Cinematic Excrement: Episode 79 - Jem and the Holograms 

+Andre "Black Nerd" Heh, you're quite welcome. Big fan of your work.

+Andre "Black Nerd" You're welcome, Andre!!! And we're happy to be there for you, man!

lol you have so many videos and you've reviewed so many other ones. I never would've thought you would comment on this one

also your review of Jem is so humorous!! I crap up every time I watch it

You're the man, by the way!!!

We all gotta expect something

E MB and that's why it's fitting to demand a remake-rematch to correct what went wrong.

Even a year later, I'm still pissed off. What were they thinking?!?

I’m really upset you made me think about that. Because that would’ve been the perfect fit. A lot from the original cartoon, from what I remember, was about the fight between genre music and pop music. Hence The Misfits. That would’ve been bad ass and now I’m sad I didn’t get that movie! Thanks a lot!

You’re right if they did it in that style it would have been AWESOME

@@MamaMOB Exactly, one of the main plot points of the cartoon, was The Holograms music was DIGITALLY ENHANCED by Synergy. The Misfits were the bad guys, but they played their own instruments. The cartoon always shows that the Misfits doing underhanded things, but technically Jem was dishonest, too. Especially on first episode, she enters a singing contest to stop The Misfits from cheating. A lot of this could have been included in the movie. They could've gone more into depth with style and public persona vs actual talent. As far as Kimber is concerned, she was overlooked in the cartoon, too. The father basically left everything to Jerrica. That could've been explored more, too.

Gator Shark08 I know, right? And to be fair, Aubrey Peeples had the potential to steer her career in the right direction if only she had that intention. Honestly, Aubrey would have made for a near perfect Batgirl.

Is she the daughter of Nia Peeples?

@@brettcooper3893 No.

I thought her role in “Nashville” was good… at least until the writers screwed the character up.

I'm not even a Jem fan (I wasn't born in the 80s) but I still feel insulted by this movie.

I didn't watch Jem either and I'm insulted too. We should be. It's offensively bad. I'm not exaggerating either. Putting out a movie this bad is disrespectful and legitimately offensive. After Transformers made so much money we may have deserved it in a way though.

Gregory House The world knew it! It was a trap all along!!

I wrote a review on that abominable act and I quote: "That’s not just a slap in the face to the fans while flipping them off. That’s a slap, spit, stomp, stab and crap in the face while flipping them off."

@@hezekiahramirez6965 the cartoon Jem defends this movie tooth and nail like a Hollywood doush bitch cuz she was paid a bucket losd of shut up and support our movie money

OMG they did! it wasn't even half as funny in JINO.

That's also the tag line of everyone's distant and barely invited relatives.

Well mostly Blumhouse. Hasbro don't give a fuck. Universal was just involved. But most of the blame was on Blumhouse

+29AndreG they didn't even bother to release dolls for the movie. Just a few pieces if makeup. They could had called it something else and made their money back. Most of the Fan made shut on YT is better

curly sue Yup. Blumhouse is that cheap.

That's a GOOD thing! There are dolls, based on the original cartoon/dolls, DONE WELL being released by Integrity Toys! The line is nearly 5 years old and still going strong!

Blumhouse, you mean the same studio behind Daphne and Velma?

+Aaneik Maiti And I think that Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks may be similar to Jem and the Holograms cartoon since it dealt with a girl band using music as power to rival another girls band

+Travis De La Fuente That's a better Jem movie that this one.

Yeah, and a fourth movie is going to be released later this year.

When will it be released?

Fall 2016.

Oh the irony!

+D Vass amazing... snyder manages to put music video into not music related movies... ;/ why this guy could not? it's not hard... maybe that lady gaga 2.0 thing count as a music video?

1r0zz I know right? Say what you will about Sucker Punch, but that opening scene was incredible. Maybe Snyder should have directed Jem and the Holograms. It still would've been better than this!

D Vass in the ending jem would snap the neck of the Misfits lead singer D: I know what you mean, and frankly you are right. what's the point of making a music-based video without emphasizing the musical side with music related "visual grammar"... hell, the "hologram" technology from the robot would make possible to have special effects like many modern music video even when they sing on street or for fun (and it would made sense that they became famous like this...)

