Mine came back!! He literally said “I learned your place in my life”, which is something Coach Lee said in one of the videos. He said he learned he can’t and doesn’t want to live without me. I focused on building attraction, not addressing any of the issues (bcs I wasn’t even sure I wanted him back) and noticed him making changes in his behavior that basically solves alllllll the problems we had that caused arguments. Thanks so much Coach Lee!
"The ball is in their court" - This is exactly what I told her when she reached out after 'no contact'. She wants me back but wants me to chase her again. I took away my presence and disappeared, and she started asking friends about me. I won't waste my time on indecisive person. Thanks a lot for this video.
I followed Coach Lee's videos and did no contact for a few months. Then we ended up at the same social event and exchanged a few words. I was cordial and didn't react to his flirtation. After that, we kept in touch every few weeks for a 3-4 more months. After 7 months apart, we've gotten together twice and it's been like there was no break. Except I'm not chasing. I'm not anxious. I'm not asking. I'm back to being the person he was first attracted to (confident, sassy, intriguing and engaged yet not attached) because during the break I worked on myself. I'm creating an open, calm, happy space-- he can step in if he wants to, but it's his choice. He knows the door is open, but ... I may not be home forever.
But you are waiting on him and he knows it. Thats not good. You are waiting until he gets down doing him like you are second best if he decides to choose you. If it goes past 6 months, then he is only coming back for the assets, not you.
@@designhub360customapparel thanks for your insight. I understand what you're saying. He's a wonderful man, we just met at the wrong time. In hindsight, the break was what we both needed to evolve. Meanwhile, I'm traveling, pursuing my hobbies, and doing me. My life isn't on hold. I'm open to him but not pursuing him.
So basically you're just a back up plan for when all else fails and he can't find anyone better so you're leaving your self out there if he wants to settle? Sheesh, I could never lower my value that much. I have too much respect for my self good luck
He nailed it. Society pushing this agenda on people that relationships hold them back is disturbing. It goes against our nature as human beings to be single.
On point! You just talked about her Coach! 😅 Man it really hurts like hell that she bailed out, but I will keep standing on my ground. If she comes back, good. If not, her loss.
Hi Coach Lee. My ex and i havent spoken in 7.5 months. I dont think itll happen. While i still love and miss him i wont reach out to him. He left me and if he wanted to he would have contacted me. Id rather be in pain missing him than reach out and be rejected and seem like im begging. I thank you for helping me realize this and giving me this support in not contacting him no matter how long it is. Im glad you confirmed im doing what is right
@carlasmith3459 I won't. His cruelty of how he walked out allows me to refrain from dialing him. He kept mine and my daughters personal belongings after I asked him to send them back. He never did. He probably discarded them after i gave him the opportunity to get his things. Even though I have that excuse to reach out for my stuff I'd rather buy new things than break no contact. Thank you for reaching out.
Hey everyone! It's been a while since i commented on coach lee's videos To enlighthen others, me and my ex (who is now just my classmate and no not my friend) have been pretty much doing an open-ended conversations for the past 2-3 months but we still help each other out through academics. Meaning, we're slowly rebuilding our new dynamics since me and my ex have moved passed our 2 year relationship history. And yes before this happened, we both had a clean and serious conversation. Because during our breakup. It ended badly, like really bad. Which is why we're taking things slowly from now on since we both have different goals and boundaries. And it's my responsibility to respect and understand that. Time will tell when your ex will eventually come back. As long as you both agreed your perspectives and boundaries. Then chances are your dynamics will be healthy and mature. Just stay no contact and focus on yourself guys, stay strong kings! You got this!
Let's be honest. The hope and small chance of them coming back keeps us going for a while. We go into no contact and we build up this fantasy in our mind about them retuning and things will be great again. But in most cases she never does come back. We need to keep things real. Just use no contact to work on yourself, not wait for something that is very unlikely to happen.
You’re right it’s the hope that keeps us going, but at the same we need to work on ourselves, building ourselves bit by bit, making ourselves more attractive and if or when they reach out who knows we may not even want to go back. But no contact does work, I did 3 months of chasing until I came across these videos, so I gave it a go and 3 weeks later he reached out.
Coach Lee's videos have helped me a lot through my breakup. I had the urge to break No contact multiple times but i held it. He first contacted me after two weeks of NC. He would contact me every two weeks for 2 and half months. Finally, when i returned to the same city he came to meet me and talk about giving our relationship another chance. 2 months later, we're back to the same situation. Going through 2nd round of NC. I'm beginning to wonder if it's even healthy? Do i need constant drama in my life? I've decided to wait till this month and if he hasn't reached out bu then, I'll ask for one last talk. Even though I want to try and make it work, I'm not sacred of losing him anymore. I am okay either way.
Just wanted to say to Coach Lee, you are the best. Most thorough, most thoughtful, most relatable, practical advice I've come across. Thank you so much for giving us the valuable direction and foresight many of us need in our trying, difficult times. Cheers
My ex is a fearful avoidant. The relationship was her stress. Then it was her peace. Then her stress. Back and forth, hot and cold. She broke up with me and told me she needed to take a step back from talking to me. Here goes NC round three 😢
You have to grey rock her, meaning dealing with her in a logical perspective, instead of emotions that comes with it,you have to isolated yourself to the point where,all her tactics is oblivious.
