CinemaWins' Pathetic Defense of The Rise of Skywalker | EFAP Highlight 

All he had to do was crawl two rooms back because he left behind 2 instant use medpacks in the secret area.

The poor guy could've survived in Disney's canon. Space Jesus forgive us.

@@XenoSpyromy man knows about the Obi-wan game from back in the day!

Technically we saw a bacta tank in ESB.

very unfortunate, since we also know you normally dont die of stab-wounds too the stomach

It's like two toddlers fighting in the sandbox, costing millions of dollars. J.J saw a big, cool sandcastle made by George so he made a horrible copy, then Rian made poop inside this castle, then J.J tried to remove the poop but smeared all over the sandcastle turning everything into a stinky sand/poop mesh. Both toddlers have left, but the mess still stinks for everyone involved. Better yet, the owner of the sandbox tries to make new stuff while the sand is still infused with the texture and stink of the poo. It is quite a sight.

It's not just the sequels, it's all of Disney Star Wars. Including the movies, the TV shows, the comics, the novels, and even the video games.

@@TheOwneroftheIC Andor is a well made show and both of the Jedi games are also good.

@@Egurius3 I can only vouch for the first one (and the second one apparently should have had a bit more time based on what I heard about bug issues). Even those have some taint due to alluding to events in the sequel trilogy (Starkiller Base is apparently Illum).

I'd say the core issue all 3 films suffered from was that there wasn't really any kind of coherent and fixed plan for how they would play out, plus they were clearly going too much out of their way almost reset the universe to the underdog rebels fighting a galaxy spanning Empire that controlled everything.

That's a good one 😂

ChatGPT workarounds in a nutshell

Also, why don't they have D0 translated the dagger? He's literally a SITH droid. But no, JJ wanted to bait us with C3P0's "death." He invents some BS about why R2-D2 can't make a backup because his memory is "notoriously unreliable" even though he stored the entire technical plans of a Death Star in his memory. Also, the "droid smith" apparently has no way to make a backup copy of a droid. That's just really awful writing.

The Scottish take the term "side hustle" very seriously

You haven't experienced Scotland until you've been the victim of a drunken mugging

Least violent Scotsman.

Least violent Scotsman.

I'm on a train from Glasgow as I read this. Can confirm.

Futurama answered this very well. Leela: Depth at 45 hundred feet, 48 hundred, 50 hundred! 5000 feet! Farnsworth: Dear Lord, that's over 150 atmospheres of pressure. Fry: How many atmospheres can this ship withstand? Farnsworth: Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

And he's right.

​@@Zepher0987 Yep.

Go away now!

Watching Cinema Wins content is like watching someone hand out participation medals with an "Atta boy" and a pat on the head to someone who didnt even participate.

Anybody with taste: *agrees with Rags*

He is basically saying "gaslight yourself" to enjoy a movie.

I do think though that going into a movie with no expectations is better for a viewing experience. With music/movies i dont like looking at any of the leaks or trailers just cause i dont like theorizing what i think will happen i just wanna appreciate what is there. BUT in this case fuck allat cause this movie is a trainwreck, the minute i heard they brought palpatine back i never even wasted my time with this movie because it fundamentally undoes the point of the actual star wars saga which was anakins redemption.

I had a buddy who, no joke, had to excuse himself in the theater to go throw up in a trash can. Not for some soy fan boy reason. Rather, the ridiculous pace jumping from scene to scene literally made him nauseous to the point of vomiting.

I’m not even being dramatic when I say that the movie ruined my view of the world at the time. I was 16 when it came out and it was the first time I’ve ever looked around me and said, “Wow. There truly are evil people who ruin things people love. The world is unfair and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

​@@hpw101 glad to know i wasnt the only one who got motion sickness from it. All the wild movement of that movie gave me a headache and dizzy, but not quite to throw up levels thankfully.

@@hungtotheover3385 I'm very curious in your perspective, were you not already slightly numbed from The Last Jedi?

It doesn't even feel like a movie tbj, more like a compilation of things happening out of nowhere

I agree, but why were they in the KOTOR games? (Yes I know they are set 4000 years before, don't you think someone could have prolonged the knowledge of that power?)

Does it, though? Regardless of whether it existed or not as a power within the universe, Anakin's motivation doesn't change nor does the fact that his lack of access to it pushes him to do the things he does. It's literally a Mary Sue power Rey pulled out of her flowery perfect smelling ass. What DID ruin Anakin's motivations was the prequel's poor writing. You can't ruin something that wasn't good to begin with. lol

​@@MundaneThingsBackwards how is wanting to save the love of your life not a good motivation?

@@isiahalcindor6278 The execution.