1r0zz And maybe we could have a scene where Pizzazz asks Jem "Tell me - do you bleed? You will!" xD

Me too

riffgroove The hipster wear was the cherry on top for me!

All fun and games until you learn the first version of that sentence was missing the word cartoons...

I’m impressed by this little piece of history 🙂

It was worse than that from what I've heard. They asked them to send those clips about how much the cartoon Jem meant to them and they put them in, but rather than, say, put them at the end as a tribute to the show or something, they placed them in a way that made them look like they were talking about the Movie Jem.

And that's just sad. *sigh!* Well....here's to a possible movie reboot in the near-future.

Neo-Xgray87 I may not have watched the show myself but I understand what it’s fans must have thought. Especially with what the bag of dicks who made this did with those fan videos.

@Neo-Xgray87 I have NOT watched the movie... I found this out via Nostalgia Critic - The Contest was GENUINE and they DID Follow through - BUT NOT HOW FANS EXPECTED!!! Nostalgia Critic showed that everyone who sent clips in DID get a Cameo... Speaking about the Cartoon they loved but it was all plastered over the END CREDITS so they looked like HYPER FANS of the Fictional Movie Band!!! As pointed out by @Gideon An absolute Disgrace but I feel they knew this was going to BOMB! They knew they had fucked up!

I hope those contestants filed a class-action lawsuit.

Adding Baymax to the list of robots Synergy ripped off...

Its groovy that you got a Shoutout

+Gregory House So they couldn't even get The Rock to do them a 30 second favor? As if this movie couldn't get more depressing.

+Cinematic Excrement Even the guy who did Journey 2: The Mysterious Island was too good for this....Mr. Director....you done fucked up...

+Cinematic Excrement Sadly enough, Hannah Montana is a way better adaptation of Jem then this piece of shit.

+Cinematic Excrement Pretty much, yep.

+Cinematic Excrement That's pretty cheap and shameful even for filmmaking; Ova Boll would be so proud of the people who made this movie. At least it's not as lazy some other film that more lazy; one that has a lake swimming Megaladon. 10 bonus points if you know which film. PS Sean: May I recommend you reviewing Green Lantern before or after Suicide Squad is released? It is DC property and it was meant to start the DCEU. It'd be appropriate. Plus it might be something that's been on your hit list for a while. Wadaya say😀. Please😇. Cheers anyway.👍🏻

+areasevenpro I did the same thing with Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z.

1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest code Ive ever heard in my life! I mean you may as well make that the code of a planet's atmospheric dome or something!

Thanks! I am definitely gonna check out Tron Legacy just to apprecieate that movie a lot more than this piece of shit movie.

Hey same here

**ara ara intensifies**

She actually fits the role quite well. The only good decision in the entire movie.

If only 99% of this god-awful movie was as good as that one little "mid-credit" scene, we could've had something. Oh well, here's to the possible movie reboot in the near-future.

TheHeroOfTomorrow That is where nearly all the production budget of the movie went into. Get Kesha to make a brief cameo at the end of J.I.N.O.

Not even that. Ke$ha volunteered (because Jem was her favorite cartoon).

@@POLE7645 she must have been pissed, hopefully she's in the reboot.

Thank. You. That's a HUGE reason why I'll never be a fan of that stupid Josie and the Pussycats film.

Exactly. One reason why the show and the Dolls were so popular was because every girl had a character or a few that they could relate to. Also, what happened to Raya the drummer?

@@shantbe Raya was a later addition

Um top commentor, you know mixed people exist right? 😅

Also what do you mean by ‘ambiguous’?

I would say "Better late than ever", but its probably not worth it.

@@deanjustdean7818 Who is Glenn Danzing?

And she was the best part of the movie in FIVE SECONDS.

@@LaineMann I never heard of it

+LinkMarioSamus what about fant4stic

+Autobot Productions Fant4stic is getting enough drubbing nowadays.

