Brandt Tobler - The Time I Tried to Kill My Dad - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored 

Think your family is messed up? Think again. Watch comedians share their most ridiculous family stories on “This Is Not Happening:” ru-vid.com/group/PLD7nPL1U-R5pgIBSOJV-fL4uIWR-DZbfI

Its funny because the original saying is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" implying that the family you choose is more important than the family you come from.

I'm just wondering how he was able to get out of that $80,000 debt.

He had to pay for his own death threats... probably one of the best lines

his last face expression showed how he actually feels about everything, that shit hurted

They seriously did kill him and told Brant that he "ran away" lol "haven't seen him or heard from him in 17 years, and he had to clean up a lot of blood? Yeah he dead man

"He may have been your father, but he wasn't your daddy"

Blood is thicker than water Syrup is thicker than blood So pancakes are more important than family

Looking at this again. It really seems like they straight killed his dad and just said he ran away

For most of the time I couldn't tel whether this was a stand-up bit or a church testimonial

The ironic thing is the full quote is the opposite of what it really means- "blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb."

"I had never killed anyone before" Damn he really murdered his dad

How cathartic! Glad for this series. It's like therapy for these people and it is therapeutic for us, the audience.

Check out the lady's reaction at 10:02 when he said his father stole 80k from him. LMAO

MEXICANS GOT ON BOOTS

Oh hon. That was so raw and awful. Just the most connecting thing. I appreciate your honesty and I wish you much better experiences in the future. You're one hell of a story teller, that's for sure.

These latest TINH are getting pretty dark... I like it

They just told you he ran away.... He's probably dead 😂

The ironic thing is, The phrase "Blood is thicker than water" isn't the full phrase. The full phrase is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" which means relationships made by choice are stronger than those formed by chance.

Anybody else skip the intro?

"The blood of the convenient is thicker than the water of the womb." Those who you choose to be your family is better than those you are born to. You can pick your family.

Damn. That was good. He's a pretty captivating story teller.

I love how we have misinterpreted and screwed up the whole "Blood is thicker than water." shit!

Brandt's story (a real good one, btw) sounds like something Quentin Tarantino would love to put in a movie XD

I'm sure it's awkward for the people in back having the comedian's back to them the whole time

I feel for this guy. Notice how sad he looks at the end while putting the Mike back on it's stand. My mom has done me wrong & it's hard to reconcile with those types of feelings. It truly sux to love someone when all they deserve is to be hated.

Would have been way funnier if they stabbed the dad but he’s been shadowboxing in ice cold water for 15 seconds every day since he was 10 so he was able to fight em off even under shock and escape; and then he could have closed with “so make sure you guys take cold showers and shadow box for 15 seconds daily”

*Been COLD SHOWER SHADOWING since I saw this!*

well you kept 80 grand cash in a house full of tweakers...

Really liking the dark turn these have taken.

I've watched a million comedy shows.. The one thing I've noticed is... They use laughter to get through their pain. I guess it's cathartic

They should have just stolen the camaro

That money probably killed his dad anyway.

i got a 12 second ad about watch dogs legion and i loved it “is buying an unskipable ad rude? well i’m doing it for your own good”

Step dad was paying for his own death threats 😂

that guy's laugh in the audience. oh my god.

I need to start doing that shower stuff. Can never be too careful in these streets.

This show's format is ideal for raw stories that have shaped these comedians' lives and outlooks. I've often found that the best and most profound anecdotes, are the ones that have involved vulnerability, brutal life experience, and ultimately conquering adversity, and have thus provided the most nuanced perspectives and humorous hindsight to share them with - case in point 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 More nightmarishly hilarious bedtime stories please 🌟

That ending left me wanting.

Wow. I never appreciated my emotionally absent Dad, that just worked, slept and paid the bills, so much. Way to not do meth and steal my 80 grand Pops.

The real saying is actually " blood of the covenant is thicker than the water off the womb " but hey your Dad and most of us had no idea.

i come back to this one every so often, i think it's one of the best.