Maybe let her go and move on. Go find someone who doesn't play games and treats you with respect. You're only hurting your self by staying. She sounds like she's doesn't want to committ because she thinks she can do better. Let her find out the hard way.
I swear to God in Heaven. If you want your ex back or even a shot back with your ex, follow everything these two men tell you. I will tell you the short version of my story. My ex fiancé left after 1 1/2 of being engaged. I was treating her badly and just like most guys, I had no idea is treating her so disrespectful. She left I went crazy I did everything I shouldn’t have done. Several weeks later I was told by one of her friends to watch Coach Lee and follow no contact. What she didn’t tell me is if she reached out to me to respond. So she contacted me several times and got no response. After ordering coach lee’s videos and watching them day, night and while I was sleeping. I followed everything I was taught. I’m not sure if we will get married and be together forever but I at least have another shot that I owe to coach lee and his wonderful team.
I am still a notif and liker squad, Coach Lee. It’s been awhile. I miss you and all your knowledge. Life has been tough lately, and kinda busy with work. But I don’t forget you. Watching here all the way from PH PHILIPPINES 🇵🇭
My wife walked out 3 months ago and I blocked her on social media because I didn’t want to see reminders. She hasn’t reached out and I feel like I’m in no man’s land in NC.
Ik they are under the influence. I told him I was not seeking a relationship cuz I’m still healing from us. His response ,”me to. “ ran into him at a mutual friends after 28 days no contact. I’m confused he in rebound using doesn’t speak to me. Doing what you say coach lee, i feel he may never remember the good days we had lots. I got butterflies knowing I was going to see him until 2017 when we moved home. We both lost attraction but I truly love this man w all my being. I purchased the emergency kit , I listen to all of them over and over. Thank you for your help.
Coach Lee came in my life in 2020 after a breakup, he dumped me. Although hurtful, I accepted it gracefully. I desire reconciliation and can accept if it doesn't happen. Been so busy focused on myself.
Sabrina as of today no. No shame here being honest. I am a Christian and I believe whole hearted based on many scriptures on faith, trust, obedience in God that his time is perfect and I can even accept may not return. Romans 8:28 supports this. If reconciliation does not occur it's good. The no of God is just as important as the yes. The more I reflect during no contact this is has been good for us both. I have grown so much personally, mine is a prideful, ego and even stubborn. I could say much, however as Dr. Lee said the ball is in in his hand. Let's see what happens in 2024, Happy New Year, ❤🎉
I have watched many of my friends try to reconcile, even went and married someone out of desperation and now have ruined there lives. Trust God girl, wait patiently, be diligent and work on yourself. God may send another one, say a prayer for me. Women please don't pursue. That's not God's divine order.
It’s been almost 4 years since my ex and I broke up. I don’t even think about her anymore. She still has my spare keys too and she never got back into contact with me to bring them to me. I’ve been in no contact with her like heavy. She broke up with me, not the other way around. My life has changed so much, I’ve changed so much…honestly she and I would be super incompatible right now. I hope she’s good but my life is changing for the better. I’ve endured alot of pain that life has thrown my way but now that pain is slowly turning into blessings. I thank my ex for the man that I am today.
the thing is that nowadays one can be so busy with self improvement (like myself), that hanging around with someone instead of focusing on your goals and solitude will feel like someone is holding you back. best thing is not to fall in love and just have a few hookups here and there. you won’t have to deal with the headache, meet their families or friends (because you wouldn’t want them around if it wasn’t for your ex anyway), and just focus on earning more money and staying fit.
Visited my ex yesterday to return and get back some stuff (she ended things). Offered to leave it at the door but she wasn't home at the time and mentioned that she didn't mind coming to mine or vice versa. Said I don't mind going to yours to drop it off and to see her in the process. Go over and end up getting invited in. Talked for around an hour but more so as a catching up process and even offered to leave her to her homework which she insisted was okay and that she doesn't need to do it right now. Towards the end she ended up walking me out and trying to give a gift that I never got from our 1 year anniversary. I declined saying that "its okay, give it someone else" which bothered her. Went our separate ways to which I later called saying how I wasn't trying to be disrespectful but it didn't feel right to accept a gift after a breakup to which she was understanding of. She said that she treated our "hang out" as more of a catching up and that it has been hard not to have the routine of having me in her life anymore. Also mentioned that she has certain urges or normalities she couldn't act on like being touchy, intimate, etc because of the breakup. Re affirmed my stance on how I don't have interest in friendship and that the only way I see her is through a relationship aspect or something sexual. Thoughts on this approach? Thanks!
