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Dark Souls Helped Me Cope With Suicidal Depression 

Writing on Games
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I'll start off by stating the most obvious of obvious - video games are not substitutes for medical advice. If you're feeling like this, talk to your doctor!
Second, yes, this video does talk about suicide, in a pretty matter-of-fact way (although sparing any gory details) - if you find that uncomfortable, please feel free to turn the video off. Last thing I want to do is cause any hurt to people. This video's message is ultimately meant to be very positive (at least from my perspective).
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Patreon: / writingongames
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It's a new year, so what better way to start than by immediately talking about my brushes with severe mental illness! In this slightly different, far more personal episode of Writing On Games, I attempt to break down how From Software's Dark Souls helped me get to grips and cope with my struggles regarding major depression and suicidal tendencies - analysing how every element of the game's design, from the difficulty, to the world, to the combat, all contribute to subverting the expectation that Dark Souls wallows in death and sadism. In fact, I go as far as to argue that Dark Souls is a celebration of life, and how this had a very positive impact on me as an individual.
Footage borrowed from Bandai Namco, Boss Battle Database and Co-Optimus. Thank you very much for this - I don't yet have the means to capture my own gameplay, and so I hope you understand how grateful I am that you produce videos of such high quality that I'm able to use them in these videos. All footage is credited to the people who created/own it.
If you like the video, if you'd consider hitting subscribe you'd really be helping the channel to grow, and if you think someone else might appreciate the content then please feel free to share the video with them! Thank you so much!

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19 янв 2016

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Комментарии : 1,3 тыс.   
@potatolancer3461
@potatolancer3461 7 лет назад
I lost 200 dollars in my wallet a while back and well... Got over it pretty quickly. I remember telling myself, "There go all my souls".
@deusfaust
@deusfaust 7 лет назад
Lmfao.... that always sucks
@madtitan6959
@madtitan6959 7 лет назад
Potatolancer lol i laughed so hard at this
@noahkirkland5844
@noahkirkland5844 6 лет назад
Same and then I went around my neighborhood and killed everyone and stole their cash, but it's fine they'll respawn. . . Right?
@uthman1114
@uthman1114 6 лет назад
That's autistic
@AverageJoe8686
@AverageJoe8686 6 лет назад
The Autistic have skill. Please don't insult them.
@BlackXSunlight
@BlackXSunlight 8 лет назад
Perhaps the slogan is incomplete. "Prepare to die... but fight to live."
@JFJD
@JFJD 7 лет назад
+OldHero793 Endure. In enduring, grow strong.
@eliashenrique2960
@eliashenrique2960 7 лет назад
that actualy is a better slogan 😀
@OnlyRoke
@OnlyRoke 7 лет назад
Imagine Dark Souls under a slightly different slogan. "YOU CAN SUCCEED"
@rebelpoxy
@rebelpoxy 7 лет назад
I think the phrase you were looking for was "GIT GUD OR GET REKT"
@rebelpoxy
@rebelpoxy 7 лет назад
Or Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
@lunarlexomancer4906
@lunarlexomancer4906 7 лет назад
This is the most heartwarming interpretation of "git gud" I've ever seen
@danmcdaid8608
@danmcdaid8608 5 лет назад
Al-Lunar “git well”
@punished7030
@punished7030 5 лет назад
@@danmcdaid8608 :)
@f.8522
@f.8522 4 года назад
@thebeeghoont7888
@thebeeghoont7888 3 года назад
Don’t git gud: git better
@greyfox4838
@greyfox4838 3 года назад
that's what people do tell depressed people, "get better", usually it's "I hope you get better"... we should start telling quitters "I hope you git gud"!
@Xanmann2000
@Xanmann2000 7 лет назад
Damn that's crazy. Imagine being a developer of Dark Souls seeing this video and realizing you literally saved someone's life.
@paulollarsabaiii9824
@paulollarsabaiii9824 7 лет назад
[Xander] Miyazaki is proud.
@genericname9875
@genericname9875 4 года назад
Hideo Kojima would be proud Wait..
@isaaclowe2500
@isaaclowe2500 3 года назад
What's even more interesting is that this ISN'T the only video saying the game did the same/a similar thing for them, nakey jakey did something similar, there's another one recommended for me below this video, it seems to just click on a primal level of the human brain
@guardadewindhelm7520
@guardadewindhelm7520 2 года назад
Not only one, millions my friend, millions
@cr-nd8qh
@cr-nd8qh Год назад
I'm playing dark souls one for the first time ever blind. It is awesome I've already bought Bloodborne and dark souls 3 and I'm not done with the first one.
@mridley64
@mridley64 7 лет назад
I think Dark Souls is a lot more attractive to people who are depressed or who have gone through trauma. In a world with no hope and no light, a little guy worth less than nothing fails over and over and over again, but with determination (and perhaps some jolly co-operation), he becomes strong enough to overcome not only the monsters in his path, but also the darkness inside. All to keep the light going just a little while longer.
@Sharigloo
@Sharigloo 5 лет назад
Hell no, Dark Lord ending all the way!
@dubkustomz85
@dubkustomz85 5 лет назад
I love this
@LONDON1KaZR
@LONDON1KaZR 5 лет назад
That sounds all nice, but it's not true.
@ncrranger6327
@ncrranger6327 5 лет назад
*But the Dark is better...*
@thenoobflutisttmearraperec10
@thenoobflutisttmearraperec10 5 лет назад
Dark Lord ending is way better
@VT-mw2zb
@VT-mw2zb 7 лет назад
Dark Souls made me understand Buddhism. Seriously. I was a Buddhist all my life, but I never really understand it. Then playing Dark Souls and it dawns on me: if you obsess with every single success or failure in your life, you will never get anywhere. You will just get frustrated and fail. The world is full of pain and suffering, so the only way to move forward is to relax and drink in the atmosphere. Just enjoy the moment to moment wonder and take the failure as it is. Don't agonise over every failure, nor take too much pride with success. Dark Souls is basically life compressed into a small space and experience that you can get through in a few weeks instead of your entire life.
@danielsanders2146
@danielsanders2146 7 лет назад
this is amazing dude
@lessemo
@lessemo 7 лет назад
"The curse of life, is the curse of want" - Ancient Dragon in DS2
@martindikzak6428
@martindikzak6428 7 лет назад
i rate this comment 11/10
@gabrielweiss9687
@gabrielweiss9687 7 лет назад
the 4 noble truths mate
@AngelicBeatdown
@AngelicBeatdown 7 лет назад
so you chant and shit?
@azmin92
@azmin92 7 лет назад
life is like Dark Souls. It's hard, but it's good.
@TheExFatal
@TheExFatal 7 лет назад
Ali-Azmin Hassan except your life isn't full of bugs and hlitches
@trash9056
@trash9056 7 лет назад
Maybe mine is.
@AllKindzzzz
@AllKindzzzz 7 лет назад
It's good. If you play it.
@ownageDan
@ownageDan 7 лет назад
and sometimes a red jester shows up, owns you and dances on your corpse.
@Svidrigailov1
@Svidrigailov1 7 лет назад
ownageDan I want to thumb ur comment up but Im scared I'll jinx myself .. I don't want to attract the red jester to me :(
@darthreaper6311
@darthreaper6311 5 лет назад
I actually tried to kill myself back in February due to depression over my Asperger's preventing me from getting a job due to being a "liability" as well as my brother's death. Dark Souls is helping me through my depression as well.
@rioti7318
@rioti7318 4 года назад
Stay strong bless you
@97Multiphantom
@97Multiphantom 3 года назад
From one suicidally depressed aspie to another, “don’t you dare go hollow.”
@thebeeghoont7888
@thebeeghoont7888 3 года назад
Don’t go hollow on us- stay safe friend.