@MundaneThingsBackwards oh ok that's definitely fair

Did he actually say that ? Could you link the place where he said that, because holy damn that’s an admission he wrote a Mary Sue if there ever was one.

Yup. When they show Scary Rey in the ROS trailer, I thought, "Nope. That's trailer bait. There is no way Rey will turn to the dark side. In the last two movies, she has never done anything that's even mildly unpleasant."

Wins is about as great at complimenting movies as Spongebob is at driving a boat.

its to be expected when you're a shadow of something. It's like the happy videogame nerd.

​@@swainblaine1609 didn't know that existed

exactly.@@denkerbosu3551

@@swainblaine1609 Nah. I think he could have done literally anything and suck balls at it. The idea of CinemaWins isn't bad, he just can't understand concepts necessary for critique.

that is legit the dumbest interpretation of that scene, like how in the fuck would he even know...?

@@sinoxilurk4126 Exactly. Just brainless over reaching to trying and convince himself the film is good

Why would you tell someone that they’re related to Hitler right before you’re both about to die 😂

Especially when he’s a joke of a stormtrooper who is…a janitor put on a hit squad….boy those movies were pathetic

Finn wanted to say “I knocked up Rose, can you use Force Abort on her?”

He rubs the genie lamp just to wish for that.

"I hope your dream comes true." "Thank you! I hope everyone recognizes how good The R-" "Your dreams stinks. I was talking to her."

Saying "My favorite meal is unprocessed human shit because I pretend it's Chicken Risotto," is not an argument that makes sense.

Or he is trying to find the good in something he may not like. Seriously, I didn't like Rise of Skywalker, but it doesn't mean everyone hates it.

@@ViperPilot16 There is a point where you just have to admit something sucks instead of trying to make up some excuses for it to soften the blow it gets.

The funny part to me is if I have to pretend it's what I wanted to enjoy it, that premise by necessity admits that none of the "wins" are things people would enjoy in good faith. At best it's basically an admission that the movie offers nothing to enjoy and this whole thing is a hypothetical for the channel to make content. More cynically it's toxic positivity of saying "don't acknowledge negative reception and just pretend we liked the bad movie" or trying to pull a gotcha of "see we named all this good stuff, it can't be all bad." Incidentally, does Wins ever "remove" wins for egregiously bad writing, the way Sins removes Sins for standout good/cool moments?

As Futurama put it: "How many atmospheres of pressure can the ship withstand Professor?" "Well it's a spaceship, so anywhere between zero and one."

@@GeordieSwordsman I love that scene. Was exactly what I was thinking of with my comment

Lol you don't even need to use a spaceship. Literally just put anything in the ocean for a long period of time without maintenance and it'll fall apart.

What's hilarious is in the Star Wars universe they use different vehicles or even tamed wildlife to move through the oceans of planets. They don't just pilot a Star Destroyer into a sea mission like a bunch of morons

If a moon sized object crashes into a moon, or earth sized body, the collision would raise the temperature into hundreds of degrees over boiling and sterilize ALL land-based life, and likely most, or all, sea based life. The "wreck" would have vaporized completely... even if it was made of unobtainium. Jar Jar never does ANY research into his ridiculous story beats and this idea is amongst the MOST stupid in all of film.

Doesn’t help that you can hear Hamill stifling a laugh as he says it.

Didn't he literally say, "I was wrong" after Rey asks him about his change of outlook? I could be misremembering it.

I think JJ had MUCH different plans for Luke in "The Force Awakens." The first move literally ends on Rey, handing Luke his lightsaber. Notice how Luke Skywalker is wearing white Jedi Robes in that scene. At this point, we know nothing about Luke, so Rian Johnson could have taken Luke's character anywhere he wanted to. Instead, Rian has Luke do a pointless costume change out of his white outfit into his brown Hobo robes, which he wears for the rest of the movie. Rian's got plans for Luke and we are NOT going to like them. I think Rian Johnson is just a nihilist, who likes to destroy what other people have made. Think about the way he ended "The Last Jedi." At the end of the movie, the Rebels have been reduced to a few dozen people and the Millennium Falcon. Rian even goes out of his way to point out that the Rebels contacted the Republic for help and NO ONE was coming. He also kills off the trilogy's main hero and villain. In the second movie. Where can another writer possible take things from here? If I were deliberately trying to destroy the franchise, "The Last Jedi" is exactly the kind of movie I would write.

@@KneelB4Bacon That is true but JJ had to write the Star Wars movie after episode 8 and had to take the Luke from Last Jedi as the bases

True. TLJ is at least a massive swing and a miss from a deluded director. ROS is just corporate trash. Awful.

@@johnneil14 "watching money burn" has never been more applicable.

