Nothing fills it. Nothing removes it. Maybe nothingness is where everything came from and will return to. The emptiness is just a reminder. Thank you Dr. Grande.
Wow. Amazing but sad statement. My son, who we adopted at age 10, came from an extremely volatile situation. He was diagnosed with BPD and my husband and I did everything we could to help him. To this day he is still bitter, angry, despises my husband and I and does everything he can to destroy my reputation. Lots of misplaced anger towards the wrong people.
It’s the feeling of a void that nothing can fill as well as never knowing your purpose in life. Emptiness is the only way I can describe it. Wanting to feel something there but no matter what you do, you never do.
either that or you fall into a well of emotion... and there only is emotion, love, hate, anger, others i feel but cant put into words.. well or void, which will it be. Russian roulette but all chambers are filled or none are filled.
It’s like being on autopilot. I’m high functioning bpd, so nobody would know when I have these days. It’s like I wake up apathetic and have no idea why I bother doing anything, but I do it anyway because I need to survive. Binge drinking is a risk for me but I’m pretty good about passing it up. Lifting weights has always helped me regulate all factors. It’s not like I can tell I’m releasing anything, but I never regret going to the gym, and most times I do feel accomplished and endorphins provide some happy feelings.
jeez we have alot in common. Im nocturnal too everyone hates me for it i cant help it. im also Atheist ⚛️. im a nerd and loved star trek and liked star wars too. and i think i must have BPD to a point but i think i know who i am cuz i read BPD they dont know their own ideals. idk
Wow. I feel the same and actually have said the same thing about the gym. I have regretted nights out drinking but never regretted a day training in the gym.
@@Italian69Boi get diagnosed. This self- diagnosis has got to stop. Go see someone. I'm sure dr grande would agree. If you google enough symptoms of anything you'll have it. If these people hate you for staying up, firstly I'd run. Who gets that angry over sleep? Be who you are, own it. Nothing wrong with what you like. You need to be ok with it too. ✌️ Please seek help
As someone with BPD it's odd for my to think of the fact that there are people who have no idea what that emptiness feels like and will never experience it in their lives. It's so much part of my life that I often forget it's "not normal".
Yeah I was creeped out by that experience, I was playing games laughing yet I felt bored playing it, that was the time when my grandmother died and my grandfather and I definitely felt that experience firsthand and was also the first time my family called me cold for not crying during her funeral, strangest things of all was that I knew that she died while I was sleeping, like a rope that snapped told me she died and I confirmed it the moment I woke up and saw my siblings crying in my room. P.S : This happened during the pandemic
Feelings of emptiness sounds excruciating, and that is only one of the symptoms of BPD. That’s why is so important to be kind to everyone, we never know what people are going through. This was quite enlightening. Much appreciated, Dr. Grande.❤
I’m not great at expressing and explaining what I’m feeling and hearing you describe the chronic feelings of emptiness as a disconnection and numbness somehow helped me today. Your videos validate and reminded me that what I’m feeling is real, I’m not “crazy” 🙈
I love when you talk about BPD, Dr Grande. I'm totally embracing the void lately, it's a comfortable place to be. I enjoy it so much that paradoxically, it makes me happy to settle into autopilot. So in a way, hiding from my emotions lets some inner contentment shine through. And I'm fine with that. 🙃
Embracing the void is actually a type of acceptance so it’s not ignoring your emotions - it’s accepting them whether they “abscent” (apathy) or in your face. Very powerful :) I’m not bpd but I also feel contentment can be there when I accept whatever I feel emotionally - good, bad or in between!
It seems that children who were neglected would developed this. Possibly the emptiness came from lack of interaction so they developed into a sense of nothingness. I'll have to learn more about it and other conditions.
I don't have BPD but I often feel empty, emotionless, and without drive, pychedelics have helped greatly, I hope they put more into researching them one day soon.
