I was married two times to black men because I was attracted to them and also thought that was what I was supposed to do... The marriages were horrible because I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, they were broken and I was broken. Cleaned myself up and took ten years and wanted to open the pool of men that I would consider and I ended up marrying a white man who treats me like a queen and may not understand everything racially that I deal with, but he has loved me unconditionally and has the most purest heart I know. Be open for love to be in a different package than what you expected 💯❤️
Do we not see the plan from the very begin I g to divide and conquer us. Everyone see it but us because we are starved for love and self identity and acceptance. We are the only people who does this. Your preference is your preference. But, a choice is stronger than a preference. Many Blacks are self hating toward each other. A house divided will never stand. I love God and HE is my Lord and Savior. I do not like the divide in our community, however, the field is never equal when it comes the economic leveling of Blacks in America verses other communities. We take our talents, gifts, treasures and build up substantially in other communities while we do nothing for our Black community. This is the issue l have. Why do we have to look outside of our community? Do they do it equally? They will never see us as equal to them in nothing.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are going to treat you the way you want to be treated. Just because someone is black doesn't men they are going to treat you in a way you don't want to be treated. Going to white men is no guarantee of a successful relationship.
Thank you for sharing this. I've been divorced for 11 years now and holding out hope for another relationship with an AMAZING substantive black man. Lately I've been pondering if it's time to allow God to bless me with an AMAZING substantive "man" ‼️🙏🏾
Oh yes,I had a man who couldn't control his sexual desires,very annoying, he couldn't give me a min to be just by myself and watch or listen something quietly, he was always distracting cos his d%ck couldn't stay calm
I just don’t understand how men don’t see how their actions over time has resulted in women being more masculine today. Like take accountability & let’s talk real solutions.
I don’t get why women continue to try to get men to hold other men accountable, yet attempt to rationalize their own faults. You’re accountable and responsible for your own actions. Stop trying to check other people for what you perceive is a lack of.
Facts when you say this to men especially black men they can you a simp ,it's starts with us as men how you want women to be in order when most men are out of order
His “Ho” explanation is pretty spot on in my opinion. I can say from experience that in my teens and twenties, I developed this idea subconsciously that if I notice that this situation will not become a relationship for whatever reason (me not liking them like that, them not liking me like that, etc.), but I was still attracted to them, I would still see what the sex was like, to satisfy at least that craving. I did not know this is what was happening until about a year ago. I’ve been abstinent for about 10 years, I started this flirtatious relationship with a guy but once we realized we weren’t it for one another, my brain immediately went to the thought “see what the d do”. I knew I wouldn’t because my conscious toward God would not allow me to, but I realized that was my thought process all along. All those years I thought I was just so raw, able to separate feelings from sex, but I was truly just searching for love the improper way. I hope this helps someone.
I’m so happy for you. I use to feel the same way. I thought I was so tough being able to celebrate my feelings from the act. Nope, just dealing with past trauma seeking …. Something … a solution, a salve… It’s so much better to go within, heal and turn to God.
Guys I know theres probably a TON of work yall have been doing on the back end. The podcast is evolving so well thank you for the fire content and consistency. Love the OG episodes so much as someone who grew up in a family of women. Thanks guys and congratulations to the brother for losing all that weight.
LOVE THIS!!! Honest! Raw! Transparent! Humorous and REFRESHING!!! More women need to listen-hear this and incorporate this information into their personal growth journey!Thank YOU!!!!
I came to say thank y’all for having this dialogue without bashing women when speaking on them. This information was very helpful. You have a new follower. As a woman who has tried to be a nurturer for the wrong man I began to feel there was something wrong with me. Being 38 and single is hard. People always think there is something wrong with you. I just pick the wrong men for the wrong reasons. I’ve had men come back and tell me it wasn’t me it’s them. I’m trying to fix my picker 😂. Thanks for this video!
Coach Ken, is the smartest man you have had on this show!!!! Everything I have learned in 56 years of life he has just verified! Wish I new these things when I was in my 20’s. 💕 Only thing men, you do realize woman love receiving oral too. Never hear you all talk about what your woman may need sexually. We don’t all need your money, we need intimacy and love.
And Tysean thank you so much for knowing when to let Ken finish the point he was making. Knowing when to pull back in an interview is absolutely PRICELESS. please bring Ken back. Plus he’s a southern brotha (I think) so he good folk! Lol. Peace
Thank you for this valuable insight! I just had a conversation like this yesterday. I found out exactly what he wanted and told him exactly what I wanted. Needless to say, I am moving on.
