👉👉JOIN MY PRIVATE WELLNESS COMMUNITY HERE: www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors 👈👈 ➡️ Contact me directly ➡️ Join LIVE support groups ➡️ Access exclusive content ➡️ Support a good cause ❤ -Rob
My boyfriend is bp and it's so hard to stay sane myself. It's hard to not take the hurtful stuff he says to me to heart. It's hard to forgive the damage.
I unfortunately say very hurtful things to others. My tongue can do damage. It has caused me a lot of problems. Now I try to speak as much love as possible. He knows my heart tho that I don’t have a mean bone its just I can’t seem to tame my tongue.
I say awful things to my partner, the guilt is so awful. It makes you want to die. I’m sorry you are in the path or destruction. People in our lives don’t deserve it. But it’s the hardest and worst part of it and what kill me the most slowly. I don’t him personally but I know I feel guilt 24/7.
I am bipolar and I have been there where I say only hurtful things or cruel words..please understand it is the illness that is talking..not the person..blame the illness ..not the person..once they come out of your delusions they themselves feel so guilty and ashamed
What's hard is seeing someone you love turn into a ghost right in front of you because they are unwilling to get treatment and they are paranoid accusing me of cheating and saying such horrible hurtful things over and over. The person who you fell in love with is gone.
Hi Rebecca. I’m really glad I saw your comment… I just want to empathize and send some love… I often mention how we can be the hardest on our partners. I recently came out with a video that talk about 10 tips when someone is in denial. If you haven’t seen it yet, consider checking it out. There’s also a book I’d like to recommend called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. It’s quite brilliant. It’s written by someone who lives with the illness. Please don’t forget your self-worth and be firm in setting boundaries (I know, easier said than done). If you would like to connect, there’s a link in the video description where I can be reached directly through Patreon. I hope you have a peaceful remainder of the week and stop by the channel anytime. -Rob
I’ve been in a relationship with someone who is bipolar for five years. Only recently due to some adversity have we really started talking about it. And this is due to a recent diagnosis. I’m really trying to educate myself. It’s definitely hard sometimes. But I’m gonna do everything I can to be supportive and love unconditionally. She did it for me during some of the lowest point of my life.
I dated a girl who's bi-polar for a short time. I tried to work with her to understand her point of view better. One day she would be the sweetest person ever. The next day, she would treat me like I was just an inconvenience to her life. I couldn't stay with her after seeing her angry side. I was pushed to my limit and had to leave. A friend of mine, who is also bi-polar, explained that she may have been experiencing a manic low, the day I was lashed out on, and ended the relationship, but that it doesn't excuse her actions. I'm seeing a lot of comments where people say that they say mean things to their partners and regret it later, that it's the illness and not the person. I could have worked with her if she communicated to me "hey, I'm in a low so I may need more space" but instead she said "I don't want you to come over and if you can't respect that, then I NEVER want you to come over again." When all I did was express that I was confused and felt hurt that she was suddenly pushing me away, out of the blue. I was patient until I heard the mean tone in her voice say those words. I'm naturally a non-confrontational person and rarely ever get angry or lose my temper in relationships. She would make indications that I was too sensitive and I truly believed that everything was my fault. I'm fine working with highs and lows, as long as the communication is respectful and non-confrontational. But she's an adult and is responsible for her words and actions. Those actions resulted in me leaving the relationship because mental illnesses do not excuse mean behavior. I, myself struggle with severe depression and anxiety. But I'm medicated, have a therapist and have learned healthy communication skills. I hold myself accountable for my actions and don't blame it on my mental illness.
Yep im Saving myself snd getting away from mine. It has destroyed my life my work my mental health years of it. I now take meds and do so much to try to dig out of the hell hole ive been buried in due to taking on this person's issues. Its destroyed me as a person
I am just now looking into bipolar disorder and I think my bf may be bipolar. Everything you described is my situation. Somedays he will be the sweetest and when he gets mad he gets so cold and mean… it feels like an emotional roller coaster and it’s tiring, but I love him.
I have a fwb situation going on and tbh his constant emotional behavior completely exhausted me. He would deny doing everything I said he was, like the passive aggressiveness etc... and within 6 months I couldnt bare to even talk to him about it anymore.. the expression "banging my head into a brickwall" really made sense after trying to deal with his behavior. When I decided he was just too tocix to have in my life and told him the fwb thing was done he went completely nuts... became insanely vicious and vindictive and re scaring the hell out of me. Im waiting for something bad to happen.. like him contacting my family or work to try and get back at me. Scary stuff man :( This is actually the second time Im going through this. a friend told me "he has a disorder, its not his fault.. try talking to him and see if you can get him to get treatment" and what a damn mistake this has turned out to be. Just reliving the last 9 months while writing this post is causing anxiety and frustration in me even though hes not even here. He literally exhausted me.
Annabelle Lecter Lolol! That’s great. Love the comment. I have a lot of respect for you and your boyfriend. Relationships like that are either amazing, or clashing. If you both have empathy and “know what it’s like,” that can go such a long ways. I’m really glad you found my channel and you both are very welcome here :-)
After 10 years of marriage and 3 kids she divorce me. So I became a stock trader and I now live in the woods at my farm with lots of adopted cats from the state pond. I will never give my heart to anyone again just my cats 🐈.
Exactly how I feel. Relationships for me is just setting myself up because while in crisis or cycling, I say things, but what comes out of my mouths is usually taken wrong and others don't understand and push me away and I don't understand why. So rather live in pain and confusion, I totally have pushed everyone away because I don't want to hurt anyone. I carry enough pain for one lifetime. It's lonely having little human contact. But my animals help me to survive and it's ok by them, if I talk to them and it's ok with them, just to be fed and loved. I adore them.
Damn this hits me. Been married almost 2 years was asked to leave 2.5 months ago. I Stayed in a hotel knowing my wife wants me home but a toxi mother in law who triggers my wife and doesn't want us to be married makes this so hard. Today I signed a lease and next will move out with my 2 cats this is horrible but I have to take care of me. The worst part was the back and forth of saying come home then instantly change to I want a divorce. Even though our seperation was mainly my fault I know my Wife needs to be away from her toxix parents so maybe getting my own place will help. I know at the very lest my life will have some normalcy with my own place. I love my wife But I love me too !!!
It's hard. I'm married to a man who is bipolar. I'm considering divorce. I have tried to understand by researching, I've made excuses for him, I've tried for 19 years! I'm tired! I have high blood pressure, and anxiety, is it good for me to stay with someone who's mood changes like a drop of a hat? Someone who goes off on you for the smallest things? This has been going on for 19 years... I'm tired. I want stress free and drama free. My health is the most important thing. He stresses me out. So what should I do? Stay to support him, or take care of my own health? I see divorce being the only way to get peace and I can live happy, and not hurt my health by the stress. A person with anxiety and high blood pressure issues, and someone who is bipolar is a horrible mix.....
My problem is that my girlfriend is bipolar. She told me this shortly after we met. I didn't blow it off necessarily but I didn't think much of it because I have heard it a million times from people who pretty much self diagnosed themselves. We recently hit a rough spot in our relationship and I still didn't put 2 and 2 together until I was talking to a friend of mine and I mentioned it and he told me he had been in a relationship with a girl who is bi-polar for 4 years. And so many things he said made so much sense then I realized I really screwed up. I didn't know she was actually diagnosed as bi-polar. So I have been researching this over the last couple of weeks and I have learned a lot. She messaged me today (after 2 weeks of no contact essentially) asking if she can call me later. I told her "of course! I get off work at 5 so I am free after that". I hope I handle this the right way when/if she calls me.
soo painful. im strong and im an empath. ive hung on for 11 yrs.....but dang!!!!! its so hard and so draining.......mine won't even get on medicine to help make it easier on me. sigh.