On eof my friends told me, if I don't like the sequels, why don't I make my own...

Just tell your critics to pretend Catholicism and conservative politics are what they wanted and... see how they feel?

How the hell are you a Repub *and* Catholic?

That's the thing with being Republican or Democrat. You can sometimes disagree with whatever side you're on just like disagreeing with the opposing side.

Well I for one am glad you are in support of the Republic, Palpatine really dragged them down and I wish you good luck with your addiction. What? What do you mean republican and catholic mean different things?

Sounds like the best way to go. Idk what's the problem. ​@@David_the_Psalmist

I'm sure Stuckman will regress into this way of thinking soon enough, he's on the slippery slope towards this type of thinking already

Stuckmann wants to enter the Hollyweird club, so any criticism towards their circus means burning bridges.

Scorcese was in my cinema, and he stood and clapped at that moment

YMS had to do it, The Emperor was uploading his speech in 1040p without subtitles.

I still cannot help but cackle at the stupidity of that decision.

@gs4011 I even play the game and I was like....WHAT ARE WE DOING?!

@@thatcannonguy we truly do live in an amazing time.

Pity the dead who can no longer know such joys.

Well, that game is filled with children and manchildren, seems like the target demographic of these movies.

Hot take, but I think Godfather II wasn't ecen good. Most people just pretended to like it because they didn't want to be "the one guy" who didn't.

The first stage of grief is Denial. When you really looked forward to something, there's a kneejerk resistance that you could have been that wrong. I remember hearing a sh*tload of people who saw the midnight 1st showing of The Dark Knight Rises saw it the next day _because they couldn't believe it was so dumb._ They had to have missed something... but most people/most films get over it in 10 minutes, half an hour tops. These bozos cling to it like a religion.

Hot take: People can like things you don't like.

The movie isn't insulting your intelligence, the makers of the movie are.

Pretend it doesn't insult your intelligence, and see how you feel.

Not to mention that both the death stars were incinerated into atoms anyway, so how is there like a quarter of it just chilling on a planet? And how does the dagger line up with the jagged pieces? It is truly unbelievable.

What about scavengers? The Death Star was sitting there for 30+ years and no one thought about taking all the stuff that could be there? In the same continuity that shows Rey scavenging dead Star Destroyers? What a joke.

@@SammEater That too!

Why have it be the death star in the first place? None of the characters could even recognise it as the entire thing was built and destroyed before they were even born so it has no real connection to them, making it pointless to be the death star as you already had the star destroyer ruin in TFA, the mini drath star laser in TLJ and the death star destroyers in this movie. They've already extracted what you can do with the death star before this so having it has no appeal. They easily could have changed it to just one of the emperor's palaces/imperial fortresses that's been abandoned as it's so hard to get to and the intial new republic sweep of the place turned nothing special or of real value apart from nothing apeared to be sabotaged or scuttled, just empty as if it was never used. You could even have a tidbit that it was constructed somehere else and then was moved to its current position. Nothing in the plot changes and you dont have all the problems that come making it the death star. Heck the knife makes more sense as it could have been made alongside the place and when sheev was alive. It would then allows you to have it make more sense by having a spot you use the knife on marked with some sort of symbol as it was planned out for this and you could also make it also function as a key to the room that the knife points to. In the current narrative the person/people who made the knife went and scoped out and found out where the maguffin is and didn't go "hey this is a really bad place to keep something like this if we actually need it for some reason and there's only 2 of these, why don't we instead take it with us so we can put it somewhere safer and more accessible like a sith temple? We made the effort to get here to confirm the maguffin is here and not in some Flooded or collapsed section of wreck and we're not going to take it? Just saying, a sith temple that we know the jedi have entere would mean that they think thermy already know whats in it that they wouldn't explore and then discover it and all the darkside presence would mean they dont want to go back to it or keep a guard there, it would be hidden under their noses" The door may have been an issue but they would of had salvaging equipment to cut into it that would be needed to travel the wreck as you dont know if the doors would still be functioning or Hallways be accessible due to them either being collapsed on impact or flooded with the water. You'd then need to cut into the walls and make your own way to the place.

@@mikzpwnz_3199 Because JJ Abrams is a fraud and his Mystery Box was always empty, so the only way to make an ending to that mess of a trilogy was to pander to nostalgia.

Ironically defending bad movie is okay. Unironically showcasing the very best elements of bad movies is okay. Unironically defending bad movies by pretending they’re good ? … Yeah how about you piss off -_-

He doesn't love terrible movies, he loves seeing himself as superior to those who don't like things. People like him confuse "positivity" with covering your gas gauge so you won't be reminded you're almost out of gas.

Damn, the US never gets any of the good stuff.

