Billy Connolly - Dwarf on a bus - Live in London 2010 

Billy used to pop into my dad's shop near Patrick Glasgow and would always say to my dad...I hope you're paying these weans/ children and he would giggle because he knew my dad never paid us for helping out in the shop after school. Once he bought a box of chocolates and gave them to us. He was always lovely to our dad and my dad enjoyed Billy telling him off

We had a dwarf near us . Not the nicest person I've ever met. One day in the supermarket car park, a woman bumped his car with hers. He got out and came around to see the damage . The woman apologised profusely but he said "I'm not happy " she said " well which one are you then"

My favourite story about being on a Glesga bus. I was up the toon just before Christmas, must have been around 2005 or 2006. I was on the 34 heading for Govan Cross and the bus was on Renfield St. we stop at a bus stop and a young mum, about 30ish gets on with her daughter who would be about 4 or 5. The daughter is wearing a pale blue coat with white fur trim, looking very smart and like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. In her arms she's clutching this HUGE giraffe stuffed toy. So mum gets the tickets sorted and they sit down, mum takes the window seat, little Miss takes the aisle seat, there's no room for the stuffed toy so it's now on it's side in the aisle. The driver checks his mirrors before setting off, sees the giraffe blocking the passage and shouts down the bus " Here hen, ye cannae leave that lyin there", to which Miss Innocence shouts back " Ye f*ckin stupid? It's a f*ckin giraffe, no a f*ckin lion". Took 10 minutes before the driver could stop laughing enough to continue down Renfield Street.

I had a dwarf on my bus a few years ago. When we got to his stop, I pulled up, lowered the bus and opened the door. He walked up to the edge of the bus and jumped. I swear he did it for comedy effect. I hope so, because I nearly wet myself.

I'm a dwarf who actually just got off the bus 20 minutes ago. I much prefer dwarf (the actual fricking English word) to "little person". If someone offers me a seat? Grateful and happy to take it.

The "oh please let it be true" killed me 😂😂😂😂

"There's a difference between a little person and a dwarf. One is a fuckin' dwarf, and they both know which one it fuckin' is." Priceless!!! 🤣🤣🤣

This man is one of the most profoundly funny and intelligent men on the planet! Same as George Carlin was.... best of health Billy and thanks for being YOU!

I've loved Billy for years, there's not a joke that he tells,that's not funny, Wise up people, laugh + enjoy it all. Laffter makes the world go round. He's not gunna be here much longer, where are ya ever get another comedian like him?

The greatest comedian ever, also such a lovely guy. I was lucky enough to meet him at Aberdeen airport one Christmas Eve where he was waiting for his daughter’s flight to arrive. I shook his hand and thanked him for a lifetime of laughter. There will never be another like him 😊❤

This reminds me of a story my Mum told me. She and my older sister was taking the bus. My sister who where about 4 or 5 years then, had the habit of pointing at things she found fascinating or peculiar and then asking mum about it. Now, my mother had told her before the ride that if she found something they could talk about it later at home and not on the bus. My sis agreed and Mum thought she was safe until a dwarf woman went on the bus and my sister pointed at her and with a clear voice said aloud: “We can talk about her later when we get home!” The sh*t kids say!😂 Poor Mum!

Best stand up comedian ever.

If this happened anywhere else but in Glasgow, i'd say "i hope its true", but because it in fact did happen in Glasgow, i'm pretty sure it's a true story lol

As a dwarf myself this the best story to start my day with I have ever had and yes dwarf is correct PC language as we are just dwarfs after all

I watched Billy in Canada with my mother who was born and raised in Glasgow. We never stopped laughing. If you share the same sense of humor it is a beautiful thing. My mother is long gone but I can still hear her laugh.

I’m sure I’ve watched this 100times. 😂

Billy gave a performance in London, Ontario about 10 years ago which my wife and I attended. Billy gave a three hour performance without a break. We never laughed so hard in our lives. Amazing comedian.

The world will be a very sad place when Billy finally leaves us! Please Billy, live for eternity!

I'm from Glasgow and those bus stories are hysterical. When I was getting married, my fiancee and I were taking gifts to our flat. We got on the bus and sat on the side seats, bus is basically empty, past peak hour. I'm sitting next to the pole at the side and I am holding a brass pole off a floor lamp. There is a young policeman sitting opposite me and he is going to the sub station round from our flat. This lady sitting farther up the bus gets up to get off the bus. Evidently bus driver is new, grinding the gears, bus jerking like crazy just as the lady passes me. She grabs hold of the pole from my floor lamp, I was not expecting that, and I let it go. She ends up flat on her back legs up in the air, and she is wondering what the hell happened. I'm hysterical laughing, my husband to be, helps the woman up. She tells him they need to repair the buses, I can't stop laughing. My fiancee drags me off the bus, pole lamp and all and the young policeman gets off as well, 4 bus stops before he should have. Policeman and I end up leaning against the railings of Queens Park laughing hysterically. My fiancee, madder than hell has walked off carrying the shade to the floor lamp. I often wonder how Billy would have told this story. I still laugh when I think about it and that was decades ago.