@abhiniveshsharma3807
@abhiniveshsharma3807 3 года назад
Don't you dare go hollow , stay safe friend
@Cinxdr
@Cinxdr 2 года назад
Rip to your brother 🙏
@shadowboxin420
@shadowboxin420 8 лет назад
Dark Souls 1 helped me immensely with my depression that came about from being diagnosed with Leukemia when I was 19 in 2010. Had to do a 3 year straight chemotherapy regimen and I was unable to stay focused on anything at all for more than a few minutes. Even things I loved. Then I decided to give DS1 a shot back in 2011 and became completely obsessed with it and could sit and play for hours at a time without even thinking about the constant nausea and chronic pain I was facing. All in all gaming as a whole played a huge part in keeping me optimistic and got me through my chemo treatment. Competitive fighting games, JRPGs, and the Souls games being the main games that did that for me. And now I'm 25, and considered cured of my Leukemia. I still struggle with PTSD, Clinical Depression, Anxiety, Agoraphobia and some other things mentally that my cancer left me with, but gaming is the one thing that helps me deal with it all. Especially since before diagnosis I was into skateboarding, snowboarding and other super physical, athletic activities that required physical strength. Now I have no balance nor the strength/stamina to do either of those, so gaming is my escape and therapy for all the trauma I endured. Thank you for this video.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
It's hearing stories like this that make this whole thing worthwhile. That's a fucking tough situation, but I'm so glad you were able to find something that helped you through it. Thank you so much for watching and sharing your story.
@rockhuerta
@rockhuerta 5 лет назад
Stay safe friend, and don’t you dare go hollow
@OljeiKhan
@OljeiKhan 5 лет назад
Seriously though , don't you dare go hollow! All those who are oppressed and tortured by "dark" are beacons of "light"
@zboy1152
@zboy1152 5 лет назад
Don’t you dare go hollow my friend
@heselofhephidiyiai5985
@heselofhephidiyiai5985 4 года назад
Good job, now don't you dare go hollow.
@Xanderqwerty123
@Xanderqwerty123 7 лет назад
Way to make a grown man tear up in public
@victuz
@victuz 4 года назад
No such thing as "man tears", just tears.
@wackyflappybob
@wackyflappybob 4 года назад
@@victuz that's deep homie. Thank you
@RyanHollinger
@RyanHollinger 8 лет назад
Wow, this was a very brave video and I truly commend you. I really enjoyed your work and subscribed.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
+Ryan Hollinger Thanks a lot man! Just checked out your channel for the first time and it seems like it was absolutely made for someone like me, so have a mutual subscription!
@stephencroft1612
@stephencroft1612 2 года назад
my two favorite youtubers interact omg
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
Wow, the reaction to this video has been incredibly positive and I really am glad that it seems to have resonated with people. Thanks so much to everyone that has watched and commented - really means a lot. New videos hopefully coming more regularly again soon.
@haldir108
@haldir108 8 лет назад
+Writing on Games I'm glad dark souls helped you claw your way out of the hole, but for me, the "larger than life" successes, trimuphs and achievements in the game, became a comfortable thing, and being one of the things that i isolated myself with. Instead of helping me face the real world, it became an immersive refuge from the things i dreaded were out there. I dug myself deeper into the hole, and said myself content with the game. Even after beginning to claw myself out of the deep dark hole, dark souls was one of the things that stopped me from investing more energy and time into doing healthy things like physical activity, going outside, or socializing. It was an illusion being a half-step. I'd tell myself "I played videogames all day, but at least i didn't spend all of today in bed watching netflix" as if it was somehow a more productive activity. This probably would have been the same with any game as engrossing as Dark Souls, but the sheer immersiveness, and total flight from reality is something i've never found anywhere else.
@makbadgam
@makbadgam 8 лет назад
I've always wondered exactly how to put my value of this game in words. Thanks for your hard work and insight from the vid. Fav + Subscribe :)
@pragmat1k
@pragmat1k 8 лет назад
Why so surprised? It's well written, well narrated, and well composed. :) Great job.
@giocommentary
@giocommentary 7 лет назад
dude... just wow... I can not explain this.. I was discussing with some friends on teamspeak why DS1 and DS3 are way better then DS2 and however i tried i could not voice or say it the way i wanted, i could not explain why these two games touched me so much more. then i came across your channel, and the way you describe Dark souls effects your life is exactly the point i was trying to convey. Thank you for your channel and vids, i am stunned listening to your voice and watching your vids, i have been coping with major depression and a severe form of ADD, i've almost never succeeded in something in my life, school was hell, and even now i'm still only a few steps to a brighter future, but now i understand how much dark souls has helped me! have a sub and a patron you deserve it so much!
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
Thank you so much for the lovely words! Really means a lot. I never bothered turning community subtitles on because I didn't think anyone would be interested, but if you are then I shall remedy that immediately! Thanks again.
@GordonGarvey
@GordonGarvey 8 лет назад
You have to keep going no matter how hard that boss is and eventually you will defeat them.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
100%.
@hamzakhairi4765
@hamzakhairi4765 6 лет назад
Except manus fuck manus
@river7874
@river7874 7 лет назад
Take my subscription, please. This video is exactly what I needed, and your words and experiences may have very well just saved a life today. It forced me to look at the larger picture of my life and realize that while I'm not making progress on a level that other people find acceptable, as long as I continue to endure, learn, and grow, then it doesn't matter what they think. So now, after a good and much needed cry, I'm going the fuck outside. Thank you.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
The River Wolf so glad my words could help you!
@HexPLAYSPlus
@HexPLAYSPlus 7 лет назад
You're never alone, man. People care about you even though I know it feels like nothing and nobody does. Take care.
@river7874
@river7874 2 года назад
@@WritingOnGames They did. Immensely. I came back to re-watch this video because I hadn't seen in in quite some time and I had mentioned it to a good friend of mine this morning(He doesn't like the SoulsBorne series, and didn't understand why I enjoyed them so much. This video is perfect for explaining why I am this obsessed with the series. Lol) Completely forgetting that I had left this comment during a pretty bad time. So, I'm alive, and doing significantly better than I was four years ago. (And thank you too, Kondore. I appreciate the kind words.)
@Swift_LN
@Swift_LN 7 лет назад
"even if I didn't have a concrete goal in mind, as long as I was working to make sure that I could see the joy of life, then that was good enough" Thank you.
@egirlSkeletor
@egirlSkeletor 7 лет назад
I didn't come across Dark Souls at such a massively important part of my life but as someone who is struggling with anxiety and depression. I've found that one of the things i get the most joy from in Souls games is being a sunbro. I always imagine myself as being that guy who helped someone beat a boss they'd been at for hours on end, and I helped them achieve their goal. Because we've all been in that spot before. I can't count the amount of time I spent with my gloriously incandescent sign dropped outside ornstien and smough. Thanks for the great video. Praise the Sun!
@wanada6938
@wanada6938 7 лет назад
Praise the sunbros Bro.
@paulollarsabaiii9824
@paulollarsabaiii9824 7 лет назад
friendlySkeletor Amen, sunbro.
@ethynd
@ethynd 4 года назад
Praise the sun :)
@Serafin0707
@Serafin0707 4 года назад
Sun bro 4 life!
@konodioda1268
@konodioda1268 2 года назад
Someone helped me with that fight earlier today after spending probably 50+ attempts on it.
@levelupthworld
@levelupthworld 7 лет назад
I've been depressed for more than 10 years now and we have the same experiences from playing Dark Souls. You just eloquently placed it into awesome words!
@JTisOneCrazyMan20
@JTisOneCrazyMan20 6 лет назад
Dango Man same here bud
@auroracane5450
@auroracane5450 5 лет назад
I hope you got passed it and life is good now :)
@ricotheexmongolianslave692
@ricotheexmongolianslave692 5 лет назад
Strange how a difficult game that guarantees alot of deaths has prevented deaths in real life
@thestray9084
@thestray9084 8 лет назад
you GOT GUD brother. I hope you GIT more GUD. :)
@afoninja121
@afoninja121 8 лет назад
slow clap
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
the best use of that phrase I can think of - thanks!
