Childfree by Choice: Why I'm a Childfree Black Woman

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Hey Single Roses! I'm BACK! 😂 Join me as I share my thoughts, experiences, and reasons behind my childfree decision. Whether you're considering a similar path or simply curious about the childfree lifestyle, this video will provide valuable insights and food for thought.
You can also find this episode on Spotify! spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/...
In this video I share why I don't want to have kids, why I'm childfree by choice in my 30's, top 3 reasons I don't want to have kids, motherhood isn't for everyone, and if the childfree movement has gone too far.
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Опубликовано:

7 окт 2023

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Комментарии : 409

@kameralkutie5594 8 месяцев назад

Whatever reason any black woman that doesn’t want children has is relevant and we don’t owe anyone an explanation point, blank, and the period. The End.💁‍♀️

@BB-gd7ez 7 месяцев назад

❤ That's it.

@queeniequeen949 7 месяцев назад

All of this. ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾IT!!!!!! 👏🏾

@barbararichardson2747 7 месяцев назад

I believe the only person to have that conversation with is a future spouse before marriage.If anyone else ask I simply say"that's personal".

@kimik01889 7 месяцев назад

Exactly!

@conversationswithadrianne 7 месяцев назад

EXACTLY!

@trevagraham1605 8 месяцев назад

As a black man in America I can't see how any black person can purposely have a child with a clear conscience. My unborn children are entirely too good for this world.

@danielshadowens9063 7 месяцев назад

I like how you finish this. There is too much famine, war and suffering coming on this world.

@ohhhhhnooooo 7 месяцев назад

Yeah bring babies into this world for people to spit on, sexual assaulting, verbally abusing them... oh because you want them here with you to help fight off bad people.

@sickofit5547 7 месяцев назад

I wouldn’t wish this world on my kids at all. Love them enough to sacrifice not seeing them.

@cedesley7296 7 месяцев назад

@@sickofit5547wowww your comment really tugged at my heart strings! It really hit and I love the way you phrased the thought of sacrificing not seeing your children in order for them to not have to experience the hardships of living in this world. I agree completely 👏🏾

@kiawilson9897 7 месяцев назад

I say this all the time!💯🙌🏾

@kishaquiller505 8 месяцев назад

I think more black women should choose to be child free. Most of the black women I see are baby mamas or married single moms. I see most of them are struggling and miserable

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Because of the programming...the programming for females offspring are to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses and male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses.

@Aeryaunne137 6 месяцев назад

I wish this were false or an exaggeration, but this statement is 💯% accurate. I do not know of one woman in my family of any age that is truly happy being a wife / mother. 😔 - I am very grateful being a 40+ year old child 🆓 spinster.💃🏽 - I dodged a plethora of life altering bullets!🙏🏽

@AWholeVibe96 6 месяцев назад

💯😂

@sabrinac1742 6 месяцев назад

I absolutely agree!

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

@@Aeryaunne137it's extremely unfortunate that the Patriarchal Order programming is extremely difficult to break/reject...

@TheMissMonie 8 месяцев назад

I thank you for this. As a black woman I've thought deeply, profoundly about children and decided I'm not doing it. Pregnancy, labor and all that is not for me. I'm not having my body change for anyone

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Yes, it’s so hard to think about my body going through all of that! Thanks for listening 💕

@daniella8400 7 месяцев назад

Same and I don’t want to be a single mom or a married single mom

@queeniequeen949 7 месяцев назад

@@daniella8400 This. THIS is why I’M child free. PERIOD!!! 🥰🙌🏾💯

@denesejamerson2356 7 месяцев назад

I got "fixed"! I don't play!

@SweetUareDesi 7 месяцев назад

@@denesejamerson2356oh damn 👏🏽💯

@janettucker3196 8 месяцев назад

People can poke all the holes they want in the childfree movement, it's not going to cause women to have babies. So blab away naysayers. Women are changing, like it or not.

@CelesteJem 7 месяцев назад

Exactly! And I’m so proud of us.

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Correct many females are breaking/rejecting the programming... female offspring are programmed to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses.

@Cateyes767 5 месяцев назад

As gen x woman, I'm very happy and proud that your generation really understands and sees this shit for what it really is

@mizzmolly7649 2 месяца назад

I'm 62. Never wanted a husband or children, and never cared for BM because of how most have been socialized. Instead, I focused on my career, traveled the world, bought a house and am still growing wealth. I've had a blast. So where have y'all been? 😘

@TheRealDySantos 7 месяцев назад

I LOVE LOVE hearing young women saying this. I am 45 without kids by choice and people are always so shocked. My sister doesn't have kids either and she's 48. We DON'T WANT CHILDREN. I always say my life is for me to live. GOOD JOB LADY!!!!

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Thanks 💕

@Aeryaunne137 6 месяцев назад

Same!-I am 41 years old and super ecstatic to be child free! - However, I wish my sister would have made similar choices instead of having four children by two complete and utter bums!😫

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

@@Aeryaunne137it's extremely unfortunate that...I think the programming is extremely difficult to break/reject... it's great that there are many who are rejecting the programming... women and men

@kimberlyjackson8343 8 месяцев назад

I'm 39 and I'm childfree by choice because kids are a big expense and kids are alot of hard work and alot of responsibility to take care of them and to raise them and I don't want to experience how painful childbirth is

@beaulieuc8910 8 месяцев назад

Same

@azure_0773 8 месяцев назад

Feels like I'm the only female who doesn't want children or have any interest or need to have children and neither do I like children or the idea of its financial burdens, sleepless nights, body changes, pregnancy and birth. Not for me and never will be. Much love to all the child free women out there I trust there are more of us somewhere in the world ❤️

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Yes, motherhood appears to be quite a heavy load and it’s not for every woman. It’s nice to have community with other childfree women! Thanks for listening 💕

@kay-collins 8 месяцев назад

Even as a child I knew I didn’t want kids & the older I get the more solidified that choice is! The looks & comments I get when I say that though is SO crazy! They’re used to the selfish “children are blessings!” bs & pleasantries surrounding the topic. They’re not used to people being real about it. & what’s real is not everyone should have children & this whole idea that “what you’re supposed to do in life” is get married & have kids is some bs. Having children is the single hardest job in the world & MOST PEOPLE are not qualified! I, MYSELF, admit that I’m not qualified & also do not want to force this life on someone I can’t get consent from to come here because life on THIS earth is nothing to play with! It’s crazy out here! We need to stop with this idea that everyone who wants to should be having kids & start drilling into peoples minds the real when it comes to it & not just “oh congrats! Children are blessings!! Oh what you don’t want kids!?! You’ll change your mind! Everybody does!” Like no... stop talking about having kids like buying some goldfish or something, or getting a house cat like “yeah everybody in the neighborhood has one” smh like having kids is just meant to add a little spice & entertainment to your life or something & it’s just so simple almost any one can do it because let’s face it, not everyone can even take care of GOLDFISH okay?? & we’re trying to push having HUMAN CHILDREN onto people?? Smh no way... aint no way.