travel6482, Hi, I read your comment and when I read "friend," I don't believe that it will be more than that. I'm sorry to say that being FRIENDS after a love affair does not work. It's much too painful. I'm sure you'll find someone new in TIME. Don't rebound! Take your time and have some fun Hug for you..❤ I'm giving you my opinion only. If the love is gone, for one party, friendship doesn't work. 💕
It was his first relationship and he gave a ton of reason for breaking up but none of them made sense. 3,5 years from one to another day gone. We were texting like “miss you♥️♥️♥️” to “I am concerned about our future…”. We had a strong bond but he seems to be depressive and late diagnosed with adhd
Man I’m going through a lot. My ex gf left at the end of July. She just fell off the map. We moved to UTAH together and she left went back to her moms. We do share a child and it’s pretty much been silent because I’m doing no contact. I think she’s moved on already:/
It’s a tough situation. We moved out to UTAH and then she left and went to her moms in CA. With me starting my career out here it difficult for me to have the time to go out there. Not only that I’m not over the whole situation. I’m still very weak over it. I’m not ready to find out she’s with someone else. He’s turning 1 years old in a few days. I basically just feel like if I’m reaching out to see how he’s doing and getting updates it’s just an excuse to reach out to her. I know he’s fine because if somethings happened I’m sure she would tell me. We never had closure and she told me she was coming back and she still loves me but I’m 100% that’s not the truth. I’ve done a lot of research and I’m 99% sure she is a narcissist.
Dear Coach, my ex broke up with me and reached out after 3 days, although I told her I did not want us to stay in contact because it would be healthier. She sent me some irrelevant info, about the flat she lives in. She was texting for three days with some irrelevant stuff and asking about the event we were going to take part in the following week. Firstly I answered politely but at the end a bit harshly. She stopped and after six days we met in person during the event which took 3 days, I talked to her casually and politely, I was making some jokes. Then she asked me by text if I am going to a pub with our group of friends (we both are in the same folk enseble). The next day we went, there were some girls, she seemed a bit jealous when I talked to her and said they were cute. She writes or sends me something almost everyday, not much but still. She said she will probably take part in singing workshops I am signed to. I do not reach out first but I answer politely when she writes. What can I do? She's got a pattern to make her exes friends. I don't want that to happen. Should I tell her to stop and go full no contact?
maciej, If her pattern is to remain friends with her ex's, stay away from her bcse obviously she's doing the SAME thing with you. You can definitely go NO Contact with her and I personally would avoid/ ignore her. Best of luck!!
I agree, and if you was to get really serious with this girl, you know maybe like marriage level, would you be ok knowing she’s still friends with all her exes?
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you very much for the response. She's an avoidant, and pulls away when things start to become more serious, she's aware of that and is thinking about the therapy. I will try to do as you say!
He says he broke up with me because his mother has had mental health issues for years, she gets overly emotional and then becomes verbally abusive toward his dad, makes up lies, etc., and I believe she is also showing signs of dementia, she is in and out of hospital and they adjust her medications. He is afraid I will become like his mother and he does not want to go through the struggles, stress and hurts he sees his father going through. A few times in the past I have become triggered and gotten emotional when we are talking about our relationship (maybe 4 times in 3 years) and yes, I cry when I am emotional, but I don't raise my voice, or act out. He hates when I cry because his mother cries all the time. He is very emotional avoidant. He used to say I was his peace, now he says he just wants peace. Post break up I realized I have an anxious attachment style and am in therapy working on my past trauma attachments and learning new responses etc. The break up wasn't angry, no hard feelings and when he broke it off I was calm and didn't even cry. My issues with insecurity & low self-esteem/anxious attachment is NOT the same as his mother's mental health issues but I don't believe he understands that. He admits life is better with me but that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship, any relationship. He wants to still be friends and go camping together, on trips and adventures etc. (I said I don't think I can be just friends). I have been in NC for 7 weeks, every so often he sends me a text like gas discount coupon, an article about a mutual interest, I respond with a polite "thank you" nothing more. As you advised, I am NOT giving him the custom Christmas gifts of photo book from our trip and custom belt. A friend told me he still has all our photos up around his house. We were planning to get married and both have lots of our belonging at each others house. My big worry is do you think he can ever get his mind past the fear that I will become like his mother mentally unstable? Otherwise I have serious doubts he will considering getting back together even though he wants to and may miss being together. Any suggestions @CoachLee
Honestly, it's gut wrenching at the moment as only been spit for 6 weeks and she cancelled the wedding But, after seeing she has all the jewellery For Sale that i bought her and the Wedding dress, over $6000 worth and only asking $1100 I DON'T WANT HER BACK
russelicely3670 Russ, first of all, I am so sorry that happened to you. Did you save the receipts for all the jewelry? If you did, you can sue her if she already sold it. Either way, contact the Social Services in your State, and contact the Legal Department. It is FREE...Tell them what she sold. Hopefully you have the receipts. If not, they can still help you. Call them ASAP, Monday -Friday. Good luck to you, and God Bless you..❤❤
I’m still listening, but why does it seem like people think life is career and relationships, or careers or relationships. Some people aim for self actualization through their art, community service, or anything else. It’s strange to me. I’ve never thought relationship OR work and I’m considered “successful.” Sometimes you need to break up with a person just because their personality/values suck or don’t align
istudyyou2130, YIKES! She comes back and tells you to Go to hell? I don't know about you, but to me, that is disrespectful and it sounds like she doesn't really care. Unless, she's telling you that in fun. If she's serious, I would think about the relationship.