OMG, can i say that was me in the past and at 62 I am so spot on how I allow people in my personal space and my home is my sanctuary where I continue to grow. I love your show and I am a member:)
You dont have to marry or couple up with everyone you love. Control your lust and love them from accross town. Marry your 'Help Meet' only! Is he/she ready and willing to help you... and you want yo help him...
Exactly! I love seeing that, although it's rare now. But in books and shows in the old days that was cool seeing men and women couples working together as equal for a greater goal.
"She will settle for anything when she gets older" Boy you got it wrong guys, it's the opposite! The quality standards are way higher: As a man you have to be able to show that you will show up. That you are reliable. That you take care of yourself as she does. Older doesn't mean ugly either. They are alone not because they're bitter - They're alone because it's slim pickings... Drop the prejudice guys, you sound like freshmen college...
Exactly, I am single by choice. Guys approach me all the time. The problem is, I don't have time for the games, I'm not trying to be someone's bank or mother. I've had the marriage and I am not interested in having kids. I've been there and done that. What I am more interested in is peace. I have that now and I will not let anyone disturb that with their immature foolishness. I will not "settle" because I am not afraid to be alone.
Men and Women needs to realize that we need to be committed to one another consciously in order to make this work. Have you noticed that when a man A does bad ( cheats, beats or irresponsible ) to woman A, she becomes bad to the next spouse and even if she doesn't, her sister or daughter or some woman down the line that watched her go through that experience will have their guard up and treat any man they come across badly. Also vice versa when a woman treats a man badly , the man treat the next partner with disgust and even if he doesn't, a brother or son or any man does the line treats any woman they come across as the perpetrator. This result in a vicious cycle and messes up the whole community. No ONE is more important, we need one another.
I LOVED THIS! Soo many gems given. Not only can I just agree but self-reflect on certain areas that need healing, discipline and a heavy use of discernment
Im a woman and my experience is that where the male, hasn't taken his rightful place in the home, being the head, the protector and provider, I've had to adopt "masculinity" to a certain extent, by having to step in where this man has left a gap. Now this has gone on for years and I'm done now and am going through a divorce, because on top of this behaviour unfortunately is an emotionaly abusive man. Now your discussion talks about the masculine woman, but this is caused by men who fail as men and women have to adopt this role which is unnatural. Show me a woman who doesn't want to be feminine, dependent on a reliable man, nurturing her man, loving and caring for him . Unfortunately there are a few rmature real men out there, few and these situations HAVE made women become the strong, masculine women they are. Standards are then up there and it'll take a lot to impress that kind of woman, because she's done it all, she's had to. Not that many men out there that are secure enough, mature enough or able enough to meet her needs and give her what she wants and Vicious cycle
I appreciate this episode and as a Married Man this was sooo uplifting to hear. If I can put in time at the gym, and perfect my craft, then why not put in that same dedication and energy into a marriage! 💯🙏🏿👑
Coach Ken did a wonderful job on emasculation. Most women do not want to “take the lead” or do things to emasculate. When a man just takes the lead, it’s AMAZING! When we have to do all of the instructing, that is essentially taking the lead. I would love Coach Ken to explain masculinity in relationship dynamics. I found some guys ate great at it while many are not. I subconsciously fall right into being more feminine with a truly masculine man. For me it’s been a man who already sees himself in the masculine role and acting it out in a respectful manner. He has clarity and vision. Like Coach Ken and love that he spoke of the subconscious mind. It dictates 95-97% of everything we do but is mostly developed in early childhood.
Coach Ken is by far the most knowledgeable guest you have had so far. He is spitting so much knowledge here. I have learned so much just from this.. I ❤ this
Experience speaks here. I love his bold stances, says it as it is. Message for men and women. Some men think sex is all there is and the women think think sexy is all there is exposing all she has. Coach Canion is so real. Thanks for bringing him on. I think happiness transcends beyond race as long as you are equally yoked. That's important for me.
Hey man. Curse words are just that. So much wisdom, but a filthy mouth everything is spiritual kinda hard to make it through lol but I pushed through. The man ain’t lying.
