"CAN I SPY ON MY WIFES PHONE?" - EP2 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW 

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A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.Collected

Imagine messaging your friend, and their wife/husband is also reading your messages. We individually have a trust with all the people we message, if your phone is checked by your spouse, then you should let all your contacts know that, because what if a sister is sending pictures without her hijab to your wife and you’re also seeing those pictures behind everyone’s back. And vice versa, a brother might be sharing something private with your husband and you’re also reading those messages. Draw your own boundaries in how much you share your phone with your spouse but you must adhere to Islamic principles.

My brother handled his marriages like Ali Da'wah suggests. When he intended on a 2nd wife he made his first wife a part of it. The wives both passed on about 3 years apart and they had a wonderful relationship and friendship. When the 2nd wife died it left a certain percentage of a vacuum for both husband as well as the first wife. Husband is currently still dealing with his loss of both wives. May Allah SWT grant the wives Jannah and make it easy for my brother Ameen.

Why would you feel insecure if your husband or wife checks your phone unless you are hiding something. Me and my husband know each others password (the password is for the outside world and the kids not from eachother). Communication is key. Alhamdolilah

There is laughing and giggling and everyone looking into each others eyes...this is haram subhanallah.

"True love is about growing as a couple, learning about each other, and never giving up on each other."

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”-Mignon McLaughli

Spying is haram both for wife and husband

“The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.” - William Shakespeare

Mashallah, nice to see brother Halool on this show! I had thought my eyes were playing tricks on me while I watched the intro

I'm enjoying these discussions between brothers and sisters within a calm setting. It's good we discuss relationships and marital issues and questions to get these stigmas out of the way. These are first world problems that should be stamped out quickly so we can focus on those that are struggling within the ummah and continue being good Muslims and being in good relationships

The ones who go on about the trust the most are usually the ones to break it !

I agree with Ali here. Any kind of relationships in your life require a certain level of trust. Yes it may not be 100% like trusting Allah(swt) but to a certain extent, you have to trust people you have relations with(any kind of relation, spousal/sibling/parental/friend ect.). You cannot spy 24/7 in any relationship and maintain it for a long period of time. It's impossible to maintain such kind of toxic relationship.

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquillity with them. And He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” Ayat 21, Surah Ar-Rum

The prophet PBUH said “Do not spy on one another”

MashaAllah I love this talk show

Salaam Br. Ali, I have to say, I love this show. Very insightful and beneficial. JazakAllah khayr and please keep these style videos coming inshaAllah!

>>>>>>Something that nobody addressed is why do you give your number to women in the first place. There is no reason for men and women to give their number to the opposite sex. If you need to contact someone of the opposite sex regarding business or some other non social reason then give your spouses number. Simple as that, then you dont even open the door for shaytaan.

Great job Ali

I really don't care if my wife checks my phone. Because I don't do anything wrong. But, yes if husband or wife check each others phones then this gives a signal of mistrust which i think is not good for marital relationship. Just be loyal and don't act weird if by chance your partner checks or uses your phones.

I feel like every time brother Ali brings up his friends stories he’s actually talking about himself 😂

Not behind each others back but for sure allowing each other to check.. knowingly. If you're afraid of your spouse checking your phone, you're hiding something

If men you being faithful to your wife and you have no female friends. But you wife keeps checking your phone. But she expect you not to have a issue with her having male friends and her messaging them and she doesn't want you to check her phone. She looking for a reason to break up.

love the series brother. more controversial topics please... lol...

Masha Allah this is so interesting thank you for helping us

I enjoy watching these types of video's. Keep it up

nice Ep good job brother

I appreciate going through these topics in a more modest way. There was no need to laughter , casual interactions only for : حتى لا يطمع الذي بقلبه مرض

Said this in the previous video, these questions need to be way more specific and you'll find they all agree but due to the question being so vague, it goes all over the place

do more of these please, It benefits us a lot to see different points of view

So far I have not read in the comments that going through a spouses phone broke up any marriages. An argument is better than a divorce.

Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together. Jacqueline Bisset🥰🥰🥰

I love the brother that said his wife replies to comments that females made. And vice,versa. So simple. No drama that way. And most importantly one of the ways to protect yourself from the fitna, temptation.

I and my wife can put our phones aside, she perfectly knows my password and i know hers. I can't imagine me having my phone only for myself as I can't imagine her having her phone only for herself. Trust is built through transparency, and not only love. Since love can sometimes be very manipulative. I somehow think it's disgusting that married men and women can hide their phones from each other. This is alarming enough, that there is something going on behind their backs, they just prefer to ignore and dig their heads to the ground. And ultimately, it will lead to them faking their trust and love for each other.

Thanks to Ali and all brothers and sisters involved, very good content and very benificial. Pls keep more mariage videos up.