LinkMarioSamus fair enough but it's still not undeserving of it.

Autobot Productions Of course it isn't! Not that I have seen it. Not that I want to. I'd just prefer to see him do the '05 one.

LinkMarioSamus fair enough

Me too. I’m glad it never aired on the UK😅

Jennea Coleman-Cubero bad version of universal died a long time ago. I knew it was going to be garbage when they release the 2017 version of the mummy

Good point.

Its common for most people to be named after Cartoon Characters.

Jem cartoon series is better i am glad i only saw the trailer for this awful remake 🎥

I watch Kim Possible as well as The Powerpuff Girls, Adventure Time, MLP FIM, and many other cartoons with cute yet tough Female characters.

I watched The Powerpuff Girls, Kim Possible, and My Life as a Teenage Robot as a kid, and am not ashamed to admit it.

Well, what did you expect from a company that specializes in found footage horror movies? That's probably why most of the footage looks like it was shot with an hand-held camera.

+171QA -- I read that to the tune of "because I got high."

I don't do drugs.

Or homework, it seems ;)

EmpressOfYouAllKneelBeforeMe lmao exactly. If it's a remake of a classic just went the classic

That's what I was thinking too. ;)

I don't know why the RoboCop reboot is getting a lot of hate from people. I actually thought it was better than the original in my opinion because it dove more into the psyche of what would probably happen if a regular cop was nearly killed and was made into a crime fighting robot. I'm not saying that it's perfect but I can take it a lot more seriously than the original.

TigerTrollUSA If it wanted to take itself seriously, why have Samuel L Jackson's character? I guess the producers wanted to tap into the nostalgic bone of fans who loved the original by having at least one goofy character to offset the "serious" tone. The real question is whether you like the goofy antics of the Paul Verrhoven Robocop or this...ecch! But what do I know, guess it's just a matter of personal taste.

The reboot could have been better than what it was but again, Sony had to meddle with Jose Padilha's vision. I didn't think it was that bad really...

I like Purge 2. The best things he's done are Whiplash, The Gift and Hush.

But you're right. Giving him Jem and The Holograms was a mistake. He's cheap.

29AndreG I liked Purge 2 as well. Not a great film but a really solid thriller. It definitely used it's premise to better effect then the first film that's for sure.

Am I the only one who really enjoyed The Visit?

+MrPenguinboy90 The first three Paranormal Activity movies were good too.

Well, she never did get the chance to tell him in the cartoons. But, in the IDW comic books, Jerrica actually did tell Rio the truth about her identity as Jem and he was surprised. But, he never went all "wife-beater" on her. In fact, Rio's reaction to Jem's secret was a bit tamer in the comics.

​@@xgray2012 So let me get this right, Jerrica never had a chance to tell Rio the Truth about her Identity in the Cartoon Show, but managed to spill the truth about it in the Comic Book? I can understand it.

Also it's under Blumhouse Production which is notorious for making shitty movies. They generally take existing properties, mostly horror films, and make remakes or live action adaptations film versions and most of them suck.

irwinisidro true, but Hasbro was trying to make a good jem film and universal was just publishing it.

DarkVoid If they're going to reboot this movie, then yes. They still have that chance.

But didn’t they have a live action version of Sailor Moon?

+Tim Tran what? where the heavy metal comes from? there is NO heavy metal into jem and the holograms, I believe (that said, I never really watched the cartoon...)... that said I would loved random Megadeth and Slayer appearing in the movie...

Yes the fact the play modern movies is the problem

+Tim Tran Erod is biased anyway.

That's sad, isn't it?!

Wow that just makes movie Synergy even more insulting

Tom Hur Yup. Among other things, it's the biggest 'missed the point' features of the movie. Synergy wasn't just 'the gadget'; she more or less functioned as a person because in spirit she IS a person; Jem and Kimber's mother.

