DEFENDING my most questionable fictional crushes (a presentation) 

Pee

Faline freaking out about the map from Dora having a son is hilarious

closest thing we will get to world peace is collectively having the most questionable fictional crushes

Faline: “I’m not mentally ill” Also Faline: Proceeds to describe how she kidnapped and imprisoned a sentient being so she could voyeuristically observe it’s every move and then condition it into seeing her as it’s only source of safety

Highlyyy offended that Map is being falsely accused of having a son when he doesn’t. It’s his nephew 😭😭

This went from "I'm not a furry" to "Maybe I am a furry?" To "Am I a sadist furry?" In less than 15 minutes. Faline out there speedrunning this shit!

Having a crush on enderman, perfectly reasonable. He's an emo guy who is scared of water and is afraid of being looked at. Just a shy lil guy who probably has issues and a dramatic backstory

When your first crushes are lightning McQueen and nick Wilde your opinions are valid

Love how he tried to manipulate the enderman when he was 10 💀

Moral of story: Faline's crushes are witty, powerful, self-confident characters.

I just find it funny that young Fal didn't tell her friends her crush was the map Not because she thought it was akward or something, but because she thought their crushes were also the map. THAT GOT ME SO HARD I-

I have a feeling faline is gonna have a field day watching "the bad guys" 💀 Edit: Oh hey Zootopia 2 is in the works rn

as someone who hasn’t experienced a single ounce of romantic feelings towards anyone or anything, this was an experience alright

"Yes my taste in women is sunshine and rainbows and my taste in men is ❓️😟" is probably the most relatable thing said by anyone.

The way you just casually skipped over Raven from Teen Titans despite us all seeing her on the computer was hilarious.

tbh i had a crush on the enderman too- i’d research all of their lore and language to find out more… now i’m confused if it was species envy or attraction 💀

and i thought my crushes were embarrassing. here is falinesan admitting to having a crush on a literal hand, map, enderman, fox and TRIANGLE 💀💀 edit: it turns out, people actually find bill cipher attractive, my reply section is hilarious 😂

your taste in fictional men is "emotionally and/or physically unavailable" and i can relate to that

Faline going through 5 stages of grief: Denial: 5:24 Anger: 5:42 Bargaining: 5:27 Depression: 12:11 And acceptance: 12:44 edit: thank you for liking my comment that i made with no thought in mind. Im glad everyone enjoyed this very good documentary that i made in trying to prove he “is in fact not a furry but accepts in the end” but in the matter of a few minutes we can see that he was infact a furry.

This has given me the idea to collect my friends, have us all make horrific presentations of our embarrassing past and present crushes, and like an Ace Attorney trial, try to defend ourselves as each slide gets worse and worse. Thank you, you absolute simping madman.

Bill was a respectable crush, I mean he’s a psychopath and awful but he’s also fascinating

“He’s a pathetic twink” That sums up half my fictional crushes and myself

Being 10 is not an excuse, for spending half an hour grooming an enderman

I can never tell whether my Nick Wilde crush is my furry awakening or exception

Faline: I’m not mentally I’ll. Also Faline: explains how she has or had a crush on a map, a furry, a dark being, a hand, a glowing triangle with hands and legs, and a chicken, **

When Faline mentioned triangle and Tumblr within two sentences I sadly knew immediately where it was going. I spent WAY too much time on… uh… you know, we all sadly do

true definition of " I prefer personality ".

when i was in kindergarten i brought for show & tell . . an ENTIRE presentation about how 5 yr old me was gonna marry astro boy lmao, science fair board, coloring book drawings my grandma printed out for me. ohh, the deep confusion of the teacher that day. . **Priceless**

faline:im not a furry also faline:*show us 5 of her crushes none of them are human*

You'd be sad because Lord Shen is already taken. A guy in the Lord Shen fandom called TheGreatestShenFan literally married him, and had Dreamworks (The guys who made the film) attend the marriage. He even got an official certificate from them and everything.

diary of a wimpy kid being one of the books holding up the laptop really adds to the whole presentation

THE WAY MY SMILE WENT AWAY WHEN SHE SAID “it’s not Diego” IN THE DORA PART 😭

Faline: “im not mentally ill” Also Faline: *Owns girl in pieces*

When you started talking about Wednesday, the whole time I was going "Please don't be Thing, please don't be Thing, please don't be Thin-" He does radiate main character energy tho

NO FUCKING WAY I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A CRUSH ON DORA'S MAP, THANK YOU FALINE FOR EXISTING ILY