@matteopriotto5131
@matteopriotto5131 4 года назад
GIT GUDER
@Jadelren
@Jadelren 7 лет назад
My favorite video on the internet. I don't know if you'll see this, but if you do, just thank you.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
No, thank YOU.
@definitelynotanAIchatbot
@definitelynotanAIchatbot 6 лет назад
Dark Souls really instilled in me an attitude of "never give up." Great video.
@matteopriotto5131
@matteopriotto5131 4 года назад
Yeah, as I like to say, in Dark Souls the golden rule is "don't be greedy", the platinum rule is "GIT GUD" and then there's the ultra platinum rule "never ever ever give up, ever"
@royceburger7929
@royceburger7929 11 месяцев назад
Dont be greedy? Can you elaborate on that
@definitelynotanAIchatbot
@definitelynotanAIchatbot 11 месяцев назад
@@royceburger7929 Stop replying to my 5 year old comments. It's kinda creepy.
@AluminumFusion22
@AluminumFusion22 10 месяцев назад
​@@royceburger7929It could apply to the narrative and the gameplay. Narrative-wise, it works because the only reason Lordran exists in its current state in Dark Souls is due to Gwyn's greed. He wasn't willing to let the flame die out and lose his power, and so he ushered in the Age of Cinder, one of perpetual death and suffering. It could also work in gameplay as the player must develop the skill of choosing battles, as attempting to fight enemies that outmatch you will result in you losing your Souls. It could be applied to risking your life for insignificant amounts of Souls if you died the first time; sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
@MooncrafterUTAU
@MooncrafterUTAU 8 лет назад
I'm amazed that while we both have very similar conditions right down to the OCD, we walked away with completely different reactions to the game. I was hospitalized two years ago for a suicide "attempt" (I had gone to a doctor wanting a referral for a psychiatrist, misunderstanding of self-harm compulsion ended up me being committed for a week), and that experience for me was far more traumatizing than my surviving swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills the next morning. I had no agency. I had to go where others wanted me to be to even be allowed back home. No privacy for sleeping. Strip-searched, and completely robbed of the one thing that helped me combat depression. Pencils. Depression took art from me, or rather, still has taken it from me. Sleep is plagued by chronic nightmares, trauma terrors (a type of night terror), and sleep paralysis. Even taking the barest of minimum of classes for Uni it's everything I can do to keep my head above water and even then I just want to drop out and try starting over anew, knowing full well that it really isn't an option to drop out at this point and being this close to finally graduating. Video games give me those little glimpses of accomplishment that I need to get through the day but at the same time takes away time from music composition and my character designs in sketchbooks. Whenever my OCD fixates on a game, it feels wonderful to do well.... right up until that moment that I remember that I'm wasting my talent. I'm siting there on the couch, having barely eaten and forcing myself to shower playing a game for 8+ hours straight when I could be working on commissions. Completing "actual" achievements that help me in the real world. Nasty cycle, but you know from experience no doubt how it goes. So when I picked up DS1 for the first time last month wanting to know what was the big deal, I fell in love with it. Obsessively played it even after dying. Re-created my character a few times to make sure I did the best I absolutely could in the world so desperately out to get me just for breathing in the wrong hallway. Then the narrative hit me. Nothing I did mattered in this world. It wouldn't matter if I made the choice to save characters, they were all going to suffer regardless. Extending the Age of Fire didn't even matter; someone else would eventually come to fulfill the prophecy in my place. Ultimately, I don't matter was what I took from the game and what my illness reminds me of on a regular basis. I'm still having a hard time getting back to playing the game. It brings up emotions that are hard to deal with, especially having gone through 8 different medications in 2 years trying to find something that works enough to let me do the rest of the hard work. (No dice yet) But your video honestly is making me want to give it another try soon. Albeit under careful watch of the loving spouse to make sure those OCD fits don't consume my life as much. I don't know if the game itself will help me combat my suicidal depression, but the game with your experience shared I think will definitely do more good than harm in the long run. Thank you so much for making this video., I don't think I can emphasize enough how much your words have helped.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
That's a hell of a story man - thanks so much for sharing it. Definitely an interesting perspective - it's fascinating to see how for some people the nihilism of the narrative makes them feel worse about their condition, but for me I found it very comforting. a lot of my issues with depression are rooted in severe self-esteem issues and a compulsion to compare myself to others. What DS showed me was that it didn't matter how others in the world viewed me - ultimately they were as insignificant as me, and so I might as well live my life as best as I can purely for myself as opposed to constantly worrying that I'll never amount to anything in comparison to others. As long as I am able to better myself through learning and experience, then that is valuable in itself, no matter if it means I perhaps don't have the social stature of someone with a better job or more money or whatever. I hope that makes some amount of sense - essentially you just need to do what's right for you. If Dark Souls isn't the game to help with your illness then that's OK! If this video made you think differently about the game in that regard though, then I'm so happy to have facilitated that for you. Seriously, thank you for sharing your story.
@MooncrafterUTAU
@MooncrafterUTAU 8 лет назад
Writing on Games I think it comes down to different backgrounds. For me, I was repeatedly told I was spoiled for wanting to be treated like a human being by both of my parents. Nihilism just reminds me a lot of the "I'm so disappointed in you" speeches I got growing up.That said, shows like Criminal Minds that break apart mental illness into easy to digest facts help me cope with my mental illness even when it delves into extremely dark narratives such as child victims of serial murderers. I can see where the unsub (unknown subject) had similar symptoms and let it run rampant or went without help. I can identify behaviors to avoid and to fix. All depends on the source I think for the mental illness on what actually helps. That said, after my comment that I left on this video, I HAVE been able to get back into DS, at least the first game anyways. Still stuck at Sen's Fortress lol. Stupid snake people keep woopin my butt. I don't have the same depression trigger with the game as I did before your video, and I wanted to let you know that your words helped even at least one gamer.
@andrewhayden9896
@andrewhayden9896 4 года назад
I always saw the "nothing matters" idea of the game as something truly special. That idea reinforces the fact that the world doesn't give a shit, and that you shouldn't give a shit that the world is that way. You say fuck the world and carve your way through in spite of the world. This game really helped me with a shitty part of my life, it's a shame that it can have the reverse effect on some peeps.
@MooncrafterUTAU
@MooncrafterUTAU 4 года назад
Personne Ici it’s been a few years but I’ve been getting better; went through a few more medications before I found something that worked and have since combined it with CBD use now that hemp is legal in my state. My husband and I love playing this game together as a drinking game when we have the spare time. I still can’t afford a psychologist but my psychiatrist has been taking excellent care of me - boosted by our moving out of a major city from when I originally commented on this video. And I FINALLY managed to beat Sen’s Fortress last year :D
@lukkkasz323
@lukkkasz323 2 года назад
@@MooncrafterUTAU Did you finally beat the game? ;)
@okeisgoe2
@okeisgoe2 7 лет назад
What you're telling is well thought out. The problem with most depressed people is that they don't realize it themselves, or don't want to realize it themselves, and that's what many people don't understand. You can say to them whatever you want, but at the end of the day it's them who have to realize it. I've heard other stories about how people realized that they wanted to live and fight because of Dark Souls: Prepare to Die, and it makes me sentimental every time. Keep up the great work man, I have faith in you.
@OnlyRoke
@OnlyRoke 7 лет назад
and depression bears this stigma of "No, I am not crazy! Please, don't think of me as depressed!" which doesn't make it easier for depressed people to just admit it.
@okeisgoe2
@okeisgoe2 7 лет назад
OnlyRoke Exactly
@Droid15243Z
@Droid15243Z 7 лет назад
OnlyRoke The first step is to admit it. I have long ago, now that shadow is part of me. I coexist with my self criticism and use it as a stepping stone to better myself. I refuse to die.
