BI AND MARRIED - Ask A Bi Guy 6 

I live in Texas and I haven't had a single bad reaction since I've come out. People really will surprise you.

you're wearing wills shirt omg that's so cute

you should try to do something with you and your husband and Ashley Mardell and her fiancé Grace. I think it would be interesting to talk about the expectations for bi/gay couples about commitment, marraige, etc. from two different genders' perspectives. I don't think its important to compare "who has it harder" between men and women who are bi, but it is important to bring light to the different experiences of men and women or just of different individuals on these things.

Things I love about this video: 1 RJ's way to explain his point of view about certain topics. 2 RJ mentioning his husband (it doesn't get old) 3 Will's shirt

"Ask a Buy Guy" lol RJ are you ok?

I am a nonbinary bisexual, yes we do exist and we are valid! :D

RJ is the only RU-vidr who responds to intelligent and thought provoking questions. He doesn't dumb it down and explains things when there is confusion. I love that I am actually watching a Q&A with an adult. So much click bait and childish theme shaved turned me off RU-vid lately. No one inspires anything, they just rinse and repeat. Thank you RJ.

thank you for shutting down the idea of bi people only being attracted to cis people! you explained it so eloquently and much better than I ever could. you're the best!

I have been struggling w/ the whole bi is discriminating against trans* etc and THIS IS SO GOOD THANK U SO MUCH OMGFM IM SO HAPPY RN like I just prefer bi bc it's a term I've become comfortable with and WHILE AlsO haVkmg and attraction to more than just guys and girls iM jUst REALLY HAPPY RN

i love "ask a bi guy" so much. im gay but its so nice just to hear an out bi guy chat so frankly about real issues

Yay another good video! Thank you for making them, and that's coming from an Out and Proud Bi Gal living in the middle of the country (Oklahoma). These videos mean a lot. 💖💖💖

I just found your videos, and I love them. As a bisexual, I admire all of the work you are doing to make this world such a better place!

I've never heard that definition of bi before. I really like that! I'm going to use that now! :)

Thanks for making these. I've been having a hard time with my bisexuality and these really help.

Are there any bi trans guys/girls you know? I think they can offer a cool perspective.

Ask a "Buy" guy? 😂 RJ whatsup with you? 😂

So I’m bisexual. 40. Fully came out to my wife/life partner last year. Your journey has helped me along my path to acceptance and self love (no pun intended). She has been loving, accepting, and supportive. I attended pride this year openly Bisexual. Our friends showed up randomly, and I just “came out” but nonchalant like :) Thank you, thank you, thank you for your years of blogging on RU-vid. You are younger than me but have been such a role model! I want to give you a hug so much! Daniel Shuford Providence, Rhode Island

I never thought about the whole "gay marriage" vs. "same-sex marriage" difference, I used to use it interchangeably. Glad I know better now though =).

I love when you get so passionate explaining things like that! :) It would be great if you could explain the difference between bisexual and fluid. That's something that people (me included) are still not very familiar with.

I am bisexual and I can not get this boy out of my head

I love the openness you have and the willingness to share about your relationship. Its awesome.

I just use LGBT+ because I feel like it covers everything.

Well done! I miss seeing you and Will everyday for such a long time you guys were part of my day!

Woo! Congrats - may you and Will live a happy life ☺️

I think it is ridiculous that you even have to label your marriage. You are a Married couple period!

congrats on your marriage :3

good questions and GREAT answers! tytytyty

NO WAY!!! HE USED MY QUESTION. SENPAI NOTICED ME. don't mind me, i'll be freaking out in the corner

im watching this video a month and a half later than it came out and im still screaming as much as i was when it came out- THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTION oMG

Hi RJ, do you think you can do one of these with Will?? I kind of want to hear his opinions on the more couple type questions.

These types videos are great. I grew up in a very close minded Christian family but seeing great people like you and Will have really helped me change my mind about what I've been told growing up. I think watching Tyler Oakley and Kingsley were probably the first that that really opened my mind but y'all are also doing great work!!! ❤️

Thanks RJ! Great video.

The fact that he's wearing Wills shirt makes me all heart eyes #buyguy

a bi video with Rachel whitehurst would amazing!!!!!

I love how you described Hollywood's mentality! It really frustrates me how there is that double standard between people's personal beliefs and their "business" decisions.

Please DON'T change the title! Let's keep the fun! Will be there a new "Ask another bi guy/girl" video? Congratulations (again) Mr The Husband! Awesome video, as always Sir!