Don't ghet any better been there for 30 years and 3 kids . Same thing don't want to take meds . When I retire I will get on my bike and ride in to the sunset . RUN NOW BEFORE YOU WASTE ALL YOUR LIFE .
19years for me hun and my guy self medicates and stops taking his meds and drinks and goes in and out of hospital. I'm getting really really tired of it all. I've been here ths long due to my empathy aswell.
Loving a person with bipolar disorder is the worst feeling I have ever experience. I am not sure if he is or not but I need help he withdraw from me for no reason. he gets angry for no reason. he sleep a lot and sometimes he cant sleep. We barely have sex . I am suffering so much because I am not sure if he is or not .
I have been married to someone who is BP for almost 12 years. We love each other dearly and deeply care and love … basically I can’t say enough of how much we love and are devoted to each other but still finally we are talking about separation. We love each other but even though on lithium, God oh God it is so hard. Sometimes I feel I am not just married to someone who goes manic or depressed but every manic and depressed is different….if you want your sanity don’t take this like it is mild little thing to manage. It is harddddddd. We love each other so much that we might not even separate but God it is hard
Folks, just don't do it unless you're a glutton for punishment. I was married to a bipolar woman and got to see it all first hand. When she was manic, things were great: she banged like a wild animal, fulfilled all her duties as a mother and housewife without issue, and we managed to accomplish things I could only dream of doing alone. The flip side of this, however, more than negated the good times: constantly arguing over the tiniest things, crying for any reason or no reason at all, freaking out to the point that the police nearly got involved on multiple occasions, disappearing for days at a time, drug issues, and finally just taking off with our kid one day while I was at work and not coming back which ultimately resulted in our divorce. I developed a pretty serious drinking problem during our time together, which I've thankfully since overcome. She remarried and is just as crazy as ever. Don't try to "save" someone who doesn't want help. Even if they really DO want help, make sure you go into it knowing that you will probably fail.
Thank you for your honest perspective. I'm with a bipolar man six years... I refuse to have a child with him or at all because of my own issues and also seeing his bipolar and not thinking it's fair to drag someone else into my suffering. Sometimes it's great. Exactly as you described he will get on drugs act reckless and buzzes for two days then comes down and for weeks takes so much time being in a depressive state. Emotionally and mentally abusive says he knows he needs meds but then when I get serious about booking him in starts refusing profusely. The only thing keeping me here is we share a house and financial burden but it's getting to the point where losing everything financially would be more relief then living another year like this.
My wife has bipolar and it’s getting worse. I don’t know what to do, I love her so much but when she’s in a manic state she can be so hurtful and it’s breaking me down to nothing. I don’t know how to avoid it, how to help her, it’s destroying our marriage. Our dating life was hard and I feel like if I saw the signs and acted on it that we may not be together and this kills me to realize. I’m a very loyal person and so I never gave up. I’m so tired though, I feel like she’s my best friend one moment and then my worst enemy the next.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care. Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Living with someone that has Bipolar! In my opinion it's like a Gift @ A Curse!! When the relationship is right everything is going fine.... But when the Bipolar kicks in EVERYTHING I MEAN EVERYTHING!! Is totally different...
Great video. I'm lucky to be in a loving relationship of 13 years. He supports me as best as he can and I do my best to treat him right (I'm the one with Bipolar).
13 years is AMAZINGI I'm so happy for you! Educating your partner on Bipolar Disorder is so valuable... They can often see signs of a crash or mania that we can't. I'm so grateful for my partner too! -Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors
I'm on 13 years with my bipolar spouse too. We only recently got the diagnosis and the diagnosis has helped because now we have a better understanding of what has been going on. Yay for patient spouses.
Both my husband and I have Bipolar, I have I, he has II. Our symptoms are so completely different! I can see how his moods work, but he doesn’t really understand mine. We have to work really hard at making things work, sometimes, because he can go off on me (verbally) for the simplest things. He’ll eventually apologize, but I’ve had to learn to ignore my hurt feelings til he does.
Cynthia Merritt God I can so relate Cynthia. My partner is also dealing with struggles and when we are both crashing, the s*** hits the fan LOL. We've definitely gotten a good "language of love" down between us, where we can really communicate in a healthy way, or know when not to. It definitely took a lot of time to get there and it absolutely to both of us being responsive. It can be almost impossible if one person is willing to work on treatment and the other one isn't. I remember I used to keep telling my partner "we are going to grow together or grow apart, and I prefer the first one." We broke up several times until we finally found a good balance. I'm so glad we made it through and I wish the exact same for you. I would love to hear how your relationship is going, so please keep me posted in the comments. I think it is fantastic that you both at least understand what the other person's struggles are. I have dated A few people who just couldn't understand what it was like to go through what we do. Empathy is so important to me and especially communication. Anyway, I am totally rooting for you and keep me posted :-) welcome to the channel! -Rob
Polar Warriors Rob, we’ve been together nearly 28 years, and married 27 (the 26th is our 27th anniversary). I’m hoping it’s safe to say we’re going to make it until the “death do us part” comes. It honestly doesn’t feel like we’ve been together this long, lol. Maybe a few years, but nearly 30? Nah!!! Hang in there with your partner, it’s worth it! My oldest son has been with his partner about 10 years. He’s got ADHD & sometimes depression, and his partner has issues as well, but doesn’t feel he needs treatment, sadly. It does cause intermittent problems in their relationship.
Cynthia Merritt Wow! I am so happy for you! You are one of the very small minority of success stories like that. I'm really proud of you guys. I definitely hope to have the same thing someday and I'm doing everything I can to maintain a beautiful and stable relationship ❤️😊☀️👍
My partner of five years is type 2 and I am type 1. I totally relate to you. The two variations are so very different. He is unmedicated and keeps saying he was misdiagnosed. I can relate to the rage and the apologies you speak of. I try to understand he doesn't mean to get so angry so quickly, but at times it gets daunting having to check his behavior. I am too afraid not to take my medication in fear of another psychotic/hallucinatory event.
I am not sure what is like to be Bipolar but I know what it feels like to love someone who has Bipolar... One word ...HELL. 17 years of pure hell... The hottest part of Hell. I say, if I were to die and go to hell, It will take Me three weeks to realise that I am in hell for real... I'm so used to being tormented and abused daily by my husband. I love him so much..but the pain of loving him is too much. I can never understand what he goes through living with bipolar, I wish I could help him... But at the same time... It's like try to love a demon.
You are very correct Portia... We usually cause the most damage to our partners (because they are around us the most and we assume that they will "still be there in the morning after the storm"), and immediate family. I've ruined my share of relationships before I got treatment and carry a lot of guilt because of that. I hope someday your husband can find a balance that helps both of you live a healthier life. I'm glad you are here learning about the illness and I hope some of my videos help =) You are very welcome here.
