Col. Jack O'Neill's: 7 Rules of Gate Travel 

Edit: Thank you to everyone who has left such wonderful comments :) I really appreciate it!
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Okay, so here's my entry for the first challenge of FTtL. Yay!
I have no idea if anyone, aside from me, will find this funny, but I laughed while making it *shrugs*. Jack O'Neill is for sure one of my favorite Stargate characters. I mean, the man can say and do anything and get away with it! Richard Dean Anderson's genius acting has succeeded in making me fall for him once again (my first crush was MacGyver).
Any-hoo... I tried to be clever with this, and since I've always wanted to do a video with Jack's best lines, I tried to wiggle some of my favorites in (the conversation with Daniel concerning the name Yu is one of them).
Thanks for Watching!
-Rinette:D
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Honors [2/19/10]
#89 - Top Favorited (Today)) - Film & Animation
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Audio
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Jack: "Colonel Jack O'Neill."
Rule #1: Expect the Un-Expected
Teal'c: "This door should not be closed."
Jack: "Dang."
Young Jack: "You know I'm really much taller than I think"
Carter: "Colonel O'Neill meet...Colonel O'Neill."
Jack: "What's going on?"
" I am a man of very few words."
"I thought we fixed this thing so that wouldn't happen anymore."
"Daniel?"
Rule #2: Watch your langauge
Jack: "I am absolutely fine. There is nothing cruvus with me!"
"What?"
Daniel: "You just said: 'There's nothing cruvus with me'."
Jack: "I did not."
Daniel. "Yes you did."
Jack: "No I didn't."
Daniel: "Yes you did."
Jack. "Didn't."
Daniel: "Did."
Jack: "Didn't."
Daniel: "Did."
Jack: "Cruvus. What is that?!"
"Oh, for crying out loud! That's derentis!"
"What?"
Daniel: "You just said: derentis."
Jack. "Did not."
Daniel: "Did too."
Jack: "Derentis. What is that?"
Rule #3: Try to sound Smart
Teal'c: "Appearances may be deceiving."
Jack: "One man's floor is another man's ceiling."
Daniel: "A fool's paradise is a Wiseman's hell."
Jack: "Don't run with scissors?"
"I wouldnt mind one last jaunt through the old orifice."
"What?"
"Actually, its called the accretion disk."
Daniel: "What did you just say?"
Jack: "It's an astronomical term."
Carter: "You didn't think the Colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbors did you?"
Jack: "Not initially."
Carter: "The ship should be just a few hundred kilometers dead ahead."
"There."
Jack: "Ship ahoy-hoy."
Rule #4: Piss off the Bad Guys
Ba'al: "I am Ba'al."
Jack: "As in Bocce?"
Ba'al: "Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence?"
Jack: "I don't know the meaning of the word. Seriously...impudence...what does it mean?"
"I am so sorry! I was just finishing up a lovely brunch."
Ba'al: "Impudence."
Jack: "No. Tuna."
"I have a better idea. Why don't we sit back and watch you get your ass kicked. That way, you'll be dead and we'll be glad!"
Ba'al: "You cannot be serious!"
Jack: "Yes I can. I just choose not to...some of the time."
Rule #5: Don't get Confused
Carter: "The warping of our space-time seems to be an advance of the gravitational pull rather than as a result of it. It's probably a lensing effect generated by the Stargate itself but I cant be sure."
Cromwell: "Dont even pretend you understood that."
Carter: "But on closer inspection I discovered that both the absorption port and its redundancy had been tampered with."
Jack: "Carter! I haven't had coffee."
"I have great confidence in you Carter. Go on back to the SGC and confuse Hammond."
Rule #6: Try to be polite
Jack: "Hey! You, in the skirt!"
"Come to retrieve your vastly superior stuff? You know, it would be alot more superior if it wasnt so easy to steal!"
Hammond: "Colonel Chekov feels that a Russian Officer should be assigned to join SG-1."
Jack: "Over my rotting corpse...sir."
Hammond: "Colonel?"
Jack: "I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud?"
"But, we also saved your little grey butts from the Replicators!"
Daniel: "Little grey butts."
Carter: "Yea."
Daniel: "Yu."
Jack: "Me?"
Daniel: "Yu is the name of the Goa'uld."
"Yu did account for a number of notable positive influences..."
Jack: "Thank you."
"Sorry."
Rule #7: Expect to be Ignored
Jack: "I want you to take Connor back through the Stargate."
Carter. "No sir."
Jack: "No sir?"
"I need someone to report back to the general and that is you."
Connor: "No sir."
Jack: "No sir?! Does it say Colonel anywhere on my uniform?"
Edit:
Interrogator: "And you are?"
Jack: "Captian James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise."

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