Decentering Men a Morning Convo 

"If I didn't think the way I think I would've chose my husband based on my trauma, not my intuition and my discernment" Bondyyyy🙌🏾🙌🏾💙💙💙💙 This whole video was a WORD!!! Those who get it, GET IT! 💯🎯

“He is experiencing who I am “ POWERFUL STATEMENT… women cannot risk their health and sanity . Being male centered as a woman is NOT IT .

I love hearing how insightful you are at 35. I woke up around 38 because I was tired of being a maid mattress and mule. I’m single and loving it. It’s peaceful here. I’m just accountable for me and my kid 🧘🏾‍♀️

Why are women in 2023 still putting up with any kind of abuse in their lives?! When my dad gave me “the talk” he said “don’t ever walk into this house and tell me that you let a man or anyone put their hands on you” and he gave the same talk to my brothers “don’t ever let me hear that you put your hands on a woman or anyone”

16:29 I feel like a proud big sister when I listen to you talk that sh*t. It brings a huge smile to my face. They don't know about this dark feminine, generator, operator, destroyer energy. Let them know! 🖤

Bondy your energy is such a vibe...They are not ready for you.

I needed to hear this and this is why Im single because I was too nice to these dudes and got taken advantage off. You are so right to not put your faith into men and I had to learn the hard way

Bondy, i could feel your emotion and its why ive been watching you since i was 16, surfing through reviews of love and hip hop because i did not want to deal with the comericals, im 23 now and still here for moments like these. And as a gay man myself, I can vouch that men like carlos are around and irk me to the ends of the earth.

Bondy Blue this was DEEP on so many levels! Worth bookmarking and reviewing by all women regularly.😘

Bondy is so on point the way she dissect these issues girl i respect how intuitive you are and stand ten toes down in your truth.

This was an excellent conversation...critical thinking is key.

This is all facts! For years I let my husband lead and it led us to some dead ends. I educated myself, healed and changed my mindset and life has been amazing. Women, you are the leaders of life, your home and families. When you do it right, you won’t be tired of doing it. I know my worth now and I am valuable. ❤

Hey Bondi! Listening to you speak on your father - my life was very similar. He was protective/ territorial of us. Loving yet controlling/slick abusive. When you spoke of how you felt when he passed..... Those words were how I felt, when my father passed in 2019. Hearing you say that out loud confirmed my feelings... that I am not alone in that. Just recently returned from a trip to his hometown where he wanted his ashes taken. He passed in 2019. I was a daddy's girl who watched her mother come alive again after his passing. Thank you for your words.

I loved this live! I love how calm you are going back and forth with patriarchy princesses, I get irritated, debating people that's loud and wrong. 😩

I just recently had a conversation with my mom that the most presumably successful adults (women/men) that were raised by single mothers are usually the ones who’s mothers decided if daddy doesn’t want to be here, I have to keep it moving. They didn’t chase or try to guilt them into parenthood, they just let them go and put that energy into bettering themselves and pouring into their children. The man has already made their decision and too many times women will fight for years for a man to be around who’s already either told them or showed via action they don’t want to do it. Like you said let them go. The time and energy exerted worrying about them can go to your kids. Instead you’re giving it to that *man,* again, making man the end all be all. At that point you start failing as a parent, yourself. That’s how mothers end up baring part of the blame for dad’s absence. Like you, despite my dad’s absence, I had a village. In fact, his family fully stepped in to fill in for him. They couldn’t replace him, but they were able to substitute for his absence. But that was because my mom made the decision to keep it moving, she couldn’t make him do something because at that point, I was here. She gave it some time, but once she recognized he wasn’t getting on board she let it go. By doing that, she raised a well adjusted adult (if I do say so myself lol), and I know plenty other adults with single mothers who had the same outcome. I say all that to say, I’m not advocating for single motherhood, but what I am saying ties back into what Bondy is saying. You have to keep it moving once a man shows you that they don’t want to do what it is they should be doing. Take all of that extra energy you’re using to make that man do something different and put it into yourself, so that you can use that for your children who actually need it. And not just their dad, but any other man that pops into your life at a later time. Decenter them! *Btw, my dad says often these days his regrets about messing up the relationship with my mom. So you’re correct, they learn too late.

