Bisexuality: Setting the Record "Straight" 

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS INFORMATION???

i still dont understand why bisexuals STILL get so much hate.. especially if youre male.

NO REALLY

Montre Bible Cause people think that we havent made up our mind

Montre Bible What's worse is Pansexuals get the most hate from both straight and lgbt+ community...

I coincidentally made up a gender for myself that's also called "I don't give a fuck." I'm not transgender or even (very) androgynous. I made it up because gender is pretty much bullshit. I don't mean you can't be feminine or masculine, or even that you can't act different than what's normal for your sex. I mean that gender is basically just a stereotype, and you should be able to do whatever the hell you want without getting your own fucking pronouns.

Hello there friend, have you looked into things like pansexual, and panromantic? Because those sound a lot like what your talking about. But if you don't want those to be your identity that's cool too. Just thought I would let you know. Sometimes people really like labels, others don't.

Heather Haack When I was trying to figure myself out, I did look at Pansexual, but I ultimately decided on bi because I thought that fit me best. Also the flag is nice lol

***** Okay. That's cool! Glad you know.

LOL! Thats the only thing anyone should identify as.

Laine Sullivan preach you and me both

Why they insist on doing so is beyond me, because being gay is actually more "convenient" at times.

TheNotAdam Because it's an easy way to test the waters when you're not sure how people will react. It's a safety thing. You're not pulling the rug out from under everyone's feet right away and knocking them over, you're just kinda nudging them off to the side so you can pick it up later when people are used to the idea of no longer standing on it. This, of course, doesn't excuse that it's a shitty thing to do in the grand scheme of things.

TheNotAdam Honestly, I did come out as bisexual to the first person I told; however, it wasn't out of any sense of "convenience" or intended to be used as a stepping stone. The truth of the matter was that I was sexually (self-)repressed for years, and in addition to that, was also an artist who was used to drawing and painting nudes of both "binary" sexes, and therein seeing the beauty of "both gender binaries." The thought of "anyone else in between" never even crossed my mind because I was that naïve. Needless to say I was very ignorant to a lot of discourse surrounding sex, gender, sexual orientation and sexual conduct: and of course, to my own sexual desires. After I came out for the first time (and told said person that I was, admittedly, confused), I was led to different resources that made me realize that I was, in fact, gay. This whole process took less than a day, and the only person to know about this "stepping stone," was this one person. I reiterate: this took less than a day: though I will say that this isn't to say it will for every person out there. As a result, grouping my case with other cases of coming out as bisexual instead of gay, granted, might be misleading. Nevertheless, that was my case, and it was a tad more difficult to navigate the waters of self-discovery at the time (I'll get to that in a second). To this day, I'm probably not 100% gay, but that is how I identify. With today's resources though, this is something I would have been able to do much more easily...so really, if someone were to be in my shoes, they would have less difficulty figuring this out, or so I would hope. So hopefully we can see less of this confusion and trivialization of bisexuality and pansexuality in the future. In this case, knowledge is indeed power, and has the power to dispel any (or at least most) misconceptions surrounding this discourse. Side note: I have a feeling I had an ADD moment and forgot where I was going with this mid-post lol. Hopefully I reined it all it and made some sense out of it...

TheNotAdam RJ, I completely agree with you! I've been grappling with my sexuality since I can remember and am still having some difficulties. Problem I have is that I just used "gay" for when I came out to make it easier for people to understand and now in hind sight, I probably just should have said I like guys (which means i could be gay, bi or whatever) It's just more generic of an explanation and probably would have saved me a lot of stress over the years...uuhhh life!

True, and it pisses off my pastor that I'm bi, but do I care? HELL NO!!!

You two would raise adorably perfect children. (If you want them -- no pressure!)

Justa Guy shep689 no there's pressure, please have children :)

So happy for you, I always think RJ is a Shepsexual more than anything else ;) Can't wait till Oct. 2015!

If there are no other shepsexuals in the world, RJ is a shepsexual. Actually, I believe he referred to himself as "willsexual" in their how they met video.

Yeah they are. how do I get my parents to understand that I am bi-sexual because im 13 and they don't get how young you can be to know your sexuality. xx please help!

Thank you for this, yo. Because life would be easier to not have to validate bisexuality to almost all questioners whether they be homosexual, heterosexual, or greysexuality advocates/philosophers who believe sexuality is 100% labelers. Or pansexuals who seem to think they are better than bisexuals. Yeah...

