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Dismissive Avoidant: The Best Strategy To Get A Dismissive Avoidant Back | Coach Court 

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In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin talks about the best strategy to get a dismissive avoidant back.
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Video Title: Dismissive Avoidant: The Best Strategy To Get A Dismissive Avoidant Back | Coach Court
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Комментарии : 1 тыс.   
@roshalllambert
@roshalllambert 3 года назад
As a Dismissive Avoidant I can confirm that this is a good strategy.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Roshall Lambert Thank you giving feedback!
@Revolution-tl5wo
@Revolution-tl5wo 2 года назад
I have absolutely no desire to spend one more minute of my life in relationships where I don't get my needs met, and someone else's insecure attachment issues are their problem to resolve, not mine. I'm done being part of peoples' healing process. Come to me with your shit together or not at all.
@paulking8928
@paulking8928 2 года назад
@@Revolution-tl5wo Period!
@space935
@space935 2 года назад
So a dismissive can go around and do whatever they want ..do the hookups and disrespect and ppl should be okay with it ? Oh hell na
@roshalllambert
@roshalllambert 2 года назад
@@space935 There is a difference between being a dismissive Avoidant and a person just doing hookups and disrespecting people. There is no link between the two. Any insecurely attached person can be disrespectful at any given point and there are root reasons for that.
@robertlopez6092
@robertlopez6092 3 года назад
I want to be a dismissive avoidant so the world can revolve around me.
@tigerlily6298
@tigerlily6298 3 года назад
Lol yes!
@sonaliverma1218
@sonaliverma1218 2 года назад
hahahahhahahaha
@kaym3359
@kaym3359 2 года назад
lmaoooo
@petrpulchart8010
@petrpulchart8010 2 года назад
Hahahaaa 🤣
@alexandriamfuta5731
@alexandriamfuta5731 2 года назад
😂😂😂😂
@rodneyliber
@rodneyliber 8 месяцев назад
Dating a dismissive avoidant is one of the most traumatic things that a normal person can do in their life.
@exoticbutters8217
@exoticbutters8217 5 месяцев назад
my ex.. didnt even know what a DA was until years later, she was a DA.. explains alot of my trauma from her
@whiteswordwarrior9995
@whiteswordwarrior9995 5 месяцев назад
@@exoticbutters8217 prob means shes not a DA but just done with u
@lilacrose9271
@lilacrose9271 3 месяца назад
I can confirm. I've lost over 5 kgs during our relationship and can't gain weight at all. Its emotionally and physically stressful
@veravizelkova9558
@veravizelkova9558 2 месяца назад
@@lilacrose9271 Same thing happened to me, I lost 8 kgs and cant gain back.
@tankthearc9875
@tankthearc9875 10 дней назад
a secure person becomes anxious
@motjon
@motjon 3 года назад
How to be with a Dismissive Avoidant is basically having the same strategy of being happy single. Because the way they love, you might as well be.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
It’s important to be happy single. If you’re secure you can help them become secure also
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 года назад
Yup👌🏻
@kaycard766
@kaycard766 3 года назад
Exactly. I guess he helped me be happy single.
@empress_highpriestess3307
@empress_highpriestess3307 3 года назад
@@kaycard766 nothing makes you happy single like being tormented for being committed
@japonesa5186
@japonesa5186 3 года назад
Facts. 😂
@LaraCroft
@LaraCroft 3 года назад
or... just get rid of them and find someone who is emotionally available....
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 года назад
🤗❤👌🏻
@bologneseprince
@bologneseprince 3 года назад
so true bestie
@The_Darrell
@The_Darrell 3 года назад
True :(
@kourtneymarie8995
@kourtneymarie8995 3 года назад
Unless we’re trying to work on ourselves okay 😭 lol
@laurabeigh283
@laurabeigh283 3 года назад
AMEN!
@jeanjean4245
@jeanjean4245 3 года назад
I want someone who loves me and not someone who avoids me .period . Life is too short for psycho games.
@cloudslady3400
@cloudslady3400 2 года назад
Me too...I’m sorry for what da’s had to go through...and I know they’re really injured...but it’s not my fault and we all deserve deep love and things that deserve trying for✨💜
@bentuck7929
@bentuck7929 2 года назад
@@cloudslady3400 Love is a two way street. No one should have to feel bad for not wanting to date DAs. In fact DAs should work on themselves before dating ANYONE!
@coralnegro3702
@coralnegro3702 2 года назад
@@bentuck7929 They will not, they will rarerly admit they are the problem...well if we are anxious attachment it is our problem too.
@bentuck7929
@bentuck7929 2 года назад
@@coralnegro3702 I already get educated and help for my attachment, I think everyone should. The divorce rate is insane!!! This is not acceptable. Marriage is a serious commitment, yet people get married willy nilly. They don't ever address certain issues and think its normal or will go away. The divorce rate is just so wrong. And many times BOTH people in the relationship are the problem. People also talk to much about sex. Sex isn't a relationship. Sex doesn't even mean there is genuine Love there. I see to many so called "Love Coaches" talking about sex and getting laid. It has completely destroyed the way we think about dating, relationships, and their meaning.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@Blasianfurylove
@Blasianfurylove 3 месяца назад
What is a turnoff is them not taking accountability and letting their ego drive. Broke up with me, went no contact but keeps contacting me to “let me know he is thinking of me” 👀💀 I replied, “DUH! You’re thinking of me, no more contact since you decided to let me go.” Blocked. 19yr pattern broken this morning. 😌😮‍💨 I can breathe.
@amyunderwood2470
@amyunderwood2470 Год назад
“They can’t heal until they discover what life is like without you.” Perfectly said!!
@MinaWest
@MinaWest Год назад
Do not reach out to them! You deserve someone who will fight for you, work on being a secure attachment style, focus on yourself. If they come back thats on them, but they have to work for you.
@daniellejohnson7941
@daniellejohnson7941 6 месяцев назад
Dismissive Avoidants don’t work for relationships , they would rather dismiss you than have to confront themselves and their feelings so they do their best to avoid the hard parts and hope that you will come back , they’re not the type to reach out and say omgg i miss you im so sorry. Theyd rather try to act like nothing ever happened and tiptoe back into the relationship by getting you to spend time with them/keeping communication(access) (even if it’s minimal) but they are going to do everything to avoid the hard stuff if every way.
@skay9096
@skay9096 6 месяцев назад
Nah I will get her back she's my girl I will fight for her ,I will get her well ,I will even if it means destroying my peace in the process I won't give up on her. Edit:nah man not worth the effort
@Joe-jc5ol
@Joe-jc5ol 6 месяцев назад
We deserve a lot of things, unfortunately people are not perfect. There's always something...
@exoticbutters8217
@exoticbutters8217 5 месяцев назад
@@skay9096 the edit is crazy but so true 😅😂 didnt even know my ex was a DA for years and it explains so much now, the trauma i experienced from her will never be healed.
@tankthearc9875
@tankthearc9875 10 дней назад
thats when they want you when you are not needy
@alananderson007008
@alananderson007008 3 года назад
Having a DA partner is too much for me to handle. I never felt so insecure and anxious in all my life. DA can get the love they want from their partners, but never give their partners love back when they want. Its really frustrating. After 3 months that she broke up with me I'm actually glad it didn't worked out. Is it worth to get my avoidant ex back? Definitely not at all
@gozitan5
@gozitan5 2 года назад
Totally relate to the being insecure and anxious….the worst in my life !