@queeniequeen949 8 месяцев назад

You are DEFINITELY NOT the only one who feels this way. I definitely do NOT see my self EVER having to go through the process of being pregnant or raising a child ALONE WITHOUT a loving and faithful husband by my side. Even if I were to get married it’s not a guarantee the husband would be there for me anyway. A man can wake up and decide he wants no part of it and I’m the one who stuck with that day-to-day responsibility for our child bearing and child rearing so it’s a HARD pass for me. 😕🙅🏾‍♀️👎🏾❌

@legacysjourney6034 7 месяцев назад

25 children might change my mind by 28-30

@bugpopsicles 7 месяцев назад

@@kay-collins⁠⁠”being a parent is the single hardest job in the world and MOST PEOPLE are not qualified” excuse me, but would you mind stepping up here on my roof top and SHOUTING that point for the whole world to hear?? 👏🏼👆🏼 cause it needs to be heard in a very real way

@FleurRebelle 7 месяцев назад

I don’t need a “real” reason to not want children… peace and quiet is good enough for me.. I don’t think women need a “ good enough” reason to not do ish…

@donney6222 2 месяца назад

i was about to comment the same thing. no one needs a real reason to not have children. if you don’t want children then do not have them it’s as simple as that. no one can tell anyone that they don’t have a good enough reason for not wanting children. it’s your life!

@TheLisa0123 8 месяцев назад

A lot of the reasons that you mentioned are also true within the Latino community. My family is from the Dominican Republic and from an early age I could see how sexist, anti-black, and classist people can get. No child should have to suffer through that. I too am childfree by choice just to prevent this cycle of trauma and find inner peace.

@thecrow4597 8 месяцев назад

Narcissism incarnate

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

So happy you’ve found peace in your choice! I have too! Thank you for listening 🌹

@AngelaJones-db9fj 8 месяцев назад

I think childfree ppl by choice really care about thier unborn. I been getting my butt wiped at birth. My mother used to beat me with whips, belts and extension cords. Mainly for not going to church.

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

@saliormoon5534 4 месяца назад

So happy for you 😊

@loveandjoy810 8 месяцев назад

She’s not wrong. 😂My morning. Wake up at 5 go to the gym, rush back home to get the kids up for school. Pack their lunches ( including my husbands lunch) make everyone breakfast and lay it out for them. Unload the dishwasher, make the beds. Start up my computer ( I’m a nurse that works from home). See the kids off to school and take out the trash. My husbands morning. Wake up- play on his phone for 30 minutes. Take a shower and get dressed. Eat the breakfast waiting for him on the table. Leave without even seeing the kids - drive to work. I work all day, he works all day. Then I make dinner, help the kids or drive them to appointments. Load the dishwasher, get the kids ready for bed. ( He’s been watching tv after dinner) I fall into bed nearly dead and he’s ready for action. When I tell him I’m tired he says I don’t love him. I just found out that this is called married single mother. I’ve been to every parent teacher conference, field trip, game. appointment minor surgery like dental stuff. He wanted to have 4 kids. I couldn’t. I was too exhausted with the 3 we did have. Both of my girls have decided they don’t want children. They see what I do and said “ Get somebody else to do it.” 😂

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! 💕Side note: it’s really cool that you get to WFH as a nurse!

@loveandjoy810 8 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownroses It’s funny. When my husband and I would have disagreements he would say if we ever split he would fight for custody. I was like fight? Ain’t no fight about it. I will give you 100% full custody of the kids, along with their routines, names of their doctors and teachers, their medication schedules and the names of their badminton and Girl Scout troop leaders and the hair stylist and braider. I told him I would visit every other weekend and do something fun with the kids. I will gladly pay child support. He NEVER made that statement ever again. He knew I was fucking serious as a heart attack. Also I knew things were going to be tough for me when after our first child was born and he stopped cleaning up after himself and when I asked him to at least pick up his messes he said. You’re the mommy, I looked at him and said, yes but I’m not YOUR mommy. He he still doesn’t clean up after himself and it drives me crazy how much of a slob he is.

@BlackChad_AO 8 месяцев назад

If you had to commute I would understand, but you work from home, you're blessed to have your family And she said there's nothing he can do to stop her resentment regardless simply because she was pregnant, psycho talk Keep doing what you're doing,most of these single moms&women 30+ yrs old with no kids are a mess, drunks,potheads, stressed out, ran through by low-tier men, and have horrible attitudes, especially in blakistan Sabotage your marriage at your own risk

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

@@BlackChad_AO Stop trying to invalidate her experiences with your own bias. You don’t have the authority to tell other people how they should feel about their own lives.

@miss0lialei 7 месяцев назад

@@BlackChad_AO stay at home parents have a 24 hr job you cant clock out, leave work. Your family is your work! I have worked at home with a toddler, not easy when your family is a distraction and you have to meet deadlines.

@chadguindon6909 8 месяцев назад

As a 39 year old man, I am choosing to be single/unmarried and childfree. My top 3 reasons are the following.... 1. They are too expensive and you have to pay for them. 2. I don't want the responsibility of taking care of a child and raising that child. 3. I don't wanna bring a child into this disgusting world we live in, it is a very scary place. Those are just 3 reasons among a huge amount of other reasons and I'm good where I am, no regrets.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Yes, so expensive! Thank you for sharing ♥️

@ashlynprather45 Месяц назад

Why unmarried tho? What if you find a partner that Also doesn’t want kids?

@kearamarshay 7 месяцев назад

“If I can spare a child from being related to the ppl I’m related to, I’m going to do that!” Baby you just said a word!! I agree wholeheartedly ❤️❤️❤️

@cosmicbrownie333 8 месяцев назад

I'm 33 and when people ask me why I don't have any kids I always say "For the same reasons why you chose to. Choice/preference/desire". I've never been interested in "mothering" in any way. I don't even want to be a god parent lol. Honestly, life will always have it's ebb & flow. However, it is easier & less stressful when you're not a parent. As a BW when I disclose this to people the energy in the room always shifts because it's like I've escaped the burdens and struggles they want me to have because society hates seeing women rest (especially when you're black lol). The biggest comment I get from men and women is "Wow you got lucky" as if parenting and your reproductive health isn't something you consciously PLAN for and keep in mind. I'm neutral about marriage as well. I don't fit the unspoken stereotypes many people (especially in our own communities) place on unambiguous black women. It's usually met with smug comments and a lot of "Must be nice" lol

@shawnlove4502 8 месяцев назад

Girl!!!! Same here. I told my partner yesterday I won't enter a union that says Il be miserable and it's normal. Hell naw..😂 not being married and miserable. Folks are insane. I agree with you completely. I have a daughter (15) I had her in high school thank goodness. Because back then things were different. It's very scary now, I'm 32, still young and got it out the way. I'm too scared to do it again.

