Paradoxically, even those who do fit the beauty standard, are also ‘never good enough’. It’s constant work to always be prepped/primped, snatched, have the ‘right’ personality (which also changes…cool girl, quirky girl, shy girl, ‘that’ girl); have access to the popular brands/activities of the day; have a body that doesn’t grow hair, bloat, or need any kind of maintenance. In many ways, no one truly meets the standard, not even the most enviable (?) of models.
I know this doesn’t matter but you re actually very beautiful and attractive. I consume very little social media and mainstream media and I still feel insecure sometimes, but I feel at my best when I hang out with people who don’t care about superficial things. You re putting yourself on the line for mysoginistic pricks to insult you, and you re doing it to educate people and show us we can love ourselves, and it’s incredible. Take care of yourself
This really hit home “ where does it end” …. You are so brave for paving the way of anti fat phobia..it must suck to get all that hate . You’ve made me love myself 1000x more than I ever would have . You have a place online that is followed my the minority unfortunately… hopefully in the future more and more people will see the light and accept all bodies 💕
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE!? 😭😭 I absolutely love everything you talked about especially with always feeling the pressure to look a certain way. That’s what I’ve been dealing with lately and it’s been bumming me out 🥲. I always try to hide my body when I’m out in public and it’s been so exhausting doing so. Honestly it’s just great to see someone who looks like me talk about these things! I’m so glad I found your channel!! Instant new subscriber 🥰
Thank for exiting! I’m a 41 year old woman and you are so much help to my and other people self esteem! Your not the “standard” but your very beautiful!
Thank you for voicing so many thoughts I’ve had swimming around my head recently. I feel like when you’re mid and plus sized society doesn’t know what to do with you. I’ve never quite felt like I’ve fit in anywhere, like there isn’t a place for me. Im sorry you have so many people critiquing you and your body and I hope we as a society really shift out of this awful fatphobic mindset that everyone is in. I think you are beautiful and elegant and I love your taste in clothes. Thank you for being so honest and open and yourself on the internet
I felt a little crappy about the change in my body weight recently. I havent been perceived any differently by either men or women but I feel so insecure all the time. You are such an inspiration to me. Youre beautiful and smart both in very conventional ways might i add. Thank you so much for this video, Jess.
Although I get that you don't fit "the beauty standard" in some respects, I genuinely find you really beautiful! I wish I could feel that way about myself lol
I didn't notice you had a RU-vid until yesterday I thought you just had a Pinterest and TikTok I have been folowing you for like a year your the best keep it up
the american collective treats our bodies as marketing products. im so tired of marketing myself, especially when im aware of how man made all of these materialistic concepts are.
Well I’m not sure why I’m seeing your content, However fuck people beauty standards & keep it 💯 with yourself which you already have been doing so stay blessed and keep at it! ✊🏾
I love your honesty and I always assumed that you had the same issues we all do. I never have expected you to completely love yourself and ignore others. Showing both sides is so important because we don’t always accept ourselves but we need to try!
Thank you so much for this video (and your other long format content). As a fellow 20-something, I'm genuinely so so grateful for you sharing your perspective. Just you speaking about your experiences with insecurity and growing up amidst beauty standards makes me feel so much less alone in facing these same problems. I don't know you personally, but I really wish you the best in life!
Thank so much for this video Jess. People an online creator sounds like a really challenging thing, especially for intersectional women. You’re made this teen girl extremely happy for your online presence, so thank you. Please take breaks from the internet if you ever need it! Much love❤️❤️
I feel the exact same way ...i dont think it will ever chnage we just have to raise our children to loves themselves regardless and to accept but also workthrough our imperfections....but just a reminder that you are GORGEOUS!!! i followed u cuz ur style is different and cool and you're freaking adorable!
This is my first time commenting in a long while and I don't know if you see this, but thank you so much for letting us know that we are not alone thinking about these things. I saw your outfit videos on insta and admired your confidence so much and they inspired me so much to just make me happy, to focus on what would really give me an inner strength in the world, not just on materialistic things, but to find the beauty in everything. And honestly when you said you were concerned about beauty standards and how it made you feel you were missing out on work opportunities because you didn't fit into conventional standards, I have to say the opposite can be said because your differences and uniqueness attract so much in terms of work opportunities that nothing conventional can replace.
You made so many points I have myself obsessed over for so many exhausting years, it’s comforting knowing I’m not alone in feeling these ways. Thank you so much for speaking on this and making this video!!!
thank you for talking about this !!! this topic has also been on my mind a lot recently. I think this is why working towards fat liberation is so much more impactful than what the body positive movement has become in recent years. You can be the most self assured, confident person in world and still be viewed as ugly by most of the population - a status that opens you up to discrimination in all facets of your life. We will never be pretty enough to be free!!
I resonate with the frustration in this video so much!!! I'm so sick and tired of chasing something unattainable and shallow. I am just loving awareness in a meat suit!
thank you for saying what needs to be said, you are just a human & sharing the way u feel helps so many of us realise we’re not alone . i think learning about the origins of beauty standards is so so helpful & i would love to see a video about it !
You should read 'the beauty myth', it's a classic feminist text about how beauty is used as a social tool to control and subjugate women. It really opened my eyes when I read it and helped me to accept my own body a bit more.