I found you brothers a few months ago and I can’t thank you all enough for helping me gage where I am on my journey as it certainly speaks to where I’ve come from. I’m 50 and single. Was married in the past. All my daughters are adults. I have a career and I’m at an amazing peaceful place in my life. I see y’all as my little brothers that I’ve never had 😘😘 The dating scene is very interesting especially since I attract a mixed bag of men 30 and up. (My oldest daughter is 33 😂) I feel as it relates to settling down again ‘someone’ is about to cancel my ‘Bachelorette’ show in the near future 😊 I’ve learned so much along the 7 year journey of being single. You guys have been sort of a recap for me. I share ALL OF YOUR CONTENT with the Brothers I date and engage with in any way. THANK YOUUUUU!!! ❤❤
This is one of my favorite videos from HI! I just watched it in its entirety the second time. His language is raw, but his message is so real and I applaud the hosts for having the highest of quality guests in the RU-vid space. They are really serving the community.
I really enjoyed the whole interview especially during a time when being toxic and inhumane is popularized. I am a 26F. At 20 I had a list that was full of physical likes for my partner. I got into my first relationship at 22 with a 35M and learned that physical attraction wasn’t enough. It’s about the character of the person, their morals/values, their faith. I see the progress from immature to mature as I reflect on the changes from 20 to 26. It actually makes me laugh. A nice 180
Fantastic correction on quality! I believe a high quality man is about his mindset. He has a vision for his life and is actively pursuing it. He is a leader. It’s not necessarily about a specific salary even though I have a great salary. Is he going to elevate us by having the mindset to lead us forward? He automatically gets crossed off the list if his mindset will sink our ship. I believe what the Bible says when it says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. I know I bring favor, so together we will be able to achieve the goals. I’m 38.
Gentlemen… I know i’m just one person, but I’m sure there’s a just a handful of us out there that can relate to the following: I have the upmost respect for y’all. I have grown very fond of the 2 of you, as I’ve watched your full transformation, and you guys continue to grow towards empowering our people. HOWEVER, as much as I agree with EVERYTHING this awesome brother has to say in this episode, REGARDLESS, it all completely took me back to when I DID NOT respect you guys for the type of messages being spewed out. This episode is almost going backwards in terms of the UNNECESSARY choice of words/lack of articulation when describing romantic relations, sexual acts, etc! It’s extremely unprofessional and we as people tend to lose a large part of audiences due to the fact. Y’all have worked entirely too hard to revert back to a “BBQ, around the poker table or on the block” types of talks! With that said, MAD love for yall. But I personally will reframe from ever tuning in when this brother returned to the show. Not only as a Christian, but a respectable woman. I’m no prude Lol by no means, BUT there’s a time and a place for everything. Your platforms just didn’t have to be it 🤨 Just saying 🤷🏻♀️
Facts! Profane Christians seems like a lie! What a turn off …I couldn’t listen to him! The yelling + the language was awful almost demonic and the Light ain’t there!
most relationships fail because people fake who they are at the beginning to snag their partners I just find it weird when people claim they’re in a relationship but barely know about each other
#Word, I resonate with this guest, people should look inwardly for what contributed to the behavior or perception change. This is the most difficult thing that we fail to acknowledge our contribution to the emotions the other person is expressing.
I'm American but I have a gap. When African men approach me I am given lots of complements about my beauty and even told I may be Youroba. They encourage me to never close my gap and keep smiling. Black men immediately see my gap and " oh no, I can't date no girl with a gap". She not ugly but the gap is a no for me. Meanwhile, they is a social justice organization and protest regularly 🤔. My gap tells you I AM the very thing your fighting for in this country. Yet, you haven't heard a thing I believe in or even what I think about ....but my gap is the deal breaker 😑. It's not that I didn't try, I just have to do more work to find one that is not brainwashed by American BS. I still have white, and Spanish men mostly Dominican and African men who nearly fall out their seat when I smile. Imma go where I'm wanted JS 😏.
What!!!! Black Americans men don’t like gap? Really ? I am Haitian and I have a gap. Haitian men believe women with a gap are freak in the bedroom so yes we are desirable.
The best way to avoid trouble is for women to take their time and not move too fast. So what, you find a guy attractive? Just chill out and let it go. What's the hurry? Don't let it dominate you. You don't have to do anything and shouldn't do anything just bcuz you find a man attractive and he's making a play for you. Don't actually do anything but chill out and carry on like there's nothing bcuz there is nothing. If impulse is what a guy is looking for, he's not gonna hang around a woman who's not acting on impulse. And ladies, that's how you know he's toxic AF. He's gonna try to press for impulse and will surely not like seeing a woman have control over herself.
