Silence is golden. No need to express how you feel about another person's looks in the presence of your partner. How hard is that to understand?! Do you think you partner is blind?
Exactly. We notice men too when we're in relationships. But I'm not gonna talk about how attractive i think another man is period. Its rude and it makes ur partner wonder what else u could be thinking about this person.
Yep! Everything Tony is saying is 100% true. My dad always told me growing up, “I’m a man so I know how men think.” I used to think he was just talking but the older I got, the more I realized how true that statement was.
My dad said that a lot as well and I understood later what this statement mean, as a woman you can “know men”BUT you can not know them better than other men will. I don’t have a lot of male friends, but when I need to understand something about a man I’m dating I go to them for insight more than my female friends, always! Btw how was your date with your neighbour sis I wanna know come on🤣
Every man notices and looks at a good looking woman. No issues here. The trouble starts when he has to comment on her/stares/drools/ tries to make eye contact with her etc. No thank YOU.
It's too hard, I can't do it. When I was younger love was easy and felt good now it's all lies and mistrust and work. The Lord took my husband home and I will just be single the rest of my life. Good luck to y'all!
Say THAT! I say this all the time…. There will ALWAYSSSSS be somebody that looks better than me, has a better body than mine, more money than me, etc, etc… IT’S CALLED COMMITMENT! Once men make the choice to be with one person, they need GOD to help sustain them from temptation. Once men understand that and women accept that men are tempted far differently than women, the better off we’ll all be! Thanks Tony
@@ayana188 look maybe, but lust.. being with my man, nah never. I've got that under complete control, my engine doesn't start revving simply cause there's an attractive man infront of me
It's not that men and women don't naturally notice who they find attractive, it's the self-control and respect for your commitment. Also being grounded in what matters. Another beautiful woman or attractive man who doesn't know you intimately shouldn't be occupying space in your mind. Lots of people don't deserve a partner to begin with. Too simple minded.
exactly I see many men on the streets holding women hands and arms..and they look at you with interest and linger on you , their eyes dont shift..so yeah its weird..
My mama told me at a young age - you don’t want a man who is SOOOO obsessed with you that he can’t even acknowledge another woman. If I’m with a guy & I see him doing this typically the girl is very pretty/attractive - I’ll usually be the one to admit it & we end up agreeing & going on with our loving day! It’s all about confidence - men are visual creatures. You can see some pretty artwork - doesn’t mean you’re going to buy it & hang it up on your wall.
I absolutely agree. My man & I when to Pandora and the sales rep was attractive. I went ahead and said, “babe she’s pretty…” and he then gave me a compliment lol. So it made it a relaxing experience.
We make choices daily!!! To have the mindset that “ if a man is in love with me, he won’t look at another woman” that is an insane mindset. The man is not blind because he is in love with you. Like Tony said, we have never been men therefore we have to listen to men of God like Tony to understand men better.
@@practicalteachingchronicle6631 exactly sis! I can’t believe that people actually think this way! We are all able to see attractive people daily. It doesn’t mean we engage with them when we are involved
but would he turn around on the street to look at a woman who asked to marry and have a baby and he ghosted her without being honest ? I got ghosted and he is with another woman but looks at me each time..however I dont look at him anymore.. it depends of the look, for example I have a male 'friend' who looks at every woman for a long time..would turn around and would be dismissive of what you say and look at the other women..I think he is weird though ..but I only have one friend left so not easy..
Women also notice good looking men ... but your respect is what keeps you from breaking ya neck looking and salivating and commenting on the other man to your partner surely.
@@misselle1430 actually I wouldnt notice them if my crush didnt ghost me..people who notice or stare a lot is because they arent really interested in you I feel..who keeps looking at everyone..then my legs is closed until marriage and maybe the fact I want one man only keeps me from 'salivating' ..I also have other interests..I feel the men and women who salivates have nothing going on in their life too
Thanks for telling it like it is! The sad thing is some men act like it’s a huge sacrifice for them to choose the right thing….like they’re doing us a favor.
I swear, TG has me laughing so hard. When he started talking about Sheri making noises while she sleeping. 😂😂😂 A lesson with a good laugh, forever thankful for you!
