Dealing with Abandonment, Part 1 | BPDsquared 

Ugh im sorry you had to keep switching therapists 😪 totally feel that.

My last two psychiatrists quit their practices abruptly and without a last appointment. I just got an email saying they had left the practice and my last appointment would be cancelled or they could find a new provider within the practice. My abandonment issues were very triggered by this and the most recent was in January right before I lost my best friend and I feel betrayed and ashamed of those feelings. I know in reality no one betrayed me but it still hurts and I feel for you as fellow black woman with BPD. ❤

My psychotherapist was my FP for almost 9 years. It was the closest I have come to be able to walk free fro needing this FP (all of my FP have been mother figures, and had been going on my entire life). She too decided to change her practice, but not bring me with her, even though she had promised, for years, that she would always be there for me to talk to, no matter what. It blind sided me. I knew it was because she was moving on in her life, ready for marriage, and kids, etc. but she wouldn’t admit it. I stuck to my guns for 8 years, and refused to let anyone into my life. Until I met my new FP, who I am probably dealing with the prospect of losing right now, though I’m not sure, because she’s a celebrity musician, so in between seeing her before concerts, my communication is through her manager, who I think is trying, and succeeding in blocking me from seeing my FP. There is nothing more frustrating than being blocked from someone who brings you so much joy, and because of that, you have the circling thoughts of self harm, self hatred, suicidal ideation etc. I know my FP wouldn’t want that for me

Just found your channel. I had a therapist get rid of me as soon as I was diagnosed. She let me know she didn't work with borderlines.