May we all always accept and make peace with all qada and qadar from Allah

Loved this episode ❤❤❤😂😂😂😂

Anyone else notice the extensive ads now on his channel and before Ali used to say how he doesn’t care about money because of his i penniless channel smh

I used to think this way when I was young (that spouses should know EVERYTHING about each other and share ALL passwords). But after a certain age (and many types of life lessons), I learned that privacy in a relationship is important. Everyone has an innate right to privacy. There might be private conversation between you and someone else (Mahram person) that shouldn’t be read by your hubby. Similarly, he might have the same with others. As long as you both trust each other, there is no need to check each other’s emails and phones. It can also ruin surprises you or they might be planning for one another. And what about notes people might write and save for themselves that they may not want another person to read? There should also be a sense of privacy and respect that is the foundation of the relationship. IF however you have genuine reasons to suspect foul play then it’s within your rights to do the necessary investigation to get the truth.

They shouldn't be checking each other's phones, but like one of the sisters said, if there's a doubt, they should be allowed to.

Assalamu Alaikum brother Ali 🙌🏼 I think you should fix a date or two for these kind of contents 👌🏼 ❤️ From Bangladesh 🇧🇩

This series is very very good. This should be lifetime content

In marriage most important we fail to do is to inspire each other spiritually .. and exercising love and affection always .. not necessarily has to be come inside you but for the sake of deen and Allah loving each other and having mercy..

Salam aleykum brother Ali. Are you able to do another show on how to solve marriage problems when dealing with issues like catching on drugs, weed or watching p*rnography etc as there is so much fitnah today and sadly many good people fall for it

I know of a couple who have an agreement to go through each other's phones. I'm not sure if this is healthy or not. Personally I think it's a good thing at the rate infidelity goes on in the world. In my own marriage I don't feel a need where my husband is concerned. My husband shows interest in going through my phone. He asks questions and sometimes it gets annoying. But this issue is fairly under control.

All I have to say is Haloo is hilarious masha’allah

My wife is always on my phone ànd checking messages casually😊

Will done guys

If you have nothing to hide what's the problem with checking each other's phones? My husband can check my phone whenever he wants bc he won't find a damn thing.

We should be able to access eachother’s phones/accounts.. but we shouldn’t go over the top & be checking 24/7 & if something does come up sort it as adults.. A friend of mine went through her husband’s phone as she became suspicious (let’s just say he wasn’t performing in the bedroom) & found that he was addicted to p***.. she is helping him sort it & has all his passwords, so I think sometimes it is better to be able to check.. whether the wife makes a mistake or the husband there should be a level of forgiveness from both sides..

Mashallah Mashallah 💯

People here need to realise that having several wives, each one sneaking into husband's phone just to prove a point that actually does not exist, all out of jealousy, leading to major problems of mistrust. And they've even promised never to do it. Best would be not to own a phone.

I would say, one reason to not check your wife's phone is in case there are photos of people not wearing their hijab in it.

Thanks for having me on your show! I’ll look forward to more potential visits in the future inshaAllah

Good initiative masha Allah. Some suggested topics are: the different needs of men and women and how to meet them in the marriage, how to preserve love and attraction in the marriage, how to raise children with healthy self esteem and nurture their emaan in today's world. Being realistic and not idealistic is very important. Having people on the panel with different perspectives and equal opportunity to express it will increase the impact as well. May Allah put barakah in this project.

I completely disagree with sharing or letting your wife go through your phone. Why should a woman even bring this up? There should be enough trust in the relatinship. People can be hiding things OTHER than bad and sinful deeds you know.

Mashallah i like this episode 😍

Mashallah, these sisters are another level. The Ummah desperately needs this kind of program.

I wouldn't mind. If you have nothing to hide...I don't see what the problem is. The only exception though is my friends privacy. The conversations, texts between them.

Ali dawah, men can't handle women being approached! You think men don't? Vice versa

I'd like to add that don't go through their messages with their friends and family. And definitely don't look at old messages and conversations from before you were in a relationship. Facebook messenger archives your old conversations. My friend decided to pick up her husbands phone and look at his old conversations with his friends and girls from before they even met. She got so upset and jealous even though it was before he met her. Rationally she shouldn't be upset but it took her months to get over. She told me, but never her husband that she did that because she knew she was in the wrong. I think if she was curious about his past she should have asked him directly before they got married rather than snoop through his old messages after they've already been married for years.

May Allah reward you in this life and the next.

There should not be any privacy among couples. Getting into a marriage,by default is to share the privacy.

the subject depends on individuals differently in a different way. it's not women or men, you can not take a certain rule for everybody.

Relationships are like birds, if you hold tightly they die. If you hold loosely, they fly but if you hold with care, they remain with you forever. unknown

Ali dawah can you bring up this topic amoung this group about the times we are in with Muslim children teenagers especially the topics where sadly the Muslim youth are staying away from the religion and following the culture of Europe it's actually breaking families apart in some cases the youths get in to drugs father and son relationships strained and in some cases non existent because the cultures are clashing parents growing up in Asia children born in to Europe.

@14:46 So Needed and So Effective, especially Separation comes

Ali we still waiting on that wedding documentary 😢

What everyone is forgetting to remember is nowadays, phones are almost extension of your thoughts. For example You might be searching something and without any background it might look like this guys is being unfaithful. Or even think of this, a lot of ppl are not lucky enough to live a righteous life from the get go but with these phone’s you data could be going back 5 to 10 years easy. Very few ppl will take the time to clean their phones going back to 5 to 10 years but some one snooping through your phone will go back 5 to 10 years no issues. Believe me phones are one of those things if you want to find something you will. Why do you think lawyers tell you not to share your phone with a law even if you are innocent because if they want to find something they will.

