Choose The Nice Guys 

Was rejected by every woman for being the nice guy. Finally found a sweet woman and was married for 18 years. Now I am a widower and all the women just seem so wrong now.

“…a lot of the women who get online and complain about the men that that they’ve dated…you picked them”. Boom! Truth bombs just dropped!

Just be a nice guy...who's 6ft tall with a high paying job, a six pack and a full head of hair, and you're golden.

getting online and complaining about a dude THEY chose will always throw me for a loop.

With all due respect, you can't change what women are attracted to. They're not attracted to us. They don't want us. Frankly, we don't want to feel like we're just being picked out of charity. We deserve to be wanted naturally. We deserve to be appreciated, and telling women to choose us will just make it charity. Now, this woman who likes nice guys or rather good men is unique. But she'll never get other women to modify their tastes. And convincing women to choose nice men will just make them feel like they're settling, and they're still not going to appreciate us. So I appreciate the sentiment, but maybe women should just stay the course and date whatever they are attracted to and just leave good nice men to their own devices and continue to leave them alone. So, just let these women who have been dating bad boys and jerks continue their practices. Because let's face it, those women don't measure up and don't deserve a good man at this point. Now, there's a pragmatic element to this. A woman who has been dating bad boys and jerks has been damaged too much to be with a good man. I don't say this out of nowhere. I married a woman who had been with bad guys and so on, and she simply couldn't appreciate me and ultimately cheated with a guy who hit her. They go back to what they're comfortable with, so she'll only hurt the good man. What we need to do is facilitate good women and good men finding each other. They're the only ones who deserve each other, and they are the only ones who deserve to be happy. The women who choose bad men are exactly where they should be and get exactly what they deserve.

It is not true that a gentleman does not expect anything in return. They expect a lady in return .

They actually WANT to be treated poorly. If they’re treated well, there’s no excitement or drama

I had a conversation with a girl I was working with and asked her about it out of curiosity. She said basically that girls like the idea of a nice guy, but it's not the same as wanting it. She also told me that bad boy types get attraction from girls wanting to "fix" em and "take care" of em, I thought it was really interesting what she'd said.

It kind of blows my mind that women have all these requirements but fail to have a requirement that he isn't the type of guy that will break your fucking arm or knock you out when he's in a bad mood. Seems important to me but what do i know!

I love how we assume these women don’t deserve their choices. Like I’m sure all these poor women don’t also cheat, or emotionally abuse or manipulate anyone. They definitely never make short term decisions either. Leave the nice guys alone.

women perceive nice guys as weak, needy, and don't excite them, many great women CHOOSE abusive, violent, and dangerous men over nice guys --seen this so many times in criminal court cases

"Kind" is the word you are looking for.

I'm a nice guy, but I don't allow myself to be disrespected, pushed around or ill-used. When I was in my 20s, I got tired of watching the @$$holes "get the girls". I started treating women poorly, played mind games, etc. I was surprised to find that I, too, started "getting the girls". 'Not going to lie. I had lots of fun. But I disliked who I became, so I went back to being me, a nice guy. I also realized I needed to find a higher quality of woman. After a few more years, I met the woman I would marry. Next year we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. Being a nice guy is a good thing. Being a push-over, not standing for something, and allowing yourself to be disrespected are not attractive qualities to any woman. Being the kind of person others look up to AND nice are things good women respond to (aka a good man). The hardest part is finding someone you click with in this day of swiping and HR rules about workplace interaction

"Nice guys" = Tall, muscular, blonde white guys who's in white collar jobs making at least $300k/year who's into 10 different hobbies.

Being a nice guy is a curse and a disease. They say that after all the destruction is done. At the end of the day, the nice guys don't get anything! By the time women finally come around, it's way too late!!! Just like women, we lose interest too and if its not that moment, you can forget about the whole thing. I will be nice to a point where you will not bother me and i will not bother you. Most importantly, 99.99% i dont meet your requirements.

Telling women to choose the nice guy is pointless after they have been ran through by Chad and Tyrone .....

Reciprocity is the only thing that matters. Anything else fizzles out

The yellow shirt girl looks like she is in the epiphany stage, wherein after years of being with players and attractive men who wouldn't take her seriously, she's now interested in nice guys because at her age of 25+ nice guy = secure guy. Don't fall for it, women say one thing but do another.