Ugh, yeah. People say 'it's a phase you go through in high school' are idiots. Hell, I grew up Catholic, so was terrified to admit I was bisexual until I was 22. Way past high school. Always been bi, always will be, whether people believe it/like it or not.

Exactly!

It really is harder to come out. The gays in your life tend towards thinking that it's a stepping stone. The straights in your life now think you want to get it on with them (nope!) and others just go "what's that?" So much harder.

Zeke Krahlin Bisexuals ARE far more persecuted than gays, because we are persecuted just like the gays outside the lgbt community and by the gays too. Case in point, YOU and all your hateful comments in this video's thread. But at the end of the day, its not about who has it harder in life. Just about acknowledging that it is hard and that needs to change, period. And btw, hate only breeds hate. Your heterophobia is just as bad as homophobia. Even worst, its hypocritical. We, the queer community have been victims of marginalization and persecution simply because we are different, but that is no excuse for you to attack those that are different than you.

Please can you explain to me what pansexual means ?

Pansexual is defined as someone can be attracted to anyone on the gender spectrum. Whereas someone who identifies as bisexual can be attracted to two biological sexes (usually male and female), I, as a pansexual individual, could be attracted to someone who is male or someone who is female, but also someone who identifies as agender, bigender, transgender, etc. Basically, just more options. Bi means two, whereas pan means all. Hope that helps!

Lindsay Osterhoff bi's say this too. I'm Bi and I like everyone. Its not a true statement about Bi people only liking biological male/female.

I have heard many who identify as bisexual say that. All I can say is that I tend to go by the most popular definitions but if you are bi and like everyone, I am not one to say you are wrong. I think the most important thing is being who you are and using the term you feel comfortable with. I hope that my definition did not cause any offense. I just gave what seems to be the most general, widely accepted definition.

There are more than just two genders. Even if we only look at chromosomes and body formations. Gender and biological sex are much more complicated than the binary we are taught in basic biology classes.

Oh man, Jensen Ackles is DELICIOUS. Him and Jennifer Lawrence would be so much fun. :D

OMG YES! (but in my mind they're shipped as their characters, Dean and Kensie)

I would bloody love a Dean/Kenzie ship! Dirty thoughts. So many dirty thoughts!

Zeke Krahlin You completely missed the point. he wasn't trying to convince people that it's real, he's merely saying it's none of your damn business, and you have absolutely no place to judge him, or anyone really, regarding their sexuality. You kind of just proved his point about people's ignorance.

*facepalm*

+Douglas Shoemaker Thanks for sharing this it makes me so happy! :)))

+TheNotAdam So... your sexual orientation is bi, and your sexual conduct is gay, isn't it?

+Treveram I think it would be a little different, like his sexual orientation is bi and his sexual conduct is having sex with so and so, doing this and that with so and so...

+Treveram *same-sex, not gay

BISEXUAL PRIDE DUDE!!!!

do you actually get girls who know that you are bisexual and sleep with you anyhow?!

Lyric WasHere IT AINT NONE OF YA GAT DAMN BITNESS!

i'll take that as a no you don't get females..you wouldn't of been offended if I didn't hit a nerve.

Lyric WasHere darling your obviously looking for a fight and I'm not going to be the one to come sit here and argue with you about things that don't concern and don't involve you. If you are seeking some sort of fulfillment I suggest meditation or channeling your energies into creative AND PRODUCTIVE activities. Maybe consider studying the teachings of Buddha or practicing yoga? Either way these are just suggestions and what you with YOUR life from this point on doesn't really concern me just like what I do WITH MY LIFE should never have concerned you. Have a blessed life.

If anyone insists on giving you shit, just show them this vid and let me argue it for you ;)

TheNotAdam Thanks RJ !!! =D I sure will show them this!

Rick excellent comment !!

doodle mope lol not all of us

Yes you all :)

Yes you are in your own way :)

Look how you're smart! Smart people are hot.

doodle mope I don’t think I am. 😂

here here

truth

nathalie alexandra Tcherdak same!

+Micah Manabat That's true, demi- does mean attracted to someone (beyond gender) based off of a pre-established (usually positive) relationship; I didn't say they were the same thing, and if that's how it came out, I apologize, but my point was that it falls under the bi+ umbrella, but also that each term under this umbrella has its own properties, which is why we need separate terms, and that I, personally, prefer to use the broader, umbrella term, out of simplicity and practicality, also for the reason that I haven't completely made up my mind yet on the matter. (I also failed to mention omni- and many more, and for that I apologize. I will strive for more precision in my future statements) :D

Demisexuality/Greysexuality is part of the asexual spectrum, not anything else.