@@wile.ecoyote4541 Of course, BPD is Borderline and BP1 is Bipolar type 1. Borderline is a personality disorder (same category as narcissism), Bipolar is a mood disorder (same category as depression).
thank you for explaining this. I am diagnosed with BPD and for a lot of people this is hard to understand. When I say I feel completely void of emotions they think I mean positive emotions when actually these phases are much easier to handle than when my emotions change rapidly and even the tiniest things can trigger a change (if there’s a trigger at all) But Im also am diagnosed with depression and on some days it’s really hard to differentiate because depression can also feel empty, but in a negative way. Also a loft of people have problems with the fact that my emotions are not constant and I don’t always react the same way to similar situations depending on the day…
Yes! Try to find a Community Mental health program. They will have free or reduced price services like counseling, medications, transportation services, pharmacy refills. They deliver my meds to my house. If my worker doesn't hear from me he calls to check in. He knows the struggle is real at any second of any day! I'm a diagnosed Borderline, PTSD, Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety, Major Depressive. In treatment since 16, almost 40 now. Looks for something called DBT therapy.
Your mind is trying to mold you into the video, losing its logic for a small moment or a short period that you felt this way. “Hey human. This must be you! Go to a doctor now!!!” On the side note, you might be dealing with depression.
This was very interesting and enlightening Dr Grande. I feel like I understand the symptom better because you put it in terms of a lack of something-that explanation clicked for me. Thank you for doing these. They’re little information gems.
First hand, it's terrible. I love the way Dr Grande talks about. It's more gentle and understanding than most who think we're Glenn close. Cheers ✌️♥️🇨🇦
I felt so empty when my sisters where killed in a accident as a kid. Then hollow when my parents sadly died as a young adult. So many things where wrong in my life then. It took a couple years to come fully back to myself. I'd absent minded try to call n talk to them. It'd be like for a moment I'd forget they're gone. I'd call n another person would answer their phone number. What a kind person they ended up being. They'd ask me what goofy joke or news did u want to share? I believe that was very kind. Loosing those closet to you hurts so much. I'm 60 now and even though I've faith, sometimes I feel like a orphan. I've good friends. A great spouse. Adult kids who love me. Life is just different now. I've taken on extra volunteer work it help a tiny bit. It gives me a extra dose of fulfillment.
i have mdd and sometimes i have days where i go numb with no emotion at all, and they are like this, i also derealize and depersonalize often in these days
I had BPD, my was to get away from the intense feelings. It was caused by an abusive relationship for 5 years (couldn't get out). So I basically went numb.
I think Personality Disorders are a LOT more common than we think. I recently heard that 1 in 100 people have the symptom of psychopathy F1 or 2. That says to me 1 in 100 people probably have a Personality Disorder. That's a lot of people you could interact with daily, and have no clue. The problem is not the disorders, it's how the patient reacts to the symptoms of the disorder. Can we normalize teaching DBT in USA schools as part of Phys Ed?
This is me. Weird thing is now that I'm older, I'm envious of people who get genuinely excited or very happy about events.. when younger I thought it was amazing how people acted so excited about surprises or birthdays, etc. But I genuinely believed that they were acting that way to make others feel better about whatever the event was. I don't know what the trigger was , but one day I woke up realizing that they weren't acting but that I lack an ability to be excited about things. Now that I've learned that about myself, it has helped me understand others highs and lows a bit better. My sister has the same issue. We are 47 and 50. We both came to the realization, independently of each other, sometime in our mid thirties. She has kids, so she knows she has a need to fulfill duties as a parent. I don't have kids, so I pretty much just try to not be a drain on those around me.
Thank you so much for this one, Dr Grande! I was finally diagnosed BPD when I was 31, and I turned 53 years old two days ago. My birthday was kinda boring, mundane, and even a little sad, but when I saw this video it felt like a wonderful, and validating birthday present for someone who has felt like she didn't fit in for a lifetime!
I love his understanding of BDP. It is totally validating to hear someone explain something that made me feel so totally alone... I mean I'm still alone but it's nice to feel SOMEONE understands! 🤗
I think this is what life has done to me. I didn't used to be this way but in my 40s I experience this heavily. Sometimes I notice that I no longer feel but I want to. Other times I am glad that I can't feel pain in a given situation. I didn't even know what bpd was until I just watched this but this is me.