It was her family that caused the stress. So, there was a lot of stress, but nothing that we brought up. I stayed for almost two years, we did therapy for a year, but nothing changed, she kept risking our relationship to please her family, so I left. Any chance she could realize that the love & care I gave her was worth the effort and try to come back? Last time we talked I told her I'm done fixing things and the ball was in her corner. It's been almost 7 months since we talked last. I left, but she caused it by not prioritizing our relationship. Do you think she'll have a wake up call?
At this point, after 7 months, she is less likely to have a wake up call. What will likely to cause her to have a wakeup call is if other guys in the future have the same issue and she realizes her family is the problem. I say this as a guy who lost the girl he was with for 9 years, but it wasn't until a few really bad relationships in the years after that I realized how good I had it with her and what I lost. So don't worry, if you're a good guy, she'll eventually regret it, even if she doesn't come back.
Just wen thru the samething it's been a week since we talked. Her dad accused me of hitting her at the family table idk why her sister was all smiles but was telling her behind my bck she should leave me if we arguing and her mom just never liked me cuz I was the 1st man to come around since her husband passed away. Mind u she had 2 lil ones. But I was always wrong for saying something or confronting her about the stuff they used to say. Last week she just text me her kids and family come 1st so I should stop calling or texting her. I walked away and never looked bck. All this after 2 years smh never again single moms
Hi Coach Lee, 1stly Thanks a lot, whenever I felt pressurized all of your videos helped me stay calm. 1 req, kindly make videos on relationship issues and how to deal with them, when there's still relationship. Like how to deal with attraction fall, Trust issues and so on...
me and my ex broke up almost a year ago (december 2nd) he reached out a few times but i thought he only wanted to be friends so we only talked for a second. in august he reached out again but i finally stopped holding a grudge and decided i am fine with talking to him..secretly i wanted to get back together. he asked if we could be friends and i immediately panicked. i overthought it and i told him i cant "just be friends." then he said that he wants to be more than friends at some point. i said i was open to it and we were in a talking stage until we both realized that i cant give him what he needs (physical touch) he lives 40 mins away but i cant see him because of my family. i can give him what he needs in 1 year and 6 months. im afraid he wont wait for me but he has said before that he will.. im just not sure if he'll keep his promise. i know deep down this man is worth it but i am terrified he'll find another girl.
Hey coach i have not seen video yet but i just want to thank you before even starting this video...i have watched mostly all your no contact video on loop, specially encouragement during no contact ❤ I'm so grateful to you for helping me to stay in no contact. And i have made it to exactly 2 months now❤ thank you so much ❤coach lee
She left me on our anniversary, we had an argument a week before and she just started talking to me less and less. Ghosted me after refusing to see me on such a special day then 2 weeks later i asked whats happening why am i being ghosted etc and I got dumped, she removed me as a friend on everything im still devastated a month later.Since she didnt want to see me on our anniversary I sent her the gift and love note and she just wont respond to anything. Im still in pieces. Shes gone for Good isn't she ? Day 2 on true no contact, i dont even know at what date she decided to abandon me but its been a month since we saw each other and i still cry daily.
No contact *does* work with women. It works very well. I have seen it work thousands of times. Remember, your experience doesn’t necessarily represent the true reality. I have found that men aren’t as good at gauging how interested in them a woman really is so there are men out there who were dating a woman who wasn’t as into them as they thought and so their odds of no contact working were less to begin with. I have an article on ghosting at myexbackcoach.com/what-to-do-when-you-are-ghosted/
I broke no contact after 2 and a half months,got tired of waiting and thinking about them.And I told them I waited for them too, doesn't matter anymore.I can't wait for someone longer than that
It does matter, during that waiting time you need to work on yourself too. Telling them that you’ve been waiting isn’t going make them feel the loss, as it lets them know you’re there if they ever want you again. No contact does work, for both yourself and your relationship.
Amazing video again bro. Thank you. Answered alot of questions that i had recently been thinking about....almost like a sign from the universe. Would you be able to do a video on the benefits of them having been with someone else. Cause i know thats something alot of people struggle with?
He came back on day 40 but i didnt properly prepare for it by standing by my standards and life goals so i became upset and pushed him away after meeting because i wasnt getting my needs met. I am better prepared next time to not get so close until he gives me what i need first.
Don’t know if my ex wants me or not but at the moment he has no intention of coming back as he moved away to another province. No point in pursuing a relationship when someone has made up their mind with such vigor, the NC didn’t even fizz on him as he’s focused on himself. The good thing is I have closure and will not dwell on the past. I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I’m moving on.
I wish I could read her mind. Shes hovering me ever since we broke up, now copying my healthy lifestyle, being anxious, happy seeing me at work, but then pulls away. How can one channel so many positive signs, but pull away?
Hi Coach, what if as the woman I broke up with him because he broke promises, let me down and did some very negligent things whilst we were still together? Its absolutely not because I stopped loving him or simply just wanted to go out there and explore my "options". Leaving the relationship was very difficult and not a decision I took lightly. Now we are back in contact 5 months later and he told me he misses me and still loves me... Are you still saying my expectations that he should be the one to try to make things right is misplaced? The dumper is not always the guilty one, sometimes they were left with no other choice at the time and are experiencing profound grief.
