You're accurate if you mean men in general but there are tons of imams and islamic lecturers that do discuss these issues you just have to find them :)
+Sarah E But that's what I'm saying. Sid isn't an Islamic lecturer or an imam however he actually has the heart to make these videos with his wife and help those in need. You don't have to be an Islamic lecturer or imam to talk about these issues publicly.
About 90% of rape victims know their attacker. No matter how close you may be to another man, family or not, the second they make a move and there is no consent on your end, stay away and tell someone you trust. And never ever ever ever ever feel like it was your fault. No matter what you were wearing or if you looked. --- this situation is way more common than we think in our community
I haven't been abused though..My creepy uncle used to always touch my hair, and my mom just said it was okay because he was "my uncle" even tho I was weirded out
my mom's real brother tried to touch me the wrong way and cornered Me to kiss me I kicked his balls and ran away! after that he never did shit like that, I told on him but no one believed me. it's been years and that old bastard is still alive!
Guys could u plz pray for my little cousin shes 7 years old and has kidney cancer her brother died last year due to the same reason plz pray for her health
To the young girl who wrote this email. You did NOTHING wrong. With teachers for example if a student even tried to kiss them a decent one would say I am really sorry but that's not right. You simply looked. The advice Sid and Dina gave is absolutely correct. It will go further next time if you do not act NOW. Tell mama and papa. Be brave and remember you did nothing wrong. 💜
It's weird that he has a lock on his bedroom in the first place. If a family lives together and there are no strangers or friends living in the house that are unrelated to you, then there is no need to have any locks on internal doors. I get why you might have a lock on the bathroom or toilet door for example, but the bedrooms don't need to have it unless you have got something to hide. I think that this creepy uncle might have other skeletons in his closet. I also think this girl doesn't need to say she had a crush on her uncle when she inshallah tells her parents what happened. Whether she had a crush not, it doesn't justify her uncle sexually assaulting her. However, if she is worried about being judged for having the crush, she doesn't need to mention that part when she inshallah confides in her parents. I also think that, whether her parents believe her or not, and even if they don't help her and call the police, she still should call the police herself. This is not only to get justice for herself, but also to inshallah prevent this from happening again to get out others. If prosecuted, her uncle could be put on the sex offenders register, and that would help prevent him from having close contact with children. Also, it may be the case that she is not his only victim; and by her coming forward then others would do so as well. I wish this sister and others like her all the best inshallah.
I have been sexually harassed by a family friend type of uncle. I was 8 years old and we were alone in a coach and he showed me his d*** and started feeling me up saying I'm pretty and cute. THIS IS REAL. I told my parents and they sorted it out although they didn't tell the police. He got fired from his job but the main thing is TELL YOUR PARENTS. I think I am still scarred by that and I am 23 now.
What a sick man hope your alright now,and don't know what is wrong with these people they ain't got no class who could they do this family let alone a stranger it's disgusting
I am very pleased to see Dina and Sid talk about real life issues. Unfortunately, these stories are real whether with uncles, dads, grandfathers. These stories happen, but no one talks from fear, or just simple shock. Thank you for raising awareness!
Rape/sexual abuse often happens in the family. Problem is parents don't teach their kids about 'tattling on ppl they trust.' So kids/teens rarely reveal or talk to their parents, even though they feel and know it is wrong. From someone who has experienced such abuse, I'm calling out to all the parents to change this mentality! Teach your kids to speak out and be open with you.
I have a story for this girl and why she should tell someone. I was raped at 3 years old by a cousin because he had a sexual attraction to me. He was 13. And at the time of being raped my other girl cousin, who was about 3 years older then me, was there in the same room. And she was traumatized by it and started molesting me from age of 3-10 years old. I ddnt tell ANYONE this until I was 17 years old, completely damaged, paranoid, and going bat shit crazy in my own mind. Suicidal at the age of 13 till now and hospitalized twice. I'm telling everyone and anyone who reads this to please say something and GET HELP. Don't care about getting the other person in trouble cuz as a 3 year old that was my biggest concern. Your parents love you and they would want you to tell them. Don't think about anybody else because you ARE and always should be number one in your own life.
