CONFESSIONS Of A FORMER HABITUAL CHEATER | Laterras R. Whitfield 

***DISCLAIMER: In this interview, I transparently shared my mindset as a broken man in a marriage that began in 2008. That's 16 years ago! The questions were geared towards the infidelity in my marriage in hopes to educate viewers of the importance of healing before "l do." DON'T MISS THE MESSAGE. I've been divorced going on 7 years now. So you are hearing about the toxic decisions of my past versus my reformed mindset. The major difference between this interview and what many of you are used to hearing from me on the Dear Future Wifey podcast is this interview was centered around the past and DFW showcases the healed present mindset and my future goals. My current mindset is committed to abstinence and killing the Goliath of infidelity.

Ladies please stay single until a man is really worthy of you.. being single really isn’t so bad

My prayer is to marry a man who wants to marry me because he LOVES me, not because I'm a constant, calm, moral, anointed, Christian woman.

He basically just shared how a dude under the guise of a religion or belief system with bad character and discipline preys on women who they see as "pure" or a "good woman". It's a lot of dudes like him out here. As women, we must believe what we see and hear. These dudes are lukewarm, on the fence, self-centered, predators.

Man, this was deeply disturbing. My heart breaks for his ex wife. So much was emotionally stolen from her. Prayerfully, she finds healing.

While you were cheating she was in prayers begging for peace for your decision and peace within her self ! That’s why there was no fight from her during the divorce. She already healed from u ❤️.

I’m happy he was open to tell his story, but this was a mess. I pray everyday that I love myself enough to never allow a person like this in my presence.

I’m 8 mins into the interview and what I’ve already concluded is a woman can be all the things a man “wants” and you will still get cheated on. Sooo she’s supposed to fight for a marriage where he cheated the whole time?? I’m so glad his ex wife moved on with her life.

I pray not one more woman on this planet marries a man like this and has a marriage like that. Ever again. Amen

We need to stop dating/marrying potential. If you’re with someone who doesn’t feed your soul. Why marry?

I feel like a lot of men have their real preferred partners but marry other women who are "wife material" because it looks good on paper, causing them to cheat with the real preference. People should just like who they like and spare others the pain and dysfunction.

I told this married man to put in the same effort he's putting into pursuing me into his wife, and he'll be amazed at what happens. Let me tell you, they got back on track, and shortly after, his wife gave birth to another son. Ladies, send married men away, send them back to their wives.Donot be the reason for a broken home. Our heavenly Father sees all things and knows all things. 🙏 ❤️

It's really sad how we've conditioned women to take rubbish. How many times would you hear that a man was fasting for this serial cheater wife to change? Never! He just leaves. If he loves her, he'll demand/plead for change … then leave if it's not changing. Women are out here spending almost a decade, sometimes even more, with serial cheaters - praying that they change. Do you really think he'd afford you that same patience? Sis, respect yourself enough to walk away from rubbish.

Is this man actually serious? after being a serial cheater for years he's moaning about his wife not fighting to keep him. Why could he not fight for his marriage by being faithful/trying to change? The entitlement is shocking.

Proud of his Ex wife for choosing her self🙌🏾 Queens don’t chase! He said it was peaceful Divorcing her & nothing would’ve change it. That was her Closure🙏🏾Good for her!!

The cheating had nothing to do with the wife. It had to do with the fact that he had the habit already of sleeping with multiple women. I bet the wife wanted sex, but he minimized it. Some times people make up stuff in their mind to make what they did seem like it was not as bad. He cheated in the first year. He could of sat the wife down and told her his exact feelings. He wanted a good woman without being a good man. He still doesn’t not seem like his mindset is full changed either based on how he talks. It just seems as such because he is not married.

I’m so glad to see so many women “seeing through” his efforts to be genuine. Ladies… run from men like this. I see not one fruit of the spirit in this man. Not marriage material at this point..

This missed the mark for me... he speaks about women like we are someTHING to use. Saying Amen after saying "not selfish with your vagina" doesn't excuse the blatant disrespect.

Men like this are so scary there’s an excuse for everything he’s done. I hope he’s ex wife find peace over this situation.