Guys just stay away from women who dont like a guy to be nice. They are exposing their toxic hearts. Find someone who likes you as you are.

Two things I'll add : 1) Feminism pushes "strong" and "independent" with women saying they don't need men. But they also want and expect men to still have traditional traits like chivalry and planning/paying. So men aren't getting traditional benefits from women that made gender roles an equal trade-off in the past. 2) Once dating became online based with various apps and IG, it conditioned women to be visually selective because it was all based on pics only. Combine that with a sex driven society, their main focus upfront is who they want to sleep with the most.

“Date a woman who is a reflection of you”

One girl I took out on a first date said something along the lines of "nice guys get upset too easily, can be easily controlled and manipulated, and that truly isn't attractive to women that's why I will never date one". I was kinda put off dating after that experience.

I was always the nice guy. I experienced plenty of rejection and was ghosted so many times. I eventually married someone I knew growing up that I reconnected with at our 20 year high school reunion. It was her 2nd marriage and my first. She had a 9 year old. Being a stepdad was a challenge, but as he grew up, we became the best of friends until he killed himself in a motorcycle accident at age 21. I still grieve that loss more than 20 years later. Weʻve been married 33 years now and still keep asking ourselves how we got so lucky. The key to life-long joy is gratitude.

Lots of women are single because of this (not giving nice guys a chance). And they have only themselves to blame. She is absolutely right. I think the women she's describing (women who won't date nice guys) equate nice to boring, weak, and not adventurous.

This just seems like a more digestible alternative to what “nice guy’s” have known for years now; they finish last, and it’s their turn now. The conversation has changed… The question isn’t whether women should or shouldn’t date a nice guy; the question is whether these good men should or shouldn’t entertain these women as legitimate partners in a relationship…..

Problem is most don't come to this realization until later twenties early thirties and maybe after a child or two and then expect the nice guy / good man to be there for them (might want to rethink that)

Don't be a nice guy, be a good guy. A guy who's good to others, but equally to himself. Don't put anyone on a pedestal. They are your equals, no matter how hot you perceive them to be.

Yes, girls, go after the 'Nice Guy' - but before you're used up, run through by half the city and looking for someone to fund your retirement and blame for your past sh*tty choices!!

There is a difference between a good man and a "nice" man. Most women cant seem to tell the difference between a bad boy and a confident man based on 20 years of observing them.

I know a man who makes $70K a year in construction and can't get a date. I legit cannot figure it out. He is sweet, fit, loyal and kind. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and is an overall great fella. Oh but he is 5'8" and not rich. Sad state of affairs in the west. I think a man like him would have no issues in another country.

I'm a kind man and a gentleman. That's how my mother raised me. It would be nice to find the right one. But I'm starting to give up

never met a girl who wants a nice guy, it's a put down phrase, now 68 -- learned this the hard way. yrs. ago a female caller to Tom Leykis said "we don't sleep with the nice guys, they don't excite us" women once they meet you put you in the lover box or friend box, nice guys go to the friend box

Hey Courtney, just wanted to say that your videos were really helpful when I was dating. I would not be married to my wife without your amazing advice. Thank you!!

I don't try to be nice guy. I strive to be a good (gentle) man. Being nice is an act in the moment. Being is good "person" is what you are. PS: Love the content Courtney. Keep up the positivity

Woa, never thought of it that way, who you choose to be with is a reflection of you. Everything makes sense now. This alone is gold.

Take it from a former “nice guy”…NEVER be the nice guy. You can be a good man but never be a nice guy. Women aren’t attracted to that. When they say they are, it’s because they either need a break from the toxicity and drama of the guys they are actually attracted to and will eventually go back to when she gets bored with you. Or she’s almost at that the wall and none of guys she’s gotten ran through by so far have committed. So she settles.