Happened to my cousin. She was 5 and she told my sister that her dads sisters husband touched her and did inappropriate things and told her if she screamed he'd kill her. My sister told me a very small amount and I felt sick, I told my mum straight away and apparently it was an elaborate lie. Years later my sister told me that she couldn't tell me in detail and still wont because it was too horrific. I still believe my cousin and feel helpless that no one believed her.
In my community, everyone is called uncle or aunt if they are around your parents' age group. In this scenario, an uncle could be a family friend or an aunt's husband. Tell someone you trust immediately (teacher, parents, school counselors) and stay away him at all times. His next move is probably going to be horrific.
People have this perception that rape is usually done by a stranger, that a person would randomly find you on the street or kidnap you and thats when they rape you. And while, yes that does happen, majority of rape does occur by someone you know (relative / friend). I say this so that people dont take those instances, where they are in the presence of someone they know, lightly. I dont remember the exact percentage, but I heard once that 80-90% of rape cases are done by someone the victim knows. So do not take this lightly. A few months ago, my friend told me that she was raped by her own cousin at her house when she was really young (11 years old). Her cousin managed to find the perfect opportunity to get her alone, and rape her. She was 11, she had no idea what was happening to her, as a lot of families neglect to educate their kids about this, which should happen, at a very young age, and to both males and females. Females, even though more common, they are not the only victims of rape, males do get raped as well. My friend has not told her family about the rape and still lives with the nightmare, while her cousin now leads a normal life, is married with two kids. I have tried convincing her to report him, but she feels that it will become a scandal within the family, that her reputation will be ruined forever, and that no one will approach her for marriage. Mothers. Fathers. Be a support system for your kids. Do not raise them in a way that they feel they will get blamed if they talk to you about this, that its their fault, their responsibility, that they will be of shame to the family. Me, being both arab and muslim, I've been surrounded by this notion that ones image/reputation is above all. That you should sweep everything under the carpet and keep a smile on so that people dont talk. And while, yes I do agree that one shouldnt over share and should be private about their own business, but not when it comes to justice. One should not allow themselves to remain a victim. We need to raise kids strong enough to fight. Raise kids that are stronger than cultural disablities and "image-preservation", that care more about putting wrong-doers in their rightful place. Raise kids that recognise their self-worth and are willing to fight for it. I am writing this in the hopes that someone will read this, and along with Sid and Dina's video, will realize the seriousness of the matter. With the lack of education that I have received about this, it is lucky that nothing has happened to me, alhamdulilah. Always be cautious, stay safe, do not let this education stop here, make it your responsibility to educate and warn others, advise your friends, sisters, brothers, young ones. Remember, once done, it cannot be undone, and it will take a lot of time and energy to feel normal again, and to be able to move on with life. So live your life, but always be careful and look out for one another :)
I think it's important to add that a situation like this can also happen to young boys (you'd be surprised, rape amongst males is quite unspoken), so if you are male or your son complains about the same sort of situation... then the same information applies regardless.
Sid and Dina... Thank you. Something like one in four girls is a victim of sexual abuse (the number blows my mind) so many people need to hear this. This is some sound advice 💜
i met far distant cousins for the first time and they were two girls about the age of 8 and they told my their uncle put his hands up their skirts and touches them an kisses them and i asked them why they dont tell their mum and they explained that they have and she said its ok i was so disgusted and i would obviously not allow that sexual abuse to happen to kids i ended up telling thheir cousins who are 22 and 27 as they seemed mature and their mother got into trouble and they told her the girls aren't allowed to see him anymore and i tried to make them realize how serious it is, im 12 and obviously i dont know any of them and have only met them once so i couldnt completely butt in and im 100% certain they are safe with the trust of my 22/27 year old cousins who are very trustworthy and helpful.
I really appreciate this video guys. I've been watching a lot of law and order svu and was wondering, "how do you even protect your family from this stuff? How do you know it might be happening?" This was incredibly well said, thought out, and clear. Again, I really appreciate the videos you make.
