Why Is My Ex Silent? 

One minute I'm fine and the next I feel like I got punched in the gut.

My kings and Queens, don't stalk your exes profiles, shit's gonna hurt

Honestly I wonder how many people would be stalking their ex, Suicidal or on depressive meds if not for this man. I think Coach Lee saves a lot of lives

Don't let someone tell you twice they don't want you

Im tired with the never ending cycle of okay and not okay.

The main thing to remember is that we cannot read their minds. We may be feeling like it is hopeless and that they are extremely happy, whilst in reality they may be minutes away from breaking and reaching out

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT IS GONE!”

To everyone suffering in silence, stay strong. I have been suffering for days, only finding comfort in Coach Lee’s video and a few others. Today, listening to this video, I’m struck by the realization that I’m not so sure I even want him to return. I have accepted the rejection, I have accepted his retreat. I embraced the grief and cried as much as I needed to. I allowed myself to feel all of my love for him and all of the pain of my heartbreak. Today, my chest feels lighter. I am more clear headed. I feel twinges of happiness and excitement for my future and the unknown. If you are not for them, that merely means you are for someone else! Good luck to all ❤️

Give them something only you can give, your absence

It’s sooo hard to date during this time with social media. People don’t Appreciate what they have until it’s gone. and it’s so easy for them to find someone else online.

It'll never cease to amaze me how easily some people can ruthlessly remove someone who loves them from their lives.

68 days now of NC. Some days are easier, some are really bad. It helps to know that I'm not alone in this and that there are other people who have had it worse but turned out completely okay and healed after. Gotta be strong! 🙏🏼

It's really sad, how a person who you loved so much can turn out to be such cruel monster. I swear it really hurts, May God make them feel that same amount of pain they have caused the person who had loved them so much.

Don't feed an ego when you can upgrade

I thought my father’s death would be the largest grief I would ever have to deal with! Losing the love of my life is killing me. I’m good one day and crawling on the floor the next! I pray I get through this intact 🙏🙏

This man has literally done more for humanity than most noble prize winners, and I am actually not joking. Awesome Coach Lee

Remember eveyone who is going through the breakup issues , trust the universe ,trust the god. You attract wot you are. Just imagine yourself being with him at the moment everyday morning as if its happening now and then let it go and put all u r trust in the universe. They will come back. If u r negtive then u will attract negative things. Everythin will be fine . Breathe in and out and dont worry about anything and focus on yourself

If your ex gf starts seeing someone else , just take that loss, learn from it and move on . If they go to someone its because theyre filling a void of insecurity and that shows lack of respect of the relationship

Day 26 of NC. Just when I’m teetering on the edge of despair, I click on Coach Lee to bring me back to some semblance of sanity. Coach Lee you are a gift to all man and woman kind🙏❤️

Damn, bittersweet. These videos bring nostalgia to me. A year ago, I was crying with a pit in my stomach from being so hurt from him ending it with me. It took me 6 months until I started feeling like me again. And now I'm here today and I feel absolutely nothing for him, while I'm with my new partner who is amazing. Wow how life changes.

focusing on a goal helps you get over a break up, for me its fitness right now

“Don’t feed their egos!!!! 💯

No contact works guysss.I am now back with my Ex after three months of no contact.I have learned a lot and found myself during that time .Mr Lee help me alot.Don't know you see this comment but Mr Lee thank you so much. You help me through this journey. Now,I have a lot of knowledges how to keep a relationship healthy.

Just to share, no contact period to me personally is supposed to regroup, recoup, recover and make yourself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually stable again, so that once you know you are truly ready (you can always add an extra day to confirm) before you approach your ex. You need to ask yourself if you can stay calm, composed, unaffected and positive if your ex 1) ignores 2) rejects 3) reconcile with you. The key objective is be very sure that you're steady as a rock regardless the outcome. Hope this helps. And one more thing, you're gonna be fine.

