Mike, Jay and Rich Evans are joined by Colin from Canada to discuss the unsung bad movie masterpiece The Last Vampire on Earth, which is in no way "inspired" by Twilight.
Since everyone's going to ask: no, we can't upload the full version of the Sergio cartoon because it doesn't exist. It was a project that wasn't completed and the short clips of it you see in this episode is pretty much all that exists.
The synopsis for this film on IMDB currently reads: "A second-hand report of a man vomiting after eating chicken leads a preacher to believe a vampire is afoot. Luckily for the guy, his girlfriend has AIDS which allows him to be spared." Whoever is responsible for that, you're a hero.
Have you seen Vitaliy's main imdb? Lol he's holding an Emmy as if it's his and the only stuff he's ever produced/directed/whatever is his films... Worst still...he's still making movies...that trailer for Aladdin...I had to stop that halfway through.
I would think a vampire that maybe dines a bit too often on diabetics with high blood sugar problems could lead to portliness. Think of all those extra calories a vampire would be taking in if he got hooked up with family of diabetics with lots of extra sugar in their blood. You would get a vampire that could suffer from weight issues (but is in denial, because if you are going to drink blood, diabetics would be the chocolate milk of victims. But having weight problems could be a very touchy issue in the world of skinny beautiful vampires to be the portly edition. And this unfortunately would be emphasized when flying, because vampire physics of flying are for string bean anemic vampires, not the "I'm thinking Arby's tonight" version that we see in this movie. So the weightier vampire would have to fly in a sort of recliner sitting position, which would could be embarrassing for the sensitive vampire who likes to instill fear. And then of course there would be issues of having to catch victims with your legs around their neck while swooping down upon them and having to try and suck blood from their inner thigh (upside down).
Hey guys, I was IN this terrible movie! I even had a line in the church scene. I think I said something like, "that was a nice service." and then my husband said, "Yeah, it was pretty good!" This was amazing. Thank you so much.
Michael Bole (the vampire) was also credited as transportation assistant. So I'm thinking he was driving one of those little shuttles, maybe to and from some weird rundown water park and a bus depot, and that's where Vitaliy Versace noticed him and his trademark punctuality. The rest is history.
A vampire who could only go to a community college after 3,000 years sounds like it could make a good comedy. A completely inept vampire who just bumbles his way throughout three millennia.
@@fattiger6957 It's a fair point. The history of that man, and what came after means it's one of those Big Things You Want To Hear About. The same with Muhammad and Islam.
From what I understand, vampirism doesn't make you smart. It also doesn't make you beautiful, it just keeps you young. Why can't there be an ugly and stupid vampire? Not every vampire is going to be clever and gorgeous. I respect Vitaly Versace for exploring this aspect of vampires. True genius.
I'd love to see a movie about a historically-accurate vampire. Some short, ugly guy (or girl) whose growth was stunted by poor nutrition 2500 years ago when the average man's height in Europe was 5'0". Bonus points if he/she is also jaded as hell, because you'd have to be after seeing everyone make all the same mistakes over and over for centuries.
That's close to what Henrik Galeen and FW Murnau were going for with Graf Orlok. He both looks and acts like a diseased rodent about to keel over from ten different types of cancer.
@@Bacteriophagebs stephanie meyers gave the vampires some unique traits and lore which is honestly pretty cool and there were a lot of concepts there that were interesting and if they were only in a different story they could be explored further. the stuff about vampirism making you beautiful was something she put in the series, im not sure how common that trait is in vampire stories but its just how she wanted her vampires to be it wasnt drawing on tradition. its a cool idea in concept, vampirism making you beautiful but in a very uncanny offputting way, theres some cool surrealism there. in practice this idea was expressed by having edwards skin sparkle in the sun and it was just silly, but in the hands of another writer that concept could be interesting. but yes i would like to see more vampire stories that draw from tradition bc there are some things in early vampire folklore that do not get nearly enough attention. like how a vampire can infect cattle it feeds on and transmit vampirism to it, and when humans eat that cattle the vampirism is transmitted to them. i think thats a cool as hell idea (i suspect this belief came from anthrax, the way it infects livestock and then people) basically i think its cool when writers do something different with their vampires, whether its ideas they invented or forgotten ideas from the past that they bring back.
He looks like the kind of guy that would act in Epic Movie as the one-note joke where they replace a conventionally attractive man with someone that could make any woman dry through looks alone.
