that stuff all the time....eg do you want something to eat....say sorry when it's not my fault.....when she throws things I put my arms up to protect my face....she calls me pathetic because I don't say how I feel......what do I do???

Being alone may scare you, but being in a bad relationship will scar you.

Thank you for this, brought tears to my eyes .Just walked away from a very toxic ,emotional and physically abusive relationship after 18 years one of the hardest things i have ever done .I struggle evey day because of it .Trying to move forward . I am very thankful to you for your videos they really mean a lot .Keep up the good work .

Jesus Christ, this video is making me cry my eyes out, emotional abuse is the most painful thing one can go through. I have been there.

But what was it that she had to hide from him?

Thank you for making this. I was in an abusive marriage and relationships. WE NEED TO HEAR THIS!!!!

I am waiting for someone who makes me feel special.........💖💖💖💖💖💓💓💓❤️

ANY WOMAN in this day and age, who stay when they don't have to ......

Having firm boundaries, especially if you love them, is SO important. Don't ignore the subtle signs. Respect is more important than anything. When someone shows you their true colours, don't try to paint them out. Find another canvas and try someone else. Keep growing, keep learning and keep healing xoxo

Anyone else thinking how luck they are?

WORD FOR WORD I lived this 6yrs ago! We didn't live together, thank G-d but same scenario. He revealed his true colours on my birthday. Yeh, happy birthday! I left &never looked back. Happier ever since 😊

Love YOURSELF.... Be TRUE to YOURSELF.. RESPECT YOURSELF..

That's true but it may be suffered by both man and woman bad relationship is not only for woman but sometimes man also passed from it

I think both physical and emotional abuse is painfull...:-/ whether it comes from a man or women everyone should try to respect peoples feelings

thnx man for all inspiration and motivation❤ you show the exit way to my anxiety ..😂 try post some more videos plss..

one of the most wanted videos for people..... many people doesn't realise that they are staying in abusive relation...

That is so very true. The only thing I can add is that some people have never really felt loved from a child and dont know what it looks like to feel real love. Sometimes people have never had it maybe as early as birth and sometimes they have somewhere shut themselves off to love because of loss or a traumatic experience. I am understanding that now. Thank you.

Why she had to remove her shoes and escape from him...her body language triggers him...it is better she is open...transparency is better...whatever the case is she can open up and do the needed !...it is cinematic...make it or break it ! 😆

Yeah is same thing got be carful just got be aware just leave them quickly

I was with someone who started out as emotionally abusive and controlling. He ended physically abusive. I am so glad for my own sake I got out and away from him

That's why I love been single not necessary to get love that's my prespective love it nice video

Yes, have been there. Learned that being Alone in peace is an awesome journey. Physical and mental abuse believing It was love; was a one time lesson I shall never forget.

Er is een groot verschil tussen liefde en bezit... ❤ Liefde zegt, "Laten we samen gelukkig zijn" 💔 Bezit zegt, "MAAK MIJ GELUKKIG" Liefde deelt. Bezit neemt. Voor mij is liefde het delen van geluk en het streven naar elkaars welzijn, terwijl bezit egoïstisch is en alleen gericht op zelfvoldoening. 🌟 Laten we streven naar liefde en genieten van het geluk dat het brengt, in plaats van te streven naar bezit en nooit echt vervuld te zijn. ❤Let love guide us, not possessiveness.

It's better to break you're own heart by leaving, rather than have someone else break your heart everyday while you stay with them.... This thought really suited me... And I did it.... Its been two days since I ended our relationship and ended our story now I am continued writing a story but this time its only my own story. Thanks a lot for this... Your the best. More power to your Chanel and more subscribers to subscribe

I don't know how to express this but I have been in a relationship which was abusive in every aspect...verbal, physical,emotional , forcing him on me...all these went on for 1 year...its now almost 2 months I left the relationship cause I couldn't take it anymore... Till date he tries to text me not because he misses me...he just misses a person who will be submissive to him...I'm healing slowly..sometimes I feel myself a fool for loving someone who didn't know my worth... The worst part is ...I'm just 17 but this relationship scarred me...I have developed anxieties ,eating disorders and many other things ....just an advice...GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP WHERE THERE IS NO WORTH OF YOU ,YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR LOVE .....

Jay this is me,she has abused me for 4years we have been together I have realised how bad it was till I got into depression, thank you for saving my soul

Trust me...he's right, mental abuse hurts worse than physical abuse. It scars you for life. WALK AWAY. I was a child and couldn't.