@goulnazgalieva3121
@goulnazgalieva3121 2 года назад
Same 🙁
@sonaliverma1218
@sonaliverma1218 2 года назад
I went through this for 8 years. I was insecure and anxious all the time! Ended up gaining 50 lbs! It's better to cut them out of your life early.
@loupyemt249
@loupyemt249 2 года назад
Totally agree
@RojitaCali
@RojitaCali 2 года назад
Gosh, completely agree! I feel like I have to change not only who I am, but what I say, what I do… Etc. And, what are they offering? Besides zero. No thanks.
@CASchack
@CASchack 4 года назад
So true that they don’t like pressure. The downside is that you will constantly be walking on eggshells because they will not affirm you in love like a secure person will...you will get small doses and no more, forcing you to settle for scraps if you want to keep them around.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
This is often the case. You’re right
@juliejay5436
@juliejay5436 4 года назад
Yeah, it is true. And the expression - walking on eggshells - is extremely appropriate when it comes to DAs.
@sarahbright5231
@sarahbright5231 3 года назад
It took my recent ex 5 years to arrange a date with me. I wasn’t too bothered just saw it as fun but then we started dating and I starting falling for him. After 2 months he ghosts me and I’ve known the guy 19 years!! Before ghosting he had me on eggshells. Not a horrible person but I’d chose not to date another avoidant.
@USMCGUY2020
@USMCGUY2020 3 года назад
You just described my ex bro she only gave small amounts of affection i was always walking on eggshells to keep her happy.
@soulfulspec
@soulfulspec 3 года назад
@@IamCoachCourt hey coach. Can u make a video on how or if dismissive avoidants deal with regret of breaking up with someone? Do they even contemplate these things or repress?
@Lubbe1984
@Lubbe1984 2 года назад
To be with a avoidant person is allready to be like single
@The_Darrell
@The_Darrell 3 года назад
2:18 "You have to be patient, you have to let them come to you"... k, indefinite no contact it is. If she contacts me and I'm still single, I'll reply... If I'm taken by that time, too bad... her loss. As she said, nobody has ever treated her as good as I did... And I can guarantee nobody would have put up with half the stuff I did.
@kourtneymarie8995
@kourtneymarie8995 3 года назад
How long did you guys date and or talk?
@adoptioncorner1984
@adoptioncorner1984 3 года назад
@@kourtneymarie8995 im curious of the answer too
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
I know of a man who can manifest your ex partner back and restore back your broken relationship easily__
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
He brought back my husband after 7 years of separation and brought us together in peace within 3days and settle my marital challenges easily His name is Dr Miracle Gabe,he can also help you out__
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
""Whts" App " him __
@berry6313
@berry6313 2 года назад
1. Give them the break up..to let them feel the grief( takes 2 months aprox) 2. No contact with them..let them process their emotions. 3. Don't make the initial breakup tough 4. Reach out after 6 weeks..enquire about how they are doing. Don't talk about commitment. 5. No drama and negativity. 6. Do not pressurize them.
@sproonianlitch8232
@sproonianlitch8232 Год назад
What if i dont wanna reach out?
@marceloferreira4957
@marceloferreira4957 8 месяцев назад
@@sproonianlitch8232 Then you just move on
@ralucadobre610
@ralucadobre610 6 месяцев назад
@@sproonianlitch8232they reach out
@exoticbutters8217
@exoticbutters8217 5 месяцев назад
@@sproonianlitch8232 real shit
@nontobekobiyela2548
@nontobekobiyela2548 4 месяца назад
You forgot to say because they're so special they throw tantrums and we should tippy toe around them else they shout us out.
@thelovely1553
@thelovely1553 3 года назад
Honestly I'd rather count rice than get an avoidant back
@kourtneymarie8995
@kourtneymarie8995 3 года назад
I can understand the pain DA’s put you thru but damn we’re human too
@e-cat5169
@e-cat5169 3 года назад
@@kourtneymarie8995 I actually get so sad at some of the comments I see about DA's. Imagine if people were saying that about their attachment styles....
@carolinelaronda4523
@carolinelaronda4523 3 года назад
💀
@RainIsMakingARainbow
@RainIsMakingARainbow 3 года назад
@@kourtneymarie8995 are you?
@tigerlily6298
@tigerlily6298 3 года назад
@@kourtneymarie8995 I wish you would show it though… I have loads of compassion for you and the guy I love but after 3 years I have to walk away for my sanity
@kubel83
@kubel83 2 года назад
To love an avoidant is like loving a rock. Both are hard, cold and expressionless. Best thing to to is to detect an avoidant and then show them the door out before they do it themselves. Trust me you much much better without someone with DA. They act similar to narcissists. You walk on eggshells all the time. If you don’t give them what they want when they want it 24/7 then they are already planning their exit strategy. And God have mercy on your soul if you are not super human and can’t mind read. They will punish you for it and abandon you in a heartbeat. They are the worst romantic partners you can ever have. Run away like your ass is on fire if you encounter one. Trust me.
@pacs0508
@pacs0508 2 года назад
@@andreadilorenzo_ I have been on that roller coaster ride for seven years and I have just recently come to the conclusion that they are a DA!
@pacs0508
@pacs0508 2 года назад
@@andreadilorenzo_They should just stay single and leave everyone else out of their misery. It's like a cat and mouse game. Maybe they don't care or maybe they don't understand. They should be able to understand that without open and honest communication, there is no relationship and certainly no future. I met someone else like this in the past and it was the same scenario. It took this one for me to figure out what is really going on. Nobody is perfect, but it's like trying to love someone that doesn't know how to be loved. They say opposites attract. It makes one wonder?
@meeraraj0
@meeraraj0 Год назад
😂 it's easier to find some rocks and go bang your head on it instead😂
@Ytdeletesallmycomments
@Ytdeletesallmycomments Год назад
Rocks are pretty and dont lie and betray you. Do not insult them. 😂
@johnhernandez4763
@johnhernandez4763 3 месяца назад
When she broke up with me for no explanation and cut me off. I was d best bf but she took me for granted. I felt betrayed and lied to
@RachelPun
@RachelPun 2 года назад
No. I’m done doing the chasing. If they won’t come correct, I’m not making things fun and light for them just to “trap” them. Things aren’t always meant to be fun and light. If they come back only because they think things won’t be serious, they are not learning and I’m better off without them.
@i.8885
@i.8885 Год назад
The best I can do is contact them a month later to talk about our relationship to see if they still feel this way and get some closure, not ask them back. If they don't ask to try again then you shouldn't (unless you did something bad you need to apologize for). Talking to them like that didn't hurt you and leave you is stupid. Either we talk about us and make a plan, set boundaries etc or they aren't committed
@sarahbright5231
@sarahbright5231 3 года назад
I wouldn’t want him back. I know he’s not a bad person but I couldn’t tolerate that behaviour long term. If I had a few drinks I was too much for him, if I didn’t drink I was boring. He was never in the same room as me and if we went to the beach etc he would be miles away from me. I didn’t know anything about avoidance until a few days ago but I’m glad I do because I was seriously confused
@allaboardthegravytrain5987
@allaboardthegravytrain5987 3 года назад
Same thing with me. If I didn't have anything new to "teach" him I'm stupid, but when I do teach him something new, hed say don't try to be smart.
