Borderline Triangulates with Rescuer to Silence Pain, Abandonment Anxiety 

It’s also almost like they say they don’t want to go back into the fire, but then they smile and prance back into it gladly. Then complain only to be pulled out and gladly jump back in, signaling with a childlike smile and wave, for you to jump in the fire with her again to pull her out.

i know I'm pretty off topic but does anyone know a good place to watch new series online ?

@Winston Dwayne flixportal :P

@Mitchell Bennett Thanks, I signed up and it seems like a nice service :D Appreciate it!

@Winston Dwayne Happy to help =)

That Dialogue Coach Yes my mother even triangulated me against the family dog 🐕 believe it or not!

How do did you handle it? Whole family has npd bpd psychopathy or just narcissism. Triangulation and betrayal is like second nature, I’m just out numbered Insanity is now sanity in my family’s eyes

@@ryanfatguyinlilcoat2436 I would ask, what do they think of ideas, terms like "honor/pride, value - scaling/leveling/ranking (of people instead of good or hurting characteristics, persuations, habits, false beliefs with consequences), shame, guilt, blame, punishment" and being a character like a stone as significant "individuality"? (the teach, belief of "you are you and have the right to be whatever it is, stay as this, be proud, love yourself") Maybe they are believers in that way?

I DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND THE BORDERLINE AT ALL. How do they automatically forget the ex completely, yet create a false narrative about what happened with the ex, when they have wiped them from their memory???? Wht do they rell people the ex abused them if they dont remember the person. Why do feel guilty about if they don't remember anything about the person? I wish it was so easy for the people whose normal people whose minds are completely fuck up by them and try desperately to remove the borderlines' mental illness glued into their brains. The only thing that made sense here is why my ex was still, apparently hoping to get together with the father of their child, even they the court ordered they couldn't go within 20 meters of each other. He's there to pick up the child. My God this guys videos are making me feel bad. I spent a month feeling intense sadness over leaving my ex, she felt NOTHING!!!!!!! why the shame and guilt then?

My borderline daughter in law triangulates our entire small family unit. It’s very disturbing.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is him making you feel like you're asleep in a glass box while he thinks he's attained enlightenment

I'm sorry you went through this. Your attitude is great.

I chose to forget my BPD girlfriend and you can do that by throwing away the thought every time it comes into your head and not making a home for that thought it may take 10 times it may take 100 but it will leave you but you won’t forget the lesson

@@Lamarck922 great advice, thank you very much

Oh yes, exactly!

How are you doing today, September 21, 2020? Hope you’re well. Love from USA. ❤

I would throw out BDP as a name(Emotional Instabile PD as alternative is downplaying, nonsense). The variation of Narcissism (overt, covert and maybe other individual shapes) with long time PTSD makes just sense. When lower or higher narcissistic ideologized(terms, beliefs, philosophy with feeling connections) people come to a PTSD situation and struggles, they are into both, so the names are more correct. Women western mainstream socialization (or a mainstream in US is religious like western EU around 50to100+years ago) are in tendency more humble and sweet, "sensible"< but sensitive, in a fassade and believe much more (eso hocuspocus is a known selfimage at a mass of women). And primitivism says as well "someone must be guilty/has to get blamed" >> no complex structural thinking, thinking of enlightenment in hard facts, because of "let them play in their women fantasy world" as childs and up while men have to think mostly rational-materialistic as philosophy(not the commercial meaning) and have to be easy instead of emo escalation(other examples are enough out there). So capitalistic phil. thinking (for artificial honor/value and consume, "you are a tool, an investent or a fool") is the core of narcissistic thought and feel school for relations (especially the priviledged good looking ones, the half covert, overt princesses). So it seems just as an extra case, but they have the devastating thoughts, beliefs, life philosoph, that are of course connected to feelings. They can't stand the thoughts, the circles and the connected feelings - this is the order. They try to externalize the thoughts, the blame and you are the bad for their own as weakness seen stuff... (mainly they look for partners, that are these "normal" in thinking, these capitalistic calculations in social, so they may *judge* partial right there, but...^^ "You are not bad as me, but I will make you more worse!" is their program. Some more overt, women in tendency more in a framing believe. My last ex more soziopathic calculative in her ordered chaos, a mix with believe)

Every word hit a cord. Every action she took you talked about. Every reaction to reconnect you nailed.