@modernotaku1764
@modernotaku1764 7 лет назад
I had a similar experience about a year ago, but instead of with depression, it was me dealing with the consequences of a mistake. I had been expelled from a college that I had been wanting to go to for pretty much half of my life, and while I was still able to go to a different college, It wasn't the same, and it felt grayer, colder, and less exciting than my first experience. I was stuck looking for a new job since I was now living at home rather than on campus and my parents would never let me live in the same place without at least getting a part time job to help myself get along. The problem arose when I would apply for a large number of places, only to be rejected by a few, and then flat out ignored by every other position I applied for. It didn't help that it was after the holiday season, so few jobs were actually looking for people to hire at the time. Then during that down time (of which I had a lot of) I continued playing video games a lot. Now I had bought Dark Souls back around the time DS2 was still the newest game, so I had played a good bit of it already, and then during my time at the college I was at I picked it up again for a second go, but it wasn't until this latest time that I persevered. Instead of giving up when it got hard, or refusing to play just because I didn't know what I was doing, I kept going, knowing that I could do it, because I had done it before. This even helped me with life as I refused to give up and finally got a job at the place that not only was the first people to reject Me, but also was the place I had wanted to get a job at since I was in High School. I was doing good, I persevered in both life and in the game and soon enough, I found myself at the Knight Artorias boss fight. My first time playing, I could not beat him, no matter how hard I tried, and I actually gave up on trying and just went and beat Gwyn. I'm still a little mad at myself for that, because, like in life, it showed that I tried to skip the hard part, and I missed out on a great thing (in this case the great DLC) because of it. Finally, just a few days ago, now on NG+ I finally made it through my second time playing all of dark souls, and instead of giving up, I took on Artorias and I beat him after multiple failures. It was difficult, it was frustrating, and it made me want to quit, but I knew if I did, it would just loom over me again. Now I'm secured in my job, I now mostly know what I'm going to do with my future, and I'm doing great with school, and all this as I'm playing a game that shows me that life is unforgiving, sometimes very difficult, and not always clear on what way you need to go, but I learned that you can't give up, you can always beat a challenge no matter how difficult (if people can really beat these bosses without leveling up once I think I can find a job!) and that if I really can't do it on my own, there's always someone who can help me. (Unless it's certain bosses that don't have NPC summons..... In which case I just don't give up!) thanks for such a great video! Sorry to talk so long, but it's great to get that out there. I'm glad to know that you're doing better and It's really reassuring to see that other people have also suffered in certain areas but have still persevered in ways similar to my own.
@nepnep5853
@nepnep5853 7 лет назад
Glad to see someone else had a similar experience Depression sucks, but it's something I don't regret going through. I came out noticeably stronger than before, and I was able to move on to a more fruitful way to live.
@conradborba4324
@conradborba4324 7 лет назад
You are one of the most well spoken people that I have ever seen on RU-vid, and I could listen to you for hours
@ackten2521
@ackten2521 7 лет назад
Conrad Borba try collossaliacrazy on youtube
@rebelpoxy
@rebelpoxy 7 лет назад
Try reading the manga called Berserk, if you like Dark Souls. It's the main inspiration for the Souls games, and it's one hell of a manga with pretty much the same themes as the games.
@speedyshiteflapsongrannysp1121
You don't say
@LowHimari
@LowHimari 7 лет назад
Omg yes....
@LowHimari
@LowHimari 7 лет назад
If you think you've got problems, just imagine yourself as Guts, and then, smile to life XD
@Tenebris8444
@Tenebris8444 6 лет назад
Did you put your grasses on whilst watching the whole show though
@ridleyroid9060
@ridleyroid9060 6 лет назад
Not really. It's about as accurate as possible. Dark Souls is basically a licensed berserk game in disguise.
@DetectiveKen
@DetectiveKen 6 лет назад
Around the time Bloodborne came out, I had a realisation that these games provided me comfort in my times of need. I started the first Dark Souls at a point I was really struggling and last year I put hours and hours into the Dark Souls 3 platinum trophy when my life had effectively fallen apart. I've been playing Bloodborne again thanks to the recent surge because it's free and I've been deep diving again, realising how still depressed I am a year after my life fell apart and I have not rebuilt it. A few days ago, I shared these feelings publicly, to a resounding silence. Today, this video magically appeared in my feed and I'm thankful to see I'm not alone in the comfort these games bring me. Praise the Sun.
@samuelroe3908
@samuelroe3908 7 лет назад
This video held an important reminder for me. Dark Souls did much the same thing for me when I first started playing it, and there were points where I wanted to quit, and even did so for a short time (Ornstein & Smough were impossible for the first character I reached them with). Eventually I jumped back into the game, determined to overcome. Now, years later, I'm finally starting to live my dream, and though the depression is still there, it's dulled by the knowledge and experience I obtained from playing Dark Souls. I thought I was resigned to a mundane life of working in food service, and that I'd be trapped there until I decided to finally end it for myself. Dark Souls taught me that I already had the skillset to become a writer, and all I needed to do was to keep working at it. Thank you for sharing your experience.
@dapperdan530
@dapperdan530 7 лет назад
I haven't been to as dark a place as you have, but I cope with depression and anxiety. For a long time I thought I was crazy thinking that these games help a great deal in coping with this illness. Thank you for sharing so publicly what you have dealt with. Your bravery in doing so has touched my life and I know without a doubt that numerous others have benefited from it. At the end of the day I hope you remember that. I hope the fact that you have helped us comes full circle and helps you some day. You deserve success and happiness and it might not be a lot, but one more subscriber for as long as RU-vid is a thing my friend. PRAISE THE MOTHERFUCKING SUN SCRUBS!
@firedragon11122
@firedragon11122 7 лет назад
I never suffered from depression, but I been there for friends who had suffered from it, but is really heartwarming to hear the dark souls games are helping people get over depression is really awesome,to everyone who's is deal with depression, know the love and joy never leaves your life, and only comes in different form, life and joy is everywhere just look for it my friends, much love and hugs! , and praise the sun my friends! 😊
@0zz1k5
@0zz1k5 4 года назад
AS someone suffering from depression it should be noted that having friends like you is rare as most people tend to disappear. But you must understand that depression is how the brain then rewires itself . You never get over it. You learn to beat it...again and again. Not everyday is a good day. Not every day is a bad day. You deal with what you got and try to make the most of it. You however never "get over depression" But keep the faith and don't you dare go hollow.
@firedragon11122
@firedragon11122 4 года назад
@@0zz1k5 keep up the good attitude my friend, you never alone if you need some encouraging words don't hesitate to ask, much love to you
@QuiteTheKetch
@QuiteTheKetch 7 лет назад
I know i'm a year late to the party but I've been working my way through the backlog of this channel after recently finding it and I just wanted to say as someone who struggles with mental illness and suicidal ideation this video means a lot to me. While Dark Souls was not my savior in that time, there were video games that helped me cope and recover and this subject is something dear to my heart. Your ability to talk openly about this is a beacon for me as well as I still struggle with this issues. I guess what I'm trying to say in so many words is: Thank you.
@zacharycappoli623
@zacharycappoli623 7 лет назад
You have truly helped me in my life with this video. We have shared a number of struggles in our own lives and because of that, your perspective has really stayed with me. You also put into words exactly how I feel about my favorite games. I appreciate your strength of character and your conviction in all of your videos. You've inspired a bit more genuine hope in my life. Thanks man.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
zachary cappoli aw, you've made me incredibly happy with this message. Thanks so much for watching and for keeping on going. Merry Christmas!