Give him space to figure himself out. Try not to address every issue that comes up. Appreciate the things you love and tell him. "Maybe instead of asking God to change my spouse, I should ask God to change my heart towards them" I made that mistake. He gave me another chance, but I kept pushing him to change things. The biggest killer was not following through on what he says. I always got upset, but in hindsight when does anyone do 100% of the things they say they will. He dumped me last week saying he was holding me back. I know I am in the wrong for trying to change so much of him instead of loving what I had.
@helenan866 yes, however things like substance dependency or addiction aren't issues that can be negotiated or worked through. They either get better or they don't. If you are still a young woman and desire marriage and family I think expecting change for a healthy future is justified. Otherwise the relationship will be a one track path to chaos and heartache. I'm not sure what you were trying to change about your man but if he felt he was holding you back he may have been right... sometimes guys can see the truth before we can. We as women continue holding onto hope that things will get better... but they are already showing us who they are. You get to decide if its working for you or not
@@nicoleevaherbst7306 you're right, we are very young. It was a girls mature faster than guys kind of this to be honest . Thank you for your encouragement
I wish Coach Lee was my "ex" lol, but I think if that were the case, he wouldn't have been my ex in the first place haha. He'd have been more responsible with my feelings and more MATURED! Less prideful and arrogant!
Also, as I watch till the end, I just want to say that I also think it depends on the person all together. Everyone is an individual unfortunately or fortunately. Thing is, I had this one ex-fiance, the last serious one before this one, HE came back after about a month apart during our first break up! And yet THAT one was more toxic and dramatic/tumultous (at least both physically and psychologically) than this other one, yet, somehow He and I always made it back to each other. Though, I think that may just be because of addiction to each other /attatchment. Especially since I slept with that one, but not this last one. Sorry, a little TMI, but I had to explain.
Please please Coach Lee - base this on a spouse. My husband won’t come home after 14 months separated. Though he says it’s because of conflict, I believe it’s more because of perceived freedom, peace and another person involved as needed. Even though he loved me so much and may have lost belief in our relationship I still think it’s because this other person is easy and a distraction and there is no baggage there. I have tried everything including your free marriage course. We have two kids who want their dad back at home and not go from place to place 😢. It’s getting scary. I don’t want a divorce. Thank you
Get the divorce, the man is not interested and as long as you chase he’ll run as a man imma tell you from my perspective because I don’t know him but if I got separated and everything, just being honest I’d probably be off doing my own thing get the divorce save yourself the hassel
My ex has id say "broken up" with me 3 times and kinda 4th. After my third time i kinda thought that this time is kinda finalized, i stayed in NC for about 2 weeks, then she reached out and contacted me. We talked and everything, long story short she wanted to meet me. Then she said that she wanted to work on us and take things slowly, and we did and everything was going pretty swimmingly i must say. All of a sudden i get a call about 2 weeks later saying that she dosent know what she wants (again). Because the thing is that she has been like this before and always seems somewhat confused on what she wants. And the pattern ive noticed with her, is that every time somethings happening in her life, she always seems to react by "breaking up" any chance that she comes back Coach Lee? Because this has happened before, and the thing is that i dont know if i believe her. Any chance she comes back?
Will being afraid of "embarrassment" by being a couple again stop the dumper from coming back? Like if my ex came back but is embarrassed to face my parents because they know he broke my heart? I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I want to know if that also affects dumpers from coming back.
KirboTurbo18, I personally would not be embarrassed to face your parents. I'm sure they understand since they were young once too. Neither one of you should be embarrassed. ❤
Great take. Hey btw, have you done an episode about ex’s with mental health issues and tend to get mad over what typical misunderstandings that a person without mental health issues would not be very mad nor take to the heart. Also once mad they leave for 2 or more weeks, block their ex or at least just unfriend them but still stalk your page and can tell you more about your page than you know of 😅 and then later they argue their way back in by accusing the other person of seemingly seeing someone or being happy without them or just any other reason to talk even if they return peacefully. And then as soon as they get mad again they leave and wants you to chase. About a month ago I asked my ex (she’s 26 I’m 40. First time dating this young) to be a job reference and she said “sure, but remember I am trying to move on…” this was after she got mad and went off on me that morning after having a great two days all because she went into her mode of still being upset that I like some girl pictures on social media the she deemed sexy 5 months ago and kept asking me “How am I suppose to trust you!!” and this was while I’m driving on my way to work and I called her to tell her the tech event I was working is gonna be all day but so I may not be able to talk much. We started to argue because this is an ongoing thing and I told her I must’ve damaged her and she should be with someone who she can start clean with and be happy. She mumbled in a one word way as if she knew she was wrong and later she apologized. We were back cool and talked on my lunch and later the event had a big hip hop concert and I’ve never seen those legendary artist in person. I posted it on social media with my co-worker who’s a woman and a guy with met and I couldn’t hear my phone. When I later looked at it she was going off again “I don’t even know why I’m texting you and blah blah blah. I chose not to respond. Later she called me and I answered and she was saying she’s happy for me but goodbye. I asked why and she said I obviously don’t want her in my life and that she also said she needed me because she was feeling down. I told her I never said that and that she’s doing that her self. She just would not believe me. So I got tired of chasing and said ok then and we got off the phone. Two weeks later I texted her happy birthday and I hope she enjoys it and she said Thank You but didn’t Like or Love my text. Later that night my dad text her the same thing and she said thank you but she Liked his comment. So obviously she’s mad at me. This is all over me liking pictures in the past and I yelled “Well what you you want me to do???” In five different occasions after saying I’m sorry for 45 minutes to an hour and she just keeps going on. She gets “triggered (new meaning trendy word)” when anyone yells because of her past with certain people. I didn’t mean to do it and I stopped months ago but she still holds me to it and keeps saying I expect her to just get over it when I never said that. I told her we have to grow from it and it won’t be overnight. So my ultimate question is when she said “just fyi, I am trying to move on” does that mean she already started seeing someone? Because this is the same girl who always accused me of it and even without me asking if she is she would make it a point to say she don’t want anyone nor a relationship and if she does she wants it with me but want to work on herself. At the same time she talks to me like we’re together until she gets made again. Sorry for the long comment haha. I just need to know the deal. Thank you for listening.