​@@Clownacy We did get it. EU=Expanded Universe for Star Wars.

A vessel built for space travel has to compensate for a positive pressure differential. The space inside the vessel is pressurized, while the surrounding environment is not. A vessel designed for underwater travel needs to deal with the exact opposite.

Literally not what he does at all lol😅

IT'S GOOD!!!!! 😭😭😭

⁠@@cliffrobinson5943the dude said to pretend it’s what you wanted to like, you’re a clown.

This perfectly sums up this situation. I've heard the phrase "they don't like X, they like the IDEA of liking X" before. Specifically with Kramer from Living Anachronism criticised the Rings Of Power. The people who blindly enjoy things and say things as basic as "oh yeah it was good", don't actually enjoy media, for the reasons fans do. And it's arguably worse than the people who just genuinely don't like something. Because at least the people who genuinely dislike a movie or another piece of media know where they stand. There's also a difference between enjoying something, despite its flaws and refusing to acknowledge any of the issues in a piece of media, particularly if said media has had a lot of both concise and clear criticism and issues

“Pretend for a watch through that it’s what you wanted and see how you feel”. I have never felt such a sense of defeat from a statement. The perfect encapsulation of toxic positivity. You can justify anything with that, and I’m not even just talking about bad writing. It gives me goosebumps, imagining a person that would live with this as their guiding light.

Sounds like Suckman...

@@nhagan001 That thought experiment isn't dictating to you how you should feel-- it's proposing a mindset from which negative thoughts can still arise.

@@seg162 would it though? Negative thoughts could arise, but when you’re outright overriding them into positive thoughts, what would that look like? If I went to translate to movies, it would be a person that “likes everything”, questions nothing, and moves onto to the next thing to watch. It would be paradoxical to me: if “pretend it’s what you wanted and see how you feel” was put into practice, where would you put the thoughts that you had to alter? Would they be a landfill of all your doubts, negative thoughts, and disagreements with the media you consumed?

I can look at Palpatine just fine in better films!

It’s more so how he returns As it stands now what is to stop him from returning again?

Hello

Why are you still talking about palpatine, Dune is out !

The Lore is deep with this one

How dare you, Missus Webb is the greatest film of the century

Indeed. Not to mention there is no way there is any wreckage left when both death stars were completely atomized.

​@@devinschexnayder7440 Yeah, they both turned to dust on-screen. I didn't see any "chunks" that could have made it relatively intact.

​@@Eye_Of_Odin978 Oh f*ck me, that will be the next thing they change when they release another special edition.

So open minded their brain falls out

Yup. Clear rules, limitations and some of those powers belong to the dark side, so they come with a terrible price to pay. Additionally, most of the talented Jedi healers had to focus nearly all their time and dedication to that craft and little else.

@@RenegadeVile Yeah, it's like how the only healers in Atla were a subset of Waterbenders who normally focus all their talents into the craft. Katara is an anomaly, but it's fine because she's the only one in the world with that feature.

I think it's because these IPs used to be good, it used to be cool to like them. So some people will do anything they can to be a part of the "cool guys" even though it's been years since it's lost all it's original magic. Like, it used to be cool to like Star Wars, so all the normies showed up wanting to be a part of the community and didn't realize that all the "cool kids" have already left.

They made the brand a part of their personality, meaning any flaws of those projects are a flaw in them as a person. So they must defend it with tooths and nails.

godlessness and brainwashing now the highest authority is the government they were molded to obey willingly and unequivocally taught to hold multiple contradicting beliefs at once and repeat them to erode any sense of objectivity the perfect slave, the ideal citizen

I like Adam sandler movies, I’m not going to pretend they’re good but I like them

CinemaWins apparently unironically loves The Room

he should have been hinted since ep7 but wasnt because of the war between producers . Give all the ideas of the sequels to someone competent annd the story would be great

This Dark Empire, as cheesy at it was, was merely a comic line that just showed us the end of Luke's journey to become the new Grandmaster of the Jedi. TROS is actual, calculated franchise destruction.

Which is why Jahns should stick to just reviewing movies, that would also be extremely lame.

Good ol Whiplash! Gotta find time to see it again.

good job

He's probably the most comfortable behind the scenes, but I would lie if I said that I wouldn't love to have him back once every maybe every 10 episodes or so, to talk about something he has a passion for.

I have no intention of making further appearances. I don't think I mesh with the format of the show very well, and think it best to just keep to the sidelines.

@@EFAPHighlightsRegardless, thank you for the quality work you’ve already done and continue to create!

I like the idea now that he's still part of EFAP in spirit by handling the clips channel.

​@@EFAPHighlightsNever say never, Wolf. But know we love and appreciate your work on these highlights.