Dear Ex-wifey...We the people are HAPPY you didn't fight for this man.

He mentioned his ex- wife didn’t want to fight for the marriage….he wasn’t worth fighting for.

CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY & PROFESSIONALISM OF BREENY

He didn't want to marry the other woman cause she was just like him and the one he married he felt was weaker. He said he knew her moves before she made them and she wasn't much to manage, cool, and not high maintenance. She was just the perfect victim. He really wanted the other woman but he knew she was like him. She helped him cheat and would probably cheat on him, she knows the game and he knows it

This man is so self aware and honest. The average man is just like this but doesn’t admit it. Applause to this man for educating us so we can protect ourselves

people with narcissistic traits never own up to anything.... observe how he makes excuses for everything. 💀

I heard that men who are unable to wait and control themselves in dating ie be abstinence are going to use that same lack of self control to cheat on you in marriage I’m going to keep that in mind moving on.

His podcast is transformative. Don't get lost in the medium; his message and interviewees stories' ARE healing. And he doesn't focus on himself as much on his podcast; he really allows his guests a platform and space to share their experiences and there are lessons and wisdom in them. I find myself feeling like I wish his episodes were longer when they're already an hour plus in length!

I wish I could hear his wife's perspective; she was probably working hard, maintaining a home, running a business, or maybe she felt unsatisfied sexually or thought he was selfish- things that may require brutal honesty and the help of a counselor.

My thoughts on this interview: I don't mind hearing his experience from a time in his life before he knew better. However, the way he delivered it seemed to lack genuine thoughtfulness, not only to his wife at the time but also to the overall situation that he is introducing your audience to for the first time. I feel like his answers/storytelling was rushed and sloppy and made him come off arrogant and not genuinely remorseful. IDK maybe he thought he was communicating his story effectively but to me, it seemed like he was trying to be funny and likable which caused him to come off in the opposite way. I'm sure he isn't the same man that he was back then but his answers don't show the audience that he is a man who truly understands the weight of his actions and words.

He was already cheating before the marriage he was always a cheater. Never marry a man who shows you he's not your husband. I would have been out, no forgiveness.

Lesson: when someone shows you who they are believe them. He cheated before marriage, is extremely arrogant. Takes no accountability. Religious without a relationship. He also comes off as controlling. **Ladies trust your intuition. If this convo makes you cringe your not alone. He seems very narcissistic. Protect yourself because you may be all that you have.

Breeny keeping her composure during some of the moments were hysterical. 😂

I feel like he married her profile - businesslike, church going, non-attitude - and interchanged that for compatibility and did not marry for friendship, passion, love and purpose. Over time, the cheating and her nonchalantness in divorce were unfortunate results in their union. Honestly, I almost made that mistake myself SEVERAL times, and despite your best intentions, you just don't know what you just don't know...

A married, praying, cheating man. God, please make it stop.☹️

I hope he’s still in therapy! He’s not healed. He said a whole bunch of nothing giving me a headache 🤕…Everything is about him & what he wants like he’s the prize. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Sad state of affairs with a lot of our men.

I’m so happy to see that we are all seeing through this facade of “healing”

As much as he's "telling his truth" and talks about "his journey" blah blah blah, he still very much talks with a level of pride when he talks about his affairs. Clearly he still has a longggggggg way to go, because theres not enough remorse here. Sorry to his ex wife.

Dont want a woman "stingy with *her* vagina" ???????????????????That tell me everything i need to know

This is the selfishness of a narcissist. He manipulated the situation for premarital sex, moved on to cheat for years, excused perpetual cheating as hurt, then told her after years of cheating… because HE was ready to fix it… and seemed disappointed that she didn’t fight against divorce. I hope she is well.

5 minutes in listening to this man is nauseating God Bless you Breeny for this interview 🙏🏽

These men crack me the hell up. If a man come to me talking about he been cheating on me there's no way I'm fighting for a marriage..the trust has been broken and the disrespect of it all. No ma'am lol. Those divorce papers would have been waiting on him the next day....putting my health at risk passing it out and then bringing it home to me.