Don't say that. He might. It may take some time. Just continue to focus on yourself for now. I was with a DA for 4 years and reached out. It took him four months, but he did. But by then, I was no longer interested.
I think if you were broken up with because they wronged you i.e. you cheated or lied or disrespected them, i disagree that the dumper should try and get them back.
Ceep211, if someone cheated/lied to me, or both, they would be GONE! Yes, I would dump them. If they apologized to you for cheating and/or lying, that's completely up to you if you want to forgive them. I personally (my own opinion) would never trust them again!! Everyone is different, follow your GUT feeling.
She ain’t coming back. Although she did reach out after a year. Her life was falling apart. Friend of hers was dying. She thought that I should know. Nothing from her for over a year. Then that happened. She hasn’t reached out since.
briteidea08, if I were you, I would move on. It sounds like she wasn't being honest with you about afriend dying bcse she would have leaned on you for emotional support. I would have. I've been thru it myself. Let her go! A year is a long time with no word. Take care of YOU. I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which is excellent. myexbackcoach.com/ebk Best of luck to you ❤
@@jannlewandowski5540 When she reached out. I was on a road trip with a new woman. Someone who has definitely been open with me. Met her in an organic setting. So far it’s been great. Just had to stop looking back. But my ex was being truthful about her friend passing. When I got home. I definitely looked into her story. Finally replied after getting some sleep.
What about if your ex is struggling with mental health and serious life problems and that's why they dumped you? Could they come back when things get better for them?
clawry0, If they can seek some professional help, and possibly put on proper medication, yes, they can get much better. I personally have seen it happen. Best of luck to you.
My Girl Left me for career and is since 2,5 years in another country. We had a bad breakup. I tried to speak to her, but no chance. She dont want any contact, and had a difficult time. But. She is often looking my Stories from her second account… Never interacts but it seems she wants to see me she is looking….Go figure
Sexyguy, SHE sounds like she's just curious as to what you're doing. 2.5 yrs is a long time, so I would just move on. Let her check your social media all she wants! Good luck to you.
My ex has been saying to me she loves me , trusts me and knows I’m loyal but went back to her ex and wants to remain friends , literally no idea what think because she keeps telling me she still loves me
godltjamie1988, If she LOVED you, she would be with you, but she's seeing another guy! Forget her. Don't let her use you. You can find someone much better. ❤
My ex after 28days did send me a text via messenger but I had notifications turned off so I didn't noticed. When I noticed there was msg from her it was already deleted. That's a bait to break no contact right? That was first reach out from her. I ignored it coś that looks to me like a breadcrumb and bait to break no contact. We broken up after serious argument. What do you all think?
This is my second time going through no contact. Only this time we moved in together. He won’t be home for a month and half because of work. If I still want to work things out one day, do I leave some things or take everything with me (it’s almost all mine minus the big stuff I’d split). I am at loss and I truly think it didn’t work out the first time we got back because it was too soon. Even if he does want to work on things, I’m thinking it could be best I still don’t stay there for a few months and be on my own. Seeking advice and hoping maybe others have seen NC work twice in a relationship.
After 3 months of using the No Contact rule, my ex-girlfriend, who dumped me, requested to follow me on my Instagram account. I followed everything that Coach Lee said, and IT REALLY WORKS! Right now, I am undecided about whether I should accept her back into my life or not. I think I need to take things slowly and not jump to conclusions. At the moment, I don't know what to do, but I want her back in my life, although I believe it might not be the right time. What should I do? Thank you for always being there, Coach Lee.