Polar Warriors Thank You for the response, I really appreciate it. I am trying to educate myself about Bipolar and trying to find ways to cope, survive and also how to handle my husbands episodes. I just wish He can accept that "We" have a problem and need help. Thanks, again
Portia Fuzeh i’m so glad I could help some. I really hope your husband eventually get tired of the cycles and does something about it. I really know how exhausting it can be on our partners. Be strong and remember to take care of YOU. :-)
Aaron Erikson absolutely, and I’m sorry if you are seeing the darker side of Bipolar. We can definitely be the hardest on our partners, that’s for sure. I think it’s really good that you are watching videos and trying to learn more about it. That will make a huge difference. There is a book I’d like to recommend that really impacted my Life and I can attribute much of the success of my relationship to it. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You could grab a cheap used copy on eBay or something if you’d like. It’s a really great book.😊 I don’t check my comments on RU-vid all the time because of how many I get. I wish I could, but I will include a link below if you would like a way to always get a hold of me. I will always do my best to answer questions and help as many people as I can :-) -Robert www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I believe my girlfriend is bipolar abs when it’s great it’s great but the smallest or simplest things will change and we’ve been together in and off for four years. We’ve talked about marriage but I think this is something she’s never addressed and I want to see her through this. She’s called me her soul mate and I feel the same and won’t give up on her. So anything helps.. thank you
I’ve gotten that from my partner. We go through break up cycles almost monthly & the things said scare me every time. Been together for 5 years now. I’ve also been told I’m the one who needs to seek therapy for a learning disability, which is what I spent years doing as an adolescence anyways. Hope that helps a little.
I am bipolar, Yes, it may be overwhelming at times.. just do not listen, do not question this.. try to make a cup of tea and be somewhere around. When we push away we need you the most!
@@michellekruger188 THIS IS SO TRUE! And it is so hard and so painful to go through the period where they are distant and completely cut you off. I've never experienced anything like it in my life.
My ex spouse hid his disorder from me. He was a serial cheater and denies there’s anything wrong with him. I would have helped him with treatment if he would have come to me and told me he was struggling. Instead he cheated, lied and became really abusive. Sometimes people don’t want help and need to come to the end of themselves. I pray for him everyday and our children are stuck in the middle. Your videos help me understand and educate myself for the future.
Yes I have gone through the same after 20 years of being with him. If only I had known about this and he was willing to talk about it I would have still been there for him with all my love. But he has chosen to move on with another partner so I just had to let go.
Donna Ducote I am so very sorry to hear that. I have gone through the same thing so my heart goes out to you. It is called dysphoric mania or hypersexuality which is one of the more damaging aspects of bipolar disorder. I've seen it destroys so many relationships. You are Way better than someone who disrespects you like that. It is just unacceptable. Thank you so much for watching my videos and taking the time to comment. It really means a lot to me.😊
I’m going through the same shit for 20 years with a 10 year old . Im to the point were I’ve lost my own identity. It takes an iron man to pull through. I understand bipolar is fked up but we the caregivers take a big toll emotionally
One thing about your channel i don’t understand? How does it not have a million likes?! I’d like it a million times if i could lol! I am trying to learn about this bc my wife was just diagnosed recently with bipolar II and all your videos have been really helpful. Just a few months ago i thought there was no hope, but with understanding what’s going on by reading and watching videos like this it really makes me feel so optimistic about the future so thank you so much. Good job bro!
Johnny Abbitt Thank you so much for the support and kind words! I actually just started the channel a little over three months ago and I can’t believe the response I’ve gotten so far. It’s been incredible for me, my family, and friends who have been encouraging me to do this for a long time now. Being in a relationship with someone who has bipolar can be so unbelievably challenging to say the least… Since you are the partner, there is a book that will absolutely blow your mind and change your perspective on everything… It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. I picked up a copy of it for pretty cheap on eBay used… That book can offer you more information than you can imagine. It has profoundly changed my life and the way I treat my partner. I couldn’t recommend it enough. If you are a reader, check that one out. It could make all the difference in the way you understand your partners behavior :-)
Your content has been so helpful to me as a recently diagnosed person with Bipolar disorder. I always knew I was Bipolar but did not want to accept the diagnosis. My mother is Bipolar as well as her mother. It is so hard to describe the mania episodes and I always tried hard to be perceived as normal because I feel anxious and emotional over the little things. People told me I care too much about what others think, feel or do. Well, yes because I am a RN and it worked well in my favor as a ED nurse. Now, I am in the corporate world but I don't fit in as well because my mania was being triggered by outside influences which are out of my control. I am doing the work to learn more about myself and my diagnosis because I do not accept Bipolar disorder to be my label. We are so much more than an ICD-10 diagnosis on a claim or in a medical record. The trick is getting the help: therapy, medication along with a strong resolve to LIVE which includes the roller coaster of emotions. Team Polar Warriors!
I suffer from bipolar type 2. My mom had bipolar schizoaffective disorder (she died 3 years ago). I saw the abuse first hand. And although I know I am not my mother, I push people away to protect them. I never want to hurt someone or be hurt by someone due to my illness and it is a fear of mine.
I think that’s relatively common. A lot of comments on here say that their partner pushes them away…mine does the same. I think it’s because he loves me though. He doesn’t want to hurt me when he’s at his worst so he leaves. It’s hard and I don’t think I’m going to make it through it with him but I do forgive him and wish him the best. I know he’s a good person at his core. It’s not his fault. I wish you the best too, whoever you are.
Pushing people away who are willing to fight the fight with you actually hurts them more. Teamwork makes the dream work. 💜 What partners of bp people need is the positive reinforcement and intimacy - share the love to keep us going.
I'm in a relationship for two months with a girl who has bipolar. In this span i was able to see her worst. It can be physically and mentally draining for me but i want to continue and be there for her. Thank you for all the tips.
The0826man I’m sorry to say this, but having been married to someone with bipolar 1 for 16 years, please tread lightly with this relationship. It is long, hard, heartbreaking and terrifying. I hate to say that, but from MY experience, it’s been very hard with lots of ups and downs. I have done everything in my power to help, but, sometimes rational actions and reasoning will help one time, and not the next. It is an exhausting battle. It is a constant emotional rollercoaster, even with someone who is diagnosed and medicated. I truly love my husband, but I wish I would have been better prepared for what all would be required of me and the turmoil that would become my life. We had been married for 10 years when he was diagnosed and the pain I’ve been through takes my breath away sometimes. Even through counseling, understanding the disease, etc. I like to listen to these videos bc they are informative, but sometimes makes me frustrated bc we are supposed to have so much understanding for the bipolar loved one in our lives, how their actions are part of the disease, etc, however, what about the person on the other end? Who deals with may forms of abuse?? Wether their painful words and actions were not “how they really feel or think” when they are experiencing mania or depression, it still hurts terribly.
joey1975ish Excellent advice. I've been married to my husband who's bipolar II for about 10 years now. I honestly can't take it anymore (hence why I'm here in RU-vid looking for some insight and advice). It's too painful and unfair. Yes, unfair. I would strongly recommend that anyone starting a relationship with a bipolar individual educate themselves about the disorder. Read many forums and comment sections like these which are filled with first hand experiences. We aren't exaggerating, it really is that hard to live with someone with bipolar disorder.
@@joey1975ish reading you breaks my heart even more, my husband of almost 15 years had his first manic episode a month ago, it’s been a nightmare I cannot wake up from, I’m in denial of his new self, I’m mad at life, at everything around, I feel like he died in front of my eyes and someone else is using his body, never been so lonely in my entire life, he is barely home, hard to start a conversation, it’s draining my mind. How did you found the strength to let your husband go? I still love mine so much, I’m afraid he can harm himself since he tried it before during depression, but he asked me for the divorce sadly we are not compatible anymore, can you please share a hint of the steps you took to get ready to move on?