Thank you ♥ I don't usually see myself as having role models, but my gosh, you are great :D

RJ: Informative and quite good video. I have enjoyed how you answer questions and how you explain and go into detail. That question about people feeling someone's sex life or affairs impact them was a good one. I like your response on that one. The truth is.. it does not impact them.

great video RJ

Yey, go RJ with your activism! Doing the same here on the other part of the world :)

Another great video in this series! Maybe my favourite of the bunch since I'm also bi and married - but in an opposite sex relationship. I really like that you are addressing these issues. Your videos make it easy to share the conversation with others, so thank you! Btw, I absolutely love that shirt!

Congratulations on the marriage!

I appreciate your work!

Love these vids. I'm a bi girl and am so here to support bi guys! We need more of them! Also, maybe you could interview Gaby from buzzfeed. Don't know how approachable she is, but yeah, cool bi person for sure

Im in love of your shirt 🌻 / Thank you for the video 😘

Thank you so much for talking about the stupid idea that bi means you can only be attracted to Cis men and cis women! That's bothered me for a long time, but I never see people talking about it.

Congrats rj!

I love that sunflower shirt so much!

I would love to see a natural-wood background: reclaimed wood. It would go so well with your bi-guy vibe: rustic but still refined. (Great music choice.)

You're wearing Will's shirt😆 I don't know why that makes me really happy😍

I learnt something from this thanks!

I am a Bisexual man who is married to a woman, and it isn't easy convincing people that I am not Straight, just like you have people who assume you are gay. I am constantly having to state that I am not straight!! So it would not be any easier or different if you married a woman instead of a man. The struggle is the same, you still get it from both the straight and gay communities.

thaaaanks you help me so much, i am bi and have someone who talks about it make me feel like i'm real and not a lie like a lot of people say

Awesome. I used to date a bi guy, and it didn't work out because we didn't share the same values about what a couple should be, however, two years after our last break up we started hanging out again. He has a really nice boyfriend and I love them both very much, I love spending time with them. I'm really glad things turned out this way

Yes and no; while i agree under certain circumstances that people shouldn't tell others what to identify as, it's also very hurtful to the orientations when others inaccurately identify.

just love your videos so much (and Wills too) they have helped me so much with accepting me for me. I am still not 100% there but I am getting closer every day :D

Oh my gawd, thank you for making this video. I'm Bi and have been married for 12 years. All of the things you're talking about are so true! For me, because I'm in an opposite-sex marriage, I get tons of side-eye from the LGBT community, but I've never stopped being vocal about my bisexuality.

RJ, I completely agree with you. The mislabeling is nothing but irritating and can even come across as callus and impolite. My partner and I have been living together for 3 years and are not in a relationship. However, we are commited to each other. That is how we choose to define our situation because that is what works for us. It is noone's business but our own just as How you choose to define your relationship with Will is noone elses business but yours. As they say where me and my partner come from, "They don't pay my bills!"

I personally like all your videos. Your ranting is correct.

I'm loving this series! I have zero bi guys to talk to where I'm from and Tumblr can only get you so much info on bi guys 😅

this is so weird bc i feel like you were genuinely talking to me when you answered my question lmao

Hello everyone. I have notifications on, but I didn't get on. I did however see your thumbnail in my sub box. I love these Ask a Bi guy video's, because when I starting to learn about different sexuality that Bi was almost always portrayed in negative lightning. With each video I learn more about the Bi Community even if I'm not Bi. Also love the Auto Correct misspellings. Have a wonderful day today to anyone who reads this. Sincerely Dylan

Amen! On the topic of assuming someone is gay or straight based on relationship: had a classmate assume I was a lesbian because I have a girlfriend, but she didn't say it until one day later in the semester as we were having a discussion of attractive celebrities. I was like "I'm actually bi" and she took it in stride but I always think about how that could have gone super far south. Bi visibility is a must.

The acronym that I use is, depending on who I'm talking to, either LGBT+ or LGBTQA+ because some people understand the Q and A but others only get LGBT.

Hey same here bisexual and married to a man!!

1:57 was me tbh. "oh, i like girls? whatever, I'm gonna marry a guy someday"

Also I happen to be part of the bicommunity that is attracted like you said to non-binary folk.

lol Every five minutes you guys are like "Oh have you heard the news? We're married!" lol. Its adorable.

You mentioned wanting an umbrella term for the lgbtqia+ acronym I read about the term SAGA a while ago it stands for sexuality and gender awareness and could work better because it allows for further growth and acceptance within and outside the community

as a bi guy I also agree sometimes I act masculine and sometimes I act feminine. I have noticed this.