Domestic violence is a disease. I've experienced it as child and as a adult. We must treat the ABUSER as well as the ABUSED. If not the ABUSE will continue. Domestic violence doesn't always have to be physical.

That's easy to say when you don't have small children. If you have money. Resources. Support!!!

2:45 wow. I need to do this.

🤦🏾‍♀️True Love is not dictatorship because the fact that they are your partner doesn’t mean you own or posses them,Don’t try to change someone to be who you want them to be,,that’s being selfish,,If you love a person,Love them for who and how they are..that’s true Love....Appreciate the similarities and respect the differences...

I just got out of a relationship like this. It was NOT easy at all, and it scared me so badly, that I tried to commit suicied and that left a small physical scar. So to anyone out there still in a bad relationship: Get help and GET OUT before it´s too late!

Would people fucking stop saying one is worse than the fucking other? Do you realize how alone I’ve felt because of these dumb statements making me feel even more invalidated and isolated even though I got beat to a bloody pulp every fucking day for three years? I was almost murdered time after time and guess what , physical violence also comes with verbal and psychological. My physical abuse is mine to carry and mine to live through and it is JUST AS VALID as any one who ever has to suffer any kind of abuse . Stop separating victims of abuse by saying one is better than or worse than the other especially when you haven’t ever even been through it. guess what ALL ABUSE IS AWFUL. All abuse is evil. All abuse is cruel and all abuse hurts . There is no reason for competition for who had it worse than the other. I endured hell, my story is mine and I am tired of feeling like I’m alone because of people like this saying ignorant and untrue bullshit like this.

This message is for me... my wounds are fresh .. I was feeling so down n just happen to see your video.. I need to start loving myself.

It’s difficult to see how standards of freedom and respect change from a place to another. I live in a country in which women should even accept the physical abuse because they are made to believe men being men, aggressive, rational, smarter, knowing more than women, being more realistic and logical, and etc. And whenever a woman complains, all the people start making excuses for the man because “he’s naturally aggressive “ They say you can’t destroy your life and get divorced because he’s beaten you a few times!!!

wow...that hits home run on me. My ex fiance was like that (now that I have thought of things through). He would be angry when I would go for therapy or important appointments for even my mental state. He didn't physically hurt me, but there were times when he would think that I'm cheating on him with even an online friend. I was naive and I was afraid that I would "kill" him by leaving him. But in the end, I ended up leaving my home to stay with my sister and her husband to start over. And while 5% of me would feel regret that I might not never get married, the 95% felt free

I love the message. I left SOMEONE i loved, because i thought that person would have broken mine. There were signals, that could tell me that. So i left. I learned the hard way, to love myself more.

I experienced that for 21 years both visible and invisible until I have depression. I'm.calling it quit as enough is enough. Can't even call it "love" in the first place, but was held emotionally hostage and I became immune to it. It's a wakeup call.

My boyfriend treated me that way.. I listened him but it was never enough. I want him to know that he was wrong😒

I m facing this exact situation. I Don't know what to do plz Allah show me the right path 😅. That man has put into a deep hole of depression and anxiety. I am becoming mentally unstable day by day. Now a days I can't even continue a conversation. I don't have any friend to share my problems. I have forgotten when I smiled or laughed last time. 😅 I m in a mess. Can't even move.please Allah show me the right path.

Wow. I wish this video existed a year ago. For a year a 4 months I've been in a super emotionally abusive relationship and it put me in a really dark place. I had to break my own heart and leave in the end. Now all I'm doing is putting pieces of my being back together. Still, thank you so much Jay, for this Beautiful and inspirational video. Much love!

Really your this video is so Important to this world to understand to use communication wisely and kindly to another soul it can harm directly no Matter wounds didn't appears but..it really highly harmful sometimes..😇❣️😭

But, what if the person that's abusive is your mother. Long story short, my heart has been wounded by thousands of emotional threat, agonised and vulnerable by her thought. I lived in a place where parents is an emphasis, where you can't fight back over their opinions, once you try to say something you'll be considered as a disobedient child. For which is really ridiculous. I know as her child, I'm compelled to respect her or else I'm open to hell's fire . But isn't it too much if your heart is consider frugal and worthless by someone and you are free to do nothing about it. I just want her to know that I'm anchored with a heart as well,that I'm a human, I can be really weak sometimes.... Alas, she will never understand.