Feminine energy is more powerful than male Energy.💖🌟💖

This was an amazing video. My dad don't like talking to me because I'm not male identified. I'm focused on myself and refused to be controlled.

I like that you have these types of conversations.

Preach Bondy, even if you only get threw to 1, great job.

I love that,”He’s experiencing who I am”

You would enjoy Motherland: Fort Salem. Not only is it about witches, but it's lore is very focused on matrilineal ties and in subsequent seasons, how men's skill set can best contribute to the matriline

I love when you do these type of videos! You are so well rounded sis. I appreciate your takes on these topics! Wishing you a great Sunday!

Bondy I’m really starting to LIVE for these conversations. I love how you provide depth and an a adult pov. Thank you for bringing smart talk back

Come on Bondi with the smarts.

Think about Lioness. She hunts, she raises the cubs, and she teaches them to hunt. She is also the first to go to battle. The lion waits until prey is most vulnerable, then he attacks.

Bonds your words really touched my heart now I have let a nigga trapped me (due to lack of abortion resources) and since I got pregnant I see the switch in the relationship I’m 24 we went from spending time together almost everyday to now he has no time and always out with “friends” I let him go because I see where this is headed and I’m never doing this shit every again

Masculine and feminine are divine roles of everyone spiritually everything is a duality

Bondy, girl I wish I had your inspiration in my 20s😢 I literally gave my life to these men to come out on the loosing side. I am 46 now single and loveless. I definitely have no faith in these men

Thank you so much for your knowledge, insite, and willingness to share with others. I found you and your channel by way of Tasha K. It fills my heart to actually hear a woman speaking and experiencing truth! Please continue in positivity, light and love❤️

Thank you so much for posting this. It was confirmation for me. I’m looking forward to more content that debunks the idea of having men as our center. As women it’s important for us to understand ourselves and have dominion over our lives. We are the center, we make the world go round.

THIS ENTIRE VIDEO👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I really loved this talk and discussion.

I had a old man like that bondy and i never felt heard he thought he was smart he was but i had legal knowledge which he greatly needed but never trusted me fully to listen to my sugvestions and he still cant see his child smh

Speaking of things being passed down through women: - Women are always generationally grouped in threes, since we formed as eggs/ova in our mother’s ovaries when her mom was pregnant with her. - Male cells are only introduced via ‘The Single Act’ 🍆 🐱 - We all started out as girls/X chromosome

The way I watched this video twice. I really needed this. Thank you

You said a word hunny. It’s so bad with these men/ boys that my 9 year old great niece was like it’s a no. Not from what we tell her cause we don’t talk about men in front of kids. It’s what she has seen that makes her say oh no I will make sure I have my own everything. It’s a shame that she that young and know already.

Girl you got too much intelligence, emotional intelligence & common sense……they are going to say that you are crazy. But I feel you 100%

Therapy works. 🎉

I think a lot of us women have learned or adopted the ideal that outside love is more important and meaningful than self love. And I’m glad I’m realizing no love is greater than self love, and any outside love should come out of the strength of your love for yourself.

Bondy is my virtual YT soulmate ❤😂❤ like CharmedOnes??? My ultimate fav, the womens empowerment connection … it’s official🎉💅🏽

Hello, Bondy & Everyone else in the chat. 💖🌟💖

Hey Bondy!!! Followed from Princellas Power Live!❤❤❤ Go Baby Girl Go!!

This was wonderfully said. What you said about society vs nature was incredibly true.

I love this conversation! I was divorced for 18 years and remarried for 16 years now, we are more like roommates now. I’m ok with our situation, but I often think “what the hell was I thinking doing this again”. Being married is a lot of work, but we as women, MUST take care of self first.