@ZenPepperClub
@ZenPepperClub 2 года назад
They confuse us oh, they make us anxious they bring down our self-worth and we think it's us when in fact it's them
@adoptioncorner1984
@adoptioncorner1984 2 года назад
@@ZenPepperClub self worth stripped for sure
@courtneyriane3304
@courtneyriane3304 2 года назад
Yes I agree. I didn’t realize I was dating someone with DA attachment style but when I drank with him I was too much, I felt so guilty and ashamed but now I realize what the problem was. I’m so happy I realized because I knew we both had issues, it wasn’t all on me. And I could tell he would get defensive when I tried to talk about something I liked that he didn’t like . It was just such weird vibes I’ve never experienced before and now I can put a name to it.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@Thereddread0409
@Thereddread0409 2 месяца назад
"It'll drive anxious preoccupied nuts" made me laugh out loud!!!!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 месяца назад
🤣
@wyattearp7082
@wyattearp7082 2 года назад
I’ve never had a harder experience in my life than seeing this come out in the love of my life. I’ve also never been treated any worse and at the worse time possible as well when I needed her most. It’s like I have experienced apparently what she had to live thru in her youth
@goulnazgalieva3121
@goulnazgalieva3121 2 года назад
I have gone through something like that. I asked for support because my mother died and this person said no
@brucebacchiocchi1799
@brucebacchiocchi1799 2 года назад
wow I'm Experiencing the same thing now. with her a year and a half. my Mom hasn't got long. she wants me then when we get closer she creates an issue to push me away. so hard, I love her but it's happened often. she is a classic DA yet refuses to believe it
@samanthalennon4447
@samanthalennon4447 Год назад
after two years of being bread crumbed i have only just learnt about attachment styles. i had a break down. i was so confused and the pain of heart break almost killed me. he was the love of my life. he was my best friend. then he treated me so badly and betrayed me in every way a man can betray a woman. thank you for this video. i am finally able to make sense of what was the most painful time in my life.
@katarzynakrause501
@katarzynakrause501 11 месяцев назад
Same here! Hang on sis @@samanthalennon4447
@carinasantos7106
@carinasantos7106 9 месяцев назад
​@@goulnazgalieva3121I experienced the same, when my father passed away he broke up with me. Anyone that want to talk and help me heal?
@monicamavian5214
@monicamavian5214 Год назад
Who would want them back. Run Forrest Run!!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt Год назад
This is FUUUNNY 😂
@tanyasingh5521
@tanyasingh5521 Год назад
As a person who’s with this kind of person and went through this I can confirm this 100%.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt Год назад
Thanks Tanya
@martinfoy9327
@martinfoy9327 Год назад
i would do ANYTHING to unlove her. it’s killing me and it’s destroyed my life. she broke my heart at 47. i was convinced she was the love of my life and then that distant,cold weird behavior started like someone kidnapped her soul, heart and character. i am still as madly in love with her as the year we met. 3 years of bliss gone. i want my lover and best friend back. i’m so f”ed up in the head and traumatized by this i will never ever be able to recover and this pain is worse than my mother dying. i melt when she walked in the room and now she wouldn’t notice me if i was on fire. i can’t believe all of these comments. i don’t know what to think or do. for the rest of my life trust is a luxury i can no longer afford. i’m an certain that i will have to settle for dying alone
@michaelmich00
@michaelmich00 5 месяцев назад
if it quacks like a duck, it swims like a duck, it is a duck, so yes they are narcissists. narcs are egoistical people just like them, narcs do what they want just like them, narcs cant handle emotions just like them
@scorlin7516
@scorlin7516 Год назад
so basically DA should only date other DAs so they can run around in loops together
@wasssup7573
@wasssup7573 3 года назад
I understand where the DA comes from, how they got cold, their fear of abandonment etc... in life you have to however put yourself first. I’m sure prison is filled with people who are good somewhere on the inside but imo it’s not worth the pain trying to get it out of them, it’s each persons responsibility imo. I’m not going to ‘play a game’ to get the reaction I want or the action I want, I’m going to look out for secure attached people and waste less time, energy and feelings on people who are incapable of making YOU happy.
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 года назад
You nailed it! 👌🏻💯 DA's are narcissistic and 🤮heavily selfish.Fuck them! They ain't worth Shit! Move on to better secure ❤🤗people I broke up with my DA ex two years back and kicked him outa my life forever and Oh boy 🙆🌺did I Healed and never been so Happier & Calmer❤🤗 I dated secure men and didn't felt anxious..I unfortunately dated a DA once and faced anxiety & hell both at the same time🤮 I hv met amazing men after I healed❤❤and My man who is a secure attachment style individual treats me like a Queen! ❤😍🤗
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
@@PriyankaGupta-ew1li you seem very happy ☺️
@alexandriamfuta5731
@alexandriamfuta5731 2 года назад
It's no for me,avoidants are so selfish and don't deserve the effort.Might as well move to people who reciprocates and appreciate you.Focus on yourself and things that matter to you rather than going back to the mental gymnastics.
@Kv-pk2st
@Kv-pk2st 4 года назад
Just don't bother with a D.A. way to much BS
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 года назад
Yup👌🏻
@thelovely1553
@thelovely1553 3 года назад
Agreed
@SusanAMoore
@SusanAMoore 3 года назад
If I could add I appreciate your advice and I agree that you absolutely must give Avoidant the breakup, but unless they do the work to stop the self sabotaging push pull behaviors nothing changes. They simply repeat the same dysfunctional patterns over and over and over again. I speak from experience. The push pull pattern is continuous until they get help to heal their trauma wounds causing the avoidant maladaptive behaviors. It doesn't matter how much space you give, how compassionately you communicate unless the Avoidant does the work, it is a revolving door. The other person becomes the enabler of that toxicity. Two books really helped me understand attachment styles Attached by Levine and The Power of Attachment by Heller.
