Can Narcissists love? 

If you're being ignored by someone who cared about you it's not bc we hate you. It's bc the constant mistreatment was just too much. You can fix that. You don't have to dispose of people. Unless they're a bad person of course. But good people who care about you are worth fixing things with. I promise.

I loved him a lot, like a lot, but I seen everything from the beginning but loved him unconditionally, it was so hard letting go, my heart is torn, cause I love him and he says he does, but he doesn’t know what love is

Your question about secure attachment is one that is very difficult to answer because it happens when you’re a baby. Your caregivers are supposed to show you that they are always there to meet your needs. And even when they disappear, they will come back and still meet your needs. So babies and children learn how to feel comfortable and calm with knowing that their parents will always come back, their parents will always love them, and their parents will always meet their needs. This is essentially how children learn if they are lovable or not. And their parents set the foundation for all of their future relationships with people. When someone doesn’t have this, their entire foundation of existing as human is then built on anxiety, feeling unloved and not being sure if their needs will ever be met or when. So that then becomes how they relate to everyone. Their parents did things that made them untrustworthy to a baby. So the baby doesn’t develop the object permanence and so they think when people leave that it means something bad will happen next or they won’t get what they need anymore. It’s all established at such an early age, before you are even cognizant of what is happening. So today, at 36, I really can’t explain why but I always feel secure with myself and with people. When my partner doesn’t answer, I just assume they are busy and feel ok. My brain learned this from my caregivers because they loved me properly. When your caregivers don’t love you properly, you never fully understand how to regulate your emotions in uncomfortable situations. Babies don’t have the tools to do this on their own. It’s almost always about how you were raised. Your parents were supposed to give you that secure attachment and they didn’t. It has nothing to do with you. You were a lovable baby but your parents or caregivers did not do the right things when raising you.

I had a partner who was probably on the Npd spectrum. Here are a couple of things I think you perhaps need to understand, and it’s quite harsh, but probably necessary if you ever want to try to work around this. The status and admiration etc. that you think are “more secure” than love most definitely aren’t. What I did while loving her was really playing into that game, implying that she was smart and really good at things although she was quite average. (Yes, I know you probably have a high IQ. Which also means you’re much better att deceiving yourself than less intelligent people are, so keep listening, haha) And I did this because a) otherwise she would split (both by turning me all bad and/or by splitting physically by leaving or discarding me, stonewalling and the rest of it) and b) because it's so awkward to tell someone who really thinks they’re the shit (or pretending to be) that they really aren’t that most people actually prefer not to. Now that the relationshit is over and I can see it more clearly the closest thing I can think of to describe it is that this felt like playing with a three year old, placating and validating someone because that’s what adults do to those who are really sensitive knowing that bursting their self-esteem bubble could break something that needs to be unbroken for yet another while. And I could have done this for a much longer time if she hadn’t also taken that FALSELY created and upheld self-esteem and ran with it, putting me down in a lot of ways because she felt superior. The comebacks I swallowed for her to be able to feel good about hereself could have totally devastated her. But I kept my mouth shut because I loved her. But the constant whos-on-top?-games totally killed it after a while, since I knew that as soon as I would have stood my ground there would have been rage, discards, break-ups, silent treatments and so on. So it’s a false narrative ANYWAY. Peole don’t love smart. Peole don’t love status. People don’t love skills. They don’t even like these things. They like what’s likeable. They like people. It’s first when you you understand this, I believe, that you become self-aware for real. Here’s a challenge for you. Why not try and be the best friend and partner instead of being best at the superficial shit you measure success by? That could be turned into a competition too, you know, but at least that would be a bit more productive. There are a lot of us here. Make a video and ask us what things you should think about to not screw your relationships up. You could make a checklist and decide to really try to follow it. I promise you that your life would be ten times better in a couple of years, no matter if your behavior would feel fake (to yourself) for quite a while. And let’s face it, it’s already fake, so what’s the loss? I’m not trying to be judgemental or un-nuanced here, even though I realize I come across as such. I just don’t know how to convey this in a better way at this moment. I’m going to end with some complimentary supply for you: I’ve watched a lot of other self-aware narcissist’s videos trying to understand what the hell happened to me, and yours is by far the best. Because most of the other one’s really come across as still being so much in love with themselves it’s hard not to be disgusted, while you really come across as someone who actually suffers and wants to explain what you’re going through. Thank you so much.

your channel has done more for me in processing and understanding my experiences than all the npd fear-mongering crooks on youtube combined, so thank you.

