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Compilation Of Michael's Best Jokes About Babies And Toddlers | Michael McIntyre 

Michael McIntyre
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Trying to make a baby, overdue baby, playgroup and teaching babies to walk and talk.
Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/
Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre
Twitter: @McInTweet
#MichaelMcIntyre #Babies

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28 май 2019

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Комментарии : 496   
@harrislondon
@harrislondon 4 года назад
The way he said "theft" had me dieing 😅
@karrahxeros1103
@karrahxeros1103 4 года назад
Same 😂
@katarinasuljug5033
@katarinasuljug5033 4 года назад
dying*
@briannasproule362
@briannasproule362 4 года назад
Katarina Šuljug literally who gives a toss, this was 2 months ago ahahah
@zahrahusain5965
@zahrahusain5965 3 года назад
The way you spelled dieing had me dying
@_coops397
@_coops397 3 года назад
@@karrahxeros1103 ha
@girlradiodemon3693
@girlradiodemon3693 4 года назад
"you never wake a sleeping woman" so true
@iim4xii129
@iim4xii129 3 года назад
Or a sleeping man.
@carolelangat-fortune4557
@carolelangat-fortune4557 3 года назад
🤣🤣🤣
@MaikaRose
@MaikaRose 5 лет назад
HE'S FRENCH!! 😂
@menogustaanyofthisbullshit8525
HE'S A GENIUS!!
@Emmmajaane96
@Emmmajaane96 4 года назад
Marielle Hjeltnes she’s talking about what Michael said in the video, dumbass
@mepoopsies1905
@mepoopsies1905 4 года назад
😂 had to clutch my stomach, laughed so hard 🤣
@DragonLuver44
@DragonLuver44 4 года назад
@@idek6219 learn to spell British DUMBASS
@rubym-d4132
@rubym-d4132 4 года назад
Marielle Hjeltnes takes one to know one
@renyputman7118
@renyputman7118 4 года назад
I remember my mum telling me what my first word was. Mama and papa are the Dutch words for mum and dad. Turns out the first word that came out of my mouth was mapa. So when I yelled MAPA I'd basically ask both my parents to come.
@leonie93
@leonie93 4 года назад
Haha my son is 2 and when he wants both of us he also says mapa 😂
@maikevanb
@maikevanb 4 года назад
My mom doesn't remember my first word because: "You always talked so much!" ... Being the 3th child.
@randomstuffings2866
@randomstuffings2866 4 года назад
In my language mapa means map. (Filipino if you're wondering).
@kevartje1295
@kevartje1295 4 года назад
I don't know what my first word was but I Always called paracetamol (asprin) pielepallepolletjes XD
@mariakhan7986
@mariakhan7986 3 года назад
My first word was cow and my 16 yr old aunty used to complain cause she was certain it was directed to her.
@ShawolOT5
@ShawolOT5 5 лет назад
G for gnome. 😂🤣😂 I lost it!
@summerelford5208
@summerelford5208 4 года назад
N for gnome
@gardenjoy5223
@gardenjoy5223 3 года назад
And here come I convinced he actually meant genome.
@breannareed3161
@breannareed3161 4 года назад
I am so happy I found this dude. Best comedian EVER!
@chriswilliams6568
@chriswilliams6568 4 года назад
AwstheticBunny He is great yes, but check out Dave Allen too.
@NyanyiC
@NyanyiC 4 года назад
Listen to his Audiobook. Its available on here on RU-vid somewhere
@lastjellyontheplate8828
@lastjellyontheplate8828 Год назад
@@chriswilliams6568 Dave Allen is crap, boring , not even humorous. Sean Locke is the guy.
@chriswilliams6568
@chriswilliams6568 Год назад
@@lastjellyontheplate8828 millions would disagree, and I have never even heard of Sean Locke.
@lastjellyontheplate8828
@lastjellyontheplate8828 Год назад
@@chriswilliams6568 Dave Allen is old hat, and if you haven't heard of Sean Locke then you're probably not English.