Thank u for sharing! You told not one lie! But we all know people grow and evolve on their own time. You are amazing!! Please keep talkin yo talk! Niggas will catch up later, if they truly want to! ❤️🖤💚

Bondy I appreciate this I’m on this journey of De-centering men. I was raised in a family of Louisiana women, and they allowed their men to ruin them. I had to detach myself from my entire family because they weren’t capable of watching after me and teaching me what to look out for. After my divorce MY spirit lead me on this journey of self discovery, I’ve been doing great blessings opened for me. Not as much as when I was in a relationship ❤❤❤❤

Right! You have to be an Angel of a man to get me! PERIOD lol

Yes Bondy! Talk your ish! My husband is amazing but pales in comparison to me, you heard! JayZ wouldn't be half as impressive w/o Beyonce! Michelle and Barack...shall I go on!😂💙💙💙

New subscriber. I just came across this live. You literally spoke on what's in my soul. I wanna hear more of this. Thank you for existing... ❤❤❤❤

Young sons have to be taught how to be a good supportive Husband or partner that knows how to be a leader & when to let the Wife or partner be a leader with their strengths. 💖🌟💖

Spirit never lie

OMG!!!! Listen! KEEP SPEAKING THE TRUTH❤

Bondy, I really cannot believe some of the things we have in common. From the father - daughter dynamic, to the singing. I appreciate your mind set and I like that you think outside the box. We rarely disagree, and even if we do, the respect remains intact. When you mentioned that you and your dad love technology, I was like WHAT!! My dad was like the first dude in the hood copying all the good movies, with two VCRs, in the 80s lol! Even the story of how you and Lyric met was dope! God Bless you, lady!

I love your message. I am just starting to decenter men in my life after realizing that most of my reasons for dealing with them come from low self esteem and little to no sense of self. All i want is to be able to look at myself and smile despite what men have to say about my looks/personality. Thank you for this:)

I’m at work holding back tears. At 43mins into this conversation, realizing I needed this conversation. Thank You Bondy. 29 years old and it breaks my heart this conversation was never had with me because nobody gave my Mom this knowledge 😮‍💨 this cut deep. The power you have with words will forever be what aided my growth as a Woman.

I totally agree with you, I'm living it now! I need to find a way out of this!

I love you Bondy! 💗 I found you through Tasha K, you did amazing on there, just wanna say that. S/O to TK🎉 I may not agree with you on key topics, however I fully respect your views and understand where you are coming from; I do agree with many of your points, and you're just overall empowering 💃🏽👑 Keep shining✨🌹💕

Bondy out here saving lives 🙌

This was a great video 👏🏾

Girl, you on fire 🔥

Your insight on this matter is eye-opening for me. Some things I knew and others I now know. Thank you for sharing this. ❤

Much needed convo 💯

Bondy your wisdom at such a young age is so inspiring!

Carlos is starting to be the typical black man that hates black women. For the simple fact, he is loving Exposing them to the trauma, but yet he shed a lot of tears over Martell

Marriage is what you make it, and communication is the key

Women do it all because we are the Allmighty

Vibe z.... with me gyrl😂❤😊

Your conversation on Carlos makes me think about another BET show creator.

I love your mindset girrrllllll ❤ love you too. This video was bomb. Keep up the great work.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us. 💙

I actually don’t have a problem with Carlos displaying these relationships bc it validates everything that’s being said about men. Everyone acts like we hate men but here are the examples, they’re not an anomaly, it’s the norm.

Bondy, I'm from Baton Rouge, Geaux Lyric & Bondy ❤

Preach 💜

FACTS !!!!!!!

Wow! God is good and led me to this no doubt. The way you described your mother in her 40s is me NOW. I am 45 and I promise you I am DONE -with SO MUCH. But being aware of these feelings, I’m going on a fast and Vow of Silence on the 1st to GET IT TOGETHER on all levels! Mind, body and soul cause the 40’s have been a friggin’ TRIP!!!!