This is so fascinating… thank you. I really genuinely appreciate you taking the time to make this. I admire how conscious you are and how you can articulate your thoughts.

Thank you so very much for your personal perspective and experiences. This truly helps in my understanding of how my ex must have felt and why. It has helped me release the anger and hurt I felt towards him. I feel more of a sympathy now that I can see things from his perspective and way of thinking. So many past situations between us make alot of sense now. My only regret is how I responded back to him. I'm sure that I just added to his fears and caused more pain in him because of my hurt feelings and misunderstanding of why things were happening the way they were. The abusive nature and behaviors are by no means excused and the relationship for sure needed to end but I definitely don't hate him and I wish him well. I hope he does try and change for the better for himself and for anyone who enters into a relationship with him.

Because I'm an empath. And I mean I'm the kind that would literally jump in front of a bullet for even a stranger. Not bc that's the right thing to do. Not bc society says to be nice to people but bc my natural knee jerk reaction is to help. I constantly think about others and feel others. Someone can sneeze and I can tell what's on their mind. It's crazy. It's a blessing and a curse. Anyway loving others is the best most powerful strong elating feeling. An almost high. I can have a problem going on in my head and walk into a room and immediately feel love from others and it makes me kinda forget the problem I was obsessing about. Love is this energy that can make you realize that nothing is as bad or as important as you thought it was. I know narcissists have trouble loving but man my advice is to figure out how to start experiencing that as soon as possible. It will change your whole entire existence. In no time.

Of course. Every human being can Love.

You give a very honest representation of narcissism. I appreciate that you express yourself without being flashy and bending over backwards to impress people. You are unique if you are not controlling. Narcissists are prolific in my family and without a doubt they have all been controlling & manipulative.

Feels like a closure. Thank you for sharing

This video has some good insights into it and I think that pretty much everyone can relate to the fantasy of finding a "perfect partner" or wondering if the right person is out there instead of the one you're with. I just got out of a relationship with someone that I strongly suspect has NPD or several characteristics of narcissism. This video reminds me of some of the emotions that she described to me about how she struggled with love and vulnerability. She discarded me and gave me the silent treatment after I held her accountable for some mistreatment. That removed all doubt.

Admiration, Power and status, can be taken away. Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Love is only for the Brave. I can see the "logic" , of avoiding it fully. But life just wouldn't have any meaning without it... So I'm in, for the Battle. Its hard work... Even for those other peeps.

I believe people feel like that, because they got to feel unconditional love from someone in their life before whatever fucked up thing happens to them. Thank you for what you do and for your bravery.. another commenter on here mentioned something similar, but I so believe that we can also help you. You’re a legit hero to me in the short time I’ve seen you bc you have helped me understand something that affects my family and had me dumbfounded, and I’m supposed to be a smart person!! My rational thinking didn’t help me understand anything for over 10 years until you showed up. It’s criminal that you’re not more popular, but I have some theories as to why. It’s also criminal that the state of research into this is not nearly as advanced as any of us needed it to be. You’re the best.

I think a lot of people today fear not finding their "ideal" or "perfect" mate. The fact is that although some people are lucky enough to get close, that really just doesn't exist, and even if it did and you found it, people change throughout life and not necessarily at a time or in ways that are pleasing to their partner. People forget to take this into consideration when thinking of commitment. I know a lot of people who have that fear and it enough to make it scary that they are all NPD.