@taylor7017
@taylor7017 5 лет назад
The three dislikes are from the family whose child STOLE his kids toy head
@laurenhawes7201
@laurenhawes7201 4 года назад
Its at 298, its a war against lineages now
@comediansactorsandall2502
@comediansactorsandall2502 4 года назад
It’s now in the 300s
@tearnor3103
@tearnor3103 2 года назад
Whenever I need a giggle or laugh out loud I come back to Mr McIntyre.
@phillipasoocinnamonroll4812
@phillipasoocinnamonroll4812 4 года назад
As a baby I, apparently couldn’t say „hello“, „hi“, „hey“ or anything like that. I could however say „how do you do?”
@katiefly5901
@katiefly5901 4 года назад
Omg you must have been the cutest, most accidentally sophisticated baby ever
@Jess_ica2927
@Jess_ica2927 3 года назад
This is so British and so excellent
@kylamamber9080
@kylamamber9080 3 года назад
My little brother, he's three, can't say duck yet he can say platypus.
@Kim-vs4vb
@Kim-vs4vb 3 года назад
😀 so cute
@govaxx8884
@govaxx8884 3 года назад
My first word was.. Daddaddaddaddaddaddadd
@mikeylikesit525
@mikeylikesit525 5 лет назад
Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whisky, Xray, Yankee, Zulu. For those wondering.
@techtitanuk5609
@techtitanuk5609 5 лет назад
That's what q is thanks
@steelleey7263
@steelleey7263 5 лет назад
India, indigo can sound like kilo on broken net.
@mikeylikesit525
@mikeylikesit525 5 лет назад
@@steelleey7263 oop didn't notice I thought it said India
@HighTen_Melanie
@HighTen_Melanie 5 лет назад
G is for Gnome according to Michael.
@hellonobody3321
@hellonobody3321 5 лет назад
Woundering what?
@lemonteacore
@lemonteacore 4 года назад
When you realize his kids are now 14 and 11
@smileandwaveboys
@smileandwaveboys 4 года назад
Anna T wait what
@charlottedeacon6031
@charlottedeacon6031 4 года назад
Anna T I already knew! It feels strange watching this!
@squiggle.64
@squiggle.64 4 года назад
Oh wow-
@inez7625
@inez7625 4 года назад
That’s really weird, his eldest son is the same age as me I swear he was younger 🤔
@unknownuser-nl7ey
@unknownuser-nl7ey 4 года назад
Omg no way
@Saartje05
@Saartje05 5 лет назад
The child of friends of mine was very quick with talking. When they took him to the doctor she asked them if he could already make small sentences, two or three words in a row. And their boy answered with. 'Mommy, what does that woman want from me?'
@moiramontoya1023
@moiramontoya1023 5 лет назад
Me as a baby!
@littleboots9800
@littleboots9800 4 года назад
My kid was freakishly good at memorising random stuff she heard and when a friend and I took our kids through an echoey tunnel the kids started shouting "ECHO!" to hear their voices sounding back and my kid shouted "ECHO LOCATION DEVICE!!!" We were like wtf??! 😂 must've heard it on the TV. Precocious little shit.
@karenax254
@karenax254 2 года назад
LOL!!
@Salicat99
@Salicat99 Год назад
My best friend's daughter was around 18 months old when my husband asked how she was feeling that day. She replied, ummm exuberant.
@correcthorsebatterystaplebubbl
wooowww amazing
@nafisa.t13
@nafisa.t13 5 лет назад
NO JOOOS I'm dying xDDD
@Succeshero-yw1rl
@Succeshero-yw1rl 4 года назад
Not so funny peanutbrain
@susanwesterfield9241
@susanwesterfield9241 5 лет назад
My grandson couldn't say top but he could say abacus. Go figure.
