Best HFY Reddit Stories: Why Humans Are NOT To Be Poked 

I cracked up at this

we pack bonded so hard it pack boned back lol

Uhh wasn't me sir :D

Me. Medically retired career grunt reporting for duty.

My bad Sir. I thought the extra limbs and deep understanding of chaos were going to be beneficial.

Sir, with all due respect, these horrors are not my responsibility! I just tried to learn Latin and Mandarin but then a circle appeared below me and a voice asked how awake it....

Well, whomever it was... They're due for disciplinary action and a raise.

The old girls never got a taste for coils guns they said cannons and grape shot would be just fine

Remember the story of Binnjemin the trash can, I dont remember the name of the HFY, long story short human can and will befriend anything even if it is inanimate.

I just think of Freefall web comic. "You want to make a real alien invasion movie? Have them invade and question how they ended up working for humanity after two years on their planet."

@@qwefg3 Rumor has it, Steven He has a couple of them doing his taxes, hehe.

My little 6.5 meter catalina 22 does for sure. She hates sluggish winds, loves to dance in 10-20 knot winds, and gets downright scary when she gets to 30knot winds (though she doesn't like the bigger waves so much). Wind speeds higher than that I've not yet braved, but she handles so solidly I have little doubt she'd do ok for a while. Long enough to get to cleaner waters anyway.

I was in the Navy for 20 years. I served on 2 Destroyers and 3 Cruisers. Each one had different souls. The new ships (PRECOM) hold the "energy" of the people that built them. This changed over time as the Navy crews "imprinted" on them. The ones that have been in combat, oddly, feel serene and really 'safe.' The ones where people died there, well that depends on the ship. When I served on USS Merrill, we had a 'ghost' in the Nr.2 HPAC Room. Almost everyone who had reason to go into the space saw "The Yardbird." He wasn't malvolent or friendly, he was just there. He was an Ingalls yardworker, who died of a heart attack in the space during the ships construction. He went away after Merrill was engaged in combat operations in 1988. The entire ship itself seemed to relax after that.

I've been on a number of ships. They are just large, mechanical contraptions made of a lot of individual pieces, each piece aging, maintained, broken, fixed, broken, replaced, sometimes left in place until the next major refit... These things give a ship a unique "feel", a unique look, unique responses to various conditions and stimuli, quirks. Does the ship feel fear? Elation? Joy? Pride? Love? Does the ship set goals? Solve problems? Negotiate? Strike a ship with a weapon, does it recoil in pain? Scream in terror? Vow revenge? Sink a companion ship within a battle group, does the ship mourn the loss of its sister? Ask deities to accept and comfort the lost soul? No. The ship has no mind of its own, no life. The crew of a ship are a conglomerate of sorts, individual pieces thrown together to form a whole, just like the ship. Crew members arrive, learn, adapt, get injured, recover, work, eat, sleep, play, eventually leave, new ones taking their place. Just as with the ship, the crew acquires certain characteristics, behaviors, quirks over time that tend to stick around. The crew is a complex, living entity, formed of living individuals. The crew is intimately familiar with the unique behaviors of the ship, the way it handles, the problems it tends to have, the quirks. The crew is attuned to the ship, to the information communicated by the various sounds, vibrations, movements, smells, tastes. The ship continually whispers to the crew, and the crew listens, responds. The ship and crew form a system that can be said to have life. But it is all just a complex system, a collection of individual parts with emergent behaviors. Disassemble the system; remove the crew members, scuttle the ship; will a soul be released? Now, what about a human being? What about you? If you trim a fingernail, do you become a new entity? Does the old entity release a soul? How about if you sever a finger? A hand? The whole arm? Both arms? All arms and legs? If the communications channels between the two hemispheres of you brain are severed, you effectively have two distinct, separate, functional brains residing in one skull. Do you become TWO individuals, with TWO souls? Individual cells comprise your body. Those cells are constantly dying, constantly being replaced by new cells. Does each individual cell have a soul? What quantity of cells must a system contain to merit a soul? How many of those cells can be swapped before a new entity is formed and a new soul created? You are *always* changing. You will not be the same entity at 95 years old as when you were only one day old. When does you-the-infant entity become you-the-elderly entity? How many souls have been created and released by the progression of constructs you think of as yourself? Your sense that you are the same entity as the one that came out of your mother's womb all those years ago is a product of continuity of experience. This continuity, however, is easily disrupted, distorted, even lost / broken. Were you to entirely forget your personal history, would your prior soul pass and a new one be formed as a result of that disruption to your continuity of experience? If you have no recollection of life as an infant, does this mean that the soul associated with the continuity of experience that includes that period of time has left, a new one taking its place? My point is that the concept of a "soul" becomes ridiculous when you ponder the implications. Ships do not have souls. Neither do you and I.