@fruitsalad350 8 месяцев назад

@@shawnlove4502I’m curious- why do you feel it’s scarier now to have a child?

@shawnlove4502 8 месяцев назад

@@fruitsalad350 Because families break up every day. Seems like pll can't make it through the first 2 years without breaking up.

@ailadacia9309 8 месяцев назад

Yea people actually resent you for not having kids in the black community

@barbararichardson2747 7 месяцев назад

@@ailadacia9309Black for 50+ years and was unaware of that !

@BeingHumane173 7 месяцев назад

Motherhood is every woman's personal choice, not an obligation, no matter what. Women dont owe this world or anyone any kid/kids. Your life, your body, your choice, no one else's business. Stay strong ! Personally, I am childfree, because of the fact that childbirth is absolutely horrific and I am terrified of childbirth. And I totally agree with you on this. Thanks a lot for the video .

@hadijakalyegira4107 7 месяцев назад

As a mother of one, I often get “ told” that my only child needs a sibling usually by BW, my reply is when you put one in me first we can raise it together. The reaction is as if I spat on them lol. I too did what society expected of me so I thought, tried the old I can do it better since my childhood was pure trauma. Picked a hobo ( struggle love) who traumatized me and brought nothing but uncertainty into my life. Oh did I ever play house, was traditional, generous, took his lead and it left me nowhere, except with the struggle of taking care of my child alone. In black community there is no help, everyone is busy hating, and yes people despise a rested BW particularly men. Ladies have children only when you are mentally ready. Don’t let a few seconds of bodily fluid ruin your life. Protect your wombs. I would never judge a women for staying single child free.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing this 💕

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

As you said you followed the programming... female offspring are programmed to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses.

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Your correct protect your Uterus... don't allow males to use as an object/sex slave.

@queeniequeen949 8 месяцев назад

The best part of being child free is freedom. The freedom of being able to enjoy the simple things. The freedom to be carefree. The freedom to worry less about a potential child’s safety. The freedom from being up all night because of a screaming child. The freedom to go home to a clean quiet home. The freedom from dealing with deadbeat dads who won’t help take care of their kids. The freedom from the baby mama drama. The freedom from chasing child support checks. The freedom from being a struggling single mom who works hard but is still in debt. The freedom to have more disposable income to use as I please while saving money. The freedom from a lot of the stress from the child being sick, acting out in school, etc. I wouldn’t trade this life for ANYTHING and idgad what ANYONE says.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

👏🏾 👏🏾👏🏾

@queeniequeen949 8 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownrosesthe funniest/annoying thing about being child free is that people expect you to go through with pregnancy/motherhood whether you want to or not!! Instead of fixing the problem that we have in the communities we live in, they would rather bring MORE children in it and expect those children to fix it!!! 🙄🙄🙄

@reneedennis2011 7 месяцев назад

@@queeniequeen949Good point.

@Europa1749 5 месяцев назад

Such good points. Why would anyone choose to live below the poverty line?

@queeniequeen949 5 месяцев назад

@@Europa1749well, people say misery loves company. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

@jupiterscorner5423 8 месяцев назад

All of this. I am 35 yr blk woman and child free for all of these reasons. Families tend to be toxic and unhealthy. I had to cut off my father. I dont like it care for ny brother at all. I havr no desire to birth any black or biracial kids into this world. I had to accept that im not family oriented. Because i been abused and bullied by my own family. I been bullied by peers in childhood school and in workplaces. I have no village in my life right now but crave a village of women for emotional support and sisterhood

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

I hope you find a healthy sisterhood! 🫶🏾

@reneedennis2011 7 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownrosesSo do I.

@barbarajohnson3876 7 месяцев назад

72, black woman, married 52, child free by choice yrs, with NO regrets. Wish more women would feel free to make same choice

@nox7282 5 месяцев назад

Have you run into any health issues where you’ve felt alone and not advocated for yet? I’m asking this as a 32 yo CF woman who cares for older relatives with health issues. This is the only thing I fear about being CF... aging and decline of health. Paid nurses don’t seem to care as much as relatives, when relatives are present.

@barbarajohnson3876 2 месяца назад

No, ret nurse/psychiatrist. I advocate for myself, family, and friends. Been working out since 1980, on no meds, still fit in wedding gown, trying to talk hubby into going along with me getting lil nip tuck to face. Just kidding. All of my friends with kids, overweight, on multitude of meds, saggy boobs, prolapsed bladders/uteri. Hubby asked why they have to constantly go to bathroom, lol. Wishing u and all women who choose to remain childfree, good health and happiness. Love fr expat, living in Panama

@barbarajohnson3876 2 месяца назад

Also, I worked in nursing homes, as nurse, and saw many ppl with many kids get no visitors, while childfree had multitude of friends, neighbors looking in. Get good long term care ins plan

@cashmirkiTiKat6006 7 месяцев назад

I am so glad that young women have become so enlightened! Being a mom, working full time, and taking on the burden of everyone in the household can destroy you physically, emotionally, and mentally.

@MaryJaneJones. 2 месяца назад

Boom 🤯🤯🤯💥

@Simpliyvonne 8 месяцев назад

I am the first born child of immigrants parents and I have known since I turned 30 (3 years ago) that I don’t want kids . Your reasons are my own reasons as well . I am so happy more and more people are being more open about their own childfree decisions.

@bridgetburkett8681 8 месяцев назад

PREACH sister!!! You speak the truth in so many ways all across the board. I don't hear anyone speak about the precariousness of a woman having a baby by a man who can opt out at any given time.

@sigmasiren777 8 месяцев назад

This was so well said. I'm 33 with no kids & I want a family eventually when I feel ready, but at the same time, I don't see the world as fit to bring a child in & men are just too unpredictable & unreliable. It's really a game of chance & you never know what the outcome may be when you take it.

@thepragmatist 7 месяцев назад

I completely agree with this.

@Aeryaunne137 6 месяцев назад

Do you believe the world 🌎 will improve or get worse in the coming years? - Just interested to know how people get mentally ready to start a family in the mist of pure chaos on every level.

@sigmasiren777 6 месяцев назад

@Aeryaunne137 Well, I believe we are in the last days, so it'll get worse before getting better.

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

@@Aeryaunne137I think it's extremely difficult to break the programming... female offspring are programmed to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses/sexual predators and male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses.

@techtaley 7 месяцев назад

I don’t regret not having a child for many of the reasons you mentioned. For me it was a totally unselfish decision based on realities that I can’t deny as a Black woman. I haven’t lost anything in my choice to remain child free. In fact, I have experienced many paths to a fulfilling and happy life. Life is too big, exciting, and short to pine away over not having.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

So well said! 💕

@CarolinaJanetIbarraMtz 7 месяцев назад

I'm not a black woman but i respect childfree women,it's your body then it's your choice, it's way much better being a happy childfree woman than a unhappy and frustated bad mother

@malgorzatawojtys9846 7 месяцев назад

She would not have been a bad mother though. This is a false comparison.