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
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@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
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@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
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@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
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@KeychildProductions
@KeychildProductions Год назад
So... with some self-insight I can say this as a preoccupied anxious style, or at least what became one in the dynamic I was in and got out of 4 months ago. The anxious style has maladaptive behaviors too. Keep in mind there's always more to the story. But to explain... I had these pressure points and this was an LDR, I was the one doing the physical footwork of making it work. Flights, showing up, getting to know their friends and family etc. It wasn't enough. I've read that DA's idealize partners in the beginning and then slowly pick them apart, exaggerating and nitpicking flaws (clumsy, walks weird, turns the door key weird, you name it) and this is true without a doubt. Things nobody else even mentions😂 it makes you question everything. The devaluation process I went through the last months of that relationship was like a meatgrinder, with little inbetween gestures of love. Push/pull. I know what that does to one's head now. So what I was hanging on for was, in the first half of the relationship and during idealizing she would always say you should meet this friend, that friend, all the friends, because they all had interests that aligned with mine down to the bone. Her and I also had strong common interests and I loved the deviations and differences too. She talked about longterm things, imagine this, imagine that somewhere down the line (only to say that's how people flirt, it's not to be taken literally). I had a job opportunity where I could research specific topics where she lived essentially, building on my degree, it was also something she said earlier would have been great... if we were a normal couple; lived in the same region and area and town and yeah. I was all in. I spent the last two months of the relationships before summer working on a research project from the ground up to propose to the committee (I later landed the interview out of 65 people)... went to visit her for the last time, for 10 days. First met her friends and her in the next country over for a small trip, went back to her country... she broke up when we got back to her place. I was stuck there a week, we lived together. It was emotional abuse each day, you think there is a bottom one can reach through devaluation? No. It's endless. I can't tell you how far one falls mentally, or how many old wounds awaken and how pathetic it makes you. She made sure to say all of the things that would cut deep, and made sure to smile occasionally. I get that devaluation is a defense mechanism or yeah, but. And I did try to leave earlier, ordered a ticket out across the border where there were flights available... that country issued a state of emergency and I had to cancel it. At one point she said "you are staying here until your original flight, I dont want to look like an asshole, you are not leaving"... next day? "You were supposed to know you were supposed to leave". Zoom ahead? It got so bad I was put into a clinic for some weeks by my family and doctor when I got back, something in me snapped and I spiralled hard, by then it was summer. And throughout the summer when I got out... I blew up her phone, doing all the wrong moves. "You fucked with my head". "This is a setback that will last". The blamegame. I know my role. I know the pressure she felt from all of that and from working on moving there too, but at the same time... she was cheering it on while I was writing the project, even came with ideas. So I was pissed. And it's confusing because, you love the person and you DON'T want to blame them even after all of that. But the stakes were so high. I lost control. We've been no contact for 2 months now. She saw no self-respect from my part on any of that behavior and that I get, my mind was already at the point where the bridge was burnt which is why I said those things. At the same time... I told her while saying it I needed to vent. She validated how bad things hurt me, I didnt need it but she did. And I really wanted to still be friends somehow out of the common interests. But my behavior had already blown that. Point is... Anxious styles have maladaptive behavior too. I'm working on myself. I'm more grounded. But in terms of life and jobs and getting ahead? That situation created the worst setback I've been through and still am in, and yeah a part of me was pissed because in the situation she's in... she's living the dream. On my side of things, everything fell apart. The messed up thing is I still love that person and that's gonna take a while. Learn from my situation how you see fit, I take responsibility for my role at this point.
@Prismatic_Nomad
@Prismatic_Nomad 4 года назад
Thank you so much for this. This was so helpful. Looking at them like a cat blew my mind and immediately made we realize that anxious preoccupied ppl, like me, are like dogs. It makes so much sense now.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
We give love no matter what and are extremely loyal.....to our own demise sometimes
@AphroditeThePriestess
@AphroditeThePriestess 2 года назад
You just want love ! It’s natural!
@pacs0508
@pacs0508 2 года назад
@@IamCoachCourt 👏🏾👏🏽👏🏼👏🏻👏👏🏿💯🎯
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together...
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's...
@SeaWitch99
@SeaWitch99 2 года назад
I reached out after 8 weeks, we've been talking a little everyday, it was really really slow at first just one message from him a day now we have full conversations, we saw each other yesterday and had food and a good time, I was helping him Christmas shopping. I'm just replying when he does and seeing what happens, but it feels good ☺️
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
@FM-zg5hz
@FM-zg5hz 2 года назад
Update?
@monicamonica5924
@monicamonica5924 2 года назад
Update?
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@Zanzibarbarian88
@Zanzibarbarian88 Год назад
Yeah this resonates. My DA ex ended things very abruptly after 3 months. Went from legit feeling like we were falling in love, to breadcrumbing and distancing. I had to drag it out of them that they didn't want a relationship. Now, if I give her space, she'll text me about random stuff. But if I try to initiate something via text, I'm 8/10 times getting ghosted. So frustrating. Thinking about going mild no contact for awhile.
@scorlin7516
@scorlin7516 Год назад
block her ass lol
@seweso
@seweso Год назад
I hope you did a permanent no-contact. :O
@plasteredpisces
@plasteredpisces Год назад
Watching this now. My SP ghosted me randomly after coming over one night. We hadn't hung out for a month but he would always text me everyday. if i didn't text, he would make sure to text me before the night ended. We were pretty much bestfriends. He seemed excited to see me and was really happy to be there, he even kissed me. But after that, he jumped ship. He didnt reply to texts. I texted only twice and detached. He posted on social media some but seemed to be in a funk.. I've been in NC with him for a month now. Deleted social media and such. Dismissive Avoidants are a headache to deal with, so thank you for making this!
@fordfalcon85
@fordfalcon85 Год назад
Thanks Coach! Wow, your advice is eerily accurate even down to the numbers! We got back to a good place about 2 months after the break up by giving her space. We then reconnected for a few months but unfortunately, she's pulling away again. I've reimplemented some space so we'll see how we go.. I must admit, I'm tired of these games, but I really love her.
@kevinclayette630
@kevinclayette630 Год назад
Hey man, similar situation here, would love to chat if ure ever down?
@russellfowler8186
@russellfowler8186 4 месяца назад
Who reached out to who, after the 2 months?
@fordfalcon85
@fordfalcon85 4 месяца назад
@@russellfowler8186 She asked me if I was going to a cafe with her when we were having a group catch up.
@nellyshivere4267
@nellyshivere4267 Год назад
Great advice... Ill be patient for that long and see what comes up again.
@virglow
@virglow Год назад
It’s constant egg shells… our first break up, I broke up with him. The distancing and ghosting hurt. He came back 9 months after NC. This break up was worse. He emails me here and there, but it’s full of anger. I called him out for all the bs he is doing. Now he thinks I’m just out to get him. It’s sooooooo exhausting. I don’t care if he comes back. I truly loved him. I’d still be his friend if he came out about it. I’m not putting in anymore effort.
@yintotheyang6433
@yintotheyang6433 3 года назад
There’s that sentence I was waiting for !! Prove to them that you’re not gonna abandon them like everybody else. He’s constantly asking me if I’m seeing anybody even though I made it clear to him that I’m not like his exes. But him asking me questions like that makes me feel like he actually doesn’t give a shit whether I stay or go
@kourtneymarie8995
@kourtneymarie8995 3 года назад
Hm as a DA it’s hard for me to fathom my partner thinks I don’t care which is part of the problem but when asking certain things how can I make the person know I care? For example how could you have asked you that question and made you feel like he cared?
@yintotheyang6433
@yintotheyang6433 3 года назад
@@kourtneymarie8995 y’all live in your heads and don’t communicate like normal people.
@jh5588
@jh5588 2 года назад
As a DA I can not imagine asking someone if they are going to abandon me or asking if they are seeing someone else.. unless I’m hoping the answer would be yes to both.
@Kevdo92
@Kevdo92 4 года назад
Hey Coach Court, great content man. Can't believe you only have 255 subs, your channel definitely deserves many more! I'm a mild AA and I've been in no contact with my mild DA ex for a little over 3 months. We ended things very amicably, we talked everything out and it just wasn't working for her. I let her know I didn't want the break up, but respected her decision to do so. Haven't talked to her since that day. I wanted to really dig deep to ask myself if she was the one for me, and if her concerns about me were valid things I needed to question about myself. I've learned so much in this time about myself and our relationship. I don't know if I should be the one to reach out first though. In a lot of ways, I think it's up to her to decide if she wants to reach back out to me. If so, we can go from there, but if I reach out, I'm not sure things will go as well. This side of no contact is very confusing!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
Man. I truly do appreciate your feedback! There are a lot of different factors that come into play when I advice my clients to reach out. Since it was amicable, I would say it’s safe. It’s our pride as men, and fear of rejection as an AA that prevents it. For coaching email me at: www.fruitfulseedz.com
@amelianoah443
@amelianoah443 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@amelianoah443
@amelianoah443 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@amelianoah443
@amelianoah443 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's.