Both woman, and man do not become blind just because they’re in a relationship. Both should choose to be respectable to themselves, and they’re partner. 💯
Agree beauty is beauty in either sex. Just be confident and cool. If your person is a dog and you don’t want to endure that, time to go with class and style. I appreciate beautiful men and women as works of art and good genes.
Feel free to crucify me for differing in opinion, that is fine but a lot of the comments on this video are in agreement with Tony's viewpoint but stretch it a little far. Many of the women here are saying "Yeah, all women look and lust too" No, we don't and neither do all men. No I'm not a man but I have had the benefit of relating with men who are STRONG in Christ, young and old. Is it wishful thinking? No. There is a remnant and it is not prideful or conceited to be able to honestly say, "God cleansed my heart of the snare of lust" and as I stay in communion with Him everyday, I stay clean. Purity and sanctification is God's will for us and there is no differentiation between male or female in His will. He says if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness. If there is an ongoing battle in your flesh, you may 1.) Not have the Holy spirit within you as the desires of the spirit are contrary to those of the flesh to keep you from doing what your flesh wants 2.) You may be feeding sin and not even trying to wage war against your flesh 3.) You are waging war but in your own strength, not God's or 4.) You are in a sanctification process and experiencing withdrawals as recently removing yourself from the toxins. When God cleanses your heart, He does not leave you with residue and expect you to go and chisel it off. He expects you to understand that you are weak and fallible and lean on Him for strength and day by day you grow stronger. As a young woman in her twenties who battled with lust a few years ago, though not always acting on it, I struggled. I wanted to sleep with men though I didn't, I ogled other men though I said nothing to them, I fantasized though I didn't act. I am young and yet I can say with a couple years under my belt that when I completely was broken down by the destruction I reaped from sowing to my flesh, I surrendered my entire self to the Lord and He washed me clean. Now it is rare that I even find a man attractive. And no that doesn't mean I switched to the other side. It means, sure I can notice that a man's flesh was shaped by the potter in a very aesthetically pleasing way and the thought ends there. I am not attracted to the person because whereas I used to focus more on the outside, I now cannot get attracted or stimulated by anyone unless I know and am known of them and they have a beautiful, pure heart and they are a God-fearing man. And even as a single woman I do not look at men. I am saving my eyes, my thoughts, my body for my husband and if it doesn't happen then I stayed faithful to God because flesh is just flesh and it's not that deep. The spirit and the soul is deep, deep beyond the flesh, literally, you can't even see it but you can experience it and the purity or raunchiness can turn a lovely vessel into garbage. I recognize lovely women outwardly who are some of the most rude acting people I know. The beauty diminishes and all they are is a well decorated vessel. Men, too, looks don't impress me and I know plenty men who feel the same. Just because one man gets online and says something he feels translates to all, it does not make it so unless he is God. Similar to how many women say "All women look too and/or lust" and that is not true. Im a YOUNG woman and for years I have had NO INTEREST to look or lust. My desires have changed thanks to GOD. It is arrogant in my opinion to assume that ALL people feel a certain way just because of a platform that you feel gives you all wisdom. Humans are fallible, yes, and cannot always get it right. And ALL are tempted and tried in many ways. But one persons weakness could be greed and another's anger and yet another's lust. So if you don't get a lustful man you may get one who battles anger. Yes biologically we are all sexually creatures but we are told to cast down any thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God as well as we are told to go to great lengths to not even put ourselves in a situation to cause us to stumble. When you have the Holy spirit within you the spirit will not even let you get to a certain point without you feeling grieved. If I start to feel I may be acting a little bit too much as in possibly coming off as flirty, though it is not my intention, I immediately get a check in my spirit. The spirit does not change based on whether He dwells in a male or a female. We all bear fruit and the fruit is the witness of who/what has our heart. So am I boasting here of myself being conceited acting Holier than thou or am I speaking the biblical truth that I have experienced FIRST HAND and boasting of God? Don't believe everything you read and hear. My agreement in this video is that we are ALL tempted and tried in many ways but since God/Jesus knows we are merely dust, He has given us the power to do what we are unable to do within ourselves apart from Him and when He enters our heart, His desires become ours. Temptation is the birds flying around your head, you can choose to move before they nest in your hair. You can choose to run before they poop on you or you can sit there like an idiot. Jesus had the option to list but no desire. Also me coming in the comments is not me trying to tear down "the lesson" or "teach what the speaker didn't teach" we are all entitled to free speech and a platform does not mean one is necessarily wiser or all knowing on a subject, nor does the gender/sex determine that even if im not a male to understand all things male. This comment is for correction concerning how some of the things spoken were twisted and/or taken out of context. There also is a difference, I should add, between a good man and a God-fearing man. A man with the Holy spirit has a new heart. That's all.