Conflict can be safe to have, within Love, as long as the ultimate goal, for both party's, is Resolution.... So conflict, can become fairly heavy, in Love, as there is no "giving up", in the reasoning, until there is resolution... During the conflict, there can be a roller-coaster of emotions, and misunderstandings, before the steam is let off, and the reasoning begins.... But there is an unspoken agreement, that we are "in it to win it", Together, and that we choose not to "give up", but to find our way through the maze, and to boil things down, and find the place, where we can meet, in agreement. Resolution. And then it's wrapped up and put to bed. And we move on, having learned more about one another. And the bond is strengthened, for future challenges, as there shall ALWAYS be challenges.

Listening to you is soooo similar to the things my Narc has said and done. I really believe that a huge issue in narcissism is that narcs focus and waste time on a million unrealistic thoughts then just focusing on the other person. I know that's out of fear. But shit. Wouldn't it be better to take the chance on giving your all to the other person and possibly experience true joy instead of blowing up the relationship and ending up alone anyway??? Those of us who love a narc will not leave unless we are forced to. So just stop forcing us out of your lives. Easier said then done. But if the end result could go bad anyway then just take the risk.

We know people love us despite not seeing them for a while by picking things up EXACTLY where we left it when we departed. That means that during the absence we thought of each other. We had each other in the minds on the front "seat" and no other people interractions cand take such a priority. This katching up where we left it is the sign of love that gives reassurance.

Although I am not a narcissist I do have anxiety/depression and I've had quite a traumatic childhood especially when it comes down to constant bullying and abuse that I've endured while I was in school and even now at age 19 I'm still struggling showing my true emotions and understanding them and I am truly scared but after seeing you and watching you you have helped me ALOT and also I've just subscribed 💙

Thanks for your valuable perspective, Jacob. It's very enlightening.

Thank you for your openness

A narcissist cannot see beyond his or her own nose, let alone love.

‘Don’t even listen to me’ BIG HUGS🤪

If they are ignoring You it is because They are very hurt ... Not because They hate You ✨️ They only start to hate if You hurt them without saying You are sorry for hurting them in a peroid of time ... Because not saying sorry means that You purposefully went out to hurt them and You do not respect them 😉 That is the only time "hate" comes into play from their side (Also once again - In a peroid of time) ⭐️ Learning to say You are "genuinely" sorry for what You did makes people more forgiving 🎀 Unless that words are spoken they will always "stay" hurt 🙄 Empaths NEEDS closure ✨️

For me I also suffer with emotion regulation. I very harshly, cruelly lash out. Then, I realize he doesn't deserve to be treated that way, and my only defense to be humane is to ghost unil I'm calmer again.

Also empaths don't hate. We wish we could. Trust me. But it's not our nature. So if your a narc surround yourself with empaths. Then you won't have to obsess over wondering if we hate you. It's almost like narcs can't love and emps can't hate. That should be a pretty good symbiotic relationship. But do not fuck us over. Be nice. Even if you have to fake it.

Secure, genuine and consistent. And... unconditional!!! Thats all humans are not, almost never. It's not just you. If love would be so true, deep and unconditional, where does it go when people break up?

Thanks for opening up. You create possibilities to love more and understand more, what is going on in their heads. That is so interesting. Thank you for being yourself. God bless you bro!😊 Honesty is great!!!😊😊😊❤️

I can trust you and love you, until you cross the lines, I pre- express, that I will not accept. If you choose to violate that... That is your freedom, to do so. But as far as I am concerned, you have chosen to violate me , so I will choose to take my Love and Trust back. ( because they are precious, to me)...

You can and should feel unconditional love for your children the bonds are so strong. It's actually unhealthy to unconditionally love a spouse It's like saying you can walk all over me and I will still love you. No it wrong and unrealistic.

Love is like an all encompassing dull ache, which pulses from the gut, out to the rest of the body., or it pops, in rushes of delight toward another, as they light you up inside. Those intense moments, confirm that we love that that person... But on, an every day basis we can be mostly busy with ourselves and taking one another, for granted, knowing that Love is always in the bank... Not always feeling that level of intensity ( unless we "go there") . That is the safe place, of feeling Loved, in return... That we can lose our constant vigilance and relax and just trust, and so be free to pursue life, knowing a haven is always there, to touch base with. I think of my Daughter, as I search to find the words, to match the feelings, for this Love thing.