@lupotiamo4887
@lupotiamo4887 7 лет назад
I agree, Dark Souls 1 has helped refine who i am today. Last year in 2014 in August I was dianosied with genetic serve maijor depression and the things that come with it. I was 20, throughout the time my first appoiments were set out pretty far. I didn't work and wasn't in college; i was just a hermit. I decided to pick up Dark souls and play it. I was so in engalf by it and was amazed by something for the first time out of a while. Also, I felt like i accomplished something personally; which was the most purest joy i ever had. As the year progress i didn't play it for a while because my ex fiance got addicted too. As the time passed near Setmeber 2016 I attempted sucided, it should have been certain death but my body wanted to live (No Pity because I have learned also i don't like pity) Once I recovered I decied to play it again. This time saw how much in common I had in the game. I played and played, over and over to defeat anything that set in my path to set get my mind in a state of enough is enough. To become "Hollow" or to "Kindle my soul". A lot of does fit with mental illness but like you said makes you get better at defeating and pushing forward in a postive manner,
@braxton9192
@braxton9192 7 лет назад
I NEEDED this... i needed to see this... and honestly this makes me want to pick up a copy of this game... this was an awesome video you have a new sub
@matthelion
@matthelion 5 лет назад
BedHeadPhil - So... did you pick it up?
@everawed4487
@everawed4487 4 года назад
*steals the sub-sandwich cuz I'm HUNGER* :|
@Eddie-gv4wj
@Eddie-gv4wj 7 лет назад
This video was insightful, truthful and inspiring. And Hamish (sorry for spelling) I do hope that things are much better now. And I really do hope you have a bright future ahead of you.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
Thank you so much! Things are definitely looking up for me right now. For the record, you got my name absolutely right :)
@Eddie-gv4wj
@Eddie-gv4wj 7 лет назад
I'm happy to hear! And I kinda freaked out a little when I saw you saw the comment and replied. And I also commented on your 5k subscriber video and saw you had some epic hair!
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
Ha, a lot of people tell me they're shocked that I reply to comments and stuff - I dunno, if someone has taken the time to express their gratitude then I feel it's only right that I reply. Lately it's been pretty hard because the channel has grown pretty quickly and it's just been a stressful week in general, but I'm still reading them all. I'm glad you like my hair too!
@Eddie-gv4wj
@Eddie-gv4wj 7 лет назад
Well you definitely deserver the channel growing bigger each day! And I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say we appreciate you reading and replaying to the comments! Hope the week get's better! Your fans are here for you!
@theunnamedknight9342
@theunnamedknight9342 6 лет назад
So beautiful. I love this. I’m late to the party. But can we all get a hug?
@BossDD3
@BossDD3 7 лет назад
I'm glad Dark Souls helped you out... It helped me out as well, mainly because it forced me to engage in situations where I may not have the upper hand, and have a good time doing it, learning to cut my losses. Every victory feels really genuine.
@benatpc
@benatpc 7 лет назад
I'm a bit late here, but just wanted to thank you for sharing this. You're an inspiration man!
@sandrostutz6143
@sandrostutz6143 7 лет назад
Thought the same :)
@jerrylthesekar4668
@jerrylthesekar4668 7 лет назад
Seeing this made me feel what you meant. I haven't fully explored any of the Souls games but I would spend hours listening to lore. I can see where you come from with this ideal. A similar occurance happened to me when I was younger. I was 13-ish and Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games had been released. Being the young little fanboy I was I got the game straight away. You could say the game or plot is cheesy or childish, but at the time I had a struggle with personal identity and connection with other people. At the time I hadn't actually gotten close to anyone other than family, and was a constant victim of beatings, bullying, and even a stabbing at that age. I hadn't known what to believe or tell myself at that age, but the game taught me quick. I gathered that "I might be apart from or different from those around me, but that gives me no excuse to remain a victim or a bystander. I can be who I want to be and I shouldn't be hurt by what people I don't care about do." I used to be the weepiest kid who would cry at every little thing, but around that time I grew up quick. It wasn't till highschool that I started making friends (Eventually I was the most well known and well treated kid in the school in senior year. It was a small graduating class though). I can't say that I had ever reached a point like you did, but I have had rough times before. I'm glad to hear that you managed to get out of that, and seeing the reaction from the comment section, I hope everyone manages to overcome their personal struggles.
@Phantosification
@Phantosification 7 лет назад
It stands to reason that if I could fight and never give up to help a world as hopelessly bleak as the one the Dark Souls games take place in, then maybe it's worth it to give the world I live in a fair fight.
@omarlezama7890
@omarlezama7890 8 лет назад
This guy is absolutely brilliant, he definitely deserves a lot more subs than he has, he's sure has earned mine
@bigmanstevens592
@bigmanstevens592 7 лет назад
Most important to me is the message or meaning of dark souls is wellbalanced and subtle. It doesn't cram it down your throat, which would turn me off of it being as cynical as I am
@SingerSaraneth
@SingerSaraneth 7 лет назад
Just found this channel, and I couldn't be happier. your thoughts on this series mirror mine exactly, but I haven't been articulated enough to express it. thank you so much for this, and all of your videos.
@JoshinoGaming
@JoshinoGaming 8 лет назад
Fantastic commentary, and as someone else who suffers from depression, keep strong! :) To anyone else suffering don't be afraid to reach out, be sure to talk to your GP/DR, seek out local mental health charities or talk to someone close. It is hard to tackle mental health problems when they can be so illogical relative to the norm, but video games have a place in keeping people active, giving purpose and away from the demons that might chase them.
@chromaticprogress7513
@chromaticprogress7513 8 лет назад
This resonated so deeply with me, especially since I am both diagnosed with depressive and anxiety disorders and a huge fan of video games and the Dark Souls series in particular. You have described in this video how it has helped me cope as well. Please know that you're not alone and I admire you for continuing to fight your demons. In terms of what you phrased as "affirmative nihilism", if you haven't already been exposed to it, you should look into the philosophy of absurdism and, in particular, Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus". I think you will relate heavily to the ideas and conclusions expressed within it.
@aesnyder92
@aesnyder92 8 лет назад
this is a really thoughtful and personal video. thanks for your strength to relate your own struggle. I too suffer from depression and found dark souls to be a consistently frustrating, yet satisfying game on a philosophical level. In fact I enjoy the lore videos and player movies more than I do actually playing the game. The culture of death and rebirth and the cyclical nature of life that's espoused in these games is really comforting and while it usually eats up vast amounts of my personal time, I really enjoy the kind of people this game attracts. cheers man great vid, thanks for making me feel better :)
@Ahrpigi
@Ahrpigi 8 месяцев назад
This is one of a few videos about Dark Souls and depression that I come back to again and again. Thank you so much for making this and sharing your experience.
@aronbarco1314
@aronbarco1314 7 лет назад
I too have a black dog chained to my neck and Dark Souls helped me get through bad times. I'm brazilian, and when I played DS I had just moved to the UK during autumn, for studies -- my first northern cold winter, which fucked-up my sleep patterns so I was never seeing the sun, alone in a strange land -- perfect conditions for my years-old-depression to rapidly take control. But, fortunately, I had Dark Souls. And after weeks fighting through it, hidden from the world in my tiny flat, DS helped me figure out both how hard it is to get through the trenches of everyday life just to get one step closer of achieving long-term goals, but also how there is an immense joy in pulling out your best for that reason. Boss after boss, with zero hand-holding, DS teaches you that struggling/striving isn't so bad; if you hold on long enough, it’s rewarding. (By the way, after I finished DS I went to see Edinburgh, which I loved, there I met great people also traveling the world alone).
@nobleactual6876
@nobleactual6876 7 лет назад
I can relate this game also helped me deal with depression back in 2015
@AngelicBeatdown
@AngelicBeatdown 7 лет назад
hang in there
@reignjuste
@reignjuste 8 лет назад
Best game ever.definitely helps you achieve difficult goals in life.It teaches you that failing is part of the process to become something and if you can't deal with that you will be sitting at the same bone fire for your whole life.
