Comedians Tell You Not To Have Kids | Netflix Is A Joke 

I've been called selfish for not having kids. I'm like "explain that sh*t".

Lol Gervais roasted the hell out of his unborn son.

Kids learn from their parents the most. And what I learned from my parents growing up is that they really shouldn't have had me and my two sisters.

“Pay for my chemotherapy” that always cracks me up

One of the reasons I don't want kids is because I know for a fact that I'll be a fucking toxic parent and end up ruining my child mentally one way or another intentionally or unintentionally. And people still say "Oh but you'll change your mind. You'd make a great mom!" And you know me better than I know myself, how?

I'm with hannibal on this one. Being an uncle is awesome. You are like a parent with all the perks and none of the cons. And better yet, I'm a Guncle. We are the best kind of uncles.

As a woman who just turned 40, I have had 22 years of family, friends, and strangers alike consistently try to make me feel guilt about not wanting kids, like I’m incomplete as a woman.🖕🏼🖕🏼

As the father of triplets.. I agree with everything said here

I was always the one who didn't want kids. Kind of tired of everyone making it seem like it's only men who don't want them.

What really hit home is when Ricky said you may never get your money back but they will put you in a home.

"I refuse to keep 3 of the same baby" 🤣

I don't want kids. The women in my family say childbirth is beautiful. I saw my sister go into labor and that shit wasn't beautiful. I have my nieces and nephews. I'm good.

"Never picking the 1st newspaper at the stand guy" is me😂

"It's worse than a disease because they want you to have it too" 😁 Not only funny but very true! 👏👍

I'm 45, child-free, and I have never regretted the freedom that choice brings me.

I love my non-existent kids so much that I won't be bringing them into existence into this awful world.

As a teen who's terrified and disgusted by any potential parenthood, I agree with everything in this clip.

"what do I want three of a kind for, this ain't texas hold em" I died xD

Chrissakes Gervais absolutely ripped his own kid that hasn't been born yet lol

How am I being childless make me selfish? Try asking people why they wanna have kids and I guarantee none of those reasons have the child's wellbeing in mind. Most of the reasons are for the parent's own fulfillment.

I love my kids, but there are zero other kids I like. Sorry to my nieces and nephews, but I like exactly two kids.

Finally a compilation about not having kids. I'm telling you, kids are overrated man.

Saving this for people who cry to others for not having children.

Life is too short to spend my time taking care of children. I am contented with a partner who wants to explore the world with me.

As my Dad always tells me “if I would’ve met you kids before I met your Mother, you wouldn’t be here.” As a 34 year old woman who does not have kids I now understand and am beginning to believe that “joke”. 🤣 *I made sure to send him this compilation so he knows other people make mistakes too*

"pay for my chemotherapy" Jesus Christ that caught me off guard 😂🤣

This bloodline ends with me

Not having kids is good for the environment

I'm lucky to have parents who don't pressure me into "continuing the bloodline" but we do still have relatives who say and believe that women aren't truly women until they become mothers. They might have a few moments of joy that they claim are worth the rest of their miserable lives, but I'm not for that shit. I'd rather have few moments of struggles in a blissful carefree child-free life, thank you very much!

Funny story. So my kids are 10 years apart. When my youngest was an infant we were all up on night because of colic and it was about 3am and I'm just pacing the floor with this screaming devil child and my 10 year old walks up and says, mom, maybe we should have gotten a puppy and my husband is like, naw puppies are still trouble we should have gotten a goldfish 🤣 and to this day when I see kids acting up in public I think to myself, should have gotten a goldfish 😂

Everyone: when are you having kids? Me: never Them: why not Me: I don't want to. Why do you want to have kids anyway ? Them: uhhhh ummm well... That's just what everyone does. Right? That just never seemed like a good enough reason for me.

I’m 43 and never once though “I WANNA HAVE KIDS” and if you don’t feel that way you shouldn’t have them.

I don't want kids because I'd constantly be worried about them. The world is a dangerous place.

