Dave Portnoy  

If you fast forward every 8 minutes or so, it’s kinda like randomizing a GTA character.

who wouldve known america would need dave portnoy of all people in times of peril

“No son of mine will live in a bowl for watermelon” 😂

3 years later and just want to appreciate what a maniac dave is for eating home made food from random people on the internet

“Heavy artilerary.” Someone is gonna get prez killed. They’re literally sending him Samurai swords now.

Did El Pres realize that Joe Montana Jersey was signed by the legend himself?

0:42 Solid coke drip Pres!

“I’m going to start waving this around so everyone gets nervous”. Everyone send weapons you know the rules 😂

“Arizona hogs” 💀

I just appreciate that he is keeping the goldfish haha bought a new tank and everything. Wholesome

"That's a picture of me and a girl...That's all that is" ahahahaha

Bro said “Arizona hogs” I’m dead

As an Arkansas Alum my heart is broken... “oh the Arizona Hogs!”

That k bar (Marines knife) is the best weapon gift you got. Those knifes are funking incredible

When are they going to mirror this video so everything isn’t backwards?

Two lines of adderall...everybody knows the rules

"Jack Voogal just sent me a fukn thing of things" fkn dead 😂😂😂

It really bothers me how he never lets the hand sanitizer dry 😂 he just leaves it dripping off his hands then grabs food

Randolph is a legend now.

Once again another badass video , these gifts are funny AF and we need more of these videos 3 years later

Dave: "I dont think we were supposed to take this " Other side of the box: theft is punishable by a $1000 fine and 3 years imprisonment 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sword in hand "I feel like I can feel it in my hands" - David Portney 2020

Randolf will be in actual heaven very soon..

>Arizona hogs >me: it’s ARKANSAS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"Cool looking hair, very good biceps"😂

He’s using heavy artiliary. That Marine fighting knife is legit nice.

Every morning I get my pushups and sit ups in watching the unboxing recap. Thanks for the entertainment

The guy from orchard park that sent dave those peanuts is my hero

11:56 with the blood on the frame... The Chef's Kiss Classic lol

I know my life is sad when I watched the whole unboxing live last night and just watched the recap, like in case I missed something....

"I'd hit maybe 3,000 home runs with this bat". ~ Portnoy

0:42 coke drain

heavy artilerary haha best part of the video

The reactions to nicking his thumb are priceless.

This man is Fucking unintentionally funny as hell.

empty package from Orchard Park NY is Bill's mafia, hahahahahahaha

prez opens free weapons for 36 minutes everybody knows the rules

Quarantine slowly turning Dave into Patrick Bateman. Ladies, take notice.

Dave. I love your content.

You totally blew it with Recyclopse -- you didn't get that joke at all.

"You can kill someone with that"

Where’s the huge line that Dave forgot to mute😂y’all left that out the highlights cuz y’all knew he was caught

"I made myself bleed my own blood" 😂

Crazy how you become rich and everything’s given to you for free . Good show tho

1 new son on the block. Everybody knows Carrabis gon' cry in the car.

Godfather's Pizza to Tony's: "Thank you!"

That shirt he threw almost blew his coke off the dresser.

dave dont eat random food sent to you imagine if someone injected lsd in that strawberry... it would be great content tho

"What is this?" -Dave Portnoy, 2020

“I feel like I can feel it in my hands” *SPEECH: 100*

Holds sword... "I feel like I can feel it in my hands".

The gift you said was the most confusing thing was a stand for pizza’s brotha. So you can sit the tray on it when recording your frozen pizza reviews.. From: A Pizza Man

Ol Dave three nuts

The skis 😂

I wonder if he shaves his chest hair in a triangle to feel like iron man.

I watched the Livestream last night and the video wasn't reversed. Slap the person that screwed it up editing this clip!