@OnlyRoke
@OnlyRoke 7 лет назад
As somebody who recently discovered that he might actually have depressions as well.. thank you for this video. You gave me a perspective and some newfound insight. You might be onto something with your "little steps" theory. It's something I want to try out, because there is a lot of stuff that is objectively wrong with me. I don't want to slog through life like this anymore, especially since I'm even starting to irk the ones who are closest to me by being bitter and cynical towards myself. I'll just have to take it one step at a time and succeed. I'm glad I found your channel and I'll keep watching your stuff.
@archer1116
@archer1116 5 лет назад
I come back to this video pretty much every couple of months and it always makes me think. This video really affected me and continues to make me think about my own mental health. Great video, very well put and thought provoking.
@SH19922x
@SH19922x 7 лет назад
This is absolutely brilliant, i feel as though the exact same vibe captured me after playing the souls games, i would even go as far as saying it decreased my overall fear and paranoia about the real world in general. It just really takes you back to square one' this game. There is really something strange about soulsborne and the witcher that really changed my whole entire outlook on life, and the way i percieve people that inhabit my social domain.
@SH19922x
@SH19922x 7 лет назад
It feels healthy to struggle in a world of strange dispicable creatures and weird creepy humans in a desolate unforgiving world, i feel it makes you extremely self aware and understanding of human nature itself in a way.
@Garl_Vinland
@Garl_Vinland 7 лет назад
Dark Souls helped me cope with Suicidal depression. Bloodborne brought me back into suicidal depression.
@k1awdttt
@k1awdttt 7 лет назад
Garl Vinland Oh man, I thought you would be happier now you have a doll maiden to watch over... Ditch your shield stance, embrace the hammer!
@Garl_Vinland
@Garl_Vinland 7 лет назад
Everyone dies regardless of what you do in the game, and in the end, you're stuck in an eternal cycle of nightmares. Even Yharnam Sunrise is considered to be a false ending.
@Keon994
@Keon994 7 лет назад
Have you done the "secret" ending?
@milkymontana5221
@milkymontana5221 5 лет назад
This had literally just happened with me and I had never been able to put to words how it has helped me and I now have his video to send to people when I can't explain it! Thank you so much
@grahamcammack479
@grahamcammack479 5 лет назад
Hi Hamish. I just want you to know that this video helped me a great deal. Not only that, but I'm currently dating a schoolteacher who is looking to show this vid to the kids in her class. She works with kids who are suffering with various disorders, and you completely nailed a lot of things. I'll let you know how it goes, but I want you to understand that I completely get where you're coming from, and I want to thank k you for this vid. You have a purpose my friend, and by making this vid you've helped me more than you'll ever know, and hopefully these kids as well. Good on you, fella.
@baraczvs.avermedia9058
@baraczvs.avermedia9058 8 лет назад
Hi! Same story here. Me, hollowing as a depression sneaks in, playing dark souls, not letting my player character go hollow. The way it drove me to fight no matter the circumstances. The game discovered my inside fire, and I converted it to my real life, not just Dark Souls. Right now, 2 years after first depression coped with Dark Souls, I am moving out, have a fiancee, have a positive mindset, and so on. Glad I am not the only one, whos life was affected positively by Dark Souls. Not trying to be cringy here, but Dark Souls helped me become a fighter, defeating the obstacles in my life. It's like Dark Souls world and my Chosen Undead roleplayed through my mind. Cheers
@sheriffbubba5876
@sheriffbubba5876 7 лет назад
Judging from the quality, before i saw the views and subscribers i thought this was a 300k subs channel. But you still have less than 10k, how?
@savespycrab
@savespycrab 5 лет назад
I discovered your channel with this video during the Time i was playing dark souls too. You find words on something I could't explained. I keep returning in this video when I m very low due to my own depression and now, i feel like this video is helping me through very bad times. I just want to thank you for this
@stealthmanguy
@stealthmanguy 8 лет назад
Watching this video makes me want to cry from feeling connected to someone but being in my current situation I don't cry easily at all. I always "know" that there are others who feel/have felt the same as me (and obviously worse) but that thought doesn't help much until you actually see someone talk about it. I love Dark Souls, and this video and your ability to communicate your thoughts is certainly helpful. Thank you for making this video.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
I feel ya man, it can definitely be tough to actually rationalise in your head that other people are going through what you are because it is such a isolatory experience. When you have the evidence in front of you though (seeing other people share their experiences, like you say) then it becomes much harder for your mind to argue with that. Thanks so much for watching and stay strong!
@PhyreI3ird
@PhyreI3ird 7 лет назад
OMFG I LOVE THIS VIDEO SO MUCH!!!! I haven't finished it yet but so much of what you've already said is what I've found so wonderful about the game but you have put everything so much more beautifully than I ever did. I dont normally repeat the points videos make especially when they're made so much better than I can put them so I wont even bother reciting the similarities but well I don't know if you make this point later in the vid (I just absolutely had to share before I forget by the end of it so here I go with something, lol) I absolutely love - like you said - how indifferent the world is to you but also above that, is how it gives you NO meaning and virtually NO purpose to keep fighting once the difficulty seems too great and instead thrusts you into a position of needing to find it yourself, otherwise you lose all drive and effectively become "Hollow" by not playing anymore For me the meaning became figuring out what happened and fighting to learn and get a true grasp and ultimately understand the world. Which now that I think about it is ABSURDLY fitting for me as a person as I very very recently (like just a month ago) came to the personal discovery that, ever since I was *very* little, that attaining understanding of the universe at large and forming connections between myself and the world and even other people through any means I can, has been what's always driven me... I had to share before finishing the vid cuz my head was about to explode with all that XD
@PhyreI3ird
@PhyreI3ird 7 лет назад
Also you do make a pretty cool point of how trivialized death becomes but I think you missed an interesting parallel (perhaps you could say metaphor through mechanics). Just think what is the game doing each time it tells you, "You Died" it's saying and making a point of your failure in whatever the fuck situation you were just in and it's saying, "You Failed" and that feeling becomes so crushing sometimes and it often even keeps some people from playing on, despite how utterly _irrational_ that is, because the game tricks you and deceives you into thinking it's taken something from you and that you've truly lost while it's honestly all in your head (well maybe *_all_* is an overstatement but I hope the point still stands) and it takes the player coming to terms with failure (aka seeing the triviality you mentioned here) to find the true strength to go on and the courage to take real risks (risks that often bear the true rewards through the series like all the useful items, gear, and _unbelievably_ helpful Npcs), and many people don't see this and are so crushed by failure that they limit themselves to stagnant, fearful states of being limiting what they can truly get from life/the game. God _FUCKING_ damn I love how easy it is to talk for hours about every little facet of this game! It's so fucking cool xD *drools happily like an idiot*
@IndieBytes
@IndieBytes 8 лет назад
This is a really good story, you deliver it well, and I really dig your view on this. I don't think our views are actually very different at all, I just pointed out the connections in a slightly different way and focused on different aspects. Thanks for telling me about this :)
@Ceb773
@Ceb773 7 лет назад
Amazing video man. I totally agree with the spectres at the bonfire. It's really relieving to see them, see the people who failed around you in the bloodstains, and to see the summoning signs.
@ajnightcrawler
@ajnightcrawler 3 года назад
Wow! This video is so prevalent toward my own feelings right now. I have battled with a lot of what you described throughout my life, and the dark cloud (as I like to call it) is very heavy once again at this moment in time. I've only just finished uni (which in itself was one of the hardest moments of my life), and not getting anywhere with jobs of late; I keep getting no left right and centre, which, although you try not to let it, does have an impact on your mental health. I've been playing a lot of dark souls recently and have found all the things you have spoken about within the game. It is nice not to feel so alone; especially when depression makes you crawl further in to the dark and away from others. Thanks for this video. I'm now a subscriber
@coyotegene86
@coyotegene86 8 лет назад
Fantastic video! Summed up exactly how a game can connect on different levels than what we might expect. Good life lessons too. Thanks.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
Thank you for watching!
@Fulcrum96
@Fulcrum96 7 лет назад
Dark Souls did the same thing and means the same thing for me, and I'm glad someone else sees it the same way.