Been in NC for over a month. There's no temptation to break it. I still think about him, but the rose tint has faded from my glasses. I've been busy with a new job, as well as juggling other interviews and trying to network. I've also been spending every other night at the gym, and participate in lessons once a week to build a skill I've wanted to develop my whole life. I'm actively pursuing things that terrify me -or at least, would have terrified my old self. It's amazing how you can go from feeling completely destroyed, to walking the path towards being someone you thought you could never be -all in a matter of a couple of months. I was terrified of people and crowds, yet I spent this month instructing a class of 35 people. I finally feel pride and a sense of accomplishment I've been chasing my whole life.

it doesnt matter if im sobbing, if im hitting a low point or im really jjst struggling, Coach lee always makes me feel calm and helps me think clearly and logically

"You have to give another person the opportunity to learn your place in their life".. Amazing how this can be applied into any kind of relationships. During this hard time, I m listening your videos every single day, first thing in the morning, last before going to bed. I'm not even sure "I want my ex back", however I see in this process you are pointing out an opportunity to heal. I sincerely thank you for this videos, I wish you a lot of prosperity, health and blessings for your work. Thank you 🙏🏻

If she’s going on dates with other guys, I dont want her back ✋ 🛑

The best thing u can do is simple move on with your life, u can't predict If u guys will back together, Just let things go and enjoy the moment even if is bad, some days are easyer then others, eventually everything that is meant to be will be

Don't look backwards unless you plan on going that way. If it wasn't good then, it wont be good now. Take time to realize you are actually lucky to get out of something that wasn't right, and move on.

I've come to accept that he doesn't want a relationship with me. Constant stonewalling. I wish him peace and light.

I love how you discuss every single question that occurs in the mind of the dumpee that we don't ask to our friends anymore because we feel like those are silly questions / don't want to bother them / in some kind of way know the answer but still want someone to tell us lol. And that person to tell us is you! Thankyou coach Lee ♡

Everyone!!! No contact rule rly works!!!! My ex contacted me after more than two month of silence!!!! He’s just testing water now because he’s curious why I’ve been silent and not chased him!!!! I bought Coach Lee’s emergency breakup kit!!! Wish me luck!!!!

Words of encouragement for anyone in the comments going through a fresh break up ! Mine happened in October 2019 came across coach lee binge watched his vids they helped SUPERBLY ! I thought I’d never get over the pain and now I’m at a point where I have no feelings for that person at all ..it’s amazing ! listen to this guy ! please 🙏🏾 and whatever you do ..don’t use other people to distract you from them genuinely heal from the hurt so it doesn’t carry into your next relationship in the form of insecurities/trust issues !

Yes, my ex lost her attraction. A big part of it was because of long distance. I mean the long distance also applied to me. I also was somewhat losing attraction, but I kept to the relationship because I'm loyal and believe you have to work on relationships, but a lot of people don't. It's easy come, easy go.

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.

My ex is a terrible person, started talking to a married man, and a bunch of other dudes "the day we split". Dont date girls who smoked weed when they have asthma

Silence means , she’s moved on , she’s dating , she’s working , she’s getting on with her life . You need to do the same , stop obsessing, stop contacting her , stop putting her on a pedestal,

I feel so helpless, sad and heartbroken 💔 people can be so cruel. One minute you’re lovers, then..strangers.

I miss our memories, not him. I realized how much I love him and how hard it is to lose him during no contact, but I don’t want him anymore

First RU-vidr who's able to really drill down and explain comprehensible the dynamics of silence and why it's a first aid kid which should actually comes natural but there are are specific emotional involvements in relationships which makes us overlook this simplicity. If we were to compare it with an argument between friends we would be completely okay with some silence.

I do not want my ex--ever! I'm just watching these videos because the coach is soooo good looking!

I got to say this is a terrific message. And I know from experience. This is spot on, and anybody who's dealt with a stuck-up ex who thinks she is suddenly better than you needs to hear this man's advice.

“You have to give people the opportunity to learn your place in their life.” 💯

I’m giving it three months. Despite quarantine playing some kind of role on our minds. I’m in month 1.

90 days no contact. My dreams and thoughts are still haunted by her. My house is full of her abscense. I want to forget her but my future was planned out with her being with me. So there isn't a tomorrow. Today is pain and I live in yesterday.