@jdprettynails
@jdprettynails 3 месяца назад
“Just let them come and go” So what do the rest of us do with our pain in the meantime while we wait for them to grace us with their presence again?
@terrysteward
@terrysteward Год назад
I’m glad you said they display similar traits to Narcissists,im struging to work out if it’s MLC with NPD and or DA qualities,,I want to fix my marriage,but she really makes herself difficult to love,with her criticism contemptuous selfish behaviours,favouring friends over us
@jamesgraves9858
@jamesgraves9858 Год назад
My thing is where is the happiness in this behavior for DAs? Love is the most beautiful thing you can have in this life and they'll never adequately accept or give it. It's sad.
@ana5622
@ana5622 4 года назад
I love your videos - they’re so informative and helpful. Much love from England ☺️
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
Thank you so much Ana 🙏🏾 . Share the channel to whoever you think would benefit! 😊
@amelianoah443
@amelianoah443 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@amelianoah443
@amelianoah443 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@amelianoah443
@amelianoah443 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's.
@ChilledOut
@ChilledOut 4 года назад
Thank you for the insightful video!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
You're welcome!
@Dreamsareareality
@Dreamsareareality 3 года назад
We got you over 4100 subs. New subscriber. Great video. Yesss!!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
❤️❤️❤️
@evanwilson8302
@evanwilson8302 Год назад
In reality it’s going to take years to get a real dismissive avoidant back. They operate on survival and not love. They know survival and not love. And they will gravitate to relationships that are beneficial to their own self confidence and not love. Eventually they will realize that only love will heal them but only through the hard way which is through failure. You have to let them try their own way and let them fail on their own. They will compare you to people that will never live up they will choose a partner that they feel safe with over the one they love and they will try any and everything to avoid any accountability and failures of their own. I believe they can get better though but in order for this to happen you will have to set boundaries and create a circumstance in which they will have to confront their feelings towards you. Be nice, be distant, be calm and secure, be patient, and humble. They will eventually give in if the feelings were real and all that was done to you can and will be paid in full but you have to get to a point where it no longer matters to you what they do. In other words by becoming super secure they are someone worth having but you have to challenge yourself to do the opposite of them. So when they move destructively move productively. And when they come back set an extremely high standard that they have to live up to and dont give in to them until they can reach your requirements.
@loverofbeautifulthings
@loverofbeautifulthings Год назад
Very well-said. I am now in episode #2 of where he just kind of disappears after a particularly lovely and vulnerable time together. The first time we had been seeing each other for about six weeks and then he disappeared for 2-1/2 months. I let him back in and the second go-round lasted 4-1/2 months. I last saw him on New Year's Eve and it was absolutely lovely. We have never argued and he seemed to be letting go a bit. Now it's been over a month with just one text from him that said he missed seeing me (his excuse is that it was duck hunting season all of January and he runs a club on his property). I don't reach out and I guess we'll see if comes back around again (I am still on some dating apps in the meantime). Trying to figure out the best way to state that I need to feel safe and for me that means not being ghosted (if he ever comes back into my orbit). I know he has a beautiful soul and I have told him that~~it must be horrible to be so afraid to let someone love you.
@ildikoegervari8664
@ildikoegervari8664 2 года назад
Wow, the last sentences of the video.. "..this is just how they process their emotions." "They have to discover how is life without you." Thank you!
@elliekudou8592
@elliekudou8592 2 года назад
R they able to live without me? They actually care or just dont care?
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@berry6313
@berry6313 2 года назад
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ADVICE! My best friend just pulled way and it left me all puzzled and confused and anxious. I already reassured her that I am always there for her, I am always there to listen and respect her boundaries, but got eventually more anxious when didn't got any reply. Imma try to follow this I hope this works, all I can do is try cause I really love and understand her. Also I was sending her Too many messages begging and pleading, understood that it won't work and will make it worse..cause she has already done this kind of stonewalling behavior before. I am just afraid that she won't come back as she thinks it's damaging my mental health which is kinda true but staying with her made us better. Edit: I am anxious cause i feel like she will replace me if it's late i.e if she finds someone else but tbh chances are less. Also I have always wanted a more secure committed relationship but I get it even if she loves me it's hard for her to commit THAT MUCH and she can easily pull away if she want to.
@kaylabarkie9192
@kaylabarkie9192 Год назад
Did it end up working out for you?
@upperiscopeUK
@upperiscopeUK 2 года назад
Well informed, sound and sensible advice, compassionately communicated.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
Thank you!
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@zofiafredro9550
@zofiafredro9550 3 года назад
You are so right coach 😊
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Thanks!
@Dj17doa
@Dj17doa 2 года назад
Yeeaaahhh no. If they’re not trying to better themselves and staying in that attachment style then that’s on them. If they don’t want to be more of a secure person then they’ll just continue to be disappointed for the rest of their life and that’ll be their own karma. Us individuals should not change who we are to make someone like us again. I agree with the whole attachment style process but i wouldn’t waste my time “waiting” or trying to “change” myself to fit their own needs. I come first before anyone else.
@TheAlgreen49
@TheAlgreen49 9 месяцев назад
I subscribed as soon as you gave the breakdown im an anxious ....and man I'm trying. Headed to therapy soon to help myself though this.
@GordonPavilion
@GordonPavilion 2 года назад
The cat analogy is perfect!
@hanma1465
@hanma1465 4 года назад
don't ever reach out to them , let them come back don't go in the same mistake I made
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
How long did you wait before reaching out?
@hanma1465
@hanma1465 4 года назад
Coach Court 1 month and she said i dont want to talk again ever again so i deleted her number and now I’m in no contact for 4 months and I’m continuing in no contact till she initiate conversation i will never ever initiate conversation again , she told me she is avoidant attachmen she was honest anyway.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
1 month wasn’t long enough. They most likely was still in the anger/relief phase. Sorry it didn’t go well 😔
@hanma1465
@hanma1465 4 года назад
Coach Court so my advice is never tell people to contact them , the best solution is for them to fix themselves on their own , if you keep pressure on avoidant he will get angry and will accuse you of things you didn’t do to force you to leave.
@hanma1465
@hanma1465 4 года назад
Coach Court thank you coach ♥️
@tintinpenaredondo6531
@tintinpenaredondo6531 4 года назад
At least I have hope in this video for my DA bf for 5 years. Yes I tried to gave him 3 weeks no contact and when i reached him he just reply two messages and when I replied he ignored my text even he is online in messenger. So I did is while he ignoring me I focus to myself and do Self-Sooth, exercise, hiking, colecting information how to earn money just to avoid thinking about him and learn self-love, find my self worth and self value. Also trying to find any information avoid DA so that I can understand more. We didn't break up but something happen that i broke his trust and started that time since then he seldom to pm me and he just seen my text and no reply at all but that time I don't know about the attachment style. But now I knew... I need to give him space then focus to myself.
@alexandrachirila3099
@alexandrachirila3099 3 года назад
Updates?