I've come to a point where I just want to jump off a cliff. It's tough, especially because I'm dealing with my own depression and anxiety. The sudden verbal outbursts and the lack of communication are taking a toll on me. Until recently, I didn't even know he had bipolar disorder, let alone the specific type. It's frustrating because I've been the one trying to support him, but he often treats me like an opponent he needs to fight. All the efforts I've made, from tracking his mood to educating myself, sometimes feel like they're going to waste. He has broken up with me more than 5x now and I honestly don’t know what to do.
I have known my man for 2 months and fell in love with him. The very first time for us, I realized there was something wrong and told him “you are all over the place, what’s going on?” He told me he was bipolar and I started to educate myself. He took a control of me, kept reprimanded me over the smallest thing. I was “ignorant”, “uninformed”, “never listen”. I felt drained and started sleeping in my guest bedroom when I could not take his put downs anymore. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and said some hurtful things to him and told him to leave my home. We’ve been talking on the phone and it will take a while to stop hurting and heal my heart, but he rides the negative wave and still feels he has to educate me. I am a successful business woman with my own company. I can’t fight and walk on eggshells. It’s very hard to be in a relationship with a bipolar person.
Me too. My daughter is bipolar and when she takes Adderal all bets are off. And she is addicted. She almost died and I'm afraid she still will. I would never have a bipolar partner. She has taught me to be afraid. It's too much.
I'm dating a bipolar woman right now and I'm really trying with her and like you, sometimes I sleep in my home office just to stay away from her. It's gotten so bad that I can see the writing on the wall. I don't think she can change, and at this point in life, neither will I. I have a heavy workload in my life and dealing with the over emotional, clingy crying over nothing behavior is too much for me. I'm just not capable of managing someone's mood swings and being the best version of myself at the same time. I know she's gonna loose her $hit when I start to back away and let her go.
I am currently at a crossroads in my life. I have been with my wife for 7 years. For the first 3 she was undiagnosed. I went through hell wondering what I have done wrong as I was emotionally assaulted on a cyclical basis. I tried so incredibly hard to be patient and fix myself because I felt like I was wrong all the time. After she was diagnosed we went through hell as she was cycled through several different medications. These years have weighed heavily on me, and she has supposedly finally reached a good place with her medication, which I believe to be mostly true, but I feel so incredibly burnt out and mentally exhausted. I felt like I was going to take my own life just a week ago. She has been in pain because she knows of that feeling I had and that I've gotten to the point that I feel like I want out. I feel terrible for causing her this pain, but I also want my pain to stop. And I feel like if we stay together my pain will never stop, the damage to my psyche had been done early on and I don't know if I can recover with us together. I feel lost, I feel guilty, I feel hurt, I feel like a traitor to her feelings and expectations. I don't know what to do. I feel like I owe it to her to try and fix things by going to counseling, but I don't even know if I want to try and fix us after all the pain we have been through.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏 Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Honestly, it’s impossible! At some point there just isn’t fixing the relationship to much damage has occurred. I’ve been separated from my ex for 3 months and I’ve finally been able to wash the dishes without a panic attack. It’s almost as if everything in my life triggers some sort of emotional distress and it’s exhausting! I wish I left sooner… I became a person I never wanted to be and now I am rebuilding myself.
What can help us partner if you love someone with a bipolar disorder is by reading the book called Loving Someone with a Bipolar Disorder by Julia Fast
It's really hard for me to not be avoidant to protect myself. I tend to want to "appease and avoid." Make him happy, give him his favorite meal or candy...and then find a way to hide by running errands, cleaning, or "studying."
Hi Lilah! I totally get what your saying. Sometimes by not addressing issues it's like kicking the can further and further until things explode. I have a great video for friends and family that talks about making sure your cup is filled first. If your loved one is resistant to the idea of therapy or a support group, then consider it for yourself. Take gentle care friend🙏🌞 - Rob For additional content and more direct contact consider joining us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thank you so much for your help and your time. It means a lot to me. My husband is not well and for the past three years, it has been hard on me. The last 6-8 months have been the hardest time. I lost my peace of mind. I'm always anxious and his outbursts are directed at me and our kids and it is so heartbreaking...they are scared and confused. He treatened to sold our home a minute and the next he talk about redoing the landscaping....im about to lose my mind...
I’m so sorry to hear that Mel. I know it can be extremely hard to be on the receiving end of a bipolar relationship. If you ever need some extra support, there’s a link in the video description where you can contact me directly. I hope you have a peaceful week and stop by the channel anytime :-) - Rob
Hi @melcalderon1332 may I know how you deal with your husband. I'm on your same situation right now. My husband is on his episodes and doesn't want to his meds or see his doctor.
What to do if my bipolar ex want me but at the same time struggle? I can feel he treasures me but he plays hot and cold and being introvert. it’s really hard for me to feel he’s paying efforts to get us closer.
L C if he isn’t getting treatment and has a diagnosis, that could be the main reason. Bipolar is a progressive illness that can get worse over time if it isn’t treated, so if he doesn’t get help, things could definitely get worse. I think it’s great that you are learning more about it. That will help the relationship a lot by having someone who knows what to look for. Stop by my channel anytime :-) -Robert www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
You are going have to have a lot of patience, love and understanding to live with the torture, or get the hell away. I'm standing by my love one side, because I know what she's going thru and when it's over I got to be there for her because I'm all she has and she knows I'll never turn my back on her. Right now she claims she's in another state and is working with some people that going to help her with marketing her crochet, this is what she told me after a month of me being ghosted, she still a little manic but at least she communicating with me without cussing me out and telling me I sabotaged her job, etc. She's been communicating for a few hours these last two days even called my mother and talked to her for a hour or so, I'm still getting ghosted but at least she communicating and not saying senseless and mean stuff. It's a serious matter, we've been together for 9 years, I usually get ghosted for at least a month give or take a few days during each year. Stand tall or Run the choice is yours, not theirs, the cycle goes on and on and on. They will never get better a episode will come about, it can make you laugh and cry at the same time.
I came across this video when I realized that I just spent two weeks *dating* a person that has been going through their manic phase. All the symptoms are very clear, he would be showering me with gifts and flowers spending lots of money every night obsessing with me over the phone and texts, never stop talking he didn’t sleep much he was full of energy all the time I just assumed he was a happy person but then I started to think maybe he is on Coke, but then a sudden change happened. Once he started to ghost me out out of nowhere, and if I ask a question he just ignores me but then I sent him a video about symptoms of bipolar disorder he actually got mad at me. Saying that it’s better for me to watch some videos about how to be in a relationship and accusing me of the things that I never did. Anyways I’m assuming maybe he’s got a family and probably now he’s going through a depression phase, don’t wanna bother him and hoping that he is getting the help that he needs. But I am just curious was any of that real at all? Or he might as well been speaking to the medical employee at the hospital the whole time it’s all the same thing for him? Do you think he actually remembers our relationship and what was going on during those couple weeks ? or its all a blur for him and he was like a totally different person from what he normally is like. Did anyone meet their partner during the manic phase? Or is it like a different person at all that got nothing in common with what your partner is normally like.