Yeah, I even heard Tom Hanks in an NPR interview say that very thing, swear to God. Everything is set up and ready by the time you're due on set and if you're late, like 50 people are standing around waiting for you, and that costs the production a pretty penny. So you better be right on time and prepared, or the director is going to be scouting for your replacement.
When you don't pay your actors, they have minimal motivation to show at all, much less on time. I know a couple microbudget directors. One pays his actors (not much, but he pays them) and never has trouble with them showing up. The other doesn't pay his actors (and constantly gets annoyed that the first one does) and then bitches when they drop out partway through production and such. The guy who pays his actors has directed two movies. Both are decent, serious movies marred only by a couple bad actors. The guy who doesn't pay has produced seven movies and directed five of those. All of them are on par with a Troma movie, though I'm pretty sure that's deliberate since the plots are also very Troma-esque.
0:00 Cold Open 1:38 Intro 5:32 Lead Actor 8:13 The Director + Making Sergio 10:13 The Novel (Entertain Men) 12:44 The Rehearsal 14:05 The Family (Garbage Pail Kid) 16:56 Blood Van 19:20 Different Artwork & Rerelease 20:20 The Elephant in the Room 25:04 The Climax 32:47 Real-Time Editing 34:12 Sequel Hoping 34:43 Jay's Oscar Performance + The Conclusion I have no life :(
Nostalgic Waves I’m just joking. I actually think Billy Burke did a great job as Bella’s dad and there are good actors there like Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen. Also, even Kristen Stewart doesn’t act as bad as she did in the Twilight films, so the directors for these movies were probably terrible.
There actually is a Twilight Zone episode about a man who is immortal that is sent to prison with a life sentence. He murdered his wife and planned on getting the death penalty, and hoped since he couldn't die that they would just let him go after the electric chair failed, but at the last minute his lawyer got his sentence turned to life. Wah-wah.
I remember that episode differently. Killing his wife was an accident. After the deal with the devil for immortality he jumped in front of buses and leapt off buildings to scam insurance companies. After he got his life sentence he was like "Well this sucks. Hey Satan! I wanna die now!" And he does. Episode wasn't that good to be honest.
The first words of that trailer are batshit: talking about Aladdin, an old woman says “he was a Christ follower.” What? And there’s more shots of Jesus than Aladdin.
The full title of the book is, apparently, according to google: "The Last Vampire on Earth: What It You Found Out That You Were Dying, and Met Someone That's Going to Live Forever?"
@@Strawberry92fs They meet the qualification of "cult." They deny essential Christian doctrine - for example, saying that Jesus is a created being ("a god") rather than coequal and coeternal with the Father and Holy Spirit in the trinity. They also have their own proprietary translation of the Bible (which orthodox denominations do not), injecting their beliefs into the translation in a way that biblical scholars would say treats the text disingenuously. Hope this helps.
@@ceresta1732 I'm aware. I made a cheeky comment 6 months ago. Although I didn't know about the church thing, that's new to me; but it makes sense. Stained glass windows are a pretty catholic thing, even if protestants use them sometimes.
@@FlyingSwordfish they're a cult. I left it and lost my family and friends. They isolate and disassociate from you the second you choose not to believe what they believe, and have been implicated in using Elders (a ranking in the church) to cover up abuse. Look up the 2020 Montana Settlement as a recent example.
Vitaliy got confused. He said he was making a vampire movie and somebody told him he should cast a guy that looked like Max Schreck, and Vitaliy didn't quite understand.
I bet it’s because 99 pages is the cutoff for the cheapest self-publishing package option for whatever printer Vitaliy - I mean Mandie L. Abraham - used.
@@commanderargon3321 During the Battle of Wakanda Garbage Pail Kid sacrifices himself to stop Thanos from getting Vision. Unlike Thor he did aim for the head.
Grammar nazis correcting grammar nazis who correct grammar nazis, how did it come to this? Well, you could say he meant the mistake was THERE, in the book OR (more probably) it's not his mistake but theirs.
I was really hoping there would be Grammar Nazis pointing out that "there's" is wrong in my comment. I basically knew 90% of people _wouldn't_ get the joke.
Wait, so you wrote all that comment perfectly and just missed that last word on purpose? Suspicious, but ill let it pass... Next time realize we're you are commenting, here at youtube where stupidly thick sometimes.