@kintuinka
@kintuinka 2 года назад
Thanks for your work and effort coach. And for talking about dismising avoidant personality
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@petrpulchart8010
@petrpulchart8010 2 года назад
You are very good at it!!!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
Thank you! 🙏🏾
@jenerlendson5911
@jenerlendson5911 3 года назад
What if things were perfect, were working on communication, were happy, the DA was making plans for our future, saying how much he wanted a future together, etc... Then instantly, like a switch, (seriously all of a sudden) he breaks it off, and put on blinders to real life, creates a fantasy world with a girl he had just met, after only an afternoon with her... Nothing makes sense...
@kellegeez
@kellegeez 3 года назад
I'm curious to know the update of your situation
@jenerlendson5911
@jenerlendson5911 3 года назад
@@kellegeez well.... Too much stuff.. this was back on August, he finally moved his stuff out in sept after his summer job ended that led to all this, we no longer had contact. He stayed hung up on her and spiraled far down. End of Nov he broke up with her (the umpteenth time) and showed up at my place, I compassionately let him move back... Ten days later he realized he still wanted her so I backed right off, and their toxicity continued til Valentine's Day, long distance, all while he still lived in my spare room... Currently, he's still at my place, they're over... we're, well I wish I knew, friends I guess... I miss our relationship... No idea where his head is regarding me, if it weren't for the lack of intimacy, I'd almost think things were back... I still love him but guess that remains with me....
@tigerlily6298
@tigerlily6298 3 года назад
@@jenerlendson5911 Ugh. These DAs are headf*cks! I hope you can find peace but I sadly doubt it will be with him💕
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈..
@victoriavaughn613
@victoriavaughn613 3 года назад
I don’t think any advice can help me to do anything other than move on. We were best friends for over decade. Things were seemingly getting pretty serious during 2020 and then one day he ghosted me. Our last conversation he said I love you, hung up, and sent a funny meme like an ordinary conversation. I woke up to being blocked on social media and text. I don’t need to say how unexpected it was and how miserable I felt. I’m an insecure anxious preoccupied for sure. And since I’ve been in forced no contact I’ve seen everything from therapists to preachers to an emergency room visit. Months have passed and I’m pretty sure he is completely indifferent to my existence. Life sucks.
@jsphotos
@jsphotos 2 года назад
Learn to love yourself. It can be a challenge, but if you do, you will no longer tolerate dismissive folks. They are not bad people; they are badly wounded and will not change unless they are motivated to do so. It's tragic, but true. I've been there.
@adoptioncorner1984
@adoptioncorner1984 2 года назад
I feel your pain, they make you want to not exist anymore. It's heartbreaking and soul destroying.
@Euphoryaaa
@Euphoryaaa Год назад
Just went through this. I was just trying to show her I cared about her and got blocked on all social media. I should’ve just given her space but I thought her social media posts were passive aggressive posts about me and her being upset with “cold emotionally unavailable people”. So I broke initial no contact and got blocked.
@karlashmeedavlasta6365
@karlashmeedavlasta6365 4 года назад
I just dont get their strange trust issues...I AM trustworthy, everybody but her can see this. I gave so much, even more and beyond...and MY trust was broken manytimes by her... talking about trust issues. They are obviously more mentally challenged than I thought.... Update 10/20. She left, I am heartbroken, but not more than before....I realize: my life will get easier now! I went NC and she already reached out after not even a week. I did'nt respond, didnt feel right to respond. I am sure your advice is solid...but I feel really abused by this behaviour and it really messed up my life. In six years I was totally powerless, my wishes and desires did'nt count. I overcame my abandonment issues, this I learnt. I am sad, but I am good. Update 5/22. I am still hurting. I got myself a second dog, so at least my (first) dog is not depressed any more... I see her almost every day, we walk the dogs together.....Never talk about any personal stuff.... For her, I am just a friend... For me, this isn't even friendship. Messed up. Update 30/7/22. There was an event when I got physically hurt and she just stood there and didn't help me. It was exactly then, when I realized, what type of ugly person she is. I stopped all interacting right there and told her why. It's been a few weeks since and I still feel, this was finally the right desicion. Get her out of my life, out, just out.
@PeopleAreHell
@PeopleAreHell 3 года назад
Us Dismissive Avoidants are a tough crowd. I really hope you're doing well and started to figure out your personal worth and boundaries to 'avoid' unhealthy relationships in the future. Unfortunately, many DAs don't get their strange trust issues either. But I do get how it left you confused. Keep healing and growing!
@karlashmeedavlasta6365
@karlashmeedavlasta6365 3 года назад
@@PeopleAreHell thank you....and hello from Germany.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@NatNatz889
@NatNatz889 2 года назад
Thanks for the advice, short , simple and effective and positive
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
❤️
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@pandorapink1227
@pandorapink1227 Год назад
Good advice.
@How.Dare.You.
@How.Dare.You. 2 года назад
I dont even feel a difference before or after the break up with DA. He made me feel lonely during the relationship, no sex from built up resentment so not much difference now
@divinenoor7163
@divinenoor7163 4 года назад
Hi. I just found you. I'm so excited to listen to all your videos. My question is what if the DA left the relationship? How do I deal with him if he comes back? Because I feel very disrespected for being ghosted. Thanks
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
Welcome him back, but set better boundaries for the future. State your needs and expectations for a healthier relationship
@sally5256
@sally5256 Год назад
I love the cat analogy! Thank you 🙏 ❤
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt Год назад
Thanks Sally!
@Tj-dd9ws
@Tj-dd9ws 2 года назад
Thank you ! So informative ! 🙏🏾♥️
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@misslee6878
@misslee6878 3 года назад
Definitely true does take about two to three months I had my x come back she started with small talk after she was playing around with few people during that time and we back together and after a year I broke up with her again but this time it's for real three years now nothing is changing. And also very true on video they do normally come back stronger.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Wow! Just trying to educate. Thanks for confirming it!
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
I know of a man who can manifest your ex partner back and restore back your broken relationship easily__
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
He brought back my husband after 7 years of separation and brought us together in peace within 3days and settle my marital challenges easily His name is Dr Miracle Gabe,he can also help you out__
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
""Whts" App " him __
@ravinetha6789
@ravinetha6789 3 года назад
+2348029822204
@alexej6080
@alexej6080 3 года назад
Thank you SO SO SO much for the analogy with the cat!!!! I finally understand! I was always better with animals than with humans, and being more fearful I didn't know how to handle da behaviours. But I know how to handle cats, and make them trust me again after something. :)
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
🙏🏾🙏🏾 you got it!
@sandra123marar
@sandra123marar 3 года назад
I'm an FA. Which is why I love dogs and not so much cats.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
@@sandra123marar lol
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@MrSooMighty
@MrSooMighty 2 года назад
Awesome video, thank you for this. I really needed it.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
You got it
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's..
@ivia_ol8356
@ivia_ol8356 3 года назад
Guys gus, notice what coach says about DAs? If you make initial break up difficult for them, they will be less likely to want to reconcile, because of the potential future break up being difficult . Can't deny I'm in shock. DA hasn't even reconciled with you yet but already is thinking about another break up. Good grief
@jh5588
@jh5588 2 года назад
I’m a DA and your comment is gold. I literally laughed out loud about already thinking about the next break up.
@pacs0508
@pacs0508 2 года назад
@@jh5588 🙊🙉🙈
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@droflivelife
@droflivelife Год назад
I touched base with my DA after 2 weeks of NC, I told her I have no interest in getting back together but would like her in my life as we both move on to other things. This let her guard down, I never discussed the potential of a relationship, just let the actions do the talking and let her fall for me again.