Unfortunately that is an all too familiar story. When we are in an episode our emotions are absolutely real....very real, that is the problem. We don't always know we are in an episode. I know it easier said than done but please don't take it personally. Some people are in denial and/or resisting treatment. I'm sorry you had that experience. Thank you for sharing your story🙏 - Rob For additional content and more direct contact consider joining us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Me I am going true the very same as u did rotten feeling for the past 5 years but I think this year it will be the end off it I just can't handle her I think she don't want me help her or she doesn't even try wit me even doh we have to kids together only for taht I think I would off moved on long ago it's sad what they do go true and suffer with .... Thanks again for the videos wish u all the best
I started dating a girl with bipolar while her hypomanic state. She was energetic, ambitious, generous, kind , joyous and caring. After dating for a month and a half she proposed me for marriage. I happily accepted her proposal. The preparations for marriage started in both the families. And suddenly she changed. She became a strange person. She started criticizing me and my family for very small things. her moods were changing drastically. one moment she said she love me, another moment she said she don't love me. I realized that something is wrong with her. I discussed with a doctor friend and he told me that this is bipolar disorder. I googled it and I was shocked. I read too many people sharing their experiences with bipolar spouse. I was so lucky that it happened before the marriage. I wish her good health. She is really a very good person in her manic mood but the opposite is like hell. The trauma of this is so bad that I decided to live single forever. I am afraid of relationship. Thank God I am out.
Learning what caused my confusion and troubles 30 plus years ago when my wife "changed". One year confused and alarmed by her behavior. Separated two and a half years then divorce. Tried to get her to get help but no way , she still suffer's. It's a you can lead a horse to water but can not make them drink.
Its really difficult for me to get my boyfriend to believe the extremes i went and things i said, the suicide thoughts and threats, i hurted him a lot during this process not accepting my bipolar came and switched my life upside down,always cycling at any given moment, so explosive then this powerful crash into the void of depression. I always try to send him this kind of videos like this one so he can feel that my actions arent personal abd i tried telling him all my triggers so he could help me in my time of need.
My husband has bipolar same exactly like his mother, significant mood changing , over confidence, financial abuse, suddenly happy and changes when he got irritated , and very dangerous for me and our sons. Struggling for 23 years married, try hard divorcing him now. Trying commit suicide many of time, flirting with my cousins and friends and saying he’s not. He has good position but none of his friends noticed that he has bipolar because of smart playing charming and friendly, but negative talking always blames his boss and colleagues from his own mistakes. Enough is enough. I wont my life tragic like his big brother and big sister was died causing by his mother angered . Bipolar cannot be cure no matter you try to change or help them.
interesting comment. my now ex had a daughter with bipolar. he had depression. I was suspicious he was narcissistic but his behaviours are falling under this too. he seems very covert narcissistic but he has an ex he cannot get over and he lost me to his sneaky texts etc to her. so he perhaps can't be narcissistic as he has genuine love for her I believe. he's very abusive. flirts. lies. terrible with money. angry. High and low. difficult. everything in the relationship was about him..
Yip I also try to limit my life and manage it accordingly to what I can control but my husband always say try otherwise you'll never know.....most of the times NO
I am feeling resentful towards my husband. Our relationship is toxic. How can I feel love when he crosses our boundaries? How do I feel loved when he lashes out on me for pointing out the dysfunctional? He deflects
I fell inlove with my girlfriend whom is bipolar. She made me aware of it the first day we met. HONESTY, just one example of her qualities that I love! Yes, we've had many highs and lows but being understanding of what she is going through at that certain time helps tons. Like you said, sometimes we need to slow down and walk ALL the way around that elephant! For me the hardest part is seeing her having to deal with side effects from certain medications.. like this weird jaw pain she gets at times that is hard to explain.. I am left there feeling helpless because all I want to do is help.. but there is nothing I can do to remedy it. Besides hugs and cuddles. And if thats what it takes I will hug n cuddle the Sh*t out of her. Haha. Thank you for making this video and shedding some light. And to all other spouses, life partners, friends.. remember. There is no cure for being bipolar. We must be open with one another in order to trust one another. Honesty + Trust = love.
Casey Ouellette Not yet, but I definitely will! Thank you so much for the suggestions! I'm really excited about my channel growing and I will keep adding more and more topics. Stop by anytime and I really appreciate you taking the time to watch my videos and interact with the channel😊😊😊
Yes my husband wants to know this as well. I recently got so OUT there with hypomania that I was willing to break up my marriage over it. What can He do to get thru to me. I do not want to listen to him.
My girlfriend with bipolar is also paranoid about getting cheated on because of her dad, she will say the meanest most heartless shit when it comes to my feelings and completely ignores how any of it makes me feel.
Hi, thank you for your videos. My husband is bipolar, too... We've been married for 31 years. He's been suffering this illness (or at least it became more visible) after I a got pregnant with our second baby, that was 29 years ago. It was extremely hard for me for me many years, and it's only been three years ago that I started to understand more the illness and how to cope, but I'm not yet that good at it...
What about an elephant that doesn't believe they're shitting on you or that they are hitting you with their tusk bc they don't perceive it that way? That wants to believe the blind man is hostile just for existing some days, is there any advice for that?
I have been with my husband 22 years. He understands to a degree. More now than before. He put up with a lot. Things most wouldn’t understand. With treatment I still get depressed but not really manic. The manic episodes were what was really harming our marriage
Paused at 42secs. I am not bipolar and I'll answer what it's like having bipolar. It sucks I love it. You hit both ditches on each side of the road, your mind will destroy all you worked so hard to accomplish sending you into a bed ridden depression that shuts everyone out because you have zero strength left to even breathe, the baggage you carry gets heavier with time, and everyone eventually leaves because they do not understand your mind can get just as sick as any other part of you. 18yrs with a bipolar wife. We didn't make it but remained friends (funny she just texted while I'm writing this) For all you out there who suffer with bipolar I am sorry people do not understand or stick with it until they know all of you to learn who you really are. Sending loves to you all and Best wishes to you.
@@chloemay9106 know your not alone we are many who love someone with bipolar. Take care of yourself make time to recharge your batteries too. God bless you.
i've had and have bipolar ppl in my life and the answer is have a plan for bad days and listern and be the most patient person in the world, ooh and be able to forgive anything.
Surviving with bipolar type 1 severe, I feel like nobody truly understands me and what I deal with except other bipolar type 1 individuals who have experienced hallucinations and psychosis. Those are truly unique experiences that I feel one has to experience personally to fully understand. My partner tries his best, but at times just feels I can focus on more positive things and not feel as down and fatigued as I do at times, or feel all shakey and jittery and irritable as I do at times. I try to tell him the feelings are so intense at times that there simply is nothing I can do but go through the feeling until it passes.
Thank you for your channel my wife is in rehab right now and these have really helped me get a better idea of what's going on in her. Truly thankful for these videos
My husband is bipolar and he says he is going to get help but he isnt and I am now in therapy twice a week because its hard as hell. Im trying to make sure our kids ok and his grandfather who we take care of and keep strong for them too.
My boyfriend has bipolar 1. If I get upset about anything in our relationship (like asking him to do the dishes) he gets super upset and punches himself in the head and tells me he just fucks everything up. I dont get upset a lot but I feel like I'm not allowed to have feelings.