WOW! I'm only 8 minutes in, and I'm disappointed in his behavior. He says "amen" behind wayyy too much, mainly behind his comments about sex, and THEN wanting you to say "amen" in agreeance with him. That's wild. Saying, "don't judge me" in reference to him "just putting the head in" into a bunch of women in his younger years, as if he shouldn't be judging himself on that and admitting that was wrong, is bothersome. We ALL have things to work on, but he still has a lot of pride and ego attached to him. He probably should have waited to do this interview.

He has a big fat blind spot when it comes to his shadow (“dark side”). Breeny dropped a *gem* right in front of him and shined the light on it at 21:05. He didn’t even recognize it - or, he couldn’t/wouldn’t see it - so he breezed right by it with denial (“I’m not like that. I’m real. I’m honest about what I desire.”) because he isn’t self-aware of this part of himself. Or, he is aware of it and doesn’t want to accept it. Breeny was so kind. I don’t know if I could’ve let that pass. I heard his answer and immediately thought, 🗣 “You’re one of the men she’s talking about! How do you not see this about yourself?!” The women he desires are the type he actually wants. They just don’t fit the image he wants to (publicly) present because they’re not “respectable,” they don’t fit into what he thinks his wife *should* be. What we desire can be completely different than the image of ourselves we want to present, speaking to Breeny’s point. Until we accept ourselves, who we are, and what we actually want, we’ll never reconcile the gap between image (societal expectations) vs. reality which means we’ll continue to live an inauthentic life. It seems like he’s still lying to himself about what he wants. He wants a freak, not a “good girl.” He probably could find the freak he likes, marry her, be satisfied and finally at peace if he cared less about image.

He reminds me of my children’s father, looks and the behavior is the same. I lived it, I thought I could sit here and listen, but i can’t.

I wonder what he brought to the relationship...I keep hearing...I want, I want!

This man is not what we women need to entertain at all...the manipulation is reeking

I’m 8 mins in and speechless 😶

Unfortunately my father is just like this man. Turning 30 this year and finally have enough knowledge to know the first sign of bs within a 2 min interaction.

Hes the one that for 5 years cheated and then blames it on the ex wife and says she didnt fight for the marriage💀

So the other woman tried to stop him from getting married and he continued to get married just to cheat with the same woman…. Why lock a woman down in that kind of almost permanent way if you’re not gonna FULLY step up to the plate ??

Pressuring someone into saying “AMEN” to your nonsense is crazy! This guy is SICK 😷 🤮! All he talked about was his needs, HIS sexual needs in the marriage but not once he talked about what he was bringing to the table ! That’s a narcissist right there! Ladies, 🏃🏾‍♀️ run for your life

Until I walk a day in someone’s shoes, I continue to remain apprehensive when commenting on matters concerning a person’s response or behaviour. This is between him and God. It’s not for anyone to pass judgement. All we can do is learn. No matter what people think, such opinions don’t change the facts. This was a very informative discussion. We should all take lessons learned from this, and see how to apply it in our lives. Hopefully from this we can make better decisions in life.

Let’s not glamorize him he caused so much pain for this women

"your healed version may not like what your broken version was attracted to." WORD!

If the wife was interviewed, it would make it nearly 100% impossible to be able to tell his story with this kind of confidence. I always say, sometimes the crazy, the crazy lies in the awareness. Not the same thing but as an illustration: I once had a friend who was abusive to her child. Emotionally. But everyone would allow her a pass because she called out the abuse and would tell anyone who would listen how messed up she was. It didn't sit well with me. I once told another friend of mine, her awareness of her situation makes me uncomfortable, makes me think she isn't remorseful at all. She's creating the narrative in order to manipulate and cloud our instinctive feelings about it. Fast forward years later, her child is older and has major issues. She lacks empathy for her mother. That shows me, if her child was to have articulated her experience, there would have been no room for her mother to give her curated testimonies. I was with a cheating Man so of course I am a bit triggered but the reason I left in all honesty, was the assumptive way the sorry came across. It wasn't sincere. My ex wasn't able to slowly and thoughtfully work through why he did what he did. He was rushed in his healing. As a result he still isn't healed because even when we interact because of the kids, his energy is not clear. I wish him the best of course but let me tell you, the healing is in the silence not the declaration.