@ixlnxs
@ixlnxs 4 года назад
The running gag is that in wealthy families the first world babies are taught is prenuptial arrangements. Which is sort of true ;)
@Icebluegel11
@Icebluegel11 4 года назад
My son wouldn’t say please but could say lawn mower
@jemmagrice3218
@jemmagrice3218 5 лет назад
6:52 “It’s snowing In August” Michaels been watching Nanny McPhee
@leticia1579
@leticia1579 5 лет назад
When I was learning English as a child I had "x for x-ray" :D
@sleepyhead1707
@sleepyhead1707 4 года назад
Or xylophone
@sepgorut2492
@sepgorut2492 4 года назад
That was a very weird way to learn English.
@zoeadams2635
@zoeadams2635 4 года назад
X-ray is pronouncing the letter X, but xylophone is how it is used in a word, like a "z" sound.
@vampirequeen017
@vampirequeen017 4 года назад
You must be an Aussie ☺️ am I correct ? Or not even close ?
@TheRoxen92
@TheRoxen92 4 года назад
I’ve just discovered this amazing comic, and now I can’t stop watching his videos... I’m laughing my head off 😂😂😂
@djmcconnelltt11
@djmcconnelltt11 3 года назад
Absolute talented entertainer! Hysterical, without having to use expletives unless it’s absolutely essential!
@alexdiaz4181
@alexdiaz4181 2 года назад
Hello Denise how are you doing today,merry Christmas
@nicolah6568
@nicolah6568 4 года назад
N for knickers. Absolutely one of Michael's funniest things he's ever said
@Christiediddy
@Christiediddy 4 года назад
Playgroup.... summed it up amazingly!!!! 😂😂
@katiefly5901
@katiefly5901 4 года назад
"Licking batteries..." 😂
@donnakerr4997
@donnakerr4997 2 года назад
YOU LITERALLY CAN NOT BEAT BRITISH HUMOUR 👏👏👏
@gwae48
@gwae48 2 года назад
TRUE. ONLY CANT UNDERSTAND HALF OF WHAT MM SAYS. TOO LOUD, TOO FAST. I KNOW HE CAN BE FUNNY BUT NOT WORTH THE EGFORT. TRY SLOWER AND LESS DEAFENING, MM !!!!!
@lastjellyontheplate8828
@lastjellyontheplate8828 Год назад
@@gwae48 oh well at least Brits can understand everything he says
@jaz58107
@jaz58107 3 года назад
Omg Michael I love you. You've saved my sanity throughout this lockdown what a gift to humanity you are 🥰😂
@jesseleighbrackstone8365
@jesseleighbrackstone8365 9 месяцев назад
I make a point of listening to Michael for at least fifteen minutes daily. I’m a much nicer person because of this ritual, and I haven’t murdered my husband yet, which was definitely on the table before Michael came in to our lives!😃 Blessings! 🙏🏻 Jesse.🌹
@corinamartell3156
@corinamartell3156 3 года назад
Laughing and snorting at the same time🤣💜
@user-lh6hz7ee5q
@user-lh6hz7ee5q 4 года назад
Help its 2am and everyone's alseep. HES FRENCH!!!
@MissYunichan
@MissYunichan 4 года назад
He's French accent is so good !!
@natralskitsophrenia8465
@natralskitsophrenia8465 4 года назад
XD the random man in the audience calling out "Curry!" X3
@nafeesainaayaiqbal9794
@nafeesainaayaiqbal9794 5 лет назад
hes the best comedian by farrrrrrr
@suleskos.2743
@suleskos.2743 4 года назад
"G for gnome" Im totally using that! 😀
@lucasfoster2009
@lucasfoster2009 9 месяцев назад
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING HIM FOR 2 YEARS NOWW NEVER BORD
@Mad9977
@Mad9977 4 года назад
"sorry i was busy" 😂
@Camilla550
@Camilla550 5 месяцев назад
*“If a celebrity has died or it’s snowing.”* 😂😂😂
@lynnetrathen4587
@lynnetrathen4587 2 года назад
This guy is awesome and he doesn’t use vulgar or filthy language 🤣🤣
@thebee8415
@thebee8415 2 года назад
Look up on RU-vid Michael McIntyres Midnight game show you’ll be in the stitches
@HopelessSinner
@HopelessSinner 3 года назад
That is SO accurate about the diseased toys in manky church halls!! #playgroups
@elizabethmish6891
@elizabethmish6891 3 года назад
I love how he says he had another baby. Lolol
@KarenAtLongNeck
@KarenAtLongNeck 3 года назад
One of my sons first phrases were. “Don’t do dat”. And Put dat down”. I felt it a reflection of my parenting. 😉
@terri241
@terri241 Год назад
Love Michael"s humour. His humour has a great deal in common with the sensibility of women humourists. Nice to see a man who "gets it"!