I’ve never heard Mike Birbiglia before. He’s hilarious

49 years old, never married, no kids, the BEST decision I've made, no child support, alimony, headaches or aggravation......

"I've lost a lot of friends to kids ..." This right here is the reason I'm not gonna get married any time soon. Better live the best out of life.

And that's why I prefer cats. They can take care of themselves.

Childfree for life.

Ricky speaks with hilarious blunt truth.

The Hannibal joke makes sense, I never eat off the top plates

Having kids is tantamount to forcing lifelong debt and disappointment on oneself, on purpose....why the hell would anyone want to do that?!

if we have triplets.. were gonna have to give one away this aint texas hold em lmfao

“The referee is heartless” 😂

This clip is the most energy I've ever seen Hannibal have but it still seems like he's slightly stoned lmao

Ricky is ruthless 🤣

Kids are a bad idea if you are incompetent, irresponsible, immature (literally or metaphorically) and selfish, or if you don't have enough resources to even take care of yourself.

People who think having kids gives you purpose literally just have no life and no purpose. Kind of pathetic.

"Oh...dead." Me with every plant I've ever brought home.

Forget the pampers lol 😂😂😂

I have two 3 year old brothers and i am 16 I feel like a parent and I dont want kids now

-...do you love me now daddy? -NO 😭😭😭

smartest decision i’ve ever made is not having kids.

Love when Gervais laughs at his own jokes.

Ricky goes to hell, for the many reasons. But it calms me, I know, when I go to hell, there is him , makes the place worth going there

I heard a creative podcast speak about how many artists called their children "dream killers". I heard that early on and made a conscience effort to make sure I balanced my creativity and artistry with being a great father. Kids are a handful but if you can find your best balance, then it's pretty damn awesome. I love being a dad even though at times kids make you want to bang your head against the wall. I do hate the pressure women put on other women to have kids. Then it gets cult like.

Him: "oh.... dead" Me: ....Wait what? 👀 Him: "DEAD!" Me: Omg 🤣😂🤣

I think everyone loves kids. They just don't like being parents. Also Ricky is insane 😂😅🤣

Nobody: Them: You would make a great mother!! Me: Who's gonna be the daddy?? Them: Silence...👀

Cheers to how many times he said Hampstead c*@t! 😂

The last guy totally gets me. A bit of advice would be to be on the exact same page when it comes to kids before getting married. If one person wants kids, but the other doesn't, it won't work out. If one person says "not now, but maybe later" and the other is adamant about not wanting kids, it more than likely won't work out, because women who say "maybe" about kids usually want them later on in life once those maternal instincts kick in. I say that as a woman/nonbinary who has no maternal instincts, never wants kids, and has talked to plenty of women going through the "baby crazy" phase. It usually happens in their mid-twenties to early thirties. But I digress. My point is that you should talk about kids before settling down with anyone. You both need to be on the same page 100%. Kids are a huge deal and they shouldn't be brought into this world without a lot of thought and discussion. Be with someone who matches you on core values and goals pertaining to important life decisions, like children, marriage, finances, beliefs, and expectations. Don't settle. It's okay to leave someone if they're not a good match. You both deserve to have a partner that's right for you. Just make sure you decide these things before marriage so that you're not stuck with a painful and expensive divorce. Know your partner. Don't jump into marriage during the puppy love phase. See them at their absolute best and worst and have them see yours, too. Know their quirks, personality, flaws, mannerisms, attitude, etc inside and out. Live together before marriage. Trust me on that. You never know your partner fully till you're under the same roof day in and day out. My fiance and I have been together 16 years and we're still learning. Communication is key. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 😅

I don't want to have kids I want to adopt I want to NOT go through the most nasty and tiring aspects of raising a child, like getting up at 3am, changing diapers, potty training and all that

I feel guilty laughing so hard at Ricky’s last gag.