I'm confused...LOL...He broke up with me....came back in 6 months....(10 yr relatonship) and I THINK now I broke up with him because I told him not to call me & I would not send anymore crazy texts or phone calls, I said both of us....no happy holiday bullshit...Period...he told me to F*CK OFF and we hung up....I think he said that because he was so frustrated he didn't know what to say.
user-dtyh3xm5k. If he did that, it tells me he lost attraction for you and/or has someone new. I heard so many cases like this. I would definitely go NO Contact with him, and don't let anyone treat you like that. Show him that you don't need him. I'm sorry to hear that. Take care. ❤
During 1 month of no contact, my ex suddenly unfriend me on facebook, and deleted me on instagram. I feel weird as why do they need to do that as i don't even post at facebook nor contact them at all. Does that mean there's no hope in getting back together, as her actions look like she want to move on 😢
colorfood7777, if she stopped being a friend on fb, and deleted you on Instagram, I believe you answered your own question. If someone did that to me, I would definitely think that they found someone new. I am so sorry that happened to you. ❤ I'm sure you'll meet someone nice, who DESERVES you. My personal opinion is that everyone deserves an explanation! ❤
Hey Coach - I found out through friends that no contact is helping my ex not think about me, despite your videos. We recently ended up going for a walk and talked for a few hours after about 1 month of no contact, and now she misses me a lot - but she wants to go back to not talking to so that she could keep me out if her mind. I really trust you, but this is not adding up.
She's testing you let her approach you and don't chase . Focus on becoming more attractive. if you just wait on her and be easy to get your done .just my opinion
@@cole8753 We are meeting on Sunday (we are switching the dog every two weeks) and we discussed last week at our walk that we could start talking again/taking walks with the dog again if we’re feeling fine after this meeting. We agreed to discuss it at the Sunday dog handover. I am 100% certain she’ll say no to all that, as she was obviously not fine after our walk last week. Should I: 1/ Pre-empt it, and say I’m not ready for all that before she gets the chance to say it? To make myself seem unavailable. 2/ Act casual when she says no, so that the ball will be in her court when she wants to hang out again?
You should avoid going for walks with her and the dog altogether. If you’re gonna be passing the dog every two weeks only do that, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you think she won’t miss you realise your own value and believe that your role in the relationship is something someone would miss.
@@fletch944I think you should do #2. Cause if you actually do want to be with her but go with #1, she could think you're not actually interested anymore and that she should move on, especially since it seems like she's confused at the moment
He obviously felt that in the moment, but he also told you that he loved you and maybe even that he would never leave. So feelings change and evolve. Leave him alone and see how it works on him.
@@RealCoachLee I did leave him alone it’s been almost a week. The thing that’s worrying me is that he’s stubborn and even he knows that. Btw i was just praying when I got your reply, so maybe it’s a sign.
She text me back after 2 weeks but blame me for it by sending a song which blames everything on me. I didn't reply, i replied the next day casually and polite, She wish me again on Christmas and new year Im giving up now
Hello, coach Lee The reason my ex boyfriend of 6 months not reaching out to me. He, not dating anyone, he thinks he need no one and has me blocked for 2 months. What the chance of him changing his mind?, we aren’t in contact, I don’t stalk him or bombard him I don’t go where he go.
Leaving together for 22 years he’s in a rebound relationship it crushed me we were supposed be working on ourselves, but we were separated him and her are doing drugs. I think you and your contact for 30 days I guess I should just let it run its course and keep keep on do you think you’ll ever snap out of it and come back?
Coach lee i maintained no contract for 14days today she messaged me saying `how are you able to move on so easily?‘ and suddenly she became angry and cursed me I was polite though out the conversation, she even said that she will find a better man and will let me know what should I do now ? Help me It’s been 1 and a half month of break up
Maintain courtesy. She expected you to suffer and beg but no contact is showing her you value yourself and if she doesn’t want to be with you than you respect that and know that someone who won’t break up with you. Won’t disrespect you and will value you will come around. Don’t apologize, don’t explain. Breaking up was their choice. They need space away from you to realize it was their mistake and if they want you they need to contact you wish a “I made a mistake and I want to get back together and go about things differently “, not cursing you because they broke up with you and you’re not chasing or begging. You’re showing self respect
Sounds like she has big time character flaws. She dumps you and then is mad because you don’t chase her. Then she says she will tell you when she gets a new man? Brother, trust me, she is going to make someone’s life miserable. It shouldn’t be yours.
My ex of seven months broke no contract to say happy birthday. I asked him why he texted. He says he wants to be civil. He says it was an extremely difficult decision, and he's still broken hearted and grieving the loss. But is making no effort to get back. What should I do?? We were together eight wonderful years.
my ex is just continuing to hold a grudge against me it's been three years and he's still in he's new relationship 3 years later so ooh well i tried to make peace last year I'm done good luck to him
I don't know about that he's still saying negative thing's about me to a mutual friend of ours the only reason I miss him is because of friendship we had before the relationship which was for years before dating but I'm sure you knew that there's way too much assuming in this world not enough asking 🤦♀️also you really shouldn't use the word move on because i can assure it's a trigger for alot of people i have a partner also it may not work out however I definitely won't be contacting my ex at that point it's been a year since I have tried to contact to make peace and that's how it's going to stay.
I have problem so i found today that my ex is starting to date but not in relationship yet but i texted them about dating did i lost or there is still hope?
wayseeker_2h if she's in a relationship with someone else, don't be calling her or pleading with her . If she's dating someone else, go NO CONTACT with her. Good luck to you.