@hopeprendergast
@hopeprendergast 3 года назад
2020 anyone👀... nope? Just me binge watching all of his shows? Okay...
@xalexis.editsx
@xalexis.editsx 4 года назад
"Nooooo Jeeewwws" 😂😂
@jojodagostino7806
@jojodagostino7806 3 года назад
In Italy we use the names of the towns to spell words... same struggle: when you need it, you can't think of a single town with the letter you need! 😂
@lisasmith9268
@lisasmith9268 3 года назад
English isn’t even my first language and I had X- for “Xylophone”
@ekleamon1
@ekleamon1 2 года назад
He is arguably the funniest comedian on the planet.
@johnlargan6045
@johnlargan6045 5 лет назад
Genius!
@tabethahowell5859
@tabethahowell5859 4 года назад
He really is fantastic
@jjuniper721
@jjuniper721 4 года назад
I love the curtain between the different jokes😍
@danyal22
@danyal22 5 лет назад
N for knowledge
@meganjones3546
@meganjones3546 4 года назад
N for Knickers 😂😂😂
@hannahjardine3047
@hannahjardine3047 5 лет назад
My little brother says no all the time! It’s so funny he’s 18 months and it’s so cute 🤣 and Micheal is so funnyand what he says is so true as well 🤣😂🤣😂
@jhutch1681
@jhutch1681 Год назад
Slight age gap?
@shananalexander9789
@shananalexander9789 3 года назад
My daughter Sarah wants to see you in a live performance. She has tried for almost 5 years. You are too popular. She is now going to Montana in the states because her husband is in the military. Thank you for being so funny and I myself have had a wonderful time watching you. The Dentist is the funniest thing I have ever seen. I told my son who lives in Colorado to watch it. He enjoyed it as much as I did.
@noix666dezephir
@noix666dezephir 5 лет назад
It should be X for Xanax lol "You'll need that when you grow up love"
@nadia689
@nadia689 4 года назад
That was the quickest 10 minutes of my life
@peyvandarabi3143
@peyvandarabi3143 3 года назад
This guy is comedy genius 🤣
@k8xt
@k8xt 4 года назад
A for aisle C for czar E for euphoria G for gnome H for hour K for knurl N for mnemonic P for pterodactyl Q for queue T for tmesipteris W for wryly
@stephanieellis5399
@stephanieellis5399 2 года назад
This is awesome. What you're really doing is testing their spelling abilities.
@Turtle-Melon
@Turtle-Melon 3 года назад
"You will never meet a xylophone player in your life!" Me, someone who actually plays xylophone: Well lucky you!
@candisvaught721
@candisvaught721 4 года назад
Love this guy laughter guaranteed sides will hurt
@_Pixiara_
@_Pixiara_ 5 лет назад
My Mum worked for the army, we use Alpha zulu etc in my house, lol.
@TheTradge
@TheTradge 5 лет назад
I always use the nato phonetics when trying to spell something on the phone like my surname or postcode, I was never in the army or police I just learned it for some reason =P
@Apricate.
@Apricate. 4 года назад
Alot of people use it. It wasn't made for the military and it isn't exclusive for them either
@chriswilliams6568
@chriswilliams6568 4 года назад
We in the Travel industry in Canada use the phonetic alphabet over the phone to prevent mistakes in passenger names as it is so important it be exactly the same as the name on their passports. But when we speak to USA suppliers they often do not know it. Same as they rarely know the 24 hour clock.
@tev4him1
@tev4him1 4 года назад
He is soooo friggin funny😂😂
@monkeyhall5149
@monkeyhall5149 4 года назад
He wants brioch HES A GENIUS!!!!