Hello Mr Gaskins. Speak the TRUTH! It's amazing to me how females look to you for information on the boys out here that call themselves men. However, they want to argue you down when you speak that TRUTH. Keep doing what you do. The females that this TRUTH is meant for will hear you! I love your facts and honesty. You are appreciated by the masses im sure.
Exactly! How Tony explains in his video at 13:48 is the truth. He is being very honest saying he can’t speak for a woman; he doesn’t know everything about a woman. He can tell us about the perspective of a man because he is a man. Being respectful to each other when encountering someone of the opposite sex, who we think is attractive is the key. Drooling and ogling is a no go.
There was a couple at my church. His woman would sit next to me in the choir stand. He was the usher and sat in the back. One day at church, she caught him staring at me. He did it on several occasions! So she stopped sitting next to me. Men don’t stop looking especially if you turned him down. He asked me out first and she didn’t know it. Men still look but don’t touch. It’s all about trust. Most Men don’t act on those temptations. It makes so much sense. Good word Tony.
@cindee D So sad Sis. She must be a nervous wreck if she gotta WATCH him like that. She can't be everywhere he goes. Sure he's looked at many, many more women. Too bad he wasn't "SMART ENOUGH" to not make it sooo obvious that he was looking at you and making her think something was going on between the 2 of you. 😐
Yes, we can't control another person's thoughts!! That is such a great point to remember!! No sense in worrying about what your partner is dreaming about because that just drains your energy & you lose sight of your own dreams. Need to keep focusing on being your best self in order to radiate with confidence & attract love towards you💘
As a woman, no we should not say things like men should never notice beauty and attraction. The issue isn't really about attraction but lust which is an entirely different situation. Lust is the only sin that God literally tells us to run from! We as human beings, are not as strong willed as we would like; sadly, given the opportunity some would give in. As per our thoughts, we may not be always be responsible for what pops into our mind but we are responsible for what we ruminate and lust over. Therefore, we have to bring our thoughts into captivity and not let them run rampant!
Once again Brother Gaskins thank you. When I was 16 my great uncle told me "A Man is going to be a Man" which means temptation is all around him, but he have to choose his path and decisions. That saying has stuck with me. So everything you is saying so is True. We as Women and Men have to be renewal daily in our mind, and Know our value and worth. This was 🔥🔥💯💯. Covered by YAHWEH AMEN. Also this was funny in certain parts of this message.
I'll always look at other men however, honestly God did deliver from lusting after other men, That's the difference, and I thank God for my husband doing the same, Men should look just not long enough to imagine (lust), Blessings Bro Tony
@Rocky I asked God to deliver me from that after my divorce bc it was definitely a Stronghold @the time, he will keep you if you Really want to be kept, Blessings
A woman is foolish to think that if a man is in a relationship or get married, he becomes blind and gay. He doesn't become Stevie Wonder. Ladies please! Stop this non-sense. He's still human.
@@practicalteachingchronicle6631 Well, I agree with your first comment but gloating/inappropriate remarks in front of you/your partner is a disrespectful. 😊
@@practicalteachingchronicle6631 everyone is a little insecure which isn’t a sin…but nah refrain from going in about another chick in front of me if you don’t want it done to you…Most men you can’t even look out the window towards another man buts it’s cool for him to stare or comment??? Um NO
@@ayana188 Thank you. This is super disrespectful to me. Why is a man telling me about another woman?!?! I do not need Captain Obvious to point out another person's looks to me, nor do I think it is cool for me to be like "Hey honey, that guy is really packing. Did you see how tight his abs are? I mean, wow."