We’re still at peak narcissism, materialism and hedonism. The veneer is starting to peel off, but it’s still the norm. As a behavior therapist (I work at kid’s hospital, mostly kids with mental health/behavioral concerns), before someone changes their behavior, you see an “extinction burst”. For instance, a dog used to getting a treat each time he shakes a paw. If you stop giving a treat, the dog will go fully extra in trying to shake a paw, over the top, before they accept the new reality. That’s the extinction burst. Why would women change their behavior now? We all see what’s on the horizon, more financial instability (likely a worse crash coming that anything since 1930s), more political instability, and our social institutions (families, marriages, relationships, communities, schools, churches) have never been in worse shape. The single women (and some of the “successful” dudes) will continue living their best life until things really get rough. And even then, some extinction bursts, women trying one last time to get that top dude. Then, after the new reality can’t be ignored, they will come to the nice guys. The big question is: which women will the nice guys accept? I think there will be be “much weeping and gnashing of teeth”. Certainly not easy to hold compassion for single women (who make up the majority of consumer debt) when we see how most of them are moving. Meanwhile, most single dudes are living simply, frugally. The times ahead will be rough. But if I had to bet on it, I think single men will be more prepared for it. I don’t wish suffering on anyone. But I also won’t waste my time trying to explain these simple logical deductions to people unwilling to see it.

They want hot nice guys

The girlfriend I have is actually my Wife... And my Wife is my Girlfriend. Same person. She tells me she loves me more deeply than she's ever loved before, and the genuine "realness" of the relationship we have causes her an immense contentment, serenity and satisfaction... I do feel that same way about Her. We've known each other for over 35 years, since childhood, and the relationship we have with each other is comparable to the finest of aged Wines... Fun, relaxing, edifying, light-hearted, mentally nourishing, somewhat whimsical, and more importantly REAL. I thank God every day for this.

The problem guys have with women saying they “want a nice guy” is what women say they want, but actually responds to never aligns. And that’s why guys now tend to pay attention to their actions rather than words.

“Who you choose to be around is a reflection of you”. Wonderful point, Courtney! I would like to modify it a bit and say that it’s a reflection of your relationship with yourself.

The majority of the good married women I have known are almost always with a good man.

I used to be the 'nice guy' and had my share of challenges because of it. However, being kind is an important part of who I am, and I've embraced it. Through my past experiences, I've learned and grown, and I've found someone who appreciates my kindness as much as I appreciate her. If being a nice guy is part of your nature, that's great, just remember to stay aware and not be taken advantage of. And always have faith that there are plenty of women out there who appreciate kindness in a person.

From my experience as a former couch potato that only played video games girls never gave me the time of day. All I had to do to fix that was start taking care of myself with diet and exercise, be nice with hobbies and interests outside of work, and got off dating apps. I made these small changes that took a bit of time, but it definitely helped my dating life. Not all girls want that 6 foot chad with millions on the bank. There are definitely women out there with reasonable expectations it just takes a little effort and patience, and I can definitely attest my patience and effort was definitely rewarded. Hopefully my testimony helps my struggling brothers out there.

Some women see a nice guy not being genuine, have a motive, and being deceitful. Where they see the bad boy is what you see is what you get.

It's both a pleasant surprise and relief to hear you use the same words I use in regards to "nice guy" versus "gentleman". The simplest way I would differentiate the two would be that the gentleman is emotionally self-reliant while the nice guy relies on others for feedback and support. One of the sad ironies is that a fair amount of nice guys became that way because they either grew up in toxic or non-nuturing environments. "Niceness" became a tool for them to curry favor with others so they could get the things they needed outside the home that weren't being provided inside the home. Not saying women should lower their standards for that, just saying that we as men need to realize that life sucks sometimes, but we have a duty to better ourselves FOR ourselves. That's how one can become a gentleman instead of an incel. A gentleman saw the unfairness in his life and chose to overcome it, conquer it, take control of their destiny without losing their inner brightness. An incel saw it and chose to embrace and submit to it. "Nothing can change and nothing ever will change. I am screwed. The world is a cruel place. Women are cruel." We can't control everything. But we should use what control we have to make ourselves better. That's how one evolves from a "nice guy" to a gentleman. A good sense of humor also helps. 😉

When she says nice guys, she means the genuine good guys. Not the ones pretending to be nice just for sex.

I'm 32 and never had a girlfriend before. Attractive, in shape, decent job, family oriented, outdoorsy etc and women dont give me the time of day. Probably because im 5'7 and black. I also get referred to as the nice guy a lot. Damn shame we live in a day and age where genuinely good men are passed on and being kind is turnoff lol. Not a pushover or people pleaser nice guy, but just not being a dickhead.

Please don’t “force yourself to choose a nice/good guy” as if you’re settling and doing them a favor. You will be doing the complete opposite and will likely make a good guy miserable thinking how he’s too predictable and you want drama/passion. Instead, heal yourself to the point where you have a complete mindset change and you are yearning for that type of man

The difference between a truly good man versus the internet "nice guy" is while both can be kind when things go their way, the "nice guy" drops the act when things don't go their way while a good man continues to treat others and themselves with kindness and respect.