Thank you for this very insightful video. You explained it very well and it helps me understand 😊.

Im truly sorry that you have to feel like this. "Normal"people don't have to think about these things, we just live. God bless all of us on this journey. I had a narc relationship that ended badly many years ago. I have a quiet love in my soul for him never to be explored again. 14 years later i married another narc ( obviously unknowingly) The relationship destroyed me. These insights help me understand why both ex narcs did the things to destroy us. Im only 6 months out from the rage event that ruined our marriage, so i hope to arrive healthy down my road. Ironically, the initial rage may have been tecovered from, its all the horrific things he did after his abandonment fears kicked in. Too complicated, i want to love simply, purely. Pray God delivers me from this pain and I'm able to love again ❤ i also pray for my ex husband that he can find peace too. Just will not be with me. Infidelity is a deal breaker even though i now understand the NEED for emotional regulation via supply. 😢

I thought I knew what affective empathy was simply down to the memory of having it, and that this awful disjointed feeling I got when someone else was in distress was empathy - nope, it's called personal distress combined with disgust! (More like simple introjective identification.) Wow... yeah, I had no idea of the facial expressions I was giving people when I felt certain things about them and how strange it must have been for them to see someone react that way while still saying all the appropriate words. Well, now I do and I need to fix that before my sly leer creeps out too many people. LoL Indeed though, I've seen "love" through a detached cinematic lense or as the feeling of being comfortable... used to be more like looking up to someone as a hero when I was younger and more on the codependent side of things. Really, I just see friends and family as potential benefactors or as playmates to curb my boredom/identity angst. Relationships usually end by me simply not reaching out to anyone - I've got "bigger things" on the horizon at all times - and this is the first time I've had a GF, so we'll see how that pans out. One thing I suppose I can be thankful for is my ability to translate between reality and my emotional state... but now it's branching out to other things and I'm confusing terms of everyday objects with one another. I find that I am extremely suggestible and that I need to be extremely careful of the things I even hear from others, because someone bringing reality to my attention feels like being gaslit and it just takes something out of me. No fun... so I have to find that balance between accepting reality and guarding against threats to control.

I think your question towards the end there has to do with the way you feel about yourself and that you assume everyone else thinks the same way you do about yourself. So with out real confidence and self esteem that come from with in yourself VS and outside source, you can't have security about the relationships in your life if that makes sense. Also some of what you were saying I can relate to. I always say that my head is never on the same page as my heart and my heart tends to forget about part hurts and wins the argument with my head. I know the facts but my heart says "just give him another chance" my heart forgets pain much faster than my head as well. It's hard for me to grasp that your need for supply is so important that you don't have time to think about love cuz your drowning. I take the gamble on love over everything else and sometimes it has ended badly but in time the heart ache fades away far enough that I'm willing to take the gamble again cuz with out love don't see a point to life. Thanks for sharing. It's all very insightful and interesting.

It seems like it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Not believing anyone could ever love all of you, so you don’t invest in a relationship when it’s getting tricky (thinking there’s a better match out there) so the other person leaves eventually because they don’t feel loved as well..so you just constantly proving yourself right..that’s really sad :( thank you for your honesty. You have no clue how much your videos help me with my relationship. For the longest time I just thought I’m not worthy of love and that it’s all just my fault. Now I can see the bigger picture and don’t take his behavior towards me personally

I would try to think about it logically. Ignore the feeling because that is almost always misleading anyway. You can love someone all your life but unless you choose to show it they will never know. Thus love is more than just a feeling. It's a choice. It's chosing to be your best self in any circumstance, including the ones where you are feeling let down, upset or vulnerable, such that you don't harm the person you claim to love because you're feeling some kind of way. Parents who love thier children will do this. Think about what a loving supportive parent should be. I mean, if you didn't get that you must accept that you don't know how to show love to either yourself or another person without causing harm in the process because the people responsible for showing you how fucked up. Abusers say they love you but then will treat you like dirt. We don't mistreat the people that we love - not because it isn't in us but because we choose not to. Trauma bonding isn't love for that very reason. If you love someone, you will choose to think before you act about how your words and actions will affect them and then go accordingly. If you can do this - you can love. You just have to choose who you're going to be.