I know you are speaking to me! Thank you, I needed this message. You addressed a few things in here that I’ve struggled with; particularly wanting to know every thought of my ex-husband. I was insecure. He wasn’t faithful and I tried to compete with that. I thought if I knew every thought then I would be able to feel secure. I was wrong and it drove me absolutely crazy. It made me feel worse and I’m sure it made him feel less of a man because I would attack his honesty. He (my ex) is also considered high functioning but thank you for addressing mental retardation or cognitive delays. I later understood this contributed to his impulse control. You touched so many topics and I now understand to not solicit information and to develop the maturity to feel secure in myself and not look for any man to fix that within me. Needed this! Thank you.
Thank you Tony for being transparent and truthful! When younger, immature and insecure in male-female relationships, I could not understand why a guy, attracted to me, would look at another woman or comment on some aspect of her he found attractive. It was extremely hurtful. I ‘cancelled out’ potential suitors on the basis of not being ‘a one woman type man’ (and I didn’t mean ‘one woman at a time’ among a stream of women mentality)! My young mindset had determined not to ever be hurt, thus, I’d ‘kick ‘em to the curb!’ Seriously! However, thank God for the Holy Spirit working in me, educating me, directing me to ask men, vs women, questions r/t male behaviors in male-female relationships that I allowed a man into my life! Ladies, listen to Tony. He’s sharing God anointed gems to help us not to harm us. I am truly appreciative of the wisdom.
I am definitely immersed!!!! The value here will always supersede any tangible dollar. I am grateful for you and your family's continual devotion. Additionally, The length and measures in which you will go to ensure the message is well received is beyond nobile. !!! I will always be grateful!
Unpopular opinion here: Women and men are so different. Men struggle with lust more than women. It hurts women when their man looks because a woman had a deep Need to be cherished loved and adored and as women we know that ultimately our beauty is what men see as valuable in a relationship. It's a respect thing and a man should never mention another woman in his wife's presence unless she is totally secure and ok with that. It's like if a woman talks about men that make more money or have a bigger package; her man would not like that. Good video though w good perspective and definitely illustrates how different men and women are. Blessings
Well then chances are your man could be cheating emotionally or not, or even closet gay. Or whatever else lies like kids he has elsewhere . Men are really simple. No figuring out needed. They serve their needs The method used doesn't matter . Some try but in the end they serve their needs.
That’s exactly why I want a righteous man that cares about what God thinks, He has a conscious before God which will help him choose righteousness. Teach Tony.
LUST IS A MONSTER. It is beast that's NEVER SATISFIED. A person has to tame and control it It you don't Control it it will control you. There is no co existence. Either you dominate LUST or it will dominate you. It's a forever battle.
Sometimes the worst advice women will receive is from another woman. Like the saying “the way to get over one man is to get under another”. I have heard that so many times in my life and believed it until I started listening to your Channel and RC Blake’s channel
Once again Tony you are right! The Bible writer Job said that he “made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at a girl” (Job 31:1) . The fact that he said he made a covenant indicates that he made a personal choice to control his eyes so that he could control his heart! Men are visual..that’s how you all were made but as you say, That doesn’t mean that you can’t choose to be faithful! Thank you
Dear Tony, I am so grateful you made this video, I thank God for making you the way you are and explain, help people grow! You made me laugh so many times 😂 because you were speaking plain truth! I am a woman and I guarantee you that we (i include myself as you can see) all women acknowledge a handsome man, the good qualities they can see in other men, even admire those men that have a particular aspect, trait, or physical attractiveness or charm that we like... however, we too intentionally choose to be lovingly faithful to the man we are building a life with, and in many cases, it leads some of us to look at our man and admire all his goodness and love him more intentionally and express gratitude for how blessed we are having a man that he too chooses to be with us, values the life we are building together knowing we do the same too. This pleases God and blessings multiply as a result! Thank you for using your mum and dad as example of what I just said... any woman who says to have never acknowledged and spoke about another man's good looks or any other goodness... i just dont believe her! Sending much love to all and God's blessings to us all!
Please, please make a video on why women should immediately leave men who hit them! I know you have alluded to this in the past, but it should be stressed continually. We live in a fallen world & Women are listening to you, Tony. In Gaby Petito’s case, her boyfriend slapped her. I believe they both hit one another as well. He’s a suspect in her missing report. The FBI is still investigating. Police were initially contacted in formal domestic abuse allegations and the couple opted not to press charges, based on the “love” between them. As you’ve taught us. when a man hits a woman he also isn’t afraid to take her out. Please continue talking about this. Thanks for the blessed work that you’re doing.