I did some work on my brother-in-law's trawler a few years back... it felt like she was welcoming me back because I worked on her when I was a kid 2 decades ago

Old cars and motorcycles are like that too I had a 58 Chevy years back man I loved that car but time eventually came where I had to sell her off Everytime someone would come to look at it they would take it for a test drive and it would break down and refuse to start back up and we would walk back home and of course they wouldn't buy it I'd go back with tools and whatnot and nothing was wrong I'd turn the key go drive around and it never gave me issues eventually someone came and took it for a ride and it drove like it always did for me ran smooth as silk and hauled ass when you nailed the gas he bought the car and I asked him what he did he said he was an upholsterer he was going to redo the interior on it baby blue and white 2 tone to match the paint job I did on it and do it up like an Impala he came by when he was done and let me have a look at it some years later and I had to ask if the car ever gave him problems he never had one issue with it so I told him the story I think that car waited for someone like him damn I miss that car

They definitely have personalities...

actualy its very old thing, when first large Arpanet net works were made, and connect huge amount of pc, from time to time "things" happen as "itself" later they really start research, if large networks of computers can create own consciousness of some type, and many aggre, that it does (or will be with quantum computing)

Those are some old ladies you really don't want being scorned.

All I can offer is my own experience, but I'd say that souls are a bit contagious. Every car I've owned, I've given it a name and talked to it as if it had a heart of its own, and so far they've invariably been better cars for it, lasting longer and running better than other cars of their age and manufacture.

"Temper temper."

[Sounds of a 155km artillery emplacement being removed, along with the planet it was on.]

The SS Tsundere

Soo....the writer did that. I'm not saying WHICH ships they picked though. As in they are physically that big.

Enterprise would be unstoppable and Sammy B couldn’t be held back

Same hahaha

Same, lol.

same though, a wahrip with soul, espacaly with the name laffey is a hell of coincidence

No "human" lives were lost

Yea laffey is the american scrap iron flotilla

Nope, you're wrong, mate. The Laffey was a Benson class. And yes, you're correct about the part she's too angry to die. After the first one was sunk, they build a second one as an Allen M. Summer DD. And it that one also lives up to the namesake as she is still afloat after like 7 kamikaze.

​@@theconvictedquokka Don’t insult Taffy 3 like that.

@@nocount7517 have you seen the hijinks of the scrap iron flotilla

@@nocount7517 Mate, that is a compliment coming from an Australian.

They haven't met Caliburn yet, hush.

ships, cars, tanks, aircraft they all have some sort of soul, you can feel it when they rumble throughout their hulls

We call them HER because it cost so much to keep them in paint and powder. And the Russians (and a few others) call them HIM.

Except The Bismarck... he was a king

If they didn't have souls, they wouldn't accept blood sacrifices to keep working xDDD

Because when you're stuck at sea you might as well imagine there's at least ONE female you can touch?

I'd say place of honor in Valhalla more the like.

Taking over, maybe

There is a similar story about weapons. The Worthog is the main character.