Same here. Sucks

Yes

Ditto its mad my mum NPD PSYCHO BUT MY X FIANCE I THINK WAS BDP IM CPTSD PTSD OCD ADHD AND MY X I COULD HANDLE WAY EASIER THAN MY MOTHER AND WISH I HADN'T ENDED IT HE WAS A REAL MAN AND WE BOTH DIDN'T HAVE NORMAL?? VIOLENCE PSYCHO PARENTS BUT IT WAS THE THING HE SAID THAT CRUCIFIED ME NEVER EVER HIT ME TRAVELLING THE WORLD WITH HIM BUT IM TOUGH AND STUPID AND STUBBORN HEY HO OK ON MY OWN ANYWAY DID 13 YEAR THOUGH XX

I can’t understand how real unconditional love is unattainable for a borderline. I gave her everything I could by way of support, unconditional love, and selfless compassion. It meant absolutely nothing when she left. Shit is nuts

I would ask, what do you think of ideas, terms like "honor/pride, value - scaling/leveling/ranking (of people instead of good or hurting characteristics, persuations, habits, false beliefs with consequences), shame, guilt, blame, punishment" and being a character like a stone as significant "individuality"? (the teach, belief of "you are you and have the right to be whatever it is, stay as this, be proud, love yourself") PTSD is one thing, but ...

@@showcasesportsnextgen9028 The narc entitlement, the framing focus. I would throw out BDP as a name(Emotional Instabile PD as alternative is downlaying nonsense). The variation and 'envelopment' stage of Narcissism (overt, covert and maybe other individual shapes) with long time PTSD makes just sense. When lower or higher narcissistic ideologized(terms, beliefs, philosophy with feeling connections) people come to a PTSD situation and struggles, they are into both, so the names are more correct. Women western mainstream socialization (or a mainstream in US is religious like western EU around 50to100+years ago) are in tendency more humble and sweet, "sensible"< but sensitive, in a fassade and believe much more (eso hocuspocus is a known selfimage at a mass of women). And primitivism says as well "someone must be guilty/has to get blamed" >> no complex structural thinking, thinking of enlightenment in hard facts, because of "let them play in their women fantasy world" as childs and up while men have to think mostly rational-materialistic as philosophy(not the commercial meaning) and have to be easy instead of emo escalation(other examples are enough out there). So capitalistic phil. thinking (for artificial honor/value and consume, "you are a tool, an investent or a fool") is the core of narcissistic thought and feel school for relations (especially the priviledged good looking ones, the half covert, overt princesses). So it seems just as an extra case, but they have the devastating thoughts, beliefs, life philosoph, that are of course connected to feelings. They can't stand the thoughts, the circles and the connected feelings - this is the order. They try to externalize the thoughts, the blame and you are the bad for their own as weakness seen stuff... (mainly they look for partners, that are these "normal" in thinking, these capitalistic calculations in social, so they may *judge* partial right there, but...^^ "You are not bad as me, but I will make you more worse!" is their program. Some more overt, women in tendency more in a framing believe. My last ex more soziopathic calculative in her ordered chaos, a mix with believe)

Do you have a false identity, cause my mom is a psychopath and has a fake persona, but when I tell her she just denies it, so I always talk past her

Me too and not proud adverse childhood trauma and some made ne too tough half Republic of Ireland ROMA England and military family all nuts in different ways

I would ask, what do you think of ideas, terms like "honor/pride, value - scaling/leveling/ranking (of people instead of good or hurting characteristics, persuations, habits, false beliefs with consequences), shame, guilt, blame, punishment" and being a character like a stone as significant "individuality"? (the teach, belief of "you are you and have the right to be whatever it is, stay as this, be proud, love yourself")

So you cheated on him?

If I were to explainmy life in general dealing w these people.... I could not have said it better than you have Rose. Best of luck to us all🌹

@@Humanaut. Hi, I like everything you wrote except one thing. Perhaps the person that you were with did not want help nor to look in the mirror. To assume all BPD sufferers are like that is dangerous. Maybe many are like that. Not all are. For example, Marsha Linehan. I am sorry that you had such a bad experience. Please consider not splitting like the borderline does and not generalize people. Thank you.