Do the people whose questions you answer respond to you with an update of their situation? If so, it would be nice to get an update video of these questions!
It's so sad how parents know nothing about what goes on with their children. Especially when it's their own family taking advantage of their child and the child is too ashamed or scared to speak up about it.
Most people get raped/abused/molested by their own family members, like cousins and uncles and family friends too. Amazing advice Sid and Dina, girls should always follow their instincts and be wary if they feel creeped out by someone, even if its their family.
I work as a counsellor in a uk city and the amount of asian muslim sisters who get abused, through incest, extended family abuse, whom many are trusted members of the community, its shocking. The worst part is sometimes the mother/community does not believe them, or they blame them, so then they get abused again, sometimes the reaction from others when they do tell is even worse for them than the abuse itself, because they feel ashamed and abandoned, my advice to girls is, if ur own family does not protect you, or make you feel like you are to blame, the police will believe you, find counselling, talk about it to trusted people, GET OUT! Dont wait, say you are going to a friends or corner shop, or shopping, dont say anything to the family if its happening in the family and u fear the consequences, just make an excuse, and get to the nearest police station. Stay safe, god bless.
This is the first advice video that has made me cry...this got to me. Thank you for doing these videos sid and dina. Sometimes u cant talk to ur parents, you feel ashamed and embarrassed. i really think getting an organisation involved is a really good idea so thank u once again
the force kissing family members thing was really insightful. we teach children to abandon their natural instincts.... it's unhelpful. thanks for the great video.. keep it up 💙💙 btw could you guys do an mbti test plz.. you both seem so intuitive 😃
Dina let Sid finish talking ffs!! Every time Sid starts talking you start talking louder than him over him to shut him up it was funny the first few times but now it's just so annoying
Tabby .S if you really find it annoying then just leave. Srsly people these days just complain and complain about things that arnt that deep . Just mind your own business
I was sexually abused by my father for nearly 10 years as a child. It started when I was about 4 years old, and I was too young to understand what was happening. To this day I wish I had told my mother sooner. But to anyone out there who is being abused, it is NOT your fault. Don't ever be ashamed of yourself. Tell someone! A family member, a teacher- please! Don't wait. Xx
I'm glad you guys clarified who is an actual uncle. And yessss I totally agree people like this take advantage of your SILENCE! Speak up girls!! Don't stay silent. Man I totally agree with EVERYTHING you guys said in this vid
I do believe that you guys need your own reality TV show.. I would watch before anything else or like a talk show helping people with problems like this or just giving advice!! GOD blees yall!!
+Trucker Fuentes you're right.. i would definitely watch !!! ohh and by the way, my biological father's name is Fuentes, but i never knew him he died before i was born... but i have my stepfathers name
Thank you Sid and Dina for doing a video on this subject and also for feeling the compassion to get professionals involved to really help these girls/women.
Great advise mA don't force your child to hug or kiss anyone even family members if your child isn't conformable . It's actually very empowering them from a young age.
If you are in a situation like this, take Sid's advice and STAY AWAY because unfortunately sometimes if you tell others they will not believe that a family member can do something like this. So take action and stay away from the person, never allow yourself to be in the same room with him.
Firstly I would like say that what you both doing such a inspirational job by addressing issues that are kept quiet in the whole Muslim/Asian communities, but the fact that you are both able to empathise with issues regarding girls due to being parents to a daughter yourselves make your concerns about issue like these more relatable topics to discuss.
I love how it's just so obvious that these two are such a match! Not only do they give great advice but you can just tell by the way they finish each others thoughts how great they are together. I want what sid & dina have LOL
It's not that strange for her to have a thing for her uncle. Especially if she's a younger teen, any attractive and charismatic older male will get her attention. It's a phase a lot of girls go through, but then do grow out of. Still doesn't change the fact that he was absolutely in the wrong for his behavior. She can have her feelings with zero fault, and this situation was completely on him not respecting boundaries.