+Super Cosmic Mutant Honey Candle Squid well she was based on their mother

***** Yup. It has always bothered me that people dismiss Jem's mother as another 'dead mother' and then they say they love Synergy. THEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER! The sad thing is that Christie Marx made a cameo in this movie so she could have been aware of what they were doing but I guess she had no hands in the story development. I'm sure if she had been she would have been able to handle a lot of the updates in a better way, including HOW to incorporate both of their parents into the movie but whatever. What is done is done and the movie just SUCKED.

***** Believe it or not....I talked to Sophie about the issue when the movie came out and asked her a few questions on the subject. The thing is, the script that was handed to IDW vs the one that was worked on for the movie are two completely different worlds lead by two completely different ideas though they were based on the same property. If I could put it in words well, Hasbro KNEW what they were doing with both but despite the money they threw at the movie it does feel like the comic was more favored due to it sticking to the source (while of course doing its own thing) while the movie was just....yeah. Think of it like this; the comic and the movie had their own directors and these directors had two different visions while Hasbro let them tweak whatever they wanted and do whatever they wanted. Sophie has ALWAYS been a fan of the series and has stated that many times which shows a lot in the comic. I....I really can't say WHAT the director of the movie was actually doing or if he was a fan of the show at all. I ENJOYED GI Joe, which he worked on, but Jem was a hot mess and I can only lend that two the fact that he was trying to make it like one of his concert movies and didn't think that girls would be interested in the other elements of the series, which explains why so many things were dropped completely including the sci-fi elements that actually set the series apart from your basic girly music pop show. Pan-Pizza summed it up pretty well when he said that Jimmy Neutron did the entire movie in 15 minuets as it's your basic singer needs money, singer gets famous, singer dumps friends, singer hits rock bottom and gets back with friends, things are solved in the end type of story. Jem may have had a lot of elements similar to that (How many times did Kimber say she wanted to quit the band due to her feeling over-shadowed?) but it wasn't done so straight forward and flatly. And about their ages; there is a thing going on that exects think that kids can't connect with a character unless it's another kid so an adult Jem would have been too old for them apparently. It's straight up BULLSHIT but that's how things are. Sometimes you just have to bang it through their heads that you want your character a certain age for a reason.

If there had been a budget bigger than $5 million, that might have happened.

JEM: THE MOVIE BY EPICWAFFLEZPRODUCTIONS PLZ LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE XD

SuperMarkerComicBro I choked @ that part!

2ToyBoys It's a shame that Hasbro let Jon Chu make and direct his vision for a Jem movie and co-produce it with Scooter Braun and Jason Blum with their production companies. Hasbro should have not ignored Christy Marx who co-wrote and co-created characters etc from the animated series, for so many years either. If they had let her make her own movie or even an updated animated series, Jon Chu's movie wouldn't have happened and then they wouldn't have wanted to scrap everything with any future Jem projects and products, so I partly blame Hasbro as well as Jon and the gang. I'm glad that Jason Blum apologised to us fans earlier this year, who didn't like the movie, or who didn't go to see it. It's a case of too little too late though, Jason. Christy Marx was happy that he understood now as she posted the article on her fan page on Facebook. She hoped that Jon Chu would have apologised and maybe would have understood by now too. I agree with her as did other people on her fan page.

And to be honest they didn't make too much of an effort the funniest movie it only cost 5 million dollars I'm glad it flopped.

Yep they actually stay true to its elements and even had a cameo character from another 80's iconic cartoon. man it just comes to show that a simple RU-vid video could do better with five million in Hollywood money couldn't do

Okay, I will check it out.

Your a dumbass

+GavinHohenheim That's not lazy. That's efficient.

+Cinematic Excrement I beg to differ - it's effective. The efficiency of throwing ones gray matter at a problem that is relevant for - let's say - twenty minutes twice a year is highly questionable. Especially when you have to revise it every two years because ops just love to try (and ultimately enforce) a new environment. Yes, I know, most jobs can be ported without a hitch. Most of them.

Never go into business

+KidSnivy69 go into the world of business and try and be a lazy guy instead of an efficient one, and you WILL get your ass handed to you by the market on a gold gilded platter.

And somehow their 5th Member (Raya) is NOWHERE in the film.

+DarthBobCat They did for "Sniper".