You know I didn’t get lord Shen at first, but the. I remembered the fanart that drew him as a guy with long flowing white hair and I totally got it. Also love that Shen is just your little meow meow (a term used to describe a character that you just think is so pathetic and useless, especially if they are also overly angsty and evil)

The moment he said he would introduce a video game character, my weird mind went to Steve. As he talked about Link and Princess Peach, I thought, "Actually, what kind of person- even Faline- would like a bunch of blocks painted to somewhat resemble a human? And what would Steve look like if he was human, anyways? And what would all the other mobs look like?" And then my jaw dropped

this man is too precious for the world

Would Faline say yes if asked out by Thing? Hands down

The second you said "just a triangle", I was screaming "BILL!BILL!BILL!BILL!" in my head so LOUD LMAO

Starting with Thing, I also retroactively started feeling like all of these crushes are just Faline mistaking genuine interest in someone with a crush

Faline: “I’m not a furry” Also faline: “Am I a sadist furry?”

Faline really fell for the tall, dark, mysterious, doesn't-talk-a-lot guy who runs away when you get too close. the enderman

i love watching people try to explain themselves on crushes when im an aromantic. because for me im like "..hoW DO YOU FIND THESE THINGS ATTRACTIVE?" and that makes it so much funnier

When she said, "But have you considered, just a triangle" My brain was hit by a Mac-Truck of nostalgia and "We'll Meet Again" started playing in the background

she never disappoints.

Edit: Now nobody knows what I said to get so many likes

Faline really went from “I’m not a furry” to “wait am I a furry?” To “am I a sadist furry?”

The slow realization of what fanart you were about to show of Nick was _intense_ My thoughts were basically “Wait… was it the abortion comic? PLEASE SAY IT WAS THE ABORTION COMIC”

Faline hasn't fooled me for a second when talking about his Wednesday crush. I was chanting "hand hand hand" and then screamed "I KNEW IT"

Alternative title: Faline treads on the line of being a furry for 15 minutes

the way i share/shared EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE CRUSHES with faline 😭😭 i cannot express how much i agree like no you're cooking bro keep going

have I ever had fictional crushes? no do I like watching people die with their fictional crushes? yes, also the edits have good audio so bonus. edit: might as well mention the fact I don’t really understand how you feel when you have a crush so I may have had one but I am clueless on crushes anyways. edit 2: I thought about the fact I could be aroace and I am definitely ace or in the ace spectrum but I have no clue if I am aro or not, I definitely could be but I am unsure as of now. edit 3: I knew I was ace before this comment ever existed probably for about 2 whole years tbh and uh thank you for welcoming me to your community of the cake memes

The whole time I was like, "It's not the hand. It can't be the hand. She's gushing over mommy so it's obviously mommy." I'm flabbergasted

OK BUT THE PROCREATE JOKE AT 2:47 HAD ME WEEZING FOR LONGER THAN I WOULD LIKE TO ADMIT

I WAS LIKE 5 SIMPING FOR AN ENDERMAN I REMEMBER BUILDING IT A HOUSE AND GIVING IT A BIRTHDAY PARTY 💀💀💀

It's okay to have questionable crushes in the past or in the present. We have all gone through that phase before. Your reasons are valid.

"He's a pathetic twink" is relatable because some of my crushes are basically intelligent people who can kill me but at the same time, can be considered pathetic twinks.

As soon as you mentioned "Wednesday", I knew which character you meant. He's just the ideal male specimen.

1:32 not the one second chance to see raven from teen titans 😂

Faline san gets more relatable by the minute. I mean, who doesn't love thing? But in all seriousness, we're all falling down a pit of no return at this point.

When Faline said "triangle body type" Bill Cipher was the first thing that popped into my head. I was right-

Let's be honest here,at some point we all had a crush on Nick Wilde.

Please I’ve watched this fifteen times in crying Also of all the hot characters in Wednesday you choose a hand. A literal hand. Ooh boy wattpads gonna have a field day with this one… And now the memories of my terrible fictional crushes are coming back haha okay

Honestly, this makes me feel so much better about myself (not in judging you kind of way), just the random fictional crushes you've had and the way you talk about them reminds me of myself. I would love to just sit and crush on fictional characters together!!

7:59 my bro just explained how Stockholm syndrome works with the help of Minecraft, call it mind-craft, if you will

To be fair fanart does make all things better. Like humanoid versions of non human characters, like Bill Cipher. The wild artists that you find on the internet can be extremely talented.