Bondy, thank you for this conversation. The comment about being free really resonated with me because I had similar feelings about my dad. When my dad passed, my mom became a different woman. She married my dad at 19, but hadn't had the opportunity to soar. Secretly, I don't think my mom wanted me to get married because of how he controlled her. This was a necessary conversation.

We been a matriarchal society until ...

Right!

Love Bondy! We are all leaders in in whatever is our best capacity. That’s what partnership is all about.

The whole alpha beta, etc behavioral pattern among animals was only observed in captive wolves. The scientist who first put that concept out there had to come back after more research years later and say that. In the wild what you have is family units with the adult males and females being both in charge of leading the pack. The alpha male wolf thing is only "natural" in unnatural circumstances or environments. Equal importance and equal responsibility is what is natural. The only time it tips is when one half the couple becomes vulnerable and needs the assistance of their partner to pick up the slack. Like just after childbirth or when one has been injured. To make this apply to humans across the board is ridiculous, because not all mammal animals do this shit anyway. Why wolves and not hyenas( matriarchal) or bonobos ( sexes live separate and exchange sex for favors amongst both sexes)?

Amen !!!

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 I sho did need this word TaDay!!!! Thank you Bondy Blue!!!!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Hey Bondy great video… I wonder if you ever rewatch the videos before you upload them? You mentioned having great/ positive relationships with family and romantic partners even though those same individuals were abusive and toxic towards you. I know you may have loved thembut, it sounds to me like you don’t really recognize good people, or love. Which is why I’m glad you’re on a self discovery journey. I just hope you understand that most “good people” don’t abuse, terrorize or intimidate their partners or family members and then give them gifts or affection and call it love. What you described was a very toxic upbringing and repeated abusive behaviors in your romantic relationships. I hope that when you find self love for yourself you can truly look back and see how unhappy and unhealthy those situations were. Anyway… that’s my two cents 🤷🏽‍♀️.

BIG FACTS 💯

It’s sad and interesting that though not “all” bm behave like these men do the fact of matter is it appears to be more than we thought previously. I guess. 🙄😒 Many BW share the same experiences with BM no matter what their social economic status is. Let’s end the abuse ladies. 🤔

As a black man I like to think I’m a wake and ascending and just so happen to be gay I very much am learning my faults and is l working on them I love these conversations and I love your view point

I love you and appreciate you for being you! My fav🩵💙🩵💙

“Oh I don’t know why you follow me” I cackled 😂😂

Damn Bondy😍😍😍

The notion of an alpha animal only comes into play when there are only males in the group and the one who is stronger gets to mate. However there is no such thing as an alpha male in human society and even in nature there is no such thing as an alpha because even the scientists who coined the term later discovered that he was incorrect in his assumption. Hell the idea that a man is supposed to be a leader is so off because even the bible says that the weaker will serve the stronger, and men are the weaker one's, they are mentally weaker than the woman this is why you will hear people say that the man provides an protects. His weakness is his mind yet his brut strangth is for protection, his job is to stand grad.

This is my first time watching a video of yours and I love the transparency I was a little lost about the show what’s the name of it so I can watch it but the gems are very needed I love it thank you for this information queen

Bondie Iwatch Tasha K and loved you on her show-but what you're saying here describes my life to a T-especially the dad and mom roles that was/is my parents-and the boyfriend thing that was me too Thank you for being real

44:13 SAAAAAANNNNG Bondy !!!! 🫶🏽💜🫶🏽

Naturally🎉

Self care

💙💙

the Charmed girls were the leaders them being sisters boosted their powers. Their dad was a warlock and wasn't as powerful as the girls. Also when the one sister was dating the devil( the doctor from nip tuck) he became good for a period of time because of his love for her. You can tell that was my show lol

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❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Chiiile I noticed the bruises immediately and tried my best to explain away as kinky/rough sex😢 I pray she gets out of it🙏🏽