@erinsymone1645 7 месяцев назад

Sorry for ANOTHER comment but everything you are saying here is gold. Especially about the poor health of the Black community, and not wanting to bring a child into it. I worry about that too, especially if I had a daughter. I think you are listening to true female instinct. What black women are doing - giving birth in extremely stressful and unnatural conditions, is actually quite bizarre. No other female creature in nature would voluntarily choose to reproduce into an extremely sick and unhealthy environment. Women and children need peace, health, and provision in order to thrive. It's very rare that we can offer that in this day and age, and the reality is that we are cheating our children when we bring them into unsafe, dangerous conditions. All good things to think about.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Don’t be sorry! I read all of your comments and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. 😊 I agree with you! Thank you for listening 💕

@ms.rivera7898 6 месяцев назад

Amen!

@gratefulgrace8023 7 месяцев назад

Do you and live your life as you choose. Those of us who have chosen to be childless don't owe anyone an explanation but I can understand how your background influenced your choice. People have judged me and made snarky remarks about my choice because they weren't strong enough to push back on societal pressures. Consequently, they're stuck with kids they never wanted, often as a single parent, and they harbor resentment against me and other childless women. I've never wanted children. I never wanted to raise anyone else's. I know women who felt the desire to cradle a baby in their arms. I don't know what that desire feels like. I never felt that need because I don't have a biological clock. I never cried myself to sleep because my clock was ticking. I welcomed menopause. I married later in life because I could afford to be choosy in a mate. My husband has no children so there are no "baby mama" or adult children issues in our relationship. Too many women settle for less out of desperation to reproduce. I am 59 with no regrets of being childless.

@vapidculture 8 месяцев назад

My biggest reason is the blk community, as well. Racism is bad but the dynamics within community is worst. Global warming is also something to be concerned about. What will the future out look be without resources we've grown up with. Plus, the economy is unsustainable.

@Coco-lz4gg 7 месяцев назад

My family of origin is the only one I want. I don't want to be a mother to a black child in a world that's hostile to blacks. I'm also not putting my life on the line to give a legacy to a man who doesn't like kids. I'd rather help care for the children who are already here by being a teacher or helping my nibblings financially. I plan to leave them all the money I've earned through an inheritance.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

That’s really amazing that you’ve considered the ways you can nurture your community! I was a teacher before too and now I tutor reading online. It’s so rewarding to help the other children who are already here, like you said! Thanks for sharing your thoughts 😊

@louischestnut7290 7 месяцев назад

SHE has observed, researched AND spoken. Well done. Salute.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Thanks 😊

@Aniexo_ 8 месяцев назад

I disagree with your take. Any reasons for being child free isn’t selfish or shallow. Silence is very much a privilege. Sleep is also a privilege lol not every reason has to be deep In Thought.

@Venusbeauty1111 Месяц назад

Same! Every reason is valid, and just because you don’t want to is enough. Hell, you don’t even need a reason.

@lannyogarro1609 Месяц назад

Correct. It was very emotion driven and base on self assumption.

@gitchygitchyyaya 7 месяцев назад

Poking holes in what? Not wanting a child is more than enough reason. End of story 😂 I’m not going to sit here and try to convince someone that I DO have a choice. It’s not my job to convince someone else that my choice is valid. They can eff right off. Bye bye.

@TheQueen-sb9uz 7 месяцев назад

Agreed. Great video but I didn't like the beginning. Any reason is a good reason. Who cares if the breeders disagree or poke holes. It's not their business.

@novasummer888 6 месяцев назад

I’m so unmotivated to have kids.

@reexg98 7 месяцев назад

I believe we put more thought into it than most people that just jumped into parenthood as if it’s an easy, whimsical experience lol

@erinsymone1645 7 месяцев назад

Your first reason was everything. I actually want children, but I very much struggle with the biological imbalances. It is VERY clear to me that women hold the primary responsibility for child-rearing, and as you said, nothing a man can do will correct that balance. I've been asking myself, "am I okay with being a single mom?" because that will be the reality of the situation if I do go through with reproduction. I know it's extremely controversial to state but thinking about the massive biological imbalance in reproductive responsibility is why I lowkey do not believe in father's rights like, at all. How can a man have the same rights to a child as me if he will never have the same responsibility? As you said, many men can and do simply opt out of the responsibility AT ANY TIME, so why are the "rights" permanent for him? Especially in the Black community, I've witness men opt out at ALARMING rates. (And for the record, I do consider paying child support as a form of opting out as well - after all, sending a couple hundred dollars a month really isn't much of anything. I send that to the utility company lol, can you really say that I'm impacting someone's life by sending them a check?). I could go on about this topic forever but I'll stop here and just say that I am SO GLAD other Black women are having these same thoughts and conversations.

@learningearning8385 6 месяцев назад

I would want kids as well but there’s an extremely high chance that your child will become a delinquent. The prisons are full of bm raised by single mothers. I consider raising a bm similar to raising a pit bull puppy. They’re cute…until they get older and drag you. You’re not even strong enough physically to challenge them or protect them from themselves. Men.. can barely discipline them so how can you? My potential kids are better than that & for that reason I’ve opted out.

@pink1237480 8 месяцев назад

I would have liked to have had children but I don't trust. I'll never trust anyone 100% and that's sad. I try my best to be trust worthy and reliable but others won't do that for me not even my own family members. My mom wants me to have grandkids but she won't be there for me like how I was for her.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

I completely understand that feeling.

@ReinaLovesJazz 7 месяцев назад

A Child free black woman here 👋🏾 This is one of the best commentaries about the issue I've ever heard. I agree 💯 Here's to not giving into societal norms! I'll also add that pressures from the church are so ignorant. I've witnessed elders scold women for not wanting children and yet overly criticize the ones who have children as not being good enough moms. Can't win. #optingout

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for listening 💕

@highheeledfagin 8 месяцев назад

A woman can choose to not have a child for whatever reason she chooses -: your reasons are not loftier or more worthy than anybody else's. Have kids or don't have kids - your choice - but using it as a way to judge other's to make yourself look superior isn't it. I don't want kids because I don't want kids and that is the only reason that I need 🤦🏽‍♀️🖤💜

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

I was pointing out that the mainstream conversation around being childfree remains at the surface level. While I do believe there is a “why” behind our desires, I agree that all reasons are valid, including yours.This wasn’t an attempt to look superior but to add depth to the conversation.

@IndependentPrettyGirlis 8 месяцев назад

Periodtttt. Who cares who says what? Not to mention that valuing your freedom and not wanting children because you value your freedom is 100% of valid reason so I don't even see what she's talking about. The reason she had were good, but she started off the video on a very stupid note. You are not better than anyone else because you think you have better reasons. At the end of the day you're making the exact same decisions as the rest of us child-free women so instead of judging us, how about you look at the true perpetrators because they're the ones harassing us for the choices that were making with our own bodies. It's our body, we can do and make whatever choice we want, you don't have to think it's a good reason. I said what I said.

