Chimpanzees: Dumber Than All Humans - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 2 

All primates have brilliant minds, they know that the moment they start to talk they will have to pay taxes.

I drive for a living and the best thing I make is pancakes what are you trying to say 🤨

the "indeed, not only are humans capable of wiping out chimps ... they have even developed a system of ethics that justifies it" got me

1 ounce of sarcasm and 1 ounce of reality and you end up with this

"Not only are humans capable of wiping out chimps with inventions like bulldozers and dynamite. *They have even developed a system of ethics that justifies it*." - fucking brilliant. xD

"Even the most intelligent chimpanzee is far less intelligent than the dumbest human" Interestingly, that's not even true.

1:07 seems like an inside joke on some Onion employee but i lol'd so hard

I am a chimpanzee who drives taxis for a living, and I find this video offensive

"Further evidence that no sane god would have created this....Horrifying Planet." I can't stop laughing!

Oh I don't know, I watched a documentary many years ago that proved that apes once ruled the earth. The apes could speak and ride horses and they captured and kept humans in cages! There was this astronaut guy, I forget what his name was, but he was captured by them and documented their existence while being held prisoner. While in captivity he met this rather dumb, mute blonde lady who was really quite sexy. Anyway, they escaped and rode off together on a horse. I read he eventually published his findings in the scientific journal: Nature. I think there's been other documentaries since showing the same thing. So that would mean apes are actually pretty smart so I wouldn't take this video too seriously.

>making pancakes and driving taxes, tasks left to the stupidest humans heeeyyy

"This Hammer is an infinitely better tool than a stick, and it is not even that good relative to other tools" lolol

The most accurate documentary I have ever seen. We need to get these kind of videos in the classroom at high school and university level.

"... they have even developed a system of ethics that justify it..." wait, what? xD

"swinging from tree to tree and picking mites off itself instead of teaching itself how to read" hahahaha

Onion really knows how to take the wonder out of nature documentaries.

"...instead of finding shelter, and learning to read." There goes my sides

"Further proof that no sane God designed this Horrifying Planet" God damn, I love The Onion 😂😂😂

Its amazing just how dissimilar to us they are.

Humanity First

"Indeed, not only are humans capable of wiping out chimps with inventions like bulldozers and dynamite, they have even developed developed a system of ethics that justifies it." well said. well said indeed

This is such a relief from constantly reading the opposite in every single animal video comment section! Makes me roll my eyes. Thank you for this!

Thanks for this, Onion. This made me feel much better about myself.

1:40 taxi drivers and chefs would be happy to hear that.

Reject modernity, embrace monke.

1:30 lol, that hammer is being very poorly wielded.

I don't own a driving license and every pancake I made turned into hockey pucks. I must be one of the few most intelligent beings in the universe.

Post this on Facebook please, I want to watch people go ape.

The voice is absolutely perfect. It sounds just like the one you'd hear on a natural world documentary!

I dunno, Onion. Clearly you haven't done your research-- I mean, have you met me?

Yet which species is driving itself to extinction for pieces of paper? Now that is a concept that is horrifying.

I love this channel

I didn’t notice this was from The Onion and almost had my feelings hurt from that driving joke

Yet we keep electing them to political office.

The thing is if you left the average human alone in the wild, naked and without tools, he would probably die.

Onion roasting chimps, gorillas and zebras since 2007

I know it's a parody, but this is one of the most well written onion videos I've seen.

The pancake part had me laughing haha.

Someone once said it's like judging a fish on its ability to walk on dry land.

I love the Onion videos, and newspaper : ) I hope you are having an excellent weekend

These videos have me crying with laughter

I was actually getting frustrated by this until I realized it was put out by the onion 😆😆😆😆😆😆

I reckon a chimp could use a chainsaw if someone made an effort to teach them.

Ha this is one of my favorites; brilliantly done XDXDXD

That pancake sure looked good though...

Our intelligence is now becoming a liability, not only to ourselves but to all life on earth.

More like this please, thanks Onion.

These horrifying planet videos are awesome

I'm pleased to witness the onion's continued dedication to mean-spiritedness.

Horrifying planet is now my favorite series. Love it :D

When you hear of this, it’s amazing that they taught a chimp that it was mortal.

Mannn The Onion got a RU-vid channel I cant even deal 🤣🤣🤣

It just proves how awesome we are for being able to do that.

Lol gonna show this to my lyft driver

Now I really want to watch a video of a chimp driving in traffic.

I really am enjoying these.

This report is so accurate ! Factually perfect

All the people taking this seriously makes it that much funnier.

I wouldn't say dumber than all humans, more like dumber than 30% of humans

This is sadly FACTUALLY how a large percent of certain kind of people think.

I really wish they’d not discontinued this show.

Lmao! Now this is how you narrate with clarity, and with truth.

I love it when the Onion gets all 'Chris Morris'.

Some taxi driver out there is watching this video and chimping out, furiously.

I saw a chimp at the zoo once, they bragged that he could tie a knot. but I can do that. I do it all the time.

This has some serious "would you like to know more?" vibes

When’s the chimpanzee roast rebuttal droppin?

Horrifying planet is one of the Onion's greatest!

This horrifying planet series makes me legitimately sad for the planet.

Why is this channel suddenly hitting us with so much truth and honesty lmao.

I say that we put this to the test and pit one chimpanzee and one randomly selected Los Angeles citizen in a series of tests.

I tried making pancakes for the first time five years ago. They turned out thin and black. I gave up and now buy premade pancakes. 😑

Joe Rogan need to see this

Humans rule!

If you isolated a group of human children away from technology and an educational system...i think they would end up living like chimps.

The most educational video on youtube.

I'm not sure the researchers compared the chimps to some of the people who comment on this series.. I think the chimps would have then received more credit.

LOOOOOOL I thought I was watching real documentary until Sex House clip at the end

Still not seeing how my brother could outsmart a chimp.

I love how people watch the Onion, and don't realize it's a parody...

2:15 Thumbs up if you notice dat...

Comment 1,000

This guy just roasted monkeys for almost 3 minutes lol.

No chimpanzee has ever gotten drunk and shit his pants...so...take that humans

Chimpanzees: "We never elected Trump for President. We rest our case."

Right wingers: Hold my MAGA hat.

I got really confused and then I saw that it was The Onion

That was hillarious thanks for the laugh. I wonder how long it takes him to google "satire" and delete his wall post.

“Soft bigotry of low expectations” My Capricorn Gemini ass *ascends*

Have I made it in before or after the first wave of racist comments?

Aliens talking about us be like:

You can feel it throughout the video, but somewhere along the way it became real.

Joe biden: hold my beer.

I don't see what the big deal is if they become extinct. How will that affect us. It wont

how do i buy a chimp and how do i sell it to someone who would teach it how to make cars?

LMAO this should be on animal planet for comic relief, best one so far for me.

0:51 michelle obama

It has a photographic memory that hasn't been pollutied with the internet and internet facts.

He didn’t have to do our evolutionary relatives so harshly😳

“This hammer is infinitely better than a stick” and “ we can wipe out Chimpanzees with Bulldozers and Dynamite” had me laughing so hard I could barely see to type this.