Best line I’ve heard so far “don’t accept the bread crumbs , you deserve the whole ‘loaf’ and the damn table! 🙌🏻

So grateful for you Coach Lee!! Your videos are helping me get through my break up and the extreme anxiety, sadness and heartache I’ve been dealing with. Blessings to you and family 🙏❤️🤩

I'll just give you an update. Almost 2 years no contact and now I'm married to alcohol. Thanks for the advice

This guy is such a healer🙏🏻 I’ve been struggling with this breakup for weeks, also knowing it was going to happen! Listening to this guy just makes me smile and feel that getting back to myself again isn’t too far away😁 Thankyou Lee👍

I love when you tell the truth in convincing and convicting detail. Don't be scared to do that Coach Lee, this is what we need to hear. If your ex has kicked you to the curb, let them feel the feeling of missing you. Do not contact them. Not under any circumstances. Not for Christmas, not for their birthday, not for your anniversary. Not for anything. And when they respond to you in the future, do not respond to any flippant message that you received. They f***** up and they need to know it.

Coach Lee ,you are amazing .I am in no contact for almost one month.And everyday is a struggle but when I listen to you it relaxes me .Your emergency break up kit is amazing .Thank you for all your help .

Im 2 weeks in and it's hard abit especially with this lock down here in new Zealand. I'm stuck with my thoughts all day everyday for another 2 weeks🤦‍♂️

Man you’re AWSOME human being, we need a lot of your type in this world ... you have a kind spirit about your therapy!!!👊🏽❤️

3 years old this video is and it’s still helping people all over. Appreciate you.

Day 2 no contract rule, it is so hard, i cried today but I am stronger again after hearing from Coach Lee. I have assignment deadlines tonight and i have a lot of work to focus on. Stay strong people!

Depends with the situation why would you like to wait for the person who abandoned you? when you move one, JUST MOVE On, don't do NC for you to get back together use it for your own sanity.

It's been 8 months I've walked away. No contact I'm just done. 30 yrs together 25 yrs of marriage, and unfaithful the entire time. The last injury just cut too deep. We are too far in and older now to keep going through the same thing like enough is enough. I blame myself for enabling and allowing so many things to slide. I was just in a dark place I wasn't ready. At this point idc if the lesson is learned now I'm never going back despite it's killing me because I've been with this person from the age 14. I'm just done... I have nothing left to say.

Once it’s ‘over’ it over. You can never go back, you have to move on. The process of letting go of the attachment you developed will be like going through drug and alcohol withdrawal for an addict.

You've hit the nail on the head coach if they found happiness somewhere else you should let them go and be happy for them

My ex texted me while I was in the middle of watching this. I thought I was seeing things lol

There are other good Love Advice coaches giving similar advice to Coach Lee, but how he says these things is some how more effective on me. It resonates. Thank you. These videos about no contact are my backbone sometimes.

Start lifting it's like the gateway to finding yourself again! Coach lee is the best of the best. We're all gonna make it.

Coach Lee you are on point and another great video that you've made. I've gone 80 days of no contact so far, it's the longest I've gone considering on previous occasions I was the one to break the no contact rule usually within 2 - 3 weeks. It's been a tough 80 days, some days are easier than others but you do get through it. My ex will not reach out more than likely as she has the narcissistic traits. She thinks she is better than everyone else. If they don't value your absence they will not appreciate your presence. I get lonely at times, I miss that connection, to wake up in the morning with not having a text message and knowing someone cares about you is hard. Stay strong my friends, I too thought that I'd never stick to the no contact rule but this time it has worked for me even though in the past I broke it and regretted it afterwards. Love and hugs to you all out there and stay true to yourself. 🙏

You are such a wise and intelligent person, Coach Lee. I am forever grateful for happening upon your channel and all the information that came with it.

All I can say is that I would be absolutely stuffed and more broken than if I haven't had these amazingly powerful videos to watch. I put them on when I weaken and feel like contacting, Love ya work Coach Lee. Deb King Australia

My silence means, " you will never be able to hurt me again you dirt bag ".

Don't go where you are tolerated. Go where you are celebrated.