@IndependentPrettyGirlis 8 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownrosesit sounds like an attempt to look Superior to me. You started off the video saying exactly that, that those weren't good reasons. Wanting to wake up to silence isn't a good reason, how is wanting to wake up the silence not a good reason? How is wanting to wake up in peace not a good reason? because you think your reasons are better? So incredibly irritating. When we choose what we want to do with our bodies, even women will turn against us and start saying all type of ridiculous things to us. Like it's our choice, no matter the reason. Who cares what you think is a good reason or not.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

@@IndependentPrettyGirlis I’ve already said it wasn’t an attempt to be superior, and I’m okay with you not believing me. Your reasons are just as valid as mine and my personal opinion isn’t an attack on you. Thank you for listening 💕

@IndependentPrettyGirlis 8 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownroses it's definitely an attack on me and every other woman that has chosen to not have children based off of any reason that's not your own. Go back and listen to your own video. But on a positive note, this is inspired my next video. I do like that you are continuing to have this conversation though, so keep it up

@Quincy82AAC 7 месяцев назад

I am a childfree black man at 41. 😎🌞

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Rare! Do you still want children one day?

@natalieac8409 7 месяцев назад

I know a young woman that had one child and took care and loved him very much. She didn't get married, but had wanted to. The man wasn't reliable. She still would like to be married, but doesn't want anymore children. Tired of taking care of others( also spent teen years helping raise siblings), and having no one to be there for her. I didn't agree because she was still in her twenties, and probably asking too much of any man she may marry. Now I get it though. I have a grown son and understand what it takes. Women need support from the family and the farher and the community before during and after every child birth. Its not just about creating and saving the fetuses, its about caring for and reering the children of the community. Its one of the most important aspects of being a mother. Deciding if the environment she is bringing the child into is healthy and good for her child. Unfortunately, our societies have become over all, irrisponsible and in some cases dangerous to bring children into...or maybe have not become, but always have been. The proof is in the pudding. We first need to show that we've learned from our mistakes as a community and society, before sacrificing our potential children to it.

@kimlisette4442 6 месяцев назад

I wish I had been this self aware in my younger years. Being a parent is definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. Had I known myself more and understood what is involved I would have been child free! The emotional responsibilities for me was/is the most challenging. I love the way you broke this all down!! What a perspective. Respect your insight!!

@ibuymyownroses 6 месяцев назад

Thank you! 😊

@Jac527 8 месяцев назад

My country is top 11 highest maternal mortality rate in the world!! Plus, abortion rates s illegal and contraception are unavailable except men’s condom which by far men refuse to use anyway and poverty. I have opted out completely of relationship and marriage including kids because what is the point when all odds are against women. Better safe than sorry. I rather regret not getting married and having children than regret having them.

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Correct, you hit the nail on the head... you've rejected the programming... female offspring are programmed to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses.

@roxycocksey 8 месяцев назад

Totally 100% agree with everything you’re saying. I’m not black so I won’t comment on those parts, but the not wanting to be pregnant, give birth, and carry that burden is something I heavily relate to. I just can’t do it. The thought of going through all the pain, uncomfortableness, body changes, it HORRIFIES me. I truly think I have Tokophobia. I sometimes think about how we as a human species evolved to reproduce in such a horrific way like WHY?! Why couldn’t we have evolved to lay eggs or something easy?! I also have many hobbies and would not want to give that up because I’d have to dedicate all my time to a kid. I don’t want to lose my identity either. I don’t want to have to take forever to leave the house for something as simple as going to the grocery store, it’s already enough of a chore for me as it is without a kid in the mix. I don’t want to lose the spontaneity in my life & relationship. I’m 31 so I’ve got to make up my mind here soon. But my whole life, even when I myself was a child, I have always said I don’t want kids. So I’m thinking I’m probably going to always feel this way and I shouldn’t have one just because I *might* regret it one day. I can always adopt I suppose. I would probably be more inclined too if surrogacy was easier to access and not as expensive. The pregnancy/birth/womanly responsibility are the biggest deterrents for me.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

If we could just lay eggs, this place would be even more overpopulated 🤣🤣 I really appreciate how you’ve considered how your day to day life would look with children. A lot of people like the idea of having kids but don’t give consideration to how it changes a woman’s day to day reality, even in the small ways. Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts ❤️

@pattygeee2298 7 месяцев назад

💯… I tell my daughter to don’t have children. So far she’s listening.

@barbararichardson2747 7 месяцев назад

Is she an adult and do you also tell her not to marry?

@pattygeee2298 7 месяцев назад

@@barbararichardson2747 She saw how my marriage went and how her father treated me and how he treats his now wife so she’s decided not to get married. Yes she’s an adult.

@hadijakalyegira4107 7 месяцев назад

I tried that by demonstrating my actions, ummm it didn’t work now who is struggling? Luckily I am my daughters village all day!l.

@theunknownbachatero8899 8 месяцев назад

I'm a single guy (44). Considering the "imbalance" issue is the main reason why I don't want to get a woman pregnant (or get married). I also do enjoy the perks of being childfree 😂. When I do tell most of my female acquaintances that I don't want to marry or have kids, however, I get asked if I fear responsibility & commitment.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

It’s nice to know some men are embracing this lifestyle as well. Thanks for listening!

@mamiesews123 7 месяцев назад

You are an intelligent woman.however..I'm white and in the 70's decided Not to have children However I did ..mainly because of male disrespect against women period

@hunybee5558 8 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing your perspective because women and young girls need to understand this dynamic. Congratulations on your firm choice to be child free! It is your choice to make.

@TheMissMonie 8 месяцев назад

I grew up adopted and I helped my niece's and nephew's of 8 on one side and there are 6 on the other family side. My brothers and sisters have had children for me.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

It’s really nice to be a member of someone else’s village to help them, now that I’m an adult with my own resources.

@safia9536 8 месяцев назад

I don't even have to make a video now. You killed it!!!!!!!! 💞

@Chunlialways 8 месяцев назад

We are all living in desperate times financially. I question how people could even afford to have kids in today's times.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Same! I can barely afford me! grocery prices are wild these days

@hadijakalyegira4107 7 месяцев назад

These men will camp out in your home if you let them as a level up. They love to make you a mule.

@Chunlialways 7 месяцев назад

@@hadijakalyegira4107 that's why we have to teach future women to be childfree bc this world is really not going into something good but very sinister the higher ups is playing with everybodys money and lives.

@beautyforashes1948 6 месяцев назад

I see folks with 5/6/7/8/9/10 hell nawl lolollolololo

@GiveHerFlowers 7 месяцев назад

It was refreshing to hear someone else discuss not being “family oriented” aspect of it. I’m not around people who can relate on a day to day basis so I always feel a bit isolated and misunderstood when it comes to that part of my reasoning.

