DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PATIENT DEATHS 

My hospital has a "Code Lavender" cart that is brought out to us post-code and it really helps! On the top of the cart is an essential oils diffuser with of course some lavender oil, then each drawer has a little treat! From chocolate to tea... it's got it all! One of the best things I've seen in my career. I also like to take a walk outside if I can after the code and say a prayer for the patient and reflect on the situation. Venting helps me tremendously as well.

This is something I was totally not prepared for when becoming a nurse! I’ve seen an unfortunate number of traumatic deaths in my years but one nice thing my recent unit did, was keep a binder of all the good patient stories. They didn’t use names obviously, but staff would write down “success” stories of patients overcoming crazy situations to become well again. We also had a book full of cards and notes from patients and families. Sometimes after a really hard code I’d go flip through those after talking about it with coworkers to debrief. This was usually helpful to help remind me that it’s not ALWAYS like that. And we see so much good as well. Thanks for talking about this!

I just started working as a housekeeper for a hospital a month ago and I've already seen dead bodies getting rolled out, seeing clinically braindead patients, and other people in pain. While I'll never get to know them, it still has affected me a lot more than i thought it would from cleaning patients rooms. Thank you for this video, it's helping me process my emotions about death

I used to be an EMT on northern NJ. I'd never say I've seen everything, but I've seen my fair share of really bad deaths and accidents. I was also at 9/11, which really screwed me up. You're absolutely right though, in the moment, we just go into work mode, but when we get home, everything would hit hard. Thank you for what you do!!

Two hard deaths that happened to me as a nurse in ICU was terminally extubate to a 37 year old, and me being 33 years old. The other one was coding a 21 year old and hearing his mom saying “please God don’t take my baby.” Both were extremely difficult, but in different manners. The 21 year old was a month off of orientation in ICU and my first real code blue. The whole experience was so traumatic for me and I really fully processed it when I came home from night shift and just laid in my bed. I remember I was supposed to go out on a date with my boyfriend at the time, and I called him and said I didn’t have the energy to do it. I was so happy to not have to go back that night again. I needed to process it and then when I went back to work a couple days later and felt better. When I terminally extubated the 37 year old, I remember I got really short tempered with my other coworkers. I again went home that night and needed to process that day in silence and watch some Big Bang Theory. I needed some joy in my life after I had watched a wife’s joy disappear for a while. The family was also Japanese and the parents had flown in from Japan to really speak with all the physicians and then they made the choice to withdraw care. As a whole it was different to not give them a hug, because I could tell that is not what they were comfortable with. I think that the best way to deal with it is just to listen to your feelings for a while. If you feel sad, be sad, if you are angry, that is ok too. Death is hard to process in our job.

I worked on an oncology ward in an NHS hospital, saw several families where, despite their loved one having been fully expecting to die, their response has been to scream, yell, I even had one adult son run around the ward shouting and screaming and throwing patients’ notes around. We tried explaining that the ward was full of very sick people and to direct them to the relative’s room…but this went on for almost an hour It was very distressing for the other patients as well as staff…

This was a very brave video. Thank you for your service to humanity and your honesty. It is invaluable, as a former EMT/Combat Medic I really empathize and endorse your advice on this subject. It is critical that nurses hold on to their empathy. Thank you for sharing

Im trying to locate her, i cant find any links to her. Im very interested in listening to her but i cant find any link?

Hi Ashley! Love your videos! I will graduate with my BSN in December and recently got a nurse externship on a Neuro/ ICU step down unit and my final semester clinical synthesis will be in the ICU at a different hospital. I am very excited for both these opportunities but I’m really nervous to work with drips because I didn’t get a lot of experience with them in my previous clinicals. Could you make a video on drip titration/management and on the main drips you deal with in ICU? Thanks! :)

My mom coded in the ICU. She was 54. That was the worst day of my life and there were so many nurses in the room when it happened, and my mom was well known at that hospital and the looks on the nurses faces was pure sadness.

A little over a year of being a nurse, I had my first patient death the other day.

I wear Lavender oil daily as a perfume one may say

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When my mom was in the hospital the nurse came in and told me she didn’t think my mom was going to make it. I was quietly sitting with my mom who was unable to speak but I was assuming she could hear everything. And they were still actively treating her. I wasn’t poa and had no control over care. But I wasn’t sure what my mom wanted. I simply wanted to be left alone. The nurse kept pointing out that she didn’t think she’d make it. My aunt made a comment that we had a good run (as if my mom was going to pass) and I started to cry. The nurse laughed. Like I was supposed to accept the death and crying was some kind of a joke.

My very first death experience was in nursing school, during my ICU clinical rotation. A different nurse (not the one I was following that day) asked me if I wanted to terminally extubate a patient. I had no idea what that meant (and he didn’t explain), so I said yes, thinking it was just a normal extubation. The patient was my mother’s age and that experience still haunts me.

hello! Im Ashlee! I love your videos! you might know your parents whent out today and my mom is friends with your dad! just wanted say that I love your videos and that my mom knows your dad!

Thank you so much for this. I work in pediatrics and get very close to my patients because I love kids and our kids live at my job so we really create a bond and when they pass its very hard

She just the said Truth in the first minute, the other talking is BS.

p.s. Madison is my sister

Late 😎👍🏼

Do you feel men and women feel or take it differently? Please don't let the answer be base on a gay nurse. I'm not trying to be mean but I will put them on a women level.