Interesting. This keeps puzzling me all the life. I realised I was mistaking love with being intrigued and anxiety. But, hell, how one even gets to know if they love or only think they do? Also for me annoyance is a thing, if this kicks in, it's done.

Yup, you had it right back then. The wild type NPDer cannot love an intimate partner. An interesting feature of 'my' single-mum narc is that she brought up one child, who I think suffered a lot, and is now 9 yrs into number two, a delightful and brilliant little girl. The thing is that she loves her kids, probably the little girl in particular, a great deal. Yes, it's partly a broken, narc-style love but it's also substantially a healthy love. My impression is that my narc HAD TO LEARN healthy love for the benefit of the kids, and that by some point with #2 was quite good at it. She does have brilliant cognitive empathy. She can't bear to think that the girl's life might be destroyed in the same way that her own was by being denied a good-enough primary care giver and healthy attachment. I have no doubt that she's a malignant narc. She has a forever history of smashed intimate partner relationships, and even with her capacity to love the little girl, she is also no stranger to behaving abusively with her. Interesting combination of features, no?

Great content!! ❤❤

Question, is some of why you don’t love back that you’re afraid of getting hurt? I felt like the narcissist I was with would start to get feelings for me then get avoidant and pull away. You are not worthless!!

Admiration, power, and status can be taken away from you. They’re an illusionary trap on top of that. You may enjoy a beginning course in Logic from a good university and/or professor

Red sky metaphor is on point

Maybe you might want to just concentrate on loving and caring ( meeting your own needs ) for yourself and see where that takes you.

I like your voice. I listen to your videos just for your voice. But I also find interesting what you have to say.

There is no such thing as unconditional love, maybe except for a parent towards their kids. It’s always a mutual exchange, because one receives affection in exchange, or stability, or a feeling of belonging, or the building of a family together. The non-narcissist expects some exchange, though she may not realize it. If she doesnt get it, she’s usually out unless she is receiving something in return (intimacy, status for being linked to her partner, self esteem boost, sense of belonging, attention, financial security, housing security, intermittent affection etc.).

Thank you

So one of the last things he said to me when we spent about 10 days during Christmas he said, I’m going to miss you. I am going to leave so you won’t be sad anymore. Is that maybe the closest thing to real love he ever did? We have been together 17 years and now it’s more and more like I never existed

Love can be destroyed, if certain lines are crossed. It takes two to tango. If "unconditional Love" , requires accepting Evil behavior... I Am Out. So i do not really go for that Disney rubbish, either. Its unrealistic.

Just curious, what got you to seek treatment? Did you hit rock bottom? Did someone close to you ask about it? I understand narcissists dont choose to be narcissists. The pain you had to endure as a child in order to manufacture such a strong defense mechanism must have been hellacious. I myself am a co-dependent and i feel deeply for others. This isnt a brag because being too empathetic can be toxic as well (you lose yourself in the other person as well as feel what others feel quite viscerally might i add). A hard truth i had to accept about myself is that i also have low self esteem and manipulate to get my needs met as well. I know the narcissists has a bad reputation but the fact of the matter is we're all just people doing the best we can with what we got. At least youre fully aware of your defense mechanisms and therefore can do something about it. Kudos to you for being brave and i respect and appreciate you for allowing us to see inside the thought process of a deeply traumatized child. I know love means nothing to you but ill say it anyway, love you man. 🙏

I have the feeling that it is going to be very important for you to go right back to the beginning, and i mean as far back as you can, then to work from there. Psychodynamic therapy is a good therapeutic tool to help you unravel your childhood... but you do need to be able to have a strong sense of self before embarking on that journey. Fortunately, treatment is a lifelong endeavour, and you will need to have regular treatment for life.