@2010jxavier 8 месяцев назад

Although I believe all reasons are valid for not having children (be it shallow or not), you’ve made a lot of points that I didn’t consider. I recently came to the decision to be childfree and feel great about it. I’ll take these reasons and add them to my very extensive list. Thank for making this video!

@Tarot_withAsh 8 месяцев назад

Thanks for sharing your experience. you spoke nothing but facts. I can relate alot of what u said. I really wish younger me would of heard a Podcast like this before I had my son. I hope this reaches young women who romanticize about being a mother, because the struggle is REAL. it really does take a Village like you said. Keep these coming podcast coming. I really enjoyed this. 🔥🔥

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

I’m gonna try my best to keep them coming but girl it’s a lot to record and edit one of these 😂

@Tarot_withAsh 8 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownroses 😂😂 tell me about it. I feel the same way trynna edit my youtube videos

@braveysweeter 7 месяцев назад

Thats true its a scary world. my son is half black, im from philippines. paternity test is there to prove he is the father but he disappeared.. back in other country.. no matter how kind we can be, some are wicked. this is not about money, i paid all my needs for pregnancy til i gave birth and that real dna test procedure. He just vanished

@Rebecca.xoxoxo 7 месяцев назад

Usually how it goes with black men 🙄

@braveysweeter 7 месяцев назад

@@Rebecca.xoxoxo their bad character will rot them somehow.. male are free to do that cause they dont get pregnant anyway

@margaretmukasa2998 7 месяцев назад

That is a story of black men: make babies and 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️

@glidkomer 4 месяца назад

Why'd you get pregnant by him? Likely he didn't want kids, women are bearers of children.

@antinatalistwitch111 4 месяца назад

These black men are online telling black women that we are the issue and thats why they are going overseas. But i have heard so many stories of them also leaving their preferences as well. Wish u the best of luck on your journey.

@seraiahdaniella3755 7 месяцев назад

Around 30 I got hit with the "omg my ovaries!" bug. I wanted children so badly, it physically hurt to see pregnant women, who appeared to be everywhere. I was also incredibly naïve, partnered with a dude who was... not ideal (I'm being incredibly generous describing him). Fast forward to around...36? It began to dawn on me that I didn't want to bring a child into this world. I didn't like the direction humanity was headed towards and it felt both irresponsible and unfair to a child's future to subject them to what is coming. (No one was talking about child-free anything back then.) Yet...at the same time, I still wanted to experience motherhood. It was a strange internal battle. Fortunately, I didn't encounter any viable partners. No man who was husband and father material, according to my standards. At 41, I'm grateful that I never got pregnant, as badly as I'd initially wanted to, because a) my mindset has COMPLETELY changed, as I have had plenty of free time for self reflection, development, and growth. None of which would have been possible if I was busy pouring all that love and attention into a baby; b) I love my freedom; c) I've been advised by at least one person (with multiple children) to value my freedom and not have kids. If I'd succeeded in having a child with the dude I was with when I had initially wanted them, I'd be a bitter single mother today. Not only did we eventually break up, but he's also been dead for 3 years. In hindsight, I'm truly grateful that I didn't get what I (thought) I wanted.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing this! Stories from childfree women over 40 are so needed and appreciated rn! 💕

@Coco-lz4gg 7 месяцев назад

I was always afraid to marry, get pregnant, and end up a single parent due to the death of my spouse. As a part of black culture, women are strongly encouraged to have children for a man. So what ends up happening is that some of us have kids WE DON'T WANT for someone who we can't guarantee will be around for the long term. I was 8 years old when I decided not to have kids. I was the oldest of 4 and I was tired of being told as a child to "set the example" for my siblings. I couldn't even be a child and had to play the role of a stage of life I hadn't entered yet and didn't know what it entailed. Right now, I'm parenting my inner child and have chosen a profession that will allow me to "play" with kids every day as a teacher. I lost my childhood in a way and I'm too busy trying to give my inner child what I didn't get as a kid. I get to break generational curses in a small way by allowing the children in my family to be children and help them talk through their problems instead of reprimanding them. All I wanted was a mother who would listen to me instead of being frustrated every day for being a married single mother. Dad was always a hard worker but never made enough money for my mom to live comfortably. My mom is a perfectionist with a type A personality so I got the brunt of the emotional damage as the oldest child. For the better part of my adult life, I wished a situation would develop where I could just have a hysterectomy and be done with it. Fortunately for me, at 36 I ended up getting fibroids and endometriosis so I was able to have this wish granted a few years ago. I've been celibate since birth so getting pregnant was never going to happen anyway. I just wanted to be doubly sure that pregnancy was never going to happen should I become a victim of sexual assault. The last thing I wanted was to violently become pregnant by some degenerate who got mad at me because I rejected his advances while passing him on the street.

@jasmine1029 6 месяцев назад

LOL the eldest daughter effect. I’ve raised enough kids in my lifetime, I couldn’t wait to leave

@miscalotastuff733 7 месяцев назад

My problem is handing down with ever increasing autism, incurable mental illness, and other issues I really dont want handing down to another person. The treatment of autistic people especially minority autistic childrsn can be very difficult. I couldnt afford their treatments due to insurance not covering anything of use. Plus I discovered I couldnt have them. By the time I was 11 I made my decision. I really dont want a kid coming into todays hate filled and violent world.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

You make a good point about being mindful about the conditions we pass on. Especially with the cost of healthcare and insurance.Thanks for sharing 💕

@3-65.0 8 месяцев назад

sorry what you had to deal with during childhood, that's a rough way to live, and your mental toughness shows..respect for you without a doubt,,...but yeah, even as a male, i can honestly say that people who bring kids into this world, especially in impoverished conditions, truly are not aware of the type of evil and dogs eat dog world we live in..almost like the matrix, a few of us see through the bs programming like sports, culture, politics, race, and religion that most people actively participate in...reality is, humans are not stable creatures, and speaking in terms, most relationships won't last, especially with online social media, and online dating making it as easy as 123 to find a "better" match than one already has so single parents homes will just become more and more common...think about it, an extra 1k could go towards a new car, better health insurance, a better apartment, and etc etc..these days, financial sustainment is only built for just 1 person unlike the 1930-early 2000's eras where the economy was so much more well off and supportive of huge families..big rant i just made, but i just cannot grasp why people would bring kids into a world that's already falling apart and we all know that a falling apart economic system is just going to result in more lunatics and mentally un-stable/dangerous people wondering around causing more harm to society since they themselves are not built out or cut out for this very un-intriging existence on earth and simply cannot cope,,,..given the fact that i'm a person who does not suffer from identity issues, and simply has detached myself from this place, i could care less what some random has to say about "wanting" kids..

@GoOutsideToday2024 7 месяцев назад

I am happily child free in my 50s. I thought I wanted children (when “everyone” was doing it). Thank goodness that feeling passed. I would not have the great life I have now if I were a parent. I feel like I dodged a bullet.