Hi friend! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Because there has been violence and abuse in the relationship I really want you to stay safe and contact the authorities if you feel you or he are in danger. Because this is such a particular situation it would really be a disservice to you to give a couple of paragraphs of advice. Counselors can answer your questions but also give you some tools for yourself like boundaries. It''s also nice to have someone care and listen to you in a safe place. Please take gentle care! If you need someone to talk to please reach out to these guys, www.crisistextline.org/ If you would like Rob's help, he is only available on Patreon. Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds Rob: I really need your help to keep a good thing going here... PLEASE consider supporting Polar Warriors work on Patreon. Even just $1 a month makes a huge difference. Thank you so much
I am divorcing my ex who I think is in denial for BPD (which is in her family history), it ended spectacularly badly. Being with her brought me into a dark hole for over a year and I am finally getting to live again. It was just completely unpredictable when she is in a good mood or bad mood. Unfortunately she had a lot of other physical medical problems as well and she caused a real drain in my psyche, finances, health and everything... I am thankful that she left and I am finally getting to live the life as I intended. It was insane! At one moment, she is writing me a love note and putting it on my desk, the next moment she burst out crying because I said something she didn't like. We have small fights and decide to have a good time together but it was 100% guaranteed that plans will fall to pieces because "something came up". It felt like I was in hell. I thought I married someone who is happy, motivated and enjoyable to be with but 2/3 of the time she was sick and even when there was absolutely nothing wrong, she will find something to be down about. I love her but I want to live a life with a partner I can trust and can build a family with.
I wasn't in a relationship with this person, but we're really close. He told me he was bipolar during one of our first conversations. We were chill for the first couple or months, but then he started having more episodes once 2024 started. We rekindled after a while, but then he started icing me out again. This started a week and a half ago, I don't know what might've triggered him to block me on everything. I don't have a way to reach him and it just hurts to have him block me out of his life, as if I never mattered in the first place. I just worry about his safety, mentally and physically. I hope he knows that whatever I've done to hurt him, that it wasn't my intention. That I'll always love him and appreciate him as one of my closest friends. There's nothing he could do that'll erase the love I have for him, not even cutting me out of his life. I'll always be there for him when and if he's ready.
My husband is bipolar. Tho I knew for a long time he just admitted it. It’s been a real struggle Bc I’m over compensating in all areas. I am very unhappy and running out of strength to keep it together. He also won’t get help or medication.
Megan Elizabeth absolutely! Many people experience phases of hypersexuality, and I just made a whole video about that recently. This usually happens during the manic phase. When we get depressed, it’s easy to completely lose interest in any sexual activity. Medication side effects can also play a role in this, but the relief from medications is a much greater priority than sex in a lot of ways. Please know that it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner isn’t interested in you anymore, or that they are cheating. Sometimes sex is just not possible. That’s very normal. I hope my channel helps. If you would like to see some additional content that is not on RU-vid, and have a direct line of communication to me, please consider becoming a patron. I will include a link below. No pressure, and would love for you to continue to stop by my channel and learn more. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors -Robert
Polar Warriors thank you.my husband is bipolar but doesn't know exactly what that means. He changes every couple of months. He has more than one personality. He is running around and changing his obsessions every two or three months and it even confuses me on weather to stay or go. He is mean then loving. Somehow everything is always my fault and he makes me out to be the bad guy no matter what he did or said to me, he is never the problem in his mind. one day I don't do enough no matter what I do for him then said I'm a good woman the next day.
That's unfortunately extremely common and I'm so sorry you are experiencing the darker sides of this illness. I made a video that talks about Bipolar Denial. It talks all about timing in regards to approach. Please check that one out as soon as you can. It could take time for the right moment where he's even open to exploring the possibility that he's not well. It's also common for people to go back and forth on treatment / acceptance for quite a long time. PLEASE remember to take care of yourself through all of this. Keep learning as much as you can, make sure you have your own therapist or support, and I'll always do my best to help as I have time. If you want a direct line of communication to me anytime, consider joining my Patreon Page. You can literally donate $3 a month (or click on that option and then it will give you the option to donate just $1. I ALWAYS respond to my Patrons first and it helps me reach more people like you. No pressure at all! Just watching my videos means so much to me! Hope you have an "easy" weekend =) www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors -Rob
I have the same problem as you. He said he still wants me n cares for me but he never said he wanted have sex with me or see me. There will be a time he would text me a hundred times a day with lots of emojis. Then the next day especially on weekends he goes MIA on me. I stopped talking to him. He never told me he has bipolar but I’ve researched enough to think he is. I’m just waiting for the right time to ask him if he has it or he is just being a jerk. I felt really happy when we got along. Then it hurt me tremendously when he was opposite.
Me again... listening to more of your great advice. I am not diagnosed with bipolar, but as I mentioned in a comment in one of your other videos I recently have been dating someone who I believe is bipolar. It is funny you say, "bridge this gap." One night we were suppose to hang out and potentially go on a date, but as we were texting and planning he all the sudden went silent. So obviously I got offended thinking he was ignoring me and did not want to see me. Well I was upset and I wanted him to know I was. He finally reached out the next day apologizing and he said, "how do I bridge this gap?" not really knowing what he meant by that and he said he "didn't know what to say" and it all just makes sense now.
Michelle P The more you learn, the easier it will be to recognize symptoms for what they are. It really helps as the partner of someone who has bipolar. I think what you are doing is fantastic and I’m so glad the channel is helping so many people like you. Lots more videos to come, so stop by anytime :-) -Robert www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thank you for your channel. My wife has been diagnosed with bipolar 2 and you've really helped me see that I was making so many mistakes without even realizing it. Now we're both learning a lot and honestly feel our relationship is the best it's ever been.
I’m starting to see this It’s bad enough for us to suffer, we don’t have a choice, but it’s quite another thing to inflict the fallout on those we love. It increases my suffering to see the pain I cause to the one I love so much. I’m hesitant about going forward in the relationship, even though I’m in love with him so much. It’s the fact that I am in love with him that makes me want to sacrifice my own desire for a future with him, for his own good. I saw a picture of it in my head yesterday when we had a disagreement about being negative versus positive. I’m experiencing full on mania for the last 5 days, not the normal euphoric one, I am newly diagnosed with Bipolar 1, and it’s been a struggle with hospitalization and meds. They put me on anti depressants which made me feel worse. Long story short, I cannot control the moods, anger, and extremes. He has been so sincere in trying to help me and make everything better and he has been the victim of my dragon. I feel like a piece of shit when I disappoint him and I see that look in his eyes and when he misses me so much, because I am paralyzed to leave my house even though I miss him too and would love to see him. He is a very nurturing type of man very confident in his feminine side and very much a man in every sense. He wants to be the one that slays all my dragons and make everything better for me, it makes me love him more and so sad for him too. How can put him through this knowing how much pain I can cause. He says he can handle it and when I say things like my mania could last two weeks, he says think positive things. That infuriates me and then I get shitty, when my reasonable self agrees with him. WTF!?? Please help me.
Melissa Clifton It's easy to imagine that everything would be great for him if he weren't with you, but it isn't that simple. If he loves you I'm sure he'd be happier in the long term with you and your illness than he'd be without either. My grandma has bipolar and one thing that always stuck out to me was that everybody thought she was crazy except my grandpa. He had to deal with her episodes, but he was always patient and understanding, they always got through it, and I know for certain that nobody in my grandpa's life was more important to him than my grandma. Even though at times her illness convinced her that he didn't love her, he stayed with her for 68 years of marriage until he passed away with her by his bedside last year. I'm sure they faced a lot of challenges, but I have no doubt they were both better off together.