While I don't think the last bit is too accurate, can I quote you on that?

A very valid point, and well put might I add.

***** Ugh.

+Jenna Hale I think you're a cool human being too! Thanks for sending out more positive vibes!

love this comment! so true! I also have to point out that these ignorant people say they're afraid he'll cheat on him with a WOMAN. I mean, what does the gender of the other person have to do with it? Cheating is cheating no matter who you do it with and no sexuality is void of cheaters, even asexual. I highly doubt cheating would ever be an issue with them because its obvious they are in love and they are better people than that. :)

Thanks man!

TheNotAdam love you soo much for this

What up Daniel

You mention the problems people have when they find out about you. I honestly couldn't really care less with regards to me, but I'm also stupid in many ways. I've made a number of really bad mistakes that I am ashamed of in terms of reactions to friends I highly respect, and I'm gay., and I will be forever ashamed of how I acted to this person when presented with what they felt comfortable to share with me. They did it out of love and respect, and I trampled all over that. :( Being arrogant and stupid is not the providence of the Straight and Cisgender only. The main thing I want to say publicly is: I'm really sorry Zach. I should have been far more supportive than I was the last time we spoke. I doub't you'll see this, but i hope one day you will. Please, you are amazing, you do you. If I have an issue accepting something that is my issue and not yours. You found your situation that helps you be happy finally for the first time ever, and I want to applaud you at how amazing you are.

this is my favorite comment ... I think exactly the same. every human being can have an identity own ( podemos crear nuestra propia etiqueta o identidad. una que no está tan estigmatizada como las ya conocidas ) regards !

You remind me of my sister; she just likes people :)

Zeke Krahlin Your reading comprehension is amazing. So selective. Also, using a derogatory for a straight person? Way to be heterophobic, and a hypocrite.

Thank you for resorting to petty name-calling, thus showing your lack of intelligence. If heterophobia "doesn't exist", then why, in every one of your responses on this video, do you target straight people, directly or indirectly, with vitriolic statements about how they're "bad", or, you refer to them with a derogatory ("breeders")? Seems to me that you're the very thing you described: fighting bigotry, with bigotry. Way to go nowhere, fast. I'm not heterophobic, I'm not homophobic. I'm not anything-phobic. But, I do despise idiots that resort to vitriol and name-calling to try and prove their point. Back to the original post: you called a gay man homophobic. That's fuckin' rich.

I don't really know what's happened to the replies here but I'm pretty sure it's not what I was aiming for with my comment. But to Zeke Krahlin I'm a very proud happy gay man who has done work for a number of LGBT charities and efforts to spread awareness. I am not in the least bit homophobic. I am however, deeply disappointed by gay people who spout bi erasure because we've all experienced crap for not being straight so it's maddening to see fellow gay people throw that onto bi people. I wouldn't actually hit anyone in the jaw so chill with caps lock there, it's exaggeration and we all do it But to Naru 'Ecksanavai Zeke's actually right, being heterophobic is not a thing. You can be rude to straight people but you can't be heterophobic, just like you can't be racist to a white person. "Heterophobia" if it were a real thing does no harm, at most it hurts some straight people's feelings when they go on urban dictionary and find out breeder was meant as an insult. Homophobia on the other hand gets people killed, harassed, bullied, suicidal, strips people of their basic rights and is embedded in seemingly innocent things, like jokes or even not mentioned as if it doesn't exist in popular media, and pushing LGBT people out of what is considered acceptable or normal. So while I thank you for what you're saying there, the fact is that heterophobia doesn't exist.

I love this comment

becuase they think being bisexual is a lie.

Anthony Aleong Now that is bullshit and people who that need to get their facts straight.

Those people have insecurities about their own sexuality and for that reason, they support bisexual erasure. The less RJ talks about bisexuality(the less anybody talks about it) the better these bigots feel about themselves and therefore go into denial mode. Biphobics are usually bisexuals in hiding.

Oh - and don't you dare and delete this anywhere soon.

Zeke Krahlin Nitpicking much? I'm acting partly like a...what's the name? Ah.."butch"? I'm driving a motorbike, I am fixing Computers, I am completely helpless with children (but this part gets better due to my nieces), I am wearing boots and workers jeans. So this is affirming that I'm a lesbian instead of being bi? The point is - and this is pointed out pretty good: If *I* am the one who is defining herself as *bi*, then it is simply nobodies business to question it. You are not in my head. You don't know how I feel, how I think. And judging about my "acting" is exactly what people are constantly throwing at homophobes. "Don't judge me by my acting." So, he is acting campy in parts - so does a good friend of mine and he is straight as a pole. Can we now all treat people as "humans" instead of black, white, gay, straight, bi, lesbian, transgender, asian, freaking flying spaghetti monster? Thank you.