As a 27 year old who swore she would never ever have kids, who now has a 6 month old I agree with everything

*makes shotgun sounds" "tou got bit" 😂😂 I died. I'm 35, my boyfriend is 23. All my appropriately aged bfs left me to have kids. This one will to, he just doesn't know it yet. He slips and says shit like, well my kids. And I'm just like cool, good to know this is temporary. Idk man. It's hard. He gets mad that I expect him to leave but he says shit like that. I have not seen one person I know, have kids and suddenly become happier people. Don't add a child to your miserable life with the expectation that kid give your life meaning. Then get disappointed and resent it when it doesn't. So many traumatized little kids out there with parents that use them like accessories. I guess maybe they will be good comedians someday.

Mike is so underrated, he knows exactly who he is.

After 10 minutes with my nieces and nephews, I am done. I am not about that parenting life. Also, children cost a lot of money, and they don't give you anything back in return. Let us be honest. LOL

"i hope she gives away the first kid, cause I'm the kind of dude who, er, never picks up the first newspaper off the newspaper stand". That black dude killed it.

“3 of the same baby” 😂😂😂

Yaaaay! Finally people are coming around to normalizing living without breeding

That imaginary baby kick gave me anchorman vibes

Even a badass like Ricky Gervais knows his place as a cat servant!

Being an aunt or uncle is great!

Ricky Gervais has to be top 5 current comedians?

I've had suffered enough in life that I don't want to bring someone in life to suffer as well or even worse than me , Life is overrated , call me nihilist , pessimist or whatever , but that's the truth

This was refreshing to watch!!😁

It’s true. Once you have kids, fun is over.

"Forget the pampers lol". Now I am Dead! 😆

Don't let the bed bugs bi... Oh... Dead.

Why... Did... You... Cut after THE SECOND REASON I WANT TO KNOW ALL SEVEN!!! FOR F%+¢ SAKE!!!

"pay for my chemotherapy" "nuh - uh. not my problem, son" 😂😂😂😆😆😆😂😂😂

These are my people! I was 6 or 7 years old when I knew I didn't want kids. And absolutely nothing has changed my mind about that in the last 25+ years. I have yet to meet someone who's life was improved by having kids - they ruin your life.

“You call that a baby?” 😂

All so brilliant but Ricky you are legendary 😘

When you know a set of twins: *"Oh, you're a twin? Neat!"* When you hear a rumor of triplets in your municipality: *Triplets... what do they eat? Are they cursed? What should I do if I see one?"*

"But have you ever dropped a baby?"

During Ricky's set i couldn't help but picture him in the passenger seat while my 4yo kicks the back of his seat like he's running down an up elevator. I'm a single mom, the kid has heard me say to people, 'if we date you do not get to participate in any aspect of raising him because he's mine and he knows he doesn't have to listen to anyone but me😊'

I do have kids and don’t regret it, but I don’t understand why people concern themselves with other people having kids. I mean Ricky is right, the world is overpopulated. Also, I think if you’re going to be obsessed with the subject, worry more about the people having kids who maybe shouldn’t.

Some people should never have kids. I agree btw thank you for your service. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.

This makes me sad I’ve never watched a Ricky Gervais standup lmfao

The part with the kicks and stuff was truly the best ! FCKING HELL ! 🤣🤣🤣👏

"... he's heartless!" 😅

“ I’ve lost a lot of great friends to kids “ I think Donald Glover said that first but ok

This was gold lol

This comp hits home and I’m a parent 🤫 🤦🏾‍♂️😂

"Just You and Me and this kid that's a mix of You and Some Grad Student Jerking His Way Through SUNY Purchase" As a Purch Alum this killed me mainly bc I know at least half a dozen students who made donations just to afford their textbooks.

I’m scared that I’ll want a baby, have one, then realize how much they suck and want a refund.

Bro the pay for my chemo part🤯😅🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅

"You got bit!" Seriously XD thats how it is...

I think the main issue is not about having kids but the sorrounding shitfull system we all have to live in which parents hope their kids to get the most out of it

I’ve lost a lot of friends to kids too, enjoy the tiny tyrants, F