@nammoyosto-.-6125
@nammoyosto-.-6125 5 лет назад
m for mnemonic
@jayamarillo628
@jayamarillo628 5 лет назад
P for Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis
@OverWims
@OverWims 4 года назад
P for psychic
@heather8498
@heather8498 4 года назад
Nick Winz it’s actually pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis not koniosis. Lol sorry I’m just a dumb 12 yr old that somehow knows how to spell the longest word in the English dictionary...
@MariankGonzalez
@MariankGonzalez 4 года назад
No turkey no car should be a song. XD
@tillyhossain1049
@tillyhossain1049 4 года назад
i'm crying so much my eyes sting like hell right now
@mama--rua
@mama--rua Год назад
His talent is seeing the comedy in our everyday life. Mu husband makes me laugh all the time accidentally.
@santrolli
@santrolli 5 месяцев назад
Love him 😅
@debbiesb7543
@debbiesb7543 5 лет назад
Worked for an airline. On our first day on the phones my co worker blanked and said v for vagina lol
@linettelovejoypiwnicki3792
@linettelovejoypiwnicki3792 Год назад
I love you so much @Michael McIntyre!!! You are truly a gifted and amazing comedian and help to amazingly lift the vibration of this wonderful blessed world even higher… Thank you so very much for helping to brighten my life, Dude! And thank you to everybody involved in sharing this video with all of us! God bless everybody and everything everywhere joyfully, peacefully, funly, deliciously & cleanly! Woo hoo! Thank you very much Mother/Father God/Universe! 🙏💡😇⚓️🍀🪴✨🎉🦀🍶🙂🎂🇺🇸☮️🌟💚💐🌈👍🏽💖😜👌🦤🎈🦾🏍👏 much respectful love to all from Texas! 🇨🇱✨🎉
@shaya9745
@shaya9745 4 года назад
“no joosssss” 😂😂
@tricorvus2673
@tricorvus2673 5 лет назад
Have you seen the Boston hornbook Primer? "Xerxes the Great did die; and so muft you and I". At least Xylophone is cheery XD XP
@satsumamoon
@satsumamoon 3 года назад
One of my todlers would jump up and down and excitedly shout "fuck! Fuck!" I worried people would think he had be raised realy badly so I would have to correct him so as everyone could hear "yes darling, its a big truck!"
@toukie
@toukie Год назад
My father used to say "You spend the first 2 years of your child's life to teach them to walk and talk... and then the rest of their lives wishing they would just sit down and shut up" also, I work in customer service and what makes me laugh is when I "N like Nancy?" and I get "No, N like November" as a response
@Mad-RCandHOBBY
@Mad-RCandHOBBY 3 года назад
"he's french!" 😂
@Demostravius
@Demostravius 4 года назад
I genuinely once had a taiwaneese guy on the phone read out 'E for Eye'
@angelarbab0091
@angelarbab0091 4 года назад
The french part had me loling
@kennymurdock
@kennymurdock 4 года назад
🥺 Brilliant
@justalizardd
@justalizardd 4 года назад
I’m Keith’s and I’m cry-laughing. My little siblings have done the same thing 😂
@rosiesmith4649
@rosiesmith4649 4 года назад
LOVE THIS HAHAHA! SO FUNNY 😂💓😂💓
@lagwagonneverstops
@lagwagonneverstops 2 года назад
I once said K for Kit-Kat down the phone to student loans. Both the call handler and my mam and sister were in hysterics.