I didn't want this episode to end, I felt good, content, and hopeful. I loved the part about the subconscious mind and listening to your intuition. And perception of self. People consciously manifesting or into manifestation videos will love this episode. #manifestation#loa#spiritual
I don’t know how I started this video, but I am so glad I watched it! I noticed how many things I have been guilty of and the wrong men have done to me in my past as well before I was saved. It definitely helped me understand a lot of things it kept me laughing in the car. I thought I loved me most when I worked out which I do like a lot, however getting closer to Jesus and going through what I went through I recognize that I feel very confident being healthy and thin without any pressure just eating clean food I enjoy. I am not super attracted to overly buff men I like a man who takes care of himself. That made a lot of sense that you attract what you are. I personally love natural I strongly dislike the plastic surgery look and when men like that it is a huge turn off he automatically becomes unattractive to me. The part that confused me was when Coach said that and then said he works out all the time yet he likes plus size women. I also would like to hear some advice on how as a woman you learn not to let your man thinking other women are attractive/ check them out upset you so much. I would like for a man’s opinion who doesn’t sound so lustful if that makes sense? Lastly, I would love to hear someone speaking about single moms and dating. I personally have a son and went through all of the pregnancy alone. I am not perfect I made mistakes, but I am a woman of God and I wish I had the intimate relationship I have with the Lord before all the mistakes. However God turns all things meant for evil to good! So I trust God’s plan, I just would like to hear more relationship advice for people in my situation.
I commend you on powerful speakers. Wisdom, truth, maturity and harvesting Healthy, whole, and happy humans and relationships. I was really surprised at the emotional response of the host at time 37:22 where he had a strong emotional response to a toxic woman’s damage to a man, as if it was way worse than the damage of a toxic man on a woman. Definitely a perception that men’s emotions are more valuable, and women are just casualties of a man’s privilege. If more people valued themselves and each other we’d have a lot less broken people, relationships, and families. Also, as a 40 year old successful woman I am waiting for my equally yoked partner to submit to because I want it, not because I need it. However, that submission will only come with trust, authenticity, and vulnerability which takes work to build. I will survive solo but I pray to thrive with my king.
"Playa" is actually toxic since you play with her emotions and leave her with a bitter feeling that is toxic. I don't see how you can be a "playa" without being manipulative cause you obviously want something that's why someone is a "playa". Can't be a man and play. Aside of that his talk makes sense. Nice that he saved 200 and some relationships, he gave a word "accountability " a new meaning
These men are not trying to have multiple wives , they're trying to sleep around. Why don't they get into relationships with women who agree to polygamy, if you want more than one woman , don't lie and say that you want one and THAT is the problem.
Women are also leaders which is a positive attribute in a healthy relationship. A woman should not have to “LET” a leader lead. Leaders lead naturally and even if she is a leader in her own right she will follow if she TRUST his leadership and decision making. Sure there can only be one driver and one copilot but the person behind the wheel needs to know where We are going and How we are going to get there. If he does not know the answer then he may not need to drive anyone anywhere.
The youngee men I get atttracted too or we strike a friendships have fairer minds, show more care, not ramming down on their place financially low or high value. I see more confident young men, fairer in their perspectives,
Best gift you can give a man is a book… You can never go wrong with feeding him KNOWLEDGE ❤.. Also i could never in life date a younger man I need intelligence not youth
You CAN help who you fall in love with. Love is a decision not a feeling. You don't catch love like you catch a cold. Saying you can't help yourself is why we have people making dumb decisions
I get what you are saying but men believe they can fall in love. I've heard it from so many men that I decided not to date after listening to what they see as ideal. I don't want to meet those men's needs at all because it doesn't align with God at all....
Omg ...this man is so impressive! Totally impressed, gotta admit. Wise words ... I agree with just about everything he saids. 💯 Thank you! Great interview
For the woman who takes her boss ways and masculinity home, two things can happen here. A. She’s a controller herself B. She doesn’t RESPECT him enough for him to lead. Once we start choosing our mate by our top values, we will get better connections vs choosing based on looks and status only.
I believe a man who truly respects his wife will not tell the world about what they do behind closed doors... it lacks taste and tact. *Edit: it also lacks class Hopefully it's something both men and women can improve on as a whole.
He speaking facts about the older women!! Ha! I’m 52 and I could careless about how much money 💴 a man makes because like the he said, I have my own money! I’ve been on my job 32 years so I’m good! 😉 All I want from a man is love and attention, respect, and to travel ✈️ and live life! That’s it. That’s all. 😊
I agree with most of what he said and while I get it was meant as a light-hearted joke still, the "she still gotta suck my dick" part as a woman and a wife I would feel discrespected if my husband talked about me like that and laughed at my expense, especially when this material goes out to thousands of people Respect works both ways