Zeke Krahlin So being gay or straight - according to you - is the business of strangers who also are being gay (or straight)? I call bullshit. This is the exact problem we have: People who are caring too much about the sexuality of a person. Whatever a person does, whoever said person is sleeping with: This is not the business of ANY person on this planet aside the two people involved. I am not ignoring that people get bashed for being gay. But you, derailing the fact that bisexuals have their own tiny little problems and aiming to: "BUT THE GAAAYS" is not helping one thing. With your attitude you are happily fulfilling all prejudices about "campy gay divas". Tone it down a bit. Go after those who are *really* your enemy. Like Michelle Bachman or almost any of those bible humping bigots in the bible belt. But here you are actually complaining about things you are agreeing with - they are just not said the way you would like to have. And this is as narrow minded as any homophobic bastard.

Zeke Krahlin Honestly: it is not about "I am the bigger victim" It is about human rights. And people who are just too nosy for their own good. Oh, and it is not "homophobia" it is not "biphobia" or "heterophobia" - those people are not frightened. They are assholes. Period.

Zeke Krahlin Yeah yeah, I got it. You are THE hero and you alone freed all gays. Wanna have a cookie? Sorry. I'm not touching any link with "bible" in it. Bible humpers can go fuck themselves. Bye, sweetie.

I think your last statement is probably true. I believe our sexuality is much more fluid than commonly accepted. The key word is accepted and by that, I mean by society in general. If we were more open to sexual experiences, I think we'd see many more people claiming to be bisexual, perhaps favoring one gender more than the other, but attracted sexually to both.

Sexuality is more fluid then gay, straight, bisexual. The Kinsey scale shows us this. We are still trapped in these stupid labels.

Yeah, labels should be tools, but instead it often feels like we have to "live up to them".

Today being gay is getting more and more accepted so why not also bisexuality? Every bisexual person is different. Ending up in a life-long heterosexual relationship is a possible outcome for a bi person. Or in a homosexual as well. :)

moonunit The Kinsey Scale is a nice example. I wish more people knew about it.

Yes it's true. .u need to be in Hawaii already going barefooted too when I host you!

Fingers crossed...

TheNotAdam WHAT DOES YOUR TATTOO MEAN? Or If you tell us or whatever in a video send a link. I DON'T ENGLISH/ GRAMMAR WELL SO EXCUSE ME, Thanks

Thanks I try :)

sexuality is much more fluid than what most think.. give it enough time and bisexuality would be the norm.

+Elaf Zaid I don't ever think I'll get to that point but thanks so much for saying that 😊

oh, so the reason is your cynicism. okay, continue doing what you do while believing the universe is at your command and give me the pleasure of being among the first 100K of your 1M subs 4 years from now.

I'm telling my friends about him because he's really great

Elaf Zaid he's just so funny

I was super proud of that comparison when it first dawned on me. I love getting epiphanies like those. Thanks for the love :)

I would have to agree with Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) and Chris Evan (either as Captain America or the Human Torch)

Thanks for watching :)

I didn't hear about bisexuality until I got to 13 or 14. I didn't even know what the term gay meant until I was 12 because I'd only ever heard it as an offensive slur. But not knowing about bisexuality made me deny my attraction to girls for a long time because I liked boys too, and didn't think you could like both. It really sucked, and like you said, school doesn't seem to teach anything other that heterosexuality, with a brief mention of homosexuality.

I'm not pansexual (I'm bi) but god that is so stupid. I'm sorry about that kind of shit

Thank you

Grey-aromantic =)

Lindsay Covington Forgive me for sounding rude, but I've never quite understood what Asexual, or indeed Aromantic, means. Care to enlighten me?

No problem! Asexual means I don't feel sexual attraction. Aromantic means a person doesn't feel romantic attraction. I identify as grey-aromantic because I feel a little bit of romantic attraction, but not much.

Oh, I get it now. Cheers for clearing that up!

i thank you for explaining it the way you did cause i didn't see it as orientation and conduct being different till you pointed it out. that was informative ty. i no longer will tease my great friend about his orientation.