You never sold yourself short until this performance. A dwarf sized dwarf. Brilliant.

Something about Billy. He could stand there and read the phone book and I'd still be totally engrossed in his delivery. Genius 🙂

Best story teller in the history of story telling.

Why had I never heard of Billy Connelly until just this week? This guy deserves an award of some kind.

Billy Connolly and Robin Williams are the two funniest men who ever lived. Love the Big Yin.

We will never see the like again. Every story a delight to experience, every floor I pick myself up from a joy. Sir Billy, I salute you! 🤏

I just love when Billy starts laughing at what he's hearing himself saying. :D

Days are dark !!!life is dark ! Watch billy please ,he will change it all !!!! God bless billy and your family xxx

Billy is an hysterically funny man. I really love when he and Craig Ferguson get going together and tell stories.

Not even 2 minutes in and I can barely hold myself together. That's the magic of Billy Connolly. Legend.

Billy Connolly has had me in stitches for over 30 yrs, one of the best comedians ever,, ❤️😂😂😂❤️🇦🇺

Currently reading his autobiography. It reads as if he's actually talking. This man is a legend. He's a genius and definitely windswept and interesting

Absolutely genius. From Glasgow myself and no doubt the story will be true. That's what us Glaswegians are like. Billy Connolly at his best.

The brilliant Billy Connelly. Brightening up lives daily.

I have only just realised how fascinating this man really is. Listened to his autobiography whilst working and was totally enthralled with his stories humour life experience and wisdom. He is a real inspiration for anyone who needs inspiration!

the funniest man in the world.He has made so many people laugh and cry with happiness.Thank you Billy

I’m already in hysterics at him saying ‘please be true’ 😂😂

And now Billy will be immortalized as Dain Ironfoot, King under the mountain, thanks to his outstanding performance in The Battle of Five Armies!

It’s the way he embellishes & delivers every joke. He makes a story of every one. Absolutely incomparable. The funniest man ever & a genuine lovely guy 🙏

You are a living LEGEND Billy ,I've watched your video's for ever I'm 61 and I hope you carry on with tv series it's made laugh and ponder afew things you said in them

Your day can be headed to hell in a fury and a dose of Billy will have you laughing to tears.

I saw Billy for the 1st time in the late 80's, and never laughed so hard in my life. No one will ever be funnier.

I've heard this story so many times, but it always has me howling with laughter. All the best, Billy.

Billy is one of the funniest guys on the planet. What a legend.

I swear I could listen to this guy for hours tell all his stories, he is just fucking hilarious. But then I would likely end up in the hospital in stitches LOL One of the best comedians this world will ever have.

There's a special floating around somewhere on RU-vid where Susan Calman meets Billy for the first time and tells him how he inspired her to go into comedy. He could have responded with a joke, and I doubt anyone would have been surprised, and Susan probably would have been okay with it. But he just smiled and said, "That's brilliant." He then went on to tell her how good it felt to know that he'd inspired someone. When it was time to go, she probably floated home.

Billy Connelly gives my life so much laughter Thanks BC

My sister and I would often watch Billie together. We would always laugh so much we couldnt breathe.

This man came into my life when i was impressionable. He's had me in stitches ever since and im now 61. Utterly brilliant at what ever he has turned his hand to. Sorry i missed seeing him live as i now wont get the chance ❤

Probably one of the best observers of life, certainly the best story teller. Thanks Billy.

I had a wee laugh out loud to this for three minutes. Billy's humour and wit dwarfs many of the so-called funny men that plague us today.

Nobody makes me laugh like Billy, Since the first Parky show, never fails!

Please God, let this story be true.

Dwarf on a bus! Straight away you know it’s going to be funny 😄

The most funniest and most recognizable comedian. An adsolute legend. It was a tradition in our house back in the day of VHS at Christmas we'd all gather around and watch and cry with laughter the latest offering from Billy. The memories.🤣👍🏻😂👍🏻😁👍🏻

One of his best!! A friend in England sent me this after he left the States. Had me rolling!! People need to lighten up and quit being so sensitive to jokes I realize some are really made fun of, but if you stop and think about it, we ALL have things that can be made fun of. Fat, skinny, young, old beautiful or ugly. Its just life....

The best Comedian of all time. We love you Billy ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

As he said, please be true. He still has (in my opinion) the funniest ever stand up routine with "An Audience With Billy Connolly" from about 1983/4. The one with The Archers as a new National Anthem for the Olympic team. Pure genius, I have the dvd and cry with laughter every time I watch it.

Oh, I’ve always adored Billy Connelly. He has always simply been one of the master comedians in the world.