Jay , I can't let it go like that because I love him so much but I can't change him . One year now I don't know what will I do , even if he call me talking with happiness but my tear will always come out by itself . Even if i'm with him i'm happy but my heart doesn't . Please help me Jay .

This is a compelling vedio. Outstanding performance. Bravo

Hey .. sir first of all thnks for giving us another such good video... And there is a request make a video on a guy suffering from a bad relationship and still continue it ... And have anxiety prob .. bcoz some of my buddies are facing this problem , so through your video they might get right back on the happy life 😊

Great message. Would have loved seeing the woman having the courage to leave the guy though.

There are wounds that never appear on the body, that hurt more than anything bleeds!👍👍

needed the strength to not go back to my toxic ex again and this showed up on my feed right on time! Your videos helped me through a lot of bad situations I didn’t know how to deal with. thank you Jay please keep doing what you do💫💫💖

So glad I got out of an abusive relationship. So easy to judge from the outside but you’re trapped when you’re on the inside.

Hello people, recently in past I got attracted to a person , I thought he was the one ,and he also felt for me which kind of came out on their own when he looked at me once ,then after that he started being manipulative at one point ,and trying to be real one point ,then one day he disrespected me indirectly ,then next day trying to cover it up ,that too indirectly but I didn't have a damn ,and he was caught ,he was trying to play with my feelings...and just ..then he was shocked the other day that I m smart and not gonna let myself be played . then after few 1 ,2 days I had a second thought that may be I m getting too bold and it's not needed as I m always in a kind of fight mode for right thing kind of person and by thinking about that person also that he is a person with a calm image..so i Talked to him and he said no.. it was hurtful initially , but much better now , but few days back..he is again started coming in my way .. but I m just ignoring him..see These people they don't have the guts to come footfront and accept and say that they feel and be clear to themselves and to other person. By his actions I thought may be he has realized he did wrong , and wants to be with me and I was in a kind of waiting mode as I wanted his love badly,but by watching this I really feel that people who I should never hope to be with such kind of toxic person. ,It's better to be single and love myself and be a person who makes me happy...and emotionally independent..and move on happily...thankuu Jay...

The song Under The Surface by the Swedish extreme metal group The Haunted is about invisible wounds, presumably written from the perspective of someone being physically and emotionally abused. Not an easy song to listen to. It is better to be alone than to be in a relationship where you're made to feel alone in addition to being scared out of your mind 24/7 for when your partner gets triggered into a rampage at breaching even the slightest threshold.

Thank you for this video. Every sentence just hit home. I have been in a mentally, emotionally, physically abusive relationship. Deciding whether to believe his lies or to leave. It's clearer now. It's better I break my own heart once then have him break it every day.

This is not love. One partner drinking beer ? Other going out. Why marry, if you still.need to go.out and dance with starngers, which could result in Heart"s song of being planted with tree and start of lies This is complete destruction. Love means different things for different people

Excuse me... my husb is v good. I knw its not you, Its ur sister who is crazy !!!! I think nobody knows that your sister is tricking me....

Thank u for stating facts. I was in an absuive realtionship for 3 years. I left him last year. It does scar you . However im back to my normal actual self. Im in a healthy realtionship now and engaged now.

i wish i knew this years ago ...i wouldn't have stayed for 9 yers to uncover this..a good piece ..Thank u

I condemn the act as shown in the video which is never ok and the poor lady should not just leave but also report this guy to the police. I think you failed to mention that in your video which was clearly physical abuse as well. This kind of behavior should be immediately reported and not just left alone so that he can not prey on the next victim. Mr. Monk I think you should raise the bar of your content since so many people are following you and not set a bad example. And people this is for all of you blindly following him, I don’t think this guy is qualified enough to give you real advice just as I pointed out in this video. I am nobody use your judgement a little more. He seems to have generic and manipulated responses, please think and use your own wisdom before your act.

This is so try. I definitely went through this with my ex wife. People have a hard time believing it because I'm a larger guy and she is a petite woman, but she definitely controlled me and abused me. Keep up with the videos!

This is the exact thing that happened to me. My ex he's really has changed me into different person since we started dating. I never knew that it wasn't love. He was so lovely and sweet at the first of our relationship but time by time i catch him lying behind my back but i always forgave because i thought we still can fix that situation. I thought he'll change but unfortunately no... Yesterday i really left him and i just know that we never can change people,once we catch him lie then he will always lie.

Do you mean divorce sir? I think divorce will make much emotional abuse to the children especially, to the wife and the husband too.