Hibituallincrosers A-10s are terrifying

It's actually a bit of a running thing for the writer of this story. Look up perportional consequences, I think it's called

Oh hell yes!

Not a chance. You are mistaking fiction for fact. When referring to fairy tales, you shouldn't use the phrase "actual phenomenon ".

@@irmatroll Spoken as one that has never experienced it. There is much in this world that any honest scientist will admit happens without any explanation. There are notable pianos out there that have been around for hundreds of years, and somehow even complete newbies can make such a piano sing wonderfully. There are similarly specific and well known violins that are similar. I cannot play the violin (literally never once held one before) yet had a chance to hold a true Stradivarius, even played it a little. It sounded amazing and just sang. The individual that owned it thought I was a properly trained if rough violin player. That was the first time I ever held one. Still not properly trained in it...ain't my thing. These kind of things are well documented by science and constantly tested. The fact it keeps happening and they cannot explain it vexes them. You would be surprised what exists out there if you get outside your comfort zone.

@Nempo13 please provide one single example of a piano that I can send a novice over to play and have them sound like they are pre-trained.

@Nempo13 Ever tell a child how good a job they're doing and even posted their crayon drawing on a fridge for all to see? Yup. That's what you got. What you witnessed was just purely the quality of the tool. That's it. Nothing else.

That girl will never die.

@@wrathshorts2894 She Rolling back again.

That or taking on the form of a banshee and traveling to the various worlds of the enemy, blocking all comms traffic with her shrieking and lamenting as she heralds the imminent loss of crews many lightyears away. Keening and listing the many dead by name before it even happens.

With the soul of Cmdr Ernest Evans in the Johnston? No fleet in the universe would be able to survive!

All of taffy 3 and enterprise 😂

Johnston is probably charging at the Ing fleets, prepping to throw their torpedoes like darts.

@@madnimrod2489 or bum rushing those demons...

Johnston is in solitary because she is more likely than Laffey to start a war. If something starts and only if something starts can she come out.

BB-62: Oh cool! We finally get a chance to earn more battle stars than CV-6!

@@Kez_DXX try me

oh EVERYONE knows Big E... thing is, Laffey is present, Big E is probably winning that FCW that was mentioned with the Demons

"millennia to calm down ol girl, and you still blow your top at the slightest scratch of your paint..." The captain of Wisconsin's physical form sighed with a slight smirk. "i think ya made your point girl... let the rest run away and tell the tale, eh?"

There's nowhere to run.

@@kenlee5509 but you won't feel like you didn't try as you die.

considering that Enterprise 3, has portholes, that were original construction of the original CV Yorktown Class Enterprise, which were ALSO onboard CVN Enterprise 2... if there's ANY ship who has a soul its the Grey Ghost...

Nah, she's just a pissed off hellwalker(flier) happily tearing her way through ships

Why limited to ship like ship? Build giant mecha ship that looks like girls instead, the space have no boundaries, think big and think strong.

Azur Lane

@@nargalda773 *Boat LOVECRAFTIAN wai... Azur Lane XD

While the importance of the destroyer in naval warfare must never be ignored, I still can't help but imagining the voice coming out of Texas sounding like an eldritch grandma who's really excited to get another world war to her service record. "Hot diggity, Mama's ready for some action! I fought in the Great War, I fought in WWII, and by God I am here for WORLD WAR THREE." "This isn't a world war, Texas." "Oh of course, deary. Now let's go show the Space Hun how I dealt with the Earth Hun at Normandy."

​@Kez_DXX xD read Project Ghidora, by the same writer

Going by what the story says and some of the other stories set in the same verse, depends. I think some of the hulls are purpose made for preexisting ship souls, while others earn their own souls over time

new ships can form souls... though some ships like Enterprise and Laffey obviously are OLD souls... the Adm. mentioned that Enterprise took over a ship as her ''body" and spooked people... so its assumable that if a ship is indeed totally new, in time it may be stoked into life by the passion of the crew who man her.

There's actually two more parts to this. It's not over yet though