You’re 💯 correct, one of the best coaches I watched 👍🏽

I remember my ex told me when we were still together that ALL of his ex comes back begging for him to take them back. So no wonder if he'll expect me to beg for him which I won't. That's a red flag! I'm glad he said that earlier. I know now what's best for me. 😂

LRD... Been 1 week today since I started NC. I'm going crazy, I'm not okay with these weird emotions. I wake up with gut wrenching pain and walk with it all day. It only goes away when I sleep. This cycle of being okay and not okay is killing me 😭 I just listen to you Coach Lee all day or whenever i think of him. I dont want to break no contact this time... this was his second chance and he messed up!!

He broke up with me, I let him go. Not beginning anyone. I did my BEST to work things out, and wasn’t good enough. He’s too proud to admit all his wrongs so be it. There’s someone better for me out there who would truly appreciate me the way I deserve.

COACH LEE IS THE ONLY MAN TO LISTEN TO ON RU-vid IF YOU WANT YOUR EX BACK!! Good afternoon Coach Lee, your emergency breakout kit do work. I Used it and I got my ex back in 2 weeks. No Contact is the Power, thanks Coach Lee.

The worst is trying to heal from an intense trauma-bond, not only are having to process the pain from the break up but you're having to feel their emotions and pain simultaneously, it's just horrific. 😐💔

I’ve watched & listened to other coaches… but this guy is damn near perfect 👌🏻 with his evaluations/ points of view of how the mind works & coming up with strategies to resolve these relationship matters.

Your videos have given me a lot of insight the last couple weeks. My boyfriend of three years left me... Saying he felt like a lousy boyfriend for not being there for me (we with work in health care and with the pandemic it's understandable). But he also said that he doesn't feel like he's boyfriend material.... It's been hard coping, especially considering he hasn't changed his social media status, and I still have belongings at his house. I don't want to lose hope and I keep praying that we will be together again

Thanks Coach lee, I’m in the same boat too, almost been a month and although quarantine sucks... it’s also a blessing too. Think about it. You’re facing yourself you got no one but yourself to work on and honestly you know he or she isn’t gonna do anything either but build them self up too. Take a perspective on it. Stay strong guys we’re all in it together. If you go out for clubbing or do extracurricular activities to keep yourself busy you’re literally only hiding the pain inside whereas now YOU CAN FACE IT. You got this.

Thank you coach Lee!I feel better now. Every thing you said is sooo true. Your voice and eye contacts with fans are soo good , and you help my go through the break up.

Wow, your videos are a God sent.! The way you break everything down. I will highly recommend this RU-vid platform to anyone I know going thru a breakup.

whether we come back together or not, I have to say you bro is a rock (now do not feel ego in that LOL). I mean it, these lessons are not only for a comeback situation, but It is also for life! I have read so many articles and watched so many videos, honestly keep it up bro! your videos are authentic, masculinity-free ( not like others where it is all about ego ...etc), and balanced opinion. High Five, keep it up!

Coach lee is amazing, he got me through some hard times. I followed all his advice and I feel much much better.

I would still be stuck handing my break up the wrong way. Your advice is a breath of fresh air when I was gasping to breathe and had no idea what to do next. Dude your helping so many people no matter what dynamic Ex or no ex you help all of us get through the toughest times of our lives. If it was easy we wouldn’t be watching or listening, just want to say thank you So much for keeping me focused. Still no ex but there is always hope for ourselves to be better with the right steps. Thank you!

Coach Lee thanks so much for the insight. I feel I had no other choice but to be the dumper. We were engaged for 13 years. That explains it in a nut she'll. You're videos have been a comfort to me during this agonizing time. Marriage and children are deal breaking issues. Talking about it didn't work. I feel I had no choice but to be the dumper. I hope it doesn't make me a narcissist for wanting him to fix things.

your voice is so soothing I listen to your videos at night to sleep. I don't have an ex I want back, its just your voice is a blessing! I don't even know how I found your videos but I'm grateful I did.