Thanks for focusing a lot on how to protect yourself, these days you get jumped on like a bitch for telling girls how to be safe because its deemed as "victim blaming", YES he shouldn't have kissed her, but if she had been taught never to go alone with a man, even a relative, it wouldn't have happened! My dad taught me never to do that and he raised me to be a loudmouth and always tell him or my mum where i was going and with who even if its in the same house and i realise how safe i was because of this because i know for a fact that a girl and boy in my family who hadnt been taught these things, were actually sexually assaulted by an uncle and then blamed for it! Its outrageous but girls should be taught how to protect themselves from these sickos who will pounce at any opportunity
And by the way even if the person emailing isnt underage, its still sexual assault because she clearly didnt want it even if he is fit he had to physically lock the door because he knew she would try to escape and she did run out crying which is clear non consent
You all honestly have NO idea that this really does happen, if it happened to me then it can happen to someone else. And, I was a minor - literally, a minor, a child, a baby. It will affect you for the rest of your life because you will remember it, no matter how young you are, you are traumatised - forever. I'm constantly protecting myself from men, all types of men. I analyse them and back off if it gets to far (in my line of work I have to interact with all). I'm an adult now and I'm still affected. Girls, boys, protect your brothers and sisters no matter how nice and good these men and women are in your family or family friend is. Sid & Dina, hit me up with your participation with campaigns, I work with a charity who work with children who are being abused and run away and I've always wanted to get the word out like an advert or something but haven't gotten around to it. I would love to support you guys but anonymously.
Sorry to hear you experienced such a thing :( We would love for you to help girls and boys out there with your involvement. Would be be possible to drop us an email on SidnDina@gmail.com ? :) Thanks!!
Thanks for sharing your story! I am so sorry this happened to you, it is the worst of crimes that could be committed against a child. It really damaged a person's soul. I am so pleased that you are involved charity work to help other children who have gone through this. May Allah(swt) reward your patience and your efforts, and may be punish that person/the people that committed those heinous crimes against you inshallah.
Very good advice guys. I'm proud to be a subscriber today. Sexual abuse is something that is so common within Muslim communities and never gets addressed, this video has most likely helped someone somewhere so I personally give you a massive thank you for this.
I know of someone who was sexually abused by her dad for many years since she was a prepubescent child... all the family seemed to know but covered it up. We tried our best and did get the authorities involved, but her family were able to convince her that he would not touch her again and she dropped the charges. It didn't take long for him to start again. She had 3 younger sisters, I still think about them and her. I don't want to generalise, but this is deep rooted into Muslim communities, people don't speak about this stuff which is why when such things happen in these families, rarely anything is done by it. To anyone who is or has been abused by a family member/friend, please speak up, don't be afraid of breaking up the family. It's so difficult, but be strong.
What you're doing is amazing. I'm glad you guys make videos like this regularly because you're really helping people who go through these situations and don't know what to do or are too scared to say anything. I love how you talk about issues that the Muslim community tends to keep hush about out of "shame". Thank you guys so much.
I'm trying so hard to understand how the girl think her uncle is good looking. HOW , HOW can she even think in that way of her uncle? And what kind of uncle does those things??
It's totally possible. Especially if he's younger, charismatic. Or maybe she only sees him at big family gatherings. Young girls newly experiencing those feelings could feel it for any man, but it's usually a phase.
Sabrina Pinada there's nothing wrong with thinking family members are good looking because that doesn't mean you're attracted to them. if it is actual sexual attraction then there's a problem because that's weird obviously. i have plenty of cousins who I would say are good looking but that doesng mean attraction there totally separate things
So many good points in this video that I agree with!!! I have 2 young children and I would listen to what ever they said in a heart beat, better to be safe than sorry, it's unfortunate we can't trust our closest family members to protect our children, inshallah Allah keep us all safe ❤️
Yeah honestly, parents really need to let their ego or WHATEVER down and believe their child. They have to have a good relationship with their children so that they can be comfortable with at least one parent even, to tell about these kinds of things. This is important.