I from Brasil, i Love you vídeos

Distancing yourself can be used as a way to control your partner though

Боже мой! До чего же страшные эти люди нарциссы... Как же люди от них страдают, которые их любят.

You have a perfect haircut. BTW

The part where you said you wanted to help your girlfriends get mad at the end of a break up reminds me of another video where you were talking about making fun of a friend for reading badly in class… my thought when I listened to that video was that it makes you uncomfortable to see people experience something that would be humiliating to you. So do you think you pushed her to defend herself because you would always rather be arguing back at someone than just be embarrassed with nothing to do about it?

Do you think that in your next relationship that you would be able to battle through the your issues and hold on to the relationship no matter what? Normal people have the ability to experience “otherness” and not associate it immediately with fear of abandonment, because the most predominant feeling they felt around that otherness was safety and joy. Therefore they associate otherness with being something worth researching and connecting to and then their brain associates it immediately with thoughts of curiosity about something different then themselves that is new and interesting and can bring something new and beautiful into their lives. Like if you see a new animal in some jungle, and it’s small and furry and cute and unknown to you, you will feel curious about it, want to see it closer up, learn about it, study it. Why? Because you know that knowing about it is going to make you happy. Because then you will know more about life and what it looks like. That brings joy because it reminds us we are all beings of life. We are all the same. That calms us because it gives us a deep sense of belonging. Of being at home. Because if we’re all the same, doing the same things, behaving the same, we must belong here right? This is where beings like us live. In this world, on this path. So if I see this furry creature I will be eager to learn about it, watch what it eats, see how it moves, watch how it carries its young, try to understand how it communicates, how it builds its nest, how it sleeps, how it licks its wounds and heals. I watch this and know, that just like this animal wants to sleep in warmth at night, that feels so much like me. I as well want to sleep warm at night. I want shelter, it wants shelter. That’s me. This is me. Me is alive right here, all around me I can see me because these organisms live like me. Then there is quiet in the mind. That is why people enjoy nature so much. A normal person will see their partner suffering or acting distant or unusual and will want to take a closer look and study it because they know deep down what they will find will be fascinating. They might see something new but it will still be built by the same building blocks they already know and already possess. So they will again feel sameness and connectedness with this new, seemingly bizarre and unheard of representation of life, but that it’s not so different from them. They don’t immediately expect to find death or abandonment there because they don’t associate people in general with being a threat to their safety. Like if you looked in on the animal you were researching and saw it had a weird mouth with mandibles built very weird and alien like, and it ate by ingesting food is a very bizarre way, you would watch fascinated, wanting to see more, how does it swallow, how does it act after eating, because you know that your final conclusion will be, it’s basically just like me, in the end. I too, eat. Differently, but just like me. I too swallow. In a very different way, but we are both trying to achieve the same thing. Fullness and satiation. That’s a great feeling to feel. Connection. People with personality disorders have been hurt by “otherness”. Either directly or indirectly, otherness was experienced in the most memorable way as being dangerous because it challenged your survival, in a way your brain said: I’m not gonna make it. We won’t survive. Death is imminent. Give up. We can’t win. Despair. End of life. Done. If as a baby a persons mother was too absent for example, the child experienced otherness (his mother being other then themselves) as a constant threat, because their security and survival were constantly brought to the brink of exhaustion and threat of death, and ceasing to exist, all these things became mentally correlated. Just like when you see a lion, and you know it can kill you, you will want to see it from afar and without putting yourself in harms way. You will still want to know about it but will always keep a safe distance. Curiosity will keep you away at all times, because you know it can hurt you. Even being the same as this lion in the fact that you both eat to survive, doesn’t make you want to touch it. You know that it’s survival mode will cause your death. So if you detect in reality, something that is like yourself but can cause you pain, you will view it from afar and want constant boundaries from it. It’s fine if it’s possible. We can make sure lions dont come near us, so we live peacefully on this planet. But imagine if we were supposed to cohabit with lions, bring up our young with them. Everyone would kill everyone. When we see other people as lions that’s the result. Constant fright, fight or flight. But otherness doesn’t have to be a threat once we are safe. Behind a wall I love the lion. It is majestic and beautiful and it’s visual appearance brings me calm. It again reminds me we are all being of life. And seeing its beauty is better than seeing nothing, a barren wasteland with no otherness rather then myself. How boring. So it’s good to live in a world with newness and otherness. It’s just beautiful. Even if it’s potentially dangerous it doesn’t mean it’s better off dead. It was still contribute to my life as long as I’m safe. So the key to healing feeling like people are lions (because our parents felt like lions, their actions made us feel constantly in danger for our lives) we learn how we are constantly safe from the lion. That is what helps us feel confident and at peace with their existence in this world. Emdr, eft, grounding techniques, all elements of many therapies that help a person experience the inner feeling of being safe and having the ability to feel that as a constant inner thing. After you feel safe, like there is always a wall the is stopping the lion from eating you, you can study it enough to see that it might not be a lion, it might be a safe animal. An animal I can cohabit with. Help and be helped by it. Enrich my life. Maybe it’s a goat I can feed and get milk from. Maybe it’s a dog that will always give me companionship. Maybe it’s a person I can enjoy life with and have children with and connect to who will again, make my life fuller than if I lived alone on a planet that was a barren wasteland. What a bleh and depressing thought. So what’s missing for PDs is the feeling of being safe. The amount of times mom held and caressed and kept them safe was way less then the times they were put in physical or emotional danger. So that is the missing feeling that must be learned and created enough times to become ingrained in the person. It is very possible. Never give up of being able to learn new things. There is always a possibility that you yourself will surprise you.