I wouldn't ask for his phone unless he seems secretive and I'll check when I'm ready to face whatever it is. But advice that phone should be off limits unless the need rises

hehe the ladies are well spoken, Ali don't like it when he's out spoken

I like this open talks pod cast sort of thing

i feel it isnt nessesary but i give it to her myself so that she knows she can trust me i have nothing to hide

Great point from the sister that maybe their are hijabi unveil pics in her phone Never thought of it

Yeah, I don't check my wives phones and they don't check mine.

Mashallah some people want to spend the rest of their lives with someone they don’t want to access their phone 😂😂 you’d give him/her access to your body but not to a phone ya allah 😂

I've seen a video where women say they would divorce their husband if he ever asked for a paternity test to the newborn baby. So we have men pushing for mandatory paternity tests at the hospital when the baby is born, but women are against it. That would be an interesting discussion between the brothers and sisters inshallah. When females seek validation and security, we just have to give it to them no problem. But when men want it, we get thrown away.

I am not married but I feel like we shouldn't do it because she can have pictures of her friend who is non mahram to us to watch or she can get text from her friend which might not be appropriate for me to read. But let's say I can read the text if she bought something and now message came that it got delivered, or maybe checking photos of something she took and want me to look at when she is washing dish in the kitchen or doing something else. But I should be self accountable to not go beyond bound. This is my own opinion so you may have different views.

What the hell is all this free mixing bruv

Me and my wife have access to each others phones, however I do not believe there should 'checking' of phones and messages. There is some privacy required. My wife regularly chats to her mum and her friends and there would be personal discussions which I do not need to see or hear. Similarly I would chat to my friends which sometimes will contain personal jokes (lads talk) which she does not need to see or hear. There have been a few occasions where she has read my messagesremain

After 4:00 to 4:45 they shouldve ended the podcast there and then. The sister pretty much answered the topic of the title.

I mean, if he doesn't give me the reason to think that he might look at chats that are not halal for his eyes (e.g. chats with my friends who sent me selfies with no hijab on) then he can have my password. Here's a new point: My sister and I are inseperable but we still don't randomly go through eachother's phone without asking for what we are doing it. If somebody, doesn't matter who, insists to use stuff that solely belongs to you, and you say you don't want that, that's legitimate and the other person would be in the wrong for insisting. If a man or woman says that having the password is a must and not an acceptable boundary, then they should clarify this in the marriage talks.

Those are questions you ask when you’re looking for a perfect match. It’s not general rules.

Salaam start another channel with guest talks like this. I think it’s the sort of thing everyone is watching now.

Petition to get longer videos

Yea I’m confused, are these women related to them? What with the casual laughter and smiling in between? This whole show feels wrong

am learning.

Relationships are like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably crap

Other than that no is allowed to spy on it or even touch it without permission or even go threw their privacy

Ali dawah seems to most protective abt his statement unlike others....even ends the conversation saying on what he believes shud be done.....

There should be no secrets between husband and wife, and having access to each others phones is normal and essential. However you shouldn’t abuse this trust and privilege, by constantly checking their phone and obsessing about what they are doing. You should open yourself up to your partner completely, which means letting them having access to your phone. But you should also trust your partner and have confidence in their commitment to you, and not check their phone , spying on their phone etc.

Tbh I don’t wanna or plan to look at my man’s phone cuz I don’t even look at my own siblings phone what makes me wanna look at his? Plus I’m not interested in his phone

Thank goodness I don't own a modern phone. I have an old second-hand Nokia cell phone and believe it to be better than all my peers' phones.

Is it right to think that you're not suitable for marriage because you're too jealous and there's something about you that you can't change?

“Why is it the bitter truth?” “Cuz the truth is bitter” idk why I w found this so funny 😂😂

It is another way to promote Islam Keep it up brother 🇵🇰🇵🇰

It's not only about self confidence but it's a lack of confidence in Allah subhana wa ta3la

Trust and transparency work synonymously, everyone’s relationship is also different as we all come from different paths but just like we are no one to judge ourselves no one else but Allah has that right Alhamdolilah. Some of the examples used here may not have been the best to truly find the answer of what may work for others but we cannot assume or predict anyone’s intentions no matter how close or far they are meaning that we cannot make decisions or hide things that could have an impact on our marriage based off of what the other person may react because before even getting married a solid foundation of communication should’ve been set to where things like this are not make it or break it moments. Great video overall Inshallah more of these I think are gonna be so beneficial especially in these times where in Islam our divorce rates are crazy high and this can help others truly understand marriage before entering it. Allah ya3teekum il 3fya

No reason not to allow it but if either spouse wants to go through the others phone then there is a very big issue already present that needs to be dealt with. Let them go through it. Express your displeasure with the request and action. Try your best to educate them on what Allah says about suspicion and work with them to get them over whatever anxiety they have that creates suspicion out of thin air.