It’s funny when I was in a relationship there were a lot of things about her I didn’t like. I wanted to end things myself a few times. But I didn’t. When she broke up with me I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. All of the sudden I felt like I loved her and lost something amazing. When really I didn’t have those feelings during the relationship. She said slot of mean things when we broke up that hurt my feelings and made me feel self conscious. And the fact she hasn’t spoken to me or even made any effort makes me feel worse. I think I just want to know they miss me and are thinking about me. That I’m not all those things they said I was but all the things I was in the beginning of the relationship. I don’t think I want her back, just want myself back if that makes sense,

I feel so much better after watching your videos. It has been 10 days without any contact and i feel better with myself. After a breakup I made many mistakes like calling, texting for 2 weeks and I hope that it isn't too late to fix it :(

Coach Lee you mentioned we could share our story. I was with an absolutely incredible man and he ended it. We have all of the same boxes checked and what we shared was magical, like nothing either of us ever felt and we discussed just how the extent of our attraction to the other was like cosmic, not like previous relationships where you might try it out and see if you can love someone. What ever we felt was in our bones and had us asking ourselves what the heck is going one because at 36 and 40, neither of us had ever felt that was about anyone else. So great start to a relationship and it did move really fast. My friends said we were flowing like we had been married for 10 years and they thought it was odd. Then within about a 2 week span, he started all of a sudden not wanting to be in a relationship. I was dealing with my grandpas death, and he was not over his fathers death wish was recent but before we met, but he had just spread his dads ashes, (he was his dads PSW caretaker for the last 8 months of his life and his dad died in his arms at home - grey traumatic) so I think whatever going on with my grandpa and my grief was a trigger for his grief and he just said he felt he needed to talk to someone, wants to be alone and doesn’t want to be in a relationship... there was a bit of arguing over the last two weeks mostly because he just felt irritable and he had apologized and just felt like he had no patience or tolerance for anyone. Before I viewed your video on gifts, I did send him a birthday gift in the mail and he insisted on giving it back or reimbursing me. And said again he just wants to be alone. 6weeks went by and I dropped off a gift Christmas Eve and just silence. This is when I started listening to your no contact videos. I’m trying, really trying. On January 12th, I sent him a generic email for info about sept. JK registration with our school board because I know it’s what he wanted for his son (I’m a teacher). No good or bad feedback but I feel like he would have appreciated the heads up about it so he is just as informed as his ex and have more say in terms of shared custody and decision making on their son. I’m back to no contact again. And yes we are in an extremely strict lockdown in Ontario Canada so No one can leave other than for groceries, pharmacy, exercise or walking the dog... no social gatherings outside your household, lots of hefty fines for this... so we can’t see each other any ways. I know we were together a short time but how I feel about him is not goi my away, and only getting stronger with time, I’m fine with waiting just can’t accept it if he doesn’t come back because I do not want anyone else... I want him, no matter if he loses his job or god forbid is paralyzed from the neck down, I want him through whatever life throws at us. I am not interested in anyone else out there. I feel like I would need him to move on with someone else first for me to accept there isn’t a chance for us. I know you can’t really answer this but none of your videos touch on what a man needs to feel ready for a relationship, or how men deal with grief or depression. I have one brother who was depressed for 4 years (about 10 years ago) and there wasn’t anything we could do to snap him out of it. My other brother wanted to just be alone for over a year after a 5 year breakup and nothing we could do to help him, he just wanted to be left alone. I feel like this is where Jay is at with grieving his father. I’m ok with waiting and wish he would just let me in and be there to support him. How long could it take for this situation? How long should a no contact be in place for a situation like this? Obviously longer. He is also the workaholic keep him self occupied task oriented type (no substance issues whatsoever - otherwise a very healthy strong man of great leadership)

As the dumper, there was no ego boost at all. Felt so awful. It actually feels like a surgery without anaesthetic to remove him from my heart.

I have been in no contact for two months one week. He blocked me but messaged me because he saw me post a message of my ante who is dead. He even called a friend to confirm when I wasn't answering him. Silence is golden. They will monitor you but in the end,you will know your life is better without them.