Why would she fight for a marriage that you are cheating on her in. RESPECT to the ex wife.

You don’t find love in sex. Sex is the fruit of love. Not the other way around. He is lacking self love. And he never engaged with his wife, it’s not that she didn’t talk a lot…he wasn’t interested enough in HER to discover HER. And love is an ACTION. I’m sorry but you can’t love someone while cheating on them. It’s literally the opposite of what it means to love someone. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Aka: sacrificially. He’s not a sacrificial person.

I’m an honesty guy. Cheated for five years and confessed after five years. Denying the type of woman that you are truly interested in. Don’t marry her because she didn’t have the qualities of your wife but cheated on your wife with her. He’s not being honest with himself

22:18 you missed her point. She made a very valid point of men lying to themselves about their "marriage material" then end up mistreating and cheating on their marriage material with the other woman they claim isn't marriage material

I think it’s toxic for someone to say they wanna leave but want you to fight for them like we’re all adults here! Ima respect your decision at the end of the day I can’t make you do sun you don’t want to

The biggest lesson I got from this entire interview is COMMUNICATION. Once y'all stop talking about the things you're feeling, experiencing etc you drift off onto seperate pages in the book. The only way to stay on the same page is by being vulnerable and transparent. Just communicate. A conversation might not fix everything but it atleast allows both parties to understand each other's perspective. And in turn, this may lead to less drama, friction, irritability and potentially even unfaithfulness.

It is so important to be with someone equally yoked. He and his ex wife, when it came to sex wanted different things. She didn’t care for sex like that and he did. The conversation about sex should have been had while he was courting her. Good for him for being honest and he is right our opinions of him do not matter. However, please, for anyone who wants to wait before marriage or healed enough to invite someone into your space or whatever space you are in, communicate wants,needs, and values. It is so important. Good luck to him and I hope his ex is doing well.

I watched this 2 times in disbelief, my friends think I’m crazy because I always say I’m never getting married. This is crazy to me.

🗣Pause “Did you love your wife?” YES The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves….he should have said he loved her, but not enough NOT to cheat on her for 5 years. Dear God please don’t ever send me that type of love Amen “you gotta say Amen” 🙄

I hope he can heal from his sickness. He said is wife was easy now the other woman is easy too. Something about this man is Screams RUN!! He started cheating year one but say she didn't fight for you??? She knew he was cheating for 5 years but she didn't sacrifice anything? He hasn't changed at all.

In this whole interview, he contradicts himself over and over. LADIES THIS IS WHY Tony Gaskin always says LISTEN WHEN A MAN TALKS HE WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

This is the most toxic interview I’ve ever watched. Breeny Lee is better than me😭

A vulnérable narcissist at its best acting 🙌

It’s interesting that men like this will continuously point the finger at the women for what was lacking in the relationship. Yet, if the women speaks on what she needs from the man then it turns to “nagging” or “being too emotional”. He treated her like a body with no soul once he couldn’t be pleased sexually. The constant double standards in relationships is what causes the downfall. If his wife cheated in anyway, I doubt he would stick around to work things out.

The setup is so beautiful. Radiating talk show host energy.

Ok so I’m 20 min in and now I understand why sex should be saved for marriage. I have always known it’s a gateway to stuff but hearing this story makes it more realistic. Had he not had sex with that one woman before his marriage, he would not have had those thoughts about her that made him curious when he saw her. Wow. It’s really a trap God be knowing

The reason why she stopped sleeping with him was because he was cheating! Smh he’s nasty

Lord just keep these types away from me 😭 Cause imma be gone girl

Now. Imagine if a woman used the same excuses. “Gtfoh! She for the streets!!!”

Wow... just listened to this dude crying over a heartbreak but we reap what we sow.