@nathanbabble1976
@nathanbabble1976 5 лет назад
Your experience is strikingly similar to my own. Really glad you made this video, it’s very encouraging to hear someone talking about this kind of experience with life. I’ve found for myself personally is that despite how hard it was in the midst of my own existential crisis/darkness, nothing has been more beautiful in my own life then the appreciation for life when I went through my turning point(also attempted suicide) and came out of it. It’s amazing how alone you can feel only to find out there are so many people who’ve gone through or are going through the same thing. Thanks man, very encouraging
@nickycocaine
@nickycocaine 7 лет назад
This video is fantastic. I had the same issues as you did when I was younger. And Dark Souls was one of the many motivators that made me want to fix my life. Thanks for sharing your story man. I'm glad your perspective has changed so much. Just listening to you speak about this stuff makes me feel proud of not only myself, but you as well. It's always wonderful to hear a story about how somebody kicked depression's ass.
@joshuabrown7815
@joshuabrown7815 6 лет назад
Something I think that I have found is that the lack of purpose can be a big factor in depression. Thus, I personally believe that religion (particularly Christianity, and even Buddhism though it is more of a philosophy, due to its focus on the next two points and its simple lifelong goal) philanthropy, and kindness to others are some great cures for it.
@k4dumangamer
@k4dumangamer 7 лет назад
Don't know if you still reading these comments, but it happened the exact same way to me, I'm young for such a depression (and I was depressed for real not like those teenagers these days). But this game shown me that what I need to do to succeed in life is to believe myself, if I found an obstacle I should fight it and try to be better than I am now, I still come back to this game just to have a look at Sif's story, maybe Solaire's, and Queelag and her sister's friendship. it was in that time that I met my best friend too, she's awesome. anyways, hope you read this heh, byes!
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 7 лет назад
I read every comment that gets left and I really try my best to respond to everyone but it sometimes gets difficult on videos like this especially. I'm really glad you got such a positive experience from the game!
@kernoleary1394
@kernoleary1394 7 лет назад
"'im young for such a depression (and I was depressed for real not like those teenagers these days). " Oh good for you . I hope you know tons of people are depressed and you can never guess whats going on in peoples lives. Not everyone likes to air out their shit.
@auroracane5450
@auroracane5450 5 лет назад
Yea you obviously learned nothing talking shit about today’s teenager depression that’s fucking rude you have no right to say what there going trough is nothing
@chillednshit
@chillednshit 4 года назад
I was battling with pretty severe depression and poor physical health the last few years. My relationship fell apart and I hit a low for all of 2018, probably the most real my depression or suicidality has ever been. I pushed through though and booked a ticket overseas. I travelled and volunteered and I was getting better, until, my health deteriorated. Unfortunately I had to return home after six months, and despite acknowledging how lucky I am to even have the opportunity to travel for so long, cutting my trip short and stepping back into my struggles back home and this time with chronic illness I was prepared to really hit a low. But, I'm relishing in it, I'm learning from all of these experiences and growing. And, finally getting around to playing Dark Souls is affirming all these notions. Fucking brilliant video mate, amazing game. I'm so excited to finish off Gwyn (hopefully today) and go grab Dark Souls 2. 🙌🏻
@mau_lopez
@mau_lopez 5 лет назад
What a great video! Your bravery on talking about a personal experience with deep depression is absolutely inspiring, and the relationship to Dark Souls came out to be really interesting. Thanks for sharing, best wishes of well being for you dude !!!
@000Orkarnikolla000
@000Orkarnikolla000 8 лет назад
I haven't watched a lot of your videos, but from what I've seen I'm really impressed. Often they're well-written, and wish there were more intelligent videos of this kind on youtube. For some constructive critisism though: I think you could make them more visually interesting. Right now they're far more enjoyable as short podcasts than actual videos. After watching 4 minutes I often just minimize youtube and listen to you while resting my eyes on something else. You seem to mostly use trailers in your videos, which loop and loop, and after a few minutes it gets repetitive. I get that these videos take a lot of time to make - like really long, probably more than I can imagine. But simply getting to watch footage from the game, like your own gameplay, or a montage or something would make your videos far more enjoyable. Anyway, keep up your work!
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
Thanks for watching and commenting! This is pretty much the last video where I relied on just using trailer footage though, haha.
@000Orkarnikolla000
@000Orkarnikolla000 8 лет назад
Ah sorry, didn't realize I only watched older videos. Well then you just have to keep it up!
@000Orkarnikolla000
@000Orkarnikolla000 8 лет назад
By the way, I like your accent. Certainly feels nice to get a rest from the american voice from every order video om RU-vid.
@MikyBounty
@MikyBounty 7 лет назад
*I've a metaphor about this.* (I hope you people to see it.) When a soul come to help you, it's refreshing, you want it again and maybe yourself helping and approaching peoples this time! Because it's terrific to fight problems together! Like a real team! But when you get invaded in an isolated place (outside of the combat zone, so I mean savage PVP), that's unfair. Someone was... just here to kill you, no matter problems you already had, and complicate your life more than it already was. And one thing: Invading player is not necessary to survive. So when it comes, the invader is here JUST FOR FUN, nothing to see with NEED OR SURVIVING. What a cruelty! But the game told you: The human is selfish and full of sins! And when it happen constantly and dying again and again, thanks to INVADERS and not by the game itself, you just... get internet off. Bad people is now gone. But also good people. You're officialy isolated from the world. And you'll fight all alone your problems without any support, any friendship. It's definitively the worst thing you can experiencing in your life: *Loneliness*. *Last but not least.* When you had humanity(ies), the "real you" appear. Not that "like-you coarse hollow" apperance... ...but your real hair, face, skin, body, sex etc. About what you represent! Finally shining about what and who YOU ARE my friend! *And like mosquitoes attracted by the light and the heat, there're always vile persons who'll trying to steal that from you.* So keep it up, meet very nice people and fight for what you really are, whatever you are! That's all folks! ;)
@matka5130
@matka5130 6 лет назад
WOW
@geordierobinson2315
@geordierobinson2315 7 лет назад
I really enjoyed this video. I am a long time souls player and I agree with many of the points you have raised. While I have never suffered from depression, your video has helped me empathize with those who have. I wish you all the best in your endeavors and I hope that you continue to find joy in life.
@Schattenfix
@Schattenfix 7 лет назад
Thank you! From the bottom of my heart - Thank you very much! I am going through massive changes in my life and this is overwhelming me very often. You gave me hope, that i can overcome these struggles with the persistence i have had playing Dark Souls. Even if I was a hermit whilst playing it, and even more in real life, now I know, that there are others out there with similar struggles as me. "The world is indifferent" - this sentence is truly hitting me. You may have helped me in ways I don't understand now.
@TheMATEMAGICIAN
@TheMATEMAGICIAN 8 лет назад
l honestly envy you and at the same time l feel happy for you , l also suffer depression ,anxiety , OCD and suicidal plans and Dark Souls didn't help me in the same way it helped you ,from my perspective we all are as insignificant as the character but fighting leads to no happiness nor fullfilment
@auroracane5450
@auroracane5450 5 лет назад
I really really hope you got passed this there is a goal and there is a prize if you would like to play dark souls 3 on ps4 just reply your username I would love to play the game together:)
@mrping4091
@mrping4091 3 года назад
hey man its been a long time since you commented this but i hope you are okay and life gets better for you
@TheMATEMAGICIAN
@TheMATEMAGICIAN 3 года назад
@@mrping4091 l'm doing better ,hey thanks by the way ,honestly l appreciate ur comment
@dead_machine5461
@dead_machine5461 7 лет назад
Brother, I really know what you been through, and I think you can help me with some things, can we talk?
@speedyshiteflapsongrannysp1121
Training to go Berserk cool name.