@joev7014
@joev7014 6 месяцев назад
Any updates?
@droflivelife
@droflivelife 6 месяцев назад
@joev7014 that was over a year ago. A lot has happened. Back then, becoming just friends again worked. I recommend this to anyone trying to get back with an avoidant. A couple of months later we were together again. It was amazing, she was talking, kids, rings, house. But unfortunately as it got more serious, and I have to say it was her driving this more than me, she got more avoidant and I got more anxious. She left me 7 months ago after moving in with me. I went no contact for 5 months. I touched base, she was cold as ice, no intention of getting back.
@joev7014
@joev7014 6 месяцев назад
@@droflivelife damn, thanks for letting me know… I have that problem too. I think I’m just gonna have to let her go for good even tho I still have feelings for her. It is what it is
@test1test219
@test1test219 3 года назад
Let them come and go as they please?! Oh my god how horrible of a relationship that sounds. As far as I can see DAs ARE narcissists through and through. Absolutely horribly selfish heartless people.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Test1 \test2 And I hope you l heal from your trauma 🙏🏾
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 года назад
DA's are narcissistic and 🤮heavily selfish.Fuck them! They ain't worth Shit! Move on to better secure ❤🤗people I broke up with my DA ex two years back and kicked him pura my life forever and boy I hv healed and never been so Happier & Calmer❤🤗
@empress_highpriestess3307
@empress_highpriestess3307 3 года назад
@@IamCoachCourt what possible " trust betrayals are THEY undergoing ? "
@adrij4961
@adrij4961 3 года назад
It honestly seems like it!! But the difference is narcs are hugely lacking empathy and abuse people often. They punish you after leaving or for offending them. DAs still have empathy but are just afraid. Narcs never love people or get attached to anyone
@kourtneymarie8995
@kourtneymarie8995 3 года назад
Let them come and go sounds bad, just means allow them to have time with their friends or alone sometimes
@railabeouf
@railabeouf 3 года назад
As an preoccupied person 😅.. this person (DA) partner ghosted me, so technically he didn’t break up, but he completely disappeared out of nowhere. I decided to give him space and let him go, but unfortunately prior I practically bombed him. Calling several times a day, texting, pleading and begging- exactly what you expressed. I was confused as to why he spent months treating me like the love of his life only to suddenly ghost me. But now I feel I may have ruined the opportunity to get him back. I’m kind of hoping theres hope, so I just sent him a message letting him know I’m just wishing him the best and if he wants to end, that’s fine, even if I don’t want to I respect him. I’m trying, but it’s so hard. I’ve spent hours just crying and crying.
@TheRialGlamLife
@TheRialGlamLife 3 года назад
I sure hope you're feeling better bae! 🙏🏾
@railabeouf
@railabeouf 3 года назад
@@TheRialGlamLife a lot better, thanks so much! I think he’s more FA but I haven’t heard from him yet sadly. I’m working on me for now until I do. :)
@adoptioncorner1984
@adoptioncorner1984 2 года назад
That's all you do is cry with an avoidant. It's heartbreaking
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@Jus-Too-Smoove
@Jus-Too-Smoove 2 года назад
Bra I already begged and pleaded after her breaking up with me and now finally realizing that she’s a DA. I need that video on how to get her back after that because I just need the wisdom man. I wish I knew all of this stuff sooner
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's.
@gozitan5
@gozitan5 2 года назад
I’m in this predicament at this moment Court’ 😕 ….seems like a lot of hard work for very little reward….or as my friend said “That’s not a relationship …it’s management “…..I’d love her back all the same ….Thanks bud 👍
@kourtneymarie8995
@kourtneymarie8995 3 года назад
As a DA myself this is accurate! Remind yourself: what do I want? If you want a dismissive you have be in our eyes- respectful of our boundaries-which means exactly what he said- space-but I do have to say a couple months is a long time? I wouldn’t honestly reach out before then cuz then it confirms to the DA everyone does leave/abandonment but every situation is different. Just when u do reach remember meet in person, or FT, keep it fun! & no talk of commitment, give space & resistance w/out playing games (so be consistent and be there for the person). If you play this right and we like you we WILL come to you & the rolls will reverse! Well be chasing you lol
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Thanks for the insight Kourtney!
@NM-vs5lg
@NM-vs5lg 3 года назад
Wow great to know 👍👍
@FM-zg5hz
@FM-zg5hz 2 года назад
@@komatsu8169 Exactly. Not worth it! Life is too short
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@gabbymontoya2085
@gabbymontoya2085 3 года назад
Here kitty kitty ...🐱lol sorry couldn’t help it . You are so right about the analogy..
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
🤣🤣
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@Degenskier
@Degenskier 4 месяца назад
Thanks for your videos
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 месяца назад
🙏🏾
@DW076
@DW076 2 года назад
Im going through this process now with my wife currently she wants to detach and i didn’t understand why because on my attachment style. I had alittle bit of protest behavior but after watching a couple videos on a attachment styles and marriage counseling it made me understand her in a better light. Im taking the time to reignite that flame inside me by working out and diving deep in my passion. For anxious types dont look at this as the end of the world. Get some rest and go after what energizes you.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
💯
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@alexandrulupu725
@alexandrulupu725 3 года назад
I can confirm you that after 4 months of no contact, the DA contacted me telling me things that a DA hardly would ever tell. But it has to do with being a difference in the DA's life. I don't think a DA would come back in any relationship, it has to be "the one" myth for them.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Thanks for the input!!
@FM-zg5hz
@FM-zg5hz 2 года назад
Update?
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@modmartinez
@modmartinez 2 года назад
I love your videos 💗
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
🙏🏾
@kathleenburns4850
@kathleenburns4850 2 года назад
2-3 months!😩 It makes more sense than what other coaches are saying.
@kathleenburns4850
@kathleenburns4850 2 года назад
Yup. He just reached out….2 month mark. Pretending nothing happened.🙄
@monicamonica5924
@monicamonica5924 2 года назад
Update?
@kathleenburns4850
@kathleenburns4850 2 года назад
@@monicamonica5924 mine emerged at two months as though nothing happened.
@monicamonica5924
@monicamonica5924 2 года назад
@@kathleenburns4850 are you still together?
@kathleenburns4850
@kathleenburns4850 2 года назад
@@monicamonica5924 yes. Stronger than ever.
@xinzhao1938
@xinzhao1938 3 года назад
My avoidant didn't say anything when i left him. the first day since I left him,he followed one girl each day on ins. i know he‘ve been spending time looking for someone to replace me crazily. which is a good sign. made me very sure that he still love me. but the problem is that he's so stubborn and proud. he already hated me for abandoned him,so he won't reach out.
@monicamonica5924
@monicamonica5924 2 года назад
Update?
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@fleecejohnson6939
@fleecejohnson6939 Год назад
3:43 exactly... yea they want to know you will be their little puppy again for the next time they dump you.... don't even talk to them ever again... they will always be single always
@marguskiis7711
@marguskiis7711 День назад
Sounds good.
@GordonPavilion
@GordonPavilion 2 года назад
Nearly 5 months of absolute No Contact with my Dismissive Avoidant …waiting. I am giving them the break they desired.