Mine finally told me he loved me after 2 yrs of off/on. Then he blocked me after 2 weeks. It really hurts.

What do you mean when you said “I try to control their love for me?”

You ask how can you trust another person still love you if you not around.let me ask you, do you drive? How can you be sure that driver coming towards you will stay in his lane? You just hope they do. Otherwise don’t get in a car 😊

Maybe find a good psychiatrist and a good therapist. Tell us about your childhood and upbringing if you want. It will help others and, if you are honest and authentic about it, it may help you very much too

To the author... Do you think that showing you love of Christ (through a person to you) , would heal this trauma and way of thinking? Where God supernatural love genuine love would heal you? Just asking what your thoughts is. I've seen ppl being delivered and their mind changed to like the Bible said they will be new creation and the freedom wow they felt. So just asking

Its well known narcs cannot love anybody they don't even love themselves.!!

No one ever loves unconditionally. And there’s always a risk of breaking up. But why would you care? I’m on the Npd spectrum too, but I don’t really care about these things. Why do you need a life time relationship? Isn’t more fun to have different partners?

It is like the most disgusting... but like sad human experience I can imagine.. I have an immense amount of compassion for what you must be experiencing.. but it is also so fuckin toxic.. and destructive to yourself and those around you.... my feelings are paradoxical..

Have you ever heard of Friedrich Nietzsche? You should take a break... otherwise ... love you ❤

Your actually lucky that you can’t love. It sucks

I don’t think they learned empathy it’s a learned behavior also 🙏🏽💯🙏🏽💯💜💜💜💜

Do you love your mum ? Are you abusive to her ? Please I need to know this ... thank you in advance 👍

One day you will find that perfect girl and you will be in love , and maybe she will brake your heart , it’s called karma

The ability to be so self aware but a narcissist, it would be so funny if this was all acting XD

Love bombing feels good for Me. Still, the content of Lovebombing. is in Us. Every relationship is in the Between. Feelgood is just feelgood. Its ok to be alone too. You dont disappear in Alone :)

I don’t know if I am an empath or narc anymore. But I have a narc mom, an narc ex and it destroyed me. And I’m ADHD too. But I see me as a narc sometimes!