@erinsymone1645 7 месяцев назад

I agree women need a community of women. I started to question the nuclear family model (not completely against it, I just question it) specifically because I realized that a man cannot replace what a community of other women can do for you. You need sisters, aunts, grandmothers, nieces, girlfriends, etc. around you to be a thriving mother in my opinion. One man in a home is not going to be able to mimic that community of women.

@glidkomer 4 месяца назад

Gotta live in a village filled with nurturing women.

@gordonallen9095 7 месяцев назад

Love her honesty. If you don't want to have and care for a child, you have the RIGHT not to do so. The mortality rate of African American women in childbirth is high. And NO woman needs to be an intentional single mother. The outcomes for children from single female headed households is horrendous. At least, MARRY before you CARRY. And bottom line, motherhood is not for EVERY woman. I know a LOT of oldest siblings both male and female who NEVER wanted children because of the responsibility forced upon them by a parent of caring for younger siblings. I understand her reasoning.

@ohhhhhnooooo 7 месяцев назад

People said that I am not contributing to the world. But there are other ways to contribute... help fostering kids, teach kids, donate to help save animals, entertains people by singing, dancing, making music or writing a book.... Don't have to give birth to children. It is okay to help other peoples children, but I hope they don't take advantage of that.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Absolutely! 💕

@denesejamerson2356 7 месяцев назад

True that!

@cosmospray 7 месяцев назад

Apart from the black community that I don’t know many things about, i can relate, just as a woman, in this world. I can relate so much.

@vaneziahamilton 8 месяцев назад

I love this 🖤

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Thank you for watching! 🌹

@CapricornQueen7425 8 месяцев назад

All of your reasons for deciding not to have kids are excellent ones. I feel that more BW need to get on board with this movement of not having kids. I feel there needs to be a moratorium on having kids in the BC.

@beaulieuc8910 8 месяцев назад

Women get the rough end of it all

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Because female offspring are programmed to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses.

@ellah2303 7 месяцев назад

The child hood trauma comment 14:10 is straight facts.

@AWholeVibe96 6 месяцев назад

Y’all know what grinds my gears the most, when another Black woman (that’s usually a mother) tries to guilt trip me into having a baby. Especially when their argument is something along the lines of: “You’ll understand when you have kids.” “ I went through it so you have to.” (Usually hear that from family) Or any other condescending, passive comments. It’s EXHAUSTING.

@ibuymyownroses 6 месяцев назад

The comments are definitely exhausting

@wduprevil 4 месяца назад

My seed is too precious for this world. I came alone and i'll leave alone.

@LearnAsYouGo. 6 месяцев назад

Women can decide to be childfree for any reason, even anything as “shallow” as “wanting to live a life of freedom from responsibility”. One of my top reasons for wanting to be childfree is that I do not want to have to deal with the responsibility of motherhood & that is a “real” reason. I do love that we as childfree women are having these candid conversations.

@FlowerlyF. 7 месяцев назад

That’s exactly why I don’t want children 👏🏾👏🏾Bravo!

@bruhmoment2578 7 месяцев назад

Excellent choice! Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Living according to someone else's standards instead of your own will only lead to life long misery...

@A_Muzik 8 месяцев назад

Don’t worry too much about having a shallow reason to not have children. Because there are men who sire children, knowing damn well they can barely keep up with their Hulu payments, because they want a mini-replica of themselves, or to see a piece of themselves.

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

🤣 you’re right!

@BlackChad_AO 8 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownrosesfunny how it goes back to colorist talking points in the end, just say you want to be a becky

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

@@BlackChad_AO I want to be who I am. I just don’t wanna reproduce. Not sure how you got confused about that. But thanks for listening!

@toricollins6516 7 месяцев назад

I find myself in a strange place, simply b/c I’m “CNBC”: childless not by choice. I have infertility, which was misdiagnosed & sadly incorrectly treated simultaneously. However, while I am grateful for the freedom for my time, freedom with my finances, & ability to work more hours, I also do see the downside to not having a family. It’s unfortunate that so many BW have experienced broken homes, violence/abuse/neglect/sexual violence & poverty, that IMO, being “Childfree” within the Black community is based in trauma. I’ve listened to other “Childfree” content & it isn’t as trauma-based. So many of us have been harmed with “Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome” & therapy is greatly needed. It’s a shame so many BW and BG are “undesirable” & only “sexual” & that societal negativity is palatable. I just wish more of us took the positive approach of a “Childfree” lifestyle, but it’s difficult. So much is rooted in the failures of BM as husbands & providers, and the fear of experiencing violence while pregnant or after birth. Only time will tell who made these decisions out of a trauma response & who did out of genuinely not wanting children biologically. I wanted a family, marriage, & the ability to experience and enjoy a loving family. However, I can admit being “Childfree” is rooted in the trauma of being African-American, particularly, born into a poor and dysfunctional family. I wish for more support for those who have children & encourage more BW to plan accordingly for retirement. Lack of a husband and a larger family places a larger burden for planning in elder age for any Childfree or childless person. I appreciate your thoughts. Violence is sadly part of the impoverished Black community & until we handle it, I completely agree that not having children (& not seeking romantic partnership exclusively with Black men) has made me look at the realities of being a BW much differently.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Such a thoughtful reflection! Thanks for sharing 💕

@lindaJaeNicole 5 месяцев назад

This was one of the most well put together, thought provoking videos on being child free that I’ve watched. You articulated it so well and I feel the same way, when it comes to this toxic culture we live in. Thank you for putting this together. 💫

@ibuymyownroses 5 месяцев назад

You’re welcome! Thanks for listening 💕

@monkpool 7 месяцев назад

8 billion humans. That is too many damn people

@Trysaratop 7 месяцев назад

As a parent of 2 small kids I love this video. I chose to have a child mid 20s then I realized I wasnt ready, but im not putting myself down for it I just learned the hard way. However, if I could give better advice for everyone even having a robin to your batman is what most men dont do, thats giving them too much credit to expect them to even be a supportive partner which most of us find out that we will being doing everything by ourselves plus being yelled at to do all the chores and help paying bills while expecting to look good which is why so many of us are chosing to be childfree or single parents. Focus on school, Career and finding a home while being self efficient and then if you chose to be a parent if so expect to do it alone but dont be like me who thought I could do this because I had a support system which I didnt in family or partnerships. I am starting to make videos for tips for solo/single parents on how to cope as a parent but let me tell you ladies it isnt an easy road and your happiness matters. It is fine to have kids or no kids as woman we need to raise each other up.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing your story 💕 I can’t wait to watch your videos on the topic! I know they will help other women 😊

@pastelmoon9118 6 месяцев назад

Getting IUD soon.. after incest dont want to have nothing to do with children or men in general

@ibuymyownroses 6 месяцев назад

Sending you well wishes for your childfree journey! 💗

@pastelmoon9118 6 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownroses thank you for your kindness I wish you peaceful and happy life as well!