As much as I agree with most everything you have said in this video, I have gotten an invasive surgery done. I used to have a bump on my nose and in highschool I would literally cover my face with my jacket or sweatshirt sleeve because I was so insecure about it. I am lucky enough to have family in Mexico to stay with and a good doctor where all they did was shave the bump of my nose off (no thinning, no perking it up). When I say it was the BEST decision of my life and I recommend it to anyone else who struggles with a bump on their nose, I mean it. Yes it might be against your culture or against your ancestors and it might be giving into the beauty standard… I DONT CAREEE !! It made me so much happier when I was younger and even today now I don’t have this insecurity. I don’t think we should fix every little thing with plastic surgery but if you can fix a small thing that bothered you all of your life, you do it sis and you own it ❤ love to all the females who get one small surgery that changed their life and even those with a bump on their nose
They’re tearing you apart because they’re jealous. They cannot be you and the fact is that you ARE…GENUINELY…UNIQUE AND WONDERFUL and they either AREN’T or are frustrated because they can’t tap into their own wonder. Hate mail is a sign that you are IMPACTING and DOING WONDERS. Sock it to them!!!!!!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Thank you SO MUCH for making this video and sharing your thoughts on this subject!!! Yes, I think everything you said makes sense. You have no idea how much I related to this, especially in my childhood and teenage years. Girl, you are so incredibly pretty!! Don't you dare to ever change ANYTHING in your face. At. All. I just keep getting blown away every time by how beautiful you are. I am so happy I found your channel! Please continue to upload videos with your outfits, it's so inspiring and it helps me appreciate my own body and wanting to try new styles ❤️ I really hate to see all the stupid comments people post about you. I love your content. Keep rocking!✨😎
When i knew you had a boyfriend i was sad cuz you are so attractive and very beautiful… i know this is silly lol i was just sad for a minute , i love your style so much🤍🤍🤍🫶🏼
I get it but: FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL - You are UNIQUE and potentially ICONIC. I so agree with what you’re saying re monetized beauty-but there are a SHIT TON more women who will relate to you, so child - BE the revolution. Listen, I graduated high school in 1986… you wouldn’t believe the hell I’ve seen…stop chasing. But I’m freaking delighted you gave it voice! PS-Don’t pluck your eyebrows-I did that in the 90’s and those pictures give me gas now. ❤
I can totaly relate and it feels really bad to know such a great person like you has to suffer from all of it. You deserve to exist, you have right to show yourself to other people, you deserve to have friends, love, family and any other stuff that you can be willing to have. But I also want to point that for me the way of blaming capitalism \ racism \ etc is not a cure. First reason: it's not the whole truth, that's not the only reasons, people naturally like 'beautiful' \ healthy \ standart people, and capitalism is only using this, but not creating. And secondly: it is bad idea from therapevtic point of view to see reason of the thing that cause a lot of pain in the life in something so big and uncontrollable. I for myself I think the way to deal with this is to grow respect to myself inside. Respect my body, respect my need to be liked, respect my sadness, respect my little fatfobic person inside... Respect all of my parts and try to be whole and peaceful. Be on your own side, not take side of other people, they'll never be in your place.
Neredeyse doğduğumdan beri kiloluyum hatta kilolu bile doğdum yani. Yıllar geçtikçe daha da aldım kilo yedikçe yedim yedikçe yedim. Ve su an neredeyse hastalıklarla savaşıyorum. Bunun üstesinden gelemiyorum. Yemeyi bırakamıyorum. Kendimi sürekli insanlardan daha düşük görüyorum. Ama bu video cok iyi geldi bana. Çok teşekkür ederim bu video için. ♡
I will never be beautiful. I'm 26 years old, but look younger than my age. I have these two younger cousins who are prettier than me because they both look older than their ages. They look like real grown women and I am stuck looking like a teenager. I wish I can look older than my age so I can be beautiful.
Girl stop-I don’t normally make comments like this about people, but you have a beautiful face, you have confidence and you are hilarious. Self love is important…Great videos
I think Jess does have a lot of self love! from my perspective, this video is about her recognizing that you can have all the self love in the world and people will still hate you for being "ugly" and existing. self work cannot replace social change!
Oh my! You look fantastic! Boney people are terrible to cuddle with. My wife is curvy and soft and I love it. I, however, need to gain some weight. It is so uncomfortable to feel the hardness of chairs or the floor. No matter how hard I try, I can't gain weight. Makes me feel like a dude. 😔 And, of course, the male gaze is not a problem here.
You don't need my opinion, but I'm gonna give it anyway! You are a perfect Botticelli model! And your little tum is so adorable. But I'm an Oompah Loompah charter member of the I.B.T.C. 🤷♀️ My husband of 33 years likes it, so...
It's about respecting yourself enough to stay healthy...being a good weight reflects your value of your own body and knowledge that you can pass onto your children ect. It's not a "beauty" standard...it's a health and self respect standard. People want people who are dedicated and smart and humble enough not to selfishly eat their selfs into a sick place. They call it beauty because it is beautiful to not let the stresses and darkness of thi world get to you. Cause over eating is a coping mechanism and it's to deal with the horribleness...it's HARD to stay fit in the modern world and people want to be around and influenced by those strong people that's where "popularity" comes into play.
You missed the point of the video so bad. Being fat doesn't equal being unhealthy. Even if it really does i can confidently say that todays beauty standards are way more unhealthy. More than half of the models lost their periods, they starve themselves, they influence young women A LOT. they're literally promoting eating disorders. Being thin is not healthy. Women need fat, it has estrogen in it that we need to stay healthy. People don't owe you "self respect", just stop caring about what other people do or don't with their bodies, you're gonna be happier too.