I'm understanding when it comes to men and lust. I know that especially in today's world its so much to see. It really takes a mature man to press through that.
I think maybe I don’t want a relationship because why would I want my husband lusting after someone else? Whether he chooses to cheat or not I’m not interested in the situation 😭am I immature ? Because....
I'm still working on accepting that part that Tony has explained 🙃 and knowing when it has gone too far. Let's pray that we can some answers 🙏🏾 because it's deep !
You not immature. It's biological on the male part to lust after other women. I think we are all getting soo smart that we are asking these type of deep questions. Knowing the whole picture, any sane person should opt out. Why ppl don't? Because they care more abt the intimacy,kids,society rules .. etc...Stay out the game is also good choice in my opinion . Put ur focus else where can be fulfilling too .
Always outstanding teaching vids that are Christ centered. God bless you, Mr. Gaskins! People will have to travel far and wide to find material that is even close to this. The Truth sets us free!
Thank you! This video is so on point Gaskins! Once humans realize that we are all uniquely made by God..jealousy, envy, etc of another person will have no power..if the connection is truly by God. No other person can match the connection. Realize that there is Only one you!
@@ericajanellelifecoaching hey Coach Erica! 🥰You have been missing lol but for a good reason! Congratulations on your non-profit! I'm not on much because of school so I understand.
Bro Tony thanks for speaking to this topic about not understanding the number 1 thing about a man . That's why I love your teaching you keep it so real with us and you're also transparent about your life. And the more am receiving what God gives you to us it just let's me know more and more I don't know nothing about a Man. Am grateful for your gift that God has given you to help the family and Relationships. Thanks a million for all you do 🙏🏾❤️
Tony this video was so helpful. I’m guilty of being overly optimistic in the past, and taking everything extremely personal. Because of this video I was able to accept that it doesn’t have anything to do with me but how men were created. I know this will help me so much in my future relationship. God bless!
Don’t let anyone, including yourself, attack your character because they find out a temptation of your mind. Those thoughts are between you and God and God knows your heart.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! VERY INSPIRING AMAZING ENLIGHTENING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS ! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021
Compliment with respect is what I always say. If his compliments are disrespectful then mine will be too, times 10 sorry. Whenever I do that the man usually sees how it feels. Then his next compliment will be honest but respectful.
Gurrlll Do unto others as they do unto you 🤣🤣🤣 when I noticed a man i was with was a break ya neck looker of other women ... gurlll I also looked at other men x10 lol ... and it gets to them even more ... they stop that bs real quick I don't even have to bring it up 🤣🤣🤣
This is so true there are hardly words to put into a phrase that explains the issue is women’s feelings about their femininity getting in the way, and women feel like they are supposed to be pardoned for their expressions and reactions JUST because they are female. Self-assess and keep your sensibilities about your femininity in comparison to another’s woman’s femininity in check.
Videos like these makes me accept the fact that God knows what his servants need and directs them with his grace and power. As I watched this video, you are saying things that resonate with me to the T! Thank you for all you do, May God bless your family.
I make sounds and talk in my sleep, sometimes laughing. First time my husband heard it he was shocked and scared. I replay whatever happened during the day. Lol now he is used to it and just watch me listen and replay whatever I say.
I've had thoughts that made me asked myself "aa since when you're so?. How you get?" I just fling it to the delete bin in the back of my mind and say nahhh this ain't me..lol. It's like left and right brain in war. It's all about what we choose to act on. Then we see our character. Be blessed.
Interesting video Tony! You have had so many different experiences! I believe what you say about men. No need to argue. Temptation is part of life for all of us and it is powerful! I am being tempted right now in my life but I choose not to act on it. The thoughts do cross my mind though! 🙏🏻 Also, even though i live a healthy and active lifestyle, im not passing up on dessert. Especially brownies 😍
Choice….exactly Tony. We as women must accept reality. Our beliefs must be challenged. We are human we will have chemistry with other people. This is why we must do our inner work. Our job is to Not compare ourselves. This is where knowing that God’s love is perfect comes into play. People are not perfect, but can still choose not to be unfaithful. They value their relationship.