Rescuers are narcissists affixed to that attention and availing that carrot for the rabbits to chase.. rabbids for drugs party ppl clingy see how beloved the narc is.. then power plays to convince ppl its everyone else not them. Any cost to defile their disposed and DESERVING IT TOTALLY , WHATEVER THE VALUE OF DAY ENTERTAINS THE WORTH.. AFFORDABLE emptiness when adoring BELOVED chase.. then disservicing disenchanted everyone a conquest bored later with same type actions. They all not he or she needs mental treatment , which won't charge anything bc the environs hadn't... keep calling every interst or refusal for sex favor, disposed emptiness a psychopath when their own strings -the narc was pulling itself to get desired responses, as puppeteers. Figure out they were being used for drugs, protection, yes snd whipping poster happy horses... riding into dinner and beyond. First misstep, abused fully and tossed even creating that experience watching close friends relatives in this way. Abuse is abuse every firm and a Rescuer's protectee does discover they are the victims for egomaniac and flee bc intensity of damage needs find self respect and protect others in periphery.

@@musakui Thanks for calling me an annoying person. Your entire response is indicative of your level of consciousness. Who said that I was offended? You did, by assumption. You don't know me and you really are way off on my intentions. Perhaps you are projecting and you are the annoying person who is easily offended.

@@libster9631 THANK YOU

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@Be The Change You Want just another lie from her....

Thank you. I'm not promiscuous, either. I have never cheated, in my 40s, my husband would be gone for months or years at a time, I was married for 14 years, and I would never cheat. I don't forget the people I have loved. I have an extremely hard time letting them go. It has been 7 years since the last person I loved discarded me and I've never been able to let them go. Never talked to anyone else, never dated anyone else, never had sex with anyone else. Before that, I spent many years alone and was A-OK with it. It's like so much of what he says makes sense then so much of it does not because it's so completely different from how I am.

@@SuperJneil huh

@@Anna-xn8ds I can relate. It's very tough.

i’m sorry for your loss

Yep, there is no hope unless the borderline partner decide to cope with his/her behavior and starts an adequete treatment. I had a 7 months experience like this and it feels i lived all of what has been described by the prof. When u cut off the partner she/he will recontact you several times to project her/his internal pain or to recreate the initial bound

Same here but flip the genders. It was a giant, confusing mess. It's not anymore. It all makes perfect sense.

Borderlines go to the front of the line for me because there’s nothing more exciting as long as you walk into it with your eyes wide shut it’s a hell of a ride

so you cheated?

@@guygainzzz9960I’m a borderline and I never cheated, I am really against that for some reason. But I did flirt with other men in front of my partner to make them jealous.

Watch my videos on the borderline's engulfment anxiety.

pointless

Don’t share

I'm so sorry Mike that you and your little ones have had to suffer through this madness My daughter and I had to and still are having to ride this Rollercoaster from hell. False allegations , parental alienation triangulation from her new partners. It's been a nightmare. I pray you are never falsely accused of molesting your children as I was. Dean Tong is a forensic consultant who specializes in these type of cases. Dr. Craig Childress is a clinical psychologist who is also tops in his field. Dean Tong can refer you to a highly qualified attorney in your area who can assist you presenting crucial information as we as Dr Childress can help the family courts judge understand how unstable and abusive your wife may be of which is not in your children's best interest to be in her care without a court appointed monitor. Sam's information and enormous knowledge with these personality types is beyond spot on !! God bless you and your children 🙏🙏🙏❤

@@iamthestorm1004my partner is going through this with his ex of 16 years . his two boys chose to live with him and so his ex has cut the boys off and told them and the dad they are not allowed to see their 4 year old sister anymore . she has accused him of the most heinous things . He’s gone through hell . what mother cuts off her boys ans keeps the daughter hidden.

12.10 my mother might have been borderline. She confused me completely with contradictory messages. She would berate me and then punish me for not having self confidence. Every She felt was something I'd done to fail her. She took even the slightest criticism from teachers as being shameful to her. Even me getting ill was about her. She was jealous of my fathers love for me and in the end persuaded him that I was reason for her mental state.

1) they don’t always do well with co-workers either. Borderlines are notorious for workplace affairs, criminal acts at work, etc. 2) sometimes, structure and consequences are enough to keep things in check, at least in some contexts.