Thank you for bringing light to the subject, it's never talked about but it affects so many, I urge parents to communicate with their children and always believe what your child is telling you, it breaks my heart to hear parents aren't listening to children, always tell someone you can trust and if your parents don't listen speak to someone in law enforcement it may seem harsh but it will protect you xx
I have never watched any of your videos & only clicked on this because it was in the "related videos" section. I'm only 20 seconds in but have to say that you two are a beautiful couple!!
Thank you so much. Such an important topic. Hopefully the girl is ok and nothing worse happened to her. I hope that so many young girls take care of themselves and defend themselves
Not sure why, but to me it felt like the girl in the email was about 12/13. Firstly, I don't think you should ever blame yourself for what your uncle tried to do. It's okay to find someone good looking but that doesn't mean it justifies your uncle's bad actions towards you. He's just taking advantage of your innocene and fear. Please please do tell your parents or even your older siblings if you can't find the courage to tell your parents. But make sure people know about what's happened.
i'm so glad you guys do these types of videos because alot of people go through it and dont say a word. you guys are such a big help to the young muslim community around the world! thank you !!!
Please let these young teenage girls know that, they are going physical changes and they are not mature enough to completely understand these feelings. If they do have attractions to an older man (or relative), this is part of physical changes, and adults are NEVER allowed to take advantage of these (sometimes intense) feelings. It is against the law for an Adult to react to a Child under 18 yrs old. These girls need not feel Shame, they just need a parent, aunt or any trusted Female they can confide in, about these unfamiliar feelings. They need to help to understand, it's not sinful to feel Physical attractions. It is sinful for an adult to take advantage of this innocent young girl.
Dinah's make up in this video oh my god, gorgeous. I have very handsome uncles too but i've never admired their goodlooks in a romantic sense, just more so in pride like my family is goodlooking XD
Thank you Sid and Dina for making this video. I'm so glad that you did. Sadly this stuff has been going on for years, with the perpetrator abusing their position of trust as a family member, and especially within families where close interaction with non-family members is discouraged/prevented. Thank you for being in touch with specialist organisations - I really appreciate what you're doing.
I'm just obsessed with you guys, not only are you both adorable, hilarious, intelligent, and have such amazing chemistry, but the advice you give is so relatable (I'm not Muslim myself, and I still feel like your advice speaks to me) Thank you both for making these videos, and for talking about these taboo subjects. Think of how much prejudice and stereotyping and fear that could be overcome if more people were just willing to talk, listen and learn as much as you guys! Much love and blessings from Scotland 💜
Wallahi I was just thinking of Sid And Dina video. Gonna sleep now and watch this video in the morning cause its 1:00 at night at Pakistan and I feel exshausted. 😭😭😭😭
you guys are awesome for addressing these issues. because of your honest and genuine attitudes so many people have found in both of you people they can trust to ask these things. and your answeres are WONDERFUL. dont let anything change you. both of you are blessings from god
Unfortunately, rape within blood relationships is real, which is also why the Quran explicitly states Incest and rape are wrong (because there are sick people out there who actually will do it)
its a culturel think and quran didnt say that we must do it but also it didnt forbid it anyway i cant imagine having a relationship with one of my cousins they are like brothers to me
Great advice guys ...if she thinks she can't tell her parents maybe she can go to another family member say an older sister or Aunt and get them to talk to the parents.... I bet when this comes out she will find she isn't the first girl in the family he has done this to and she certainly won't be the last if she doesn't speak up. Thanks for doing these type of videos it is important for young girls of all religions to know it's ok to say NO !!!
Thank you Sid and Dina for speaking on this topic- Our culture really needs to change when it comes to speaking out about abuse- a lot of times family members make the person stay quiet and tell them to never speak about it to any one not realising how much damage they are causing that person. Making them feel like they are at fault. Parents or family members who do that should be ashamed of themselves. No girl or guy who has been abused should be made to stay quiet. People should be able to to name and shame the abuser so that he or she never hurts an innocent child ever again. By not letting people speak out only helps the abuser to hurt someone again and ruin more lives.