@dead_machine5461
@dead_machine5461 7 лет назад
Young Gattsu S2
@MadnlooneyJR
@MadnlooneyJR 8 лет назад
I'm happy that this excellent franchise not only has formed a new genre in helping the industry but as well they help people like yourself. Only discovered this game series less than a year ago and have become hooked since the get go. Great job with the video I have a family member who sufferes with severe depression and kind of know how it feels just remember to keep going man. :D
@blackpearl2307
@blackpearl2307 3 года назад
I'm glad you were able to find a kind of spark in Dark Souls and took the steps to better your life. One's life deserves to be better, no matter the person. And you being able to go through all of this are able to give hope to others struggling right now. What I think I wanted to say was I'm happy you are here.
@Ufo757
@Ufo757 7 лет назад
Praise the Sun!
@inediblemoon941
@inediblemoon941 7 лет назад
funny, the game had the opposite effect on me
@auroracane5450
@auroracane5450 5 лет назад
Inedible Moon that’s a real shame well now that you feel those ways why not try again
@christyp3853
@christyp3853 5 лет назад
Wow I am so glad I found your video! It felt like you took the words right out of my head and actually had them make sense and flow together so well. This is my first time actually getting through any Souls game, and the reason I hadn’t before is because I would get so discouraged by constantly dying. I knew going into it that that was a part of the game, but I just wasn’t ready for it back in 2016. Now, I’m so happy to say that I’m nearing the end of Dark Souls 3, and have grown to absolutely LOVE this game, for exactly the reasons you describe. I’ve just taken it one tiny step at a time and made small goals as I went along. I never thought I’d even beat the first lord of cinder, and now I’ve beaten them all. Playing this has taught me how to see my depression in a different light and just make small goals for myself each day. I’ll be sharing this video with more of my friends that I know need to hear this. Thank you so much for making this. I know you made this a while back, but I really hope you are still on the better side of the road to recovery. You can do this!
@CtrlSaltDelete
@CtrlSaltDelete 8 лет назад
Goddamn topnotch stuff, I know little about the souls series and a reasonable amount about anxiety and depression from both personal experience and some of my closest friends, but your take on both, your insight into both the personal and the designed is fantastic. You deserve every subscriber you get off of this video and you deserve a lot more going of the quality of this video.
@saedt
@saedt 7 лет назад
Damn dude... :)
@bestgreatestman
@bestgreatestman 8 лет назад
dark souls gave me suicidal thoughts
@Bratjuuc
@Bratjuuc 8 лет назад
How?
@bestgreatestman
@bestgreatestman 8 лет назад
Bratjuuc every orenstein and smough i couldn't beat, every four kings i couldn't beat, every aldrich i couldn't beat and every nameless king i couldn't beat.
@Bratjuuc
@Bratjuuc 8 лет назад
Aladdin Mifalani It is game about overcoming difficulties. If you cannot beat a boss, you should analyse their attack patterns, their move set and timing and adjust your tactics. It is game about "getting good". It expects you to learn from your mistakes, and rewards you for it. I think, that you can beat anything in this game with anything, if you'll put enough time and practice in it. I like to extrapolate this principle in real life. If you still cannot beat a boss, there is always white phantoms/sunbros to help you out. There is nothing bad about seeking for help when you really need it. I beated DS 1 multiple times, but I still have very hard time beating Timon & Pumba on my own.
@bestgreatestman
@bestgreatestman 8 лет назад
Bratjuuc I've beat them, but i always have suicidal thoughts when they kill me
@ExtraordinaryJem
@ExtraordinaryJem 7 лет назад
visit therapist man :( I hope the best for you
@PontiffMJ
@PontiffMJ 7 лет назад
This video really hit home for me. As someone who suffers from Major Depressive Disorder and has been suffering from a particularly difficult episode with suicide attempts lately (and much like you, also panic disorder and OCD), all the points you made were so well articulated and relevant. Videos like these, and of course Dark Souls itself, have been a big reason why I have managed to persevere through this and come out a stronger individual as a result.
@Hocklie333
@Hocklie333 6 лет назад
What a great, honest video. I love when people speak from the heart about such personal topics. I know how hard it is to find yourself when going through that. Then with anxiety on top of it you kinda feel like a trapped tiger in a small cage just pacing back and forth trying to feel freedom again. Once again great job and new sub here.
@HeadFullOfString
@HeadFullOfString 6 лет назад
I found this really insightful and relatable, my own mental health has been fortified by the skills and lessons that games have taught me and whilst I have stayed cautiously clear of Dark Souls' potentially macabre and bleak gameplay environment, other games have been key in building resilience and ultimately in how I view life. You have my utmost respect in voicing your experiences.
@Lukas-co8gj
@Lukas-co8gj 7 лет назад
Amazing video! Just found your channel, watched a few videos and I am completely blown away by how good your content is.
@bongochongopongo
@bongochongopongo 7 лет назад
First video I saw from you and a very enlightening one indeed. It is very hard for people who are not affected by depression to understand the thoughts and feelings of people who are affected by it and by sharing your experience, your thoughts, your feelings you gave me an idea of what people go through in a way I can somewhat understand. Thank you for this beautiful video.
@alfraser12
@alfraser12 5 лет назад
Crazy that I've only seen this two years after the posting. But the points you brought up was very spot on and I think most people who have dealt with some sort of depression can agree. Me personally have had it to a mild extent but when you bring up just trying to chip away little by little and enjoy the high points gave me the chills. I never have looked at dark souls from this perspective and this video has definitely shined some light on me. I'm very happy it has helped you push through the tough times and make life the most of what its meant to be and I'll end with saying this has definitely helped me push forward to be the best that I can be. Mr. Writing on Games this video was beautiful. Thanks.
@danielsanders2146
@danielsanders2146 7 лет назад
Really enjoyed this video, you have an amazing way of articulating your thoughts. As a person who is dealing with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness in life it really helps to have your really positive view on the matter.
@184fish
@184fish 7 лет назад
Mate, you're an absolute legend. This is not an easy thing to say, and the points you make are spot on. I've felt similarly recently, and dark souls has been a massive part of me understanding, and learning to enjoy life again. I've only just found your videos, but I'm sure what you've said has helped many people, so thank you for doing what you do. Looking forward to seeing more from you, and all the best.
@aftermathgmgng
@aftermathgmgng 7 лет назад
So, i'm watching this about 8 months after it was released, and by god you pretty much said what i've been thinking about the game since a couple of colleagues introduced me to it. I just wanted to give you a shout out and say a major "thank you" for actually saying these things out loud and helping me get my own thoughts in order.
@tedsomeone
@tedsomeone 6 лет назад
I'm not a dark souls fan but so much of what you've said here resonates so profoundly with what me and others have been through. Great video!
@hsatin20
@hsatin20 7 лет назад
Loved this insight. I was going through the toughest year of my when DS3 came out. The blackness and perseverance of the game, coupled with my love of the franchise helped me, also. I ended up playing the game quite a bit more than I usually would and I also noticed how it seemed to pull me out of similar thoughts of self destruction. There is something about surviving and persevering through severe adversity that can bring strength. I think another great thing about the game is it shows the rewards for efforts in a faster manner than real life usually does. Great video man.
@jawstrings
@jawstrings 3 года назад
thank you so much for this video, as someone who suffers from depression and bpd. i came out of the hospital for my mental health and picked dark souls up again about three months ago, and its almost therapeutic to me. i can take out stress in the heavy handed combat and when you succeed, it feels great.
@vzacage
@vzacage 8 лет назад
This is exactly the reason why I love the souls series! Thank you for making this and I love the way you frame these ideas. It helps me understand my depression and why I play as well.
@WritingOnGames
@WritingOnGames 8 лет назад
I'm so glad it helped you contextualise your thoughts in some way!
@jrivera482
@jrivera482 7 лет назад
First video of this channel that I watched, instant sub! As someone whose also dealt with mental illness, I can relate. Thank you so much for making this video.
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