Grandiosity is a critical dimension of Borderline Personality Disorder and, yes, it is diagnosed among men as well - but only by people who are qualified and trained to diagnose.

Vaknin's

Sam Vaknin please my apologies, I was watching this in my phone, it’s a small keyboard and I have big hands haha. I meant to write Vaknin sir.

@@Chris-0113 Yes facinating .

The only good thing thatcame from Covid19....Sam put his time to good use for the affected by making some super videos.

It is an indicator of depression (dysthimia or cyclothymia). In rare cases, people with Borderline or Histrionic Personality Disorder, or Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) react like this.

@@numindframetarot6046 Hi , thanks for the answer and you were certainly not over stepping, so what i understand from your answer and my pwBPD behaviour is you all did see the positive side of SO , when there is a distance and you will hoover, but as soon as you get closer to SO, you will again feel the same pain and instead of resolving it by talking to SO, you will again create something which will create the distance and the loop goes into infinite loop. Atleast this is what happened with my pwBPD, she will never try and talk to resolve things but will talk to her friends and will overshare everything, but will not talk to the relevent person the SO, but will hoover and ruminates, but will not talk. Silent treatment .....anyways thanks for the answer again.

It seems the response is no longer available. Going through something very similar and would appreciate any insight on this question

Wow, and i thought what I have been experiencing was bad. You can't make this stuff up. Sorry to hear all this. Best wishes to you...

Can you get therapy? Sometimes you need to find a good therapist. So if at first it doesn't work, go to someone else. For me, CBT was useless and DBT was a success.

Yes I feel the same, sometimes feel so high energy, sometimes very deep depression, all the time I change my plans the jobs the people, sometimes I am so angry who I am near to kill someone. Bordeline is destroye me everyday, you can't can control it

@Jupiter funny, a game of cat n mouse, my mum said exactly that tonight. I am self aware and question myself all the time “is this a BPD thing or is it real? … did I push him away because I felt he was trying to control me?… I don’t even trust myself anymore. He will never let me forget something I have done wrong. Yet he has done the exact same thing and tells me it’s in the past …. He brings up all my mistakes from the time we met and has an excuse for everything. I am forever apologising and in tears. He has no empathy at all. He owns up to things that he has done to hurt me and seems to be genuinely sorry and promises to change and stop doing that, but then suddenly I sense a black cloud and am blind sided by him not agreeing with what we talked about and will leave and ignore me for weeks, even months. I try to stay away waiting for him to see that he is in the wrong but he never does. But has admitted that he will stay in touch with my daughter to see what I am doing and go to the shops umpteen times a day to “accidentally” bump in to me. Decide to turn up at church when he has admitted that he doesn’t like church or even believe. Then I always end up running back to him. It’s like I can’t handle it and have to clear the air because I know it is hard for him to say sorry or approach me directly but pick up the hint that he is there because he wants to see me. I know him that well and he has told me that so I am forever trying to please him and prove myself because I put myself in his shoes. It is driving me crazy and all the good that has been done through therapy comes undone and I end up on a higher dose of medication. I went a year no contact and for that year I did really well then out of the blue he came to church. I couldn’t handle being ignored and watching him ignore me and laugh with everyone else knowing that this affects me so intensely until I approach him about it. Then he will admit to everything and be so nice for a week or two and then, without warning, the dark cloud is back and I am on eggshells knowing the past is about to come up or I have talked to someone too long or put one of my kids or someone else first. It is exhausting, yet I keep trying to prove to him and be more aware of his feelings, which seems like it will never be enough he just moves the bar.

CPTSD victims are indistinguishable from Borderlines. Watch the other two vids in the series (links in the video's description).

I think yes,because they are invalidated by the narcissist. Keep in mind, the person can have both BPD and CPTSD.

DBT is a very effective therapy. It's successful. I did DBT and my life is soooooo much better now.

It makes you a person of great inner strength to have accepted and overcome the evil within yourself.

Absolutely. My experience is similar to what you went through.

Remember that you could have both CPTSD and BPD.

Yes, they would parentify and adultify the child.

@@samvaknin Thank you…. Appreciate your insights and YT channel. BD

Yes, it is. Impulsivity is a diagnostic characteristic of F2 psychopaths, rather than Borderlines.

Ppl with cptsd are often misdiagnosed with bpd

Search the BPD and the therapies playlists.