My partner (sons dad) just got diagnosed and now it all makes sense. I cry myself to sleep some nights bc he can be so hurtful (emotionally) to me and pushes me away. He flips like a switch. I'm trying to bring supportive and patient but I'm hurting right along with him.
Thank you for your videos I find them very inspiring I looked in search web for more about people living with this horrible disease bipolar even the sound of that sounds like a disease people run from you they think they might catch it funny how people you love and supposed to love you your friends family etc. running from you thinking and may catch it . I'm fighting this battle alone that makes it really hard but I found your video and I will say thank you very much they are helping me figuring this out but I don't feel so well so with that being said I can't wait to see your new videos . I think I may call myself now a polar warrior !!! you have gave me some very helpful tools thank you . I mean wow even 10 years seeing my psychiatrist and therapist more I'm listening to you and all those years wasted and for that I thank you . Keep up the good work polar warrior
Robert, I want to thank you for your channel it is helping me understand my partner better. I knew she had bipolar but didn't know to what the extreme. I've witnessed a severe manic episode it was awful, very volatile,verbally abusive which was my 1st one since we've been together. We have had a wonderful respectful relationship. I guess I'm just in need of some support and how to get through this because it's hard and sad all at the same time. I work in the mental health field already but when it's your loved one it is more difficult to deal with. Can we come back from this and go back to our loving amazing relationship after all the hurt that has come from this?
Hi Paula! Thank you for sharing your story! If you would like to get Rob's oppinion you can message him directly through patreon or live coaching sessions on our Polar Warriors Website. Take Care! Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member Rob: I really need your help to keep a good thing going here... PLEASE consider supporting Polar Warriors work on Patreon. Even just $1 a month makes a huge difference. Thank you so much
I don’t know what to say… So everyone is different is that what you are saying because I am pretty sure you can say that about all people in general… I was looking for more details regarding this specific topic and how to best help my partner when going through struggles
But what about those of us that live with a partner with bipolar who do give and try to understand yet our partners don’t or won’t get the help they need? The elephant in the room is bipolar! Nobody ever wants to discuss it. I’m getting tired of the “highs” and the “lows” or getting clobbered for when she has issues with other people. I’m a good man, with a good heart, yet I’m rapidly tiring of being the target, always. I don’t want up and down just even keel. When she’s in a high I’ve grown to be “fearful” because I know what’s coming next. A storm. I love my partner yet I don’t love bipolar & question if she really loves herself hence me. Anyone out there?
Hi Ian! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He also has shorter, more personal videos and posts on there, including an interview with his partner. Take gentle care! Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds For ten dollars a month, you can message Rob directly, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Having bi polar is the lonelines thing I have ever experienced even when I am around people. Its not just The sickness itself, its also the baggage of many a addiction nature that comes with it.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. For a very limited time he is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. Take gentle care. Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I cannot thank you enough for helping me to understand someone so dear to me. I have known him about 8 months. About 6 months texting almost daily except when he withdraws. I had focused on trying to understand him based on his personality type, but once he told me (just a few weeks ago) his BP diagnosis -watching your videos 💡 are going on in so many ways. I have currently not heard from him in 11 days. I still reach out to him and am here for him 100%. I used to get so anxious not hearing from him and I still worry, but I understanding him better now. He’s truly an amazing person. My life is better with him in it.
Hi Jill! Thank you for such a wonderful message and the kind words. I’m so glad the channel has been helpful. If you run into some trouble and would like to connect, there’s a link in the video description where you can reach me anytime. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and stop by the channel again! - Rob
I have a question for anyone out there: How do you open a conversation with your partner about their bipolar when they don't think anything is wrong? Context: My boyfriend was diagnosed at the beginning of our relationship. He takes lithium but doesn't see a therapist. He thinks all he needs to do is take a pill and he's fine. However, he constantly goes through cycles of pushing me away, finding something wrong with everything I do and say, and points the finger back at me as the source for everything wrong. These seem to me as classic symptoms. I don't know how to have a conversation about his behavior without putting him on the defensive immediately. I'd love for us to be a team, and see his condition as something that we can tackle together but I'm walking on eggshells. I don't want to give up on him but I'm stuck with how to move forward while not totally losing myself.
From what I've observed of my husband who's bipolar II, I'm going to say there isn't really a good way to have conversations like those. You can try and pick a really"good" day, but it's gonna be 50/50 wether they respond openly to your convo or if they get defensive. I haven't found any helpful pattern with my husband. Sorry. Also, I find that we aren't a team. I may be thinking of OUR house and OUR plans and OUR goals, but he just thinks about himself. He's so caught up in his own thoughts and emotions that there isn't room for anyone else (unless he's obsessing over that person a the moment). It's a very lonely relationship.
Dear Jenni, how are you? I found your message very heartfelt and I truly sympathise. My husband's behavior was just like you describe- both my son's also have bipolar. It seems we just don't always see/understand each other's point of view! They're intelligent, capable and (mostly) emotionally sensitive men - but they don't always interpret' or respond to situations in ways acceptable to others.... I'm sure you know what I mean. I'm so thankful to this channel for helping me understand that we're not alone, for giving me the tools to help me be ok, and the understanding I need to help my family be ok with themselves. It's not an easy path - be kind to yourself and remember that your needs are important too. Stay safe. God bless you xx
Dear Jenni Kaye Iam going exactly thru the same issues with my husband He's ben on Lithium for over a year now & it seems to work & prevent him from becoming manic again ! I also believes he doesn't have a problem & wants to taper of his medication Iam so worried we will be going back to sguare one Myself & the Physiatrist are trying to convince him to stay on his medication or take something similar to the Lithium but I don't think it's going to happen It's a very helpless & lonely place for me to have to watch him destroy himself! Iam sorry Jenni I couldn't help you more just stay strong ❤
I explain bipolar (mania/mixed states) to those that want to know as intense feelings that come upon you that are not associated with anything that's actually happening. I say, "Imagine you're driving the freeway and you look up and there's a truck dead-stop ahead of you. You can't stop in time, you know you are going to crash HARD! How do you feel at that very moment?" They know. Then, "Imagine that feeling comes upon you with that insane intensity...and your sitting on the couch-no car, no crash, nothing's happening, but the very real and frightening feeling is there-that desperate fight or flight or freeze feeling and NO reason for it. It grips you for days or weeks on end. Most times any logical thoughts are trumped by the reality of the feelings. The threat is palpable. So maybe you unconsciously manufactor a reason because the cognitive dissonance is unbearable, then you act in outrageous ways and/or get extremely irritable. Then someone might ask you a question and you lash out because, by God, there's a truck you're going to crash into and maybe die...so shut up! Now is not the time!" (Which actually would be a very reasonable reply to a passenger that asked you to pass them the map as you were about to die in a car crash!) We eventually have to strive for some assemblance of control with help from professionals so as not to act on these real but unreliable feelings, but the journey is incredibly difficult. Medicine helps, education is key, and a true understanding from those that love us goes a long way in managing bipolar. Your videos help alot too! Thank you!!
I've spent the last 10 years trying to make it work with my wife who is battling what is clearly bipolar depression. She is not willing to admit there is a problem and blames all of her loved ones for her constant anger outbursts. After 2 separations from dealing with the same toxic behavior, I've finally decided I can't continue to put my children and myself through it. I can't spend the rest of my life walking on egg shells trying to avoid all of her triggers. Kuddos to any that have been able to overcome this but you can't force someone to help themselves.