I would like to say that NC rule it's working as well for short time relationship. Few years ago I had boyfriend who loved me so much, I felt that I just liked him and I didn't feel anything special. I broke up with him and he was so sad. We have been together just 5 months. In general he stayed no contact. I remember that after 2 months of NC he sent me message but I didn't reply because I though he should be with somebody who will truly love him. But after this he stayed NC all time for few months. In this time I understood how much I miss him and want him back. After next 7 months he sent message again and then I replied and we started to date again :)

you are the best relationship coach then anyone out there... i havent gaven up hope... other person has told me usually they will miss u for a month and move on just move on and dont even try they told me ... we have been broken up by 2months a week now... i saw his instagram and he recently been going out drinking with group of friends ... 4girls and 2guys... by looken at that i so regretted.... made me want to reach out so i quickly went to look at ur vdos u saved me lol thank u i reached out once when he broke it off... i wont reach out .... its his turn ... if he doesnt then his lost. and yes he was a narcissistic! he told me all his exes chased him when they broke up ... i wont be like their ex!! i am strong!!!!

this video is so good, its exactly explained what my ex BF was trying to do while breaking up with me. It was a ego boost and he still want me to satisfy it somehow.

If she's the one that ended it, she's probably silent because she's not into you anymore and possibly with someone else. Lick your wounds, grow from the experience and move on! She's not worth it...

Thank you so much coach Lee I was shattered broke and I also chased my ex couple of times and the breakup which occurred couple of weeks ago but now I feel better ur videos have helped me alot to heal myself

I once used your videos to actually get my ex back, and it succeeded. Unfortunately it still ended the same way as before. It goes to show that not everyone is capable of change. Now I’m just using these videos to comfort me. I’m going to move forward. There’s so many people out there that I don’t see why I should try to make a relationship work with someone from the past that has failed multiple times.

I have reached a state of depression and acceptance, my chest hurt and still hurts, our relationship lasted 6 months, I fell in love, I gave everything, at first it was the honeymoon, but then I felt that he had grown cold and that he was using me. I feel a little liberated with the acceptance, but I still think about him. It hurts to the core.

“Don’t feed their ego” 👌🏻

Mr. Lee. You are the best. Whenever I feel down, I watch your videos. You are the life saver. You always keep telling us to think rationally and to love ourselves. You are the best coach on youtube.

My wife of 19 years may have watched some of your videos (or other similar videos) we met during some extraordinarily difficult times in both of our lives. I've always felt like she was the only reason that I'm still above ground. And she used to literally sing Better Middlers Wind beneath my wings to me. We have five boys together and we've been going through some tough times. I had been self medicating my PTSD with all kinds of different things. I Lost a lot of weight and stopped working out. I gave her anything she asked for whenever she asked but I know I wasn't really there for her. She took the kids 2 states away and I didn't hear from her for two months. I was so miserable I figured that the only thing that was going to keep me from putting a bullet in my brain was finding someone else to fill the void. I gave it a shot with 2 different women and it was a disaster with both. They were nice enough but being that close to someone else literally made me sick to my stomach. My Grandfather died and I decided to drive to Texas so I could visit my boys on the way there and back. The whole time she was gone I was hitting the weights with a vengeance and was probably in better shape then when we met. I got held up last minute and didn't have time to see them on the way to Texas (she didn't know I was coming anyway) but she let me see the boys on the way home. She was furious that I didn't see them on the way out. She somehow knew all kinds of things that I had been doing and I wasn't going to lie to her. She got really angry the first day but invited me to go swimming with her and the boys the next day. In 19 years of marriage I've only seen her in a swimsuit in public twice so I was completely dumbfounded when she showed up in a swimsuit and got in the pool. She's always been a little chubby but I've always thought that she was beautiful. She still is. She wouldn't tell me where she lives and I didn't push it but she did go to the movies with us the next day and bowling the day after. I told her I'd be moving back so I could be near my kids at the end of the month and she gave me pointers on how to make the move easier. I'm still not sure whether she wants me back or not but I can't imagine us not being with each other. She hugged me goodbye and complained about her chronic shoulder pain the whole time and let(or made)me rub it. What do you think she's thinking?

The whole reason I'm going no contact is because I know that I can't go through another fight like this in the future. I know if I'm the one to smooth this over he will just keep taking advantage of me. If NC doesn't work, reconciling wouldn't have worked either. It would be two dead ends. I'm just hoping no contact works.