@beautyforashes1948 6 месяцев назад

Praying for you I survived sex assault God's a healer I'm child-free

@jupiterscorner5423 3 дня назад

@@beautyforashes1948 hugs

@kimik01889 7 месяцев назад

NOBODY can poke holes in something you WANT for yourself. Being Child free is not up for debate. It is what it is. It's a choice that affects only the singular person (that's not already in a relationship).

@athenasol1723 7 месяцев назад

I'm a mom of one child , which is a boy. One and done for me. I totally agree with everything you stated in this video. The people still try to shame me for having just one. My reply is "black women chances are way higher to die during childbirth, which is true. That's comment shut them up.😂😂. During my pregnancy my son's father did have symptoms of lower back cramping and nausea. I never understood the phrase "We are pregnant "!! Until he told me he did not feel good one day while at work. I was surprised shocked and satisfied. The story of you stepping up and being a second parent that resonates me so much. I experienced a similar situation myself. Society does not benefit woman and children. You see the world differently when you have to raise your siblings.

@oORegularKevOo 7 месяцев назад

You sound just like the female version of me. Your feelings behind having a kid to stem from the fact that your childhood was robbed from you and you were forced to be an adult when you were only a child. You don't see having a family as a support system but only a group of people who are going to continue to just take and take and take from you. I don't think your opinion is wrong. It takes a whole community to raise kids properly. I have friends with big loving families that tell me I'm crazy for not wanting kids but they have each other it's not the same when you're going alone. Even if your in a good relationship with someone without the sense of community its hard to give a child all they will need and deserve.

@ibuymyownroses 7 месяцев назад

Exactly this!

@ThatChickKim 7 месяцев назад

When you said you keep your distance from your family, I felt that because I do the same. My mom was never close to her side, so I don't know them, and my dad is a deadbeat plus some people on his side are funny acting. I literally would have no village to help me raise a child.

@SweetUareDesi 7 месяцев назад

Same ❤

@CelesteJem 7 месяцев назад

I agree completely with needing a village of women, from the mother’s side of the family specifically! No healthy village, no children, period. I have a brother who says the same thing about me needing to pass on my lineage lol. He wants 9 kids. I jokingly tell him he can give me one of his.

@binedstudiostotalgame787 7 месяцев назад

you know what you have a good point not everyone has to have children that’s why I personally think that your experience your choices are valid for every person who doesn’t want to have a kid there are 10 more people who do so this video is very interesting and a different prospective that is not brought up that much

@NJ-hx2w 2 месяца назад

Wow! I have these thoughts daily! Thank you for making this video.❤ I'm child free and part of my reason to make this selfless decision is that I don't want grandkids either. I know that If I don't have kids I will be saving generations from pain and suffering. Especially with the direction that the black community is going. The culture is in the toilet. I've never had the "urge" to be a mother and I thought it's just something that we are supposed to do but then I really thought about and said you know what, this is not a baby! This is an entire human that I would have to bring into the world. I have commitment issues and this is a life long commitment. The only person I want to commitment to is my husband. He is a good man but when I think about how much I LOVE him I don't think... (babies and diapers) My love for him does not make me want to procreate. It makes me want to spend more time with him and have fun etc. He would rather have a happy wife who is thriving then a miserable wife who didn't really want kids and had them anyway so he's good either way. Social media is pushing pregnancy and gender reveals like crazy and it's giving RED flag. There's an agenda we don't know about. Why are they trying so hard to force motherhood down our throats? I will not drink the Kool-aid.

@ibuymyownroses Месяц назад

Aw! That’s really sweet what you said about your husband! 💗 & you’re right about social media! My friend and I are both Childfree and we were chatting about how our explore pages on IG are full of babies and pregnant women! It’s weird because I don’t engage with that content, hardly ever.

@ScreamTatumRiley 7 месяцев назад

I did my time I was 16 when my brothers girlfriend got pregnant and basically I had that child since since birth my niece who is now 15 has been attached to my hip and I love her I also take care of her needs not only emotionally but financially as well my brother needs help which I happily provide because his baby mama ain’t shit she has 6 kids and only 30 and yea it’s by different baby daddies I don’t want to do that all over again with my own child because it’s much more permanent

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Your brother baby mama is following the degenerate programming to the T... female offspring are programmed to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers via doll babies, strollers and easy bake ovens aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses.

@shakararolle836 8 месяцев назад

WELL said.

@joejackson7601 6 месяцев назад

Excellent, presentation... you are very wise... especially, your analysis of the black community programming... which is all by design... it's beautiful that some are acknowledging the harsh realities of this world.

@hadijakalyegira4107 7 месяцев назад

In admiration for all that take time to think for themselves.

@leratokgaphola 6 месяцев назад

I have one child and Im happy and I don't want another one because Im not financial alright and I don't have a good support system. I love everything that you said...you speak sense and the absolute truth.❤

@ibuymyownroses 6 месяцев назад

Thanks 😊

@Venusbeauty1111 Месяц назад

Every reason or no reason at all are all REAL reasons to remain childfree period.

@maribelle7673 6 месяцев назад

I don’t agree that not wanting the responsibility of raising children is a “shallow” reason for not wanting children. If it’s how a person feels then it’s valid. It’s better to be honest about why you do/don’t want to have kids than to do it just because of societal pressure. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting kids because you just don’t want to raise any. I don’t want that responsibility and I’m not afraid to say it. People like you who try to shame us for feeling that way is wrong. Your reasons for not wanting kids could also be considered “shallow” too because you’re more concerned about things having to do with other people despite your wanting kids.

@ibuymyownroses 6 месяцев назад

You feeling shame around what I said doesn’t reflect my intention. Your reasons are valid whatever they are. It doesn’t matter what I say or think. Thanks for listening.

@maribelle7673 6 месяцев назад

@@ibuymyownroses I appreciate your response and clarification. What you think does matter because you have a public platform and others are influenced by it. Even though our perspectives may be different in some aspects, I appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts on being childfree😊

@JezebelleAzul 7 месяцев назад

Not shaming sexually active people cuz I don't care about body count bullshit, but if we started thinking of children as gifts bestowed upon a deserving, loving partner rather than a possible outcome of sex, those who want children would hopefully put more thought into who they partnered with or be more vigilant about birth control cuz too many low quality people out there just spreading their seed and too many women not being discerning and ending up single moms. I get having a rich baby daddy like Elon or Nick Canon, but not having one of Pookie's 10 kids.

@cctv318 2 месяца назад

simply not wanting to because all the extra work is a valid reason imo 🤷🏾‍♀️

@一点一滴学英文 6 месяцев назад

Thank you for your subtitles

@ibuymyownroses 6 месяцев назад

You’re welcome! ☺️

@AlmeshiaSmith Месяц назад

Are you in my head? You preached everything that I've been thinking. Heavy on the man is not a womans village, we need a village of women to raise our babies.

@beaulieuc8910 8 месяцев назад

My realative was killed in childbirth

@ibuymyownroses 8 месяцев назад

Oh wow. So sorry to hear that 😔

@barbararichardson2747 7 месяцев назад

Killed or died?