Dave Portnoy Unboxing Highlights (4/6/20) 

2.5 years later and this is still comedy gold.

"I'd tell you if I was doing coke" Dave Portnoy

3 years later.. still holding strong. The laughs are still there

But he's got enough adderall in his system to get a horse through school

I don't think Dave's coke dealer is social distancing.

dave talking to his kitchen knife telling it that it will always be the original killed me

Why is this so enjoyable to watch lol

Maybe this is the pandemic talking but is this guy the most entertaining human being ever? I’m watching some dude opening packages and I’m having a ball

Dave is so zipped out of his mind here. “I thought that was an animal back there”

One day trader, everyone knows he put his money in airline stocks during a pandemic

Why is this the best content on the internet right now?

Imagine giving a huge sword only to get upstaged by an even bigger sword.

That anthrax scare halting the two minute drill is so classic. Lead the team down the field to the redzome, still had two timeouts.. intercepted

"I didn't mean to take a shot at Dana. It's not his fault he's fat, he's just building the brand"

Dave "I can immediately tell that's a 7 incher" Portnoy

Still come back to these. These got me through the worst of covid forsure

Giggled like a school girl for 34 mins 😂 thank you Davey Packages!!

"that's a keeper" tosses shirt across the room

Watching a quarantined man’s slow descent into madness.

Dave "I don't do coke" Portnoy: I love sweatpants. What are those anvils? Clearly shows that they are sledgehammers.

Never waited so hard for an unboxing! Hate us cuz they ain’t us. El prez !!!!

This is the greatest content of the COVID19 crisis. Accidental genius and a much-needed respite from the madness.

Man. I remember when these were coming out. Legit put a smile on my face during those crazy dark times. Put a smile on my face in a sad dark time

I'm so happy I get to watch Dave's descent into madness with you all.

This is one of the most entertaining things I've seen. Keep up the fun!

This is unbelievable content. I love coming back to watch these.

When he put on that hat and then pulled the knife out had my crying. Omg

Absolutely reckless the way he opens up boxes. I love it.

your unboxings have made you grow on me, preciate you brother. God Bless you my guy.

After 32 days in you cannot believe how much you make me laugh!! Thank You!! Stay forever

“I don’t do coke” -guy who does coke

Dave “I’d tell you if I’m doing coke” Portnoy

Watched this on my lunch break made my day😂

dave, havent laughed like this in a while....ty 4 this. keep em coming

im so happy the internet pulled through for unboxing 2. It can only get better from here.

Spaztastic... Dave makes the Energizer Bunny look like he's in slowmo..... I feel like I need rehab just watching these unboxings... ☮️❤️😊

The best content to watch!!! big love Dave from Manchester england 🤙🤙🙌🇬🇧

The unboxing videos may be the funniest content I’ve seen from Portnoy

Dave is so entertaining!!! Space cadet. I had to come back and watch again!!!

This video made my day. Dave was like a little kid! ❤

quickly become the highlight of my day thanks prez

Crazy how opening packages could make me laugh so hard 🤣

The content we want.... no the content we need! Thanks Dave

How have I been missing these unboxings! 😅

His face when he got the sword was priceless!

Dude looking back, I tuned in faithfully to watch Dave open boxes and big cat play a ncaa football game that was like 6 years old at the time

I take 60 mg adderall and it’s pretty much coke. He looks like me after lunch in 6th grade

Have you thought about live streaming on RU-vid? You can go as long as you want, the video isn't backwards and you don't have to record it in portrait mode.

"What we learned in the unboxing 1 is I am not on Coke." lol *Did We Though?*

Entertaining Dave!! Thanks I enjoyed the laughs. Keep it up and stay safe

These are amazing. I hope they keep up

Honestly.. the most entertaining unboxing ever

Man creates empire. Man makes $100M. Man can’t use a tripod. There is hope for all of us!

I want a girl to look at me the way dave looks at that sword.

Golden Knights Jacket was unreal. That with the Prison Mike bandana and the sword.

I love this man I watched every minute no fast forward

Love these unboxing!!

I'm dying greatest single vid ever

Miss these!

best content barstool ever made

You make Monday, which has been s***** wonderful. Just washing these videos, you are awesome.

This unboxing is the best one so far for barstool. Dumb funny 😆

one ground up adderall before streaming, everybody knows the rules

Dave: I'm not on coke, I'd tell you if I was on coke. Narrator: Dave was, in fact, on coke.

34 minutes of Portnoy GOLD

I delivered for UPS prior to my career ending injury. The driver who delivered to you had such a great attitude. Most of them wouldn't have been as cool as that dude. But at the same time, when you have 175 stops and 400 packages in your package car it's always nice, visually to see a good chuck of them go out. Makes you feel like you actually made a dent. Nothings worst than making like 30 stops for envelopes or small packages and feeling like you haven't made any progress. It's a tough job, but that's the job and they get paid very well for it too.

*constantly complains he didn’t get a free pizza from Jacks* *complains about companies sending him things for advertising*

This is gold. How am I just now watching this lmao

love this guy

I love this guy.

The look on his face when he picked up the samurai sword.

This guy is great never has a bad video

I'm proud of you for not going down like you got shot this time. Lol. Another great video brother. 👌

I needed those laughs today

I miss these

I loved watching get your shit rocked when you opened those blades. Great stuff.

😆. That was fun Dave. Thanks for keeping us laughing

Havent laughed so hard in awhile 😂😂

This is turning into the new bad unboxing and I’m here for it

I can watch this all day. Lol

Yeah he doesn’t do coke but he definitely does adderall and he’s already admitted that

Keep watching till the end to see the debut of the "Amish Ninja"....watch the sheer joy in his face when he unwraps the sword!!! Hahaha

This was the peak of lockdown entertainment

These are becoming the highlight of my day when I finish my shitty work from home job.

This was honestly the best part of the 2020 lockdowns lmao

Those MSP Hockey Jon’s are 🔥.

I wouldn’t tell any of my friends that I watch these vids but damn they are entertaining

dave holy crap ur commentary is hilarious i love this

THE GREAT UNBOXER...What a time to be alive..!! 😂

Don’t send anymore coffee, everybody knows the rules!

Dave love ya man

He’s a pure genius period.

2 potatoes used to smuggle in the drugs. Everybody knows the rules.

"You need a horse racing analyst, give me a call" Dave- "no" hahaha damn lol

He pulled out the massive knife with that hat on and Dave reminded me of Crocodile Dundee.

"It's a very well known fact I don't read books"

Holy shit when he thought there was an animal I lost it. The man is going insane

love these el pres "im not on coke i would tell you" hahahahahahhahahahhahh

That Vegas Golden Knights jacket is dope!!!

Dave is on all the things.