I fall in love with anyone. It helps get my work done, i am able to take care of my self. I just feel so good . When I see they don't like me. I experience intense negative thoughts and emotions
I have Bpd I get this bad if I don't take enough of my antidepressant but most of the time I will focus on obsessions or shopping to distract me from it.
I suppose an addiction or dependency can offer a *degree of control* over an intense feeling, which is preferable to the lack of control over other intense emotions or emptiness.
I don't know if this describes me or not, but there have been times that I sought out the feeling of nothingness in order to deal with my strong emotions.
Yea same, but today practicing singing I felt like a robot so I just stopped bcs I don't want this to be fake, it sucks but I don't want to cry or act stupid lol
Whoa, ive never thought of it that way, i do sometimes embrace the emptiness. Especially to fall asleep, if i sleep i cant feel and if dont care i cant be hurt.
This is helpful to me. Sorry this is long. I was previously diagnosed with PTSD. This month, I had a bizarre, disturbing “therapy” intake experience. The “woman” doing the intake gave me forms with horrid things on them, asking how many times I hurt and conned people. She blocked the door and spread her legs wide (in a dress, no less). She would cut me off if I said anything positive and only wanted to talk about negative things. She typed loudly and would get excited at certain points saying “Ah ha!,” “Yes!,” and “Gotcha!” She said she had changed my diagnosis to a “bad” one, but it meant I was “getting better.” Then she began a long spiel about how she was worried and afraid because “they always get hung up on the diagnosis.” I placated her so I’d be allowed to leave. She walked me up to the desk and refused to leave. When I tried to make the appointment, as she wanted, she yelled to the girl, “MYRA FARROW! It HAS to be Myra Farrow!” The girl said, “Are you serious?” She said yes she was. Then they both laughed. Myra Farrow is a radical far left transgender kink social worker. I have cancelled the apt., and am filing a complaint. I *think* I was just diagnosed with BPD. It was either that or ASPD, which would just be a wild accusation to make against a law-abiding citizen with no addiction or violence issues. There was no real intake or anything, just these weird question forms asking about how I hurt people. I wasn’t asked the typical screening questions. The “therapist” (who only has a BA if I have the right person) seemed maniac to me. She said I didn’t have enough nightmares and that she knew I made up the PTSD diagnosis. I have never met this woman before. When I told her multiple people confirmed this, along with depression, she said, “So you’re one of the ones who’s good!” This condition means nothing to me. I can’t relate at all. Your description makes sense, and I feel bad for people who feel this way. I would never treat a BPD sufferer like this lady treated me. It was just so baffling to me how a person can feel “empty.” I tend to isolate myself because I’m afraid of people, not because I don’t want to be rejected. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed someone would “reject” me so they’d go away. I’m so depressed right now and can’t shut it off. Now that I’ve seen this person, the shaking fits are back and the nightmares are back. I’m really angry, but thanks for posting this. I see my GP on Monday to try to get this removed.
I went through that after a break up. I snuck a dose of Zoloft from my ex which just made me feel like a zombie. During that dose, I thought, “I’ve felt like this before. I should be able to do it without drugs.” So I spent the next decade pruning my emotions with self-applied CBT. I did this before studying any relevant psychology or neuroscience. After awhile, I realized that “no emotions” wasn’t the answer either because it killed my motivation. This was about the time I started generating many innovative ideas and found a purpose in life. I just didn’t have the motivation I once did. One psychiatrist recommended NFT. Being curious and pragmatic, I started doing research into NFT before giving it a try. The first book I listened to was “Brian’s Legacy” by Siegfried and Brian Othmer. That’s when I fell in love with neuroscience.
I think the people who always do things to get into into trouble, like picking bar fights, doing dangerous stunts are trying to feel something, anything.
I get the impression that personality disorders are viewed differently in Britain and the USA. BPD is recognised here, although many of the other DSM-5 personality disorders are virtually unknown in Britain. Even for BPD, I've never heard anyone here talk about emptiness as a key criterion. The emphasis seems to be on self-harming and regularly presenting to services.
Life is empty and unfulfilling, I want to feel but I can’t. It’s terrible when you want to connect to your loved ones but feel nothing. The guilt I feel consumes me. The best part is it never goes away, it’s just life now. It’s my new normal if you could call it that.