Girl literally fell for a dorito💀 Understandable tho

Faline: *starts making puns* Everyone: *claps* Faline: I’m serious Everyone: *silence*

11:37 “I’VE GOT SOME CHILDREN I NEED TO TURN INTO CORPSES!”

we cant blame her for liking thing emotionally cause lets be honest, thing is the most ✨ICONIC✨character in wednesday

No because my obsession with the enderman never truly went away, it’s still my favourite mob. THE THING, YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT *bill cipher crush ptsd hit me like a truck*

"I love it when my men can shut up, crawl on all fives, and practice self care." -Faline San, 2022 🤣🤣

I clicked on this fully expecting a presentation of why Faline is our leader I was not disappointed when I saw the endermen.

11:20 he’s really like “but I can fix him”

8:37 I really was about to say how relatable it was to have a crush on morticia but then you said someTHING completely different 🏃‍♀️💨

i thought i had weird fictional crushes but now i have someone that i can relate with 💀

THE MAP HAS A SON?!

Interesting. I never truly had a crush on a fictional character, but I understand what you mean. For most people, the idea of "fictional crushes" isn't the same as literal crushes, so there is a lot more leniency with what is considered reasonable. Your choices are fine. Good and funny presentation!

the amount of joy i felt watching this is undescribable

Fal being a simp towards an enderman is something I never knew I needed

On 5, my jaw dropped because I was seriously obsessed with him in 4th grade and literally maladaptively daydreamed about him pretending he was real and would take over the world with me standing by his throne as his right hand man and lover as I watched the people who tormented me burning. It makes sense that I have a counselor now.

faline talking about his weird fictional crushes makes me feel better about my own

3:13 IM SORRY THIS CASUALLY WRECKED ME

This is encouraging me to do a presentation of my fictional crushes

he is unhinged and i love it

I literally said "please not the hand" and Faline proceeded to show me the hand right after, the way my jaw ran away.

11:05 YESSSSS BILLL IM NOT THE ONLY ONE when I first watched gravity falls bill was instantly my fav

this makes me feel so much better about like 50% of my fictional crushes and a callout in the other 50%

finally someone who shares my love for endermen 🥰

7:26 Faline, I didn’t watch your streams, but I’m really concerned for your mental health

OKAY FALINE IS SO VALID THOUUUGGGHH! I can somewhat understand most of these. ALSO I TOTALLY GET HIM ON THE ENDERMAN! I actually did a similar (but worse) thing where I flooded the entire End, built a house, put a single Enderman in the house (who couldn't leave cause everything was covered in water) and then only put flowers down so he'd be forced to pick one up and offer it to me.). After like three hours he jumped into the water and died, and I was so upset 😂 These are all so valid though, no judgement from me, it do be like that and I'm definitely into weirder 😂🤝

I’m glad I’m not the only one with a “I’m not a furry but…” crush

13:36 - DID SHE JUST SAY VERY TASTY

*I personally like to think that this is the slideshow that would let Faline pass college*

Ok I know I am a little bit late (happy 2024 to yall) but when you showed enderman I started clapping so hard. Hear me out. One of my biggest crushes (and still is) is enderman because my brother made me play minecraft for the first time when I was like 6 years old, and I was scared as f of zombies, skeletons and literally e v e r y t h i n g that could kill me... and enderman was the only monster that didn't attack me. At the moment I didn't know that enderman could kill you by looking at their eyes so I thought they were the only good monsters on this game and he made me feel safe and secure for some reason. Also because I like tall people- enderman is tall so... you know what I mean. And I loved his powers too, I thought it was epic and cool, and for me he was the most powerful monster. Yeah I'm not okay but hey, you're not the only one.

How did I know you had a crush on the map the moment you said Dora?

If Faline was so heartbroken about the map from Dora having a kid, I can't imagine how heartbroken she would be on the end of the zootopia abortion comic series

I can't even imagine trying to explain, let alone defend, my fictional crushes to anyone outside of my sister. You are absolutely mad, and I have so much respect for you regardless of your taste in fictional characters. Edit: "He knows the way... To my heart. He can help me if I get lost... In his eyes." Hon, I wish I had a SHRED of this confidence. I will talk about my fictional crush all day, and if anyone so much as jokes about me finding them attractive, I will perish on the spot. Edit 2, electric boogaloo: *"He's a pathetic twink."* _(Careless Whisper plays)_ AFSGSGSGFAJA I AM RUNNING ON 4 HOURS SLEEP AND THIS MADE ME SOB LAUGHING OH MY GOSH-

13:34 can we just appreciate the fact that faline-san actually randomly started speaking malay and chinese-