@sagarsunar
@sagarsunar 2 года назад
😄😄😄
@bigguy906
@bigguy906 3 года назад
that spotlight guy is getting his workout🤣
@margaritabishop6595
@margaritabishop6595 Год назад
He is so funny it's clean fun and I love it that the royals are being a part of it nice
@Oc3anFlow3r
@Oc3anFlow3r Год назад
LOL "He's French!!!!" Canadian here, when we told our two children that we were going to have another baby, our 4 yr old asked, "Will it have a British accent like Nana and Grandad?" LOL
@karenfakir7815
@karenfakir7815 11 месяцев назад
Love Michael ❤️
@andrewdawson3525
@andrewdawson3525 Год назад
No matter how much I see this "you will never meet a xylophone player in your life" will always be funny
@lucyjohnson2451
@lucyjohnson2451 4 года назад
My boy couldn't say superhero went round asking g for shitinaboat
@angelhelp
@angelhelp 4 года назад
Michael... looking for a word to use when verbally clarifying an alphabet letter can be even better if you quote from this book: "P Is for Pterodactyl". The book is subtitled: "The Worst Alphabet Book Ever". I await a new video... heehee! I am SO glad I happened to find your videos! You're hilarious!
@rubym-d4132
@rubym-d4132 4 года назад
I'm watching this for like the 400th time lol x
@lyndavis6859
@lyndavis6859 3 года назад
Love him
@jakeetschannel2031
@jakeetschannel2031 3 года назад
G, for gnome.. I've actually used that before! 🤣
@msbonnie37
@msbonnie37 3 года назад
Such a good laugh
@avelteavelte6606
@avelteavelte6606 4 года назад
It’s snowing in August 🤣
@V4zz33
@V4zz33 4 года назад
As a non-native English speaker living in the UK for a while I can say, that the phonetic alphabet is the first thing that you will learn to use, if you are willing to learn the language at all or to integrate, because you'll have to spell soooo many things about yourself, or just because the pronunciation is not on point.;))
@sitcomchristian6886
@sitcomchristian6886 Год назад
I'm an American secretary, and speak with many different nationalities bearing many different accents over the phone. One of my favorite types of people to speak with is the person who has a heavy accent, but they KNOW that and they spell everything phonetically! Although I'm pretty good with accents now, and never want to embarrass anyone, it can be a huge help.
@Lotto15719
@Lotto15719 4 года назад
My sister started babbling and forming words from a few months old. I didn’t speak until I was two years old. And then I just spoke full sentences. So yeah, everyone is different.
@TheBeckinator2000
@TheBeckinator2000 4 года назад
Exactly.
@katiefly5901
@katiefly5901 4 года назад
Dude, babies escalate from 0 to Genius in like a friggn year. Meanwhile, I'm over here fumbling with a USB drive, still trying to figure out how to fit it into its stupid port.
@victoriabriffa7066
@victoriabriffa7066 3 года назад
I really like this episode of Michael mycentyre he is so funny in this episode
@Niki-mp8qe
@Niki-mp8qe 3 года назад
When my boy was in playschool and took him in the others would mistake me as one of the people working there 🤣
@sharonmullins1957
@sharonmullins1957 4 года назад
The camera person must go crazy with him. So funny, but a bit hyper.
@ekdaufin1485
@ekdaufin1485 5 лет назад
Good idea! Hang around cars. 🤣
@gilashroot8697
@gilashroot8697 Год назад
I actually thought the same thing about Xylophone until 2 weeks ago when we were at the music lessons and the first thing they pulled out was a Xylophone 🙈. Love the "G" for Gnome. That goes well with the "K" for knife and "I" for king 🤓.
@elanorallmann
@elanorallmann 3 года назад
3:25. For whenever I need this joke.
@sharonmcauley2582
@sharonmcauley2582 3 года назад
"No,Caaar" 😂
@hehehehe6468
@hehehehe6468 4 года назад
xD, How can u be that funny 😂😂 When u like ur own comment😭😭
@katiefly5901
@katiefly5901 4 года назад
Lol every time 🤙 We can't help it! Us commenters are just so funny!
@jhutch1681
@jhutch1681 Год назад
So clever!
@cellogirl20
@cellogirl20 5 лет назад
First you've got to set the house on fire then you've got to knock on the door... "fire department!" "Evacuate!"
@jayamarillo628
@jayamarillo628 5 лет назад
what?
@junojay4563
@junojay4563 4 года назад
@@jayamarillo628 curry + sex = labour
@lindab8397
@lindab8397 3 года назад
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣he cant get more funny 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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