I have this problem where i don't want to feel empty so i trigger negative emotions to feel because that's all i know. I feel bored when I'm happy or empty
I think ALOT of people who WERE involved with a narcissist who are highly codependent, can feel this when the Narcissist abandons them. Their sense of purpose went right out the door and now they're just stuck... literally stuck to the bed, chair, couch whatever. No point in anything. Why bother etc. Chronic feelings of aloneness and loneliness etc. I think that's like a "taste" of what a BPD person may feel on a daily basis with no cure. Not sure just a guess
You’ve described it to a T. I have BPD and this is exactly how it feels to experience chronic loneliness and mine has come right after leaving the narcissist. It’s unbearable most days. But I know the feeling is better than being made sicker in their proximity.
When you’ve seen it it’s actually scary . My ex BPD girlfriend one time broke up as we had many but this time I had to go back to her house and pick up my work gear I thought she wasn’t home so as I was walking up I saw her through the screen door as she didn’t see me prior to that we hadn’t talked for about a day but I would never forget the look on her face she was sitting in a daze like she was lost her eyes dark her body numb her face in anguish I was scared to open the door lol then I walked in she turned slowly and looked at me and didn’t say a word she got up and went in bed and just cover herself in the blanket not one word . It’s sucks because she was smart and beautiful but hard to have a reciprocal relationship with .
It`s like nothing you could do will change anything or amount to anything. You`re just on auto pilot, you do things just because you have to and because they are part of your obligations and daily routine and not because they give you joy or a feeling of accomplishment. And when actually something nice happens you`re just sitting there thinking to yourself "oh well, thats a thing that just happened - I wonder how long it takes before this goes to s**t like everything else in my life" without feeling anything. Sometimes it is better to feel nothing than feeling joy and knowing exactly that it will be taken from you eventually.
i mirror so i can fill up the void, even for a little while. i can fill it up with friends and boyfriends but once they're gone and i'm alone, everything just drains right back out.
Coming to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and reading how prophesies are being fulfilled, God’s grace brought me to repentance. He draws the broken hearted to Him. The love of Christ gives me life after all the suffering I have been through from divorce, and autoimmune issues. He is coming soon and eternal life comes from Him alone- hoping more people will find His love. God bless.
Having nothingness, with underlying depression, really sucks. I want to feel again and hope to one day cry after loss. I wish the numbness would balance my emotions, but it doesn't.
I need help for that rn. Going through therapy, but rn it’s bad and idek why. It’s like an addict needing or craving their drug of choice but can’t get it or dont even know how to get it. It’s also like feeling like no matter what you do, it won’t affect anything. I feel like shit rn.
So as of right now I'm using benzodiazepines to suppress the intense mood swings. But I've been tapering because I can feel that I'm already addicted and I want to get off before it's too late, and I didn't have a script anyway. But now all the feelings of emptiness, the hearing my name called, the seeing people out of the corner of my eyes, and raging out for no reason or bizarre reasons is all coming back I had a meltdown at my job the other day but my boss didn't really care because he kind of saw my side of what was going on. Once I chilled out I explained to him why I freaked out and he gave me some tips on how to get out faster and assert myself better .I still felt kind of bad for losing my cool I try to be the one that doesn't do that. I wish my doctor wouldn't have stopped practicing during covid, Vistiril, wellbutrin, and cannabis worked for years but all the new doctors I encounter all have their own ideas of how they want to treat me.
...put a 30lb weight in a backpack🎒 & wear it for a full day...now imagine that the weight is in your mind. Essentially,that is what is is like. After 35 years however, it strengthens your mind, like any other muscle.
Měl jsem pocit prázdnoty, než jsem potkal svoji poslední bejvalou. Teď už vím, že jakékoliv pocity jsou lepší než žít s loutkou. Proto budu radši sám a sám se vypořádám se vším, co mě v životě potká, než abych byl s někým jenom proto, abych nebyl sám. Byla to pro mě škola, která mě jasně poučila, že sám všechno zvládnu lepe. Nemám se čeho obávat. Hlavně nedopadnout jako loutka. To je to nejubožejší a nejsmutnější.