I've been getting that a lot. Way more than I expected actually, but I was glad to do it :)

I think bicuriosity, though it may be true for some, is a way to dismiss bisexuality. Unfortunately many people do not understand that sexuality is a spectrum instead of black and white. So even among bisexuals there is variation and they could be attracted to both genders but lean more towards one than the other. My sister is bisexual and definitively more attracted to females than males, but is currently in a committed relationship with a male. Her being in a relationship with a male has not changed the fact she is bisexual since she is still very attracted to females.

vnorthru That makes sense. I have always identified as straight because I've never been with a man, but even though I've never doubted my attraction to women I've often had fantasies about what giving a man a blowjob might be like. I don't think I could ever do anal though, with a woman nor a man.

Eli Mullis It could be that you are bisexual but lean towards females. Actually when my sister came out to me, she started by asking if I had ever questioned my sexuality? I hadn't, I'm a straight female and have never felt a sexual attraction to another female. How you describe your fantasies with males is somewhat similar to how my sister described how she felt about females, although once she accepted she was bisexual she loved the idea of sex with women but didn't think that was acceptable before coming out since we were raised very religious. Since she has accepted being bisexual she is much happier and accepts herself. You need to find what will make you happy, so you may be bisexual but still prefer to be primarily with females. And when it comes to sex, everyone is different in what they like, so if your not comfortable with something then don't do it.

vnorthru That very well could be the case, but I can't say with 100% certainty if it is or not. Like I said I've never been with a man, so to me it seems kind of silly to identify as bi or even "possibly" bi. I'd have to experience it firsthand to determine whether or not I actually like it. I'm very happy with my fianceé now, so I may not find out unless we agree to an open marriage (a topic on which we have already had a rather honest and positive discussion) or get a divorce. All things considered, I'm not particularly worried about it right now.

Eli Mullis And that's fine. Sometimes we get to hung up on labels, which can sometimes confuse things. The thing with sexuality is it is a spectrum and sometimes with labels it is not clear cut. As long as you are happy with who you are then don't worry too much about what to call yourself. Best of luck to you and your fianceé.

This isn't just for him. There are so many people experiencing discrimination like this, being told that their sexuality isn't real.

This video is for anyone who feels discriminated against or misunderstood, not just him. And they don't have 400k subs on their main channel, what are you talking about? They have, like, 150k.

This is the most ignorant and irrelevant comment ever. RJ has not changed at all, he has always been RJ. He has also ALWAYS been bisexual. A bisexual making a video about biphobia? Shocking! I guess that means Tyler Oakley (nor any other gay youtuber with a large amount of subscribers) should never make videos talking about homophobia because they're popular in youtube. How in the fuck does that make any sense to you? A large amount of subscribers does not mean" discrimination no longer exists." Everyone in the lgBt community still suffers from it, and it is disgusting for you to attack a bisexual man for making a video about biphobia. You lose respect and admiration for someone because they chose to make a video in their own damn channel to talk about discrimation? Really? You got issues buddy.

That's not a bad analogy, although I feel a lot of gay guys have the easy ability when they realize they are gay to take the express route or to fly a jet over the station to get where they know they need to be.

BTW James Franco, Leonardo Dicaprio, Dave Franco, Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga and Beyonce...hmmm

I love ScarJo as Black Widow, but oddly the Black Widow from Iron Man 2 is my favorite.

Damn, I had completely forgotten bout that one! Oh but here's something I learned recently... You do know she has a twin brother right? Cha Ching

I'm a straight female and my ex was bisexual. Really the only way our relationship differed from a regular straight relationship was that we'd sometimes fight over our taste in men (his was just dreadful). I feel that if you're constantly afraid of your partner experimenting with others, it's not their sexuality that's the the problem but your trust issues. There's just nothing different.

I've never been attracted to bisexuals and there is no real reason other than I just find gay men more attractive. It's attractive knowing they are gay and that they are like me, so we get each other in that way. When I tell bisexuals that they get pissed and say I'm discriminating and that I hate bisexuals lol. Theres a lot of unnecessary drama surrounding bisexuals.

Siiri Kankaanpää Could not have said it better myself.

Siiri Kankaanpää This world where straight females are happy to sit around talk with their partner about how fit they find other men, really? I wonder why, if you had such an open relationship with your partner, that he is now an ex.

David Kennington Because circumstances can change. It was a good relationship while it lasted and then it ended, not everything in life has to involve drama. :)

Also, just wanted to say HI! And you are as cute as ever.

I'm pan toooo

Darren Criss is life.

+Jenna Thompson Thank you! I'm glad I could help!

facebook.com/groups/229788500544510/249771861879507/ if you haven't already found it.

I hadn't actually, thanks :)