My GF broke up with me last week. She said I was the best man she’d ever met; sweet, kind, and other things. She said she was confused why she stopped wanting even though everything was going so well. She said that her gut was telling her we wouldn’t last in the long term. I really liked her (we hadn’t made it to love yet). I put a lot of effort in to get her little gifts when she was down or over worked, show up even when she thought our schedules wouldn’t line up, and tuck her in and hold her until she fell asleep even if that meant I wouldn’t be back at my place until 1am. A long with everything else like good morning/night texts everyday. I’m not saying relationships and love should be transactional, just because I like and care for someone doesn’t mean they should stay with me forever. I’m just frustrated that her and a few other women I’ve dated gave 6+ years of their lives to other men who they stated were… ‘very loud’ and ‘mean’. Meanwhile I get 1.5years at most. Like a lot of guys, I want/need to feel useful. I like making her happy, and I work hard to be the reason she smiles.

Great video! Be good, not nice! Good people are inherently nice but nice people aren't always good. Being nice might seem like a good thing, but there are times when people use it as a mask, hiding their true selves. On the other hand, being a good person involves inner authenticity and a desire to do the right thing, even when it’s not easy.

Attraction is subjective so idk why so many are barking up that tree. Secondly, having good character makes all the difference, such as being a gentleman! We have got to stop conflating what's nice, kind, and gentleman like. Lastly, we all need to stop crying, pissin, and moaning online that the person we chose turned out to have sucked. Choose better for God sakes and social media is NOT YOUR DIARY!

The girl in the TikTok literally said it, if you’re a nice guy you have to be SUPER HOT or it doesn’t matter.

I have been rejected by women since some of them think I am "too nice." Wanted to add that the ones who said that to me have either been divorced or an engagement that ended bitterly. Fast forward, I am better off without them. Two of them are alcoholics, and one is a "tart." They are not pleasant to be around (due to anger issues). To top it off, they all ended up with me that fell short of their expectations, while I have done much traveling, enjoying life, and am financially stable. All I can say is that I have the last laugh and laughing all the way to the bank. In the meantime, Karma has come and affected them.

Women make decisions based on feelings and emotions. These things are moment in time based. This tiktoker is feeling this way at this moment in time. But the data shows that women get bored with the nice guys, aren't attracted to the nice guys, will mistreat them, etc. Generally, women are most consistently attracted to the dark triad types....

Good men > bad boys > nice guys Just like Victors > oppressors > victims

Preach. The dating landscape would be far less of an emotional minefield if this was how women actually behaved. It’s a pity that’s not the world we live in.

HUGE difference between nice vs kind. NEVER be the nice guy, they force themselves to be that way, they are women pleasers, they are hopeless. A man who is kind is so because he was raised right, he respects but doesnt let people walk over him, he knows his limits and boundaries. A nice guy can be a snake, but a kind man is honest. Simps try to be nice guys and fail

Finally a smart girl that knows the drill. If only all women had this girl's mentality.

“She talks even faster than I do, which is a skill”😂

Women want a nice guy who has money, good looks, etc.

Thats not a nice guy , that is a man of value. Be a man of VALUE

Good men and gentlemen. Exactly. Both are still "nice" but describes these men much better. They are a dying breed. But, so are true "Ladies".

Choose a nice guy in the end but she will always be thinking about Chad.

As a man, it’s tough to say what women should or should not do because I am not one myself. That being said, it’s undoubtedly discouraging to hear women respond to guys that, we as guys, know right away are toxic and opportunistic. It encourages is guys to be a**holes even if we aren’t for the sake of getting attention from girls. Maturing is realizing women will never fill any hole we have on the inside. As men, we have to do that ourselves

One thing my dad told me was be good but not nice, your being nice to get along with everyone, be good but not a hole and don’t be afraid of confrontation when necessary, that doesn’t mean get into street fights and risk your life getting stabbed or shot.

After two years of running after her, she finally sees my "nice guy" side as a good and charming thing, and we want to get married. A lot of pain and heartbreak along the way, but I would recommend, don't stop going after who your heart desires.