You know you've got something special when the grammar of the title isn't even right... "Sorry, Mr. Versace, we're over budget. We're going to have to cut all of the definite articles out of the movie."
Yo, you guys need to watch "Utoya Island", directed by Versace... It's about the 2011 Norway shooting, and the one and only Shrekward Cullen (Michael Bole) plays Anders Brevik. I couldn't believe it either. Probably a better casting for him than a hot vampire, but he still absolutely decimates the role... it's possibly worse than the last vampire. I laughed nearly the whole way through, but had to stop myself because it was based on true events... but then something would happen again that made me laugh even more. It's truly incredible what Vitaly Versace has accomplished in his single lifetime.
This movie is the Monty Python and the Holy Grail witch village scene, stretched out to feature length, adapted to take place in modern times, and played straight. Love it.
@@jdoli5962 they constantly make jokes about themselves too, they say that rich has diabetes and aids , call themselves alcoholics ,manchildren,perverts etc., it's just their humour
Thank you guys. Good job with the review ! I'm not Steven Allan Spielberg ! I'm more like Roger William Corman if you see his films you know what I mean ... But thank you for reviewing one of my first films I directed in 2009. Director/producer: Vitaliy Versace
Vitaliy, may I ask you a question? What is your demographic or target audience? Is it a specific group, or general? Also may I ask how you get funding for your films or do you self fund?
+MrKiron12 - Some of the Twilight actors are great, actually. Christopher Heyerdahl is good in almost everything he is in and I really liked Jackson Rathbone in Dread. But in Twilight everyone seems to have forgotten how to act, except perhaps Billy Burke (aka the only likable character in the entire series).
their performances in Twilight are awful (just like everything else about those films) but Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have more than proved their chops since then.
""I'm not afraid of punishment, death, or things I do not understand!"" What does that even mean?!? I don't understand how nuclear bombs work, but I'm afraid of them. I don't know... That's just a confusing-ass line.
Conceptually, a nuclear bomb is pretty simple. It uses a very precise explosion to tear apart an unstable isotope at the atomic level. The nuclear forces that keep the nucleus of the atom together and keep the electrons orbiting it are released as heat, light and electromagnetic energy that includes the radiation the weapon is known for. The practical engineering and science part is where things get complicated, as is usually the case with most things.
I think it's alluding to religion? it might just be a line that makes no sense and I may be giving more credit than is due but since faith plays a role in the witch hunt, maybe she meant what might "happen to her" for saving a being that would be considered an abomination in the face of whatever religion was used in the "movie"/a higher power than people can conceptualize? that's my best guess lol
How fitting: Michael Bole, the guy that looks like a serial killer, actually plays a serial killer in the movie "Utoya Island" about the shootings in sweden. And the movie is directed by *drumroll* Vitaliy Versage. The trailer even boasts "From the director of The Last Vampire on Earth"...
I know I'm late to the party, y'all, but I just noticed this. at 7:35 when they're doing the 'interview' between Vitaliy and Shrek, they have Shrek labeled as an 'Actror'. THEY COULDN'T EVEN SPELLCHECK THE FUCKING SPECIAL FEATURES.
The "director" of this shit made a shitty movie about the Norwegian Utøya massacre just after it happened.. With every fact wrong. Obviously he got a lot of publicity in the papers, and the film was out on youtube. How low can you go? Turns out he casted Shrek as the killer too..
That's a new level of exploitation right there. What a let down, seriously. It's one thing to follow your dreams and being a laughable fuck up - that's almost admirable. Being scum is another thing entirely.
I just realised when Jay throws the spidget finner and hits the thing, he didnt "accidentally burnt out half the lights" one of the lights actually turns on wtf
@@FlameQwert I thought the same thing at first but Jay's head is blocking the light bulb in question. The light comes into frame (because Jay moves his head) the same time the fidget spinner hits the O
1:50 Ok so did anyone notice that Jay lit the lightbulb in the upper right corner with his throw? Jay Bauman, the legend who created light with a fidget spinner. Is Jay replacing Rich Evans as God?
Between the girl's trigger safety and the fact that she never pointed it directly at anyone on screen (even in the shooting scene, you can tell it's pointed well over that dude's head), I'm pretty sure that was a real gun and everyone on set was REALLY careful about it.