Biggest regret in my life when I look back, is never seeing him live! I've watched him since a kid, grown up on him, watched everything he has done! He is my absolute favorite person in the world! X

The fact that Billy really enjoys the fun in his stories himself as well, says it really comes out himself, what makes it so great. Billy, you are and always will be Billy and that's lovely for us.

Always loved Billy. I remember loads of his material and the way he delivered it. The poor family with coats on the bed. Wandering the streets, beer in hand, listening out for parties to crash. All funny as hell.

How refreshing to be made to laugh after reading all the disturbing news on the utube clips. Thanks for keeping it real Billy.

changing the name of the condition doesn't change the condition so glad i was born when i was

I love Billy Connolly, he always made me laugh out loud no matter what even at his blue material. And right now I need to laugh.

Big Yin ..... best ever ...... and in today's world I can't ever see him being surpassed

This story cheers me up when I am depressed.

We all need a good laugh, thank god for Billy Connolly 😅😅

I was wondering where Billy was going with this yarn. I too have had an experience like the folks on the bus. Some time back, pre Covid of course, I was going to pick my better half up from the airport. I was already late and the traffic was backed up. I got distracted for a second and bumped the car in front of me. We both pulled over and I'm thinking, bloody hell this is all I need, when out got the other driver and he was a little person (dwarf?) He looked really pissed off, so I got out and started apologising profusely. He looked at his car, then back to mine and was fuming, I mean huffing and puffing, I kept saying how sorry I was and he looked at me and shouted "I'm not happy!" I replied "which one are you then?" My apologies to anyone big or small, offended by this story.

I got mugged by 6 dwarves last night..... Not Happy!... Lol.

Would give anything to have a few beers with Billy. Be in the presence of greatness but feel like your with an old friend. That's the man he is. Love him.

Thought I heard all off Billy's stories but this one blew my bald head of hair back lmao 🤣 😂 😆

He was a dwarf in The Hobbit. Lol. Billy Connolly is freaking hilarious.

Wee Dwarf😂😂😂pmsl🤣🤣🤣in stitches ☠️☠️☠️

only one legend left and here he is

One of a few who can condense a 10 minute joke into 35 minutes.

I have not seen this before and just have to say Brilliant! I did not see the punchline coming. LOL. John, Australia.

Billy Connolly the most wonderful comedien ever ever. A darn genius.

I'd love to see Billy's take on our current situations .I'm sure it would be hilarious and a great tonic in such a gloomy time ! Special man 😍

Just the loveliest, funniest man. The only joke l can ever remember is one of his ( the story about his dad and prescription windscreens for cars........).....it's years old, and it still makes me laugh out......

I had the absolute honour and pleasure to see Billy a good few years agoThe best comedian I have ever seenA joyous occasion and my sides hurt like hell.It was worth every penny.There will never,ever be the likes of him again.

THIS man is a true legend of LAUGHTER he doesn't have to try and be funny he is a born natural to entertain people God bless BILLY

The Best Ever = Sir Billy Connolly

Thanks very much for giving our years and years of laughs. True Legend 👍 thanks for branching out to your fans. Forever

Presentation and delivery. He has you hanging off every word then Bang, you're on the floor gasping for air.

Billy would have a lifetime's worth of material if he were still going today like this. But with how life and society is going right now... I do 't think even Billy would survive the backlash he'd get! Love Ya' Billy... Thanks for everything!

Must've seen this bit 20 times by now... I know how it unfolds, still gets me every time. I also do hope it's true, the big Glasgow woman should get a comedy award for that.

If you’ve lived in Glasgow, or you’re from there, you know that this story is totally true!🤣🤣🤣

Billy! Simply the best comedian of our time!

The first time I saw Billy was on TV in the early eighties doing a show in his banana boots. I would've been about 12 or 13. Crackup funny! Have been a fan ever since. Absolutely my favorite comedian. Will be a sad day when he does finally leave us.

There are life lessons in Billy’s humour and I especially love how unfiltered it is. He just tells you what he sees and hears. His brain is a fascinating and beautiful thing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lol lol 😆fabulous, Jesus he shortens a long working day 🤣😄

I adore this man.

Went to his show here in Vancouver some years back. Had a prime seat and laughed til my face hurt. Observant and screamingly funny. Best money I've ever spent

"you know when you laugh and your legs won't work right?"..........constantly Mr. Connolly...it was the reason that I had to watch your shows more than once...hot damn I wish that I had the honor to seeing him live....

Billy makes me start smiling with mirth as soon as he walks on stage and before he has said anything. Probably the funniest comedian and raconteur I have ever heard. Bless you for bringing so much joy to so many people. Such a shame that we don't have anyone that comes close to his humour and humility in this day and age.

You, dear sir, are eternally Brilliant!❤️❤️❤️

I can't tell you how many times I've watched this.

I'm ugly cry-laughing. This is absolute gold!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Loved Billy’s shows and his tv specials.

By far, the funniest stand up comedian who ever lived…!! Bless you Billy..!