Brants book, Free Roll, is fantastic. You MUST GET THE AUDIOBOOK!!!!! It’s my all time favorite. I’ve listened to it at least 5 times start to finish. He’s so genuine and hilarious. This guy is SOOOO underrated

Roy Wood Junior: We all come from someone who nurtures, protects us and who teaches us Me: *Looks over at an empty space where my father is supposed to be*

Plot thickens: Dad owes Man that son works for; Steals money to pay off debt.

I have never, ever laughed so hard!!! And, my childhood was horrible, like yours!!! Many hugs to you, Grace

Right at the end when he put the mic back look at his face.. he's still hurting.

Can't say I'd try to kill my own father, but if I had one like that I'd sure as hell want to.

I’m on the toilet about to take a shower while watching this looks like I’m about to shadow box now

Awww. Thats sad. Look at his broken heart at the end. God bless you sir. Forgiveness does wonders to heal yourself. 🙏

I low-key believe that half of these stories are just the coverup they came up with to get away with their actions!

His dad ruined everything for them wow. They just wanted him around and he stole everything from them, including their future.

You are so brave to share this. So much love and respect from me💗💗

The best part is “Blood is thicker than Water” is from this quote which means the opposite of what his dad was implying, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” it was originally used for soldiers and their bond that was strengthened by the bloodshed of battle.

Looks like Tom hanks on the thumbthumbnail lol

Damn, that was dark. I approve.

This was not particularly hilarious, but this guy's storytelling technique is special.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

That was sad. :( I want to give him and his brother a hug. I am so glad to know that he has an awesome stepfather tho :)

I LOL'D AT THE END!

he just admits to murder right?!!! “HIS BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER” he was washing the evidence away

Published on my birthday, one of the best stories ever.

Dad gave him prison knowledge I'm weak af 😂😂😭

im picturing his dad as the pawn shop peckerwood guy from parks n rec.

Did anyone else hear a joker laugh in the audience cause it sounds exactly like the one in the movie?😅

This felt like A TED TALK!!!

the sheer emotional scope of this story, man

0:50 to skip intro

The shadowboxing part!!! LMFAO This is a funny dude. I enjoyed this.

The best story I’ve heard on here

Confessing to a murder ...nice

Blood is thicker than water. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, meaning the friends you have are people you love by choice, which is heavier than someone who is part of your family.

See i wish i got to learn from my father no matter what your pops is like your lucky man slick i lost my pops when i was 4 remember looking at him in his casket wish he was here every day

It's weird that I can relate to this story on so many levels...

After Ali Siddiq - this is by far the best story on This is Happening. Fantastic.

So what did he do about the $80 grand he owed those people that got stolen??

um what happened to Ari Shaffir?

Did his brother get to see his girlfriend graduate?

Attempted murder carries a 9 year sentence. Murder carries 25 - life. Why do you get less for attempted murder? You still tried it, if anything you should get a heavier sentence for fucking it up.

Oml the way he delivered the last line

this mans life sounds like an early 2000s raunchy comedy

This is one of my favorite stories

What is the statute of limitations for attempted murder?

WYOMING!!! It does exist 😲

Brandt Tobler has great stories and tells them like a five year old.

i remember hearing this on pandora and it was the best story i’ve ever heard next to Joey Diaz’s story about kidnapping a dude

Dude's voice sounds exactly like joe Rogan

im scared of my dad being the alcoholic version of his dad

Someone has a great laugh.

When I watch some of these Episodes of This is not Happening I swear I hear Ryan Sickle Cell in the audience laughing.

Dad: *Mexican got on boots*

If anyone stole 80 grand from me I’m getting that 80 grand back. Like there’s no way he would’ve spent it that fast anyways . He Should’ve kidnapped him , stole his precious car and got the money out of him however he had to , and then destroyed the car beyond repair . You’d get the money back and you don’t have to kill him . Maybe just beat the fuck out of him until you get what’s yours 😂

I literally just realized it wasnt Joe Rogen speaking when i heard "sam! Sam"

He REALLY buildin that suspense up

No no no this is messed up *About to get a spanking* Dad: You know I love you right?

*I feel bad for this guy tho 😐...but he's hilarious ❤️*

I’ve watched this so many times in the last few years, it’s so satisfying ✊

And all these stories are so freaking amazing you have got to do more of these

Thank you for being a comedian

So brave of him to do this. Also great punchline at the end!