No kidding. It's like right around the time they're mocking the movie for bad audio levels you have Rich scream cackling and then Mike talking insanely quietly. Yea, I get it, they're hacks, har har, but this is basic stuff that makes your channel watchable. I'd like to hear Mike talk without my entire house hearing Rich Evans laugh.
Hota Watcher naw it got turned on when the fidget spinner hit it actually. If you "Watch" more carefully, you'll see that before he tosses it there are only 3 lights on at the very top with a dead bulb on each side. The bulb that gets turned on is one of those dead bulbs.
After Jay turned on a light bulb throwing a fidget spinner at it, a light on the "O" behind his left shoulder turns off all on it's own 17:43 , just to turn back on at 23:16, back off at 24:21, back on at 29:38, back off at 31:12, back on at 32:39, back off at 33:40, back on at 34:26, back off at 34:46, back on at 36:46, and back off at 36:59. If you add all those time stamps together you get the number 665 exactly! Mike, I believe you now that the studio is haunted!
Was... was the blood strawberry syrup? It was awfully thick. Blood isn't even that thick! Edit: my mom recently told me she has, in fact, seen the entirety of this movie and I don't know how I should feel.
What I don't get is, if this was meant to appeal to girls who liked Twilight, why didn't they just hire some random male model off the internet to play the vampire? It's not like acting ability is a factor here....so why go with that lumbering goon?
Twilight doesn't have bad actors, for the most part. It's the performances that are bad. A lot of those actors gave good/great performances in other stuff.
Here's the thing - the usage of AIDS as a plot device, in of itself, isn't necessarily a bad idea for a vampire movie. It's unique! It's not been done before and I for one would appreciate the innovation and the sense of reality that it would bring to what is a now-stale genre. But in the words of Switch from the Matrix: Not like this... *Not like this*
@Texas One There's so much content in movies that could be deemed offensive, that's subjective Addressing topics that are taboo is what a competent filmaker does, that happens all the time
Something I never caught onto: I’m pretty sure this movie was shot In Pennsylvania; the girl in the interview’s wearing a Steelers sweater and, just look at the setting, while Born Into Mafia was clearly shot in L.A, so I guess after his first flop, Vitaly was exiled to Pennsylvania with Paul Kattupalli, the Polonia brothers, and Dave Wascavage. It’s becoming the Hollywood for z-grade films.
Vitaly should make a sequel: _The Last Vampire on Earth Meets the Last Werewolf on Earth._ Or maybe he could collab with Dave Wascavage. I like the sound of _The Last Vampire on Earth Meets the Suburban Sasquatch._ Dave still has that sasquatch costume, I presume. Why not use it? This could be the most epic crossover in movie history!
Why not, instead, "The Last Vampire on Earth" meets "The Last Man on Earth" (i.e. the one with Vincent Price)? Both have the vampire connection, and you can enjoying seeing Vincent go after the Shrek-like vampire to finally rid the world of its plague.
Then they're both confronted by the angry villagers of Canisborough from _Lycan Colony_ and have to team up against the werewolf town for their own survival.
Another funny thing I noticed...the church they go to looks like a Catholic church, its implied the family does missionary work, believes in the concept of vampires and burning religious infidels at the stake, yet they are Jehovah's Witnesses? Wut?
Answer: The director read some stuff about things once and said, "Blood Restrictions? My movie is about a vampire! How appropriate!" and then didn't bother to do a single bit of research on the topic after that.
I happen to be an expert in Jehovah's Witness research ever since they brainwashed...ahem..uh...."educated me in truth", as they like to say. Seriously, I did grow up as one...they are a cult by all definitions. I guess I can also clarify my points about these guys, JW's dont go to church, they meet in "Kingdom Halls". They look like senior centers. They dont really do missionary work, they basically show up with Watchtower magazines and berate you. They dont believe in supernatural stuff. That along with anything not sanctioned by the Governing Body is not just evil but not even worth consideration. This includes birthdays, Santa Claus, and anything remotely enjoyable. Groping children is perfectly acceptable.
@Matt Polzkill the JWs policies, especially the two witness rule is notoriously favorable to pedophiles over their victims. The Australian Royal Commission is still draining funds from their church every month because they refuse to give up documents that have reports of pedophilia in them. This all comes from them seeing pedophilia as a non legal issue but as a spiritual issue, so they don't think the police should be involved, so they discourage parents from reporting their child's abuse, they have shunned other witnesses for the reason of reporting a pedophile to local authorities.