Coach ,I posted some pictures me out in the city, last time she saw me I was over weight, I lost 30lbs. I was dressed nice and all that on the pics. A day later after I posted, she deactivated her Instagram. Am I reading into things??? Does it mean anything????
Coach help my ex didn't told me her new location after we decided to gave space with each other. I thought she will fix our problem as she says. I didn't feel any improvement and i feel less value😢. BTW we broke up because she cheated on me but still gave her a chance as she said she wants another chance. I'm confused now😢
krillx8227, I wonder why she wouldn't give you her new location? If I went no contact with my partner, I would definitely make sure I knew how to reach him in case of emergency. It's NOT fair. You also said she "cheated" on you..My opinion only, and I would not take her back. She would probably cheat on you again. You can do so much better. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.❤
I’m confused coach. i ex asked if we just stayed friends and she do things that’s so confusing as in being hot and cold so i watch your video and you recommend to stay in NC but i watched another video of yours that said you shouldn’t accept the friend zone and act flirty towards then
@@jannlewandowski5540 I’m just so confused on what to do. when they reach out i know i shouldn’t ignore them because i do wanna get back with them. She sometimes text me and call me but it’s not about fixing things. idk if i should answer or even respond to her messages
@yousmellwhat23 When you respond to her, keep it casual and friendly. The ball is in HER court, so don't plead with her about dating. Just be friendly. Remember what I said before, you can't be just friends if you have feelings for her. Best of luck!
Ericgodisgood, If she has a boyfriend, I would not want her back. I don't know the entire story, but if my ex found someone new, I wouldn't take him back. This is my opinion only. Good luck to you.
I heard that they tried to contact them but I don't know when that was. I tried to contact her myself via Facebook but said don't respond. Do you know what else I can do?
My Situation is: My ex wanted a break to think about our relationship. She goes to her parents and stay there. After 1-2 month i couldnt wait anymore and i broke up with her, but in a friendly way. One day later i regret it and write it to her and i apologized so much but she was angry and sad. I begged the first 1-2 month very much and told her everything will be different etc. now im in nc for about 1-2 month with her and i dont know what to do. 3 weeks ago she puts storys online with songs where the singer sings about missing someone and things like that. Should i reach out to her? Becouse i was the one who breaks up but she was the one who goes first.
don4717, Since you broke up with her, you must make contact with her. Even though she only asked for a "break" from you before. You must make contact with her. Good luck to you.
@@jannlewandowski5540 i did After i broke up but she doesnt want to take it back becouse she was angry and sad.. i begged but than i started no contact. Should i reach out? And what Should i write? Thank you for your help
I accidentally bumped into my ex today at the mall after 3months of no contact added with 3 months of radio silence. We only talked very little. She's incredibly shy, but she approached me because I didn't see her. I asked her how she was and what she's been up to. She gave short answers all while smiling and giggling. She looked real happy to see me, but i felt uncomfortable. I don't know if i handled that properly. I told her to have a good day and I went home, then got upset at myself because I forgot to ask her about my sweater she's been keeping this entire time. Anything I should do after all of that? Or did I do that right?
profess, You did just fine! Everyone gets "butterflies" when they meet after so long. If you really need your sweater, call her and tell her to send it to you. Good luck to you!
@@jannlewandowski5540 I appreciate the response, I'm just confused wether no contact/radio silence has been working for this situation. She looked as if she was unphased by it. She seemed really happy at her new job and classes she told me about, all while never bothering to text or call during our separation. She didn't even ask what I've been up to or how I've been, just standing there smiling. The only thing she has done is be the first to watch my stories during no contact and keep my sweater that she wore all the time.
@@professor0reo700Did you leave her, or did she dump you? I ask bcse whoever did the dumping has to be the one to contact the other. The fact that she's happy about all she's doing, is a good sign. To make sure you are being "cool" about the breakup, like I said before, call her and tell her you want your sweater back. While you're on the phone, start a conversation with her. This way, you won't be confused. Good luck!
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you again for the response. She did the breaking up, but for reasons unknown to everyone but her. I'll consider talking to her about my sweater sometime later after I get my head cleared. I have friends coming over to visit and a test I need to be studying for, so maybe after all of these things that require my attention pass, I'll see how I feel.
Does no contact work if I told her to move on? She did end the relationship but than reached out and still wanted to “keep me around”. We still hung out at times and talked on the phone a lot. We were still intimate at times but I just got tired of talking on the phone and not being in a committed relationship. One night I just told her that I wanted to move on and she should too. I told her I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t making her happy. I have not heard from her since and it’s been almost a month. I told her that because I was getting fed up with the hot and cold and basically being friend zoned but I still love her and miss her. Do you think she might reach out even though I told her to move on?
I've been doing no contact for 2 months (except for 1-1 conversation here and there about our shared dog). There were no issues (she just lost feelings) and we were together for 5 years. She keeps telling people that although she misses me sometimes, she is very sure about the breakup. Should I give up?
Update? My ex bf broke up with me after 4,5 years of being together. He said he gtadually lost feelings. It's been 2 months since then. I don't think he will come back but I still have hope because we had a beautiful relationship and went through so much.. I know I should give up and move on but I can't do it yet..