A woman has to feel loved, protected, heard and DESIRED in order to build sexual intimacy. How could she open up sexually when clearly his attention was elsewhere in YEAR 1?! It seems like something else was going on with his ex wife and I’d love to hear how SHE felt about him within the marriage. Side note: He said she wouldn’t talk a lot, I bet she just wasn’t talking TO HIM. 😂

I watch Dear Future Wifey Podcast and i do feel like I seen a different side to Laterras in this video but it’s not what everyone may think. I see a man who is still embarrassed by his actions so he makes light of them. I see a man who is still not comfortable with his vulnerability and this was the first time he detailed his affairs. Watching a lot of his own videos he never detailed to this extent what happened and as a viewer I gathered he cheated once based on how he tells the story and not multiple times with multiple women so that was a surprise to me. I think he comes across arrogant because he is still fighting to own what he did and also value who he is now regardless of his past. I think it still bothers him a lot and he is hurt that his ex wife didn’t fight. There is definitely a lack of self worth still there and he hasn’t fully stepped into what God fully says about him. If I didn’t know his story on his platform and watch his videos I would think he was an eff boy still but today I just see a man who is still struggling with the truth and transparency and is still in need of transformation. I believe I heard him say in his videos that he is now celibate. That is the best thing for him to do because he has to gain control of his sexual desires. Finding a woman who desires sex as much as him will just be a bonus to the marriage. But he has to submit his sexuality to God first and gain discipline. He also has to truly own that he has a high desire for sex that stand out of “I’m just a man” his desire is rooted in pain within himself that wants to release. Sex should be a vehicle for love but what happens when something else is in the driver seat of it. I am still rooting for Laterras because he is like a lot of men in the Christian space. Struggling to be in the world but not of it. And struggling to be sexually disciplined and not use marriage as a scape goat to abuse it and your partner. Praying for all the men dealing with his reality and the struggles of being a man for God.

Laterras has a journey he still has to go through before he commits again, in my humble view. I discern a lot of naivety in what he might deem as maturity; especially in what authentic repentance is and the Christian standard that marriage demands. I am an ardent fan of DFW, his podcast, and I will pray that the Holy Spirit continues to reveal to him his blind spots as he goes through this journey of rediscovering love.

I didnt expect him to give these kind of answers, because a lot of it sounded very lustful and almost boasting. Even in a rushed setting you should be able to express your thoughts and experiences in a decent way. Im also wondering why your are constantly talking about what your ex wife did, for you to do these things. In the actions that led to a partnership - Marriage falling apart we must be able to focus on what we could have done better and honestly I didn't hear a lot of that, but more so talking about the sexual act and type of engagement that you want to have. It seems that the ex wife was emotionally distant coming into the marriage because of the disrespect going in before marriage, but agreed to stay, and if she was the one who would pray over you Guys, what was his contribution on that part. It seemed like there was no real foundation to begin with.

This sounds just like my marriage . Currently going through a divorce. I’ll never get married again in my life 😢. The deception and betrayal is the worst thing ever.

Not at all what I expected… but in life just listening and truly hearing what is being said- it will change your life. I’m 23 years old, I don’t know how but God brought Breeny’s content to me in a time where I needed it. Her work was ministering to my spirit… and still does. All I will say is before any of you decides to say anything- negative or otherwise disrespectful- be careful. It’s easy to criticize what you’ve never experienced. It’s not a necessity to agree with everything someone says, does, or believes- in order to learn from them. Anyhow, I’m excited for the next one… there is a lesson in every interview. The renewing of the mind is a powerful thing, and it can change the trajectory of a person’s life.

My take on cheating has always been that it is selfish, emotionally lazy people, who, instead of working on their relationships with their partner or having the decency to walk away before humiliating the other person, decide to lie and break the covenant they pledged to someone else. They unilaterally decide that if they're not getting what they want in a relationship, it's ok to find it elsewhere. Once your moral boundaries are that lax, there will always be an excuse that could be used to cheat. Nobody is perfect. Even if the wife gave him sex whenever he wanted it, the next complaint is that she doesn't perform at the level he wants it. And if she did all the nasty, freaky things he wanted, it will then be, she's too freaky. People who think it's justifiable to cheat will always cheat. There is no such thing as a reformed cheater. It's like eggs. There's no reassembling the eggs from an omelet. This man will go back to his old ways in no time, IMO.