I realize that in my own personal life that I chose poorly... I dated people who had weak moral, emotional, and intelectual strength. But as a Man, that was not entirely my fault. Every woman I ever persued a meaningfull relationship with (my history of poor choices) were NOT people I chose because I was shallow and only looking at the phisical; they were my ONLY option. The hurtfull of all my exes was a woman I broke up with four times... and if ANYONE else would have gone on a date with me so I could have moved on I wouldn't have taken her back. It's still my fault, but I see it in so many younger men that I work with. Men who "swipe right" on every single profile in a dating app, "likeing" hundreds of profiles a day, just to get less than ten matches a week of women to message. Nice Guy, Tall Guy, High Value Guy... Whatever, the dating system is strangling itself. Yes I picked my exes, yes I dated them, yes I broke up with them, and yes... I took them back. But I didn't have any options... and now I'm old.

My philosophy is don't be any nicer or more respectful to her than she is to you.

Every girl friend I ever had when they used the phrase “Youre such a nice guy”, I knew the relationship was over.

Hey Courtney . . . I’ve watched about a dozen of your videos and I have to say your advice to men,(and women) is exemplary! It’s extremely refreshing to hear your positive take on improving your relationships with others. And what matters most ie; your heart and your character. So many women I know have chosen men based on external factors rather than character quality and they ultimately end up disappointed and disheartened. Keep up the great job you are doing, Courtney. You are truly contributing to helping people improve their relationships as well as their external and internal qualities. The world is a better place because of your efforts! . . . Paul

Marry a nice person if you are a nice person, but marry another mean person if you are a mean person.

Been saying this for years now!! Plenty of good guys out here that would love you and take care and not cheat but they're belittled every day by modern women and looked at as weak.

Here's the thing too, guys adjust to what works. We're problem solvers. If being an jerk works, that's what most of us will adapt to. If being a gentleman works then most of us will do that.

One of the most common traits in successive relationships is kindness and receptiveness. There's been various studies on this and it's summarized down to those two traits.

Forget the mean people, and say goodbye to the nice people. Be reasonable, and chase the people which share your beliefs and goals.

Relationships that last the longest are when Men and women are both Clingy.

Having money does in fact not predict how someone will treat you, but having your finance in order is a predictor how a relationship will turn out. But people need to get their facts straight. You don't need to have a fortune for that, just have a stable income. That doesn't mean it needs to be 6 figures.

I'm a great catch. Nice guy. Respectful. I'm not changing who I am. Staying single. These women are fkkkkggg nuts

I once took pride in being a nice person until it became stigmatized for men. I then feared being too nice to women, worried they'd reject or belittle me. Now, I'm unsure how to act. Hearing this perspective is somewhat refreshing.

And Courtney has surpassed the funny face counter from the last video with 16 funny faces. We really need that funny face counter in the corner

Women always appreciated my niceness, but never respected me. I used to blame myself but now I know what I’m missing and have been happily single for almost ten years.

Interesting and enlightening. It is always wise to look at the 'heart' of a person, common beliefs, values, goals and interests, temperament, which is reflected in how the person speaks, and treats others, how they treat animals, their sensitivity, consistency of behaviour, who they associate with. Keep up the great work, Courtney. I appreciate your analytical skills.

The one thing that always bothered me when people describe “nice guys” is that “they expect something in return”. And honestly I don’t get why this seemingly normal part of human behaviour is portrayed as something negative. We have dopamine systems in our brain that reward expecting something nice to happen and motivate us to make it real. We had rules of etiquette that nicely codified certain interactions, where politeness could be met with indifference, but it still was a polite one. I would 100% agree if the accent was put on how “nice guys” handle interactions that went wrong, but come on - expecting outcomes is a part of human brain and psyche, as well as hoping for the good outcome.

On dating apps. I look for the important stats first. Do you want kids? Do you smoke? Drink? Religious? Too many people chase looks first. Fitness seems to be everything today.