@xScarlingx
@xScarlingx 3 года назад
I have a DA ex. He came back after 9 months and was really really honest& still wants to see if we can make it work. He told me last week he’s going through some things& feeling depressed after losing his job amongst other things. I put pressure on him& kind of pushed to meet up& he didn’t respond& we haven’t spoken for a week now. After actually speaking everyday for a solid month. He would often video call me as well. He has reacquainted me with his family & tells me he loves me everyday. He also explained that he felt pressured in the relationship & needed time to heal and grow but he believes I am the one for him& he does want to get back together. Part of me feels disrespected but part of me actually knows he feels pressured to see me (and possibly this is intertwined with his financial situation) & I’m not excusing him - he is someone who needs a lot of space& processing time. It needs to be him leading. Just wondering if I should just break the ice & reach out with no pressure to resume the flow or let him come to me given that his actions show he is not ready for this step yet. I’m asking because I know DA’s can just leave things alone even if they want to take action
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
xScarlingx if you still care, don’t let his bids for connection go unwarranted
@xScarlingx
@xScarlingx 3 года назад
Coach Court I feel like I’ve been crowding him tho... It’s a hard place. I have been messaging him more than he has messaged me recently and I felt he may need a little space. And we haven’t spoken in a week so...it feels like I read it right But yes, I want to honour his vulnerability& not have my ego lead the show. So I feel stuck honestly.
@xScarlingx
@xScarlingx 3 года назад
Coach Court I REALLY appreciate you responding. God knows. I’ve been racking my brain 🙏🏾
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
xScarlingx see if you can see him in person and catch up
@xScarlingx
@xScarlingx 3 года назад
Coach Court I tried. As I said above - he eluded to meeting up and I asked when and he didn’t respond. He’s done this twice now lol but first tine he asked me what days I’m free and just said okay and continued talking about something else. So I’m just unsure what that even means🤷‍♀️
@hotrodZack1948
@hotrodZack1948 Год назад
Thank you, I guess we will see if I messed things up in the days following by pleading and apologizing (anxious type) if I remember I’ll check back in March hah
@Sheisimmaculate
@Sheisimmaculate 4 месяца назад
As a FA leaning dismissive. I’m just not ever going to reach out if I ended something due to the other person triggering my trust wound. We’re not cold but we have found peace and safety in our solitude so being that person that is patient and also the one who shows up caring about our well being and giving us safety with them is vital to us attaching. We are work but if we’re conscious we’re willing to do the work to get to a secure place because the last thing we want to do is hurt someone we care about. It really boils down to us being so scared of being hurt, betrayed, abandoned we hurt ppl un intentionally most of the time, because we were overwhelmed with emotions that made us feel not safe.
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 месяца назад
Thank you for insight ❤️
@yswen828
@yswen828 Год назад
Even if they broke up with you, it’s possible to reattract them and get them to fall in love with you again. I don’t know if that will work in my situation since he moved away to another state. And I just received an email from him saying he’ll come back to visit his parents so either we can meet and discuss somethings like nothing happened, or I just tell him I don’t want to see him at all because of how he treated me and saying goodbye.
@KandyKoatedKrafts
@KandyKoatedKrafts 2 года назад
I don’t have time for a “scaredy-cat “…..just get a dog instead! 😼🐶
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
You’re on a roll today Kandice lol
@ammu1295
@ammu1295 3 года назад
Thank you so much!
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
My pleasure! ☺️
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@AphroditeThePriestess
@AphroditeThePriestess 2 года назад
What a torture ! Use this 2 months to heal yourself! Work on past traumas, generate self worth by healing your inner child, so you can manifest a partner who would want to give to you equally!
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@christabelmullan4034
@christabelmullan4034 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's.
@gregwriezener9693
@gregwriezener9693 Год назад
A DA broke up with me over text twice. Both time I accepted it and gave them the breakup. The 2nd time I said I was not interested in friendship but to contact me if things change. Any advice on how I handled this? how to handle moving foreward?
@julesD0222
@julesD0222 5 месяцев назад
You handled it well. Any update?
@quynhhuong400
@quynhhuong400 4 года назад
hello can you turn on subtitles ? i’m not native but find your information very helpful 😢🙏🏻✨🦋
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
I will try!
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@careitina1412
@careitina1412 7 месяцев назад
Yes,mine came back stronger and stronger every time(with a 3 months breadcrumbing and ghostong between those intense phases every time),and every time I'd hope this time they will remain this way-opened. No.The stronger they come the next time,the stronger you are confused and HURT.It's like you are thrown on the hard asphalf from 4th, than 7h than 9th floor !
@the.hamel.mammal7802
@the.hamel.mammal7802 Год назад
2:54 I'm trying to get my dismissive avoidant babe back, and I just took the quiz! Sure as shit, I'm the anxious preoccupied type.
@12345678abracadabra
@12345678abracadabra 4 года назад
hey coach, ive engaged with a DA ex casually for 6 months with no pressuring but it feels like its going nowhere. i think hes only talking to me to soothe his separation anxiety. if i keep engaging, wouldnt he keep using me?
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 4 года назад
I wouldn’t expect for him to take a step forward first. It had to be you once you guys are in a good spot communication wise!
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 года назад
Leave him! DA's are narcissistic and 🤮heavily selfish.Fuck them! They ain't worth Shit! Move on to better secure ❤🤗people I broke up with my DA ex two years back and kicked him outa my life forever and boy I hv healed and never been so Happier & Calmer❤🤗
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@alexandriamfuta5731
@alexandriamfuta5731 2 года назад
I honestly and respectfully disagree, breaking up is the right move.Going back and forth as if that person is more valuable than you?💀💀
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
I’m all about doing what’s best for your mental health
@alexandriamfuta5731
@alexandriamfuta5731 2 года назад
Why do DA think they are better than you?
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 2 года назад
@@alexandriamfuta5731 it’s subconscious, i think it has to do with overly self reliance they had to learn
@lilliankillian7366
@lilliankillian7366 3 года назад
Thankyou very helpful it was 7 months when he broke it off. It's now about a month but we do talk .
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.
@elizabetholivia6126
@elizabetholivia6126 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
@MahoganyMagee
@MahoganyMagee 3 года назад
I was in a on/off relationship with what I believe to be a fearful avoidant. I recently realized I am an Anxious Preoccupied. I have hurt him so much by not giving him the space he needs.
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's.
@juliemichaud6118
@juliemichaud6118 3 года назад
That's gooood advice! Lived the analogy with the cat. I have a question. I am in love with a DA. I am secure..sometimes too secure. I think people are going to treat me like I treat them. Intuitively I knew to leave him alone. Two days ago he reached out after 6 weeks of NC. He said he loved me and I said it back. The very next day neither one of us reached out..and nothing again today. What is up??? I feel like I always had to reach out 1st so I'm not doing it anymore. His turn to match his words with actions. Am I wasting my time thinking things will change?
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
Maybe he’s still fearing being rejected. 🤷🏾‍♂️Hard to tell
@juliemichaud6118
@juliemichaud6118 3 года назад
Ty! My thoughts too. I will reach out and say, Hey 🙂
@IamCoachCourt
@IamCoachCourt 3 года назад
@@juliemichaud6118 good luck 🤞🏾
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..
@stefanmaria3031
@stefanmaria3031 2 года назад
@✛19059193258❤⏯⏯눈‸눈
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