He's such a narc. He hasn't changed, you can tell in his language. He's trying to get Breeny to not see him in a certain way, but that's the reality of him. He deserves toxicity...it's the flavor he serves up wrapped in therapy language. He made his wife close off to him sexually by manipulating her into going against their agreement. Then after he goes to therapy blamed his ex for the frequency??? That whole foundation was destroyed plus cheating was there. She can't even trust you. Without trust you have nothing. I'm glad his ex got free.

He wanted SO BADLY to be chosen. That "pick me" seed was rooted in him deep and early. Sounds like he spent his entire marriage trying to antagonize her into changing into a woman that would make him feel whole. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY; other people can only COMPLEMENT your happiness, and it's sad that he's still having to learn that. I pray he plucks that pick-me thorn and grows 💙 🙏🏿💙

People really need to love themselves first. SMH sleeping around us totally unexpected and there is no excuse for it weather you are single or in a relationship. This is the very reason we can't get a lid on HIV. RIDICULOUS!

Clearly this man was not on his wifes level in terms of being a quality person. He says he loved her but loved other women's 😺 kitty more than he loved her. He says he's real except for those 5 years he slept with other woman and kept it a secret with his wife. He says it was better to sleep with more than one woman so he wouldn't feel so bad about another woman replacing his wife. I MEAN 😆 this is a joke and he really deserves another woman that's on his level that will act and think like him. I'm glad he divorced her, he did her a favor. She deserves alot better!

I can appreciate Laterras’s transparency because it’s part of his healing and the truth will set you free. There’s very few people that would write down details of infidelity and give it to their spouse. His podcasts are so pretty amazing and inspiring. I am always blessed when I watch them and he has helped me look at many things differently. Thank you for sharing this video. God bless 🌸💕

Man I'm trying to watch until the end...I watch his podcast and I am pretty astonished at how he is telling his story of infidelity lol Like it sounds like he's convincing himself that all of this was acceptable. It's A LOT to watch lol

I'm wondering if his wife was ever physically attracted to him. It's so sad because people get married to spouses they were never really attracted to from day one.

Very insightful. Thank you for your vulnerability. Often times we don’t get to see men speak about these things and this conversation is much needed. I hope more men take accountability for their actions & get therapy to heal their brokenness so that they don’t bleed on other people.

I'm so glad I was introduced to the DFW podcast before I watched this because I would have really watched this with a side eye.... I can see that he has been and is definitely going through a lot of transformations for the better.

I have been watching this man's podcast. I didn't realize that he cheated!! Lord help me. It really is a patriarchal society and the woman struggles the most in this system

Who wants to fight for a cheater. His wife was wise but I do appreciate his transparency. I never want to fight for someone who doesn't want me. He even said it would not have made a difference. Glad she did not give up her integrity. I pray she finds an amazing husband.

Who'd wanna be with him if he cheated once he'll do it again

I love the transparency. If more people had these open conversations a lot of relationships would be better.

I feel really bad for his wife 👑 I hope you're happy and be with a man who deserves you

The production! The quality! I can’t wait to watch this one ♥️ These are the open and raw conversations we need to be having.

All I will say is sex in a marriage is very important. Feeling undesired can really break you down and can cause you to seek ‘love’ elsewhere. One of my girls is experiencing that right now and it breaks her down. Not saying what he did was right but you can’t know that your husband is having to masturbate and deal with his needs alone and think the marriage will turn out alright. Again there are two sides to the story… and we all know men love to tell the other woman lies about what their wife isn’t doing at home.

Wasted all of her time… wow. I’m currently in a marriage similar to this. We’ve been married 5 years & trust and believe I’m getting a divorce.

He said something very important when in pain misery loves company so when in pain you seek after pleasure that was a mouth full. And when one heals they are no longer in pain you become one with self. Thank you for this video this was truly amazing my first time coming across your channel and believe it or not I received a powerful word. Again thank you because I'm a single woman who spent several years in a broken marriage long story short today I am 53 single & spiritually Celibate now almost 6 years reason being because it took me through different stages of the healing process before I realized that I was no longer in pain once I began to share my own story with others. Blessings 🙏