Bad boys in the bedroom, good guy simps in relationships. It's that easy to understand. Ladies, that dynamic is so rare in one man, you are unlikely to meet one in a lifetime

I appreciate you adding the perspective at the end that women often choose the wrong men because they have issues that need to be addressed. It takes maturity and self awareness to fully accept someone treating you well. This goes for men too... if you go into a relationship only thinking about what the other person can do for you rather than how you can enhance each others lives, you're going to have issues. I'm 43 and newly divorced and I can say now that that when I was younger I simply lacked the confidence, maturity, and self awareness to make good dating decisions. I felt equally as uncomfortable with abuse as I did with being treated well. With that said, the one thing I would add to this video for perspective is that the "nice guy" or the "gentleman" is sometimes a facade. People are simply not always what they portray themselves to be, and often we don't find this out until it's too late or we are so invested/committed that it's difficult to make a decision to exit the relationship. The man I married by all appearances seems to be a very nice guy and total gentleman to most people. But behind closed doors he was a nightmare to live with. The verbal and emotional abuse slowly escalated over time but because the outside world didn't see this side of him I felt trapped and as though no one would believe me. I appealed to him in countless ways to get him to treat me better and to grow as a person because I believed he was capable. I even owned up to my own insecurities and sensitivities because I recognized that I was not perfect and had room to grow as well. But the situation became so unbearbale. My fears were founded though...most people continue to believe he is a great guy and I have been painted as the villain for leaving him. So anyway, it's not always about picking the "bad boy", loving the drama, etc... sometimes people just simply are not what they portray themselves to be. Even the language of some men in these comments proclaiming to be "the good guy" is quite shocking because just reading what they write tells a very different story. Men are just as guilty of choosing women for the wrong reasons and then acting shocked when it doesn't turn out so well. I'm no expert but I'd tell both men AND women that the first thing you have to do to be ready for a relationship is to stop generalizing men/women based on your own bad experience. Own up to your choices and how YOU could have done better and simply have confidence in what you have to offer. The right person will see that and appreciate the emotional work you put into being a better partner and human being.

Just remember that there is a difference between nice guys and SELF PROCLAIMED nice guys.

95% of women don't want a good nice guy man. Look at what happened to Kaka's relationship. And if women want a nice guy, they want him to at least be over 6 ft still.

People need to go out into the world. Having seen the worst, l’m convinced that kindness is all that matters.

People use to select mates for their suitability to build a life and raise a family. We've lost an entire generation. This girl is a 10 on the outside and a 10 on the inside, too. Help me find a girl like this.

I would only clarify one point: The Internet did not create the concept of a nice guy that no woman wants, nor did the saying "Nice guys finish last" originate online. What the Internet did was create a forum in which women learned to articulate, to each other and to men, what they had actually meant for all those years when they spoke of not wanting to be with "nice guys". I think half of the problem is with the word "nice", which is such an imprecise word that it's meaningless, and the other half is that a lot of what makes a man the sort of "nice guy" that women don't want are impressions and clues that most women didn't consciously recognize, much less know how to explain. Thanks to the plethora of online information on this topic, anyone can now quickly find out that emotionally healthy women don't want men who *seem* nice, but are actually clingy to the point of being creepy, appear to lack self-respect and boundaries, and get upset when their every gesture isn't reciprocated, all of which makes their niceness look like it's just an act. That's quite a lot to say, so it's understandable that it needs a shorthand, but maybe the fix for the confusion is to call it something other than "nice guy". Maybe call them "velcro guys" because they're hard to pry off, or "smother brothers" because they make you feel smothered?

The saying goes: Nice guy's finish last. As a nice (older)guy i can confirm this and changing my ways accordingly. They say they like a nice guy, if he meets the height, looks, money! They always leave that part out. But those guys have all the option and don't have to commit to get the box. So they don't. As 5,6" male its rough out here.(EU) If they want a traditional guy? But are they traditional in return? No, high body count, not following a man's lead. When we set boundaries, we are called insecure. They want their cake and eat it too. Sexy picture on IG, have a backup plan, always looking to upgrade, girls night out etc. I do like you trying to bring positive, but what they say vs what they do are 2 different things.

Easier just not to bother. No drama, no giving up half your money, no dealing with false accusations. Just peace.

Thank you, ma'am. I really needed to hear those kind words.

Short + gentleman = sweet I find it odd how relationships have nothing to do with feelings or love anymore, if a girl is serious about a relationship it’s all about the highest stats you can get, not about how or who the guy actually is

Rule one is to never take advice from women on how to get one. They want the total opposite of what they say 💯

You are not your car, you are not your job, your house, not even your body. You are your experiences, values, desires, personality, and consciousness. Everyone is looking at the wrong places.

The way to win is refused to play the game. I wouldn’t wish a relationship on my worst enemy because no one deserves that level of cruelty.