Trey Melvin on ask a bi guy 😅💖

Great one RJ! "Bi" the way, bi guy (not on a current man-to-man relationship) officially out of the closet in here. We're growing.

Good job.... well done......

Im 13 and proud to be bisexual i love ur videos. go Bi guys!

This has probably already been said, but I really like SAGA (Sexuality And Gender Acceptance) as an umbrella term. I think it's a lot less limiting than LGBT as well as the name which makes me feel like everyone in the community has a story to tell. I feel like the name allows all of us to be painted as individuals in addition to being part of a community

I love the comment about middle America because I live in Columbia MO, which is like the LA if Missouri. Still a lot of issues because hey it is MO but it's so much more open and lgbt friendly them the rest of the dtate

I saw someone one say "bipolar doesn't mean 2 emotions, but a spectrum of them. bisexual means attraction between the 2 points of the gender spectrum" and thought it a good way to combat those who insist bi is binary :)

I really love your shirt- where did you get it?

With your personal definition of someone who is Bisexual, how would you describe someone who defines themselves as a Pansexual?

Isn't that Will's shirt R. J.?

Don't we already have "queer" as the umbrella term?

Regarding the first question, though, the first line of your bio description over at Shep689 still says: "welcome! :) we are Will and RJ, a gay couple...", so you might want to get around to changing that, then. ;) Great & thoughtful vid, as always!

Every time you talk, I learn.

What I don't get is why people say 'gay marriage' instead of 'same-sex marriage'.

It's so hard for me to explain other people the difference between saying "gay couple" and "same-sex couple." And P.S.~ Love your shirt :)

When I told one of my friends Im bi she tried to tell me what the difference between bi and pan is and what being bi actually is... like what?

Interview Gaby Dunn, please! :)

Ask a buy guy haha Good Job RJ:P

You may have already tackled this (can't remember, watched all your "Ask a Bi Guy" videos, but my memory is... awful), but: How do you deal with people who focus on one aspect of your sexuality? Not erasing it exactly, just focusing on one element? You are with/have been with a guy so you're gay to them, even though they know you date(d) women too? How do you feel about that? Personally, it pisses me off no end. Even people I have known years and who know I have had partners of both sexes act surprised when I mention a girlfriend. "But you're gay, you sleep with guys!" they proclaim. Sometimes I explain - again - other times I just mutter "For gods sake" and walk away.

Great video! I absolutely hate when people try to pressure me to identify as pansexual, because ''bi means two!''. I think you explained the problem with that very well, but still I would like to add that it's not even necessary to try to incorporate the 2 into the definition (as in ''It's the attraction to one's own and other genders, that's what 2 means''), just because the word used to mean that. It's easier to explain it to people that way, of course, but we don't expect people who identify as gay to necesarilly be always cheerful or people who identify as lesbian to be from the island of Lesbos, even thought that's what the word originaly meant. So why do we expect people who identify as bi to be attracted to only two genders? Not to menation ''bisexual'' was the word people outside of the community, who of course couldn't imagine identity other than male of female, originally used for us, even thought the people inside the community often felt attraction to other genders as well. The word was later reclaimed and we attached our own menaing to it, so I find it really uncool when people who are not bi themselves try to define bi in whatever was suits them without bothering with what the word means to the community.

I’m bi guy that’s married to a woman. I’m out and open to everyone and have a great support system. Though, some of these questions do get old. Ive has to answer a couple of these multiple times. 😒

I tend to think people who police other peoples identity and etc are just lashing out due to anger or disgust, and they used the 'it affects me' argument as an excuse to justify their feelings and their behaviour.

So I am a girl who has been curious to the fact if I am bisexual because there has been cases where I have thought about possibly finding girls bodies attractive, and or appealing. Do you think this may mean I am bisexual or even heteroflexible? It's been on my mind a lot lately !

Can I get a link to your friends article? Thanks

But then what is the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality?

Do you feel something different when you like a guy than with a girl?

omg the first question I relate to so much. I'm a cis-woman who identifies as queer/pansexual. When I was first coming to terms with my sexuality (about a year and a half ago) , I was acknowledged that I liked women, but I never saw myself marrying a woman. now I can't see myself marrying a man, but I can totally see myself marrying a woman. hahahahaah.

interview bree essrig or gaby dunn or both simultaneously

I thought of this cool idea which you don't have to do and I'm not saying you have to, but what if you tweet pit questions you haves for other bi people and people of other sexualities and how they react to suck questions, like ask your followers questions? This has probably been done and is a stupid idea but, I was just thinking. Love the video btw :)

What is the easiest way to come out to your parents