Did he actually skip the wedding invitation? 😔

What brand is that white zip up shirt? I want one

whoever made the light. it was cool

Ohhhhh!!!!! Yo logo here!! It took me way too long🧐😂

"been hatless for a while" i've just binged watched his last 12 unboxings.... he took like 50

Thank you Prez for getting us through this quarantine.

Pres opens a weapon: I could kill someone with that

So glad for Randolph!!

Tell Dave to hit me up If he pays me I’ll clean his apartment everyday for him perfectly! Being serious too.

I'm like you. There is something about knives that just gets me going. Oh and don't even mention a sword. I'm not a big fan of Cutco but that Woodsman is a nice knife. If it's for the kitchen I like Japanese Knives and also have a set of Wusthof Classic and a Ikon set. I really like the feel and balance of a fine Japanese style knife. For outdoor almost anything works but really like Bark River Knives and a KA-BAR is always wicked awesome. For a US made Japanese style knife you can't beat Carter Cutlery, to keep price down you can get an Apprentice Series. A Carter series is out of my price range unless on special

Just imagine Christmas for him.

Recyclopse from the office bro you just tossed away Dwight

I cant believe he didnt notice recyclops from office. LOL right over his head

RANDOFF 2020!

"You only live once go here" YOLOGOHERE

Did he say ARIZONA HOGS when he put the hog hat on? Lol. That’s our ARKANSAS RAZORBACKs mascot. The HOGS. Lol. It’s all good tho. It’s just we take our razorbacks very very serious down here cuz we don’t have a NFL team. WPS!!!!

Recyclops!!! Dwight Shrute!!!! That's pretty funny

Not sure if Dave would ever read this but I think he should do a mix between stocks and sports card investing!!

“This blade fucks”

The guy sending box of package peanuts was funny AF , Dave states many time he hates that mess and some dude Jack something let’s Dave make big mess from package peanuts lmao

Hopefully Dave losing the certified Certificate on that Montana jersey. I seen it fall to the ground and don’t even Dave thinks jersey is autographed

Dave needs to lay off the Adderall…. He probably doesn’t realize its the same thing as meth. Dave is in his mid 40’s he should start looking after his heart health instead of pumping meth through his arteries.

Dave whipping out the samari sword and wanting to cut something , looking for something when he has 500 boxes laying around

Dave not wearing the Steelers hard hat is exactly how I feel about the Pats. He’s huge Pats fans just like myself As Steelers fan

Team Randolph!!!!!!

The world is yours 😂😂😂, legit that person 200 iq the fuck out of dave rofl... push it 2 the limit....

Good review lifetime supply of tickets, or do I give a bad review hmmm 🤔🧐but do I really wanna pay ?

Imagine being a multi millionaire getting free stuff and content you can monetize that must be heaven, I love Dave but c'mon hahaha

I got a Samir sword laying around missing somewhere laying around in this grass ready to cut someone head off was hilarious, he never did find it just the case to it lmao.

I love fuckin these straws! - Portnoy's Nose 2020

whole fish tank for a fish that might last 5 days

For the love of your ENTIRE fan base, please bring these back!!! Coked down Mr. Pageviews is top tier entertainment

If i'd had known about this he would've got an UMBRELLA KNIFE from me.

30:30 this is why potatoes were a great gift… so you always have something to "test" the newest knife out on fruit ninja style, duh.

Prez actively trying to get Covid 19

Swim for the people Randolph 😆

Anyone know where I can get that robe shirt

Y’all got stop sending him knives lol. He’s gonna fuck himself up bad one day

thats not a Haiwain / shrt it was couch cover from 1991 Taiwanese careiplq Wynn

Yo Dave box all this shit up , pick a few hospitals and drop all this shit off for the heath care workers .

The facemask comment is ironic because it's exactly what happened

Everyone dream golf forsome?....Prez would definitely be in mine

9:18 😂 I fkn love this man 🤴🏼 19:28 😂 I can’t with this man 🗑️

Why are people sending this rich guy some expensive gifts? Just for the memes?