Good to know - I’ve been in denial but now I see it - constantly walking on eggshells to avoid those triggers- I see you wrote this 1 year ago- how’s it going ?
It is simply too hard. My grilfriend who I really loved and thought to be perfect was bipolar. I was willing to help her, yet she made it worse and worse. I took her to a doctor and he told me that I had to stop dating her since I could deal much more damage. You have to be realistic. Although I loved her so much and I really wanted to help her, I realized that in a romantic relationship I could not be her therapist. She didn't even wanna see me talk to other girls and was really abusive. In other cases, she would spend so much money on gifts and stuff, which made it really difficult for me to make it up to her. So, I used to feel really helpless and afraid of not being able to meet her needs in the future. All in all, it was a living nightmare. My advice to you: don't try to be a hero. They will gake you down with them and your life will be constantly on the brink of destruction.😥
I feel you. I am sure my ex was undiagnosed with this or narcissist personality disorder. like you I bent over backwards to support him. lending him money. being there for him. sorting his troubles. we were together 9 months but on and off talking for a year before. he'd talk to other women and lie about it. 10 weeks ago he blocked me after I caught him out texting his ex with emotional feelings about their past.. its like I never existed. but I needed out to be honest. I was getting nothing for myself looking back. just abuse and lies. I hope you find peace.
Same thing brother. I was married for one year. She gave me the worst days of my life. But I always there for her help. I gave my life to save the marriage and sport her. At end she she made evil front of everyone and filed the divorce in few days and left the country. What a nightmare.
My girlfriend has bipolar episodes every five minutes. I know that might sound like I'm exaggerating but it's true. It's rough, really rough. She can flip moods like putting on another set of clothes. And she wants me to always match her mood but I don't have that ability which causes extreme responses from her that I'm the one who has the problem. One minute she can be feeding me wonderful compliments and a few minutes later she's tearing me a new as$h***, telling me how horrible of a person I am and she will run down the list. Nothing sparks it other than me not being in time with her mood shift. If I trip up, she will fly off the handle..
Thank you for the video it boosted my mood. My husband and I after 6 years of marriage are falling apart because of my depression and manic episodes. Luckily I only had one. Ever since then because of the fact that he's always checking what tabs I'm taking and siding with our daughters or I might just speak too loud or give a reply that he did not find respectful towards his kids and mother I'm being treated like a plague. I am wrong in many ways but I thought that by now he would be able to know me. my depression and manic episodes make me verbally abusive if I feel I have been wronged or being isolated cause they don't want to deal with me. As you know it makes you feel worse. After my manic episode I went to a "mental institution" to teach me how to understand my moods and how to behave in order not to give me control over my behavior. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done because coming home they expected me to be "right" and I'm a changed person but they still kept on triggering me. I'm back to square one. Apologies for the long message but I have no one to speak to at this stage.
Hi Michelle! If you would like, you can private message Rob on Patreon or by phone coaching on our polar warriors website. Take care. Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member Rob: I really need your help to keep a good thing going here... PLEASE consider supporting Polar Warriors work on Patreon. Even just $1 a month makes a huge difference. Thank you so much
@@oldandnew1234 I'm seperated from my husband and it is going much better. My family is my support system and they are awesome. I don't speak to my husband at all and he doesn't contact me either. He's entire family blocked me when i left 6 months ago. Please tell me a bit about yourself and what you had to or still is going through.
So my girlfriend had an episode for the first time scents we began dating (3mnths) she finally told me about her condition. She hasn't had an episode or whatever for like 4 year and it come out of know where. I plan on following this channel very closely
I always described crashing as if someone muted the volume on life for a person who is hard of hearing. Everything gets harder to comprehend and the focus becomes the lack of sound.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care. Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I get it but man... The girl I love which was once my fiance and we stay together is extremely bipolar (manic depression) in my eyes. but if I even mention close to anything bipolar, aww man will I get the moods and aggression. I understand the disease but this shit is annoying and aggravating... If I'm sweet there's an issue if I voice my opinion there's an issue, then later everything is ok when I get some bs self explanation... I'm tired. What in the fuck is a man to do with a suicidal everything is about me kind of person. It is not fair to us will are there and care
This was a great analogy. Thank you so much. I'm trying to better understand this topic with family members who have and a significant other whom I suspect has bipolar as well.
I was engaged to a bipolar woman, one day she decided she doesn't love me any more, packed her shit and left, cancelled the lease on our apartment. I think I dodged a bullet because it's always about them. In my opinion if you are involved with a bipolar person RUN!!!! Run as far and as fast as you can, all they do is destroy lives, oh and they will go off their meds, they love their highs and miss them when medicated. Never again for me, never!
You are giving me courage to walk around some more. I thought I knew enough. There is more info out there since I last looked. He's been working on telling me when things are difficult. I'm able to point out his mood changes. I've been physically ill which is causing some depression so I just can't keep up. We've had some messy moments.
Good explanation. I lived with my son for 6 months at the very beginning of his diagnose. It was Impressive How he fought himself through this period. It was the start of his medication and wareness What this desease means... he learned me "unconditional love". I am forever grateful to him for that 😘.
I'm dating a woman who is bipolar. I honestly think there's a lot more going on because not only she has the bipolar behavior but she's also very emotional and cry's over anything. She also extra extra clingy. It's getting so bad that I stress when we're together and I'm relieved when she leaves. It's so stressful being around her and honestly I don't know how much more I can take. I don't know if she's coming or going! At this point I'm beginning to feel like my mental health is at stake by trying to be in this relationship. I mean even if I ask her a simple yes or no question, I have to sit around for 15 to 20 minutes and listen to her ramble off and go through her phycological acrobats just to get the answer & by the time that she's done I kindly tell her "20 min after" BABE...You never answered my question. And then, she gets mad at me. This $hit is frustrating!!!!!!!
rebquist rebquist Of course! The more people I can help, the better. I didn’t expect the channel to grow as fast as it would, so I’m really excited that people are finding the information helpful. I have lots more awesome videos to come :-) I will have a new one tomorrow that will be really good! I hope you had a great weekend! -Robert
Nailed it. I'm blind. Staggering thru the mist sprayed by the elephant. I won't give up, I just need better glasses. I feel that I have more tools to work with this time around, but they are dull. Sorry for my metaphors, but that's all it seems to be right now.
How does one get a spouse who they believe is bipolar to check for it?...without it sounding like an accusation that would lead to more useless anger?...
Hi... These videos are incredible. I cannot articulate BD as well as you can. Outsiders just see me as fun-loving and generous and slightly reckless and a bit speeded up. My close family see a totally different side. But the hardest for me are the ignorant people who don't even want to try to understand. These people are slowly but surely being removed from my life!!!
My fiance is bipolar. 20 years together n all of a sudden things have gotten bad lately. Everything triggers her. Smallest things start huge arguments. We are on the verge of separation . She hates her meds because she feels weird. Ive been trying get some info to hope keep us together.
Hi there Expert!! I am sorry to hear about your troubles! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He also has shorter, more personal videos and posts on there, including an interview with his partner. Take gentle care! Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds For ten dollars a month, you can message Rob directly, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My mom is watching polar warriors. Hope she finds something that clarify somethings for her. I’m hoping my husband of 39 years would watch some for me.
